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good-beanswrites · 5 months

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Remembering how Futa said in one timeline that there’s no way a woman could beat a man in a fight and got his ass beat. Can you do a crackfic of the girls beating him up for that?

Ahahaha thank you for the request!! This was really fun to write omg -- and well deserved, there was no need for all that in the timeline convo 😤 He was too busy thinking of leverages and forms he failed to consider the fury of a woman scorned..... may he rest in peace......

Fuuta didn’t even know what he did to earn himself an ass-beating.

“Oh, you know what you did,” Yuno said. She closed the cell door behind her.

Whatever it was, it had managed to anger every woman on the premises. He thought it took a lot to get girls riled up this much – something like cheating on them or calling them names, you know? But without a single action on his part, he found himself facing Yuno, Muu, and Amane. All three had a fire in their eyes that Fuuta was not liking the look of.

Mahiru had pointed him to his cell, saying Es was looking for him there. She spoke strangely as she did it, and waited awkwardly outside as he went in, but everyone around here was a little odd. How was he supposed to distinguish when people were being murderer-in-a-supernatural-prison weird from setting-a-trap-to-corner-him-in-his-cell weird?

He waved his palms in front of him. “Listen, listen! Let’s just talk, okay? Let’s slow down.”

Muu cracked her knuckles.

Amane began rolling up her sleeves in perfect creases. “You have doubted our abilities. We will make you a believer.”

Fuuta took a few steps back. His voice came out loud and frantic. “What are you talking about? If you’re looking to pick a fight, you better think twice, because I’m not gonna hit a girl or anything.”

“Oh, good!” Yuno’s voice was as bubbly as always as the three closed in. “That will make our job a lot easier.”

He felt his back hit the wall. “I mean it, let’s just talk about this for a sec! Hey!”

Mikoto’s voice came from outside the cell.

“Mappi? What’s going on in there?”

“Yes!” Fuuta called, “Mikoto! Help! They’re gonna kill me in here!”

“Oh, no need to worry~ The girls are just teaching him a little lesson about not saying awful things.”

“Isn’t this going a bit too far…? What did he even say?”

“Nothing! Come on, get me the fuck outta here!”

“I believe his exact words were, ‘there’s no way a girl could win in a fight against a man.’”

Fuuta paled. He did say that, didn't he...

“Oh crap. Yeah, that’d do it. Carry on.”

“Wha–? Mikoto!”

He gaped at the three in front of him.

He remembered a hero in a video game who had faced off against an unbeatable foe; a glorious knight who came to understand that he could never conquer the world-razing dragon before him. After giving his all, and seeing his fate was sealed, the hero had no choice. In a manly show of valor, he’d lifted his chin, closed his eyes, and accepted his impending, gory death.

Yuno's gaze was cold as she raised her arms. Muu had a hungry look in her eyes. Amane clenched her fists, her posture perfect.

It wasn’t a dragon, but Fuuta would argue this was a good deal more dangerous. He lifted his chin and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Get ‘em, girls!”

—

Kotoko approached just as the other girls filed out of Fuuta’s cell. They had giddy looks on their faces. They giggled and whispered in a huddle as they walked around the panopticon.

“Wow, Muu!”

“Haha, I didn’t know you had it in you!”

“That felt amazing…”

Kotoko didn’t know what kind of game they were all playing in there, but Fuuta was in for a big surprise now. The fun was over. Today was the day she acted out her responsibilities as Es’ fang. Today was the day she delivered justice.

She swung the cell door open. Her eyebrows shot up.

Her head whipped around to take a look at the girls, still complementing one another and laughing lightly.

Hell, her work here was already done.

#milgram #yuno kashiki #fuuta kajiyama #muu kusunoki #mahiru shiina #amane momose #mikoto kayano #kotoko yuzuriha #and then he dieded 😔 -- sad!#fuuta stumbles out of shidous cell a few hours later wearing the 'im sorry women' hat #as much as i tried i couldnt picture mappi throwing any punches but shed love to help!!#the girls go to john afterwards to say 'hey youre right beating the shit out of someone really does feel like it solved all my problems'#i originally had kotoko as part of the main group but she actually agrees with him in the timeline convo #so i dont think shed be as angry in the moment - though she supports the others 100%#LMAO thank you this was so funny 😂😂😂#i was so so silly finishing up work and stuff and constantly plotting ways to beat up my fave #drabbles

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laceratedlamiaceae · 1 year

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Pitching an episode called Fuck, Marry, Kill that's just 3 montages of Izzy fucking random guys, Lucius and Pete preparing for their wedding, and Ed and Stede trying to kill each other spliced together

#seriously imagine the comedy potential of a montage of ed and stede trying to kill each other in progressively more ridiculous ways #i know ed kind of tried to kill stede in season 1 before wimping out but that's not enough for me #i need a real earnest murder attempt on both of their parts before i can be insane about them #the b-plot is jim & roach wingmanning izzy while olu and wee john help with the wedding and frenchie tries to stop all the murder #then they all get together at the end and somehow accidentally solve each other's problems #our flag means death #ofmd #izzy hands #lucius spriggs #black pete #lupete #edward teach #stede bonnet #blackbonnet #shitpost #fanfic ideas #(kind of)

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waxdroid · 9 months

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i feel like in the early seasons rimmer and lister's animosity towards each other is more pronounced because the reality that they're never going back to earth hadn't set in yet. they were still holding on to the hope that they'd get out of the whole "stranded in deep space" situation Somehow and would never have to see their annoying colleague again, instead of acknowledging it as the huge & permanent change to their lives that it actually was. maturing + mellowing with age and having no one else to hang out with (besides kryten and cat) for decades definitely helped to turn the hatred into a genuine if reluctant friendship but im still convinced that them accepting the hand they were dealt in regard to the big picture played a huge part in solidifying their relationship

#it went from 'i don't care if im acting like a dick because we'll soon solve this problem and part ways'#to 'we're stuck together till death do us part so we might as well make the most of it'#i love that eventually they stay together by choice even though both of them had multiple opportunities to leave #besides rimmer leaving as ace but its ok he came back after nano!rimmer ate shit (← 100% real and true . doug told me in a dream dw abt it)#red dwarf #☆#this edible is kicking my ass

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yanderespamton78 · 6 days

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Pinup!!!!! the baby!!!! the guy!!!!

sorry if this looks kinda iffy the majority of this was drawn between 11pm and 2:30am so i was very tired loll

also yes that is a totoro bag i dont care if totoro doesnt exist in cyber city he has a totoro bag come at me

Pinup belongs to @turntableart

#read all the tags before you reblog otherwise you will be confused #i feel like i got the body type wrong uaughhh #i feel like the proportions are inaccurate #im blaming it on the clothes i promise the sketch looked good then the clothes went and ruined it #i feel really bad admitting this but now that i think about it i literally never draw chubby characters #all my addisons are pretty long and gangly for the most part and then spamton is just very small in my style hes not really pudgy #and tbh i didnt really draw full bodies very often before addisons and spamton but my one (1) oc was also pretty long and lanky #probably because i myself am pretty long and lanky #ueuugough hauguh #i need to practice more #also i feel like the shoes look weird #im generally not too happy with it but its ok ig #i was terrified of making the features too exaggerated and being offensive and i think i went to much the other way and just made him skinn #ffs #ill draw him again i promise #and it will look better pinky promise #🤙🤙🤙 theres no proper pinky emoji #i love him tho hes cute #i really like his original design #uururuguggg #ugh debating whether i should even post this or if i should keep tinkering with it #im gonna tinker with it a bit more i will continue writing tags when im done #ok tinkering over im much happier with it now #i made him a bit shorter and that solved all my problems #i think i have a habit of drawing characters too tall ngl lmao #also not too happy with the rendering but its good enough #uh im only posting the tinkered version that im happy with so if you want the untinkered version then just ask lol #pixel art #art #turn off the lights arg

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sugar-grigri · 1 year

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You all think Denji has grown up but... isn't it really just an evolution of Fujimoto's style? I mean... the thing about hybrids besides the ability to regenerate is that they don't change! We know it by the contrast between Quanxi's appearance (without any scars or signs of age) and Kishibe, who by the way fell in love because she was the only constant thing around him

Denji... will he really grow up?

#chainsaw man #my thoughts #csm #denji #quanxi #kishibe #csm part 2 #tatsuki fujimoto #I think Fujimoto will solve the problem by killing Denji!#well no hybrids can't die #He will find a way trust him!

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emelinstriker · 7 months

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About those 3 Anon messages recently...

Yes, there's 3 now. Third on came up while I was finishing typing about the 2nd one.

tl;dr context: peeps defending a fictional 2D lego character, questioning the morality of esau (despite the lack of lore context), as well as for some reason a personal attack on me... also smol chinese jesus??? :'D

DISCLAIMER:

I respect y'all's opinions and headcanons and whatnot. It's all valid. However. I expect respect on my own opinions and headcanons return. That's literally all I'm asking.

That's common sense and I will from this point on just delete anyone else's anon asks if they try to argue with me about my standings on these matters mentioned in here. Or this post in general.

There's literally no point in arguing over words written in a story, or debating whether or not pixels on a screen are hot or not.

With that disclaimer being said...

Case 1:

I'm fully aware of the entire discussion thing of Nezha being eternally 12 and all that, but I'm also fully aware of how LMK Nezha is more of a parody on the original. LMK Nezha is more of an adult 2D character who took the characteristics of the source, but then was turned into an aged-up parody.

It's not weird with the context of how things even came to be in the AU. It does involve a form of "infection" that changes those that are infected. In ESAU it's just slightly different from my original story's OCs to appeal more to the Reader. There are people out there who seek comfort in their own superiority complex too, especially if they can never explore that part of themselves normally. If that doesn't appeal to you, that's fine. But don't assume it's weird just because you don't like it if a fictional master/servant relationship isn't for you.

Now, this ask wasn't really bad or directly disrespectful. That was just basic questioning on the general relationship of the AU as well as the LMK Nezha being 12 discussion. So I went to bed, cuz I didn't wanna respond with my rather aggressive response to the topic. Like, I ranted about it to my Discord server, but it was already around midnight and I knew I'd come off as aggressive, despite the logic and facts, if I just copy n pasted the way I phrased the rant. So I went to bed. But then I woke up to an essay in another ask...

Case 2:

I'm assuming this is the exact same person, based on the timeframe and the writing style..? Maybe even the same person who asked that question about whether I'd make Nezha's relationship towards the Reader romantic or platonic..??

For the sake of this entire thing being unworthy of an unnecessary discussion, as well as the fact that the person sending this isn't worth directly responding to if they hide behind an anon face, knowing they would get flamed, I will solely respond to these for my actual viewers, who do enjoy ESAU.

As in, I noticed how almost every single point is easily arguable. Like, they literally just made it up as if every single relationship between the Reader and their champions is romantic. Which couldn't be further from the truth. This is a point I wanna get more into due to how it covers the Master System more. A random anon sending me questions, or rather statements, like this doesn't deserve to get a detailed response to this directly either. My viewers do deserve more insight though. Be it to avoid more people thinking this is automatically grooming, or just to give interested people more lore dump.

To keep it short: Everyone who wants to be a Reader, is a Reader. I myself am a Reader of fiction, which is why I use my persona to fill in the Reader's space in any drawing I do for ESAU. Which is also why Macaque referred to their Master currently being female in that one drawing- Because in that moment, in my drawings, I'm technically seen as their Master.

So when you see the champions swap between their Master using non-binary or female pronouns, this is why. If you see me draw them referring to their Master as a "she", they're referring to basically their current Master in that exact moment. However, literally anyone else can also be placed in that spot.

Whenever I refer to a Reader's reincarnation, I usually mean either "the same person, but another life" OR "different people of the same/a different life". As in, the Reader can imagine themselves having had multiple past lives, or their "past life" is actually another Reader. We're all the Reader. That's why I kept saying the Master System is rather philosophical.

The Reader can imagine themselves if they met their champions as a child or as an adult. However, nothing in ESAU is forced to be romantic or sexual. If you were born as a prince/princess/royalty, that doesn't mean your servants are immediately destined to be romantic or sexual with you, right? That entire portion is up to the Reader to decide and imagine. I do not control what another person thinks of and imagines. If they chose to pick a darker path, the fuck do you want me to do about that? Unless it ends up hurting anyone, or they actively push the topic onto others, I see no issue with however a Reader wants to think up what happens in their life with their servants. All I do is create material for others to play with.

Except for the First Master, any other Reader can be considered either the same person or various people. That's up to the person behind the screen, whether they feel more comforted with one idea or another.

On the Nezha being 12 topic... Do people know what a parody is, I-

LMK Nezha looks more like THIS-

Not as young as THIS-

And he was never said to be 12 years old in LMK. Nor does he look 12, act 12, speak 12, sound 12... LMK needs to be seen and accepted as more like a parody AU of the original story, if that wasn't obvious enough. I find it funny how they brought up my own age though-

Cuz yeah, I'm 21, almost 22, and I do understand the difference between reality's religions, fictional 2D pixels, and the difference between the source and a parody. Wow. Shocker. I know.

Or as I said it in tags earlier today-

Also I'd just like to add… If we go by the theory of specifically LMK Nezha still being 12, despite literally thousands of years having passed, his body being depicted as a fully grown adult in basically every single goddamn aspect of his character within the show… Literally all he got is his paperwork saying he's 12. Like- LMK Nezha would literally just be one of those people that were born on February 29th. Just him not getting any birthdays. Do you assume after literal thousands of years, with his body and mind being mature, and only his paperwork saying he's 12, this dude wouldn't be tryna explore more of himself and his interests, wh-

Like- LMK Nezha isn't the original source Nezha. Simple as that. Just accept it's a parody and be done with it. If you don't agree with it, that's your opinion and I respect that. But don't you dare fucking push that opinion on others who do actually accept the show as a parody and wanna live out their fantasies in said parody.

Your opinion does not mean it's the opinion of others.

Like, the entire age thing in LMK is such a headcanon thing to the point where no one seems to have a solid age, besides maybe MK, who I've seen people calculate his age for due to his driving license and all that. LMK Nezha is confirmed to be depicted as an adult within the show, which is the headcanon I'm going with, regardless of whatever bullshittery people are trying to argue with.

In conclusion: Nezha may be eternally 12 in a story. But that story is NOT Lego Monkie Kid.

On a side note, something I found ironic and funny, is if an aged up character isn't allowed to be sexualized, then I guess if someone ages a character down, suddenly that original source of the character is no longer allowed to be sexualized either, just because that character suddenly has a younger version of themselves. It's not even the younger version that's being sexualized. That literally is the entire logic of this debate on not wanting a fictional character to have an aged up version of themselves.

Good job, nobody wins. I guess nothing can be sexualized at that point- But then again, Rule 34 wouldn't exist then.

Okay, but now this, THIS is where I got REALLY annoyed, cuz NOW we're getting into more personal territory of nitpicking at ESAU. And those who know me are aware of how I go Asian mom mode when my creations, or younger friends and mutuals, are being wrongfully disrespected.

In general, their entire point is a snowflake-behavior nitpick. Branding is also seen as a way to claim ownership over something. The torture part is basically just the pain of it. I could've also just have the champions have one of those toy stamps for lil children be slapped onto them if you really wanna snowflake it all for tHe PrEcIoUs cHilDrEn...

C'mon. I grew up with FNAF and Creepypastas. Which tend to be usually two of the first fandoms I see children get interested in and hyperfixated on. Mentions of brandmarks that have fully healed ain't nothin' at all.

Like, I literally met a boy who was 8ish years old, who was so happy and hyped about FNAF that he asked me to draw Freddy and Bonnie.

Creepypastas also might make one edgy for a while, but they do grow A LOT from it once they leave that phase. So far, everyone I've ever talked to about Creepypastas in the past became such a good person. Because they look back, and recognize morals so much better. They have seen what bad things can happen and we all know where to draw the line between what's fine, and what's not. Nitpicking on LMK Nezha and ESAU doesn't mean anything since it's just that, nitpicking. I know where to draw the line, but this line these people set is a line no one but themselves can imagine.

Show children bits of reality's darker side and they will know how to deal with the knowledge much better and faster as they grow. That wasn't even just about branding, but I'm tired of people saying how we need to keep children safe. Well yeah, keep them safe physically, but they will never fucking grow and become more independent unless you fucking let them think and process the good AND the bad for themselves.

Also on the topic of adding content warnings- Like, the fuck do you want me to even add? Those asks other people sent of the Reader being basically raised by their servants need no warnings, X Readers in general need no warnings, the brandmarks need no warnings cuz they're just there as aesthetic symbols for anyone not invested in the lore, LMK Nezha needs no content warnings-

Literally the only content warning I'd ever need to add is something like gore, which I do admit I didn't add on the ESAU!Nezha X Reader one.

And I'd just like to add a little something that made me raise an eyebrow: They complained about me going against "Wukong's celibacy vows" when they literally admitted to actively looking through the LMK X Reader tag. While that doesn't necessarily mean they would marry or bang Wukong, that means they're at least curious or interested in what a relationship with any of those characters would be like. Which by all means, would not be possible without it being fiction/fanfiction, and without them having some curiosity or interest in the 2D show of LMK.

Like you're literally telling me I'm practically hurting a fictional character's feelings on the matter, but then turn around and try to get with another character.

Fanfiction and AU's are a thing, man. It's all opinions, headcanons, and literally made up shenanigans. And there's nothing wrong with it when it differs from one person to another.

But dumping empty accusations onto me, someone who thinks more logically than emotionally, literally doesn't help your case. Like, you're debating whether or not this 2D character would actually give a shit if someone would wanna bang them cuz they look hot to the other person.

Case 3:

This one just got dropped into my inbox as I finished typing out the last paragraph and just- This is literally just a unnecessary and only somewhat personal hatred thing at this point- But I'm wheezing at the idea of a smol Chinese Jesus-

Bro, as someone who was forced to be Christian on paper, but never gave a shit about it, because Religion doesn't prove anything or form you, I really don't care. And even if that were the case, I wouldn't complain. It's all fiction dammit. You're again, defending pixels on a screen. Besides that, that wouldn't even be the original source character, again. Also in general, honestly, I see any religious story as fiction anyway. Cuz that literally is what a religion is- You put a belief onto someone over a being/a story-

If you're religious, I respect that. But so do you have to respect that I'm not exactly religious myself.

Case 3 was probably the most directly aggressive one of the 3, but also the most unmeaningful one and so unnecessary one... as if that would be the one to prove a point.

Anyway, rant over, I'm done with this.

If I see any other personal hate on me for not sharing the same fucking opinion on such a niche debate, I'll just ignore and delete it all. This is such a pointless topic.

ESAU is supposed to be a comfort zone for those who actually do feel connected to it. If you don't, that's fine, I fully respect it. If people believe Nezha is 12, I respect that. But don't push that onto those who literally are just here to have a nice time away from shit like this. If you wanna "keep the children safe", fucking keep them away from this sort of nowhere-leading discussion topic.

Literally look at Genshin's Twitter Community, this just feels like the exact same type of unnecessary drama I see there.

And no I will not tag these 3 anons. If they respect me enough, they will either just keep quiet or block me and move on. I don't mind. But I refuse to let this bullshit be a whole ass discussion when I'm just trying to have a good time connecting to my viewers after a long day at work. If they look for a fight for some reason, I won't give them one. They can pick someone else for this bullshit, it's not worth my time as it's all OPINION AND HEADCANON-BASED.

And such debates don't end in peace. So I'd rather be the bigger, more mature person and just say "This is the line. Discussion over. We're done here".

Have a nice day, anyone who actually is nice and respectful towards others and their own takes/opinions on things! Weekend's here now tho so y'all ESAU lovers might see some wholesome lil doodles! :D

#lmk esau #eternal servants au #rant #the fact that all 3 are anons tho and 3rd one tells me to respond #but i'm over here still finding the anon part funny #like- easiest way to solve it is to literally just either block me or have me block you. problem solved. i won't change my opinion on thing #or just block the esau tags idk man #usually i wouldn't just say “ignore if you don't like it”#but in this case that's like the only option #this is a nowhere-leading topic that doesn't need to be discussed further #it's just opinion-based bullshittery #if you see nezha as 12 that's fine #if you see nezha as an adult that's also fine #neither side has to push their opinion onto the other #just let us have our fun and we'll let you have your fun. simple. just accept that humans and human minds differ from another.

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bonefall · 1 year

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Snowbird Ann here: x_x I have Fennel growing in my front yard. That stuff...it tastes like black licorice and it's stringy like celery. But when it goes dormant, it leaves stalks that would be great building materials. Med cat/builders could get a fresh stalk, soak it in water to make it bendy and shape it into whatever. If I remember I'll go out and snap a picture of the dormant Fennel tomorrow.

Fennel is actually suuuuuuuuper useful for dozens of reasons. It's related to parsley and has been naturalized all over the world because humans find it so useful.

The cats could use it for:

-Funerals This herb can be STINKY. This could absolutely be one of the funeral herbs that elders rub onto the deceased, especially since it's non-toxic.

-Cooking It's full of fiber meaning it can be a good supplement even for cats, if not consumed in excess. It's also got potassium, manganese, calcium... They can't taste sweet but that licorice-y flavor would come across just fine. It's actually used in sausages a lot.

-Alcohol If your Warriors drink responsibly. And know how to distill. Mead made from honey would still be easier but fennel was used for health tonics in the middle ages... and then eventually got used to make absinthe.

-Insect repellent This one's actually huge because the OTHER big bad bug buster is mint... and all mint is toxic to cats. This is a really good non-toxic insect repellent for warriors next to lavender.

-"Toothpaste" Not like, a PASTE but, a sort of... sticky mouthwash poultice. Fennel's actually super good for oral health, eliminates bad breath, and fights plaque buildup; and remember, Our Friends Mint & Co is toxic to cats. You can make it into an oil and help a warrior with a gum problem. It's especially good at fighting streptococcus, which is one of the most common infectious bacteria in wild cats.

-General medicinal purposes Helping clean eye infections is just one medicinal use, fennel is useful for all sorts of ailments. It's anti-inflammatory, it's antibacterial (but not as good as honey), can help with digestion...

Historically it's also been associated with helping to treat colic in babies and estrogen-related issues like menopause and milk production, which is actually NOT proven with modern studies... but I think the idea is just cool enough to hand wave the science away, I would use it just to have an herb for colicky kits. It's weird that colic has never shown up in canonical kits before!

But...

Building use?

Probably not. You've noticed it's stringy-- that's actually where fennel gets its name. Fennel = Foenum = Latin for Hay. It's more like hay in consistency than twine and would be too soft to build with.

For strong material, you're just gonna want plain old wood. Twigs, branches, anywhere you can find fennel you're also going to find bushes or trees that'll make better beams.

For twine? Skip the fennel entirely with its short stalks and just get some tall grass. Or, if you've got long-haired cats, they can make yarn out of shed fur if they collect enough of it. Better yet, if you've got access to flax? Then you're REALLY cooking with fire, that bad boy can be made into fabric, rope, clothing... Don't even get me STARTED on industrial hemp, you could weave reality itself out of that popstar. Paper, clothes, canvas, shampoo, lamp oil, rope, bombs, you want it? It's YOURS my friend--

Anyway

TL;DR stick to the herbal uses for fennel. You're better letting dormant fennel re-grow because it's better in the paws of your medcats than your warriors.

#gonna get me monologuing about fennel over here #fennel #fennel uses #Clan Culture #Warrior Cats #Clan Herbs #Medicine cats #BY THE WAY I always tag stuff like this as Clan Culture #Anything I do that's a sort of ''Here's how Warrior Cats could use this thing'' post I tag it as clan culture #I do have other posts like this if you guys ever want references for fanclans #Also this is absolutely why my favorite parts of warriors are always problem solving segments #Yessss Sandgorse talk to me about digging #I want to know about how you shore up the walls of your tunnels and about the benefits of hitting a clay seam #My ideal WC super edition is me being beamed between Brackenfur and Dustpelt as they reinforce the nursery for the 100th time #The rest of the fanbase would be in hell but I would be in heaven #I could ascend to StarClan happy #I would reinforce their nursery up there

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