#princeforhire

[aohendo]

Prince for Hire Deleted Scene: Part 12

Amount Deleted: 343 words

Reason for Deleting: was working on setting up the kidnapped sorcerers thing (relevant with Batar's story-line and then a bit later with a recurring inquisitor who would make a fantastic drinking buddy), but this is still first half. Focus needs to remain on Prince Thaav, rather than the chaos that Kiris is resolutely ignoring.

Ways to fix: continue emphasizing Kiris' blinding loyalty to Prince Thaav, and continue deleting or winnowing those bits which don't support that. Other plot points should be hinted at and set up, but not emphasized.

Excerpt length: 343

Context: It's Kiris' first night in the Turre's Tesendi fortress - his first night surrounded by legit enemies - and while working out his plan to save Prince Thaav, he gets distracted by torn-out confession journal pages, which contain the last remnants of their owners' souls.

I'll be getting around to updating the WIP intro in a short eventually, so keep an eye out.

As for taglist: since it has been a hot minute since I was last actively posting, please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed to/from the taglist. @whimsyqueen @on-noon @houndsofcorduff @stuffaboutwriting @shrunkupthejams

Kiris was sure that if he were within Prince Thaav’s quarters, he would find the old prince snoring loudly enough to shake Tesendi’s walls. As it was, he could only hear their snapping soul, see it in flickers of sunshine yellow through the haze of ryd, and imagine its warmth. He knew where they were. He didn't know about the journals’ owners. Kiris listened behind him for the guards and found them safely distributed between their chambers and the living quarters, and braced himself against his desk. The pages fluttered like slaughtered things beneath him.

Carefully, Mahehv as a fluttering, scarlet anchor, he lead the realms thinner. Beyond and before Prince Thaav: their fellow princes, servants, and guards. Walls. Turre dead—long dead. Servants like Verosa hustling about in oddly narrow halls.

Farther.

Prince Ysiik, awake. In her quarters, however, and not near Prince Thaav’s: no concern tonight. Those other Prince Thaav-irritated princes, asleep.

Farther.

Ta Ritasa in his quarters, with company. Kiris moved by swiftly.

‘L Tuola in hers, the same dead soul which covered her quiver in crystalline clarity next to her bedside. Within her bed, Kiris corrected, and then moved even faster from her. Downwards.

Aathriok’s parent, weeping on the unyielding floor of the dining hall. Weeping, pulling towards Empathy and singing of dolorous bells, tolling and crying and—

Mahehv twitched against his neck.

—farther.

The green sanctuary goddess, barely existing under the Currents’ skies. Somehow surviving. Her hunger was like cracking ice, her desperation like drums, her—

Farther.

Here.

Polarized fear.

Studies, and restraints.

His people.

When Kiris withdrew from ryd, it beat into his body and collapsed him under his desk, Prophecy pounding for release and promising relief. When he could feel Mahehv’s claws again over his own pain; when he could hear it chirping and its feathers rustling over the lives of countless people and innumerable things; when he could open his eyes and see solid outline; when he could think again, he realized by choosing not to be oblivious, he’d taken a bathtub to his ‘save Prince Thaav’ plan.

#fun fact! my stuff I deleted document for 2023 was 118943 words long and most of that was from Prince #my stuff I deleted document this year is currently a measly 6000 words. All of that is from Prince. #I'm hoping I can add at least 15000 more words to that from Prince alone (preferably 30k but hey I'd rather a goal I can dream of) #princeforhire #pfh deleted scenes #deleted scene #editing #fantasy #writblr #writeblr #writerblr

[aohendo]

Writblr Intro (Round 2)

Hey, everyone! Figured it was time to update my intro.

Call me Hendo, she/her, early twenties. I write fantasy, science-fiction, and sometimes horror, all with an emphasis on characterization over plot. In my longer manuscripts, there are always dragons, a casually queer cast, and at least one explosion.

I'm happy to do beta swaps under 15k, or honestly even longer depending on what my work schedule is that week. Said work schedule varies between "I'm basically on paid vacation for the next month" to "oh shit oh shit oh shit" without much warning, so, uh, yeah.

Tag and ask games are always welcome. If you ever just want to pop by and chat, maybe to say hi, maybe to work out a sticky plot thread, maybe to talk characters or editing, I'm here for it!

My WIPs

Let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist for anything.

Reverberate | new-adult | complete, 124k | researching agents

A young special ops soldier sets out to find and kill the shareholders who murdered her family, but revenge becomes complicated when she discovers her brother imprisoned in a facility universally infamous for its mental reprogramming.

found-family/family as a choice, introspective narration, stoicism, revenge, space roombas

WIP intro | tag: attenuate/reverberate

Prince for Hire | new-adult | draft 3, 110k | doing a paper edit

A prophetic con-artist is tricked into becoming a prince and entering a conquering empress' Competition to rule the region.

rags-to-riches, learning to forgive, first steps of romance/learning to trust, magic causes more problems than it solves

WIP intro | Comic Sans intro | tag: princeforhire, pfh editing, pfh d2, pfh d3

Tyrant for Sale (working title) | new-adult | drafting, projected 100k

An assassin, a prophet, and a golden-boy prince, and their attempts to overthrow the assassin's father's tyrannical empire

Dunno what it'll feature yet but there does seem to be a wyvern, massive trust issues, and an old prophet's cave?

No WIP intro yet | tag: princeforhire2

#writblr #writblr intro #writeblr intro #reintroduction #hendo rambles #not? writing #princeforhire #princeforhire2 #attenuate/reverberate

[aohendo]

Last Line Tag

Tagged by @oh-no-another-idea!

From Prince, regarding one of Nelovskevouk’s mentors.

-

“Then you must have known I would challenge him publicly.”

“No,” Kiris said, leaning forwards. “I never thought you would kill him, I—“

“You what?” Nelovskevouk asked, mirroring Kiris’ position. “What did you expect me to do?”

“I thought you would take him aside like you would have me.”

-

Tagging: @kyofsonder @on-noon @ahordeofwasps and @cljordan-imperium, and leaving it open!

#princeforhire #tag game #updates from the shack #last line tag

[aohendo]

Find the Word Tag

Tagged by @eccaiia !

Tagging in turn (and, as always, open tag): @avrablake @on-noon and @starscribes

Your words are: love, praise, affection, and hug.

My words were find, seek, scour, and search. From Prince for Hire (which I really ought to rewrite the intro for, and maybe update the PowerPoint):

Find:

Kiris drummed his fingers on the frigid window and chewed his lip. He could do this. He needed to do this. “I need anything you can find on medicinal Waters studies, anything on potions known to cause death and their antidotes, and Nazvili’s notes on the princes in Competition from Kauvo, Virkii, and Kasikir. His fingers chilled with each tap. “I also need to know the contents of Kysminov Evina’s drawers.”

Seek:

Nelovskevouk ought to kill him for his lies, and every moment they interacted in public bubbled more and more nervous anticipation, thrill-seeking, in Kiris’ limbs. Yet, somehow, those nerves evaporated when they were in private. When it was just the two of them.

Scour:

“A Temple is a strange place for a prince to be raised,” Batar said. Kiris jerked back. “Temples, damnation, and a prince vakon-no wonder everyone scours your legitimacy records. Does Nazvili know of how you would curse Strauv?”

Search:

Kiris bowed again, heart pounding, cursing Ta Ritasa in all the languages he knew. “An inquisition,” he said, “for the peasant among us.”

#tag game #princeforhire #updates from the shack #find the word

[aohendo]

Thinking of finally making character introductions. Whoever's first-half dialogue bit wins gets the first one... once I figure out a format I like.

#princeforhire #not? writing #choose me a character please

[aohendo]

hiii!! it's been a while! hope you're doing well :)

idk how new it is but i like the prince for hire banner!! i gasped so loud when i saw it (AND THE BOOTS ON IT) on your recent prince for hire deleted scenes post lol

@shrunkupthejams!! Life is good :) Hope it is for you, too!

And yes!! Banners!!!! @daisywords made them for me a bit ago, and they're fantastic. She nailed the colors and images and font and yeah. Any opportunity to use? 10/10 taking it.

#hendo rambles #not? writing #princeforhire

[aohendo]

Prince for Hire Deleted Scenes: Part 13

Amount Deleted: 8k? thereabouts (1 half-formed chapter + 1/3rd of the following chapter, + most of another chapter which'll probably get added back in but was in the wrong spot and I haven't determined if there's a right spot yet)

Reason for Deleting: the deleted chapter could be condensed into a few paragraphs and the information, overall, completely redistributed and better integrated into the story. The third of the following chapter was then covered by the newly integrated stuff. That following chapter also received major rearrangement due to the focus being completely scattered.

Ways to fix: cut and paste, cut and paste, delete. Really: determine scene-level focus, then chapter-level focus, restructure this storyline's mini-arc (to include rearranging chapters), and combine/condense to keep the plot moving.

Excerpt length: 487

Context: Kiris needs to eliminate one of Prince Thaav's enemies, and thinks sending Iiriok at him is the best way about it (he's not wrong...)

Taglist (please let me know if you'd like to be added/removed!): @whimsyqueen @on-noon @houndsofcorduff @stuffaboutwriting @shrunkupthejams

“Nelovskevouk,” Kiris said, loud enough he was sure ni Musyr could overhear. Verosa refilled his tea. A different type, this time: lavender. “What would you do if you discovered a prince had sinned?”

Nelovskevouk nearly choked on his next sip of coffee. He hid it by clearing his throat—which is to say, not at all—and by taking another large sip to clear the crud. His brow slowly rose.

Innocently, Kiris rolled his mug between his palms. Ni Musyr glowered at them. At him.

“Why do you ask?” Nelovskevouk eventually said, when Kiris wasn’t forthcoming with more information, too preoccupied with not making eye contact with ni Musyr. It was all consuming. Whatever he’d done to piss her off—or whatever Nazvili had done—he wasn’t even sure he wanted to know. “Yphant?”

“Answer him, vakon,” ni Musyr ordered.

Kiris wished he couldn’t feel the blood draining from his face. The collective of princes was easier to face than her. Even the inquisitors—at least he knew why they hated him. “I… may or may not have overheard another prince—” it was like being ground by a glacier—“doing things?”

“Really?” Her eyes narrowed, and she leant forwards, and Kiris, again, leant back. Not so far that he tilted over his chair this time. “What sorts of things?”

This wasn’t his plan. Her involvement was not in his plans, except as witness. Nelovskevouk’s, yes. Let him eliminate Tevez for a prince’s sin. He was reliable, Kiris and Nelovskevouk’s younger sister, Kuthri, the only exceptions Kiris knew of. But ni Musyr? He didn’t know her. He didn’t know what she would do.

It was almost thrilling.

“Desiccation,” Kiris lied.

Nelovskevouk spun in his seat, and Kiris found himself quite suddenly bearing the brunt of the entirety of his attention. He had lovely eyes. This was already turning into a very tiring day.

“Who?” Nelovskevouk demanded.

For some reason, Kiris didn’t particularly want to look away from him. Ni Musyr was like being ground down, pummeled and pulverized, an unrelenting pressure. Nelovskevouk… wasn’t.

Prince Thaav would die soon.

Kiris glanced at Tevez.

“One of Prince Thaav’s enemies,” ni Musyr said. Smiled. “One of your allies, Pretty Boy. Curious.”

Nelovskevouk ignored her. He leant into Kiris’ space, and Kiris resisted the urge to pull away, too many people, too close to his space, easy to grab, this was fine, it’d be fine—

“You’re certain?” Nelovskevouk whispered. “First Prince Tevez has never been anything but decent and wise, in all the years I’ve known him. Did you… did you mishear?”

He smelled like flowers. Soaps, not the sharp scent of perfume. Sweat, too: those two weeks Kiris had spent in the Dargoulvga palace, helping Nelovskevouk with Kuthri, every morning he’d practiced on the training grounds; perhaps it did the same here. Weapons—yes—but sometimes, dance.

Iiriok Nelovskevouk was an excellent dancer.

“I know what I heard,” Kiris whispered.

#the real magic of prince is how few times i've misspelled 'Nelovskevouk' #'iiriok' is much easier to type but kiris doesn't start calling him that until much later #'kiris' also more often than not ends up as 'kriis' #pfh edits #princeforhire #pfh deleted scenes #writblr #writerblr #fantasy

[aohendo]

There’s such a difference between late stage Kiris and early Kiris and I’d very much prefer to be working with late stage Kiris but alas. I must edit him to there, first

#princeforhire #writing #editing #ugh

[aohendo]

Prince for Hire Editing Update!

A small songbird named Mahehv has now become a key character. Coincidentally, Kiris has discovered necromancy (terms and conditions apply).

I promise this is not as horror-y as it sounds.

#princeforhire #pfh d3 #pfh editing update #writing #editing #editing updates

[aohendo]

🌈 [Rainbow] If at the beginning of your WIP the characters knew about the end, would they kill you to stop you from writing it?

Hello my friend! Happy Tuesday.

Rainbow: actually, probably not! Kiris would be dismayed by how he gets to the end, but the end itself he’d actually be weirdly okay with. Likewise with Iiriok. Batar, on the other hand, probably would kill me had she the option. It does not work out in what she thinks is her favor.

From this ask game here:

#princeforhire #ask game #updates from the shack

[aohendo]

For the random wip ask game, [pen], [heart], and [meat]!

Hello, hello! Thanks for the ask, @ahordeofwasps :)

🖋️ [Pen] Describe your WIP in a single, terrible sentence.

Prophetic conartist is bad at propheting and also bad at conartisting. Meanwhile, the invading empire is very good at empiring.

💖 [Heart] What is your favorite moment in this WIP?

Pretty much the entire unwilling rags to riches sequence in the first quarter, tbh. The character causing that arc to happen is a hoot to write. After that, the scenes after the midpoint with Kiris and Iiriok finally talking to each other, properly.

🍖 [Meat] How many fictional people were harmed in the making of this WIP?

ALL of them. (Actually though, only some 30 princes and three principalities. Not as bad as the last project, at least!)

#princeforhire #updates from the shack #ask game

[aohendo]

Prince for Hire D2 updates:

25 Dec: Did a complete read through, not changing anything except spelling mistakes/similarly minor goofs. Noted the lag areas. Set markers in my timeline for where it felt like each act ended. Started working on listing open questions-closed questions (tension shortcut), especially for the first half.

26 Dec: ctrl-f’d for my triangle brackets to find the “insert conversation about xyz here” notes--found 10 instances (not including continuity, beats, etc.); starting to work through those today.

#princeforhire #I'm gonna keep updating this as I go #pfh editing #<- the tag to block if you don't want to see any of this stuff #novel editing #second draft #writing #wip

[aohendo]

Prince for Hire - Draft One Complete

Well, all, my estimate of done by the new year was apparently too generous! Just finished up this first draft of Prince for Hire. Some stats for you!

Taglist (and let me know if you’d like to be added/removed--will be posting a lot of deleted scenes during editing): @whimsyqueen, @on-noon, @cactusmotif, @paradisiacalshroud, @houndsofcorduff, @stuffaboutwriting, @t-lane-writes

Original estimated word count: 80,000

Actual word count: 136,420

Current word count of stuff I deleted: 50,913

Average words per day (including deleted scenes): 965

Date started: 14 June 2022

Date ended: 24 December 2022

Total time with document open: 3147 hours

Chapter count: 45 + 1

Adherence to originally created blurb and WIP intros: sketchy at best

Kiris hugs received: 1

#princeforhire #first draft done #still two very messy scenes which got hit with placeholder triangles #but that's a problem for after gumbo #y'all have been great #I'll keep posting as I work on refining this thing and maybe bringing it back down to 100k max! #writblr #writeblr #writerblr #wip #draft one #fantasy #cheers to the year's end!

[aohendo]

Find the Word!

Tagged by @eccaiia a few days ago!

My words were halt, hot, hole, half (cw: gore), and hurl.

Tagging: @ahordeofwasps, @avrablake, @vacantgodling, @daisywords, @italiangothicwriteblr, and an open tag!

Your words are blow, bluster, bluff, bellow, and below.

Halt

The water gates to the palace’s bay had been left unlocked, but Kiris’ discomfort at that little factoid paled in comparison to the summer-meadow figure posted at the dock. Nazvili’s swordsman held an oil lamp, flickering yellow in the thin fog, and Kiris halted the bathtub well out of reach of the man. The swordsman had lifted him like he weighed the same as a kitten. He had controlled him with the same effort it took to draw his sword.

“Who are you?” Kiris demanded, across the water.

“Aris of Krigover, your grace.”

Hot

“Do you hear any gods here?” Batar hissed, her dagger, hot, blistering the fraud’s neck. “I see none. Your words will be in Zavorr, your songs will be in Zavorr, your thoughts will be in Zavorr. Who is your master?”

The fraud began the poem again.

Hole

Kiris looked up. Ovria and all the other Boyars were watching him as if a stage play. Nazvili wasn’t. Nazvili, more than anyone else, knew what this meant.

No more freedom.

Kiris’ breath stalled. Those stolen coins suddenly weighed the same as Miridin’s moose, and his lock pick kit could have burned a hole through his tunics. No more—

“Prince na Suem?”

Half (cw: gore)

Duvutriok Vuun drew his sickle-sword and slit the western prince from shoulder to thigh. He cut off one of their hands and caught it in an oil-cloth, then bowed to head table. Kiris couldn’t look away, half-deafened in the torrent of the western prince’s affiliation bursting from their body just as much as lifeblood and organs flopped onto the wood floor.

“Would ‘L Tuola care for a memento for the occasion?”

Hurl

N/A (first one in a while—nice!)

Fun fact instead: the previous paragraph is the reader’s first introduction to Prince Duvutriok Vuun the Curator, First Prince of Cysev. Fun guy, to say the least. He is keen to add Kiris' head to his collection, but only if he can somehow knock Kiris into Prophecy at the same time (he likes the blue of Kiris' magic and wants it to fill Kiris' eyes).

#princeforhire #pfh d2 #tag game #open tag #find the word #fantasy #writblr #writeblr #writerblr

[aohendo]

Happy Blorbsday! (to be answered anytime on any day because every day is blorbsday)

How have you been? I have been missing you and dear Kiris on my dash.

What kind of horrors has he been facing lately? Please feel free to go off about any OC thoughts that have been plaguing you or any trauma you have been inflicting on our favorite sad boy.

Happy Blorbsday!!

Life is certainly life 😅 Good and busy and nothing bad, just a lot. Expecting to get even busier over the next few months, too, so that's gonna be.... fun.

(It will be it's just I also like sleep).

Kiris, oh Kiris. This poor guy.

About two weeks ago, went back and blocked out all my ideas on how to fix Prince's plot: there's a few scenes to add, a few to rearrange, and a handful to cut, but Disney princess necromancy has solved all the issues! Into the fourth draft of it, now, which after a SPAG pass will be the version I send out to a first round of beta readers. My guesstimate is I'll be searching for people for that starting mid-late July!

The current horror Kiris facing today is *gasp* tea with 'L Tuola the empress. Doesn't sound terrible on the surface, but there's casually another prince being eaten by a hawk in the background, Ta Ritasa the advisor is being generally creepy, and 'L Tuola makes it very clear what she'll do to find the Prophet (who may or may not be trying to casually sip his tea (which also isn't really tea and Kiris hates it) across from her) and that she knows about Kiris' magic. Also some more set up stuff for the 'L Tuola/necromancy plot line, which Kiris is beginning to steadily really not appreciate even though he's pretty sure said necromancy is the only way to save his mentor from... one of his own prophecies.

In the span of the next two chapters after this, poor guy's gonna have two separate murder attempts on him and he's going to fail to save his mentor--the only person who's ever really cared about him. Shortly thereafter, Ta Ritasa begins finding ways to force magic from Kiris (guy's about to get wrung like a sponge 😬), a principality gets destroyed (and it's mostly Kiris' fault), and we begin the 'there's a fraud among us!' plotline. Not to mention the Turre getting even creepier, or Duvutriok coming around with various princes' heads, or all Batar's blackmail, or Iiriok trying to be friendly and compassionate (but clearly, obviously, he must have some further angle to it...)

Kiris just wants to hide under his bed. I'm really just hitting him with a baseball bat at this point, poor dude. Does not deserve this treatment.

I promise, these are all necessary steps in getting him his hug, though!

The goal for this draft is no more than 110k. That should be a fairly easy 10k to shave off during line edits, and 100k is a really nice spot for fantasy right about now. If I really had to in those future line edits I could probably get it even shorter (looking at Reverberate, which I somehow knocked from 123k down to 111k, but I genuinely don't know how), but I don't want to. Once I get to the halfway mark in about 2.5 chapters, I'm gonna go ahead and rewrite the tentative query letter for this thing--I've learned my lesson from Reverberate: it's much easier to do the query letter before the final draft, so that'll be a nice pause to get my thoughts in order.

How's everything with you? Haven't been around much lately (which is a shame, because I do miss popping in and seeing where everyone else is at with their projects and OCs. Gotta get back on that...)

#princeforhire #pfh edits #blorbo blursday #pfh d4

[aohendo]

Updated map of Avgor (formerly the Novgor Plateau)! Fixed all principality names, locations, etc.

Prince for Hire begins in Strauv (north of Msvoulga) and mostly takes place in what's labelled Scanria (east of Orukov). Kiris is originally from Cym, Iiriok is from Dargoulvga, Batar is from Msvougla, and Prince Thaav is from Voronin.

For scale, the Avgor region (Trovund to Cym to Msvoulga; does not include Aghran, Musmiel, or the Turre) is roughly the size of India.

Tentatively thinking to start every other chapter with a one paragraph bio on a select prince. There's more than enough to go around, that's for sure!

Made with Azgaar

Prince for Hire Taglist (ask to be added/removed):

@whimsyqueen, @on-noon, @cactusmotif, @paradisiacalshroud, @houndsofcorduff, @stuffaboutwriting, @t-lane-writes

#princeforhire #princeforhire2 #pfh worldbuilding #fantasy map #writblr #not? writing