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gazingatmydoom · 3 months

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i think i actually went through the five stages of grief just now finishing one shot. or. one sec

ok not all five but i definitely hit at least three, maybe four of them. counting. like. oneshot is a fucking amazing game but i'm also gonna talk about DEPRESSION AS WELL WHAMO

long vent post below the cut idm if u read it but it's super long lol so yeah

cos like. that was the most. mm. it was the most difficulty i've had making a descsion that i was involved in emotionally. ig the ending of oneshot was like pretty much 100% "how much do u care about this vs this" thing so like entirely emotionally charged but idk it had me yk. and i was sitting on the toilet taking a whizz as one does after condemning ur best friend catperson ever forever to an eternal life in a world they don't belong to. and i was thinking right, that's probably the saddest i've felt playing a game since i finished titanfall 2 in early 2020. estimating. might've been 2019 idk. and now i don't remember if i played any other particularly sad games between tf|2 and oneshot but i doubt i didn't and if i'm running on things i'm assuming about the depression i'm assuming i had (which i am) then memory loss was a big part of it. cos i god damned do not remember fuck shit ass from the past few years. and i was thinking hey MAYBE the reason i haven't been that sad about any game (in memory) is because i was simply too depressed to give a rats ass.

i mean there's one game ig which is hollow knight and i felt sad when i got the sealed siblings ending but. if i'm being honest alot of the strong emotions i had with that game felt very forced. that's one thing i can remember quite well actually and no i don't know why, but when i felt sad when i watched the siblings curl up and go back down to the bottom of the abyss, it felt like i was trying to push my heart down it didn't feel like it was sinking on it's own.

ok the more i'm talking about it the more i'm thinking i'm bullshitting but idk. idk! the idea that i had depression and quite possibly might still have it is takign over my mind everytime i react with alot of emotion to something. which is happening at an increased rate in the past few months, and has barely happened at all in the past three years.

it makes me think ig. like i got mad at niko and the author and the entity for making *me* make this decision, when in my opinion, it really should've been niko's to make. and i somehow thought niko was going to make it! i was so sure they would i was like ye ok niko ima break this to u and then i need u to sit and think about it and i need u to know i will support u no matter WHAT u choose it's ok and i love u. and then they're like "what should i do bestie?" AS IF THAT'S MY DECISION TO MAKE????? it caught me off guard yk and i didn't cry or scream or freak out but i'd be lying if i said it made me think and feel in ways that feel new or fresh, but not brand new just like ahh i forgot what this was like new. if i ever felt them at all.

i swear sometimes it does feel like the second i gained any ability to think somewhat for myself (which sounds stupid but trust me this was mid teens for me) i started spiralling. so idk yk. i lost where i was going with this uuuuhhhhhhhh. but who cares. this is a vent post(?) so it doesn't matter if i finish it. that word keeps coming up tho i don't wanna say it again. the depress. the deps. depths. dark souls. i keep thinking of it. it keeps coming back to me and bouncing around my head like "hey maybe *this* is why what ur feeling or thinking or doing rn feels super weird and alien to u" cos that feeling keeps coming back yk. i can feel it coming back less and less in past days tho and that's not to say i'm getting used to experiencing new things but it might be to say i'm sinking back down. not sure tho!

just added a read more link idk if it worked i've never used one before but it just struck me how long this post is now lmao and i don't wanna bother the two people who might see this.

but ye shit has been wild and by that i mean crazy and by that i mean i've begun feeling emotions again and it's been fucking me up to varying degrees! side not like dungeon meshi has made me cry everytime a new episode comes out i fucking like. like yes it's good but it's also me being passionate about something. the last thing i was passionate about i would say was hollow knight i used to cry all the time watching silksong trailers and listening to the bonebottom ost sample but i tell u when that was. that stopped happening around mid 2020. yo am i dating my depression rn. early to mid 2020 that must've been it that must've been the start. which makes sense cos i think that was also when i left college and therefore stopped going outside at all ever. i got a job about a year after but it was shit and i hated it and i cried at work so i quit. found a new one a month or so later and i'm still there today. they're good there and i like it. it's still the only reason i go out which i don't think is healthy but. it's something. i was invited out for activites earlier today and i said yes. that's another first in a long time that was the first yes i've given in fucking ages. i don't think i have anything to wear oh christ. i need to buy some clothes. god. ok getting into personal life more than personal feelings and that's not what i want to include on this blog. we talk about FEELINGS here not EVENTS.

but ye uh. ig to conclude depression (if i ever had it (i'm only saying that cos i was never officially diagnosed i'm like 99% sure it was there)) i forgot where this sentence was going. ig to conclude, depression. yeah. stay hydrated kids

#bwomp

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zeptos · 9 months

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hi. i just finished good omens. here are my (not very) immediate (because i had to take about two hours to recover) thoughts

i was at a friend’s house watching so i had to drive home. we watched two episodes every session (i Needed to drag it out that long otherwise it would destroy me) and i would always come out of it listening to some sort of happy little music that reminded me of the show. today i drove home, front windows all the way down, in the dark, in complete silence. there were crickets.

I ACTUALLY FEEL SO GOOD AND PROUD AND GLAD ABOUT NOT SEEING ANY SPOILERS!!! somehow i really care about this show That Much and i blocked everything, didn’t go on social media, checked with my eyes before reading something with my brain LIKE i didn’t wait four years for this all to be donezo

if i had seen the leak beforehand i would have ended it all

like me when jim and window.

SPEAKING OF JIM BRUH (i will speak about him later)

i was drawing a silly little picture of Them when i started watching this season. after six days i have not finished it and only have the lineart. I CANNOT DRAW THAT SILLY LITTLE PICTURE ANYMORE. LIKE. MENTALLY. NO i will just be in flames!!!

i will be going through the stages of grief for the next few days. i went through anger and bargaining and now i will be in depression (lucky for me i literally just upped my med dose LMAOOOOO)

this is just like falsettos

I’M REALLY GLAD ACTUALLY that nina and maggie are on pause!! like i was honestly pretty worried throughout the season that they’d just shove them together at a horrible time and i was quite sure

but now i’m thinking about it more and AAAAAAAAAA the parallels and all of their flaws…😭😭😭them and all their flaws……….IT’S NOT LIKE A PICTURESQUE PERFECT FAIRYTALE!!! THEY DON’T RECOGNIZE IT BECAUSE IT’S NOT A PICTURESQUE PERFECT FAIRYTALE!!!!!!!!!!! TALK TO EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god flaws bastille

i cried during The Scene and by that i mean a few tears came out before i held it in to be able to actually watch the rest of the episode and i demanded my friend and i rewatch the scene because i really REALLY NEEDED TO CRY AFTER THAT I WANTED TO SO BAD however my eyes became constipated and it just pressurized my head and neck 😔

I HAD LITERALLY JUST WATCHED THE COMMUNITY EPISODE WHERE TROY LEAVES TOO WHILE WORKING OUT THIS MORNING!!!!!!!!!!! horrible day for media consumption for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWFUL

unrelated but i *still* haven’t seen barbenheimer bc no one in my friend group can make a decisive plan (i <3 u guys tho) and i’m going to

need a rage room (diy bc those guys are way too expensive) because i am going insane

neil has ended me

neil needs to be convicted for mass murder

WHAT HAPPENED TO QUIET ROMANTIC SEASON

i actually really love LOVE LOVE how this season went…………..or at least ended…………….

i was scared that “quiet and romantic” meant nothing was going to happen and there would be no buildup to whatever “quiet and romantic” was and that would’ve broken me in a bad way

like i did not spend four years waiting just for tooth rotting fluff and heartstopper esque “suspense” (i’m so sorry i’ve never seen it this is probably so wrong) to tide us over until the next season where everything goes wrong again

I WANT THINGS TO GO WRONG ALL THE TIME. (AND THEN THEY MAKE THEM RIGHT THEY MAKE THEM RIGHT THEY MAKE THEM RIGHT PLEASE)

also the maggie thing!!

I ABSOLUTELY ADORE EVERYYYYY SINGLEEEE WRITING AND ACTING CHOICE IN THAT SCENE IT’S SO DELICIOUS OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD i would watch it for days and days and days I LOVE HOW SOMETHING AS SWEET AS A KISS BECOMES . SO. BITTER AND DESPAIR AND HATRED AND LOVE AND LOATHING AND AND AND THEY A. THEY ARE SO. I THINK DEEP DOWN HE MIGHTVE KNEW IT WAS HIS FINAL CHANCE…………………HIS ONLY CHANCE………………………………………………………

THE DISGUST THE BETRAYAL THE MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGHGGHHGHGHGHG

also the lip touch. twitter user michael sheen was evil for that stunt he pulled (i only heard about it from another friend after i finished watching and immediately called them to scream) (i also sent a no-context message to that same friend saying something along the lines of “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” and they immediately clocked me “i see you’ve watched the final episode of good omens season 2”)

bottom line: tumblr user zeptos rediscovers that they just keep liking pain and suffering. please send help

crowley was simply entirely fanfiction. this entire season was just fanfiction. like i guess that makes sense given the everything about its creators. and also the premise of the whole show is basically fanfiction LOL both in trope and subject matter

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT AT SOME POINT. CROWLEY FELL AND HE FELL SO HARD LIKE aziraphale was GIVING early on and then at some point he fell harder

i was looking at temporary red hair wax literally yesterday (for mcr reasons help………..) and now i feel like i . have to get it now i have to i just need to i need it

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT AT SOME POINT. CROWLEY FELL AND HE FELL SO HARD LIKE aziraphale was GIVING early on and then at some point he fell harder

i was looking at temporary red hair wax literally yesterday (for mcr reasons help………..) and now i feel like i . have to get it now i have to i just need to i need it

eating my feet and the walls and biting aziraphale’s head off like broccoli and chewing it up and spitting it out in the little leaves . and also burning it i need to BURN SOMETHING

to think i was just happy about getting the rift in dragonvale earlier today

to think i was just normal earlier today

i was so happy dragging this out

i think i’m even more devastated

to think for the first few days i was going insane about the apology dance. the good old days. and then the next few days i was stressed about crowley shooting his husband.

tbh i thought it was a good enough love story the first season (arospec represent ig lmao) and i didn’t realize it could get EVEN MORE LOVEY. LIKE i did not know a love story could haunt you with love in so many ways I THOUGHT THEY’D ALREADY JUST BEEN MARRIED FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS IN SUCH A TRANSCENDENTAL WAY THAT THEY DIDN’T NEED ANYTHING ELSE AND THEY KNEW EACH OTHER SO WELL……………………………so how am i supposed to feel when they ACTUALLY DIDN’T REALLY COMMUNICATE AT ALL AND IT WASN’T JUST OKAY FOR IT TO BE UNSPOKEN AND ETERNAL AND THEY HAVE TO ACTUALLY WORK OUT THEIR PROBLEMS INSTEAD OF BREAKING UP A MILLION TIMES AND HAVING THE UNIVERSE WORK IT OUT FOR THEM AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHGHGHGHHHHH

…like how am i supposed to feel when they actually aren’t in some sort of magical relationship where everything can remain unspoken and everything is great. and instead they’re HAVING HUMAN FEELINGS PINING LIKE HUMANS MISUNDERSTANDING LIKE HUMANS FLAWED LIKE HUMANS

LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN they can’t just stay like that [read: whatever the hell they were for thousands fo years] forever and ever?? what do you MEAN they need to be Official??????? i expected BAIT and DELUSION and all i’m getting is REALNESS i’m so upset (not really)

when nina called maggie angel. MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

i was keeping an angel count and i lost count

I DIDN’T REALIZE IT WAS ACTUALLY—

it feels like a totally different show than the first season. like not in a bad way just a Way

themes characters lack of newt/anathema sex scene idk

i wonder how adam is doing now

this is so dan and phil (joke i’ll kms now)

I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY HAD THE AUDACITY TO PUT LOVER BOY, A NOTABLE LACKING SONG FROM THE FIRST SEASON, SO EARLY ON OVER CROWLEY’S TRUDGE BACK TO AZIRAPHALE and then did T H A T

also not the “something terrible they’re going to do to me” being just. demoted lol are u serious

DID THE COFFEE DO ANYTHING???????? I AM SO BEGGING TO KNOW PLEASE LIKE it was so OMINOUS WHY

shout out to the canto feature i want to learn canto

SHOUT OUT TO THE FRENCH FEATURE LOL THAT WAS LITERALLY ME ON THE AP EXAM IT WAS SO AWFUL (and my experience after the ap exam was awful too lmao but no comment)

WAIT I NEED TO DO MY FRENCH STREAK RN HOLD ON

ok i did my french lesson one of the examples was “i love this tv show” and.

I LOVE JIM i hate gabriel.

seriously even through all the parallels i still am disgusted (half joking and like 10% real) (the other 40% is a mystery) (ineffable you could say) by the gabriel / beelzebub development 💀 PLEASE like it was so sudden to me but i think i may be slow and i also think (maybe hope) that there’s like. a more substantial reason behind this besides Suffering

WE NOTICED THE FLY FROM THE BEGINNING HEHE

in the predictions my friend and i made before watching s2e1, theirs came true in literally the first minute, and mine came true in e4………..before i realized today that there is a strong possibility i literally just saw a screencap of the thing i predicted (there being magic in the season) and co-opted it as my own idea. lawl

though i do also need to spend some time scrubbing through e5 to see if there actually was a ball—like physical ball like sports ball—in the episode

SCREW GABRIEL

neil.

i want donuts

there’s this chip (like hole type not food type) in between where my canine is connected to my bonded retainer and i’ve been fiddling with it the whole night and now i don’t think i’m going to be able to ever separate that again it’ll just be the Good Omens Season Two Chip forever and ever

and now i’m just so concerned over the wellbeing of everyone involved in the making of the show PLEASE I NEED MY SEASON THREE SO BAD STAY WILLING AND ABLE TO MAKE IT FOR ME PLEASE and also for yourselves i guess

i cannot do this

i was in a goofy fall out boy mood most of the day

well except for the planet bass mood i was in during like noon and seven minutes into e5 (someone said the word “danger”)

and also the air catcher / run and go mood i was in in the morning

i screamed a lot tried not to lose my voice

i had to GET UP OFF THE COUCH and start PACING that last episode

and also i ended up for the floor

and i ended up staying on the floor long after the episode finished

i was sweating so hard i did so much exercise and also had goosebumps from all that devastation

now i am a shell of a man.

i’m so tired

i am very glad that i missed the last half of my meeting today to go watch good omens. i’m obviously going to rewatch the meeting but like .yeah worth it

i’m so sleepy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CROWLEY…………….HE’S JUST LIKE ME………………………….HE JUST LIKES SPACE AND PRETTY THINGS………………………………………ALL HE EVER DID WAS ASK QUESTIONS…………………………………………………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

every piece of media i consume, i am incrementally more glad that it isn’t voltron legendary defender

also i opened up about taylor swift and brendon urie’s hit song ME! again i keep doing this JUST BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT WAS THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL IN APRIL 2019 DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO CONNECT IT TO EVERY SINGLE THING YOU DID OR CONSUMED IN 2019

speaking of 2019 i remember seeing the original trailer and thinking THIS IS CRINGE AND ALSO BAIT oh boy look where we are now!!!!!!!!!!

i’ll die

i’ll kms (both of these statements are false)

i don’t even know what to do anymore

jim was iconic and i’m sad to see him turn back into That Guy

although when i noticed the fly i was like BEELZ. something sus. erm but i thought it was like evil sus and i somehow didn’t get it the whole time. like why beelzebub wasn’t concerned WAIT IS THAT WHY HELL WAS LOOKING FOR HIM i need to rewatch. IMMEDIATELy

i am once again speaking about the kiss. i am once again speaking about the kiss. i am once again speaking about the kiss. i am once again speaking about the kiss. i am once again speaking about the kiss. i am once again sp—

the. the grhgrhgjdfdfhgfkj

i screamed so loud but no one heard a thing

adding to the playlist as we speak

throwing up at the whole gabriel beelzebub thing like yeah conceptually sure they’re fine but i’m still throwing up

alright i am looking in the mirror and the reflection does Not look like me so i think it is time for me to go (od omens) to sleep GOOD NIGHT. i will add to this if i think of anything else!!!!!!!!!!

NEVERMIND MY MIND JUST FLASHED BACK TO THE FINGER TOUCHING LIPS SHOT AN DI’M GOING INSANE AGAIN HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO US. HOW!!!!!!!!!

sometimes i wish it all was bait (no i do not)

the edits are already destroying me and i’ve only seen two so far

how the hell am i going to make art

i am

good omens

now i’m reading theories and i’ve discovered there’s an entire google docs theory based on magic GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

#good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #go2 #op

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vegalocity · 3 years

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Peachtea/TripSun angst idea. Nobody knew Wukong would disappear for 500 years so they're mourning until Xiaotian starts training with him. Tang composes himself to wait a little longer but Wukong just ignores all the signs. Until he gets into an argument with Tang and Tang ends up snapping "Why did you disappear for 500 years?!"

Okay so here’s the thing, I can only get behind the whole ‘The other Pilgrims ALL thought Wukong was dead and are PISSED at him now’ stuff, only, and I mean ONLY if Wukong either thought they all didn’t want to hear from him again anyway, or if he thought they were dead too.

....I mean my only contributions to all those ‘Reunion with Baije and Wujing’ posts were both ‘Wukong thought they were dead too’ so CLEARLY thats my read on the whole thing. I sincerely can’t see him just... NOT telling people he cared that much about that he was gonna bounce for that long to be alone on FFM, so if he knew they were alive he would have told them.

And then you know someone spotted that little shrine with the origami figures in the Special and I was there like:

So like, lets do something we’ll both enjoy here then because all of those reunion fics are almost exclusively centered around the trio, and we oh so rarely see Sanzang (whether he is Tang or not) get involved.

So like first off, assuming LMK is on a sci fi alternate earth instead of being in the future, there’s still a solid nine hundred or so years between the end of the Pilgrimage and the supposed time Wukong disappeared for Monkie Kid timeline (JTTW is set in like the 600s or so if i remember correctly, might be wrong about the exacts tho) so lets assume those nine hundred years were uneventful.

So yeah, idk the hows, the hows don’t matter. What DOES matter is Wukong somehow loses contact with the others and is somehow convinced they were all killed, had his last stand against DBK and then went off travelling for a century to come to terms with his brothers and his precious, darling, beloved Master all perishing due to his inability to protect them.

and meanwhile for the others he was just... GONE. Like he’d vanished off the face of the earth, And the last the three of them ever saw of him was the staff rooted into the mountain that now kept the Bull King below. Just in case maybe the tree of them would periodically head off to Flower Fruit Mountain and check in with the monkeys that could still talk, but after about a century it was clear. If he WAS still alive, he wasn’t coming back. And the idea that he’d purposefully leave all of them behind just for the hope that he WAS still alive would do his memory a disservice.

So when Wukong returns to FFM wouldn’t it be great if he like, JUST missed that last visit? Like DAYS after Sanzang, Baije and Wujing had been there for the final time to hold an impromptu funeral for their dead friend on his homeland and finally accept that he was gone, Wukong returns to the mountain and builds his little shrine for his dead friends... the Monkeys all look at eachother awkwardly and shrug, assuming this will be settled soon enough, surely it’ll be solved before too long.

And then another 400 years of kingly depression naps and the others falling in and out of contact with eachother as they adapt to the ever changing world around them later, Xiaotian snatches the staff from the bull family.

And... Look... It’s been a ROUGH 500 years on Sanzang now called simply Tang. He’d only recently tracked down Baije-now-called-Pigsy in the past... what Ten years? and was only tangentially aware of what Wujing-now-called-Sandy was up to. And... Look... LOOK. It’s ridiculous that he’s still hung up over losing Wukong as much as he is. He’s Well FUCKING aware it’s ridiculous. He should know better, he quite LITERALLY reached immortality through enlightenment. He KNOWS he should know better.

So why-... Why can’t he say his real name without his gut still twisting into knots? He still tells the stories because telling them behind a wall of detachment, pretending he wasn’t there on the action for most of them helps in some small way, but why does he have to always call him ‘the Monkey King’? What a question, he knows why. He gave his heart away when he was still mortal, and so mortal his heart will forever stay. Dead and returned to the stone with the impulsive monkey he’d given it to.

And then It’s not dead. Because he’s not dead. and honestly at first it’s just shock, it’s just reeling with the sheer tidal wave of feelings he had to spend hours meditating just to sort through. The three of them meet up after Xiaotian and Xiaojiao have turned in for the night to discuss what the FUCK just happened, and all three of them come away with different conclusions.

Baije is furious and will refuse to seek out Wukong unless its to tell him off for letting the three of them belive him dead, Wujing is sad and would like to see Wukong again to simply ask why he’d decided to cut the three of them out of his life like that, but doesn’t want to do it alone. And he’s...conflicted.

He wants this to be a joyous discovery. he wants to be so relieved and euphoric at his monkey still being there, having ALWAYS been there, that he wouldn’t be able to stop smiling for days on end. But he can’t. It’s all so... messy inside and he’s going to need to keep his distance if he wants to be able to approach Wukong with a level head. This was why attachments such as these were foolish he should have known better all those years ago but it was centuries too late now, and this confliction is what he has to suffer through as the result... wanting to laugh and cry and scream all at once because Wukong is ALIVE, he’d spent SO long in mourning for him, and HOW DARE HE ignore them all and let them assume the worst?!

So he hides behind that Scholar Tang persona while he sorts through his emotions. And it works for the most part.

And then New Years happens.

And... Look, Wukong’s been THROUGH it in the last 500 years. He’s done everything he could to just... GET OVER the loss of his love His Master and His brothers. he went through all the damn stages of grief,

Spent that first decade in denial poking around everywhere he could to see if any of them-ANY of them were in hiding somewhere, spent another three decades wandering the world and starting fights with other cultures divine warriors (and that Aphrodite chick was DEFINITELY hitting on him the entire time, extolling about how rarely she got to use her ‘Aria form’ whatever that meant) to work through his rage without actually getting himself in trouble with his own heavenly court. Spent another twenty years or so looking through as many underworlds as he could find, no matter how many of them really wanted to test just HOW immortal he was (Answer: Too Immortal for any of them) to see if ANYONE had anything he could work with, and always coming up empty. eventually crossed the ocean to the other landmass because he was tired of looking at all of these places and seeing either memories or wasted time looking for bargaining chips, and spent a decade or so deciding he hated Mexico and went back to China. and then spent another thirty years just procrastinating returning home to his mountain.

When he returns to flower fruit mountain its as though he’d never left. His monkeys greet him with excitement but he’s standing on the shores of his home he hasn’t seen in a century and... feels nothing. Like his ability to feel anything for anything beyond the people he’s lost is gone. He makes a little shrine that spends most of its time on a shelf that's difficult to be able to look at full on without craning your neck weirdly and if any of his subjects notice that he takes a bit too much care in folding the little paper figure of the monk as he sets the four figures up along the edge of the little thing none of them judge him over it. He’s rarely got the energy for tears anymore, but when he does it’s usually when that little figure catches his eye.

By the time Xiaotian crashes into his life he’s... getting better. At least he thinks he is. having the loud excitable boy in his life is helping chase the shadows away a little bit (though when they return oh how they scream) and he hears some stories of his friends on training days and... geez sometimes he’ll tell this or that story and Wukong will be so THOUROUGHLY reminded of someone that it just... hurts.

And then New Years happens.

And he finally sees him again -- And he finally meets Xiaotian’s friends

And he still doesn’t know how to feel it’s all SO MUCH -- And they feel familiar so he gives them all a quick glance with golden eyes

And he can only do the one thing that feels safe right now -- And oh... that makes sense. How lucky they all found eachother again after reincarnating.

Sanzang hides behind the Tang persona and lies with an energy that could only be harvested from the sheer maelstrom of emotions fighting for dominance -- and Wukong leaves before he says something incriminating because now he knows and he can’t Un-know.

He should have known better but its centuries too late. And it doesn’t even matter that he doesn’t know how to feel about this whole thing he HAS to keep seeing him, he can NOT let him vanish again -- This was a mistake, this was a mistake, he cannot face them all and see lack of recognition, he cannot have his brothers treating him only as Xiaotian’s mentor he can NOT handle looking at him and seeing a stranger.

He needs to at least TALK to him -- He can’t stay away

Wukong doesn’t start out hanging out at the Noodle Shop on down time, that’d be too much too quick, especially since Baije-.. Since Pigsy is clearly still pretty steamed for the whole ‘letting Xiaotian into the world of magic and monsters’ stuff. But he’ll often shapeshift and keep an eye on things like that... No he is NOT eavesdropping on the reincarnations of those three out of the ridiculous desperate desire to feel close to them again. Because he’d rather just love him miss them from afar than be treated as a stranger.

But of course Tang notices when he does. Every time. And every time he wants to say something but his throat feels too tight. That first day he’d fallen on the persona because it was all he felt he COULD do but now the very idea that he’d have to pretend to be someone else just to be able to speak to his monkey not his not anymore Him was completely out of the question. Tang’s actually surprised with himself the first time he finds his voice.

The conversations come quickly, neither of them quite content to ignore the other now that its become obvious. The conversations are mostly stilted, awkward. Wukong seems both unable to help himself from talking to him, but unwilling to LOOK at him. Tang’s best guess is that he somehow doesn’t recognize him, Had he really changed that much in the time they’d been apart? Had he really lost so much affection for his old master that he could no longer recognize him beneath a slight change in appearance? That might be the reason the Hurt finally starts to win in the eternal standoff between Joy and Sorrow in how this whole thing makes him feel.

And maybe it’s something simple, maybe Wukong is just barely starting to lower his guard a bit. Maybe just sharing a space with the man who once was the love of his life his master was finally starting to chalk over the rough edges his long since broken heart would constantly stab into him with. and he just SAYS something. Something probably innocuous, something he’d said a million times on the Journey alone. And to Tang it just... feels like he’s mocking him, like he’d known this whole time and had just been playing with his emotions in a way he wouldn’t have tolerated back then- so why should he tolerate it now?

And the first words out of his own mouth are “Bad Monkey!” and Wukong freezes as Tang begins to lecture him

How he’d spent a solid third of his time immortal in mourning over him, how he’d been the one to tell Baije and Wujing that it would be a disgrace to his memory to believe him alive and instead that he’d chosen to cut the lot of them out of his life, despite how much HE’D wanted to believe it too. How hurt he was to find out that not only he HAD been ignoring them for so long but also that he’d apparently had apparently not even recognized any of them when they HAD all seen each other again! How much he’d missed him, how happy he’d still been to see him again.

Yes, yes, pathetic, emotional baldy always bursting into tears at the simplest of things nothing’s changed etcetera etcetera- He hadn’t been lying on new years when he said he had a million questions, but all he really wanted to know was why? Why did he cut them out of his life, why did he shut HIM out? Why did you disappear for 500 years Wukong?

And Wukong reaches out, his hand is- shaking? and removes the glasses from right off his face--normal glass obviously, Baije had insisted they completed the scholarly look and annoyed him into compliance--

“You’re-” he hesitates, looks, almost afraid? “You’re not a reincarnation..?”

Oh...

Well now they both looked the part of fools.

Two sobbing fools clutching to eachother in the alleyway behind Pigsy’s shop, and oh MAN did they have some things to talk about, because Wukong was DEFINITELY coming back with him to his apartment for the night and then first thing in the morning he was going to visit his brothers to internalize that THEY weren’t reincarnations either and then he was going to have to explain where he’d been for that first century while they were all still looking for him to THEM too.

And yes he should have known better than to get attached to him in this way in the first place, it was disgraceful, the sheer misery it had brought alone was proof enough of that. But Wukong was nuzzling into his shoulder, and pressing those strange feeling monkey kisses across his cheeks and jaw, and his breath was hitching with pure relief and joy and it was for him-

And fuck it, he just didn’t care.

#Peachtea #Tripsun #hell yeah hell yeah hell yeah #Y'all should read 'from here the rain falls' on AO3 #REALLY great fic for this ship #and i haven't seen the Chow movies but i could follow along p. easily so there's that #letters to vega #it seems as though epople are sending me many things for this ship and i say #Keep em coming man we must make the content we wish to see in thsi world #hoo boy did this get LONG though

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kris-p-banana-bread · 3 years

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Here DOAFP fandom, have some organic, locally-sourced, home-grown pain. This is basically just me, a scarred older sibling, projecting on Bobby, another scarred older sibling. I really reached into my post-loss psyche for this, so I hope you enjoy the headcanons and meta (AKA I hope you shed at least one tear).

It won’t let me link it here so the post that inspired this is under the read more at the bottom ✨

- When I first watched doafp, I couldn't understand Elena's aversion to Sam becoming a prominent figure in her mom's and her life. Now I understand it almost too perfectly. There was never supposed to be someone after Robert. He and Gabi were deeply in love and happy. Robert was it; he was the first and true love of Gabi's life. Sam showing up probably felt like a huge and utterly disrespectful slap in the face of Robert's memory, because he wasn't even supposed to be there. I don't know if that's as eloquent as I wish it was, or if it makes sense, and it probably sounds really mean to Sam, but it's not even really about him. It was always supposed to be Robert; Sam hasn’t earned the right to be apart of or associated with her family

- After Robert dies, Gabi and Bobby make it a habit to find and keep photos and recordings/videos of Robert, even if the latter only has him saying one sentence. They won't make Elena join them for the search, but after they find some of those old audios of Robert, they'll sometimes play them back for little Elena

- Bobby put up the keep out sign (I credit this to a few other blogs for discussing this tho) because that's where he would cry sometimes. He actually used to be pretty close with Elena, but after he put up that sign and started distancing himself from them a bit so they wouldn't see the times he cracked, he got a little more short and jaded with her. It's that, plus just growing into a teenager and stuff. And I'm not saying that he and Elena have a bad relationship, but he's become more snappy and has more walls up than he used to

- Sometimes Elena feels bad because she doesn't always remember her dad's voice. She was pretty young when he died, so even though she recalls it a bit, and the recordings help, it's been a while since she's talked to him in person, so of course she doesn't quite remember what it's like to actually talk to Robert and she's forgotten some of his mannerisms. She likes to think she's all done (she marked the stages down in her grief journal after all) but grief isn't linear or all that rational, so it hits her hard sometimes

- I keep reading as an action close to my heart because that's a strong bond me and my mom shared. She would rec books to me, and we would joke and talk about them, or she would hint to some future event and then refuse to tell me until I caught up to that part. So Elena and Bobby do something similar in their grief. Elena has writing and words, because that's something Robert loved if I remember correctly (but if I’m not and that’s not canon, then I now declare it so) and Bobby has tennis. But besides tennis (I sent a couple anons to @freshlybakedfandoms about it but I'm not sure where she went) Bobby also was taught to play guitar by Robert (I liken it to Devi Vishwakumar and her harp) so when he misses his dad or is just sad, he'll take out his dad's old acoustic and strum

- (This next one is something I also think a lot about so this is pretty much 98% projection) Bobby thinks sometimes about the fact that he was never able to come out to his dad. He hadn't really started growing into that part of himself yet, and he never got to show it to his father. He wonders what he would have thought of him. Would he be angry? Would he dismiss him and say it was just a phase? Bobby didn't think so, but a little part of him insisted that you could never be too sure. After he comes out, Gabi and Cami assure him that Robert would've been so proud of him and would've loved him regardless (Since we know virtually nothing about him, I maintain that Robert was one of those dads who teases their kid relentlessly about their crushes and I think he would've done that with Bobby and eventually Elena)

- When Elena's quince rolls around (if she chooses to have one of course), Sam dances with her during the father-daughter dance. A part of her still hurts, still aches and wishes that Robert were dancing with her too; still knows on some fundamental level that he and Gabi had planned for this day, but he had simply never made it. But she's known Sam long enough that she feels comfortable here. Nobody can replace Robert, but Sam is her family, and it feels right like this.

- I might do some more research and deliberate, but for the moment I'm saying that Robert had cancer, I’m thinking along the lines of colon. My mom was terminal, but idk if I should make Robert terminal? Maybe towards the end. Or maybe he was diagnosed as incurable early on but Gabi kept it from the kids because, tbh, being told your parent is balancing on that kind of edge is traumatic for them. So anyways, I’m going on that assumption for this last point, and I’ll see if I can recover some of my old knowledge and talk about technical stuff later if anybody would like to hear it

- Elena and Bobby were both pretty young. Bobby understood about PET scans and tests somewhat, and knew generally what different answers from doctors meant. Elena mainly just understood what was happening by reading her parents' and brother's expressions when getting lab results in from the doctor. They both remember on some level what it was like when Gabi would leave the kids with Cami and take Robert out to the car (later she would have to help him) and they would all feel like they were holding their breath until they got back and confirmed that everything was ok (and later, the little shocks of fear when the answers were no longer as positive and there was more apprehension and risks. After all, cancer doesn’t deal in absolutes)

- Bobby can still remember Robert when he had to stop walking around a lot. He still remembers the phone call that Cami got from his mom, saying that something had gone wrong, and if this last treatment didn’t work, he wouldn’t have much time before he passed. Still remembers Cami rushing into a room when she got that call, and trying to hide what was happening until Gabi could get home and explain it; but Bobby was a sharp kid believe it or not. He heard about the treatment, heard Cami crying. He still had hope... but when Robert came home in a gurney, when he could barely stay awake sometimes, when his voice was quiet and his skin was a little jaundiced, Bobby felt incredibly empty. But Robert always had a smile for his wife and his beautiful kids, even if it was small and very tired, his eyes still crinkled the same. He always had a smile; right up until they had to say goodnight and get some sleep one night. And then... he passed.

- After he passed, the Cañero-Reeds needed help, and a lot of Gabi’s coworkers would bring food or materials if they were running low. Cami and Danielle would babysit and would distract the kids when Gabi needed a good cry.

- Like you’d imagine, and because of what is sort of implied in canon and in my own head, the kids dealt with it in different ways. Bobby put up that sign, and withdrew. He wasn’t awful, but his patience with certain people got a bit shorter and he was a bit quieter. And he was a really good helper when he had the energy and he cared deeply, but he would sometimes get physically and emotionally exhausted after helping Gabi/Elena/Cami/anybody else with something and would go into his room or mentally tap out to recharge. He took comfort in things that seemed natural and that he sometimes took for granted before, like video games and skateboarding (hehe bobby skateboards. Anybody second me on this?) and clothes etc... and other stuff. A lot of materialistic things or experiences that he would skip out on before. But they bring normalcy back to his life now so he loves them for that.

- Bobby doesn’t wanna think about big themes or anything anymore, which I can’t remember but I think it was Vi (freshlybakedfandoms, again, idk where she is and I hope she’s ok) who said he was a math and science person and I think that as much as that could transfer over to those subjects as well, it’s much harder to avoid existential and emotional themes in English and History class and Bobby doesn’t like it as much as Elena does for that reason. He had to live with the back and forth of his dad’s treatments and tests, so math and science is comforting because it’s more concrete (There could be a million arguments for why he would distrust math and science because of his dad’s passing though, I realize) Ultimately, though, it reminds him of Robert too much.

- On the other hand, after a period of shock and confusion, Elena threw herself into new things. First it was a grief journal, to make sure she was going through the motions. Then she read a lot, and when she felt too alone or like she wasn’t doing enough, like she was stagnant, she’d just find something to focus and persevere on again. That feels like her personality type to me; something is wrong so let’s fix it right away. But that could also transfer sort of negatively into “Something feels off or I’m very sad, let’s get this thing done and be productive so we can put off having to confront that but at least we get work out of it” but I could be entirely wrong (this is based off some of my family members and how they dealt with the loss.) And Elena throws herself into history and english because her dad loved it, and she wants to remember more of him. Because she believes words have power and history is a lesson and that’s incredibly interesting for her

#bear talks #doafp #robert cañero reed #bobby cañero reed #gabi cañero reed #elena cañero reed #camila doafp #sam faber #fun times #sorry?#I can write a cute fluffy fic to make up for it #i cri #also sorry if I made these a bit too much about bobby #I just relate to him as the older sibling #I added some more so if it got out of hand I’m sorry #tell me and I can make it neater #my meticulousness might just make myself do that on my own tho

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konaizumi · 3 years

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A Tale of a Thousand Stars ep 5 thoughts/reaction

so tian killed torfun, but does tian know this yet? bc that would make more sense for why his parents didn’t want him to know about the donor

tian, pls stop comparing yourself to torfun, you don’t like phupha bc of her heart and he doesn’t like you bc of her heart

also, yesterday i listened to the full ost yesterday for the first time with the lyrics and it’s so beautiful and meaningful

tian had better be on his on the get his medication refilled

i love tul’s pretty casual reaction after being able to contact your friend for the first time in two months after they vanished with only a vague note

awww, tian looking up stuff to do with the children

poor yod, just wants to eat

can’t believe phupha is still trying to deny his feelings to his friends

lol p’aof

but what’s he gonna do with the second scent pouch?

dr nam, at it again

tian trying to trash talk phupha but with a smile the whole time

dr nam knows exactly what he’s doing

tian, pls stop lying to the doctor, the one that’s going to have to take care of you if something happens, like i get that you don’t want people to know, but dr nam is literally the person who needs to know

“like those who reforest but decorate their house with ivories” tian throwing shade at his father

prediction: tian’s father will get involved with the situation at some point and will somehow be involved in resolving the situation with the mob boss (bc he’s the minister or former minster of environmental smth)

tian really is a trouble magnet tho

it’s great to see tian interact with an old friend, mix and white really have good chemistry of friends who’ve known each other forever

i can’t stop laughing at the product placement being used as an excuse for tian to be horny

*pictures shirtless buff phupha* “yeah it is good for your health” XD, i cant

tian, i know why you don’t want your mom to know where you are, but pls at least give her a call

tian complaining but seeming super happy about the bad parts of the village is so pure, my boy is so happy

not phupha going through the 5 stages of grief while tian is gone

he’s such a tsundere

I’m all for phupha being one of the main reasons tian stays at the village but at the same time there’s no need for them to downplay the importance of the rest of the characters to tian’s happiness, like the village and the children are allowed to be just as important as romantic attachments

phupha’s like a dog with separation anxiety

i loved tul and tian’s whole conversation about tian being gay, i was so relieved that’s how it went

can’t believe gmmtv actually avoided making an entire plotline out of a character being gay but thank god

also the implication that tian knew he liked guys even before he started liking phupha, pls give us more content like this gmmtv

also i love the editing that switches between tian’s and phupha’s conversations

also i just love nam/yod/rang/phupha friendship

thank you tul for immediately telling tian that torfun’s heart has literally nothing to do with tian’s feelings

“ i never said i had feelings for him” lol, sure tian

phupha lowkey sulking while his friends make fun of him

tian literally can’t trash talk phupha without smiling, huh?

pls stop hurting my precious baby, he’s very fragile right now

“i have someone there protecting me already” oh if only phupha could hear that

i’m just very glad that there’s not a whole plotline around tian and phupha realizing and admitting their feelings to themselves, like they both have reservations about telling other people, but they both are clearly aware of their own feelings and seem pretty comfortable with them

i can’t wait for tul to meet phupha and spill all the of tian’s dirt

gives the middle finger (affectionate)

tian seeing that phupha is sulking and immediately assuming it’s bc he didn’t tell phupha his plans (and he’s right lol)

tian being super confused by nice phupha

phupha trying really hard to follow dr nam’s advice is so cute

tian, he’s literally smiled for so many times

“what do you want me to be?” my boyfriend

tian immediately feeling embarrased after calling him p’phu

tian brings up phupha’s relationship status for someone who “doesn’t have feelings”

god, phupha smiling a the secret picture he took of tian is just so pure

the phutian content throughout the whole episode is honestly god tier

you know it’s a good scene when you sit there mentally shouting at the characters to just kiss already

(and you know they want to kiss each other so bad)

i really appreciate them giving phupha valid reasons for being insecure like he’s much older and he’s tied to the village, starting a relationship with him would mean staying in the village rather than going back to the city, and him thinking that tian (a young 20 year old rich boy who’s still in the middle of a college degree to be an engineer) wouldn’t want that isn’t unrealistic, like i just appreciate that his reasons for hesitating aren’t stupid

shit, there’s so much fondness~~~~

how many sexual innuendos did phupha make this ep lol

i love how natural their relationship feels too, like it’s just genuinely two people falling in love with each other

everytime phupha fondly watches tian interacting with the children, i gain a year of life

okay but i love all the forest rangers encouraging phupha to ask tian to stay longer

they’re literally so in love it hurts

tian using phupha’s full title when he’s embarrassed

they’re so happy flying the kites together

the very last scene is heartbreaking but also very satisfying to watch

the fear in phupha’s eyes

also i imagine it must be pretty terrifying bc tian’s not just passed out, it’s not like he just fainted, he’s still conscious but can’t move or speak and seems to be in a lot of pain and to have to watch that and not knowing what’s happening to him or what to do

but that’s literally why you need to tell people, tian, so they can help you in emergencies like this

dr nam, hate to break it to you but phupha definitely knows how to flirt

“im also strong” i cant with this man

yes, dr nam, tell my son to quit being such a dumbass and take care of himself

tian and phupha better kiss next week, they deserve it

shit, this was such a good episode, all the quality phutian moments, finally the heart transplant will be revealed, the tul and tian content was great and I hope we see tul again

MVP of the episode: Tul

#atots #1000 stars #a tale of a thousand stars #atots spoilers #1000 stars spoilers #atots ep 5 #1000 stars ep5 #konaizumi

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 3 years

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tuesday again 5/4/21

yeah yeah yeah may the fourth be with you whatever this is mostly me rambling disjointedly about the bits and pieces of star wars i crammed into my weekend

i think the star war that is the best-made and most watchable on a technical level (including script) is ESB. however, AOTC is my fuckin favorite bc there’s so much fucking nonsense happening all the the goddamn time. incoherent movie with too many sidequests but it all looks sick as shit

my personal history with star wars is: watched it (like many other movies) juuuuust a little too young with my dad as a Bonding Activity (to the silent fury of my mom) but unfortunately got Really Into It. reading expanded universe novels (nearly all of them, i have almost two hundred of them in boxes in a storage unit) was the thing that kept me alive through high school. never really got into the comics, didn’t pick up any of the post-disney-nuking-the-expanded-universe novels. was horribly disappointed by the sequel trilogy and solo. rogue one is all right. however, the mandalorian (weird and cheesy as it is, also i am not immune to pedro pascal) really got me back into this stupid fucking franchise. so i have been taking a rambling walk through things that i remembered liking. all my fun star wars facts are old and outdated but they sure all do live in my brain

listening ‘General Grievous’ off the ROTS soundtrack. this is i think the beginning of my love for heavy low rumbling undercurrents? would not say this has a ‘groove’ per se but there is definitely a forward momentum. love some ominous brass. love the williams panic-spike strings. LOVE A DANGER WARNING LEITMOTIF

god u listen to the original + prequel soundtracks and then listen to the sequel soundtracks (as i have been doing during working hours for the past week) and i get really sad. should have let him retire in peace. he doesn’t have a ton of gas left.

anyway this is the bit of the movie where obi-wan shows up on utapu (the cool sinkhole planet) with the big lizard bird to fight grievious btw. good fight. why does he flirt with the big robot man when he’s already in a enemies-to-lovers flirtationship with asaaj ventress RIGHT AFTER the duchess of mandalore died in his arms??? who can say. grief makes people do weird things.

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reading rebel heist (2014, kindt & castiello). these are some of the few loose single-issue comics i own bc i love the covers so much. i hate dealing with bagged and boarded comics bc they’re a pain to store and they’re honestly a pain to read. gimme a trade paperback any day please. rereading these, i liked them less than i remembered- it’s a cool conceit of following an ordinary person in the rebellion as they get caught up in luke & leia & han & chewie’s schemes, and things of course do eventually turn out fine but not before all these regular people go UHHHH WHAT THE FUCK? WTF WTF WTF NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR at some classic skywalker nonsense. can i just say how much i love these covers again tho

watching star wars: the clone wars ran from 2008 to 2020. i watched the first six seasons with my siblings on starwars.com for most of its run, bc there was a brief period of time (i forget whether it was two days after or ten days after) when you could watch each episode for free and we didn’t have cable until well after i went to college.

the second season is where it really starts to hit its stride- i haven’t gone back to watch anything as an adult but i remember liking a lot of the episodes from this season. as an adult, it’s pretty horrifying to realize how fucking stupid the clone wars were from a loss of life and material gain standpoint.

there’s a two-episode arc about the zillo beast, a big kaiju critter, and i only had enough time to watch the first one. the have to protect the oil planet (sorry, i’m getting a note in) so sorry the FUEL RESERVES on the oil planet, so they drop a giant EMP two miles from the city center, but this isn’t a planet with people that look like humans so it’s fine! the important thing is that the fuel is okay.

anyway, this episode is lovely and moody- this is such a stiff-looking show and wreathing everything in cool purple mist and making sure the silhouettes look good is really doing a lot of the work here

look i just really like this framing. the jedi on a stage above everyone else, waist-deep in blood already from the months-old war, the hint of an imperial symbol in the cannon dish, anakin & mace separated by an interior wall and separate hatches. i’m reading too much into season fucking two of the clone wars but i just think it’s neat.

yes!!! starship fuel SHOULD be bright radioactive green!!! star wars is mostly about things looking sick as shit and it’s part of why i am the way i am now

ok i fucked up on this last screenshot but look. LOOK. this is some peak nonsense right here love it. mwah. star wars is at its heart a melodramatic pulpy swashbuckling science fiction adventure and it gets weird when it forgets that

playing i own fallen order bc it came for free with my pc but i have not cracked it open bc it seems like an assassains creed, a style of game that fucking infuriates me. also i own no other star wars games so this section left intentionally blank

making i make one of these things a year now i guess. this one is finally for me.

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem #i am cursed to love franchises with horrific fandoms

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animeboysloveyou · 4 years

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Might I request something? :3 Last year I had a really bad pulmonary embolism and almost died. I was home alone and called the ambulance at the very last minute. 😂 How would the Founders + Izuna react if this happened to their wife? Like... what happens when she calls them and says: "Hey Honey, I almost died and am now hospitalized!" ? 🙈

asdfghjk WHY DID U WAIT SO LONG THO OH GOD IM SORRY THAT HAPPENED TO YOU T_T Im glad everything went ok but!! aaaa pls look after yourself sweetheart or the founders will have to!!!

Hospitalized S/O

💛 Hashirama 💛

Oh my god did you want to give this boy a heartattack??? if that was the plan CONGRATS he’s gonna join u in hospital

Seriously, though, if you call him and say THAT? He won’t know what to do for a second

And then he runs to you. Hokage duties? If they can’t understand why he’s leaving in this circumstance that’s their problem, not his!

He knows his way around medicine a bit and he’ll feel SO terrible for not noticing sooner. Once he arrives at your bed, he’ll try to put on his serious voice to scold you for not speaking up sooner but honestly he can’t keep it up. He’s so shaken.

Fusses over you. He knows you need some peace and quiet but how is he supposed NOT to fuss over you??? Knowing he could’ve lost you is no joke!

“Why didn’t you tell me? Didn’t you notice? Are you alright? Do you need me to stay home more? Can I get you something? How are you feeling??” hashirama shut up challenge: failed

The more he sees how close it was for you, the more quiet he’ll be. He’s honestly so terrified of losing you, and there’s SO much guilt in him for leaving you alone. So once you feel a little better, he’ll have calmed down enough to have a serious but very emotional and kind talk with you about how you should ALWAYS tell him when something’s wrong with you. Please. He needs to know in order to help you.

If you didn’t even notice until it was nearly too late, he’ll skip all that and go straight to doting on you. He’ll do anything for you, and might even insist on you staying in bed even when you’re already feeling fine again.

💛 Tobirama 💛

Honestly, those words make him freeze on the spot for a moment. His brain doesn’t wanna process that. You? Nearly dying? While apparently safe and sound in the village? Uh-uh.

“What?!”

You won’t have to tell him where you are, this boy can sense you anywhere in the village. He’s learned to pick up the faintest traces of you - just in case. Just in case something like this happens.

Honestly he probably doesn’t even wait for you to explain yourself he’s running/teleporting to your side asap no questions asked. He needs to see you’re okay. He’s panicking.

Like, he knows they wouldn’t let you call him if you were still at the verge of death but asdfghjkl nothing makes this man’s brain stop working like knowing his spouse is in danger.

If you ignored the signs oh man he’ll be so mad. Like, he probably would’ve ignored the signs himself too, but it wasn’t him, it was you and that’s different. But one sad look from you and he’ll literally bite his lip to shut himself up. Decides to give you your verbal lesson once you’re out of the hospital.

If you didn’t realize how bad things were, he’ll still be grumpy, but more so because that makes it even more his fault for not being by your side. SURELY he would’ve noticed earlier, right?

He fusses over you in his own way. There’s no “the medicine is gross i don’t want it” with him, you’ll take that medicine and if it’s the last thing he does. He’ll take time off work for as long as he possibly can (and maybe a liiiittle bit longer) to make sure you’re really alright

Gets irrationally angry at any medical staff if your situation worsens and they can’t explain why. Threatens to bring his brother over if they don’t figure it out real quick.

Generally pretty unpleasant to be around but it’s just because fuck you scared the hell out of him. The thought that he could’ve lost you during a normal day at work? It fucks him up pretty bad. You’re the sick one but it’s good if you take the time to comfort this boy bc honestly he needs it.

💛 Madara 💛

Goes through the five stages of grief right then and there.

Doesn’t get angry or anything, just very serious. Very quiet. He drops what he’s doing and hurries to your side right away. Nobody’s gonna tell him no.

Honestly his mind is fucking racing and he’s so overwhelmed by what the hell’s going on so he tries to stay super serious and quiet and calm because he doesn’t wanna freak out. He doesn’t wanna freak you out.

Has no idea about medicine but insists they explain everything to him anyway. He needs to know what went wrong and if it could happen again, what he can do to help.

Honestly probably figures out some sharingan trick to check your vitals idk how but he works on it until he’s got SOMETHING to give him some kind of reassurance.

Once he finally sits down next to you, he tries to calm you down, because he remembers sitting at the bedside of wounded or dying soldiers and how panic gripped them, so. Even though you’re out of the woods already, he wants you to be calm and to feel looked after.

Also questions you, personally, about what happened. How you felt, how it went down, which signs you noticed, etc. You can probably feel his hand shaking a bit and the frown on his face but he tries to be calm around you, still.

Takes you home as soon as possible, though, because he just feels like you’ll recover there better. He’s got doctors in his clan, and being home helps.

Makes sure everyone dotes on you and brings you what you need. He’s got a lot of duties and can’t slack off, so whenever he really has to leave, he makes sure there’s lots of people you trust around to look after you.

💛 Izuna 💛

He’s in such a shock, he’ll probably stay on the phone with you wayyy too long just discussing what went wrong. Like shut UP izuna and go OVER there!!

He’s mad but not at you. He’s just generally in a terrible mood when he arrives because? How couldn’t he be? But then he sees you, giving him a weak / hesitant smile and you’ll see true worry in his eyes for the first time. Like, this whole time he was like “oh this girl is gonna GET it how DARE she not take care of herself????” but then he sees how hurt / weak you are and he’s ok oh. OH. fuck. That was a close call. He can’t handle that.

Doesn’t care at all what the medical staff has to tell him, he wants to hear everything from you. Definitely wants to be alone with you too, because he’s feeling so weak and vulnerable he doesn’t want anyone to see him like this except for you (and even then he’s got a bit of a difficult time showing it)

ALSO doesn’t really believe you when you say you’re doing better. You thought you were fine before and you nearly died, so ??? what if you’re still in danger??

Honestly doesn’t talk a lot this whole time. he knows he should comfort you but he’s struggling. you’ll probably have to comfort him for a while asdfghhjkl

But he also remembers being wounded and far closer to death than anyone wanted to admit, and he remembers that fear that gripped him. So he understands how you felt and doesn’t snap at you for “hiding your pain” but words of comfort don’t come easily to him

It’ll be easier once you’re released from the hospital. He’ll feel more comfortable at home, and will probably be more confident that you’re really okay. Will stay by your side any chance he gets and gets super snappy with Madara if he tries to make him work. He just. Wants to hold you for a while. Helps him process things ;W;

EVENTUALLY, when you’ve recovered and this moment is just a bad memory, he might tease you a bit about it, depending on how you’re feeling about the whole situation. if you can laugh about it, oh boy, he’ll give you so much shit - but if it’s something that still scares you, he’ll know to shut his fat mouth

#naruto imagine #hashirama x reader #tobirama x reader #madara x reader #izuna x reader #tell me if i need to tag this a certain way!#spikey-imagines

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mwagneto · 6 years

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We know you like the Sherlock movie with rdj, but have you seen the Sherlock TV show with Benedict Cumberbatch? And what do you think of it?

oh god. here we go. my dark backstory. I always knew this day would come...

so. yeah I've seen it, I started it 9 or 10 months before season 4 aired, I was sooo pumped. when 4x01 aired, I got even happier, because I've always hated Mary and she's finally dead!! Yess!!! Then came 4x02 , which I adored (I'm pretty sure I've seen it at least 14 times), other than the obvious (the hug™™), I loved the story, I found it really interesting, and I kinda glossed over the fact that John beat the shit out of Sherlock without any remorse.

The week leading up to The final problem was absolute hell. My irl friends and I (many of my classmates watched the show, in fact one of them got me to start watching) were counting the seconds. I couldn't think about anything else. Finally, FINALLY the day came. This is it. I knew it was gonna be a wild ride, I prepared myself that someone may call the cops because I'll be screaming so much. And then it was over, and it didn't make any sense.

I spent at least 40 minutes sitting there doing absolutely nothing but crying and staring, muttering "no. no, this can't be it. no. no". I called one of my friends and told him how much it sucked but at that point it was half past midnight (episode aired from 22.00 - 23.30) so he was tired. I was still weeping when I opened the groupchat

(ignore the fact that we're speaking English. It be like that sometimes)

Weirdo went to sleep shortly after, but Capsicle and I stayed up all night and talked. At first about the episode, then just any random shit that came to mind, I don't even remember most of it tbh, but we stayed up until past 5am,at which point Capsicle went to sleep. They went to school, I couldn't. I felt like I was fucking paralysed. I spent the day trying to process what the fuck had just happened. I quite literally went through the 5 stages of grief, I was so depressed that I'm surprised I'm still alive.

I discovered rdj sherlock in the beginning of February, which really helped, and later Shadowhunters, and it's safe to say I wouldn't be alive if I didn't have that motivation to "just stay alive until the next episode!!" which pulled me through the summer. that autumn, I re-discovered Marvel, binged all their movies in one week, realised how much Sherlock sucks and made my blog into a marvel one. If you search on my blog, I'm sure you'll find the remains of my BBC Sherlock fan phase, tho I tried to dispose of most of the evidence, I'm sure some of it is still there.

TL;DR BBC Sherlock 4x03 was so bad it sent me into an insanely deep depressed period, after which I realised how truly terribly written it is, and every flaw of it, and now I'm a recovered happy marvel & rdj Sherlock fan.

ps I love how the ask starts with "we know"

#if you enjoy bbc sherlock that's fine; this is just my experience; also this got long #i got mail!#marvel #mcu #shadowhunters

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onceuponahappytime · 6 years

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I'm a bit annoyed lately that many of my mutuals have so many different things on their Dash's but most don't seem to care about Regina or Lana anymore and it makes me sad.

I'm sure that's not true Nonnie ;) But also I'm not entirely in a position to judge I've been annoying my friends and followers with my Jaime Murray crush for months now ;)I can tell you tho how it is for me...it hit me pretty hard when OUAT was cancelled and I invested a lot of time and emotions in those last months before the series finale - as did many others. We all kinda went through the stages of grief and I've reached acceptance by now. I spend so much time lately with Regina and OUAT that I need a bit of a break. But that doesn't mean I'm not interested anymore or don't talk about OUAT. I'm just exploring other options too but Regina and OUAT will always be special and will always be talked about on this blog. Sometimes just a bit and sometimes 24/7.And I think many others feel the same. Don't be sad nonnie a fandom only dies if you let it. You just gotta accept that some things change.

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smokeybrand · 3 years

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Smokey brand Reviews: Life Is Unfair

WandaVision finished last week and i had planned to write and entire review about it as, you know. ‘m a hardcore Marvel shill, bu i opted to wait a bit. I wanted time to let the show marinate and then revisit it all at once to see if i still felt the way i did during the initial run. I’ve written little standalone posts, her and there, about specific episodes or characters as the show aired but i wanted to kind of document everything good and bad, that i noticed watching the MCU’s fist attempt at long form content. Objectively, I'm probably still pretty bias toward the show because it’s been a year since we got any new MCU content so there might not be a ton of critique in this bad boy. Plus, i really like Darcy so this thing already starts with bonus points.

The Good

The overall concept of this how being Wanda’s journey through the stages of grief was brilliant. I don’t know if this was ever officially acknowledged, but you can actually see a stage for every two episodes. Denial is basically the entirety of the first two episodes while seven and eight are straight up Depression. Going back through knowing that really makes for a far more potent watch.

I mentioned Darcy before but i really liked how Jimmy Woo got to shine here as well. Dude was one of the best things about Ant-Man II and i just really want dude to get bumped up into SWORD already.

The acting in this is exceptional. I wrote about Lizzy Olsen’s outstanding performance in it’s own posts a while back, but i need to acknowledge Paul Bettany as well. Dude is great in his role as Vision and i was a little bummed he got bumped off so soon after his introduction. I’m so glad Feige gave him such legs with this role because it really did Bettany a service in letting him actually show us who his Vision truly is.

Actually, the entire cast was pretty dope, overall. The child actors were kind of whack but they’re kids so that stands to reason but everyone else, did a decent job. The writing was pretty temperamental overall but everyone did their very best with the material given to them.

This series was pretty dope to look at. Like, the visual effects were spectacular at times. Not all of the time. There are chinks in the armor but, as a whole, this thing was very pleasing on the eye.

But dat White Vision, tho! White Vision is the Vision i grew up with as a kid. He was in that Avengers game and, at the time i got into comics, the primary Vision on the Avengers squad. I’ve always preferred that version of the character, mostly for nostalgia reasons, but i understood the red and green was classic styles. I carried no illusions about seeing a White Vision in the MCU but then BAM! WandaVision brings MY Vision to the Little Big Screen and i am forever grateful.

The sitcom aesthetic was a fun framing device. I really enjoyed recognizing all these shows that i used to watch growing up. When they hit me with the Malcolm in the Middle episode, i was the only one among my friends that immediately knew the reference. Malcolm is a lost gem, a classic in the sitcom hierarchy that more people should definitely watch. It f*cking launched Bryan Cranston’s career. We wouldn’t have Walter White if not for Hal Wilkerson.

Wanda’s Scarlet Witch costume is dope as f*ck. I was surprised she actually got a suit as, if i recall, her character wasn’t supposed to ever go full hero like that that. She even said the tiara thingy was dumb. Fast forward a decade later and there she is, tiara thingy and all.

The Meh

That Fox-Men Quicksilver bait was superfluous. Evan Peters was great, as always, but superfluous. His appearance in this show was unnecessary. A lot of people were crazy upset about the “reveal” but i didn’t care. I was pretty sure this show wasn’t going to be the mutant backdoor everyone wanted it to be.

The Bad

Monica’s origin kind of sucks. The actress, herself, did a great job with what he had but the overall character arc was a little flaccid. They did a disservice to Teyonah Parris with that. There were hints that she’s capable of much more, particularly the opening seen where she returns from the Snap, but that potential was never fully realized and it’s unfortunate. It makes her overall character feel inconsequential.

Also, the f*ck are those powers, man? Monica in the comics is a straight up powerhouse, especially in her current Spectrum persona. It’s a little ridiculous to me that she would get dog-walked so easily by literally anyone she came into contact with. Bro, Monica is on the Ultimates. She shares space with Black Panther, Blue Marvel, Captain Marvel, and America Chavez. T’Chala is a top ten genius in the Marvel Universe, so is Adam Brashear on top of being a living anti-mater generator, Carol Danvers is probably the most powerful human hero currently in the 616, and America can literally punch her way into other dimensions. And Monica’s power set slides right in line with those people. Plus, they have a pet Galactus. But MCU Monica stopped bullets by letting them Vision phase through her body kind off. The audacity!

They did my girl Agatha so wrong. When she was Agnes, she was dope as f*ck! I loved her insidious suggestion and the way she just inserted herself into everything; It was delicious! Kathryn Hahn was great as Agnes. And then she went full witch and lost all of that charm. It was so disappointing, you know? She was well on her way to becoming a second Justin Hammer only to be relegated to the same level of clownery as Yellowjacket or Malekith.

While touching on Agatha’s generic villain-ness, her climactic battle with Wanda was so cliche. It as really disappointing. You have two, dumb powerful witches, and you resort to what is effectively laser beam in the sky. There was a distinct lack of imagination for so much potential available.

How is Vision a Vision without the Mind Stone? That was the bulk of his power. How is White Vision doing the same thing without the literally cosmic forced that predates the universe, powering his abilities? Questions for later i guess?

The pacing in this thing is mad wonky. Those first three episodes upon re-watch drag like nobody’s business. It picks up after that for three or four more episodes, but you can definitely tell those last few were mad rushed. It’s a crazy uneven show altogether but i can’t say it really takes you out of it

Tyler Hayward is a terrible villain. Arguably, the worst.

The Verdict

WandaVision was pretty okay, definitely the right show for which to introduce us to Phase Four. That said, it peaked way too early, man. Like, i enjoyed this thing thoroughly, it's a nice start to what looks to be a darker turn for the MCU, but it felt kind of wonky. Bad pacing, man, and SO many loose strings to tie going forward. There were some lackluster character choices, Monica feels dumb underdeveloped, but all in all? Not bad. If this thing were a movie, I'd say it'd be about upper mid tier. About as good as Endgame and, say, Guardians II. WandaVision is better than everything in Phase One but staggers against the better films in Phase Two and doesn’t even touch It can't touch the best in the Franchise. Iron Man, Infinity War or Winter Soldier blow this show out of the water. As a vehicle for Wanda Maximoff, it is excellent. This is definitely her origin story, even if it doesn’t stick the landing as assuredly as i would have wanted.

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pkmnnovareset · 7 years

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*cackles* ALL FOR TIFA!

Oh my god anon are you trying to kill me b/c it’s working (JK but oh my shits 50 questions)

SO SORRY FOR HOW LATE THIS WAS OH MY GOSH there were like, a butt ton of questions so uhm… And I had to legit like, google stuff b/c i’m like “what is this????”… It definitely got me thinking about Tifa though! So thank you anyways!! :D

The Excessively Detailed Headcanon Meme

What does their bedroom look like?

Tifa’s bedroom is semi-messy with lots of hardware tools patterning on the walls, a hammer bed lamp, grey and white bedsheets with yellow lightning bolts on them. There’s a small little shelf with all her little PokeDolls lined up perfectly. And there’s another shelf with fairytale books: Peter Pan, The Jungle Book, and Treasure Island are the ones she reads the most.

On the other side of her room is a small side table with her iPod and speakers so she can play music. She tends to bring that into the workshop to listen when she works.

The walls of her room are a slate blue and white. She also has little Electric pokemon wall stickers on the walls.

Do they have any daily rituals?

The only daily rituals Tifa does would probably be: waking up, going to the bathroom, brush her teeth, put her earrings on, getting dressed, eat breakfast and feed her/the Pokemon, and then check what she has to do. Depending on what she has planned, she’ll either be in the workshop doing some tinkering and inventing, or she’ll be out and about.

Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

She does exercise! She does MMA and kickboxing! She will often go to the gym twice a week! She has also learned self-defence as an added bonus to her list of physical activities to do. She really does enjoy MMA and kickboxing tho, because it’s something else to keep her busy when she’s not in her father’s workshop tinkering and inventing stuff.

What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

She’d probably ask Parsley or Cilan if there are any leftovers in the fridge. Except then Parsley or Cilan would be like “no no no you need to eat fresh food” and they’d have her sit down at the dinning table to wait until they’re finished preparing and making dinner.

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

It’s somewhat messy, but it’s not clean either. She can still be able to find what she needs without shuffling around wondering where a certain item went.

Eating habits and sample daily menu

Oh man. Okay so she’s meticulous with her food and how she chews it. She likes to divide her food in her mouth in order to chew with both sides (if that makes sense?). Her meals are pretty different depending on what Cilan or Parsley makes. But she will always, always, have MooMoo Milk.

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

The one thing she’d probably do when she wants to do nothing at all would just lay in her bed listening to music. Asides from inventing and MMA, she loves listening to music. It calms her down a lot, especially if she’s getting stressed.

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

She’d probably eat an entire lemon meringue pie, to be honest, ha ha

Makeup?

Nope, she doesn’t wear makeup!

Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

She doesn’t have any, but she does recognize that people out there has mental illnesses. She’s not going to act as though she’s above them because she doesn’t experience what they experience.

Intellectual pursuits?

Probably one that gets her a job to invent stuff or restore old, broken down things and have them be brand spankin’ new again!

Favorite book genre?

Adventure and science-fiction!

Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

Tifa is bisexual/romantic! She believes that love is love, regardless of gender. As long as the person makes them happy, that’s all that matters. And if they’re nice to them, their family, and friends because that is also important.

Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

Nope, not that I can think of at the moment!

Biggest and smallest short term goal?

Her biggest short term goal is to start her own little side business/project in restoring old parts/machines/contraptions and such.

Her smallest short term goal is to just find spare parts to use in her next big project!

Biggest and smallest long term goal?

Her biggest long term goal is to get a formal education on engineering in order to open up her own business!

Her smallest long term goal is probably to practice how to cook!

Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

I’m confused about this one b/c i’m not sure if it’s like, an actual dress it’s asking, or the type of clothes she wears? So I’ll do both.

Tifa’s preferred outfits would be a plain t-shirt, overalls or jumpers, and her crop-top jacket. As long as she’s wearing anything comfortable and something she doesn’t mind getting dirty, then whatever.

Dresses on the other hand tho. She rarely wears dresses as she feels incredibly uncomfortable in them.

Favorite beverage?

She really loves Moo-Moo milk and orange juice

What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

Tifa thinks about what she can do inventing wise. Like if she’s currently working on a project, she’d be busy thinking about the parts, how to build the next bit, and so forth. It takes about an hour or two before she clonks out.

If she’s not working on anything, she’d just put on music in the background and fall asleep.

Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

She once ate a really bad chicken pot pie and ended up crouching over the toilet for hours on end. There was an instance where it got so bad she had to go to the hospital. Food poisoning. Ever since then, Tifa refused to eat chicken pot pie.

Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

I’ll stray away from the sexual turn ons/offs for now.

Tifa’s turn on would probably be her s/o expressing genuine interest in her hobbies and just engaging in conversation with her about said hobbies. She loves being able to share her work and her fondness about what she does to the people she cares about. Bonus if s/o catches on with the lingo and/or offers some semblance of help to Tifa in any upcoming projects.

Also lemon meringue pie. If her s/o bakes her lemon meringue pie, she’ll smooch you forever.

Her turn off would probably be if the person is acting snide, arrogant, and demeaning towards others. She hates it when people act as though they are better than others. She’s also not so keen on people being overly messy and expects her to clean up after them.

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

She would start drawing out plans and blueprints for her next project probably

How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

She’s not extremely organized, nor is she extremely disorganized. She’s somewhere in between. And it doesn’t really affect a lot of her everyday life. She’ll occasionally misplace a few tools here and there (maybe accidentally putting her drink and oil can next to each other), but other than that, she’s managed to get by well enough.

Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

She’s really good at engineering! She’s also great at physics but she prefers engineering a lot more. And funny enough, she’s sorta okay with computer science. But don’t tell anyone that!

How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

Making lots of neat inventions, fixing a bunch of broken things and restoring them to their glory - or better.

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

If her whole business with inventing and restoring falls through the roof, she doesn’t mind working at a garage as a mechanic! It wouldn’t be something that she’d LOVE, but she does enjoy it to a degree!

What is their biggest regret?

She doesn’t have one at the moment!

Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

She definitely seeks Parsley and Rose-Mary as her best friends. They’re her older siblings of course, but she loves how she can rely on them from time to time!

And if we’re bringing in other fankids into the mix, Tifa DEFINITELY sees @kataang36 / @pkmngame-fankids ‘ Hannah and @sydchan / @pkmnomegaverse‘s Colleen as her best friends!

Tifa currently doesn’t see or really HAS a worst enemy so to speak

Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

She’d just stare, gather her belongings if possible, and just walk up to someone to ask for help. She’d be pretty calm in the situation.

Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

Oh she’d be MORTIFIED! She hates thinking about the concept of death, so if one of her family members suddenly dies, she’d be cooped up in her room! She’ll definitely go through those how-many-number-idk stages of grief for sure.

Most prized possession?

Her pink ribbon that she wears in her hair!

Thoughts on material possessions in general?

She appreciates them, a lot. She would be heavily heartbroken if she loses her belongings or even her tools she uses to work. But she knows that she can buy a new set of tools. Not unless they were limited editions or things that possessed sentimental values. Then that’s a WHOLE different story.

If the things she owned had sentimental value, she would just be crushed if something happened to it. Crushed.

Concept of home and family?

Home is where you feel comfortable and the most yourself. Family are people you surround yourself with.

Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

She’s a pretty private person when it comes to the more intimate details. She’s shy and doesn’t really want to overshare things with people. But once you really get to know her, she’ll pour her heart out and would not be too scared to throw in some TMI things here and there!

What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

Tifa enjoys knitting but she finds it a bit too much - especially since she would rather use her hands to make or fix things. But she knows that knitting is really good for dexterity so she can’t really complain.

What makes them feel guilty?

Realizing that she’s wrong in an argument, or accidentally endangering someone from one of her inventions.

Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

It honestly depends on the situation! If it relates to her work, or if she’s being a mediator in something, she’d take the analytical route. If it personally affects her, she’d take the emotional route!

Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

Probably Type B

What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

Music, MMA, and lemon meringue pie!

Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

Neither! She’s modest in her abilities and she believes that everyone is great at something! Whether it’s one or two things!

How misanthropic are they?

Not very to be honest haha

Hobbies?

Inventing, restoring/fixing, MMA, fixing cars

How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

She got pretty far in formal education, but wishes to advance more! She thinks formal and self-education are both valid forms of education! When she was younger, she had to self-teach herself a few things (with help from Clemont and some of his engineering books as well!)

Religion?

Atheist

Superstitions or views on the occult?

Oh she’s pretty superstitious and thinks occult/witchcraft is pretty real. She wouldn’t mess with it though, especially since she knows nothing about it. But even if she DID, she would still not mess with it. It’s not her place to tangle herself up with something that could make or break.

Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

She does it by words! She’ll tell you over and over again how much she appreciates you, or how much you need to back the fuck off.

If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

Appearance wise, she leans more towards people with dark hair. For guys, she’d prefer if they were taller than her, but she’s fine if they were shorter. For girls, she’s okay with either. Best if the person takes care of themselves hygiene wise.

Personality wise, someone who’s fun, adventerous, and not afraid of the unknown! Someone who appreciates the bigger picture in life, and someone who can stand up for themselves.

How do they express love?

She’d be shy at first, but once she warms up, she’ll smile a lot when she’s around the people that she loves (platonically, romantically or familial, it’s all the same). She’ll also give them hugs!

If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

Well, I mean, she does MMA and kickboxing so… Lol.

Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

Yes. She’s afraid of death and what it brings to people around them. She hates the thought and concept of death and dying.

#pkmn fankids #tifatrialemon #mechtrioshipping #hc #anonymous #answered

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junker-town · 6 years

Text

THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE, Texas is just hopping mad

Texas leads a wide-ranging tour of the angry college football internet after Week 9.

Welcome back to THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE, your weekly rocket ship ride through the most infuriated regions of the college football galaxy. Last week, this page focused exclusively on Ohio State, because that was the only logical choice. This week, we’re taking a journey around a small handful of furious fanbases on the internet.

Texas lost to Oklahoma State, knocking the Longhorns out of the top 10.

Though they remain in the thick of a chaotic Big 12 race, it’s a disappointing moment for Tom Herman’s bunch. Said one Longhorn fan afterward:

I don’t want to watch football anymore

That was the title of a message board thread. This was the profound body:

And there you have it.

A former Texas linebacker got into a fast-escalating online beef with a current Texas cornerback, who’d been suspended for the first quarter.

Ex-Horn Emmanuel Acho initially defended the suspended Kris Boyd, because Texas sitting down a starting cornerback had the side effect of helping OSU get lots of yards:

I understand all the, “teach your players a lesson” tweets, but YALL understand, if Saban benched players everytime they violated team or American laws, Bama might not have a single national title.

— Emmanuel Acho (@thEMANacho) October 28, 2018

But then Acho — who’s now an ESPN analyst — got rougher.

Bruh, you can’t be late to meetings THEN come out here and get mossed. Your team needs you. #Texas #OkState

— Emmanuel Acho (@thEMANacho) October 28, 2018

And then he used the “trash” word ...

I can’t watch this dude play defense anymore. It’s actually trash. If you know. You know. #Texas

— Emmanuel Acho (@thEMANacho) October 28, 2018

... and said he wasn’t talking specifically about Boyd, but, uh:

Naw I feel u, and I didn’t say I was talking about Kris, I would never put nobody on front street like that... but anybody who feels that tweet applies to them should probably step up. I played hella trash games in my day lol. U grow and move on u feel me

— Emmanuel Acho (@thEMANacho) October 28, 2018

How’d Boyd respond? Aggressively.

Boyd going straight after Acho on Instagram. Smart. pic.twitter.com/0LuqqMGzl4

— Burnt Orange Nation (@BON_SBNation) October 28, 2018

Fortunately for Boyd, INSTAGRAM ASSAULT is not a violation of team rules.

One fan had a spicy take about what should be done to the game’s officiating crew: They should all be handed over to the mob.

Refs are screwing us again

The offsides on that 4th down was f%<*¥ing criminal. Somebody send the mafia to threaten the refs to pay these dickheads back for 2015.

Texas fans were livid at the officiating in 2015’s OSU-UT game, when a few apparent officiating errors went against the Horns. Every other Big 12 fan in the universe thought it was deeply ironic to see Texas fans upset about refs.

(Texas actually had a legit beef about that offside call, yeah. Oklahoma State sent a bunch of guys in a “motion” that looked a lot like emulating live play, and refs didn’t call a false start, but instead penalized the Horns for jumping off. The Horns also probably got away with a penalty in their end zone later in the game. Either way, Sicilian crime families must get involved.)

This Horns fan was MAD and only got MADDER when nobody wanted to join in being EXTREMELY MAD.

User TexasHorn started this thread on the team’s 247Sports message board before Texas’ body was even cold, while it was still the second half:

A COMPLETE JOKE

Dan Neil, we have our answer, NO, Texas is not mature enough to handle success

Being destroyed on national television - not sure if the Horns can recover before next week because wvu has a better team than osu

Nobody responded, so they added:

Sorry for being honest - where am I wrong guys, seriously?

Any one thrilled with this performance?

Still, nobody responded, so they added again:

Explain the off sides guys - want to argue the complete joke comment?

So tired or posting without any response - gutless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, someone replied:

We’re playing scared like a bunch of pussies. Coaches and players.

Persistence always pays off.

THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE is usually about fans, but Tom Herman is now the second head coach to make an appearance, thanks to the end of the game.

This is the sort of sprinting velocity that can only be generated by pure anger.

Recap of Tom Herman & Mike Gundy in the late scrap, their postgame handshake and Gundy's interview explanation pic.twitter.com/CMzJpKwzpw

— CJ Fogler (@cjzer0) October 28, 2018

(Herman and Mike Gundy are fine.)

Herman joins Jeremy Pruitt, who kicked a whiteboard and was thus included by rule:

Hey Knoxville... how's it going? #UFvsUT pic.twitter.com/HxplOn0uRQ

— Mike Gillespie (@MikeABCColumbia) September 23, 2018

Washington lost to Cal as a disappointing season became a total failure.

The Huskies are not even making a New Year’s Six bowl in Jake Browning’s senior year, two years after getting to the Playoff with him as a sophomore.

In some corners of the web, faith’s running short in Chris Petersen.

At HardcoreHusky.com, someone started a thread: People you have more faith in than CP, reflecting the fanbase’s growing impatience with Petersen, whose job titles are head coach, Guy Who Won a Million Games at Boise State, and Guy Who Got Washington to the College Football Playoff.

This was the only thing there:

Photo by Stephen Chernin/Getty Images

This was another fan’s measured response:

FUCK THSI PROGRUM IM FUCKING OUT

WE SUCK SND SHOULDNT LOSE TO CAL. WE ARE A LOSER PROGRUM. UPPER CAMPUS DGAF ABOUT WINNING. FIRE PEENERMAN. END TNIS FUCKING TEAM.I WANT DONG JAMES BACK. I WANT TO FUCKING WIN. NO JUAN IN THIS FANBASE HAS DTANDARS EXCEPT FOR THOS SITE. YOU GUYS GET ITZ PETERMAM DOES NOT. FUCK EVERYTHING.

Someone urged this poster to say calm:

Stay positive! Fuck Petersen!

But this blunt response to the loss pretty much summed it up:

We lost to cal

Lol I’m done. Fuck Husky football. Fuck Petersen. Fuck Browning. Fuck Haener. Fuck everything. Roll tide.

Maybe that sounds harsh, but UW fans have wanted Bama since early in 2016:

Settle down, Washington pic.twitter.com/4lnFCfcJ4i

— College Football by SB Nation (@SBNationCFB) September 3, 2016

Miami lost to Boston College, which means it’s time to look at how Hurricanes fans responded to the team’s official Twitter account in real time.

When Miami loses, checking Twitter’s important, because Canes fans are always the most direct in college football. The classic of this genre:

I’m gonna jump off a building

— Heat 3x (@Jbazo5D) September 3, 2018

As Boston College put a thumping on the Canes, fans responded well. Just follow along with various score updates and quarter breaks.

1. After the first Boston College score:

Already with the bs

— Howard Webster (@TbearCane17) October 26, 2018

2. After, um, a Miami score:

Right...embarrassing.

— Carlos Marante (@ItsACanesThing5) October 27, 2018

3. After another BC score:

Is this a retweet?

— Tucker McFall (@RealTuckMcFall) October 26, 2018

4. End of the first quarter!

pic.twitter.com/UqrP2scamn

— Brandon English (@BEnglish007) October 26, 2018

5. After some ostensibly good news?

Way to look at the bright side.

— Brandon English (@BEnglish007) October 27, 2018

6. After an actual good play:

Throw the ball in front of the receiver and it could've been 6

— Christopher Gray (@Barclayallday26) October 27, 2018

7. After a touchdown by Miami:

How on Gods green earth do you have a -5 yard punt return, inside the 10-yard line, with not one but TWO blocks in the back on the return? That's piss poor

— Tucker McFall (@RealTuckMcFall) October 27, 2018

8. After a defensive stop by Miami:

We must be trying to run the clock out....ridiculous

— umcane (@umcane26) October 27, 2018

9. Halftime!

Yes a dogfight with BC! Proud day for the Canes.

— Bryant Jensen (@Bjensen630) October 27, 2018

10. After another good play by Miami’s defense:

BC knows our QB can’t hit the side of a barn further than ten yards so they playing up on the line

— solidlifefitness (@solidlifefitnes) October 27, 2018

11. A little later:

This guy is worse than Jacory Harris

— The Bad Hombre (@jbjammin34) October 27, 2018

12. Things getting desperate:

Get Jimmy Johnson out of retirement

— John Bennett (@DirtyBirdz19) October 27, 2018

13. The Turnover Chain is out! This is good for Miami!

This is the most remedial offense I've ever seen

— The Bad Hombre (@jbjammin34) October 27, 2018

14. End of the third quarter!

Social Media dude.. let Coach know Malik ain't it. Thanks boss.

— Joey Inza (@JoeyInza) October 27, 2018

15. Game over.

Joke.

— Nick Alvarez (@NicksTake22) October 27, 2018

I’ve said it before, but Miami fans are the overprotective relative who will roast you all day but threaten to burn down the house of anyone else who criticizes you.

I respect and fear them in equal measure.

Ultimately, it was best to just step away.

recap, 3 stars, good, bad, and ugly up on https://t.co/W9gmsOyW7d i have nothing else to say. i'm going to play #RDR2 bye.

— StateOfTheU.com (@TheStateOfTheU) October 27, 2018

Florida lost to Georgia, ending the Gators’ dreams of winning the SEC East.

Gators fans were actually pretty reasonable about it. I don’t have jokes. I’m just making the note here so that you know I was as disappointed to learn this as you were. I checked.

In all kinds of weather, y'all, and go Gators pic.twitter.com/jTaaNcXnvS

— BUM CHILLUPS (@edsbs) October 27, 2018

And TCU lost to Kansas, thus earning automatic inclusion as the last team on this list.

Things are dark in Fort Worth.

Is this how Baylor Feels?

For the first time I am embarrassed to wear my TCU gear in public.

The last spot in this list is now just tradition, devoted to any team that might lose to Kansas in a given week.

In Week 3, a Rutgers fan asked after losing to KU: “What stage of grief are you in?”

They have grinded me down into not caring about college football at all just like the Knicks and the Mets have done in basketball and baseball respectively. In a way it’s good. I can enjoy my kids without having to give a hoot about the scores on Saturdays.

Before that, in Week 2, a fan of the MAC’s Central Michigan wrote this:

Fire Bonamego

I know I’ll hear a lot of the usual “it’s too soon in the season” and “MAC play hasn’t even started”, but I’ve been a die-hard supporter of the football program and I EXPECT us to compete against the power teams every year. There’s no reason that we can’t be like Boise State or better. We need to strive to be better and we shouldn’t settle for mediocracy.

Again, that was a MAC fan distraught about losing to a Big 12 team.

Congrats to the Horned Frogs and their fans on joining this prestigious club.

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itsjayyyy · 6 years

Text

September 18, 2018 4:53 pm

wow since it’s been a few days since an update, I had a lot of things to open this entry with, but of course only one topic can be the first i talk about. so, the most recent one: I was just laying in bed thinking about how I need to study for my bio exam tomorrow and also complete the next two modules for econ, but then I realized it’s tuesday and econ hw is due monday nights, and freaked out. I literally went through all five stages of grief, before I was like “it’s okay, it’s only the homework, the exam will pull my grade up” and opened my laptop to start reading for bio. but then I checked econ and apparently because there’s an exam this week, there wasn’t any homework due so HOLLA.

so this past weekend has been annoying, as always. I was at ioa for friday, but we only had three workers total (we normally have 6) for closing, so it was hell trying to close on time. and then saturday I went to usf, which is always hell. not to mention, hhn started so we had to spend an hour cleaning so the night crew would be set. and at the end of my shift, the usf manager has the nerve to say to me that she wants me to pick up some shifts this week. I tell her that I have four exams, and I’ll have to check my schedule, but she says “oh but your availability says you’re free after 4 on tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays” what the fuck!!!!!! don’t go looking at my availability when I’m not your employee!!!!!!! so I kept saying I had to study, I had to see, two of my exams are online, etc and she kept pushing for me to at least take shifts on friday afternoon and saturday, since I should be done with exams by then. I took the saturday shift because by this point my shift ended a minute ago and I wanted to leave, and told her I’d call her to let her know if I can take friday (I won’t.) SO SUNDAY I walk in to ioa (home sweet home), and we have a new coworker!!! And by new I mean he used to work at usf but transferred here permanently. What. “Oh jay we send you to usf because they’re understaffed and we’re overstaffed.” Okay. So I tell my manager that they’re stupid for accepting MORE workers when we have that issue, and she has the audacity to say to my face “oh it’s more than that, he didn’t like it at usf” as if I haven’t spent the last two months telling both ioa and usf managers that I hate usf. Okay. So Sunday, when I next work at ioa, I’m going to speak to my highest manager and tell her that she either tells the scheduler that I am not to work at usf again, or I quit. I have enough money in my savings account to last me a while.

wow. rose deadass drank 6 apple juice boxes out of the 8-pack we had. this bitch clearly doesn’t care if I starve huh.

so yesterday I met up with heather after class in the student union. did I mention how much I love cafe bustelo? I really love it. a good cafe con leche really warms me up. we talked for a while, then I walked her to class. In our conversation, our birthdays came up at some point (I think I said something along the lines of “you didn’t get me anything for my birthday this year! and she said “you didn’t get me anything either!”) and I was like “I bet you don’t even know my birthday” and she said april 22nd. and then later she was like yea well I bet you don’t know mine and i immediately said march 19, so she said she’d buy me starbucks today to make up for it.

today’s morning was really gr8 and also really un-gr8. like, I woke up at 7 thinking I had to leave the house at 8:30 for my ortho appt, and laid in bed for a while before finally getting up and showering. but when I stepped out of the shower and saw the time was 8, I realized that I didn’t leave the house at 8:30, my appointment was at 8:30. cue getting dressed while still partially damp, forgetting heather’s gov’t textbook, and going 75 in a 45 zone. I thank the gods daily that motorcycles don’t get red light tickets.

while driving down the main road leading to my university, I had this white car weaving between traffic. at one point he was behind me, but then when I slowed down in a turn he switched to the right, which ended up being right behind a campus shuttle (you know, the ones that drive 5 mph under the speed limit at all times and you can barely see around. and they’re diesel, ugh!). as he saw me speed up at the end of the curve, he switched back to behind me and sped up too, but as soon as I reached level with the front of the shuttle (and the pickup on the other side of me), I slammed on my brakes so he couldn’t try to go around. Definitely risked getting run the fuck over, but it was so worth it seeing the look of frustration on his face.

I got nearly instant karma, though, because he entered the university through the first turn, when I went for the second a little ways up since it’s closer to my garage. but the traffic light was down, so I had to merge into one lane with everyone else, and then they wouldn’t even allow left turns because it’s too complex for the person directing traffic, so I had to make a right then a u-turn. But it was made up for by the fact that the trike that normally parks in my spot was probably also deterred by the traffic, and I got to claim my righteous spot.

so when I got on campus, I went to heather’s class, or rather, the building it was in since I couldn’t find room 106 exactly. I remembered that my annoying coworker said that her classes were in that building + the one next to it also on tuesdays, but I thought that there was no way I’d actually bump into her considering there are over 60,000 students and the buildings are pretty large, plus I didn’t know what time her classes are.

well, now I know that her class gets out at the same time + same building as heather. we walked towards the starbucks (which is near her next class), and I introduced her to heather, we talked about how it was to work at universal, the sort. and then she was like “well I gotta go to class now, bye!” and i was like bye and smiled and when she was more than 20 feet away I turned to heather and said “that’s the coworker I told you that I hate.”

I love pumpkin spice season!!!!!!!! got a frappuccino tho, because it’s never truly fall in florida. heather got a mango dragonfruit refresher bc I recommended it to her, and it’s funny because the person ordering before us was also named heather and also ordered a mango dragonfruit. As a barista, that’s like my worst nightmare. Luckily they were able to tell it apart because the other heather got a grande. We sat in the starbucks for a while, I explained how weed is a lot more safe than cigarettes, talked about pine hills’ reputation, and how samantha’s mom is so damn disrespectful. This woman drove heather home one day when picking up samantha, and the whole ride was bragging about how samantha was going to be so successful because she’s majoring in some type of psychology and will be making over 90k a year. and then she turned the conversation to how teachers don’t make that much money, and she asks heather how she could do that, just take such a low-paying job. and lemme tell ya how MY GIRL HEATHER FUCKIN SNAPPED. she done said she tired of people saying teachers don’t make a lot of money yall. she said to samantha’s mom, “I don’t know how you’re looking down on my salary when you have three children from three different men with only a salary of $30k.” Y’ALL. the point that heather was trying to make the point that “people from working-class families act as if a salary less than 100k is unacceptable even for an unmarried, childless young adult despite working class families often having a household income of 50k while supporting children just fine,” but damn she really went there. goin off on this good catholic woman for having baby daddies. well samantha’s mom and samantha became very upset. and they told heather’s dad who would not leave her alone until she apologized. as in, he was banging on her door telling her she had to apologize. I said put headphones in and ignore it, she was like “girl you don’t understand haitian parents. my dad literally opened my door with a knife when I locked it.” so she had to apologize :/ but she also made it clear that she didn’t like the way samantha’s mom disrespected her. she tried to make it seem relatable, and be like, “oh what if i said that to your mom, wouldn’t you tell me to apologize” and I’m like???? no???? I would make my mom apologize for being disrespectful first the hell??? then I reminded her about how I literally lived on the streets for 3 weeks because my mom was disrespectful to me.

today after class I decided to take the city bus home, for 4 reasons: I wanted to stay humble and remember where I came from, I wanted time to be able to finish this book, not walking the last half-mile home every day this semester has caused some weight gain, and I really wanted to hold my parking spot against that damn trike, and it seems he comes too early in the morning for me, so I just left my bike there overnight. yea I’m petty.

The book was really good. It’s definitely a hard read, for sure. In the sense that it really will make you cry. At the end, it listed all of the school shooting victims since columbine, plus a small snippet about them (it was like 20 pages long). The one that really got me was an 8 year old, whose text read “shoot me first,” as he wanted to take a bullet so it wouldn’t be used against his classmates. Then, below that entry, a seven year old, who said “shoot me next.” Just typing that is making my eyes water again.

The walk home was super tiring. I’m super out of shape, it was hard for me to even imagine that I did this every single day the entire first semester of college. And I have to do it tomorrow morning again, ugh. Can you believe heather wakes up at 5:30 am???? I’m never seen out of bed before 7, and even then it’s only for things like appointments. But I guess I really should start waking up earlier, because whenever I get on campus around 8 I feel great because I have so much time to study and stuff. but that means I have to buy a coffee on campus, and I don’t know if I want to commit to that expense.

edit: so I originally posted this to my main, and when I saw that I copied it, then deleted it, then tried to paste it into a new post, but I guess I didn’t press ctrl hard enough because it didn’t copy. and I was about to cry bc this is close to 2k words, but then I realized I had a tab of my main open that still had the original post showing, so I copied from there.

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