#polysemy

[ghelgheli]

the challenging thing about "who calls who terrorists" is that the political enemy is not necessarily lying. often "they are terrorists" just means "they are enemies of the state of peace we built at their expense". not only can this be true without implicating the accused—its truth can implicate the accuser.

#text #i know some people ride on a century-old definition of terrorism that does not mean this but #polysemy #terror

[capfalcon]

as someone who studies media, one of my favorite things i've learned is that there's a literal word and explanation for fandom, and shipping in particular.

there's a word, polysemy, that relates to how media is always open for interpretation. after all, that's the point. no one sees any book, or movie, or music, exactly the same. there's always two or more interpretations of the same thing.

essentially, there are cracks in any piece of media that are up for analysis, and imagination. hence, shipping. yes, this character could be interpreted this way, but what if they weren't? what if someone saw them in an entirely different light? so it always makes me smile when people draw from canonical texts/media and talk about how they view it in a different light, whether a character is gay, or trans, or feels a certain way.

for instance, in one of my own personal ships, one character winces when his best friend talks about marrying a girl. is he possibly wincing because he's upset his friend is gonna marry someone he doesn't like? sure. is he possibly upset because he doesn't want his friend to leave? sure. could he also be upset because he loves his friend? sure. these little things, these gaps, they're my favorite part of media.

i've studied media for the past three years, but i've loved it since i was born, and my favorite thing was learning that there is an academic term for how fandoms operate, and how people can extrapolate from media.

#media studies #polysemy #if ur gonna google it make sure to add the word media polysemy #because polysemy on its own isn't really used as a word for this #it's a media theory so. if you want the definition that im using here #media polysemy. #jordan talks

[beyond-mogai-pride-flags]

Noma- Lesbian Pride Flag

Noma- or noman- (nomasexual, nomanromantic, etc.): Having attraction to every gender but binary men; or feeling attraction to all genders except men.

Lesbian: Label for queer attraction to women (QLW/WLQ); being gay for women (gay4women); homo sapphic (WLW/NBLW); or nonman attracted to nonmen (NMLNM).

Not the same as pencontra- lesbian, nomascic lesbian, trixen- lesbian, neptunic lesbian, nomin- lesbian, rosaean, or lilaen (lilae lesbian), but they may overlap with each other. Also note that both definitions are polysemous - have a variety of multiple meanings.

#nomansexual #nomaromantic #nominsexual #nominromantic #pencontrasexual #pencontraromantic #lilaen #neptunic #pride flags #lesbian flag #mod ap #faunic #feminosexual #feminoromantic #daunic #polysemy #mogai #liom #lesbianism #lesbians #les #lesb #lesbi #polysexual #multisexual #mspec lesbian #polisexual #ply #polyromantic #nomasbian

[arcticdementor]

#meme #found on twitter #anime #gundam #coke #polysemy

[mergist]

Polysemy, the way one symbol can have multiple referents, seems linked to how big language is allowed to get; the smaller your collection of tools the more creative you have to be with them. Gestures in dance or theatre are 'naturally' polysemous because they must stand in relation to multiple concepts.

Some forms take this as a challenge - for instance the rakugo comedian who tells a complicated story without standing up or using more than 1-2 very mild props. Or formal bhara-natyam, where dancers are expected to perform alone for a period of roughly two hours and convey a story from a repertoire of eleven gestures.

But this irks me: from my notes I have what turns out to be a part-quote from Marie-Laure Ryan, that "while polysemy is good for poetry it is bad for science".

Is polysemy good for poetry? I've read a little philosophy of poetry and encountered the idea that what makes a poem 'unparaphrasable', its warp and weft of meanings, is an artifact of the poetic reading itself - much like hyperintensionality, the condition where replacing a term with a logical equivalent no longer works as we would hope, is a byproduct of a context where we care about something (anything) more than logical equivalence. Put more poetically, taking a thing as unique is the recognition of its own self-contained unity, where otherwise from synonymy springs a counterfactual forest.

And while sciences expand language by coining new terms, where we might say that the arts coin new meanings, that's all in service of an ultimate simplification. It benefits us very much to speak polysemically of things we once took to be unrelated, like electricity and magnetism or the motion of planets and the fall of pianos. The Standard Model and the axioms of ZFC both attempt to speak of, ground, all possible phenomena without losing their structure and dissolving into simple reflection ("for all A, A is A"). A model's use is the number of things it can faithfully represent, and useful models proliferate.

I'm being a bit unfair to Ryan, whose next (full) sentence is "It is better to work with a large collection of sharp tools that fulfill precise tasks, rather than a single blunt one, even if everyone cannot share the tools." This is pragmatically and straightforwardly true, and yet the struggle against polysemy that produces these tools, the attempt at doing/saying/pointing-out exactly one thing (and thereby taking that thing as unique), is just as desperately needed in the arts.

Polysemy is the limit natural to language and to communication in general, that there are always fewer words than there are things to be discussed with them. As LM once said, the fundamental issue isn't finding the right adjectives but that adjectives shouldn't have to exist in the first place. We live in a world composed only of uniquenesses, and communication can only serve us insofar as it obscures them.

#philosophy of language #polysemy #hyperintensionality #semiotics

[characterswithcolorsnamesfight]

Hello, please excuse me for barging in with a relatively long text. I'm not trying to be rude, but I will probably come across as smart-ass anon. If I'm horribly wrong someone can correct me. I just want everyone to be aware and to watch out and double check when in doubt.

I think, you should be careful with characters named Aoi claiming to mean blue in Japanese. More often Aoi as a name is not blue and even some fandom wikis have it wrong.

But there is a simple rule...

Aoi written with the Kanji 葵 is not blue. It is a noun meaning hollyhock (a plant with very nice flowers!).

Aoi written with Kanji 青い is an adjective meaning blue, blue-ish. The noun for the blue, the blueness, would be Ao (青) without the "i". You can see the colour meaning with Ao (青) more in compound names like Aoyama (青山 green mountain*) or Aozora (青空 blue sky) for example.

So it might be more common to name characters and actual children after a flower. Instead of the adjective blue-ish.

Finally, there is also the Aoi who is not written in Kanji but simply with あおい or アオイ. As here no descriptive Kanji are used, the meaning is open to interpretation and what might more fitting to the character (is the character more a flowery type or a blue type due to hair or clothes? Or maybe both a flowery type with a lot of blue colour theme in the character design?).

*I use green mountain rather than blue mountain in a translation. Japanese doesn't necessarily distinguish blue and green. Ao/Aoi can indeed mean both blue and green.

This is a japanese dictionary for English: https://ejje.weblio.jp/

You can just copy paste any Kanji and it will put the English meaning. It also works the other way round.

I know it's just a fun tournament and it's not meant to be a science. I just wanted to place this here for the sake of fairness. I hope it was at least somewhat informative or worth knowing.

Hi !

As someone who tends to apologize too much in real life, please don't apologize, it wasn't necessary. It didn't sound rude or mean spirited at all and I'll never blame someone for sharing their knowledge respectfully.

I've worked on a tournament before and got more familiar with kanji (including non descriptive ones) then -I'm still not an expert but I understand the system better than I previously did-. That doesn't work that well with non descriptive kanjis but just copy-pasting kanjis in the images search engine also helps. There are two ways of writing Sakura with descriptive kanjis (one is more used in first names and means cherry blossom and I can be wrong but from memory the other one is about warehouse and help and used for surnames)

I knew for the polysemy of Aoi because you all are champions for saying "I know the original meaning isn't xxx but -" but some submitters didn't seem aware of it (well I prefer to think they weren't. This is a silly tourney and honesty is the basis of courtesy)

I didn't know about blue and green, that was very enlightening. I'm glad many more people think green and blue look quite similar (we have a family running joke about never agreeing on colors, especially not blue VS green. "Look how blue the lake is." "What are you on ? Looks green." "More black-ish imo." "Take of your sunglasses. It's blue-green you all" "What do you mean green, it's obviously teal", "Isn't teal a green shade ??" "No, it's blue" "Wait let me check with my phone")

Thank you for the Japanese dictionary, I browsed a few for tourney purpose before but didn't know how accurate they were.

I wasn't planning to accept characters with wrong kanji without and make you all decide about the ones with a good explanation on a case by case basis. I'm also putting explanations for non English names and rarer English names on all the polls. This is comforting me in my choice.

You're welcome to bang on my door and teach me more about linguistics anytime !

Thank you for your research ! Have a lovely day !

#not polls #asks and answers #kanji #polysemy

[mrskellylove]

Summer Series of Saves: analysis is life

View On WordPress

#@gacruz_phd #analysis #idiological fragments #lyric #Poetry #polysemy

[kke6rfb7o]

Asian Girl Strips On The Table And Gets Ass Fucked Pigtard wagging its tail trying to earn a feeding Zimbabwean Musician Maffcat Sextape With Peter Moyo Wife Straight hunks with those big hairy cocks and guys fucking gay xxx Asian teen chick cheats on her BF with his stepbrother Pretty blonde Riley Reyes nuru massage Hot Threesome With A Cum Hungry Slut Raven Bay and Amy Brooke harcore pornstar Threesome Sexy horny mature Sensual Jane gets snatch loving action

#thermatology #Bosjesman #graceful #perididymitis #poltergeist #soundboxes #Hexagrammos #sulfazide #distortional #intermingled #sarabands #campulitropous #bandfiling #hand-built #vine-dresser #spitzflute #polysemy #butylate #hedging #Wolffian

[gogogolem]

Polysemy, 2022. Acrylic on gessoed panel, W66 x H60cm. #contemporarypainting #contemporaryart #paint #palimpsest #archaeology #neolithic #polysemy #πολύσῆμα #speculation (at Radnor Forest) https://www.instagram.com/p/CmGhYodoYXw/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#contemporarypainting #contemporaryart #paint #palimpsest #archaeology #neolithic #polysemy #πολύσῆμα #speculation

[lexnadalex]

Polysemy occurs when one word, sign, or symbol has multiple meanings. In the case of music, multiple artists may share the same name. For example, MusicBrainz has three artists with the artist name “Death.” In order to distinguish between these three artists, and any future artists of the same name, editors use the comment field to enter a description that distinguishes the Deaths from one another. The three artists called Death are “the death metal band of Chuck Schuldiner,” “German Techno producer Thomas P. Heckmann,” and “70s punk/hard-rock trio (brothers Hackney) from Detroit.” Artists are also identified as “Person,” for an individual artist, or “Group,” further aiding differentiation. There are six artists named “John Smith” in MusicBrainz, with disambiguation comments similar to those for the bands called Death.

- Josh Hemerly, Making Metadata (2011)

#quotes #information science #MusicBrainz #death #polysemy

[thefirstknife]

Speaking of weird things in the season already, I'm back with the obsession with names of things in the seasonal activity.

So in Riven's Lair, you get randomly assigned "missions" that change with each run. I believe there's five of them as I've played a lot of Riven's Lair so far and only got these five to rotate. Maybe there will be more in weeks to come!

Anyway, if you look in the top left corner when you start the activity, it will tell you the name of the mission you're on. The names that I've seen so far are:

Polysemy

Apophasis

Synchysis

Enthymeme

Tautology

Long post under:

These aren't random words! They're all related to language and rhetoric, which makes sense with the Ahamkara theme as Ahamkara are very dependent on the way language is used around them.

Polysemy is when words or symbols are capable of having multiple meanings. Apophasis is when you speak about something by denying it or mentioning it by saying it's not required to be mentioned (def check examples on wikipedia if this is confusing). Synchysis is also a way of speaking in a way that deliberately messes up the order of words to confuse or surprise the person you're speaking to. Enthymeme is a type of an argument where you construct a sentence which tells some sort of a fact by omitting the way you came to that conclusion because the fact should be obvious on its own (again, check wiki for examples, it will be easier to understand). And tautology has a meaning in both language and logic; in language, a tautology is a statement that repeats something, adding redundant information and in logic, a tautology is a logical formula in which a sentence is constructed in a way that every interpretation of the sentence is true.

I doubt these words were chosen randomly and there might be more or perhaps more will cycle in during weeks to come. But even with just this, there's a pattern. I'm not sure which meaning of tautology is being used here; possibly the language one because it fits the rest, but the logic interpretation could also be possible.

The first week's mission was also specifically Polysemy:

I assume next weeks we'll probably do other specific ones in some order, which would also mean there should be at least 2 more. I'm wondering if there's some sort of a reason why these specific words were chosen. Obviously they all relate to forms of speaking and language which is the primary way that Ahamkara use to affect reality; speaking in specific terminology and using particular phrases and language forms is important to them and when speaking to them.

But given the involvement of the Vex, it also reminded me of the lore book Aspect in which every chapter is named after grammatical, linguistic and logic terms. Aspect is also specifically related to the Black Garden and Sol Divisive. Not only that, but Aspect deals with, among other things, the fate of the Ishtar scientists and their copies in the Vex Network, and primarily uses Chioma as their main viewpoint, and the whole situation with Neomuna and Veil Logs has returned my interest in this lore book.

I feel like it isn't a coincidence that we've spent essentially the entire year reacquainting ourselves with Chioma and Maya and Ishtar as a whole only to bring back Sol Divisive and the Black Garden back in the final season in this way. As the Veil Logs told us, one of Maya's copies interfered with one of the logs, sending signals, and Chioma, at the end of her life, contacted the Vex presumably to be consumed by the network so she could possibly reunite with one of the copies of Maya in there.

This brought me also to the mysterious signal from Scatter Signal lore tab in which Osiris tracks down some sort of a signal that seems to be talking about the Vex, but spoken in a strange way. So I began thinking that this signal might be coming from Chioma, consumed by the Vex, from the Vex Network, reaching out to the man who's been studying her, living in Neomuna and researching the Veil for months. Specifically, the final Veil Log mentioned a few similar words and phrases being repeated. Specifically, when Osiris mentions that Chioma was researching "the entaglement of Light and Dark" and when Nimbus and Osiris discuss "parallel connections and parallel energy fields;" then in the Scatter Signal message there's mention of how, presumably, the Vex are trying to "move from parallel to entanglement." The Veil Log also talks about how the Witness can communicate through our Ghosts and how that connection might be going both ways; Scatter Signal also mentions "bridging communion with a Voice."

Copies of Chioma and the other scientists (with the help of Praedyth) once tried to use the Black Garden to send a message out of the Vex Network, detailed in Aspect. We don't know if they succeeded (at least in our current timeline). The Black Garden has been a big focus in Lightfall almost out of nowhere in such an immensely world-changing way (with the explanation of the Black Heart), and it will still be important this season with the exotic mission. It's a very pleasing loop of the story; everything started with the Black Garden in D1 and everything just before TFS might end with it. I'm also incredibly intrigued by the fact that the returning weapons from Undying (a season about the Sol Divisive and the Black Garden) have returned with a new perk called nano-munitions: very Neomuna-sounding name. Perhaps certain Ishtar scientists are influencing the Vex or extending a helping hand to us.

The questions that remain: how does this tie back to the Ahamkara? Why are the Vex interested in the Ahamkara? What do the Ahamkara have to do with the Black Garden? What's with all the strange language terminology that deals with double meanings and ways to confuse? Is it just regular Ahamkara shenanigans to trick us? To trick the Vex? Maybe both?

The point is, I don't think this is as simple as Riven just being sad that all the Ahamkara are dead and wanting to secure her clutch. Nothing is ever simple with the Ahamkara and nothing is ever simple with the Vex; and now we're dealing with both. And somewhere in all of this, there is also a concerning involvement of the Black Garden that connects to both of these elements. At the end of it all, there's us, who rely on this specific combination of elements to get through the portal, pursue the Witness and save the universe.

Spreading the brain worms to the rest of y'all to think about. If you spot any other mission names, feel free to share, though I think that if they happen, they might happen in the coming weeks. Also as I mentioned before, I know there's been leaks and lore tabs unlocking early on Ishtar: I've not seen any leaks or cutscenes and have not read any lore tabs that aren't explicitly visible in-game so if there's a really simple answer in that leaked material, I don't know about it and don't want to know about it so please don't spoil to me or to others!

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #season of the wish #season of the wish spoilers #ahamkara #vex #black garden #lore vibing #long post #it took me a few runs to notice the names in riven's lair ngl. i was not paying attention to that at all #it was a few runs in when i realised there's weird words as 'missions' and then remembered polysemy being the first separate one #and whenever there's words like this they're there for a reason. they weren't picked randomly #it's so interesting to try and decipher why the writers chose those in particular #if anyone has any other ideas for them feel free to speculate! #also getting the feeling that the vex are taking a crack at paracausality #therefore their interest in the ahamkara. perhaps even taking a crack at also following through the portal #whatever they're doing it can't be good. i'm going insane #if anything. it's setup for them being a big threat post-TFS

[napneeders]

uhhhh thinking about penetration metaphors again, less as a symbol and more as a proxy and like. stede exposing izzy by taking the sword on the left

#and stede is pinned but Izzy's the one who's stuck #(whee polysemy) #does this make sense #stizzy #izzy hands #swordfighting #bit like Lucius taking the sword on the left? #hang on why are we not using that as a euphemism for homosexuality #and like (obviously) if Izzy knows that this is Ed's move

[capfalcon]

you know what i love about taskmaster, and greg and alex? how they're simultaneously playing themselves and playing characters. like the running theme of alex being in love with greg, or them being in a (toxic) cute relationship, etc etc. it's the same as greg playing the "taskmaster" persona, even though it's very often referenced that alex is actually the one who comes up with the tasks, and is in fact, the creator of the show.

i like it because it lets the audience, especially the ones who watch often, in on the joke, but it's still funny if you're new. also, it creates this fun caricature persona that's in love with his assistant, who adores him, and that's lovely. i like it because it's almost a form of theatre within a show. the audience knows when they're talking about themselves, the humans, or the characters, the people in a show. it keeps the show entertaining despite an ever roating cast, and it can follow almost a narrative storyline, which is important for viewer retention.

#sorry i am back in my media studies degree bullshit #polysemy!!!!!! my favorite media term Ever. so good. #taskmaster #greg davies/alex horne #greg davies #alex horne #tm #jordan talks

[arcticdementor]

Tumblr ads

So, I was noticing recently my Tumblr dashboard has been stuffed with ads for “manscaping” products…

…and then I wondered if it maybe had something to do with my many recent posts tagged with #groomers.

#tumblr #ads #algorithms #polysemy

[morgans-apologist]

Invisible Polysemy

I consistently excel at invisible polysemy. Some people may call that just vague creativity.

At least I think they would if they knew what that term means, So perhaps I'll explain in ways that's known only to me.

In the form of a dream. One that sleeps infinitely. This dream will dream in ways that seems it's only reaching me,

And those are everything to me, and the things that are not. It turns and tosses daily. It causes things that I can't stop.

This dream should have a name, but one that's not misleading. We should call it "Dream" cause that name is so appealing.

There's nothing I'm concealing here, take everything at face value, But I'm worth the words that curse me so what price am I you?

Of course I get no response. After all he's still sleeping. He's in my bed. He's in my head. He's in the walls that I've been painting.

These walls, made of fire. You take one look and run, But I am dancing in the flames cause this is my idea of fun.

Dream is a man a part of me, he shows me what he dreams, And every night I fight. If he sleeps his life away, what's that make me?

I must stay awake. That is my true purpose. For I can't see a single thing if my eyes labeled me as worthless,

But that is how things are now. Reality is inception. Every second a false awakening will plague my true expression.

You only see these burning walls and the fucked up paintings in the halls. You don't see, what's underneath are all the things that I'm enthralled.

Insulated personalities made of dreams that you aren't proud to be, But I'm the one that set them ablaze. No more masks around to see,

But you don't act like it's astounding. You aren't impressed? Can you not see? All the effort I put in into this dream you call reality?

What if Dream woke up? What if I had slept? Would the universe die? The creators inside of me, would they have wept?

I should never overstep my purpose to inconvenience you, I'm worthless. I should just go cry inside and wash these walls with all your burdens.

Maybe then I could finally be something you'd expect of me. These normal bedroom walls are nothing strange, I'm a human being!!

So down the rabbit hole we go. I'm just getting started. I have eternity to explain the problems that make me lethargic.

When I look in the mirror, I'm a humanoid universe. Is this the nature of Dream? Am I just a sleeping curse?

The moments I wake up is simply nothing. It's just blackness. My life is lived in dreams that's based on self esteem and madness.

My reality doesn't exist. I live in worlds that you insist. I have to coexist with dreams consisting of the things I must dismiss.

I have graveyards in my backyard and diseases in my arms. I have crows flying over that knows no medicine in their hearts.

Plucking the value of all the people that's dead, and now you come after me. A lifeless form that constantly gives these corpses dreams and clarity.

I have rabbits in my head, they use my throat as a rabbit hole. I feed these fiends food and drinks and it makes me sick when they take control.

I have oceans in my closet. I have cages in my basement. I have several different people living here as my replacement.

I have playgrounds of pain, and some of us think that's insane, But then there's some of us who use it as the only form of playing.

I have poems and altered memories in my dreams I can't redeem. I have to believe that everything that was is who I came to be.

I have guns. I have knives. I have an arsenal of weaponry That these people in my home would use to have it threaten me.

What are the value of these words? Can what I say be trusted? Do you think you understand the simple things among each subject?

You see with your eyes and you hear with your ears, But people tell me I can't live that way. Not with how things are here.

You take it at face value when I'm screaming to look deeper. The more I dig and search inside myself, the more I find new features.

So I dig and I dig down. Pushing everything out of the way. Maybe I'll find something at the depths of who I am in any way,

But the more I dig and search, the more I remove what's always there, And now there's a hole in my chest from soul searching and no profit to make it fair.

I'm a grave digger. A crow. I feed on such defenseless people. Six feet to me is just a dream when nothings really equal.

My life, my identity; It's fair game to every part of me. There's crows and crickets filling pools of nothing I can see.

Maybe they represent my thoughts? I swallow my words and bite my tongue. I drink my blood because of the things I did. It makes me sick and numb

Maybe that's why toilets scare me. Maybe that's why I like to throw up. Maybe the wonderland I understand just won't let me grow up.

Maybe these pools full of nothing are being filled by things I think, And the rabbits come to eat away what leaves me on the brink,

But I am comfortable on the edge and I am beautiful in the dark, And I don't need a force of light to feed on no one's bad remarks.

This rabbit in my stomach; I want it to crave, I want it to starve. I want that desperation to feed off the things my mind has carved

My heart is like an asteroid, crashing against my chest, it breaks. They cause these tremors that last forever. It's like an eternal earthquake.

Maybe that's just decisions. Questions with answers I can't envision. They crash in my skull and paint the halls with incredible superstition.

Everything is fundamental when each choice is life or death. I hear your inconvenience talking when I can't dare to waste a breath.

I have threads and I have needles that sew my mouth shut. With blood in my mouth there's people screaming, but I don't know from what.

My wrists and arms are screwed together. There's knives in front of me, And I'm told to free myself and speak and choose to give what people need.

I see food and phones and houses. I see values and ideals, And any normal person here would probably choose to have a meal.

They have both hands and a map and a video guide of what to do When I'm at the mercy of a sadistic torturer who pities you.

I have ghosts floating around that boast their freedom and they criticize me. They yell and laugh and graft it on my brain to penalize me.

The alarm clock on the wall has set a timer for 5 seconds. If I don't loose the screws and cut the thread to choose, then I get threatened.

Have you been really trying to listen? Take everything at face value. There is no deeper meaning to what I'm saying that isn't true.

It's just a bunch of words. Strange phrases that can't be followed or heard. It's pain that's taken a life to gain, and you think that this doesn't hurt?

You don't need to understand. Just get lost in my wonderland. The place I live in everyday and dream of ways to change this thing I am.

I am my own world, and on my shoulders holds emotions, And they're crying storms, preventing the normal people from treading this ocean.

You don't truly enjoy the rain, you stay inside and feed your pride. If there was someone else that's right, you'd kill him just to make sure he's alive.

You're judging my dreams and burning walls but you're only adding fuel. I can't appreciate toxic actions if your intentions stay as cruel.

Maybe you're the fool, and you know that. It's been considered, But you advance and leap at every chance to make sure I'm who's hindered.

Insanity isn't thinking that "my horrible problems made me". It's opening your eyes and seeing that everyone alive is just as crazy.

Everyone around me, they're all crazy. They've gone mad. They carry voodoo dolls and haunt themselves with pain that they never had.

I look around at the world with my paintbrush. I paint the air, With beautiful colors that everyone smothers with pain and they act like it wasn't there.

I can't see. My eyes deceived me. I can't even breathe in all this hate. Am I to blame for what my eyes became and the thoughts my mind would state?

I'd go blind if I don't color the sun in polarized blue, Cause there's no such thing as darkness when im in front of you.

Hoodies, hats and glasses. They're my safe havens, my shades. When the world is flashing, colored, and lagging that blue hue is how I'm saved.

The blue hue, and the system. This shaded circle of chairs. It's a meeting of puppets and how they decide to convince me they're really there.

The person pulling the strings, I don't know his name but he looks like me. Why do I always try to convince myself that things aren't what they seem?

The world loves giving examples, similes and metaphors. Subjective comparisons that are invalid and unasked for.

Like, "light at the end of the tunnel" or "life is a box of chocolates", Or maybe "life is like a journey. You won't find happiness in your pocket",

Or "every rose has it's thorn". That's a common one, But I create my own every time that puppet masters done.

If I were a rose in a garden of hearts, I'd water it in the rain. During the days, during the nights. I have to water it through it's pain.

It has to be healthy, it has to grow. There's nothing wrong with giving more right? More water means more effort means more of a chance to see the light.

You stand over my drowning body, pouring water down my throat. You're saying it helps me. I'm growing and healthy, but we aren't in the same boat.

The surface is a wall and I can't push through. No gardens, no dreams, no polarized blue.

No burning walls or painted halls. No insulation here. Just the open ocean depths and overwhelming weight of fear.

I look around and see a sea of corpses, they all relate to me. Nobody thinks for a second that I might just feel differently.

That I might just be a little worse and I might not be exaggerating. Maybe I'm not trying to compete but that's precisely what I'm advocating.

Being selfish is okay sometimes, my issues are severe. Don't compare them with your inconvenient lives. I don't care.

I paint this picture with these mirrors so I can self reflect more clearly, But treating me like I'm nothing special just makes me wanna fear me.

I have a person in my head, using a typewriter for poetry. Everything I write and think and feel gets printed knowingly,

There's no room for these words. For these thoughts and emotions. It simply takes up too much space. It's causing way too much commotion.

Everything I write just gets repeated over and over again. Nothing ever changes, this is how it's always been.

How long do I have to be the same thing For you to understand a fraction of the stress it's causing me?

I hate what I love and I love what I hate. I have no personality that I didn't create.

I get upset with others for the things they always do, But I do the same things. I'm a person just like you.

I'm constantly aware of this. It's not something that I dismiss. Hating you means hating me, there simply is no difference.

I give and I don't receive. That's not something people conceive. They see me being nice and taking advice but then they turn and leave.

I know that that's not right but I shouldn't demand these expectations. I am the only person of whom I have an obligation.

I'm the only one I can criticize for the things that I don't realize. Even if I'm doing right by you, I'm a villain in disguise.

I'm a walking, human mirror. I'm the reflection of what you want of me. I critique the things you think and feel but not what I have come to be.

I'm a perfect, spitting image of the things I hate in you, Cause I force myself to be the things you need when no one's there for you.

I just don't exist, and every person disagrees with this. That's cause they're a victim of the villainy I commit.

No one can truly see the real person deep inside of me. I've changed and molded my whole being to let you lie to me.

I was criticized and hated for being whatever I was back then. I don't have the mental strength just to let that happen again.

So I changed and rearranged all the things you saw as deranged. I became a symbol of what they need of me, but it was not a free exchange.

I no longer have a me to be. No definite personality. Every trait I have today is for the people that surround me.

I imagine myself frequently what I would be if you weren't here. I just feel empty, less than nothing. Not even a problem here to fear.

Friends, family, enemies; all these people created me. If I resent them for the things they say and do then I'm just hating me.

I live my life for you. Its my only source of satisfaction, And I despise any reaction that isn't what I want to happen.

I have lights but no power. I live life in only an hour, And every time I close my eyes, my mind would show me bloody showers.

Now there's luminescent closets. Now there's sinks but with no faucets. I have doctors awkwardly explaining how I haven't lost it.

I have shadow casted statues of all the actions my mind passed through. I have screaming crickets, bleeding spigots and nothing to fall back to.

I have a stage in front of the world where I'm just screaming bloody rage. There's autographs and people cheering, but all I am is this one page.

If they could see my eyes that's filled with ink, or my bruised skin that's blue and pink, Or the hidden actions fantasized behind the thoughts I think.

If they could see the blood that's seeping from my mouth and what they're missing. I see the mirror and the pain; I take a drink, but they see kissing.

Am I drunk on pain or in love with it? Tell me, is there a difference? Does my ignorance of life entertain and pique your interest?

I have libraries of poetry that don't make sense to anyone. They just read and show their sympathies without understanding one.

My life is like a mansion with these windows of time. I look out the back and see the past without knowing if it's mine.

The statues and the crickets and the pools and the spigots. All the uninvited guests that's living here, they never visit.

The basement and the attic and Jacob's place of rest. Evelyn's closet, buried under trash and clothes, hiding from the guests.

The mirrors and the storm and the House of Death outside. The demon in the corner, there's nowhere left to hide.

There's thousands of me here today, staring at the moonlight, All panicking and running around, trying to do what's right.

I put on my hood and my blindfold, dripping blood from screwed in holes. With binded eyes that's filled with ink and lies, the pain would take control.

I have no problem with you. I merely want to be good friends. I want less tension and correction from all the trauma that didn't end.

I want attention and protection, I want love and affection. I want somebody who's words aren't filled with suspicion.

You tell me you care, but you don't call and you don't text. You don't give gifts or write me notes, well I guess what should I expect?

I cant expect you to care nearly as much as I. I guess unrequited affection is what im best at in life.

I'm that weird kid, that waits for hours outside your work To give you your birthday gift and I get yelled at and end up hurt.

I'm the one that pays for a vacation when your family is too much for you. When school and friends and drama get to be too much im there for you.

You use the hotel and the kindness I give to manipulate and rape me And now I believe every word every time someone would blame me.

When everyone turns against you and you have nobody else, I'm the who's standing up for that one person who needs help.

When you get embarrassed in front of friends, I'll embarrass myself too. I cant expect you to truly live if all the tension is on you.

I'll save thousands of dollars to do something nice. But when that time comes around, I'll no doubt, pay the price.

I am Invisible. Nobody can see me. Everyone says they care but none of you really need me.

I've never gotten a random gift. I've never felt true affection. I've never been in a situation where I felt a real connection.

Reciprocated love is all that I want. And people think its easy just because im being blunt.

None of you prove you care. All I hear are empty words. My hallucinations are more genuine than you, and the thought of that just hurts.

Invisible Polysemy is the best definition, For all the things I try to be that doesn't get any recognition.

All this effort, all this stress, and never a second where I digress. All for what?? For you to guess that all my problems just regress?

I shouldn't force these expectations. I shouldn't be mad at you. I shouldn't waste my time with people who can't see what has ensued.

I shouldn't think that you don't care. I shouldn't act like you aren't there, But anyone who knows me knows, I'm not asking for much here.

Nobody reciprocates a fraction of what I give, And the only satisfaction I get in life is helping others live.

I can be best described as Invisible Polysemy. Nobody can see the deeper meanings I keep inside of me.

I'm just a poem no one reads or even cares to understand. They don't understand the layers I've put in to who I am.

I can only blame myself for all the things that I don't mention, But asking for help is the same as begging for attention.





#invisible polysemy #poetry #mental illness

[mishkakagehishka]

Sometimes i feel stupid truly

#oxford dictionary love of my life i guess #so cost IS the verb. yknow what looking at it from a positive side #vocab/polysemy? lacking. but sentence elements? ya girl saw the adverb and went that's the fucking verb <3