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caandlelit · 4 years

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HATE to that person but do you wanna give up some league in quarantine hcs, maybe with hawks depending on if you hate him rn

oh my fucking god ur asking me for quarantine hcs,,,,,,,, lets take a moment to acknowledge that thats a thing that you just did,,,,

like ill dO IT but like,,, after im done laughing my ass off 2020 is off the shits

okay so this is like assuming that the league are all chill and vibing and alive at the time of corona alright

no one is in a glass jar pulling a mewtwo yet, no one is in jail with their past being revealed yet, no one is TRYING TO KILL TWICE

its corona time

so there would be absolutely no change in shigaraki’s behavior he already just sits around inside gaming and slash or planning a revolution and both of these are strictly indoor activities

theyre not even allowed to take mariokart out of his room

kurogiri forbid it after toga made an attempt on dabi’s life

so shigaraki finds out theyre in quarantine when he realizes

dabi hasnt disappeared mysteriously and come back looking like someone mauled his neck for a whole week !

naturally he walks blearily out of his room at an ungodly hour bc he got thirsty and sees spinner, twice and toga playing monopoly while dabi sulks on the couch and hes like

‘what the fuck is going on’

kurogiri takes precautions !!!

not in a rich white person way

more like

hes sanitizing the bar more often

he makes sure the gang has masks for if they feel the need to yolo and venture outside

he makes a dramatic speech

‘so im sure ur all wondering why ive asked you here’

‘we cant leave kurogiri just get on with it’ - bitchy and tired and emo

hes embarrassed about it but he goes on

‘please,,,, im begging you all,,,,,,, wash your hands i know some of you think of yourselves as above it but tomura i am begging-’

look im not calling him out or anything, no tomura hate i think hes very sexy (now... he wasnt at the start)

but does he LOOK like the kind of guy whos always washed his hands after pissing ? nO he looks like the guy who was recently cornered by his friends to under no uncertain terms, ‘wash your hair you can scheme later’

hes had a lot of character growth

toga is really incredibly disappointed nothing is happening this sucks

sticks up a one of those small whiteboards up on the wall in the bar

it says in bright red marker ‘⬜ days since quarantine’

shes also one of those ‘fearless’ kids,,,,

shes like ‘no illness can hurt me im not afraid !!!’

sneezes once and she sits wondering if she should panic

starts wearing the mask,,,,

jin is kinda like

just walking around as cool as you please

and compress, whos been freaking and panicking since day one, corners him and hes like ‘why ! arent ! you ! affected !’

‘i wear a mask !!!!!!!!!!! daily!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck could HAPPEN im basically in a hazmat suit im FINE’

compress is like ‘huh. reasonable’

spinner is unafraid he is a lizardman he will be okay

love him

boi got ,,, opinions,,,,,,,,

his take is that the government is either exaggerating because rich people are afraid

or that theyre hiding the full extent of the disease from news media

he doesnt know that its both

dabi is a walking talking freakshow

like okay hes horny and mad and sick and tired of being stuck at league hq

he walks around with his eyes wide and unseeing and shigaraki is staring to get worried because he’s scaring the newbies

‘dabi what the fuck is wrong with you’

dabi, numbly: if endeavor dies because of coronavirus i’m going to hunt down the root of this virus and kill everyone starting with them

shigaraki exhales and purses his lips

slaps him on the back a few times in vague comfort and moves on

dabi’s also like

again

‘really horny’

thats his excuse for why hes moping around

when hes not bitching about endeavor to everyone who’ll listen

but he misses hawks

and he wishes he couldve been at hawks’ place when the quarantine was announced

hes complaining on the sofa to spinner on the first weekend as the rest of the league play risk, which shigaraki is dominating and absolutely demolishing everyone in

when

!!!!!!!! hawks appears !!!!!!!!

hawks at home on the fourth day of self isolation: *texting twice* sos please send teleportation guy ujiko whatshisname i miss u guys lol

twice, not knowing hes gonna kill him: aw okay fuck yeah ! bitch !

hawks at home ‘ahhh twice. what a nice guy. what a good dude. what a real homie’

hawks shows up at the league hq 6 days late with starbucks and tells himself hes using the quarantine as an excuse to get closer to the league but he misses dabi’s face

appears and falls onto the risk board as dabi is mid sentence going

‘god what id give to have him appear in my lap’

then everyone is shouting hysterically, shigaraki is pissed bc he was winning, toga is excited bc this is the coolest thing to happen in a week, twice is triumphant bc he organized this, dabi is stILL somehow complaining because ‘i said LAP was that TOO MUCH for the universe’ and hawks beams at the mayhem because he missed them

can u ??? tell im bitter ???? about something??????

#u can tell im out of practice lmao #dabihawks #league of villains #bnha spoilers #villainsquad #dabi #hawks #shigaraki tomura #keigo takami #toga himiko #spinner #twice #kurogiri #compress #ask #anon #hc #hcs

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fanbun · 7 years

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(previous part - 21)

[HERE IS THE BORING PART WHERE WE TELL YOU HOW IT ALL HAPPENED AND THANK EVERYONE AND STUFF]

We started this project quite a long time ago, around the beginning of the year 2000 with me, Sibot, and Felix Laband before the whole max normal thing got started, but then i had to fight with Roach and Fletcher (which was kind of like my fault) and i said i didn’t want to speak to them again. Then I got bored with the max normal project because it didn’t accomodate my need to make new songs all the time, plus i had just met Markus Wormstorm who is the only person who makes music as fast as me. Then I phoned Fletcher and said sorry for being a dick and he said it’s ok, then i asked him if he still wanted to work with me and he said ...mmm, ok... so we started recording again (i had said sorry to Felix a little while before that.) Me and Si were a little scared to leave our comfort zone, but we were both really happy to be living in Cape Town and working on a skill-oriented album, so we didn’t really mind being poor for a year and starting from scratch again. Me and Markus went into Tim Parrs studio and finished recording all the vocals in three days because of our incredible pre-production ability. Then Markus deleted the whole album on the last day by mistake... well, he said he did it on purpose because he thought I could do better, but nobody really believed him. So we re-recorded the album but then we went into this whole lengthy, unexpected process (capetown is wierd like that) which involved meeting a whole bunch of new artists who shared similar visions to us, working harder than any of us have worked in our whole lives, and kind of like stepping back and letting go a bit as this constructus thing started growing into its own creature. Anica the Snufling came to join us on vocals as well as Rick Flare, Darrel, Michelle, Johnny Stokes, Mr Rockadopolis, and Shabang. Then i met a truly strange character called Nikhil Singh who moved in with me and drew the beautiful comic which follows this. Nik also played the guitar on ‘hot-water’ as well as with my head which was in need of a little tampering at the time. Risk hit us with the idea for our constructus icon (the robot throwing up the ball)... Jan taught me these cool excercizes you can do on a jungle-gym, Devin helped me invent the BLOOD-NOSE PUSSY-BOY story (and might even help me out with it more, if i’m lucky)... Berlin East stole my underpants and wore them ontop of his pants to this one party, Si got a final scratch which he is very happy with, and we all started working on our live show because we didn’t rehearse properly for our first shows and our performances were pretty kak... but we’ve been working real hard and we like really, really good now. I also made this other song which I love more than anything with my friend Dan Roberts called ‘Scum Deluxe’ which is actually a present for my other friend Lux Janssen, but some of the lads from our camp were a little nervous of putting a country song on the album so i’m going to put it out with Alien on Chameleon Records (on ‘MY FAVORITE SONGS AT THE MOMENT’ project). Also we couldn’t fit the entire saga on one cd so we decided to put them on our web-sight so that people can download them for free and make their own double cd. You can also download our wonderful little motivational movie called: HOW TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON THE MUSICAL for free off our site plus a whole lot of other nifty this’ and thats’. Inca has been building a visual library of our constructus imagery that she edits live behind us when we perform so that the show expands into an entirely infinite virtual realm. Also all the music videos and movies we making are intricately laced to the plot so that, in about a year or so from now, you’ll be able to watch them all together like one of those cool, old-fashioned musicals. If anyone asks you what kind of music we make you must say that it’s called BOOM BAM, cos it’s new and we don’t really like hip-hop anymore cos it’s dumb. We feel that the spirit the art movement we represent needs a name that represents it properly, so there you have it: BOOM BAM. If anyone asks you what BOOM BAM is you can say that it’s computer game music. BOOM BAM artists (or programmers) create their own original alternate reality’s complete with their own characters and sound-tracks. The programmers assume a more background role while their characters become the celebrities. Daniel Levi introduced me to Random Boy and Kidtronic a long time ago (as well as inventing Kidtronic’s handwriting and being a huge inspiration to this whole project.) He’s going to be doing a whole lot of stuff with us which i’m really happy about cos Daniel is really clever and is also one of the illest directors alive on Earth as well as one of my favorite people ever. Magdeline and Timon played violin on the track he’s going to be making a video for soon called V. Marc Lottering has been looking after me the whole year, being my friend and also making sure i’m not hungry... dankie dankie dankie maneer, you have been the shark-net in my paddling pool... ...the fuel in my flame-thrower, the mushy stuff in my tinkie. William Shatner also helped me out beautifully using her advanced therapeutic techniques and so i’d like to say thankyou honey, you the shit xxx. African Dope Records are the coolest label i could have ever possibly dreamed to work with, plus they pretend not to notice when i steal fruit and veggies from their entrance hall. Roach is my daddy, i love him more than he knows. Heather looks after us so so nicely and Ian says wierd, clever stuff the whole time that i sometimes don’t always understand right away, which i dig. Also we thank Bell Roberts for recognizing what we doing and backing our shit... Maude, Johan, Cedwax and Benwar for looking after us so nicely in France and sparking our little international expansion... and Fletcher, Inca and Si thanks for the best time in the world ever. Maria, thankyou for being such a darling and for activating Metatron One. Also to my man Fungus the mutated lung for taking me out, giving birth to Johnny Stokes and for being so fuckin ill and Ginny Grindith for being so fuck you (the space between words is very beautiful man) Anwar, Jo#an, Turbeou Jones, the lovely lady Rosalux and everyone else who worked on HOW TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON - episode one... thankyou so much, we got lots of stuff to do now ...Jill for being written in our future Kriek for your entirely harmonic vibrational frequency. Brendan and Stephan from Session magazine for keeping this whole independent thing strong... and Clint, you can use any of my music for anything, whenever... you the motherfuckin man homie. Godessa and Squatter Comp for bringing it like you do. Anica says I have to say thankyou to her three times, so thankyou Anica for gracing us with your existence... all hail the voodoo-boogie shake-down queen.. thankyou so much for being such a brat, and thankyou for buying me this notepad i’m writing all this stuff in <3 ...Duncan, hello... thanks for making sure we always have vegetarian food on the planes, and for organizing our shit and for being able to handle me, here we go sir. Also we would like to thank The Venerable Emperor Of The Known Universe for establishing our communicative link with The Jellyfish. And to Si and Dunc’s mom and dad for being so nice to us and believing in us. And Markus and Anri’s parents, Rosa, Piet, Ben and Elna for raising their kids so well. And to Andrew and Goody for telling us we so ill. Mama, Boo, Dyl, and the Debsta, love you, love you, love you, love you for ever and ever and ever and ever, amen. And to other Andrew who won’t let me start an informative lifestyle magazine with his face on the cover called Andrew... punk, thanks for breathing life into our jellyfish. And Mark and Sean for all the good times and for all the music we made together and to Al my pal for turbo-charging my career... i’m glad we friends again. Ay rob, sick mix of ‘Body-snatchers’ (comming out soon) ta mister. Also Felix Laband, Sibot, and Markus Wormstorm are my favorite artists in the whole world, and Anica is my favorite vocalist ever and i know them. The Lensta’s not so bad himself but if he dyes my poodle pink one more time i’m going to tell his mom about the incedent with the old blind guy. Yo petru, thanks for being so cool... Yo Si, thanks for lending me that g and for having my back. Alien, you better quit with the late night pervert calls. My friend Bernie gave me the idea for The Ambrosial Hours. Markus Wormstorm let me stay at his house for the last month of this project which was very nice of him. He also engineered and mixed most of this album (even the songs he didn’t make, much to his dissaproval) so he’s gonna get a real nice birthday present from me for his 21st in december. (sorry, i have to interrupt myself here, i just finished the nicest song ever with Len called Touch The Sky... Cher says we excellent...) Anyway, Fletcher’s been the illest, most intuitive cat to work with. He did a whole lot of gorgeous soundscaping on this album, as well as final mixing and mastering. Sibot is Jimmy Hendrix on the decks... he has advanced beyond all competition as usual. Inca is often the invisible pulse that holds this whole sucker together and has been an absolute sweetheart through and through in everything she does. She has also rented her flat out to me for a very reasonable price. Oh ja, also... we did 90% of this album in our bedrooms and we could have done it all in our bedrooms but Tim’s got such nice, old analogue equipment to do vocal stuff and final touches through, plus he’s the nicest person in the world, so we couldn’t help but work with him. We also want to point out the fact that there has been no corporate assistance whatsoever on this project and that anyone can do this with low-fi pc equipment, some pirate software and a little love. Obviously we now going to go through some corporate channels to hit as many humans as possible, but we have complete creative control and they do what we say. We would like everyone who is interested in creating art for a living to follow our example. There is no excuse for not being able to make it because of the system and everything. The system is eating it’s own tail... we just helping to stuff it further down it’s throat, while dancing around jubilously with it’s entrails around our necks (Markus made me put that last bit in.) Love is entirely unpalatable to these parasites that govern this realm and they feed off your fear, so please would everybody be so kind as to remove their food supply and act like you know so we can exterminate these poor lost fucks.

metatron one_out.

(p.s. i got the name Snufflegruff and the Bazooka-Nuker concept from Alan Moore’s D.R. and Quinch, who Random Boy is kind of obsessed with and i read the Magic Ear story in this children’s book while walking through a shopping mall one day... my version is just an adoption. Markus Wormstorm wrote most parts of this story which involve Kidtronic, which he says are the most important parts in the whole saga. Also Julia Clark is the loveliest girl ever. we got big stuff comming. My little brother Lee told me ‘the two giraffes in a bar joke’ and Markus made up ‘the Boys 2 Men thing’ that happened while Kidtronic was interacting with an old-fashioned, alternate reality. But other than that me, Sibot, Markus and Anica invented this whole thing all on our own and we are very proud of ourselves because of it.)

(END)

#the ziggurat #the constructus corporation #watkin tudor jones #waddy jones #Die Antwoord

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jdmwriting · 7 years

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Dylan Strome’s Older Brother

I’ve always said that you can’t choose who your favorite players are. It’s like a fate kinda thing. We, as fans, get drawn in by these guys for one reason or another, whether it’s when they first start coming up in the system, or years into their career. I know a few people who are attracted to a certain jersey number, like my dad, who is always partial to guys who wear 13. For others, sometimes it honestly just starts with looks. “Hey, this guy’s cute...time to scroll on his Tumblr tag and learn this entire career in 3 hours.” Then, before you know it, it’s 6 in the morning, you haven’t slept, and you’re now able to recite play-by-play transcripts of every gif he appears in on the internet. Sometimes it’s a convenience thing. “I don’t like this team, but the arena isn’t too far away and I wanna see some hockey games. Let’s pick a favorite player. What? They’re a divisional rival of the team I actually follow? Shoot.” For me, it was a mixture of the latter two paths.

Friday, May 6th, 2016. I had just gotten home from school and was told that my stepdad and cousin had somehow miraculously scored tickets to the New York Islanders’ second round playoff game against the Tampa Bay Lightning that night. I’m a Rangers fan, but everyone who knows me knows that I’m not exactly a rule-follower when it comes to hockey. Baseball, I’m a lot better with. I’m a Mets fan who also follows the Orioles and hates any player in a Yankees, Nationals or Braves jersey, and I’m pretty obnoxious about it. Hockey...I’m a little more lenient. I’ll watch just about any hockey game. I just really enjoy the sport. I only watch Mets and Orioles baseball, but if there’s a hockey game being played, there’s a pretty good chance that it’s on at least one TV in my house. So, when my stepdad told me he was going to this game, my mom and I decided we’d watch it. Actually, we didn’t really watch it. We flipped between the game and Return to Amish, because really, priorities! When my mom and I sat down to watch the game, my stepdad texted me asking which player I wanted pictures of if he got down to the glass for warmups. Of course, I wasn’t familiar with many Islanders besides Tavares, Okposo, Martin, Nielsen, and Clutterbuck. You know, those stand out, franchise players. And, to be honest, I didn’t really like any of them. Of course I admire the skill of guys like Tavares, Okposo and Nielsen, and the aggression and passion of Clutterbuck and Martin, but they’re Islanders. I can’t just like Islanders. Anyway, I searched up the roster and picked a random name. Ryan Strome. “Hey, I like Dylan Strome, maybe they’re related? I guess this Ryan kid is cute. His stats aren’t horrendous. Let’s go for it.” Little did I know.

My stepdad ended up missing his train, or something, and he didn’t get there for warmups. But, I continued paying attention to Ryan. He didn’t have an exceptional game, but he did almost set up the game tying goal, which sent the game to overtime. Even after the Islanders lost that night, and even after they lost that series, I continued to learn more about Ryan, digging in his Tumblr tag and watching all his interviews and highlights. It felt weird, since he was an Islander and I was a Ranger fan, but, nonetheless he continued to move up my list of favorite players. My stepdad and I had already been talking about getting an Islanders ticket package for the 2016-2017 season, since I had gone to my first two hockey games that past season and I was hell-bent on going to a lot more. My affinity for Ryan only made us want to go to more games. When September rolled around and I was basically the resident Ryan Strome expert, I ordered his Niagara Ice Dogs OHL jersey. Because, there was no way I was getting an Islanders jersey. Ah, yes, petty hockey Jen is back. When the jersey arrived, I wore it almost every day. Out with friends, to school, to sleep...that jersey practically became a part of my body. The day he signed his new contract, I wore the jersey out to family dinner. Hey, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do! Six days after he signed that contract, I wore his jersey to a game for the first time. Monday, September 26th, 2016. New York Islanders vs Philadelphia Flyers. The first game of the 2016-2017 pre-season. And, not to rub salt in the wound, Isles fans, but it was empty. You could count the people in each section. It was bad. But, this worked for me, since it meant that warmups would be empty. I was one of two people standing at the glass on the Islanders’ side for warmups. I then proceeded to whip out the sign that I had made for Ryan (yes, I’m that crazy). It was in the shape of a heart, it read “Ryan Strome-y is my Homie”, and it took over 4 hours to make. I was gonna get noticed if it killed me.

I had seen Ryan play one other time before. I went to an Islanders vs Panthers game the season before to see Aaron Ekblad, one of my favorites from a few seasons back. I couldn’t have pointed Ryan out to you if you asked me. I didn’t pay attention to him at all that night. So, this game was basically the first time I’d be seeing him. And, let me tell you, hearing Green Light by Pitbull and seeing him skate out past me for the first time...it’s a moment I’ll never forget. I still watch that video all the time, and it still gives me chills. The most important part of that night was getting a puck from Ryan. He threw it over the glass near the end of warmups and of course, I dropped it. He laughed at me. As he was leaving, I thanked him and told him I loved him. He said he loved me. It was honestly one of the best nights of my life, and I couldn’t shake that giddy, happy feeling. Employees and fans alike kept asking me about the puck as I walked around with it, and telling them that story was one of the coolest experiences ever. To top off the night, Ryan fought Nick Cousins, and, quite honestly, beat the crap out of him. What a game.

Throughout the season I went to many more games. I saw Ryan score his first home goal of the season, and it was against his brother’s team. I saw him score 3 other times, and I even saw him get announced as the first star of the game once. It wasn’t a phenomenal season, but in my eyes, he did pretty well. In addition to seeing him play well, he acknowledged me at practically every game, usually at warmups, whether it was a smile, a wave, a head nod at my jersey, a like on Twitter after a game, or that one time he repeatedly shot pucks at my face. Thanks, dude. At the end of the season, I ended up winning his jersey off the back auction. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I got a game-issued jersey that got signed right in front of me, and I got to have a conversation with my favorite player. I’ll have to write a separate piece on that, because it’s a lot. But, in short, I thanked him for everything, we took tons of pictures, and he gave me the best hug I’ve ever received. I couldn’t stop smiling the entire train ride home.

So, what’s the purpose of this piece? Yeah, I wanna brag about how amazing my favorite player is, but, the point is, he won’t be returning to Brooklyn next year. I’m more than relieved to no longer be the Ranger fangirl that likes an Islander, but I won’t get to see him as much anymore. So, thank you, Ryan. For everything, thus far. Thank you for the puck, the jersey, the Twitter likes, the hug, and for the happiness that you’ve brought me over the past year or so of my life. The best part is, I know this is only the beginning. I’ll get to see you on November 7th, in a different kind of orange and blue, and it’ll be different, but I won’t enjoy it any less. Maybe I’ll even make an obnoxious sign for you again. You’ll surely be able to recognize me, though. I’ll still be the only one in the arena in your white Niagara Ice Dogs jersey. So, with that, see you soon, Stromey Homie. I’m counting the days until you come back.

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bobbystompy · 5 years

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Charles Matthews And Everything After

APRIL 2018

Man, I fuckin’ hated the 2004-05 Illinois basketball team.

I was wrong, but you couldn’t tell me that then. Those dudes played selfless, beautiful basketball. They could kill you in many ways, and they spent the bulk of my college freshman year killing me in all the ways. Maybe it wasn’t even the players... maybe it was just the fans. Shit, we were all 18, 19. That’s, like, when college pride is off the charts and half of what you wear is gear.

When that team lost at the very end, it was like a cleansing rain.

Me, before their title game (4/3/05): “There have been a handful of games in my lifetime where I have wanted a team to win more than ANYTHING. This is an opposite situation...only more. I have never wanted a team to lose this bad in my entire life. I want them to lose more than EVERYTHING.”

Me, after (4/4/05): “Ahhhhh. What a time to be alive.”

Hate is such a false god.

Because what I really believe in is karma, and, eight years later, when my beloved Michigan Wolverines punched their card for the finals... I knew I had to get right with my buddy Dom.

Dominic Bruno is one of thee greatest sports fans I will ever know. He roots for both the Cubs and White Sox with no questions asked. I think he thinks it’s odd when people ask him questions. Of his many loves between pro and college athletics, the Illini are his A1, ride or die squad. That 2004-05 (done with the hyphen, if they come up again, it’s gonna be ‘04) was a generational fucking team. Younguns might not understand this now, but for a little bit, Chris Paul vs. Deron Williams was a legit NBA debate. D-Will’s hair also used to look slightly less weird. But still weird.

Ah, man -- there I go again. I can’t help myself.

Anyway. After U of I lost to UNC in their title game, I put up an away message punning the entire Illinois starting lineup with uncreative names (I’m too embarrassed to quote the whole thing, but let’s just say “Pee Brown” was used for Dee Brown). Dom, who I assume was in his feelings a little bit... did not react well.

“I’m going to come riot in your room.”

I know, I know, you might be thinking that’s not that bad. But Dom is a laid back dude; he lives with love. So to push him to that point with flippant trolling of his golden ticket team? Not my finest hour.

And sure, yes: we were kids, it wasn’t that bad -- but I told you I believe in karma. So when Michigan made it in 2013, I called him. He was unassuming, told me it was cool. I read him what I wrote and what he said in response, and it didn’t shake him. Homie told me he was rooting for Michigan in that doomed game. That’s the kind of class (or weird conference loyalty) he has.

After that, I watched The Timeout. It had been at least a decade since I’d seen the clip.

Sometimes, rappers do this thing where they pull back and talk decades.

Shawn Corey Carter:

N****s wanna bring the 80's back That's okay with me, that's where they made me at

Macklemore:

I grew up during Reaganomics When Ice T was out there on his killing cops shit Or Rodney King was getting beat on And they let off every single officer And Los Angeles went and lost it

I grew up with the ghosts of the Fab Five. The coolest, most star-crossed basketball team to ever do it (or not do it, depending how seriously you take NCAA sanctions). Though their finals loss to UNC -- I mean, like of course -- was a little off-the-radar for my early elementary school self, my sports fandom carried that loss like the baggage it was for everyone who actually earned the scar. For years and years, if you told someone you were a Michigan basketball fan, you got a smug ass “Timeout!!!” from people.

The One Shining Podcast guys use the call as their intro, and it still fucking stings.

But I watched the clip, took it in, and tried to push forward before Michigan took the court against a favored Louisville team.

Then the game started. And then there was Spike.

And then there was Trey and the confetti.

Louisville, of course, would be forced to vacate that title this very year. The parallels have no end.

The Fab Five was there for that L, of course. The four non-Chris Webber guys together in the stands while Chris was up in a box. My fear is he’ll go to the grave with that timeout.

This time around, 2018 has given us a team unlike the ones of the past. I don’t go into this game with (as many) Fab Five haunts as before. Shit, Jalen Rose can’t even make the game (he’s working in New York), so the will-they-won’t-they drama is all but squashed immediately. And though I can’t speak at all on player motivation, you’d have to think redeeming the 2013 loss has to be somewhere in the headspace of at least a few of these players. It’s the same coach, a similar situation (4-seed five years ago, 3-seed now facing a monster 1-seed), and a hungry ass team featuring a pitbull point guard, a Many Faced German center, a sharp shooting sixth man, and a dude whose first name is literally Muhammad-Ali.

And we haven’t even gotten to Charles Matthews.

Charles Matthews is one of those first-and-last name guys. Charles feels too formal. Matthews, too sterile. A year ago, I didn’t know he existed. Now he’s filling GRIII’s shoes like the love interest of a creepy widower who insists she wear the late wife’s clothes. They even both rock the 1.

squint and it’s the same squint and it’s the same

* * *

MARCH 2019

OK, so I got too emotional previewing the Michigan-Villanova title game and actually stopped at that part. It was for the best. The Wolverines got wrecked when a white dude went off -- parallels, parallels, parallels -- and the rest is (Nova) history.

Last night, I watched Charles Matthews play what is 99.99999999999999% going to be his last game for Michigan. God damn, he was just the fucking best. If I had to construct the ideal M player to root for from scratch:

- Cool height, but not too tall, but for sure long... like a Michael Jordan-type 6′6′’ (CHECK)

- Impeccable hairline (CHECK)

- Jersey No. 1 (CHECK)

- Off the charts athleticism (CHECK)

- Dope at defense but doesn’t have to be (CHECK, IS)

- Likes Drake or Jay (YUP)

- Iffy shooter (...CHECK)

- Boring as hell interviews with the occasional unexpected flair (OHHH CHECK)

Yeah, just so sick.

I am sad, so let’s end with a Top 8 Memories Of Charles Matthews.

8) When Gus Johnson excitedly called him “Charlie Matthews” and I thought it might catch on and it definitely did not catch on

7) The Kentucky Transfer: Charles Matthews transferred to Michigan from another school. It got mentioned... a lot. Though it drew the ire of most Michigan fans, I always thought it sounded like a great damn boost.

6) Speaking of... he really could get up

youtube

5) Not wanting to get hit with water during locker room celebrations

4) Chi: I watched Michigan play Iowa in the first row of the 100 level at the UC for the 2019 Big Ten Tournament, and they announced Charles Matthews (from Chicago) last, and he got the biggest cheers in the arena/mobbed by his teammates

3) We experienced our successes in different ways

...but the joy never ceased.

2) MS-U MAD BRO?

1) The Minny game winner: Had to... this was his moment.

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Oh man, the interview after was so god damn boring, you guys; top notch. Nothing but respect for my nonplussed swingman.

College sports are weird because there is so much brand continuity and tradition yet so much personnel change. It’s hard not to think of the ending of the “Friday Night Lights” movie. Like, you just did the MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER and maybe it didn’t work out or maybe it did but no matter what it’s ON TO THE NEXT THING, LIKE, THE NEXT DAY. Some will go to the league, some will become accountants, but no matter what, the coaches will update the damn depth chart.

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I love watching basketball because it makes me feel alive, and players like Charles Matthews make me feel most alive.

#charles matthews #go blue #michigan basketball #villanova #trey burke #donte divincenzo #friday night lights #john beilein #louisville #basketball #nba #cbb #final four #2018 #2019

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