#people really think the spanish did this on their own LOL you really a relatively small group of spaniards would have managed to get ALL OF

[chuplayswithfire]

re the ask about stede not doing enough to make up for ditching ed - did it not balace out that ed tortured his crew for weeks and tried to kill lucius? idk why everybody is woobifying ed as if being sad or having a hard life is a justification for any of the shit he did like he has autonomy and chooses to behave the way he does when stede leaves. same goes for blaming all of eds actions on izzy as if izzy forced him to do anything? i think its weird and doesn’t do justice to his intentionally morally gray dimensional flawed character

okay so anon you are bringing up multiple things and conflating them, i think so let's take this one bit at a time

re the ask about stede not doing enough to make up for ditching ed - did it not balace out that ed tortured his crew for weeks and tried to kill lucius?

so first, let's be clear: ed's actions towards other people do NOT balance out stede's actions towards ed. that's uhhhh not how it works. when it comes to if stede did enough to make up for ghosting ed, that is a situation resolved only within ed and stede's personal relationship. stede leaving doesn't justify ed being callous and later cruel to the crew, but likewise, ed being callous and later cruel to the crew doesn't mean stede didn't owe something to ed if he wanted their relationship to work.

now let me further say that...i don't think that ed tortured (members of) stede's crew for weeks. in fact, i don't think he's physically harmed any of the crew aside from izzy, and I would argue that his dynamic with izzy is it's own special beef. if anything, i would say that between season 1 episode 10 and season 2 episode 1, ed's been a classic overachieving boss pushing his staff to the breaking point by having them work long shifts with no breaks and low pay.

this is not good, by the way, i am not saying he is being a good boss; kraken ed is fully that shithead boss who schedules 13 hour days and thinks a pizza party or donuts in the lounge make up for it. izzy tells him morale is low and he asks if they got cake, and then if they want drugs. the crew does not describe being worn down from specific fear of ed - they are worn down by day after day after day of endless raids without breaks; all the worst parts of piracy (the raids, the violence, the death) with none of the benefits (the break time between targets, the shore leave, getting paid).

again i say this is not good because it's not, but also, i think the fandom has marinated in this idea that because ed took izzy's toe he'd be doing all kinds of violence to the rest of the crew, and s2e1 doesn't really bare that out. they're shocked and horrified that he actually shoots izzy, and none of them are missing bits - in fact, the behavior is apparently so unique to izzy that they think izzy and ed have a toxic relationship. if it was any of them getting that, it wouldn't be an intervention getting plotted.

(he did for sure try to kill lucius though, which is why i'm glad lucius got to dump him overboard lol. lucky lucius. izzy tried to kill stede twice and stede didn't even get to stab him once.)

idk why everybody is woobifying ed as if being sad or having a hard life is a justification for any of the shit he did like he has autonomy and chooses to behave the way he does when stede leaves.

now half the fandom is woobifying ed because we love him and like him and also because the other half of the fandom is wildly racist about him so.

but, also, it's important context that the showrunner describes ed's actions as "a bit much" and "not entirely inappropriate". in the context of their environment, most of what ed did is not that shocking or stunning; he has hurt people, but even the people he hurt move on from it relatively soon, and we can see from spanish jackie (who doesn't give her employees enough money to pursue their own ambitions/perfectly fine with killing a husband to remove an obstacle) and ned low (literally all of that in episode 6) and izzy (in the like ten minutes he was captain and forced people to season his food and threatening folks with going hungry for laughing at him) that pirate captains are, generally, pretty shit, actually.

roach and archie at various points express sentiments that show this is all pretty normal for pirates; it's not that ed wasn't a dick, it's that he wasn't uniquely evil or fucked up. it's also that his behavior is sympathetic to many people because the show makes it abundantly clear that he's incredibly depressed and suicidal, and while it's definitely NOT okay to hurt people because you're in a bad way, the show is definitely more geared towards "even when you do all that fucked up shit, you still can be deserving of love and compassion if you reach for it" rather than "if you do fucked up shit you instantly are on the death list".

same goes for blaming all of eds actions on izzy as if izzy forced him to do anything? i think its weird and doesn’t do justice to his intentionally morally gray dimensional flawed character

izzy's not responsible for ed's actions in the sense that he put a gun to ed's head during every move, but he plays a critical role in making all that shit happen. it's like how stede wouldn't have ghosted ed if chauncey hadn't of dragged him out of bed - the festering self hatred that chauncey tapped into was there in stede, but he wouldn't have given in without a jolt from his past. the festering self hatred in ed wouldn't have broiled over into the kraken without izzy, but that was all still in ed.

izzy is pivotal in all that shit happening. if izzy hadn't of come in and jabbed ed in every sore spot he had and been a huge homophobia ridden pest that *also* threatened ed if he continued behaving in a way izzy didn't like, ed wouldn't have gone all kraken.

however, ed still DID go all kraken, so like, yeah, he did that shit. izzy is the explanation for why he did, but it's ed who did it so he has to make amends.

but also like ed is only as morally gray as literally everyone else. frenchie and roach are both in full support of torture. jim fully tried to kill a guy for throwing a glass at archie. all of them are professional murderers who make their living being the absolute living nightmares of people who are just living their lives doing their thing.

ed isn't any more morally gray than anyone else, but it's very weird how people try to make it out like ED is the intentionally morally gray character when it's just that this is a show about professional violent criminals, so the show doesn't really moralize about acts of violence.

now taking it back to the top though:

nothing ed did to the crew would change stede's need to re-earn ed's trust for ghosting him without a word and not being honest about his feelings and doubts. if ed wanted stede to atone for that, that would be ed's right as a person in the relationship - just like it would be the right of frenchie, archie, jim, or fang to want to ed to do something more before they offered their forgiveness. the fucked up shit you do to other people does not retroactively justify the fucked up shit someone else did to you. stede doesn't get a get out of the doghouse free card for ghosting ed just because ed was a dick to other people; he gets a get out of the doghouse free card because ed decides to forgive him and try again.

#ofmd #fandom fuckery #izzy hands #edward teach #stede bonnet #ofmd s2 spoilers

[dbfandom]

hi! Sorry if this has been asked already! But I notice with some Japanese artists on twitter, they will retweet someone's art and then comment about it in a separate tweet rather than replying directly to the post. Do you know if this is an etiquette thing? Is it obnoxious if I'm the only person commenting directly on a post? When I see art I love with no comments it makes me sad so I try to leave a comment, but I'm not sure if I should sometimes. Sorry if you've already addressed this, or if this is more of a twitter-specific thing and you're not concerned with that! Thanks for what you do!!

Ayo!!

I actually asked a few of my JPN tweet moots about this practice like, two years ago and basically it's a "I don't want to be a burden on OP" situation.

The idea is that for many of them, "commenting directly" is like, coming directly to their table and fangirl "in front of them", which means they (as the commenters) embarrass themselves in front of the author/artist and "impose" themselves on their (the OP's) space (OP might feel obligated to respond, which is a burden)

By RTing and then doing a LRT (or LRP for those who switched to "repost" instead of "retweet" because musk made it all confusing <_<), they get to "fangirl" in their own space and not embarrass themselves all while still inviting their followers to check out the original work (which was RT'd just previously).

Note that this also happens even if the OP and commenter are friends / mutuals / collab / part of the same circle (aka they published together).

60% of them told me they actually like it when people directly comment. The rest said they "don't mind" (whatever that means lol).

I generally comment 90% of my japanese TL, either in English, with some basic Japanese, or with just emojis (think of it as keysmashing lol).

What's important is be positive and kind, not use any slang or acronyms if possible, and keep sentence structure super simple (no subordinates, no relative pronouns, no possessives) so there's no room for error in the translation (esp automatic twitter translation).

Something like "the colors are really beautiful!", or "amazing" or "pretty!" (simple adjectives), "the wind effects are powerful!" translates well, but "i love how you did the colors, they bang!" might not due to the subordinates and pronouns and other pronouns that the translator might not know what it refers to (that and homonyms haha).

Don't hesitate to use the names of the characters instead of the pronouns ("Gohan's hair is very pretty!") then replace Gohan with the rice emoji (unless the OP uses the character names, in general they tend to not use character names because they don't want to be indexed...).

When in doubt, drop your comment in DeepL or google translate, copy the result, and then run it again the other away around (or through a third language you know, like Spanish, German, etc...). And beware of homonyms that can mean many things (I've made mistakes haha)

Much love to you!

#japanese to english

[itsrottenwork]

Hiii mj!! Secret Santa here!! Hope that the start to your weekend was a good one!! ✨

That’s is very true, yes!! It’s very much everything but relaxing at times. But it’s been relatively good so far!! It’s not too too hot like I had initially expected the island to be. Love that you’re going on a vacation of your own for the holidays!! Hopefully everything goes smoothly for you, hun!!

I know exactly what that’s like!! More times than not, I have my parents ask for things in Spanish when we go out only because I’m not confident in my Spanish to do it myself. Sometimes, I can. Others, it really depends. I agree 100% on learning a different language from the get-go at a young age in schools rather than having the mostly Spanish-speaking kids be separated for English lessons. Instead, they should do the same with native English speakers to help them speak/understand Spanish!! It promotes communication with both parties that way instead of alienating them!!

I’m so bad at remembering peoples names when I first meet them! They tell me their name and then five seconds later, I forget it and then get too embarrassed to ask again 🫠.

Speed Round Questions!! This is a funny one that had me reflecting a bit lol. What’s the worst fashion/style choice you ever made? In middle school, I had multicolored chino pants and I would wear shirts/sweaters that matched said pants all the time!! Now, I wouldn’t be caught dead with brightly, almost neon colored pants!! I get shivers just thinking about it!! What was your least fav. Food as a child that you actually like now? For me, it was broccoli and spinach!! If you could watch a movie/tv show for the first time, what would it be? TV show: The Society; Movie: The Amazing Spider-Man 2!! If you had an ability to take a lap around the earth from space or dive to the deepest depths of the ocean, which would you choose? While there is still so much we haven’t learned about the ocean, I agree that we should just keep it that way lol.. lap around the earth for me!! 🎄✨

yes yes, just finishing packing lol!! I get to see my parents tomorrow for the first time since september, I'm really excited 😊 I'm glad pr isn't too hot, like a nice warm is perfectly fine as a break from all the wintery weather but if it's too hot then it's just annoying in the other direction haha. how long are you there for? what're you most excited for while you're there?

yeah I remember the esl (english as a second language) kids were always like, taken out of my classes to go do...I dunno really what they did, english lessons I assume, but then the main class never learned anything else and that would've been so good. my third grade teacher always used to give us the option of doing the pledge of allegiance in either english or spanish, and I'm really annoyed to have forgotten the spanish version of it, but that was it really

speed round answers!!

bad fashion: okay so the year is 2009 ish, my wardobe is very much made up of camisoles and other brightly colored things to layer on top of them all got from justice for girls, and for some reason it was also really trendy to have like, stuff in your hair? like glittery strings or feathers or whatever, don't ask me why. but my mom wouldn't let me actually get stuff in my hair, so I had like a purple feather on a hair clip, I don't actually remember wearing it but I do remember thinking it was really cool (it was not)

food you like now: herbs, 100%. I used to be that kid that wanted pasta with only butter, chicken as plain as possible, and now it's like, the more seasoning the better honestly. also I can't believe you came around to broccoli, I have always hated broccoli and I always will like it legit makes me gag haha

watch a show/film again for the first time: my favorite show is the west wing, and I've watched it through several times now, but I remember being sooo invested the first time. for a film, this is gonna sound silly but spirit stallion of the cimmaron 😂

deep sea or space: that's a really tough question, I think space is absolutely mesmerizing so my instinct was to say space, but I watched this really cool documentary where they went to like, the bottom of the ocean and all the bioluminescent animals down there are incredible!! did you know that at a certain point, blue is the only light that can make it that far down so no matter what color things actually are, everything looks like it's blue? so yeah I'm torn, I think as long as I'm safe both would be really really cool

#txt #ask #anon #holiday pals 2022

[prinxlyart]

I also imagine that despite some culture shock, Willow and Amity fit into the human world surprisingly well. Willow's more mellow demeanor and Amity's years of experience in high social culture mean they can fit in well in almost any social setting. Almost too well, after a while it starts to get to Luz since it seems like her witch girlfriends from another dimension do a better job fitting in than she ever did. Cue Luz needing extra love and cuddles

Bruh are you trying to get me to relive my high school existential depression??? Cuz I’m about to lol. (Damn it this is another long one, fuck, why can’t I just answer a question with little blurbs???????)

[tw: for descriptions of bullying, a panic attack and general depressive thought processes]

</3 :’)

Let’s say this excursion to the Human Realm is like a week-long vacation for our girls. They stay with Camila and Luz gets to spend time with her favorite girls and show off the stuff she grew up with. She’s so excited to share all the stuff she loves!!! Like how the trees don’t actually watch you and you typically don’t need to worry about critters attacking you when you walk by. And like. 99% of the things aren’t thinking about eating you. Oh, and just electricity and technology in general.

They come up with their cover story fairly easily (Luz’s girlfriends from another country that are visiting), figure out an easy illusion spell to hide Amity and Willow’s ears, and they’re off to the races. Luz takes them to her favorite after school snack spot, her favorite locally-owned book store (there’s a cat there named Miss Mittens that sunbathes in the display window), her favorite park, etc.

Willow and Amity are having so much fun too; they love learning about the Human Realm, but they love seeing where Luz grew up even more because her whole face lights up when she’s telling them about wherever they are. The first time a truck rolls by (one of those biiigg 18-wheeler delivery trucks) they both nearly scream and are so close to casting something to protect themselves, but Luz reassures them that it’s fine.

For the most part, they just have fun!! Luz couldn’t be happier. There’s something fun about being almost like an ambassador to the people you care about; you get to share so much information and see their wonder and amazement. That is, until Willow decides to walk up to a counter at a shop and ask the clerk about something. Luz doesn’t understand the weird twinge in her heart when Willow does this, but it’s quickly brushed away when Amity grabs her hand to get her attention and ask about something else.

Then the Mall Incident happens. And Luz is shaken. She never forgot about her old bullies but she did forget how much even being around them sent her into a mild state of panic. Sure, she had classes with them all the time, but they couldn’t always be bullying her. They never were as aggressive with their bullying as Boscha had been before that Grudgby match. But that doesn’t stop Luz from shaking slightly for the rest of their time at the mall. She brushes it off when Amity and Willow ask, yeah it was kind of a shock to run into them, but she’ll be fine.

When they get home Willow and Amity know she’s not fine. It was like if Luz was a candle, she’d been snuffed out and they were only seeing the remaining wisps of smoke. It was jarring to say the least, but after talking it out with Luz and smothering her in affection, Luz does feel better.

As their little Human Realm excursion goes on, Luz watches Willow and Amity interact with the Human world with relative ease and that same twinge in her heart is back. She doesn’t know why she feels so odd about seeing her girlfriends just talk with store clerks or restaurant waitstaff, but something about the whole situation is bothering her and she can’t put her finger on what.

That is until one night towards the end of their little vacation when Willow wakes up at like, 2 in the morning to the sound of sniffling (she and Amity are sharing a blow-up mattress in Luz’s room). The alarm bells go off in her head as she registers what the noise is and looks over at Amity only to see that she’s fast asleep. Which means Luz is crying. Willow gently shakes Amity awake before sitting up and checking to make sure she didn’t mishear anything, but her heart only breaks with what she’s able to see.

Luz is curled up in a tight ball, completely surrounded in her blankets, and shaking so hard Willow could’ve mistaken it for a seizure if she hadn’t heard her crying. Willow scrambles onto Luz’s bed and gently drapes herself over Luz’s shaking form, only to hesitate when Luz almost violently recoils at her touch. Amity is quick to join them on the bed once she’s woken up enough to see that something was wrong. Both girls quietly ask Luz what they can do to help her, but her crying only becomes harsher and she starts shaking her head and pounding her hands to her forehead. Willow has to forcibly hold her hands away to make her stop while Amity fetches Camila.

Camila comes rushing in and turns on the light and just starts muttering in Spanish under her breath and she takes Luz into her arms and holds her, just gently rocking her and running her fingers through her hair and still muttering quiet Spanish. Willow and Amity can only watch, grabbing each other’s hands for any amount of stability because their hearts are shattering at the sight of their girlfriend crying so hard.

After a while, Luz’s crying dies down, but her shaking doesn’t. Camila sighs and asks Amity and Willow if they’d like to sleep in her room for the night, to which they both immediately reject. They want to know what’s going on with Luz and how they can help. They’re terrified for their girlfriend and want to do anything they can to help her. Camila feels her own heart melt at that because wow, these girls really do love Luz.

So she asks them instead if they would like to bring their blankets downstairs to the living room and get set up on the couch while she takes care of Luz. Amity and Willow are reluctant to leave Luz, but this is her mom. If anyone knows how to help her, it’s Camila. So they quietly agree and gather up their pillows and blankets and head downstairs and talk quietly on the couch, holding each other’s hands, going over what could’ve possibly caused Luz to break down in the middle of the night.

Meanwhile, Camila manages to ease Luz into letting go of the death-grip hug she has on her and sit up enough for her to wipe the tears from Luz’s face and ask her what’s wrong. Luz almost starts crying again; it hurts her so much to think about. Not to mention, it’s a dumb fear that she knows shouldn’t bother her but it’s scaring her half to death anyway. Camila just waits for Luz to gather her thoughts, gently fussing over her hair and straightening out her rumpled pajamas until Luz is ready to speak.

Luz admits to her mom that she’s scared of losing Willow and Amity. She tells her about the run in with her old bullies at the mall and what they said about her finding people that “tolerate her existence” and how that hit harder and deeper than it should have. How she can still hear the taunts in her head; about how she probably lied to them in order for them to even bother looking her way or that maybe they were just actresses Luz had hired to make her feel like she was worthy of having a girl on each arm. She knows that shouldn’t bother her because she knows Willow and Amity care about her, she knows none of that is true even in the slightest.

But then she watched them ease seamlessly into navigating the Human Realm and she remembers how long it took for her to even begin to understand the nuances of the Demon Realm and it sort of dawned on her how easily she could be left behind. It would be so easy for them to be able to figure out how the Human world works and to go off on their own adventure together; they’re both ridiculously smart and they have each other, what’s Luz but a tour guide that talks too much? And now they’ve been seen with her in public and if they ever did want to explore more of the human world, they would need to go out of town so they wouldn’t be known as Little Luz-er Noceda’s Fake Girlfriends.

Not to mention that back in the Demon Realm, they’re both known to be smart and powerful witches. Luz still gets odd looks thrown her way as she walks into a new place in the Demon Realm because she’s a Human and Humans Can’t Do Magic. Why would these two beautiful, talented, powerful witches want to be seen with Luz the Human? No matter what world she’s in, Willow and Amity are out of her league and she fears that one day they’ll realize this and just leave her behind.

Camila is absolutely heartbroken at this (and makes a mental note to reach out to that girl’s parents; two years have gone by and their child is still as nasty as ever). She reassures Luz that Willow and Amity care about her so much. She’s seen the way those girls look at Luz when they think she’s not looking and they are so beyond smitten with her. And Camilla’s long since gotten to know these girls. She knows they’re absolute angels with hearts of gold (and would probably die and/or kill for Luz, but that’s a thought Camila keeps sealed away in the darkest corners of her mind). There’s no way either of them think that way and would never leave Luz thinking they were some how better than her or too good for her.

Camila also gently reprimands her for not making these fears known sooner; a whole panic attack could’ve been avoided if Luz had brought this up earlier. Luz finally smiles and admits she went down a sort of intense depressive spiral when they all went to bed earlier that night. She’d been feeling off all week but hadn’t figured out why until it was too late. Camila tells her to go downstairs and talk with her girls; she needs to explain what caused her to have such a fierce panic attack in the middle of the night because they are worried sick. Luz gives her mom a hug and mutters her thanks before she grabs a blanket off her bed and heads downstairs. Camila follows her downstairs but goes to the kitchen instead to start some tea (and maybe check her phone to see if Eda’s up 👀).

When Luz finally comes downstairs, Willow and Amity jump off the couch and approach her to hug her, but remember how badly she reacted earlier and keep their distance while they ask her if she was okay. Just seeing her girlfriends look so worried over her well-being is enough to make Luz’s heart squeeze and she just throws her arms around the both of them and hugs them tightly. They all just stand there quietly for a minute; Willow and Amity are relieved to see Luz is okay enough to be giving them a hug, but they’re still worried about what happened. Eventually Luz pulls away and they all sit down (Luz is sandwiched between her girls and playing with their hands; it’s their go-to comfort seating arrangement) and Luz explains everything she had just explained to her mom.

By the time Luz is done with her explanation, Camila’s bringing out the tea for the girls. She sets down the tray for them and plants a big kiss on Luz’s head and tells her that she’s going to go back to bed, they just need to come get her if they need her. She also gives Willow and Amity big kisses on their heads that makes them all giggle and blush before they all wish her goodnight.

They spend a while going over each of Luz’s fears one by one, reassuring Luz that those fears have no power to them because there’s no way in any realm they’d let something like that happen. They both reassure her of how much they adore her, how much they love her (and both make sure to leave plenty of kisses on her cheeks in between said reassurances), and how nothing would ever change that.

Not to mention her last fear. Amity and Willow out of Luz’s league?? Too out of league for the girl who broke into and out of the Conformitorium twice, who defeated a Puppeteer Demon on her second day on Boiling Isles, who not only get Willow an A+ in a magic track she wasn’t good in but also switched into her magic track specialty on her 5th day on the Boiling Isles; who rediscovered an ancient, long-lost method of performing magic within her first week, while ALSO dealing with an Owl Beast Eda-

And that’s just her first week of living in their Realm. Since then she’s disrupted and completely changed the rigid learning system of their school, defeated several monsters, including the Bat Queen, a Slitherbeast, and GROM, put Boscha of all people so in her place that she’s since sat back and re-examined her entire life, and went face-to-face with Emperor Belos and managed to land a hit on him. Yknow, all within the first month and a half of her living on the Boiling Isles. (With more to add as the show goes on I’m sure)

If anyone is out of anyone’s league, Luz is so far beyond everyone that there was a new level created just for her. It doesn’t matter what some air head bully from the Human Realm thinks of her; she’s literally revolutionized life on the Boiling Isles by simply being the bright, passionate, loving person she is.

Luz is definitely crying by the time they’re done listing everything she’s accomplished. Amity and Willow just snuggle up close to her, kissing her face and her head and maybe her shoulder every so often as they reassure her that they love and admire Luz for who she is and can’t even begin to imagine their lives without her. She never ever needs to worry about them somehow leaving her behind when she’s the one leading the way.

They all end up falling asleep on the couch snuggled up with one another and empty mugs of tea on the coffee table. Camila wakes back up a few hours later and shakes her head at the sight of them; they’re all going to have sore necks when they wake up. But she takes several pictures of them and sends the best ones to Eda. Eda replies almost immediately, informing her of the bet she has going with Lilith and King about how soon after they graduate they all propose to one another and asks her if she wants in on the betting pool. She also comments on how sickeningly sweet those girls are and how she’s about to go puke her guts up and definitely NOT make one of those pictures her scroll background.

#prinxly inquiries #hushman #the owl house #willumity #tw: depressive episode #tw: panic attack #this ones a sad one yall #but dont worry the ending is so cotton-candy fluffy itll rot your teeth out #Camilia is a Good Mom that LOVES her daughter and i will stand by that until the day i die

[nyaheum]

My yearly list of Eurovision songs after the first impression (I mean, for like, half of them. I heard snippets of some songs.). Judged on music videos, because...if I only listen to the songs on Spotify, my eyes get bored. :’)

(oh, and don’t talk to me about iceland’s placement, I know this might be unpopular)

X. Belarus

Fuck Belarus, all my homies hate Belarus. Not even going to grace them with a rating.

Norway (TIX – Fallen Angel)

...no. :( And it’s not even because Keiino didn’t win, I just wholeheartetly hate this song. And I’m kinda sorry to TIX, because he seems like a cool dude and his stage outfit is absolutely hilarious, but oh my god do I hate this song with an absolute burning passion.

Poland (RAFAL – The Ride)

eye emoji mouth emoji eye emoji – well, this is a non-qualifier if I’ve ever seen one. Can we just...skip this?

Belgium (Hooverphonic – The Wrong Place)

Nap time! This song annoys me. I cannot explain it, but it gives me a headache and my whole body is revolting against this song. I am not kidding. Objectively, I don’t even hate it, but there’s just something about it...that makes me go...hnghgng…

North Macedonia (Vasil – Here I Stand)

eye emoji mouth emoji eye emoji ver. 2 – I am not trying to sound mean, but does North Macedonia do any music that is not dramatic power ballads? I’m serious. (And I don’t like it, sorry. :((...except for the high notes, I like them. When he can hit them live.)

Estonia (Uku Suviste – The Lucky One)

This (the music video)...is soft porn. I am slightly scared of Uku. I don’t know why. But, uh...this is better than last year’s song? Still, it wouldn’t qualify under my watch, whoops.

Georgia (Tornike Kipiani – You)

He stopped yelling angrily at the microphone. :((( Nah, but this isn’t my thing. It’s great that they are doing their own thing, it’s just not really my thing...it also reminds me of a song I know, damn.

Austria (Vincent Bueno - Amen)

He looks like a german youtuber. I don’t know hich one, but he looks like one. I also canot tell if he’s 18 or 38, lol. (For some reason he also reminds me of Alex Albon, which is even weirder.)...oh, uh, the song? Idk, I don’t care for I. It’s fine.

Spain (Blas Cantó – Voy A Querdarme)

Confession: I’m probably the only person who actually doesn’t like the sound of Spanish all that much. Whoops. Apart from that though, I’m not the biggest fan of this song. Can’t really say more about that. Meh.

The Netherlands (Jeangu Macrooy – Birth Of A New Age)

Listen: I really like the tone of this voice. It’s great. I am not a fan of the song. There’s something just very off about the loud percussions (?) in the background that make me go absolutely crazy when listening to this. My sensory-overload-prone ears hate it, and I’m sorry...the part before the last chorus on the other hand I love. The whole song could have sounded like that and I would have loved it. (...and I can’t unhear “You are my broccoli – You know my broccoli!” ;-;)

Azerbaijan (Efendi – Mata Hari) Whenever I see Efendi, my brain still goes “Cleopatrrrrra!”, oof. This song sounds like a song I know. Which...is super unprecice, but I genuinely don’t know which one. I do like that they kept the weird pre-chorus thing from Cleopatra (and reference the song later on), but I must say that I liked Cleopatra more...but it’s a party song, so I think it will be fun on stage!

Romania (ROXEN - Amnesia)

I didn’t like her song last year, I don’t enjoy this all too much and I’m kinda sorry but also...I don’t want to apologize for my taste in music, lmao. I want her hair though. Give me her hair.

Denkmark (Fyr & Flamme – Ove Os Pa Hinanden)

Ring ding ding, native language bonus. This is also way more fun than I thought it would be, hah. VERY retro, but I don’t hate that? :D (this and sweden really aren’t any different in terms of how much I like them)

Portugal (The Black Mama – Love Is On My Side)

I can appreciate this. I just wish it was in Portuguese, honestly. I don’t really know if I like the English for this song. That being said, I don’t know if you can make these very specific tones (you know what I mean) in portuguese without it sounding super off, so…

Ireland (Lesley Roy – Maps)

Okay, you do you Ireland. :D

Israel (Eden Alene – Set Me Free)

This exists. :D

Cyprus (Elena Tsagrinou – El Diablo)

Cyprus came to party, and I can’t be mad at that. I just don’t know why everybody in the YouTube comments loves this SO MUCH that they are sure that it will win if it gets the jury votes. I don’t think it’s as good as Fuego or She Got Me were, but maybe I just have no taste in party music. I don’t party. (Only if you got a 2000s playlist and some iced tea.)

France (Barbara Pravi – Voilà)

FRANCE sending a BALLAD? In MY Eurovision? It’s more likely than you think. It’s good, objectively. Personally, I don’t really care for it all that much and feel like I already know it.

United Kingdom (Embers – James Newman)

A good, modern song? In my british eurovision song? What happened on the Isles over quarantine? Are you guys okay? Did you find yourself? Have you taken your last breath (breath!) and looked at your past results? I’m impressed enough to put this relatively high, wow.

Serbia (Hurricane – LOCO LOCO)

*adore delano voice* party! Oh, and native language bonus...for a party song! I’m...impressed, actually. I cannot decide wheter I prefer this or Hasta La Vista, but I think it’s this one? The flows smoother, if that means literally anything.

Bulgaria (VICTORIA – Growing Up Is Getting Old)

*shrugs* I think a lot of people will like this. And I get that. I think I even understand it...yeah. I didn’t like her song last year either. It’s just personal preference, I think. I just want to have fun during Eurovision, hah.

Finland (Blind Channel – Dark Side)

Finland: FUCK YOU!!! Germany: Fuck you. <3

That’s all I’ll say, we know how the Finnish are, this is not surprising, lmao. (And I’m one of those children that grew up on Rammstein, so I legally cannot dislike this.)

Croatia (Albina - Tick-Tock)

Tick-tock, can you hear me go tick-tock? My heart is like a clock, I'm steady like a rock-...oh wait, wrong tick-tock! Still, really enjoy this song’s chorus – I actually enjoy it so much that it makes up for the utter loss of interest I experience once it’s over, chrm.

Sweden (Tusse – Voices)

I mean...let’s be honest, it’s a generic swedish pop song. It sounds like every other Swedish entry, and I think that bothers me. I know, that sounds kind of...weird, looking at my choices higher up in the list, but...meh. I think this will easily qualify for the Final and place high, and I am totally okay with that. It’s just not...what I wanted, I guess? :D (and i’m sorry but as a german-speaker I cannot get over the name “tusse”) (oh, and tusse seems to be super cool)

Albania (Anxhela Peristeri - Karma)

Oh, we’re going to war in 130 A.D.? Fine, let me just pack my spear and- oh, Albania has already sent a singer? Ah, well, might as well give up and just vibe.

Czech Republic (Benny Cristo - omaga)

This sounds fun. Not a winner or anything, but fun. I’ll probably still be on Twitter when he’s performing, whoops.

Slovenia (Ana Sklic - Amen)

Wait, there’s TWO songs called Amen? And why do I actually kinda like this? Oh well, might as well just accept it. (Her voice though...mhmmhmhm…yes please)

Iceland (Dadi og Gagnamagnid – 10 Years)

We just vibin’. I liked Think About Things more, but I’m very much biased here...because I’ve known that song for a year now. But this is still very good, and very on brand. (And I understand like...half of the lyrics, but I am okay with that.)

Australia (Montaigne - Technicolour)

not australia flexing at all of europe that they can hold big gatherings! D: oh, but I like this way more than last years song. I feel like Montaigne can show her GREAT voice way better in this song. (Even though her outfit and the sound of the song reminds me of the UK song that had...a dude run on the stage. I can’t think of the word for it right now.)

Malta (Destiny – Je Me Casse)

Destiny’s voice is just….wow. This is very different than All My Love, but it’s fun. The topic of the lyrics kinda remind me of Toy, and I like that…..I don’t really like the music video (especially the dancers in the colorful dresses? idk), but I’ll just ignore that.

Germany (I Don’t Feel Hate - Germany)

Confession time: I actually actively enjoy this song. Everybod is shitting on it, but it’s FUN and it has a good message, and Jendrik seems like the nicest dude ever and...it doesn’t deserve all the hate it’s getting? It’s completely self-produced and just fun. Stop being mean. :(

(...also someone on youtube said “pewdiepie” and I can’t unsee that now so fuck you >:((...no, no I don’t feel hate, just rethink your life choices)

Moldova (Natalia Gordienko - SUGAR)

What in the “Eis.de ist in der Kiste” is this music video? And I thought I would absolutely hate this song, but I actually don’t mind it all that much. It’s actually fun. Oh no, I’m splipping, someone catch me, aaaaaahhhhh….(and that poor cake dude. Is this song about cannibalism? Does she want to eat him?)

San Marino (Senhit – Adrenalina)

Catch me hum the chorus of this song at least once a day...but honestly, without any malicious intent: what the actual FUCK san marino? This is so much better than Freaky, and even though I do not believe for one second that this will win, the simple outragiousness of bringing Flo Rida to Eurovision deserves attention. (Bringing someone like Flo Rida to ESC sounds more like Scandinavia/Bulgaria, doesn’t it?)

Russia (Manizha – Russian Woman)

Not gonna lie, I miss Little Big, but at least they are sending something that’s at least as weird. I love that. Russian Rap is cool as fuck anyway, so I’m fully here for this...but I’m glas this song doesn’t have a music video, this just has to be a live performance. (Oh, and another strong woman!)

Ukraine (Go_A – SHUM)

I’m SO glad Go_A are back. But, let me be completely honest: I know why they had to change the lyrics, but I still liked the first version better. BUT I feel like the new one will grow and me and it will climb one or two places, because the Instrumental just slaps SO HARD. (Makes me feel like putting on a Cybergoth outfit and start dancing at a German industrial park, lmao.)

Latvia (Samanta Tina – The Moon Is Rising)

Does this count as my guilty pleasure this year? I loved her song last year, and this sounds similar, so...I like this too. It sounds modern as fuck (well, for Europe, you know) and I can definitely...”vibe” with that. I genuinely really enjoy this, and I don’t know why. (Even though I prefer last years drop.) A lot of “strong, independent women”-songs this year, and I’m not complaining.

Switzerland (Gjon’s Tears – Tout l’Univers)

Just so we’re clear, this and Italy share the exact same spot. I just cannot compare them at all. Gjon’s voice just takes me hostage throughout this whole song and won’t let me go. And everything that isn’t english/is in the countries offical language immediately gets plus points from me. As if this song needed them anyway.

Lithuania (The Roop – Discoteque)

Aaaaaand...dance break! Good, I just love them so much, it’s not even funny anymore. And I’ve been singing this song randomly since it came out. I can’t stop. It has burned itself into my brain. Let’s dis-co-teque right at my home! *waves arms around with no sign of coordination*

(and does anyone else feel like he’s serhat, just with a different alignment? Like, they are both chaotic, but serhat is chaotic neutral and he’s either chaotic good or chaotic bad, it really depends on the way he looks at the camera)

Italy (Maneskin – Zitti E Buoni)

Italy delivers, as they do every year. Not only do I really like this song (it is very much my genre), THIS is an aesthetic I can get behind! Knowing Eurovision, I doubt it will win, but damn if it won’t be super fun! (I am so glad this won Sanremo, hah.)

#eurovision #esc #eurovision song contest #esc 2021 #eurovision 2021 #rotterdam 2021

[period-dramallama]

Spanish Princess episode 7: the episode that had no right to be as good as it was

Come with meeeeeeeeee and you’ll beeeeeeeeeee in a wooooooooooooooooooorld of English Reformation~

-OK I had a lot of thoughts on how this ep handled Protestantism but the TLDR is: they misunderstood the theology of it, IMHO, but they actually were much more balanced than I was expecting.

-Maybe it’s my bias, but the printing press scenes were awesome. 

-the word ‘Protestant’ is being used 30 years too soon- but I get why they’re using it.

-”You’re dead Sassenach” some people have pointed out the guy called that is a Scot but I think the boy’s just using it as an insult and they’re play-fighting so I think he’s pretending his opponent is English Scum just as Hal Stewart’s pretending to be killed

-Accuracy! Thomas More did indeed lead a raid on the Steelyard, IIRC, though again it’s prob happening too soon, and he’s not undersheriff any more. They continue to knit sweaters out of the thread of linear time

-”the answer does not lie in here but in there,” I was highkey worried Henry was going to point at his own testicles.

-Please get Henry a barber. He has superglued a party city wig to his own face.

-”we were going after deer!” he sounds so much like a spoiled child i have to laugh

-the way Georgie says NO i love the inflection so much, I should make it my text alert for my least favourite people.

-”She creates bad humour in our land” “You mean she’s rude about your poetry?” “SO RUDE *sobs*”

-Wolsey has a reputation for relative tolerance and inaction on heresy, but historians seem to be finding that he was more invested in punishing heresy than previous histories and depictions (eg Wolf Hall) have shown. (At least so far as it was his job to do). He’s still hella villainized in this show.

-Allying with Angus? Sounds like Bad Decision #785

-CGI London looks way too big for a city of ~70,000 people

-Lina, I love you, but it has never been safe for a woman to walk around London alone at night. Not in 2020, 1820, or 1520. Especially before the invention of street lamps.

You can tell this episode was written by men

-”an army is for valiant purpose” Oviedo I love you but you’re a soldier, you’ve seen wars fought for political gain and not for moral reasons. Why you only shocked now? You should be more concerned that you’re attacking civilians instead of fellow militarymen.

-”what are you doing in the church?” “bitch i live here”

-”where are your ladies?” good question

-”it’s her own soul she risks, not mine” when you’re so selfish you accidentally become the most religiously tolerant person in the room.

-Wolsey’s face was a joy this episode. I want to make a moodboard of his beautiful sassy faces.

-the way Wolsey said “Thomas...” at More and Maggie looked angry... I think she was thinking “Really? You’re going to steal MY man now?!”

-why’s Henry Pole guarding More?? He’s a baron?? He outranks More??

-”maybe even have some lemon cake” it’s official, Margaret Pole is Sansa Stark

-”bathe me better and I will relax” she is literally a toddler omg

-”I have bathed you for years, no lady could do better” you can say that again, any other lady would have dunked katherine’s head under the water by now

-”to love the king why do you have to hate so many others” 

what happened?? the lines?? are so good?? i am SHOOKETH

-shot of the wavering compass...heavy-handed but i loved it

-Ursula geeking out over her garden :’) i get it girl i got into gardening myself this year.

-”my wife is the only sight I care for” *smooch* the second man in England to have rights! Thank god they’re so in love, given the real couple were married for 40 years. (They totally left the room to go make out, didn’t they.)

-Raiders of the Lost Inheritance Deeds

-WHERE ARE THE BOLEYN GIRLS?? THESE ARE STARTING TO BE THE YEARS THEY’RE AT COURT??

-God Stephenie was amazing this episode. I felt her pain, she became such a more well-rounded character, I’m so glad she got to speak her mind to Catherine instead of continuing to simp for her and excuse her behaviour. If she betrays her secret next episode, her character arc will be complete. Also, after whitewashing Isabella’s actions as Gurl Powah, it’s so refreshing to have Lina call out religious persecution of all flavours, not just against Lutherans. 

-”my own husband?” Lina...did you just... tell Catherine your husband isn’t Christian? Run?

-My theory was correct! TSP!KOA is indeed trying to be her mother!

-”ugly altar boys” Aardvark is on FIRE this episode. Everyone is bringing their snark game.

-good use of spooky strings

-mention of humours! Accuracy point! Also I’m glad that Katherine hanging out in her nightdress with men was called out for being hella sus in the Tudor worldview.

-the whole torture dungeon reveal reminded me of a similar scene in the 1999 movie Sleepy Hollow, but apart from that, it was perfect. No dialogue, just the camera, the props and Laura, and you tell the whole story with her face. This is why show don’t tell is so important!

-yes i am biased bc i never liked the ship, but the break up scene was great, for both their characters: More’s allowed to explain his worldview and Maggie is able to call him out. Also it answered the question “why Thomas More and not some tutor OC?” I’m not sure the bombshell justifies writing their romance, but at least it explains its existence. At least it built to some Juicy Drama. 

-poor Maggie though. The man she wants to sleep with won’t sleep with her, the man who wants to sleep with her she doesn’t want. Then she befriends both of them, only to lose their friendship when one dies of the plague and the other she wishes died of the plague because he’s terrible. Also her cousins keep being executed, her daughter’s terrified, and her son is way too fond of violence. Give the girl a hug.

-”watch your step” yeah we wouldn’t want you to get a splinter on your way to get your head lopped off. That would really suck. 

-the way the crowd groaned when henry’s letter was read out... they sounded like football fans when their team misses a goal.

-”Henry” just henry? not henry the king? No “PS: I’m so random lol” “PS: blow a kiss to Wolsey” No “Henry ex-oh-ex-oh-ex-oh”

-the obligatory gross thing obvs is the sideways beheading. His head bounces!

TLDR: By far and away, the best ep in the show so far in my opinion. It almost feels like it’s set in the sixteenth century. The history was still dodgy af, and so was much of the dialogue, but the drama was much more solid and less plot-holey, the pacing was good, and the foolish mistakes of Stafford and Catherine had actual consequences for the plot, the actors knocked it out of the park, some of the lines were accidentally brilliant. 

#the spanish princess

[purplesurveys]

1180

The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? Yeah, I’m pretty paranoid and always feel the need to use conditioner because of a bad rebonding job from like a decade ago that stiffened up my hair as soon as it would get wet. It lasted for around a year, so I formed the habit of always using conditioner every time I shower. I don’t think I’ve ever used just shampoo since then.

Do you prefer light or dark jeans?  Dark, but I suppose it would be nice to start experimenting with lighter shades as well.

When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen?  It depends if I know the lyrics or I’m feeling the song at the moment. Obviously with my new obsession with BTS I can’t really sing along to entire songs, but I do sing the few English lyrics they have per song, hahaha.

Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook?  Yeah but she’s been muted for like half a year already, as is the rest of her family. I do have plans to unfriend her entirely; I’m just not sure when I would push through with it, and I already gave Angela permission to log onto my account one of these days to be the one to do the unfriending.

Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person?  Gabie. I miss the friendship sometimes; I don’t think I’ll have a friendship as deep and connected as the one we had, so I will always feel sorry about how that went to waste. But I don’t really think about our relationship anymore as I’m pretty good at blocking off certain memories, so I don’t miss her in that sense.

How many cars are parked at your house right now?  Two.

Do you have any Italian ancestry?  I highly doubt so. If anything there’s probably a tiny drop Spanish blood in there but that’s the most European I’ll ever get.

Do you prefer water to be ice cold or at room temperature?  Like, drinking water? Ice cold, always. I hate warm water.

Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak?  Not to my face, but I know I’m one so I’m sure other people have said that about me at least behind my back.

Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found?  Yes, my friend Mik and one of my aunts. They were both found eventually.

What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten?  Eating ghost pepper instant noodles was a pain I would never want to go through again...I threw that shit out after my first forkful, lmao.

Do you need to talk to someone?  No, not in particular. In a more general sense I do wanna start gaining more friends though, so I’ve been meaning to expand my circle by creating a new Twitter account just for my BTS dump. In other words, I am a 23 year old with a stan Twitter HAHAHAHA

Is something confusing you at the moment?  No, I’m good.

When was the last time you had a real deep chat?  Maybe my conversation with Andi a couple of nights back. We were talking about a tricky situation with their ex-friend who turned out to be a real dick when they came out to him a year ago, and they just wanted to get my perspective on how I would handle it.

Who did you last see on webcam?  The PR manager for one of our clients, who we all despise because he doesn’t know how to do his job. Thankfully he’s resigning soon so we’re all just waiting for him to leave and finally meet a much more competent replacement.

What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)?  Angela has two dogs, Hailey and Kennedy. Andi had Apollo, who I wanted to meet so badly but sadly he passed away a week ago at 15.

Have you ever taken a picture while laying in the grass?  There are photos of me sitting on grass, but not lying in it. I would imagine that would feel very prickly and uncomfortable.

Who’s your favorite Disney character? Baymax or Flynn Rider.

Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk?  I’ve made my friends chug drinks or down shots and it’s happened vice versa, but it was always in good fun and we never made each other harassed from it. It’s just your typical college rambunctiousness, and if anyone felt uncomfortable or iffy then we didn’t hesitate to move on.

When was the last time you used a pay phone and who were you calling?  I’ve only ever seen those in my first school, when I was in kindergarten. I never got to use it and they also took them out not long after.

Do you like being kissed on the neck?  Yessssssssss

Have you ever had sex with someone you weren’t dating (but had feelings for) in the hopes that they would ask you out later?  Nope. I don’t think I would have sex with anyone I wasn’t dating.

What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a good bra?  Probably a couple thousand bucks if I thought I looked good in it.

Do you have any of your teachers’ personal cell phone numbers saved in your contacts list?  I don’t think so. I never tried getting close with any of them, and I always tried to stay hidden as much as possible. I was just in class to get good grades and pass.

Do you ever stalk peoples’ personal blogs, even if you don’t know them very well?  I never really scroll through people’s Tumblrs anymore. That was more of a thing I did in like 2013, but these days going through my dashboard is enough.

What’s one thing about today’s generation that you just can’t stand?  Some social media trends done for clout make me revolted, especially when it has anything to do with wasting food. I also hate when they do extreme pranks that I know I wouldn’t find funny if I were ever the victim, like tossing someone’s phone into the ocean.

Be honest: how do you feel about abortion?  Pro-choice. 

Is there anyone you currently want to reach out to?  I would love to catch up with Katreen at some point, but I know we’re at different points in our lives now and it would probably never happen.

What is your favorite piece of art you own?  I commissioned my sister to make an artwork of the 2D1N cast, and she did a great job making it! I haven’t gotten to use it or promote it yet, but I will soon. It’s really well-done.

What’s the one thing you apologized for this month?  Replying late.

My favorite color is ______?  Pastel pink.

I wish I had _____?  Longer weekends.

What did you buy today? Nothing – I’d call that a success lmao, I’ve been spending money as if I had a million fucking bucks over the last week. I did have some packages arrive today though: my own copy of 2 Cool 4 Skool (my first physical BTS album!!!!!!); the official poster from their album BE; the Ivy Park sneakers I ordered earlier this month, and an Ivy Park bucket hat Bea had apparently gotten for me as a birthday present.

What has challenged your morals?  Vices.

What made you pick up the last book you started reading?  I had to read it in preparation for a one-on-one session with my employer’s CEO.

What about your life concerns you the most? Whether a stable future is in the cards for me.

What do you find particularly offensive? Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend?  Probably Filipino-American comedians or influencers who use stereotyping of Filipino accents and habits as a punchline; they do more harm to the culture than good. I can tell you not one Filipino who lives in the Philippines actually finds those funny, and Bretman Rock is probably the only personality who’s able to flaunt the culture in an entertaining and hilarious yet classy way.

When it comes to being offended, I guess it depends on the context. My humor can get pretty dark and low-blowy, but I would have a problem with someone who I know has genuinely problematic views.

What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another?  I think it may had still been Start-Up from last December. I’m not too big on Korean dramas since I find one episode waaaaaaayyyyyyy too long. I don’t think I’ll be starting on anything soon, Korean or otherwise.

What is one way in which you are different from a year ago? What is one way in which you are still the same?  I’m single now, for the first time in technically six years. I also think I’m doing better and happier, breakup notwithstanding. OH and I love wasabi now, hahah. As for what’s unchanged, I still like taking surveys and I’m still stuck at home, though the latter’s not really in my control anymore.

If you could learn about anything without the stress of grades or cost, what kind of classes would you take?  I’d just go back to UP for the free tuition. We also have the widest range of programs out of any university in the country, so it’s a damn good deal.

Name a song you’ve listened to today?  Fly To My Room - BTS

When you were younger, did you have a swing set or a playhouse in your backyard?  We didn’t; but one of our relatives that we’d regularly visit did have a playground that I’d use all the time. It’s still there, just very unmaintained since no one uses it anymore.

Is your mall nice?  Which one? We have five different malls nearby lol. Mall culture here is on another level.

Do you have a Sonic near you? If so, what’s your favorite drink from there?  No. I’m not so sure what they serve there, either. I’m guessing milkshakes?

Will you be voting in the presidential elections next time around?  I’ll always exercise my right to vote.

How do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries?  I hate strawberries and I hate fruits, so even if you coat that shit in Nutella and cookie butter and chocolate syrup I still wouldn’t touch it.

Did you ever stop having feelings for someone and then started having those feelings again for them? No.

Do you hate the last guy you had a thing with?  I’ve never had a thing with guys.

To whom did you last give the finger?  I haven’t had to do that in a while.

What was the last musical instrument played in your presence?  My sister’s keyboard.

Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream?  Not particularly. They make things look cute, but they never taste like anything tbh so I never saw the point in paying extra just to have them on my desserts.

Honestly, have you ever crashed a party before?  Nah. I cringe thinking about that.

Do you know how to do the moon walk?  I don’t.

Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice?  Never gotten that specific compliment before because I know I don’t have one.

Onion rings or french fries?  Onion rings.

Has anybody ever described you as a heart breaker? No.

Has anybody ever told you that you talk too fast?  I don’t think so, but I know I have the tendency to do so occasionally, especially while I’m presenting a deck. Once I notice it I make an effort to pace myself.

Who is the best cook that you know?  My dad and both my grandmas all deserve that title.

Which meal throughout the day do you skip the most?  I literally never have lunch ever.

What’s the largest amount that you can juggle at one time?  I can’t juggle.

What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground as a kid?  Sandboxes, since I liked the texture; the sandboxes in school were also often empty, which worked well for my introvert self. I find that it’s carried over to today, since I still enjoy touching things like slime and kinetic sand.

Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much?  I think 5 or 6 lbs, I’m not exactly sure but it’s definitely somewhere in that small range.

Which aspect of your daily routine takes the most time? What do you do?  Work, for sure. I work a normal 9–6 so that’s already 8 hours out of my day, but I also OT a lot after hours, and I work throughout my lunch break as well so that technically makes it 9 hours. I also like getting up earlier and starting some work before my shift so that I would have less tasks on my plate for the day.

Do you enjoy buying gifts for others, or could you do without this?  I LOVE getting people gifts. Food is especially my love language, and I always get food delivery for my friends, family, and my team at work.

What is one thing you are expected to do, if anything?  I mean, I have work deadlines tomorrow so there’s that.

How do you tend to view driving? Monotonous or entertaining?  I love driving. I don’t think I ever complained about having to do it. It’s calming and relaxing when I’m doing it alone or with a partner; and it can be entertaining with the right set of people.

Do you enjoy talking about music with others? Not always. If I don’t listen to the artist then I can find the conversation quite boring, like if my friends would get into a full-blown discussion about Taylor Swift.

Is acting something you enjoy?  No. It wouldn’t even be something I’d be interested in doing.

When do you feel most accomplished?  Finishing a work day with no tasks left behind.

Do you think Manwich is amazing or completely gross?  Idk what that is.

How many best friends do you have?  Two.

Are you a smoker, drinker, pothead or none of the above?  I drink sometimes. I also kinda smoke, I guess.

If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced?  My mom had them pierced when I was a month old.

Do you own any exercise machines?  My mom has this rowing equipment thingy. I don’t have any of my own, though.

On Facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings?  No.

Have you ever drawn or painted a self-portrait?  I remember having to draw one as a school assignment, but I’m pretty sure I half-assed that because I couldn’t care less for art class back then.

Who was your last voicemail from?  We don’t have voicemails.

Have you ever been falsely accused of something serious?  I don’t think so. That’s the sort of situation that would stick out in my memory if ever.

Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid?  No, not a thing here.

When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language?  Around an hour ago when I went downstairs and chatted with my sister briefly.

Have you ever received an anonymous gift?  Nope.

Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day?  Nope but I definitely still wouldn’t be opposed to doing that haha.

When were you the saddest in your life? 2016 was fucking miserable. < I’d have to agree. 2017 was also awful.

Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you?  I used to know one but she got out of it. In a sense, I suppose I also was in one.

If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you?  Well they’re younger, so they definitely still live here, with our parents. I’m the first one expected to move out, but I’m taking my time.

Have you ever gotten searched by the cops?  No.

Do you like fried rice?  Of course. I like any kind of rice.

What was the last thing you drank?  Water.

#survey #surveys

[marshmallowprotection]

ANOTHER MC! YES I KNOW SO MANY OOF LOL. 

Match up as usual.

I honestly had trouble coming up with her personality- Like…making someone whose mature and older sisterly and whose also a idol for some reason is hard??? idk oof. Less sad MC this time but still with a bit of tragedy. But she’s not unable to move on like Marina, or manipulated by Rika into Mint Eye through Rika by making her trust her like Sayaka, so yeah.

No drawing this time, I have to do my math and science finals after this so oof.

Full Name: Yeona Mae

International Age: 25 (AS) 26 (OS)

Korean Age: 26 (AS) 27 (OS)

Nicknames: N/A

Blood Type: O+

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Marital Status: Single; Has Had 3 Previous Serious Relationships, the third of which would have resulted in marriage had her fiancee not passed away.

Ethnicity: Korean

Nationality: South Korea

Religion: Catholic

Birthdate: September 14th, 1990

Zodiac: Virgo

Height: 5′5 ft (165 cm)

Weight: 130 lbs (58 kgs)

*Status: Alive (All Routes Except Certain Endings)

Cleansed (V’s B1, and all of Ray’s bad endings) 

*In the secret ending, if she is not the MC, Yeona is kidnapped by Unknown by order of Rika (due to her extreme amount of influence and connections) and was about to go through her cleansing ceremony before the whole fiasco with V’s death. 

Yeona is also kidnapped in Another Story regardless of route if she is not the MC, and her fate differs based on the ending. If on V’s route and Bad Ending 1 occurs, she is cleansed and becomes part of Mint Eye since she was not able to escape with V, the MC, and Seven (and Myung if she exists in the timeline. Remember, there are multiple different timelines in the world of SV’s (short for SerendipitousValkeria) version of the Mystic Messenger universe.). Yeona escapes in all of V’s other endings. 

In Ray’s route she escapes alone after Ray manages to help her escape before he hurries to help the MC of the route; note only if Ray’s Bad Ending 3 has not had it’s required conditions fulfilled will she be able to escape, so if she does not that would become a sign that your at the point of no return to Ray’s B3. she also does not escape in any of the other bad endings Ray has. 

Occupation: Second child of the CEO of a company similar in size to C&R, one of the most popular Idols in South Korea.

Hobbies: Singing, Working Out (Not As Much As Zen Does, Though), Swimming, Visiting Her Fiancée’s Grave

Likes: The Ocean, Swimming, Playing Tennis, Taking Long Walks On Beaches, The Smell of Lavender, Listening To Music, Musicals, Watching Zen’s Musicals, Concerts

Dislikes: Echo Girl, Spiders, Alcohol, Her Mother, People Liking Her Only For Her Beauty, People Who Tell Her To “Just Get Over Your Fiancée Already!”

Affiliations: RFA 

Mint Eye (V’s B1, Ray’s B1, B2, and B3) 

Relatives: Father

Mother

Older Brother (2 years older)

Younger Brother (3 years younger)

Younger Sister (5 years younger) 

Unnamed Fiancée (Deceased)

Background: Yeona Mae is the second child of the CEO of a successful company which specializes in a variety of things. Her entire life she has mostly been pampered like a princess almost, however, she was always taken care of by people other than her parents, who were busy running the company, leading to her basically having to raise herself. She was also jealous of her older brother a lot due to him being the “favorite” since he was the heir to the company and was constantly fawned over by her parents, who ignored her and her younger brother and sister. She ended up also having to raise her younger siblings since they were also ignored by her parents. When she was 5 she went to her first concert, which caused her interest in music and singing. As time went on she started taking singing lessons. When she decided to start her career as a idol when she was 19, she explicitly told her parents she was going to start from scratch and build up her career on her own without their money or help, which they respected and haven’t in anyway influenced her career as a idol since. Her career started to really kick off when she was 21, with the release of her 10th song, “What Is Love?”, which was conceptualized with the question of “What is love, really?” as Yeona had no real concept of what love was since her parents were quite obviously in a loveless relationship, having more kids for the sake of having extra heirs in case of Yeona’s older brother being unable to take over the company when her father dies. Yeona’s first relationship was the first time she had ever really known what love was like, and despite the relationship not working out in the end, her and her first love are still friends. Yeona’s second relationship was with a fellow idol, but again, it didn’t work out. Yeona’s third relationship did end up working out as her third lover ended up proposing to her, and she said yes. However, tragically, her fiancée died in a car accident due to his friend being drunk and driving without him knowing and they both died in the crash. Yeona was devastated and put her idol career on hold to mourn. Because of the loss, Yeona ended up believing she could never love someone like that again because she was so lost in what to do, since her future with her fiancée was now gone and she didn’t know what to do with herself. However, eventually, she managed to move on somewhat and started back up her idol career with the song “Hearts Separated By Death”, then followed by it’s sequel, “Mended Heart”. Yeona got into swimming a little bit after her fiancée’s death as something to distract herself from everything and keep her mind off things.

Yeona could be described as a big sisterly sort of person, caring very much for those around her due to the fact she had to raise herself and her two younger siblings. Yeona overall lives in the present, especially after her fiancée died, preferring not to plan because things could go to shit very quickly. She enjoys every second and like to savor happy little moments and just not think about everything else. She also can be a bit absent minded, getting lost in her own world sometimes because of a desire to go to a world where everything can last forever- of course, she knows it’s a stupid fantasy that can never come true. Yeona also is very good at reading people, and it’s very hard to hard to hide what your feeling from her. It’s also hard to lie to her, though someone like Rika could still manage to deceive her. Yeona also has a smart mouth and can be very sassy and sarcastic when she wants to be. Yeona always heavily enjoys teasing people. 

Trivia:

1. Yeona has red hair (a little different than Saeyoung’s and Saeran’s) and green eyes.

2. Yeona’s most popular song is a song about her experience when her third boyfriend (and former fiancée) died in a car accident, called “Hearts Separated By Death”, created 7 months after he died.

3. Yeona’s favorite color is teal. 

4. Yeona despises Echo Girl but pretends to be “completely neutral” toward her.

5. Yeona is a fan of Zen and has met him before. She has often praised his work in public and in private. Their casual friends. 

6. Yeona has often had to debunk rumors about her and Zen being in a secret relationship because everyone wants to see the “prettiest idol around” and the “handsomest actor around” get together. She has stated she is still not in any position to get into another relationship (considering her fiancee died only 2 months before Rika “died”, so 20 months (or a year and 6 months) ago in CS and DS and 3 months ago in AS). 

7. Since she comes from a wealthy family, Yeona had the resources to learn multiple languages, and so besides Korean and Korean Sign Language, Yeona is also fluent in: English, Spanish, Chinese, and Japanese, as well as their forms of sign language, which has been useful due to her little brother (who is 3 years younger) being born mute. — Submission

I match with you... 

V! 

You’re the kind of person that cares about everyone around you. It’s never really been about you. It’s been about everyone else in the room and it’s hard for you to accept that you can be selfish sometimes. It’s unfortunate, but it happens far more often than it should to many people. Still, you don’t let it get you down as much as it might, but it’s hurting your heart whether you want to open up about this fact or not. It makes it hard for you to reach out to others when you do find yourself catching feelings because how does one open up when they’re not sure what love should feel like? 

Gonna go out on a limb and say that you need the kind of partner that understands what you’re going through and won’t force you to rush and do anything. You and V are both the type that needs to be friends before you rush headstrong into something. There’s a lot that you could learn from each other on the front of opening up about what hurt you in the first place. So, you’re the types to exchange letters, texts, and late night phone calls as friends before romance ever hits. 

He may be the quiet type but he is supportive, he admires that you have the confidence to do what you wanted even if it made someone upset. He wishes that he would have had that gall when he was younger. No changing the past but he’s happy to spend his future with you. He can be a bit-scattered himself so you both need to be on top of each other when it comes to times and dates. 

#littleghostlyrose #cmc #oc #ask #mod kait #jihyun kim #submission

[thinking-in-symbols]

Quinquennial Life Assessment

So, it’s been a few years.  When I was 19 I posted a sort of “roadmap” for the evolution of my life on this blog.  Today I thought I’d revisit that.  I want to take a look back and see what progress I’ve made, and then in a separate post I want to turn to the future, think about how my vision for it has changed, and consider how I can reincorporate these goals into that vision.

This is the list of things I wanted to get done in varying time frames.  I’ve crossed off the things I’ve done to get a sense of my progress:

1 year:

At 19, my hopes were to accomplish the following things by age 20:

- Joined, and consistently participated in, at least 2 campus organizations that suit my interests, at least 1 of which should be competitive in nature - well, I joined the ISO and KVRX, my college radio station!  Neither of those were competitive, but in retrospect I don’t really care about that :-)

- Made concrete plans to study abroad - Nope, unfortunately I never did this.  I’m not quite sure I regret that, all things considered - I traded that experience for other things.  I did make plans to spend a few months abroad of my own accord, and I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for that meddling global pandemic.  But as it stands I haven’t done this.

- Learned C++ and python to proficiency - Hm.  “Proficient” is a relative term.  But I think I have a tendency to downplay my skills, so in the interest of counteracting that I’m going to count myself as “proficient” in these languages.  I think that’s fair.

- Gone on at least a several day road trip with at least 1 friend - I’ve gone on several trips with @meeshbug​, my very lovely girlfriend and best friend in the world :-)

- Decided on a concentration beyond the extremely vague umbrella of “computer science” - Unfortunately as far as my education is concerned I never really did this.  If anything my interests have *broadened* rather than becoming more focused.  More on this later...

- Made meaningful, ongoing contributions to an open-source project - You know what?  I’ve published the source of everything I’ve ever made, and I’ve gotten to the point where I can make stuff that’s not trivial.  So I’m giving myself credit for this one.

- Learned to cook enough meals to eat in most days and not get sick of my own food - I wish.  I’ve learned to cook a fair amount of stuff but I still get way too depressed and lethargic to apply that consistently.  Whether I consider myself to have achieved this honestly depends on the month.

- Learned to keep my living area clean - I’m much better at this than I was at 19, but at 19 I could barely clear a path to walk across my room.  So there’s more work to do.  More on these last two later.

- Gotten a pet - Meesh and I have a dog named Courage (after the dog of cowardly fame) and a cat named Jax!

2 years:

- Independently written a piece of software to completion and deployed it publicly - I’ve always pretty bad at actually seeing projects through to completion, but I do have a few full, independent projects under my belt at this point.  I’ve built a simple game engine, a pathtracer, plugins for games I like, and some other stuff.

- purchased and begun regularly using some basic amateur radio equipment - Ah man.  I got my license but I still haven’t gotten any equipment.  I guess I have to get on that...

- purchased and begun experimenting with some basic music recording equipment - This one I’ve done, but I haven’t done as much experimenting as I’d like.

- hosted a party - I did this for my 21st birthday and it’s one of my favorite memories!  Honestly this was probably the last time I had all my really close friends in one place.  I’m actually getting kind of emotional about that.

- done some kind of hallucinogen - I have now done this.  I definitely did get something out of it, albeit not what I expected.  This is something I actually only did pretty recently and it’s still having a pretty profound effect.  Maybe I’ll write a separate post about this.

- Gone camping with friends - Despite my best efforts, this hasn’t happened yet.  Pretty fucked up.

3 years:

- learned to play another instrument besides the piano (guitar?) - I don’t feel comfortable crossing this one off quite yet, but I went ahead and bought myself some guitar equipment and have been messing around with it lately :-) I think I’m going to have to bite the bullet and pay for lessons if I’m serious about this, which I am.

- Written and recorded a song - Damn, I can’t believe it’s been 5 years and I haven’t even done this.

- Met a group of people I can play music with - nope

- Owned a leather jacket.  I can’t believe I’ve still never even owned a leather jacket - I’ve done this and wore it frankly too much.  Kinda cringe.

- Worked as a professional software developer - Yep!  Worked as a software developer for a retail company for a couple years.  I’m actually not working as a software developer right now, though; I’m working in a sort of adjacent position.  More on this later.

- Participated in research related to my field - That’s pretty ambitious.  Not sure I’ll ever do this, unfortunately.  But we’ll see.

- Been to a film festival - Oh shit, I totally forgot about having written this.  That’s a cool idea.  I should do this, it’s not like it’s hard (well, at least in principle.  I guess covid kind of changes the situation).

- Gotten a dog - Courage is one of those, I think, although he might also be part rat.

- collected 50 records - Lol, my dumb ass really thought I was going to buy $1,000 worth of records on college money.  No, I haven’t done this, but I’m on my way there.

- Purchased a desktop computer - Well, my dad gave me his old desktop.  That’s not really a purchase but I think it counts.

5 years:

- Begun accepting freelance development gigs - haven’t gotten here yet and I’m not totally sure this is a direction I want to go in my career.  Freelancing has its own stressors as I’ve come to learn from others.  No career path is sunshine and roses and I’m trying to internalize this fact.

- Participated in a student film - Nope.  I don’t even know why I wrote this down to be honest.

- Gotten laid by solving a 5x5 Rubik’s Cube in front of a girl because surely that’s gonna have to work on someone eventually, otherwise I wasted a lot of time - These are getting weird.  Surely I didn’t really expect this to happen, right?  Well, either way I now have a long-term girlfriend, so I don’t - wait, Meesh has seen me solve a Rubik’s cube and she saw it before we started dating.  So actually I’m going to give myself credit for it.  I’m the one who makes the rules here.

- Fleshed out my political opinions - Yes, I now know everything about politics and can answer 100% of questions on political issues.  Just kidding.  But I know where I stand.

- Participated in a protest or some other kind of political event - Done!  Went to a few protests as part of the ISO, participated in lots of their events, and attended some protests with friends as well.

- Studied abroad - Nope :-/

- Learned a language other than Spanish - I took a semester of French!  But I don’t quite want to give myself credit for this one because I really would like to learn a different language to something resembling fluency.

- Run a marathon - Lmao.  I am in much worse shape now than I was when I wrote this post, and even at that time I could probably do like 7 miles if I really pushed myself.  How sad.

- Gone hiking outside of texas - This is weird because I’d literally already done this when I wrote this post.  But I’ve done it more since then, so hey!

- Been out of the country with a friend - This I had also already done.  I guess the point is to have done it without “adult supervision” or whatever.  I haven’t done this since writing this list so I guess I have to leave it uncrossed.

10 years:

- Lived with a girl for an extended period of time - Meesh 🥰

- Spent at least 6 months living on the road in an RV, preferably with a dog and a girl - God, I am so close to being able to do this.  I don’t want it to be an RV anymore - those things are expensive.  But a van?  Still pricey, but doable, especially if I’m willing to sacrifice some comfort.  This has actually been front-of-mind for a while.  I’ll let you know when I get the balls to pull the trigger.

- Started making Real Money - Well, yep, I have gotten to that point.  I do have other thoughts on this, though.  Money is weird, man.

- Lived in a long-term living space outside of Texas (i.e. not including RV time) - How long is long-term?  Three months?  If so, I’ve done this by living in Boston with Meesh for a few months after she went there for law school.  However, I anticipate staying there much longer in the near future, so I’ll wait on this crossing this one off.

- Written a book about something, idk - Not yet.  I’m halfway to the deadline on this one and I have some ideas, but ideas aren’t worth all that much, especially to me, who rarely sees them through.  We’ll see where this goes.  It’s not exactly a priority and historically I struggle to get even my priorities done.  It might make more sense to replace this with recording a concept or narrative album, for which I also have ideas that I happen to take more seriously.

- Learned to solve a 6x6 Rubik’s Cube - nope

- Gotten laid by solving a 6x6 Rubik’s Cube - nope

- Lived in an apartment where I pay all the rent - Yes!  :-))) We love independence

- Earned an advanced degree (this one’s iffy) - This hasn’t happened, and whether it will ever happen is something I’ve been thinking a lot about.  I sort of decided half-way through college that I would be totally burned out on school by the time I graduated.  But in retrospect it takes way less time to burn out on work than it does to burn out on school, and grad degrees are a different kind of thing.  So it’s worth revisiting.’

- Given a best man speech (Sam, this means you have to get married within the next 10 years.  Good luck out there.) - Holy shit, Sam, you maniac, you actually did it!  Sam got married back in 2019 and I gave his best man speech! It’s another one of my favorite memories :-) 

- Gone on a cruise with someone I’m dating - Hmm, not yet.  I’ve gone on cool trips, but none on a boat.  Maybe that’s something to aim for after the pandemic passes :-)

Retrospective:

1yr: Completed: 5/9

More than half isn’t bad!  I’m not gonna worry too much about whether I got these things done within their assigned “time-frame”.  I’m a procrastinator in my heart and I don’t see any reason to put that kind of pressure on myself.  The point is, they got done.  That’s enough for me.

The things I did best in in this category were academic things, and things to do with relationships.  I’m proud of the academic achievements, I really feel like doing them has increased my belief in myself and my sense that I’m good at the thing I’ve spent the last four years studying.  And of course, I am so happy to be in a loving, fulfilling relationship that brings so many good things into my life.  I almost feel like the things I accomplished sort of fell into my lap - of course I’m gonna do programming stuff as a programming student, and getting pets / going on road trips are things I did as a result of my relationship with Meesh.  I don’t say that to downplay the accomplishments, but I do think it’s worth noting.

The things I haven’t done are more to do with personal development, which is disappointing.  I would like to be able to say, 5 years down the road, that I’ve done the personal development I expected to do in just a single year, but maybe that’s a lot to expect.  These are problems I’ve dealt with my whole life.  I think what this means is that I can’t expect everything to fall into my lap.  Those things are going to take real concerted effort to change.  I’m not quite sure how to go about that, though.

2yrs: Completed: 4/6

Two-thirds!  Even better!

Lots of these are one-time accomplishments, not so much long-term commitments to personal development.  The good news is, I did them, and I think those resulted in some development in their own right :-)

Again, though, the things I didn’t do so well are the things that require long-term, concerted effort.  For instance, while I crossed off the one about experimenting with music, it’s really only the initial investment that I’ve really done at this point.  It remains to be seen whether I’ll be able to follow through on the commitment to actually experiment and learn.

3yrs: Completed: 4/10

This category also follows the same pattern I’ve noticed with the last two.  The other thing I’m noticing is that so, so much of my effort over the past few years has been going towards developing a very particular skill: programming / computer science.  Music and art are so important to me, but I’ve done very little real development in those areas.  I mean, I’ve done some.  But not as much as I would have hoped for half a decade.

5yrs: Completed: 4/10

This is getting a little more fun because less of my goals have to do explicitly with my degree.  I’m starting to think beyond college, which is good, because the stage of life I’m in right now requires me to start thinking about the kind of life I want to build now that I’m done with school.  Also, I’m at the deadline for this one right now!  So this is a particularly interesting category because it really shows where I thought I’d be by this time.

The goals I accomplished in this timeframe are, again, mostly things I’ve done through my relationship, but politics also feature pretty prominently on this part of the list.  I spent a lot of time reading and researching political issues during college and really did look for ways to participate.  I honestly made politics a pretty big part of my identity over the last 5 years, and I think it will stay that way forever, but I’ve gotten to the point where I think I need to devote less of my mental energy to knowing more.  I know what I need to know.  It’s time to think about other things.

10yrs: Completed: 4/11 (and counting!)

There’s some career stuff in this section that I’ve been able to do, which is good news.  I’ve always been scared about entering the working world.  All things told, it’s gone more smoothly than it could have.  But I also have lots of lingering doubts about what I want to do in the long term.  So one of the most pressing goals I should aim for is to resolve those doubts.

Ultimately, I have a lot of time left, and I’m not even done with this time frame, so I’m not gonna spend much time dissecting the things I haven’t done.  What I’ll do instead is say that while I didn’t do everything on this list, I feel proud of the things I have accomplished.  I said when I first wrote this list that it’s sometimes hard for me to feel that my life is moving in any particular direction, and I’m still feeling like that five years later, to be honest.  But looking back on these things has helped me see that I actually am making progress in my life.  Not in all the ways I want to, but that’s OK.  There’s still time.

In the next couple days I want to come back to this and reorganize this list into an updated set of goals, for the same time frames.  Maybe that will help me think through exactly what it is I want out of the next five-ten years, with the benefit of having analyzed the things that I did and didn’t do well over the previous five.

[general-du-vallon]

[Found this in my docs, it was gonna be part of a longer thing but I’m never going to finish it now and it kinda stands on it’s own. Mostly. Just imagine the rest :) the opening makes it sound like it’s gonna be an adventure but it’s not really, when have I ever written PLOT lol. WARNINGS: canon typical violence, injury, blood.]

Where to begin...

Three months ago. General du Vallon went missing three months ago, dragged off a battlefield somewhere. Brujon saw him hauled away but was too far away to do anything, the general too far ahead, their retreat too thorough, the general left, somehow, behind when they ran from the Spanish guns. They hadn’t won that fight and when the air cleared and they reached their previous position and the day quieted, the general was gone. The Spanish took plenty of prisoners, it wasn’t unusual. The Queen’s Musketeers had been deployed more than once to aid a covert rescue, spring a man who knew too much, sneak in behind while the army roared at the front gates as a distraction.

The apparatus of French Intelligence gathering had clunked and creaked into service and for a while the search for the general was all anyone spoke of. Court was full of it, the general being a favourite for his stories and his wife being friend to the queen, his daughter delighting them all. The streets had been full of it for the adventure and the thrill and he’d been the hero many times, enough that talk of his capture and the search for him turned quickly to ‘I heard about a time when…’ and ‘do you think he really…’ and ‘did you hear about that mission in…’. The Red Guard had been full of it, snide remarks about ‘once a musketeer always a musketeer’ veiling respect. The Musketeers had spoken of little else. 

But then, a month ago, Cardinal Mazarin had got word from his spies that General du Vallon was either dead or turned traitor. That had been quickly silenced, but along with that any talk of the general at all was silenced.

“It’s going to be okay, general.”

Porthos hears Athos’s hoarse, exhausted voice, calm and sure. It’s going to be okay, you know that right? Yeah, Porthos knows. His arm across Athos’s shoulders, he knows. Despite the blood and the pounding in his head from what he’s lost and the pounding of the guns, the earth tearing up around them as they run, as Athos drags him. He knows. God, they had better be alright to make this pain worth it. He runs the last bit, roaring and throwing his weight so Athos falls behind cover, too. So he’s over Athos as earth and shrapnel and who knows what falls out of the sky to strike him. Where is d’Artagnan? He doesn’t know. But they are going to be alright, everything will be okay. 

“General.”

“Don’t need the general’s input, Ath, come on. He’ll just tell us to send in our men to be slaughtered like they’re cattle.”

“General.”

“Eh?”

“General du Vallon.”

Porthos raises his head, weary, sweat and blood obscuring his view, and meets Brujon’s worried gaze. 

“Yeah,” he says, his voice wrecked. “I know. What is it?”

“We’re in France, sir.”

“I’ve done this before,” Porthos mutters, letting his head rest against his breast again, some musketeer’s jacket around him that isn’t his own familiar leather. “Other end of it hurt less.”

He sighs and gathers his strength. And the jacket - it’s not his, but it is quite nice. Much newer than his. He might keep this. If he bleeds on it enough he’s sure he can make a case for it belonging to him. Blood relative. Something like that. He rests his cheek against his shoulder and closes his eyes and bleeds into the leather.

They said...

The Queen’s Musketeers garrison is always busy. They have a royal family to protect; a very young king and a regent who is arguably more Spanish than French. There is always something to protect them from. The garrison is also always busy because while it’s the Red Guard's duty to police the streets of Paris, they are no better under Cardinal Mazarin than ever before, which means there’s always plenty of messes to mop up. And plenty of duels for young men to throw themselves into in the name of defending many honours. Madam d’Artagnan always has a lot to say on the matter of fighting. and the cadets especially always put on a good show of sheepishness, but… well. 

When push comes to shove, most of them are there because they like the fight. Musketeers don’t die easily but they rarely live long unless they retire, either. Or get married, which is currently the furore of the week; monsieur Lefébure is to be married, and his brothers-in-arms are giving him a good send off. He is to be married and to take up a small position at court riding on his family’s name and the title his father passed to him. One pre-marital ritual is to fight a last fight with every man in the garrison. He has almost reached the end of them, just two cadets lined up and they’ll be dispatched easily. 

“Monsieur!” Madam d’Artagnan says, hurrying under the arches, pushing through to where the captain is leaning on a table, idly cleaning a pistol, watching Lefébure fight with a critical eye. The musketeers part to let Madam d’Artagnan through and the captain straightens, putting his hat on and accepting the scroll she presses into his hands. “Message from the gate. Is it…?”

Madam d’Artagnan has her breath held, the men can feel it. They lean in closer, also waiting for whatever news this is, catching her mood. The captain frowns and madam d’Artagnan loses her patience and snatches the missive back, eyes running over it. She lets out an exclamation and runs for the arch again. 

“Constance! You don’t need - wait!” the captain calls. 

Some of the men move half-heartedly to stop her, to catch her and bring her back. Some, who have been on the sharp end of her temper, decidedly do not. And some, who have sparred with her, take a definite step back away from her as she whirls away, hair and dresses flying. She comes running back within moments and there’s a scuffle and confusion as people try to get out of her way again. Lefébure shifts to stand at Gonteut’s shoulder. 

“What is this?” Gonteut whispers. 

“Something to do with Brujon’s mission,” Lefébure whispers back. “He’s the only one who’s out at the moment, everything else is within the city. He is the only one who might’ve sent word from the gate.”

“What was his mission?” Gonteut asks. 

There’s similar whispers and mutters around the courtyard as Madam d’Artagnan grabs the captain’s hand and drags him toward the arch. There’s a clatter of hooves as they reach half-way and five horses come through, lead by Brayer. Brujon is right behind and he’s out of the saddle before they stop and running to the next horse. The courtyard goes silent, trying to work out who the man is, bent across the saddle, falling with a groan but steadied by Brujon shoving, gripping his thigh. It forces him to stay seated until Brayer can dismount and join him, Varlet rushing to the other side to try and help and Roux hurrying toward the captain. Captain d’Artagnan ignores Roux and pushes Varlet aside, looking upwards. He says something and the man’s head bobs, shifting, his body slouching, turning toward the captain. There’s a moment of stillness, then a groan. 

“Let go, Brujon,” the captain says, and he slows the man’s descent as he slides from the horse into his arms, d’Artagnan laughing. 

“We’ve done this before, captain,” the man says. 

“I remember it being easier last time,” d’Artagnan says, arms around the man. 

“Porthos,” Madam d’Artagnan says, shaking off whatever had her rooted, pushing through to her husband and taking the stranger into her arms instead. 

“‘Porthos’?” Lefébure murmurs, and he can hear that stirring through the rest of them, too. “It’s the general.”

“Fuck,” Gonteut says. 

Which just about sums it up, really. No one spoke of him anymore. After Mazarin shut down the search, everyone accepted that the general was dead. Except Brujon, returning to Paris, shouting and roaring at captain d’Artagnan until the captain dragged him away and then rushing headlong around the city and then vanishing himself, only to return as if cowed, a week ago, tail between his legs, begging for a position at the garrison until he was commissioned at the front again. In all this time Madam and Mademoiselle du Vallon were seen coming and going at the Louvre and at the garrison, sometimes with Minister d’Herblay, sometimes alone. And then they’d been wearing black and the Musketeers had decided amongst themselves that their general was indeed dead, and they had lit their candles in church and sent up their prayers and mourned him. 

But here he is, caked in mud and blood and dirt, wearing what must be Roux’s jacket (none of the other’s would be a fit for his broad shoulders and it isn’t his own uniform, they all know his fleur-de-lys, decorated with the bull, entwined with intricate patterning and thick lines). As they all watch he sags in Madam d’Artagnan’s arms with another groan and a soft sigh, his head tipping back. They move forward as one to catch him but he’s already safe- Madam d’Artagnan is strong and she keeps him upright and they all know that strength, have all been held together by those hands. She rouses him and then drags his arm across her shoulders, holding him tight, glaring around at them when they don’t move out of the way. 

The captain is already rushing around them to the door, and then they’re gone, Brujon on their heels. Roux, Varlet and Brayer are all still in the courtyard and everyone closes around them, clamouring for the story. None of them will speak, however, and soon beg patience for rest and food; they will not be giving answers tonight. Not until their captain gives them leave to. Roux turns, just before ducking into the hall. 

“He is everything the stories suggest, and more,” he says, voice hoarse with tiredness. “He was shot in the course of saving us.”

They had suspected as much, or similar, and as Roux vanishes inside they break away into groups to discuss it. It is many hours before they remember that Lefébure is leaving them in two days time, and that two days is not nearly enough to get all the necessary drinking in. They bustle out to the taverns and inns and set about getting drunk. They avoid trouble, for once, though: their captain and Madam d’Artagnan are busy tonight. 

And then…

Constance watches as d’Artagnan paces, talking, gesticulating, and then she watches his retreating back as he goes for a physician. Brujon is sat at the table with a glass of water, he’s told d’Artagnan enough for now. He’s watching Porthos as Constance carefully pulls away layers of dirty cloth, baring his skin, looking for holes. She finds the wound low in his side, almost his hip. She feels for bone, but he seems to be mostly intact. She checks for the ball, instead finds there’s an exit wound. He’s been stitched already, messy, sloppy, thick stitches. 

“You did this?” she asks Brujon, putting her disapproval into her tone. Roux has a much steadier hand and Brayer has neater stitches. 

“The others were busy,” Brujon says, between gritted teeth. “Our general threw them off the boat into the sea.”

“Did he now?” Constance says, smiling, wetting a cloth and starting the process of cleaning Porthos. She’s done this before. His eyes open, glassy with exhaustion, pain, maybe fever. He smiles back at her. “Pushing people into the sea, eh?”

“My lips still taste of salt,” Porthos murmurs. “I’m keeping this jacket. Tell them?”

“General du Vallon is keeping Roux’s jacket,” Constance tells Brujon, who shrugs. “Why did he push them in?”

“We were being shot at,” Brujon says. “They swam for it. Would’ve pushed me in, too, left himself there to be captured again, but I shot them before he could. Got a ball right in the side of their boat and we watched them sink.”

“Did they drown?” Constance asks. Brujon shrugs. 

“Doubt it,” Porthos says, catching her hand and taking the cloth from her. 

“What are you gonna do with that?” she snaps, taking it back, slapping his hands away. “Lie still.”

“They were taking me somewhere else,” Porthos says, vaguely. “By boat. Then Brujon came for me.”

“Of course,” Brujon says. “I haven’t got a commission if you’re dead, sir. Or if you’re stripped of your position for turning traitor.”

“I do speak very good Spanish,” Porthos says. “Where is Aramis?”

“If Charles went to the palace for a physician, which he probably has, I assume the minister will return with him,” Constance says. “Your wife is not in Paris, however. The queen is at the hunting lodge again and Elodie went to petition her, hoping to get more resources for our search for you.”

“And Marie?” Porthos asks. 

“We sent her to Athos and Sylvie,” Constance says. “I will send word that you have meandered back quite safe.”

“I better go make sure Roux and the others don’t spread too many rumours,” Brujon says. “And make sure that they don’t tell too many tall tales about you, sir. You already have quite enough glory for one lifetime.”

Porthos struggles up onto his elbow to refute that, but Brujon is gone. Constance shoves and Porthos falls back against the bed with a groan. 

“Constance, I would prefer much more glory, there’s lots more room for praise, I can take a lot more than I have got,” Porthos says. His lips twitch. 

“Would you stop?” Constance scolds. 

Porthos grumbles but lies still for her until he’s clean and naked but for his underthings. She contemplates his hair, wondering if that could wait, but he’s already sitting up and tipping his head back, eyes closed. She sits in behind him and uses the last of the clean water, working it through Porthos’s hair, undoing his curls and getting it as clean as she can before twisting his hair back into its patterns to protect it, tying a bandana around it. 

“You’ll have to do this properly when you’re not half dead,” she says. 

“Sylvie will do it, when Athos comes,” Porthos says. “It’s fine for now.”

“Will you rest?” 

“I need to talk to… ‘Charles’,” Porthos says, rumbling with laughter as if d’Artagnan’s first name is a joke only he understands. 

Constance goes to fetch him wine and to tell Roux that his jacket is not going to be returned. She explains that it is too soaked with blood and then re-explains that Porthos is a stubborn cuss and will quite probably fight Roux for it if Roux tries to claim it back. Roux laughs and Constance has to explain that, no, Porthos really will fight him, and Roux goes quiet before hurriedly gifting the jacket. Charles arrives back, Aramis slipping past him into Porthos’s room as he comes across to her. 

“He is alright?” d’Artagnan asks. 

“He will be,” she says, settling. They watch the courtyard together, Roux hurrying away, someone on watch, a few people playing cards. Mostly quiet, now. “They’re all in the taverns, telling stories about him.”

“He’ll like that,” d’Artagnan says. 

“Mm. We got him back,” Constance says. 

“Right! Always will. This is a better ending, than the last time we dragged a general out of the Spanish prisons.”

“No bloody Rochefort, may he rot in peace,” she says. “Come on; work to do, captain.”

“Even coming half dead he brings me work,” d’Artagnan grumbles, leading the way back inside.

#porthos #fic #mine

[lovemesomesurveys]

Sleep with or without clothes on? I always sleep with clothes on.

Prefer black or blue pens? Black.

Dress up on Halloween? Nah, not anymore.

Like to travel? Yes. I wish I could more of it. And now with the pandemic who knows when I’ll be doing any traveling. 

Like someone? I don’t have any romantic feelings for anyone currently.

Are you dating the person you like? There’s no such person as I said.

Do they know? Uh, wouldn’t the person I was dating know I was dating them?

Who sleeps with you every night? No one.

Think you’re attractive? No.

Want to get married? No. It’s not something I see ever happening for me.

Are you a good student? I was. I’m done with school now.

Are you currently happy? No.

Have you ever cheated on someone? Been cheated on? Nope and nope.

Birthplace? Somewhere in California. 

Christmas or Halloween? Christmas.

Colored or black-and-white photo? Colored, but black and white photos are beautiful as well. I just like color.

Do long distance relationships work? They certainly can. People do it.

Do you believe in astrology? Nope.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Not at all.

Do you consider yourself the life of the party? Haha, no, definitely not.

Do you drink? Nah, I haven’t drank in 8 years now and have no desire to. Just wasn’t my thing.

Do you think dreams eventually come true? Not always of course, but some do.

Favorite fictional character? I watch a lot of shows and movies and read a lot of books, so I have many favorites.

Go to the movies or rent? I enjoy going to the movies. Some movies I like to experience in theaters for the first time, like the big ones that I’m excited about. Some movies I think look kinda good, but I can wait until they’re available to rent or stream. I miss going to the movies, though. It’s been almost a year now since the last time.

Have you ever moved? Yeah.

Have you ever stolen anything? When I was a kid I thought the candy in the big candy bins at the store were free, ha. Whoops.

How’s the weather right now? It was super windy today. 

Last time you cut your hair? Almost a year ago.

Last person you talked to on the phone? My mom.

Last time you showered? A couple days ago.

Loud or soft music? I like to have the volume at a reasonable level. I don’t need it blasting.

McDonalds or Burger King? I like some stuff from both.

Night or day? Night.

Number of pillows? I only use two, but I have like 11 on my bed lol. I like throw pillows.

Piano or guitar? Piano.

Future job? I don’t know. :/

Current job? I don’t have one.

Current longing? I want Wingstop.

Current disappointment? My mom and brother checked a few places and couldn’t find any of my Starbucks Doubleshot energy drinks, so that sucked. 

Current annoyance? My head hurts.

Last thing you ate? Some shortbread cookies. I was dipping them in Almond Breeze that has a hint of honey in it and the combo was delicious. 

Last thing you bought? Starbucks.

Most recent thing you are looking forward to? New episodes of my some of my shows I watch this week.

What are you hearing right now? I’m watching a vlog.

Plans for the weekend? Nothing out of the ordinary.

What did you do today? Slept until 5, had coffee, checked my social medias, watched TV, had dinner and watched The Servant with my mom and bro, and now here I am doing surveys and watching YouTube videos.

Pick a lyric, any lyric or song? Nah.

Pick a movie quote? Nah.

Do you believe that Walt Disney is really frozen? No.

Did you ever hear that myth? Yeah, I know about it.

When you get older, do you want children? I’m 31 and know that I don’t want children.

If not do you want cats instead? I want dogs instead.

Do you believe it's easy to forgive and forget? Not the forgetting part.

Do you ever wish your parents would disappear? No!

When you feel like running away from it all, who do you call? I don’t call anyone I just cry and do my normal go-to activities to try and distract myself and get through the day.

Do you speak any foreign languages? Not fluently, but I can speak a little Spanish.

Are you in high school? Nooo, I graduated over a decade ago. I’m old.

Elementary? Omg.

College? Nope, I graduated back in 2015.

How many stairs can you climb before you wanna pass out? Well, I can’t take the stairs at all since I’m in a wheelchair.

Have you ever kissed someone with braces? No.

Do you want to? That’s a weird thing to want to do lol. Like, you can not mind or not care if you did, but to be like, “I really want to kiss someone with braces” is weird.

What color is your shower curtain? Blue.

Do you own a wallet? Yeah.

Do you have any money in it? Nope.

Do you think you smell good? I smell my deodorant. 

Do other people agree? Hopefully no one thinks I smell bad.

Do you think painting toenails is stupid? No? I don’t paint my toenails, but I don’t think it’s stupid to do so.

Do you enjoy school? I enjoyed aspects of it.

Why or why not? I’m someone who easily gets overwhelmed, stressed, and burnt out, but I enjoyed learning about the stuff I was interested in and not all the projects were bad.

Have you had sex in the past week? No. Or ever.

Is it awkward when you run into your ex? That never happens. We don’t live in the same city for one, but also I don’t go anywhere, ha.

Are you afraid of falling in love? Yes. I fell in love twice and was rejected and hurt, so not the best experience. But I think I’m more afraid the older I get, too.

Was your last kiss drunk or sober? Sober.

Do you remember who you liked in Year Seven? My best friend at the time, Kyle.

Are there any relationships you wish could have lasted longer? Ty and I never dated, but I feel like something could have happened between us. I feel like it was heading in that direction and if we had more time together... who knows. But things got messed up.

Will you get kissed tonight? Nope.

Have you had to have stitches at all in the last year? No.

How old will you be on your next birthday? 32.

Which is coming next: Christmas or your birthday? My birthday.

Have you ever stayed up all night and then gone to work in the morning? Not work, but school.

Would you pierce your nipples for $100? Nooo.

Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No. That’s not something I want, but that’s also something I worry about the older I get because it’s not uncommon for people my age to have a child, probably more, so finding someone who doesn’t may be hard.

Are you taller than 5’6”? No, I’m like 5′4.

Would you ever consider adoption? I don’t want children, I think I’ve made that pretty clear now.

How do you feel about your life right now? I feel good at all about it.

What’s the last song you listened to? I don’t remember to be honest. I haven’t been listening to music lately.

Have you ever been a clown for Halloween? No.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? Yeah, it’s past my butt.

What time did you go to bed last night? Not until after 9AM. :/

When did you get up this morning? It was evening time when I got up at 5PM.

When was the last time it rained? A few weeks ago.

Are your fingernails painted at the moment? Nope. I haven’t painted them in years.

Do you ever go hunting/fishing? No. I have no interest in either of those.

When was the last time you went camping? Never. Not something I have any interest in doing either.

Are you currently wearing anything orange? Nope.

Do you know anyone who is a nurse? Yeah.

Are you currently wearing any jewelry? Nope.

Was any of it given to you?

If so, by whom? What are you looking forward to tomorrow? There isn’t anything.

Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Not that I know of.

How many missed calls have you had today? One.

Have you told anyone you loved them today? No.

Are you wearing shoes at the moment? No.

Does it snow where you live? No, sadly.

Do you live within an hour of the ocean? More like 2 1/2 hours.

Do you ever do things even though you know you'll regret it later? Yes. And not do things that I know I’ll regret not doing.

What are you currently sitting/laying on? My chair.

Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? No.

How old is your oldest living grandparent? I think he’s 87.

Do you remember who you were dating in July 2006? No one.

Are you still dating that person? Yes, I’m dating no one. ha.

Who was the last non-relative of the same sex you had a conversation with? My doctor.

Last non-relative of the opposite sex? The nurse at my last appointment.

Do you tend to fall for people who don’t return your feelings? Yep. :/ 

Where do you go to school, if anywhere? I’m done with school. I wouldn’t give you the name anyway.

Do you have a job? No.

Where did you get the shirt you’re wearing? Hot Topic.

Are you left-handed? Nope.

Do you wear contacts? No, I wear glasses.

Who are your godparents? I don’t have any.

What do you think of winter? I love the winter.

Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? No.

Which parent do you look most like? My mom.

Ever been to Alabama? No.

Do you use eBay to buy or sell? I’ve only ever bought stuff on eBay. 

Ever failed a test? Yes.

Do you have any friends who are famous? No.

Is your computer a laptop? It is.

Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? I’ve gone 8 years and have no desire as of now, so. 

What did you dress up as for Halloween? It’s been a few years since I’ve dressed up for Halloween. I’m over that part of it.

Your most recent ex breaks down and tells you they love you, what do you do? Ha, that wouldn’t happen. 

You and your last ex: who should hate whom? Neither of us should hate the other. Nothing happened to warrant those kind of feelings. 

When was the last time you stayed at a hotel? Almost a year ago during my Disneyland vacation.

Would your parents be okay with you dating someone of another race? Yes.

Is your self esteem high or low? My self-esteem is shit. When was the last time you showered? A couple days ago.

Is music a daily part of your life? No. Especially not lately. 

Yellow nail polish: yes or no? Sure.

Have you ever received a hickey from the last person you kissed? No.

What are you doing right now? This and watching a YouTube video.

What time did you wake up this morning? I didn’t get up until 5PM.

When was the last time you cried really hard? About a week ago.

Think of your last kiss, was it good? Yeah.

Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? My doggo. (:

Have you ever held hands with the same sex? Yeah, my mom.

If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose? Fall or winter.

What’s bothering you right now? My head hurts.

What were you doing at eleven last night? I was coloring and watching Sister, Sister. Lol, sounds like I traveled back to my childhood.

What was the last thing you drank? Water.

Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone? No. All the clothes I wear are mine.

Have you ever kissed the last person you text messaged? No.

What side of a heart do you draw first? The left, I think.

Is there someone you will never forget? There’s a lot of people I’ll never forget.

Is there someone you don’t ever want to be out of your life? My loved ones, of course.

This time last year, were you single? Yep. I’ve been single for 8 years.

Do you listen to music when you’re down? I don’t turn to music anymore for that, I tend to turn to ASMR.

What is your mom saved as in your phone? “Mama Bear” with a bear and purple heart emojis. 

When’s your birthday? July 28th.

Can a relationship last without honesty? I don’t know what kind of relationship that would be. 

Do you curse in front of your parents? No. I’m a grown adult and still feel weird about it lol. And it’s not like my parents don’t cuss. My mom loves her f-bombs, ha. I’m just weird.

Are you short? Yes.

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up? No.

Which shoe do you put on first? I think my left. 

Do you wish things were better? That sure would be nice.

What are your plans for Friday? New episodes of a couple shows I watch come out, so I’ll have those to watch. Otherwise, just the same ol’, same ol.’

Saturday? Nothing out of the ordinary.

Anything going on this week? No.

Do you find it hard to trust others? For me, it’s opening up to people that is hard for me.

Are you a patient person? No.

Do you laugh a lot? I haven’t had a good, real laugh in so long. I chuckle and do the blow air out of nose laugh, ha.

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? Yeah.

What color shirt are you wearing? Black.

What color are your pants/shorts? I’m wearing blue leggings.

Plan on getting married? No.

Do you believe that love lasts forever? Not always, but it definitely can.

Do you believe everyone needs a second chance? Not everyone, but generally. I give out many chances.

Do you want your tongue pierced? No.

Do you always answer your phone? When it’s my parents or brother.

What woke you up this morning? I haven’t gone to bed, yet, but most likely it’ll be my alarm.

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? It’s only 12:33AM, but I hope to be asleep at 8.

Do you say "sexy" a lot? I like never say that.

Ever made out in a pool? No.

Do you like to have long hair or short hair? Long. I just wish I had the energy and motivation to style it and take better care of it. My hair is so long and all I do is throw it up in a bun all the time.

Where do you keep your money? In my bank.

What was the weather like today? It’s currently 57f.

Do you want to cut your hair? Just a trim.

Do you like sushi? Blech, no.

Are you over the age of 25? Yes. I’m 31. I typed 32 at first, I’m already aging myself up ugh. I have a few months until then.

Do you have a nickname? Just Steph and Sis.

Do you change your phone background a lot? Not a lot, but every few months I’d say. I really get into during the holidays.

Would you get back with your last ex if you could? No.

Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with? Nope. It’s been like 10 years since we’ve talked or seen each other.

How long does it take you to get ready to go out? Ha, my outings only include going to the doctor now, but it doesn’t take me long at all. I put in minimal effort.

Have you ever been strip searched? No.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #long survey

[toast-connoisseur]

ALL of the Ask Me Stuff questions

* 1: Full name: For safety purposes I’ll shorten it: Maria Barbara Gonzalez (yes, that’s the shortened version. I’m Mexican lol)

* 2: Age: 25

* 3: 3 Fears: Being buried alive, anything bad happening to a loved one, SPIDERS

* 4: 3 things I love: My family, my friends, movies

* 5: 4 turn ons: soft touches, kissing, making me food, a confident personality

* 6: 4 turn offs: Overly cocky people, racists, chewing with your mouth open

* 7: My best friend: I’m lucky to have several and I love them all with the individual pieces of my heart they each own

* 8: Sexual orientation: Queer/Gay

* 9: My best first date: I don’t think I’ve ever really gone on one tbh lol

* 10: How tall am I: 5’1 (barely make it to the 1)

* 11: What do I miss: Bars/clubs and Disneyland. Hugging people. Not losing so many people on a daily basis...

* 12: What time was I born: 3:38AM

* 13: Favourite color: Blood red (NOT maroon)

* 14: Do I have a crush: I always crush on random girls

* 15: Favourite quote: “Seduce my mind and you can have my body. Find my soul and I’m yours forever.”

* 16: Favourite place: It was once Disneyland now, I don’t really have a place lol

* 17: Favourite food: All of it. Of course Mexican food takes the top of the list though

* 18: Do I use sarcasm: Noooo, you think?!

* 19: What am I listening to right now: I’m watching Buffy

* 20: First thing I notice in new person: What vibes you’re giving off

* 21: Shoe size: 7 for the most part but sometimes I can fit into size 4 kid shoes

* 22: Eye color: Dark brown

* 23: Hair color: naturally: dark brown, right now: black

* 24: Favourite style of clothing: comfortable but more on the lines of retro/rockabilly

* 25: Ever done a prank call? Yes!

* 27: Meaning behind my URL: I love toast

* 28: Favourite movie: I have so many but one is Saved!

* 29: Favourite song: Lots, but Guilty Pleasure by Cobra Starship

* 30: Favourite band: Avenged Sevenfold

* 31: How I feel right now: Mellow

* 32: Someone I love: my nephew

* 33: My current relationship status: single

* 34: My relationship with my parents: could be better, but it’s there

* 35: Favourite holiday: Halloween

* 36: Tattoos and piercing i have: I have two piercings on each ear, my bellybutton pierced, and 6 tattoos (R foot, R ankle, L thigh, L wrist, L bicep, R bicep)

* 37: Tattoos and piercing i want: I want most of my body covered in tattoos so I have a long way to go. As for piercings, I want at least two more per ear.

* 38: The reason I joined Tumblr: my friends said it would be a good time

* 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I wouldn’t say hate, but we’re not friends anymore

* 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Yes!

* 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? No

* 42: When did I last hold hands? It’s been too long :(

* 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? I work from home now so 0 minutes

* 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Yes

* 45: Where am I right now? In my bed

* 46: If I were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? My best friends

* 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable usually. I have very sensitive hearing.

* 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? They actually live with me, but it’s temporary.

* 49: Am I excited for anything? My upcoming move

* 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Yes, two actually

* 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? -I work Monday-Friday

* 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? -OOF

* 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? Hot

* 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? -Everyone has different trust levels tbh. My best friends hold top tier.

* 55: What is something I disliked about today? I had to work

* 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Beyoncé!

* 57: What do I think about most? The future I want

* 58: What’s my strangest talent? I honestly don’t think I have one? I guess being able to mimic certain voices/accents sometimes but I wouldn’t say I’m pro

* 59: Do I have any strange phobias? I don’t think they’re strange, I just hate feet

* 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind

* 61: What was the last lie I told? “I’ll work on that”

* 62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? It depends who I’m talking to, but phone tbh

* 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Both are very real

* 64: Do I believe in magic? Yes

* 65: Do I believe in luck? To an extent

* 66: What’s the weather like right now? Nice and cold

* 67: What was the last book I’ve read? I strictly read fanfiction lately

* 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Don’t love it, don’t hate it

* 69: Do I have any nicknames? Barbie, Barbs, whore, homo... you know, cute stuff

* 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I split my eyebrow open and had to get stitches

* 71: Do I spend money or save it? Por que no los dos?!

* 72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? No, but my best friend can and it’s so cool!

* 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? My sweats are pink

* 74: Favourite animal? I love animals but wolves are pretty top tier

* 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping

* 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Sexy. Mr. Sexy.

* 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? -I Wanna Get Better by the Bleachers

* 78: How can you win my heart? Be nice to me and have good conversations to me and occasionally buy me chocolate

* 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? The entire lyrics to Act Up by City Girls

* 80: What is my favorite word? Motherfucker

* 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: I honestly bounce to and from so many. There’s no way I can only pick 5. All the ones I reblog from are so great!

* 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? STOP GOING TO PARTIES

* 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not that I’m aware of

* 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? I can turn invisible

* 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? None really tbh

* 86: What is my current desktop picture? I made it into a winter wonderland for the holidays

* 87: Had sex? “It’s been 84 years...”

* 88: Bought condoms? I’m gay

* 89: Gotten pregnant? See above

* 90: Failed a class? I think in middle school maybe?

* 91: Kissed a boy? Yes

* 92: Kissed a girl? Yes

* 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Sadly, no

* 94: Had a job? Sadly (but also thankfully since I need money)

* 95: Left the house without my wallet? No

* 96: Bullied someone on the internet? No

* 97: Had sex in public? Yes

* 98: Played on a sports team? Yes

* 99: Smoked weed? Yes

* 100: Did drugs? Yes

* 101: Smoked cigarettes? Yes

* 102: Drank alcohol? Yes

* 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? No

* 104: Been overweight? No

* 105: Been underweight? Yes

* 106: Been to a wedding? Yes

* 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Yes

* 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yes

* 109: Been outside my home country? Yes

* 110: Gotten my heart broken? Sorta but I bounced back pretty quick so idk if that counts

* 111: Been to a professional sports game? Long ago

* 112: Broken a bone? No

* 113: Cut myself? I’m very accident prone

* 114: Been to prom? Yes

* 115: Been in airplane? Yes

* 116: Fly by helicopter? No

* 117: What concerts have I been to? So so so many. I miss them.

* 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? I’m gaaaaaaaay

* 119: Learned another language? I’ve been bilingual since I was a child

* 120: Wore make up? Yes

* 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? No

* 122: Had oral sex? Yes

* 123: Dyed my hair? Yes

* 124: Voted in a presidential election? Yes

* 125: Rode in an ambulance? I worked for an ambulance company so just for fun

* 126: Had a surgery? Besides oral?

* 127: Met someone famous? I live in LA, so yes lol

* 128: Stalked someone on a social network? No

* 129: Peed outside? Yes

* 130: Been fishing? No, I’d like to!

* 131: Helped with charity? Yes

* 132: Been rejected by a crush? Fifth grade was a tough year for my love life...

* 133: Broken a mirror? No

* 134: What do I want for birthday? To be able to see all my friends in a safe environment

* 135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? I’d like as many as I can comfortably afford. I’d have to discuss with the (future) wife about names

* 136: Was I named after anyone? The Virgin Mary (la Virgen Maria) and some Spanish actress named Barbara something...

* 137: Do I like my handwriting? No

* 138: What was my favourite toy as a child? I loved dolls

* 139: Favourite Tv Show? Bewitched

* 140: Where do I want to live when older? California forever unless properly convinced otherwise

* 141: Play any musical instrument? Used to play trumpet and alto sax. Can’t play anymore lol

* 142: One of my scars, how did I get it? See Q70

* 143: Favourite pizza toping? Pepperoni. I love all sorts of toppings but that’s my fav

* 144: Am I afraid of the dark? No

* 145: Am I afraid of heights? Yes

* 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yes

* 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Daily

* 148: What I’m really bad at: Focusing. In my defense, I have ADHD

* 149: What my greatest achievments are: graduating college, getting promoted at work, buying my own car, purchasing a home

* 150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: I once got told “good luck on the short bus” by a guy that was upset I make more money than he does

* 151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: take care of all my bills, invest, and then try to help as many of my loved ones as I could with theirs

* 152: What do I like about myself: my resilience

* 153: My closest Tumblr friend: @itssofragile

* 154: Something I fantasise about: My future

* 155: Any question you’d like? Nah, I think we’re good!

[diepower]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Kaiman     AGE: 27       CONTACT: IM, ask, discord

CHARACTER(S): Meninas McAllon, Orihime Inoue, Retsu Unohana, Mashiro Kuna, Tier Harribel, Charlotte Chuuhlhourne

CURRENT FANDOM(S): That I write in? It’s gonna be Bleach, OVW (super selectively im just here for one person), ASOIAF (barely- literally when the mood strikes and that one is private also). I have a lot of current interests in general though.

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR: While I don’t have anything fully established... I’ve been working with an ASOIAF au (for Harribel & Unohana specifically, though I’m considering it with other characters too), A Dorohedoro AU (for Unohana and Orihime), as well as a Persona AU (more specifically 2&3) for Orihime. I’ve also got a number of post-canon AUs or continuities for all my characters as well!

MY LANGUAGE(S): English, super basic Spanish, barest ASL, fairly good French

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / SCIENCE FICTION / HORROR / WESTERN / ROMANCE / THRILLER / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / EROTIC / CRIME / MYTHOLOGY / CLASSIC / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / ANCIENT / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / SPORT / MUSIC / SCIENCE / FIGHTS / ANGST / SMUT / DRAMA

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: ONE-LINER / 1 PARA / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA (2para is a sweet spot but it really doesn’t matter to me)

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?:   YES / NO    ONLY BY MUTUALS?:  YES / NO

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / CASUAL NOTHING TOO DEEP / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK.

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?:   YES / NO.

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. (i let them build up too often but some of yall are too quick to reply jkglfjdgsd)

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / MONTHS / YEARS / DEPENDS ON MOOD AND INSPIRATION, AND IF I’M BUSY

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / A RELATIVE OF MY CHARACTER (AN OC) / DUPLICATES / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / SELF-INSERTS / PEOPLE WITH NO AU VERSE FOR MY FANDOM / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS (italicized are okay, but under really specific circumstances)

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS  

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING:  I’m pretty anal about plotting in that I often refuse to RP unless it’s been plotted or I liked a starter call. And in the case of the latter, I’ll still hop into DMs to plot further depending on where the thread takes us. That said, the best way to reach me is through IMs or Discord (available on request). The only time I turn down plots is if I feel like it would put my character in an OOC situation, and I especially dislike my character being one-sidedly used as a tool to further another character’s development without anything being reciprocated (this happens often especially wrt my healer characters)

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: Communication is really important to me, especially with regards to comfort regarding certain plot elements, and approaching other in-character situations that might have multiple different solutions. I think it’s important that both characters involved get the same amount of development out of writing a thread, and I really hate the idea of being imbalanced as far as that goes (more on that below). That said, I’m always perfectly down to spitball plot ideas and tweak/refine other concepts because I really do enjoy plotting, it’s just super important to me that things are communicated clearly. I get extremely distressed and frustrated IRL if people just kinda throw stuff at me, and it often kills my muse.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?: I make an active effort to come up with plots that are engaging and beneficial fairly equally to both parties. I mentioned this above, but especially in the case of writing my healer characters, I have a huge disdain for characters being used as tools to further development while getting nothing substantial in return. That said, I try to be very aware of this in terms of a potential writing partner being on the receiving end. IMO it feels like shit, but I definitely don’t want to make someone else feel that way either. That said, so long as stuff is plotted out clearly and me and the writer are both okay with it, then it’s fine. COMMUNICATION IS KEY, BASICALLY.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?:  I kinda just like to throw spaghetti at the wall and whatever sticks, I’m down to fly with. I have a lot of ideas, but again, I like to give my partners the option of doing whatever they’re comfortable with, and h aving equal contribution opportunities.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

- AND WHY?: Everyone has their own circumstances, I really don’t mind. If it’s one I’ve been especially looking forward to, I might be bummed, but it’s no skin off my nose really.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: I don’t typically drop threads or abandon them during their writing. The only thing that would make me do so is offensive content, or huge plot elements being introduced that makes my character ooc and wasn’t previously discussed during plotting.

WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

-AND WHY?: I already feel like I need to take a lot of extra steps to understand others and be understood, and that isn’t something often reciprocated. In my experience, just honest communication is the quickest solution to issues that crop up during writing. For those who HAVE actually had me reach out to them in this way, I really do try to be polite and respectful while being straightforward so the situation can be resolved without any hurt feelings.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: As long as it’s constructive, and not merely negativity, I welcome it. After all, I can’t fix a huge flaw in my writing without having an alternative solution. I’m open to accepting feedback and critique, especially wrt Meninas since my portrayal is quite a large departure from popular fanon perception (from those who choose to pay attention to her, lol), but I also thrive on suggested remedies and solutions to issues in my writing.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: I like to tell stories, and I like to tell narratives that take root in emotional expression and how those feelings can act as a vehicle to the storytelling. I want to move people through feeling, because it can be a powerful experience. I use a lot of inspiration from themes in my other favorite series, as well as inspiration from my own personal experiences as well. I tend to pick characters who have one or two traits in common with myself, whether those be negative or positive. I’m very excited to share all the things I have planned for Meninas, as she’s certainly my most ambitious project to date.

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS:  For Meninas specifically, I want to interact with Squad 11 and Squad 9 during the CFYOW verse I have planned. Hisagi specifically would be interesting because of the clash of ideals, in addition to being the only other living person to be able to relate to the horror of being under Pepe’s thrall. I’d also like to steal Ikkaku’s bankai, and have more fight scenes. Lastly, Meninas doesn’t do much of anything in CFYOW, so more interactions with Mayuri and Squad 12 would be cool.

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE: I don’t mind briefly referencing darker themes in my writing, especially wrt my own personal experiences, but I want to be very clear that I refuse to write at length or romanticize these themes. I refuse to write anything involving rape, homophobia, transphobia, racism, pedophilia, etc, with this in mind.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: Unless previously discussed, I struggle with starters that have a character pushing mine away. If the situation is super OOC for my character to be in, or frankly too mundane. In Meninas’ case, most domestic stuff is a snoozefest for me (but I LOVE this for other characters).

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?:  *saoirse ronan voice* Women. UHHH but no, for real... I like fleshing out female characters quite a bit. Personality types are varied, but I like characters who have some level of nuance to their emotional expression whether it’s an internal or external struggle. I like powerful women too, and the exploration of “strength” as a theme (esp at the intersection of the theme of “femininity” and its expressions) whether this is external strength or internal fortitude. I think I play a wide variety of characters who have vastly different thoughts, beliefs, and forms of expression, but I try to find something in common with who I portray to act as a touch stone. I also like characters who have themes of “justice” and nuanced morality.

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?: 99% of male characters. And I also hate tsunderes gjklsdjfd

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I really like my writing style especially wrt using emotion to set a cinematic scene and overall tone. I think I’m really strong with conveying emotion, especially with things that are often unspoken. I try to communicate with partners clearly and establish rapports. I love writing headcanons and have a TON of plot ideas as well.

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: Oh I’m the slowest replier on the planet and I’m apparently intimidating lol

DO YOU RP SMUT?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS (i prefer to go into detail about sensations, rather than the actual acts as it comes off stifled and weirdly technical)

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: Honestly I just do what Meninas tells me.

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?: Kink stuff is weird territory for me, absolutely gotta be discussed in private and comfort levels clearly established.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?: YES / NO. Relationships in general rule, and while I do have a romantic ship that plays a large part in Meninas’ plot, the romance comes secondary to the plot itself. I really enjoy writing and developing romances, but more than that I like establishing connections. I love the relationships I’ve got planned with Giselle, Candice, Liltotto, and Bambietta because there are going to be a LOT of drastically different things that inform my portrayal of Meninas coming from these relationships (both positive and negative, but ultimately places of growth).

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. Like I said, plot comes first. And especially in the case of Meninas, she has a lot of self exploration and reflection to do before she can engage in a healthy relationship or address any feelings of romance. I do place a large focus on the formation of her relationships and how they shape the way she relates to other people and grows as a person, but I am extremely sensitive to making sure I’m not writing a female character who’s entire development is dependent on a romance with a male character- perish the thought lol.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU:  MULTI-SHIP / SINGLE-SHIP / DUAL-SHIP  —  MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: For Meninas, it’s a matter of her acknowledging, understanding, and accepting that she can be worth more than how useful she is to others. She had a series of traumatizing and character defining experiences regarding love, romance, and personal worth that strongly shaped the way she perceives her relationships to others and her emotional expression. Trust is another huge factor for me, Meninas needs to be around someone she believes in. Strength is another aspect. She likes someone who challenges her, keeps her on her toes, and is sturdy like physically. Because she’ll break you. THAT SAID- Meninas tends to be open wrt her body, but closed off when it comes to her heart. Hate to see it, love to write it.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. As long as the premise makes sense. I like relationships to have some matter of significance and planning, especially because of how I’ve written the way Meninas picks and chooses who to get close to in Silbern depending on what suits her interests. Genuine friendship is a weird thing for Meninas, as most of her relationships are formed out of convenience. If you aren’t useful to Meninas’ schemeing, then she has no interest in dealing with you beyond platitudes and keeping up appearances and will interact with you as such.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: WE LOVE DUPLICITOUS WOMEN! No, but at the core of my Meninas characterization, the sentiment is “Everything is not as it appears” even down to the relationships she has with others. Meninas’ entire personality is constructed as a survival tactic from an early age (in addition to being a way to make herself more useful as a tool to others, and thus seen as having more worth in general), and as a result, she hasn’t really allowed herself to live life as a fully realized person. Her plots generally offer silent rebellion, playing a role in regards to her self presentation, chaotic mean girl level bullshit, and cool fights/training. Also you get to interact with a big buff lady. That said about her personality, it depends on the verse. CFYOW Meninas will be more unhinged, while post-CFYOW Meninas will be more honest and rowdy.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?:  Muses who are standoffish or disengage right at the start. Meninas doesn’t interact with people without a certain purpose, so if they aren’t interested, she’s not going to be either.

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?:  Revenge, strength, redefining what “power” means in terms of how the world works. She wants to see the Shinigami dead for their role in her parents deaths, and feels the same about Yhwach.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?:  Ability, potential threat, perceived strength, where loyalty lies; how potentially useful you can be to her.

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?:  Strength both in a physical sense, but also in belief and convictions. Honesty, and understanding the flaws of the world they live in.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?:  Fighting, beauty, freedom, abolishing Quincy classism based on blood purity, music, fashion, blacksmithing.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?: Blind loyalty to Yhwach, talking about the horrors of war as if it doesn’t concern them, Bambietta, Quincy supremacy,

- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?:  Her parents were killed in the first Quincy war and she was left abandoned and grew up literally fighting for her life and living on the streets. She often likens fighting pits to the bowels of Hell (and I often play with the ironic theme of crawling out of hell to appear as an angel or something divine). She is consumed by a quest for revenge, and strongly believes her ends will justify the means taken to fulfill her ideal. As a direct result of these experiences, her emotional health and maturity is severely affected, and she doesn’t view herself as a person worthy or capable of feeling as much as a tool who, in the right hands, can be utilized to bring about the revenge she craves.

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?:  (1) Men who feel non-consensually entitled to her body. That said, she’s done a fairly excellent job at maintaining control and an unassuming threatening nature despite the widely known understanding of her Schrift ability and how it augments. (2) Someone touching her Quincy cross, as it’s her most precious and private item. (3) Anyone who dares get in the way of her plans that can’t be manipulated in some other useful aspect.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?:  Meninas hates Yhwach, and the Shinigami most predominately, but she also harbors disgust for Hollows as an instinct. That said, her young life was spent detached from Quincy culture (in addition to being a Gemischt and the inherent isolation that comes with that status), so despite her early induction into the Wandenreich ranks, Meninas does not harbor the same Quincy nationalism and loyalty that others of her race do. They’re a means to an end, and just happen to help her become stronger.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: She comes off as easy to approach, but if you want genuine Meninas I’m sorry the number you’re trying to reach has been disconnected. Goodbye!

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: Everything I’ve written about her is based in headcanon! I’ve got both a lengthy biography as well as headcanons gathered in the sidebar links on my blog.

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

TAGGED BY: @bazzardburner​ TAGGING: i think this has made its rounds so steal it!

#MEME / ANSWERED #HANDS OF THE DIVINE ; A SELF MADE CREATION / HEADCANON #ok take 2 dont delete all my bolded shit pls

[pro-bee]

Ziva David Week Day 7: Dealer’s Choice, or, Pick Your Own Adventure

(ok I know that’s not the real title but I’m going with it)

So I’m choosing this day to do this: my personal headcanons about Ziva’a past (even though for all I know the show has already contradicted them but do I care? no):

One set of her grandparents were (Sephardic) Spanish-Moroccan. (I initially used to pretend it was her mother’s parents since we know nothing about her mom but then I remember that didn’t Tony say they were buried in Yemeni or something?) That’s why Ziva speaks Spanish so effortlessly!

(Yes I know it’s because Cote’s native language is Spanish and they wrote it in but that doesn’t mean we can’t make up a backstory for it!)

(This is something that’s always been fascinating to me because my friend’s dad is Spanish-Moroccan Jewish and he could effortlessly break into one of the like 5 languages he spoke fluently when we were kids. Plus he helped with our Spanish homework lol.)

We know Ziva was a dancer, at least until the age of about 13 whenever she wrote that “I Will” list from PPF. She only ever talked about it once on the show, that time she told the suspect she always searched for her dad in the crowd when she was on stage. They never said how far along she went, but given how driven and athletic she is, I pretend that Ziva was probably serious enough about it that part of her wanted to pursue it, but she also knew by the age of about 16 that she wasn’t going to have a choice in the matter and she was going to be following in her father’s footsteps so she resigned herself to it and made the best of it.

We know what eventually became of Ari, obviously, but given that he was in her family photos (and there was that one in PPF if just her and Ari smiling), and he was in the flashbacks in “Shiva”  at the dinner table (I think?), it seems like he really was a huge part of their life, he wasn’t just the “bastard son” who was spoken of in hushed tones. He was her brother. So in my head, given that he was what, at least ten or so years older than her? (I know someone out there knows exactly but I don’t care enough to look it up sorry), I like to think that Ari was kind of Ziva’s “protector” as she grew up in Eli’s home. What I mean is that in my head, when her mom and dad started fighting more seriously and openly, when their marriage was imploding, Ari would be the one to take Ziva under his wing when he was home visiting. He’d pick her up and take her for a car ride and they would just drive and drive for hours around the city with nowhere to go, and sometimes they could go the whole time without speaking, but those rides would give her respite from the chaos at home. 

Because Tali was younger and didn’t understand as much about what was going on, and was still kind of malleable enough that she was going to escape relatively unscathed from it all. But Ziva was just old enough to get what was happening, to get how her parents could hurt each other and that her father was not as good a man as she thought he was growing up. And she had no one she could share this with, because again, Tali was too young, and she dared not speak it to friends, because the David family didn’t talk about their problems to outsiders. (Except Eli to Vance but that was more like a humblebrag like “lol i screw around so much on my wife she finally left me, chicks am I right?”). Ari, though, she knew he got it. (If only she knew exactly how much Ari knew about their father.)

And that is why Ari’s betrayal fucked her up even more. Because she lost her brother, but she also lost her confidant.

So in their sibling dynamic, Ari was kind of the cool, worldly older brother who would float in and out of her life, while Ziva was the people-pleasing middle daughter, the one who wanted to live up to her father’s expectations and didn’t understand her mother’s overprotectiveness over them (like when she moved away with her and Tali). Tali was a bit of a wild-child extroverted baby of the family, who everyone kind of doted on, because she was so outgoing and friendly and exuberant and easygoing. 

It’s like the whole family kind of silently agreed that they had to protect Tali at all costs, to keep her lightness in tact as opposed to the darkness that lived in the rest of them. It’s why Tali was allowed to pursue music and how she was able to make even Eli cry when she sang Puccini, and would have let her study opera if she’d wanted. Ari and Ziva did their duty so that Tali could pursue her dreams for the rest of them.

I used to think Ziva’s mom was also kind of the lightness in their home in contrast to Eli’s darkness, but recently the more I think of it, the more I could see that she could very likely have been tormented by depression herself, exacerbated by living with Eli and then still under his thumb even after they broke up. Ziva has such a sadness about her, which yes is probably influenced by losing everyone she loves so early in her life, but I could also see it as classic child-of-mentally-ill parent energy, always trying to be “best” and cause the least amount of trouble, because you don’t want to do anything to rock the boat and upset your parent. You learn to be self-sufficient very early on because you know your parent isn’t physically or emotionally available to you whenever you need them, so you have to rely on yourself. And it makes it that much harder to let people in as an adult, because you’ve spent a lifetime protecting yourself.

Because Eli is such a terrible person, it’s easy to think that he trained Ziva like a soldier from birth, but I think he was a lot more insidious than that. I think he was affectionate when present but by and large was an absentee parent due to his work commitments (so he could come home and play hero when he was home, which probably drove his wife even crazier because she bore the brunt of everything), and it wasn’t until Ziva was old enough to be of more use to him (like, say, early teens) that he started planting that seed and “shaping” her to whatever he wanted her for.  

BTW I don’t think Ziva’s mom hated Ari, or even resented him, because I don’t think he would have that warm a relationship with his sisters if she had, but I also like to think that and some point she looked at Ari as a grown man and realized that He Knew about Eli, just like she did. They never spoke about it, though. 

(I think she probably felt sorry for him a little because she probably had more than a little idea of what Eli put Ari’s mother through, and how he was manipulating Ari.)

Wow I had more David Family Headcanons than I thought.

Um what else let’s see

OK, once she is finally reunited with Tony and Tali, Ziva is going to be the obnoxious parent who takes pictures of everything all the time. Because she missed so much of her family’s life that she isn’t going to miss another second.

Because I need some happy headcanons.

I had more but I forgot and these are long enough. Will reblog at a later date if I remember.

Thanks for such an inspiring Ziva Week guys! It’s been so much fun seeing all of your posts on my dashboard!

(Sorry this was so late)

#zivadavidweek2019 #ziva david #my headcanon #feel free to share your own headcanons guys!

[prvntcessa]

listen up 10s a 4 is speaking! shdlaskhd what’s up sluts i’m cherry, i’m 21, use she/her pronouns and live in PST! this is mischa, princess of the russian mafia. she wears black lipstick, is massive scammer, laughs at videos of people falling down the stairs. here is a shorter sparknotes version of her bio and some fun and fresh headcannons

please enjoy this gif of mischa cosplaying indie xoxo

SPARKNOTES BIO! 

skeleton: the career criminal

name: mischa dostoyevsky ( formally xia han)

age: 25

gender: female

pronouns: she/her

fc: natasha liu bordizzo

born as xia to a dirt poor family of literal SCAM artists. we luv a scamily babey! her parents basically sold fraudulent anti-aging serum to dumb, white new york tourists everyday ( with the added bonus of her older brother dressed up like an OLD ASS MAN doing cartwheels n backflips like woooow this stuff really works! ) her job was basically sneaking through the crowd of people while they were distracted and pick-pocketing their money, valuables, shiny shit etc.  

that white savior guilt money was paying the bills until one of the karens they conned got hives from the allergic reaction to the red food dye they used in the fake serum and her brothers literal Old Man disguise flew off like 90s rapper fly away pants when it was windy as fuck one day so basically The Authorities Have Been Called Luv, the police showed up and xia didn’t know what to do bc she was a kid so she just BOLTED AND RAN ... does not know what happened to her family to this day

grew up on the street, continued the family business of being a fcking scammer and basically bought tampons by telling power walking, baby backpacking ladies that she was gonna have to feed little timmy cockroaches if they didn’t pay off, slept with crooked stock brokers, seduced old guys, cleaned out their apartments, stole all their money, jewels, watches, credit cards, priceless antiques -- THE WORLD WAS HER SUGAR DADDI BB

all of this changed on day when she making her nightly run by the alibi, a bar she called Dumb Rich Guy Bar and saw a weird old guy come out looooaded with what looked expensive shit,  but she really wanted his pocketwatch which from her experience was mad expensive. so she did her lil routine and THOUGHT she stole the watch but LOL SPIDERMAN MEME, he stole the watch back and the ring she was wearing AND HIS BODY GUARD HAD A GUN PLACED ON HER. MMM WHATCHA SAY

so turns out the weird old guy she tried to steal from was VLADIMIR DOSTOYEVSKY!!!! THE HEAD OF THE RUSSIAN FUCKING MAFIA. yiiiiikes! lmao she was like cool im gonna die but he was like hold up, u chose the pocket watch, the only real and valuable thing i was wearing ... i like u ur smart u have fire, u remind me of my dead wife  YOU WILL BE MY SUCCESSOR ur name is now mischa for my unborn son and i will teach u the ropes

so there is no more xia, only mischa, basically adopted by vladimir who she calls dad/nana and who calls her rabbit as a nickname (they play monopoly every night and VLAD CHEATS EVERY TIME BRO). she is the only girl in the bratva aka The Brotherhood which is what the russian mafia is called. shes kind of their wendy. shes worshipped outwardly but theres probably a lot of people that hate her ... which leads me to ........PAPA DYING! BIG RIP OG PAPA! he was poisoned at dinner and people say it was the italians but mischa is sure it was an inside job

bc of vlad dying *pour one out for vladdy daddy* mischa is head of the bratva aka russian mafia they call her PAPA bc thats how people refer to the mob boss SO SDHLLKDSH

ALSO PLOT TWIST! originally the plate that killed her dad was the plate she was given but he switched with her bc his piece of chicken was bigger and he wanted her to have it :((((( SO THE POISON PLATE WAS HER PLATE SO SOMEONE WAS TRYNA KILL HER DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN

ok here are HCS they are from the bottom of my app xx

nicknames include who’s your papa, big papa and daddy purely because it’s iconic. but also she is probably that gifset where rihanna is talking abt how shes a bad bitch w top energy but is a massive bottom ahdlaks

mischa i think has to look a certain way of looking when dealing w the mob ( sort of girl boss, designer clothes, femme fatale ) but i think she is relatively unlady-like and prefers ratty jeans, plaid skirts, flannels, black combat boots, messy ponytails and the like when she’s relaxing. reminds her of life before.

practices makeup on dmitri and boris (her body guards) who complain a lot but also love her xoxo 

owns a very big fluffy, luxurious cat named perogi, he’s her son, a gift from dear old dad. 

has a pretty severe drinking problem ( vodka on the rocks is the poison ) after her father died and sleeps with a gun ( although i think she's better with a knife )

thus can drink you under the table also swears like an old sailor man ( is working on it, the whole mob sighs when she calls japanese businessmen idiot douche canoe fuckbags to their faces during monthly debt collections )

mischa can speak 5 languages in order to speak to people all over the world: madarin ( from her childhood ), english, russian ( mob ), spanish and french. 

pansexual queen and i want to say scorpio 

she’s grateful obviously to папа doing more off the grid, low quality criminal stuff without supervision because she is a truant, tramp, scam artist cat burglar klepto at heart <3

cinnamon roll meme: looks like she could kill you and would probably kill you

so i want to say she probably met the star of the show doing something where she snuck out at night with her bodyguards not knowing, wore her civilian clothes, blended in kept her head down because she missed freedom and accidentally met them out there like that under a pseudonym to hide her mafia life/continued to sneak out to see them like that before being exposed. very double life stuff angsty secret mafia princess stuff. we love hannah mon-mafia.

scared her parents will resurface/past will resurface ( supposedly папа bribed the police but . . . karma is a bitch )

has A LOT of suitors meant to strengthen The Empire and bridge conflicts between mobs but cares little, them: 💕, her: hocks a loogie and wipes on pants … she SUCSKSSKSS

has burped at important business dinners before and simultaneously has brought massive mafiosos to their knees. literally will have your dick cut off if you say something misogynistic, racist or something about her father :) she has a collection. ( its a big collection, but still quite little if you know what i mean )

rumored to have killed a man with the sharp end of her louboutin.

has a slight accent just from being surrounded by it constantly and word switches

smells like cinnamon and scraped knees

#heistintro #i hate her #pretends like she doesnt like being called princess also...luvs it #ur scary scorpio girlfriend

[aelaer]

☕ Wakanda, controversy? Paradise? Unrealistic? Need-to-visit? What about their politics, what do you think about it? The way the ruler is chosen, or their view on outsiders? Or really just a comment on the Black Panther movie, if you so wish. xD

There's an ask I've been meaning to get to for a while but I can't be bothered to get my computer right now and I can't save drafts of asks on the phone. So here's one on the fly.

Anyway the actual ask. Note that I know absolutely nothing about Wakanda in the comics; this is all based on what we've seen in the MCU and what I know from history and current events.

Controversial: Not to me. They had the right to hide from the rest of the world. I don't think any one country "owes" other countries in the facet of technological development. Are individuals/organizations nice enough to share their medical and technical developments? Yeah, all the time. But no individual or country owes it to the world. I'm pretty big on countries retaining their own autonomy.

(Though ideally every government wouldn't be severely oppressing or mistreating their people. That'd be a nice world, wouldn't it? But we can't just... blow up every oppressive government. The States tried during the Cold War- though replace oppressive with communist- and that turned into a complicated, messy clusterfuck with unexpected consequences that the world's still feeling today 50-70 years later. Yeah it sucks that people are suffering, but when the West tries to police the world it all goes to shit. I don't have a good answer to this problem, I'm afraid.)

Paradise: I doubt it. Every country has problems, whatever they are. Every country has people who are rich, poor, healthy, sick. They're certainly one of the best, if not the best, well off in the MCU's Africa at least. Because they hid their technology so much their GDP must have been in the toilet before they started their outreach programs and (potentially) selling vibranium for silly high prices. I'd be interested in seeing what their tourism department post-reveal looks like; it's possible it's as strict as North Korea, which has its own downfalls.

I think I'd be most interested in Wakanda helping out stable and relatively corruption-free African countries with steady democracies in developing a solid infrastructure to grow from. It's hard to develop as a society when you don't have plumbing and electrical grids. Wakanda could help with that, and teach the much-needed infrastructure jobs needed to sustain such a life. From there, it's significantly easier to actually work on other quality of life issues, such as education and health. (When it comes to African charities, I'm always looking for those that teach the populace and support infrastructure as that's what will help in the long term).

Unrealistic: North Korea demonstrates that such a closed-off country is not unrealistic at all. Combine that with their cloaking technology and border guard and they're set. That said, like North Korea, it'd be harder to maintain in the 21st century.

Need-to-visit: Depends on the individual's interests and their tourism policies lol.

Wakanda politics: Not sure how long the system got choosing a new ruler will last in the 21st century onwards, especially as a battle of strength doesn't allow female victors due to the physiological differences between men and women. It seems like a tradition that will eventually die out as gender roles become more equal with the passage of time.

View of outsiders: I imagine it'll turn into something like Japan, which remains one of the most homogeneous countries in the world and quite stringent in who they give citizenship to. Citizenship to others will not be wide spread, if permitted at all in the first couple decades. But Japan's opened up very much on the tourism side of it; it might just take Wakanda a couple decades to get to that level of tourism.

Black Panther film: Fantastic film. Definitely top 3 antagonists (though the morons on Twitter who agreed that it's totally okay to kill people based on what some of their ancestors did really missed the point of the film). But he was sympathetic, though like I said, he very much embodies "the end DOES NOT justify the means".

Really loved all the actors. Tickled me that Andy Serkis (who've I've met, he's so awesome) and Martin Freeman were the "Tolkien white guys". I saw this in theaters in Spain actually, and I wasn't bothered by the Spanish subtitles at all (as I went for original English voiceover naturally!) Chadwick Boseman was an inspired casting choice. Shuri is the perfect role model. Brilliant writing and direction from the team.

Hmm. This got longer than I thought it would be.

#wakanda #mcu #headcanon #ask #answered #mdcbd