#people on tumblr dot com who make life here nice

[stormwaterwitch]

🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍💜

🍍 Pineapple: We never talk, but I care about you!

🍍 Pineapple: We never talk, but I care about you!

🍍 Pineapple: We never talk, but I care about you!

🍍 Pineapple: We never talk, but I care about you!

🍍 Pineapple: We never talk, but I care about you!

🍍 Pineapple: We never talk, but I care about you!

🍍 Pineapple: We never talk, but I care about you!

#BREE I LOVE YOU OKAY YOU'RE AMAZING #iui #GO LOVE BREE OKAY #Beloved mutuals #people on tumblr dot com who make life here nice

[pochapal]

trying not to start #discourse over here BUT it needs to be said that i am fascinated by the depths of the average tumblr user's addiction to suffering. go into the notes of any semi-viral positivity/mental health post and it's literally crawling with people going "nice sentiment but it's meaningless against capitalism/trauma/disability/systemic cruelty/the Horrors so fuck you for peddling this delusional bullshit". like yeah bitch the Horrors *are* inescapable! why does that mean you have to be miserable 24/7 about it though??

#:) #been thinking about the chronic impact tumblr dot com's doctrine that happiness is incompatible with hardship had on me #like i don't like to air my dirty laundry out on a semipublic platform #but i think it's pretty evident that i'm a phase of my life where i'm dragging myself up out of rock bottom circumstances #and like even though i am determined to have good things that doesn't make the good things appear any faster #but the more i'm gaining that determined perspective and the more i'm changing as a result #the more i'm seeing that a lot of the last few years was fucked up by the way i denied myself happiness #just because i was surrounded by Horrors even though you can still fully find/create happiness even in hell lmao #and i'm fairly sure this is something that was imprinted on me by this website during my teenage years #so even when there were moments of joy amid my suffering i like. refused to let them exist? #which paradoxically Worsened my existing problems by making me hardcore isolated and defeatist #like no doing things i wanted to and not being lonely and having nice things would not have fixed the horrors #but also the two things can and should coexist lol #and this should be an obvious truth! #but so many people here are bitter weirdos who think being in bad circumstances mean they've forfeited the right to joy #idk man now i'm coming out the other side of it i'm really seeing how Weird this is as a principled mindset

[tactfullyinappropriate]

This is part rant, part sex advice so read at your own discretion. Also one of those posts I'll get a lot of flak for.

In lesbian nsfw content on tumblr dot com one of the most prevalent sentiments is 'I want to pleasure my partner' (insert any variation on it) which is fair and all, and there are a lot of service tops around so it makes sense really. But. For some of us who have difficulty experiencing orgasm or even enjoying sex at all, making our pleasure the focal point of the experience is the absolute worst thing you could do.

It's a nice sentiment, I guess, but if it doesn't actually produce pleasure, is it really that nice? And before you come at me with 'some people really are just service tops and they get their pleasure from pleasuring their partner' - I get it, I do. As a top (or dom/me) you have the right to your preferences and you may absolutely refuse to tell your partner 'Your orgasm is inconsequential, I'm gonna fuck you anyway'. Not to mention that approach is verging on kinky and getting near mindfuck territory, which not every top (as in the person doing the penetration in this case) is comfortable with. Heck, not every dom/me is comfortable with that either - pretending to disregard your partner's pleasure can be a particular flavor of kink not everyone is into.

Buuut.. a lot of what I'm seeing here comes across more as a lack of real-world experience rather than a self-aware preference to focus on your partner's pleasure. Like for example, the amount of 'overstimulation' posts I'm seeing is just wildly disproportionate compared to the amount of women who can be forced to orgasm again and again, and again. This has never been my experience on either side of the dynamic, nor the experience of any of my friends or acquaintances. More often than not, women have trouble reaching a climax and can't really be "forced" into it.

Orgasms are not just a bodily sensation triggered by a certain type of mechanical stimulation. They require you to be in the right headspace as well. So if you actually want to bring about an orgasm, dropping the pressure may be (I want to say usually is) your best bet.

Look, I get it. I've been with women who come from a 2-minute clit rub. I didn't feel particularly accomplished with them... but they do exist! How wonderful for them and the people who just love pleasuring them. The rest of us however? 'Your pleasure is my pleasure' is the worst approach with us. Like, thanks, now if I don't come not only am I bruising your ego but also diminishing your pleasure? That's A LOT of pressure put on my fickle mental focus and unreliable vagina.

All of this is to say: it's fine to have your fantasies of overstimulating a partner to the point of incoherence. But be prepared that the reality of sex may be very, very different depending on how your partner's body and mind work. And sometimes, if your partner's pleasure really is that important to you, pretending it's the complete opposite might be the key to the castle - if you can get with that of course. Nothing's done a better job at helping me let go and experience actual pleasure than a partner's response to my 'I'm not sure if I can come though...':

"That's okay, baby. I don't need you to come for me to enjoy your body."

Um. Yes, Sir.

*I use the word 'woman' here purely based on my actual real-life experience so far but I'm sure this is applicable to a number of different identities. Even for some cis men orgasms are not as easy and effortless as porn makes it seem, I've been told.

#claudia says #wlw ns/ft #wlw bd/sm #wlw nsft #wlw ns/fw #sapphic ns/ft #sapphic nsft #sapphic bd/sm #sapphic ns/fw #lesbian #sapphic #wlw #stone butch #butch lesbian #butchfemme #butch dyke #butch #butch4femme #femme lesbian #high femme #butchfemme nsft

[lollytea]

Up until a month back I liked a guy. And I really liked him. But I found out he didn't like me back. I was really upset, but I didn't want to hold it against him, but then I found out he had a reputation of being a player (which, at our age of 14 is flirtatiously texting girls and then just. Ghosting them).

And I felt really upset. I began to question if he even saw me as a friend, and whether the way he texted me was even friendly. What if he secretly loathed me and was just doing this to get a kick out of it? What if he knew about my feelings and they were just a joke to him?

I wanted to cry, but I told my friends and my sister I was okay. But I wanted to scream. Its not my fault I was born ugly. It's not my fault my face makes me unlovable. And even though I wanted to distance myself from him I felt some sort of perverse pleasure every time he did something embarrassing in front of every one.) And that's when I think it hit me.

That's why I'm unlovable. I am unlovable because I'm a terrible person. My friends tried to comfort me saying that he's a shitty person who can't see my beauty/cuteness, but friends are obligated to say that. I wanted to believe them because they're all so beautiful, and they would never lie to me because they love me. But they deserve a better friend than me.

I want to cry because I want to experience having a whirlwind romance, and falling in love. I also know I'll probably never have that.

And AGH I feel so upset. Because all my life I've known I was ugly. But when this guy showed me attention, was nice to me, it made me feel special. Made me feel like I was having my own romance.

I hate it I hate it I hate it. I hate that I can't be loved, I hate my face, I hate myself for feeling these things. Last year when I suspected I began liking him, I told myself not to fall too deep, and here I am, ranting to you on tumblr dot com.

Lollytea, I love your writing and I love your posts. I love how confident you are of yourself. I'm very sorry for ranting in your inbox about my shitty love life, if this makes you uncomfortable, please delete it. But if you don't, I genuinely would like some encouragement. That my time for my own romance will come. That I will learn to love this face.

You're not unlovable. You're just 14. It just happens that being 14 feels a lot like being chronically unlovable. But no, that is not actually the case.

Maybe you've heard this a lot. And I imagine that it must be frustrating to listen to. That being a teenager just means your emotions are bigger and more intense than they will ever be in your entire life, so they're irrational and silly.

That's not the case either. Your feelings matter. And they're worth being listened to. But I do need you to keep in mind that the age range you're in right now is one of the most difficult periods of time that a human being will ever go through. Being a teenager is very hard. Being an adult is hard too. But me and every adult I've ever met would not trade it for being 14 again. No way in hell.

It does severely influence how you see yourself and why your emotions feel so strong and messy and all over the place. But I assure you that you're doing a fantastic job for a person in your situation. It's rough and you're getting through it and I'm proud of you.

Firstly, I'm going to say this quite bluntly but dont take it as me insulting them. Most of the boys in your class probably aren't that smart. And they are the absolute worst people to be seeking validation from. I promise that their opinion of you is not worth worrying about because they are...stupid, frankly. They won't be stupid forever. Probably. But being 14 is a weird age for boys too and they're quite mean for a while before they mature and chill tf out. Please try not to let it get to you if one of them doesn't like you romantically. I promise you it is not remotely a big deal. None of them have any idea how to be good boyfriends yet anyway.

No, you're not unlovable for occasionally having spiteful little thoughts about somebody who was mean to you. Everybody has those every once in a while. As long as you maintain some self-awareness and don't let cruelty consume your whole brain, having a few mean thoughts doesn't make you a terrible person. What WOULD make you a terrible person is external terrible behaviour. It's your actions that matter. So just be kind, alright? Be kind to your friends. Ignore the people you don't like but be civil. Don't hurt anyone. If you stick to all of this, you're golden. Considering that you already seem so self-critical of being a bit bitchy inside your own head, I think that's a promising sign than you won't do anything worse than that. I hope so anyway. Be kind, that's all you can do. Your friends love you. If you put your all into loving them in return, then you can have something so special.

You're not ugly, you're 14. Sorry, I'm getting a bit repetitive but I think it's relevant information to this whole situation. At the age you're at, your face is probably in this weird transitional period between child and adult so maybe that's why it might look "uglier" than usual to you. It might last a few more years but it won't look like that forever. I assure you that your face is beautiful because it's doing exactly what it's supposed to do. It's alright if you've felt ugly your whole life. The way you look at your own face is way more personal than the way you look at other people's faces. We don't really notice the flaws on others the way we notice our own. We're wired weird like that.

All I can say is hang tight. If you don't like your face then please try not to let it upset you that much. Your face hasn't fully developed yet. For the time being, you look exactly the way you're supposed to look and you're perfect. Let's see how it looks in a few years before we make any rash decisions about it being as ugly as you think it is.

Don't be hasty in the belief that you'll never find love and romance. I assure you that the age you're at is the absolute worst time to get a boyfriend and its perfectly okay if you don't experience it for another while. It's normal. You're fine. It's okay.

I know you want it. I know it sounds nice. And I promise that if its important to you, once you're older and the people you're interested in are a little smarter, you will have it.

I'm serious when I say that for the time being, focus on being a good friend. Focus on school. Focus on your own physical and mental health. Focus on your hobbies. Being wanted by 14 year old boys won't mean shit in the long run.

Things will be okay. You talk so much about how you'll be alone for the rest of your life. But your life has only just begun and you hardly know who you are yet. It's impossible to tell what will happen in the coming years. I promise that you'll be okay.

I know you came for me for reassurance but from that last paragraphs, I'm sure you're already smart enough to know the things I've told you. But I imagine that you just needed a second opinion. Take care, love.

[acheronist]

ok here's my player fansign event gossip

🐙

i was running a teensy bit late so i didn't get to say hi to rasmussen but he did look VERY handsome and looked a bit afraid LMAO. my sweet moose was probably out of his depth.. socially awkward darling

debrincat came out second and he was so so so so kind to fans. he was taking a ton of time to stop and sign something for EVERYONE who wanted something signed. about 8 or 9 guys passed him and went inside before he was nearly done walking thru the crowd to sign stuff... :'-) welcome home kitty we love u + it was so nice to see him recognize how excited we are for him too rahhh

i honestly dont remember seeing andrew copp at all but he must have walked by lol

berggren was sooo 🤏🏻🤏🏻 and cute and polite. he signed things very neatly and small and carefully (literally just JB48 in like a 1" square. its ok baby u can take up more space) + we congratulated him on getting called up again because we all love to see him skate and he seemed really genuinely surprised/pleased to hear it

it seemed like ville was bouncing back and forth between both sides of the walk a ton... also just trying to sign everything for everyone who wanted it... he was so 🙂 shaped though.. and he really is pale as fuck i think my guy was refracting sunlight as he walked by. i liked his signature a lot though it was very tight + angular + neatly written. big emphasis on the double Ls in his name. I dont even remember if he spoke though i'll be real.

ben chiarot looked sharp as FUCK. he had a turtleneck on under his suit jacket and his hair all slicked back..... he was serving sexy team dilf without children realness. so my bestie asked him if he just got done at a GQ model shoot while he was signing her shirt and he smirked and laughed under his breath a bit. whore <3

fischer was really fun to look at irl. his face is crazy i want 2 draw him. thats all i got LMAO. i dont remember anything else sorry to the christian fischer stans of tumblr dot com

compher was very polite too but he was moving thru the crowd really quick.. again i think he was just awkward and a little out of his depth w the crowd in the same way ras was? but he was very polite + nice + softspoken tho and i took a selfie w him for @comphy-and-cozy because she's violently in love with him but couldn't be there LOL

ghost looked SAUR sexy.. dark green suit well tailored very kind and polite.. i like that boy ! he was really softspoken too which surprised me because he's been such a freaky bitch on the ice lately

i also dont remember sprong at all but i do remember thinking it was kind of a #serve to match the toque to be the same burgundy color as his suit (also extremely well tailored. everyone looked very handsome). creative ways to make early male pattern baldness be kind of cunty + well dressed for the weather.

DYLAN.... DYYLAAANNNNNNNNNN

he was so so lovely.. definitely doing the same move as debrincat where he was just taking his damn time to sign smth for everyone who wanted smth. he was kind of in Good Captain Autopilot Mode it really reminded me of clips of stevie from the 90s... hockeytown loves our captains so much its unreal. but he signed my jersey and said hi to our little group and i sooo shaky lmao. but i handed him the art & he started to sign the plastic sleeve it was in? and I went no it's for you! and he kind of checked back into real life and went oh OH!!!!! and smiled when he actually looked at it and carried it w him thru the rest of the line :'-) idk i feel like he must get a lot of gifts from fans? but he definitely looked at it inside the doors of the LCA and he definitely carried it w him and didn't throw it away immediately so. big win for people who are me.

lucas and mo were funny asf they made it about 75% of the way thru the line and then the sun came out and was in their eyes and they both said ok i'm done now thank u and left. #respect

joey was so cute.. my bestie made a sign calling him a himbo last year and (then) he asked what a himbo was so we said Lmao google it, and this year he was signing stuff and talking to us and we were like "did you ever google what a himbo was" and he went huh. ohhh yeah lol like he was somehow both Pleased and Very embarrassed about it . cutesie.

newsy came out too!! and his daughter was with him and it was so cute they had matching friendship bracelets and newsy was like (to us the crowd) omg guys can we take a selfie ? can we do that?? and we were like Dawg you're head coach you can do anything you want..... so we all got a selfie w him LMAOOOO and he was so sweet and gently spoken and kind to fans. which still is crazy. i get whiplash every time how different he is to blash (the old coach who was a bitch and looked like he wanted to call people slurs but knew better) its unreallll

i think all the interviews where walman's said how much he likes detroit + feels wanted here weren't lies or exaggerations at all.... he stuck around so long to sign things for everyone (like dylan and debrincat did) and I think he was the last guy on the walk? and he was so funny and smiley and happy to be there.. my fucking GUY!!!!

#drw #also everyone was walked out alongside younger kids who play for the little caesars team and that was so cool too #esp because there were so many ~10 y/o girls who looked like they could kick your ass just hanging out w nhlers as they walked

[fallowtail]

You're so right! Wallowing in pointless, narcissistic self-pity by posting the same exact whining complaints every single day just to get fake attention from online strangers is MUCH better for your mental health. (especially since you just ignore the people here who try to be sympathetic and instead write yet more of the exact same posts about poor wittle you) Seriously, you don't seem like you want to be happier or better---you're too enamored with being a victim. You should be honest with yourself about that. It's hard but the first step to truly getting better.

Man at least be original in what you’re saying and don’t make it look like I’m sending myself anon messages for attention on tumblr dot com, come on. If you’re gonna be shitty about someone being mentally ill on the internet and talking about it on their personal blog and not being able to pull themselves up by their boot straps into perfect mental health just because people on the internet are nice to them (which, as an aside, you say is fake attention from online strangers, but then are also saying that because those same online strangers are nice to me about it that I should be able to use that to magically cure myself, which one is it? If that worked people with loving families wouldn’t kill themselves, man, but guess what: they do! All the time!) can you at least, like, idk, have something interesting or original to say? These are really bold assumptions to make about a stranger, what do you know about my life or how much I’ve fought to “get better”? You think you know me innately because you read vent posts I make while I’m having an episode and think that makes you an expert on me? This is honestly a little pathetic of you to be doing when you can’t even be bold enough to come off of anonymous, lol. Grow a spine man, come on.

#I promise I’m not sending myself these this person is just a coward #And also not creative lol. If I wanted to pretend to be mean to myself I would be a lot more creative than this #replies #anon #suicide cw #just to be safe #you’re not upsetting me btw if thats your goal my eyes have simply rolled into the back of my head and I love being snippy

[spindrifters]

dude i really dont know how to tell you this in a comprehensible way but im just so in awe at you. i've been following your blog for maybe two months or smth bc of the constant wolfstar spam and really enjoy that.

but also i find it so so nice to see an adult in fandom that is comfortable with being an adult in fandom. i've seen lots of people turn away from fandom activity as they grow older (especially from harry potter related stuff. ig it becomes embarrassing for people) but i couldn't imagine that for myself as it is a big part of my own life. why would i stop engaging in a community that shares art and stories and beliefs?

(also as i'm a nonbinary teenager my heart just kind of jumps seeing an adult whos comfy presenting themselves like that on the internet. i'm finishing school soon and growing into the age where lots of people in my social circle seem to expect from me to grow out of this "phase". ALSO i make art myself and its just cool to see "real" writers in fandom. (i really hope me telling you this doesn't bother you.))

i just wanna tell you that your silly little posts always make me giggle and this blog feels like its own little safe space :) hope you're having a nice day <3

I want you to know that it really made my day to wake up to this.

I remember being a teenager and seeing my 30+ fandom friends and just sort of thinking well that's great for them, but there was an underlying assumption that I'd probably grow out of it by then. which made me really sad, but I assumed it was just a natural part of growing up. and then I didn't grow out of it. but more importantly, like you've said, I became really comfortable with it. if football fanboys can have their niche obsessive interests their whole life, then so can I. that's something that happens across the board, at least in my experience. I hit 27 or 28 I think and started embracing things I thought I'd have to put away as an adult, only now I had the freedom to do it in ways I didn't when I was younger. (I'm not just talking fandom. I'm talking dying my hair pink after 7 years of blonde because it made me happy and I stopped caring about it looking professional.)

and I do think part of this is because there's no actual way to 'be an adult.' part of that's because the markers and milestones boomers and much of gen x had don't really exist for us anymore. so you get older and it's a realization that, "I don't have to look and act like an adult. an adult looks and acts like me, because that's what I am." and then you start to meet other people who think similarly. the community of 30+ fans here on tumblr dot com are honestly some of the best people I know.

anyway, all this is to say, I so remember what those growing pains you're going through/can see on the horizon were like, especially relating to the interests I had that society messaged to me were shameful to have. I was a teenager during peak fangirl shaming of the 00s/10s. so I turned it into a fucking career instead.

I'm really, really glad that this feels like a safe space for you, it makes my lil gremlin heart very cozy and warm. xx

#lovely things people say to me #ask box

[bangingoutthetunes]

common genshin fandom L

the quality for genshin x reader fics has seriously fucking declined within the past year or so. some authors that are making it big today wouldn’t have had a winter’s chance in hell to gain popularity back when people really had to try and when writing was an art form. this is who the post is about. It makes sense when ppl are starting out and they aren't the best at writing, especially within your first couple of weeks. I'm not really aiming to drag those people with this rant.

unfortunately, i’ve had the displeasure of reading the most god-awful shit with my own two eyes. it takes every fiber of my being to not claw my corneas out. there’s no point in even discussing who these authors are, though, because they’re popular and have their interactions and their readers just eat that shit up! it’s flabbergasting! 

the truth of the matter is that, fortunately, i find comfort in knowing that i am not the only author/fic reader that has noticed this heavy decline in quality. i don’t covet the popularity these so-called ‘authors’ have garnered, no; i find peace in knowing that i have the interactions i do and that my readers can thoroughly enjoy my works without wincing every minute or so. for every three mid fics there is one saving grace in any given tag, and i commend those authors that truly dedicate themselves to producing a beautiful piece. those authors are what inspire me to keep going and try as hard as i do with what i write. 

i suppose this is a combination of thoughts i’ve been having for months now; see this(1),  this(2),  this(3),  this(4), and this(5) and this(6). 

i have to admit that it really is a privilege to be able to say that something like this is the issue that is currently irritating me the most (truly, it's the only thing irritating me at all). there are people dying and starving out there that would call me an ingrate for complaining about awful quality of content on tumblr dot com and archive of our own dot org. they’re probably right, but this is my shitpost blog and i can post literally whatever the fuck i want to on here anyways. by all means, dont agree with me! no one will force you to do such a thing, and im not interested in starting any drama w anyone. it's beyond me and i have better things to do. if this post makes you upset and foam at the mouth, ask yourself why that is.

by popular demand i made a post making suggestions on how to improve your writing. and, no, you can have a life aside from writing and still improve. It really doesn't take writing religiously to be good at it. find it here. i write sparingly because i want to make sure that whatever i do write has love crafted into it. people have lives aside from the art they make.

i'm not going to retract anything I said for the sake of being nice or avoiding hurting people's feelings. I say things the way i see them and couldn't care less if you think im an asshole because you disagree with my methods. Ik everyone starts somewhere but you don't need to baby anyone into realizing that they need improvement. these are all just pixels on a screen in a floating rock in space, anyways.

#genshin x reader #genshin smut #genshin impact #just found out tumblr blaze is a thing #i wouldn't be surprised if some of these authors paid for their initial engagement

[maiaacchiato]

anyways before i pass out have this

i love just. hanging out with you like in general.

we could just be scrolling on our twitter feed and you just laying down on my lap while i occasionally tickle your shoulders for like 30 mins and it would feel like those 30 mins havent passed yet

speaking of tickling your shoulder- i love how you just. scrunch up alot and like its the most adorable thing ever. i'll slightly move my hand and you suddenly jumping without me doing anything yet is the funniest most adorable shit yes i am making fun of you on tumblr dot com deal with it love ya/p<3

i love your little letters. i still read them every now and then and everytime without fail reading it puts a smile on my face

we could hang out at nbs and spending like 90% of the time in the line and id still have fun because hanging out with you is always fun ngl TT

you are literally the most adorable little thing LMAO /pos

im gonna keep making fun of you for those typos forever btw <3

i would literally do anything for you if you just. ask. i would find a way to move actual mountains and yk insert sappy stuff here

youre someone who i dont mind spending the rest of my time with, which says a lot because i dont really like hanging out with anyone??? save for a few people like jack or ced or you, and especially you TT hanging out with you has become a huge part of my life that its become like a habit and now that school's over i kinda just dont know what to do anymore and yeah maybe i miss you everyday so what i dont think i can say that to your face anyways uh ahah

anyways the habit thing even manifests when im absent bc of either physical or mental health (usually tho its mental health like im so mentally exhausted that i dont think i have the energy to talk to people but youre somehow the exception to this and yeah

your hugs are like really nice TT idk how else to describe it but it feels homely and yeah

anyways uh thats it i think love you lots /p take care of yourself please and yeah

#rollercoaster stuff #maybe hopefully this will become a habit of me writing down stuff #mia's ramblings

[crispy-chan]

jas darling, im so sorry you havent been feeling great. idk if we've interacted in the past, but i just wanted to say i love your blog! its always a pleasure seeing you come up on my dash, and i think i havent reached out before because you seem like a big blog and i didnt want to bother you. but it appears you want interaction so hi!! how are you??

im sorry to hear about your friend cancelling, im sure since they keep reaching out, they truly do want to connect with you, if they didnt like you anymore, theyd just ignore you, yeah? so maybe things keep coming up. it sucks, but hopefully youll get through it. maybe try and organise something smaller, if sleepovers consistently dont work? like meet up for lunch or dinner, watch a movie and then leave before people have to sleep. i know one of my friends has anxiety over people sleeping over so we generally just do everything we would with a sleepover, but leave before 10 or whatever. it might not work, but worth a try?

anyway i hope you feel a little brighter soon, know that even if it seems like people always put you second, there are people that care about you and want to spend time with you, even if theyre not very good at showing it. and if all else fails, you have us tumblr gremlins to keep you company

aelia <3

hello <3

i also don't think we have directly interacted, but i do remember seeing you in my notifs and perhaps even on my dash o.O

anyways, first of all, thank you <33 i'm really grateful for you reaching out to me. i feel like i'm just a broken record when i keep saying that half of the fun of writing is the interactions (and by that i don't mean only feedback!)

that's really sweet of you to say, i appreciate it <3 i'm just always confused when ppl call me a big blog and idk if i should be honored or if i should laugh T_T bcs i have no idea what makes people think that. for me, big blogs are the ones with thousands of followers who get all the asks, write really good stuff and actually create nice banners lmfao </3

but please, trust me when i say you're never bothering anyone!

we're all here on dumblr dot com writing ff or creating gifs, i think that speaks for itself T_T i feel like this is an escape for most of us or a way to further advance our goals in life (for the ppl who want to write profesh) but i genuinely don't think any writer/cc would be bothered by interactions, trust me <3

i'm doing pretty well ig, just a tad frustrated but what's new :>

but tbh, i'm hoping that what you say is true but it's starting to feel like it isn't... she's the only person who i really ever do sleepovers with so it isn't anything new, just that our plans never work out nowdays. it sucks bcs i know that in between the two of us having to cancel out plans, she hangs out/sleeps over at other people so like not to be that insecure bitch but i'm staring to fear that she just doesn't want to spend time with me...

thank you though, and i mean it. i'm genuinely crying right now idk what's wrong with me. i'm such an emotional person but reading this has brought me to tears.

i hope you know how much i appreciated you reaching out <33 i never want to force these things out of people but it seems like people just avoid me on purpose sometimes, ngl. my self esteem isn't exactly the highest even though i sometimes act all high and mighty...

thank you... i'm grateful to all tumblr gremlins, just letting you know :>

#mail 💌 #lixiesbabyhands #this was really sweet of you #tysm #i hope you have a lovely day #<3 #sending you a big hug

[kmyc]

hmmmm firsy post on thsi blog thats very important i have to think about what it should say ahhhhhhhhhhh

so my at cmyk account on pixilart filled a very specific niche for me. it was like talking to myself in public pretty much and i honestly think that fulfilled some kind of personal need

but now i wanna leave pixilart so im hoping i can fill that need somewhere else (tumblr

i think pixilart dot com has been a very important part of my life (cringe) it was the first social media i was ever on and i found that unlike anywhere else i was not afraid to just be so stupid. to make things that embarrass me. to be myself. i found out that i was trans there, and i dont think that i would have improved at art the same way without it. for some context, pixilart is a niche online pixel art drawing platform and social media. its the first thing that comes up if you google pixel art, which is how i found it.

now the downside of all this is that i am now embarrassed to let anyone who hasnt gotten to know me that way see anything that i make on pixilart. this is a problem. if im going to be myself (which i imagine would be nice) i have to be able to do embarrassing things and let everyone see me being stupid. and i think that the best way to do that right now is to distance myself a bit from my time on pixilart, and then let people look at it if they want to.

to that end, if you want to know what ive been up to or maybe get to know me a bit better, see these:

pixilart.com/username-here

pixilart.com/usemame-here

pixilart.com/cmyk

i am very embarrassed of them. im odd with things like this. it might be best not to tell me if you look through them

[myname-isnia]

I need to vent. So badly. I need to do it out loud because I’ve had enough of being stuck in my own thoughts

I need to talk to someone who’d actually listen, who wouldn’t chastise me or try to turn everything into a moral lesson or pretend like they know me better than I know myself

It’s why I can’t talk to my mom. Why do I have to live in a world where I can’t talk about my problems to my mom?

She doesn’t get me, not in a “I’m a moody teenager nobody understands me” kind of way, but in a “you know nothing about what I’m going through or crying about, why are you acting like just because you listen to instagram psychologists in your free time means you’re the most enlightened person on god’s green earth??”

I don’t have anyone I could go to. My mom’s out, who’s left? Not my little sister, definitely not my shitty dad. Who else? My grandma’s the reason my mom’s the way she is, so not her. My dad’s SIL is one of my most favourite people in the world but I don’t feel like I can come crying to her, she’s too blunt, too brutally honest. She’s helped me greatly before, but I’d go to her for any problem except emotional.

I don’t want to go to my friends. I already was the cause of a fight that ended a fourteen year friendship. I’ve already showed them that I’m extremely unstable and prone to hysterics. If I start openly crying to them about such seemingly minor things, they’ll get sick of me and I’ll lose them. I don’t know how to make friends. I don’t have anyone else.

And my problems are just so, so stupid. So inconsequential to anyone but me. Even for myself, all they bring are tears and headaches, and yet here I am, sobbing over them again and again, intentionally throwing myself down self hatred spirals that I know every curve of like the back of my hand, going throw the same thought processes that I know will make me upset.

Why do I keep doing it? Do I just like to make myself suffer? Have I no real problems?

If it wasn’t obvious, I’m once again being a whiny bitch about my art

We’ve been here a million times. My skills are nowhere as good as I’d like them to be, I’m complaining about it on tumblr dot com instead of taking steps to improve, when I try to talk about it and people give me actually good advice I get mad and hysterical because I’m not being validated in my useless, self-imposed suffering that will lead me nowhere. Yeah yeah, what else is new?

To get good at art you need to study. You need to look at what other people do, how they create art that you like, and try to learn from it. But whenever I look at people who are more skilled than I am, I turn into a fucking toddler. Why them?? Why are they better than me??? I get so irrationally angry that I literally only follow one artist, a… I suppose ‘friend’ is a nice term, though I don’t know how accurate it is. If it isn’t, then a mutual. And I get insanely jealous of her too, but I’m better at containing it. We don’t talk much, but I still don’t wanna ruin what little relationship we have because of my inability to process my emotions.

Honestly? I’m just tired. Completely fucking exhausted from all these tantrums I throw. It seems I say it so often lately, but I truly am sick of myself. The fits, the crying into my pillow until I get a pounding headache, the pushing everyone away because I can’t stand the embarrassing ordeal of being cared for… I don’t know how much more of it all I can take. I wish I didn’t exist.

My mom sat me down today when she noticed how I angrily shut off my tablet. I spent a year desperate for a shoulder to cry on, so I told her that I’m frustrated by my art, or rather, by the lack of it. I’ve told her before over the phone and she always started lecturing me about not giving up and trying and practicing and how the greats weren’t born great and all that stuff. I thought she’d be different in real life. She wasn’t.

She says I’m lazy. Says I don’t want to learn. That I don’t try. But I do. I try and I try and I try. I create canvases and start sketching and get frustrated and delete them and want to throw my tablet at the wall and snap my stylus in half… but I don’t stop trying. And sometimes, very rarely, I manage to draw something I’m happy with in the moment. Often I’ll think it should be killed with fire in a few days time, but it’s the moment that counts.

Mom tries to teach me theory she doesn’t know. She doesn’t have an artistic bone in her body, yet acts like she’s been drawing all her life. She tells me to trace over art books, to look at cartoons and movies and learn how expressions and poses work. No matter how much I yell, how much I tearfully explain that that’s not the main problem, that if I need to draw something I’ll figure out a way, she won’t listen. She can say she understands all she wants, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t get that I can’t physically visualise what I want to draw

I wanted to make some Green Opal art for a few days now. I’ve only drawn them four times before – walking side by side, sleeping cuddled up, Opal kissing Midori on the cheek and Midori holding Opal as she flips Suyin off. I tried thinking what I’d want to draw them like this time. Sitting together, one’s head on another’s shoulder? Actually kissing on the lips? Bending? Reading a book?

I tried to picture it in my head. I couldn’t come up with anything. I looked at dozens of references. Nothing seemed right. I read through lists of romantic interaction prompts. None of them inspired me. My mind’s eye was completely empty, and I don’t have aphantasia or whatever it’s called, I can normally visualise pretty much anything. But when it comes to art, it’s like someone slips a blindfold over it.

And say I did come up with what to draw – then what? Draw it? With my anatomy so wonky it could classify as body horror? My thick and lifeless lineart that suffers most from my heavyhandedness? My colours which I can never memorise the theory of? My shading which is basic at best and completely nonsensical at worst? And say I did manage to make something decent even with all of that added into the equation – then what? Post it and get a grand total of three notes?

I know art is first and foremost supposed to be for yourself, you’re supposed to enjoy making it and looking at it. But if I don’t, if I hate the process of drawing and the end result so much that sometimes I feel like killing myself over, what else is there for me to do but seek feedback? A spare like. A causal reblog with no added tags. There are days when those serve as my lifeline. Days when the hundreds of screenshots I’ve made over two and a half years of people saying nice things to me are the only things that keep me going. Even if 80% of those are things said by my friends, who are basically obligated to say nice things to me.

But if I hate art so much, why do I keep at it?

I don’t know

To prove something, maybe? To whom? My parents? Myself? Society? Probably not. I don’t have anything to prove

To leave my mark on the internet? To make myself feel like I’m doing something instead of just lazing about all day?

Am I just doing it by inertia because once upon a time a lonely middle schooler convinced herself she was gonna be an artist?

I really don’t know. If it doesn’t make me happy, what’s the point? If the number of people who interact with my art could be counted on one hand, what’s the point? If it drives me to going insane with screaming and crying at least once a week, what’s the fucking point?

I should just quit. It won’t be a big loss. Maybe then my mental health will actually improve, once I stop dragging it down into the gutter with every non finished piece that can barely count as being started

Quit writing while I’m ahead too. It’s not like I’ve written anything in a month anyway. And before that, it took me almost a year and a half to post something. It’s clearly not for me.

#to anyone I owe a reply message to – I apologise. I’ll need five to ten business days to recover from this #if I ever do #knowing me I’ll recover and then get into this all over again by the end of the week #my mom made me promise to spend time with her tomorrow morning #I really don’t want to but she won’t listen #I just want to be alone #I thought crying to someone would make me feel better #somehow it’s even lonelier than crying by myself in an empty apartment clutching a dirty stuffed animal #my head is killing me. it feels like it’ll split open any second #maybe I should just go to bed

[wavernot4love]

this sounds corny but i keep seeing my jaws of life post resonate with people and. it is nice not feeling like i am yelling into the void and no one is listening for a change <3

just coming from someone who only started using this site again a couple months ago and has especially been using it a bunch the past week or two after feeling. genuinely strung out and ignored over on twitter dot com and always feeling like things r a popularity contest i am losing thanks to that views feature and whatnot.

anyways i'm just glad this seems 2 be a place i can talk about the music i love and potentially post the stuff i make w/o being looked at like i have three heads idk dawg rant over i just need a place to 1. talk about those things 2. have community at all times and i was honestly spiraling for a while there without a grip on one so i am grateful i could come over here n find that

ps i am still learning (relearning?) how 2 use/navigate this site so if anyone has any tips that would have helped you out when you first joimed tumblr please do feel welcome 2 give any advice hhhh

pps somewhat related to that, i always find myself looking up specific tags to find posts i wanna see and whatnot because i just don't follow that many people and am vaguely Afraid to follow more but i'd like 2 see more stuff on my dashboard, so if you post about stuff like mcr ls dunes fob the pilots & general scene bands/stuff... please do stick around ?!? idk if we say "mutuals" over here but i'm 100% down to be that!!!

#ramblings #idk tldr it is Nice to not feel like i am. 1. alone and 2. being pointed and laughed at in the process

[juniperberries]

keep scrolling if you dont want depressed ranting lol i cant figure out how to add a read more on mobile

im back on my bullshit rambling to nobody on tumblr dot com but can i just say that im struggling so hard with not wearing makeup these days

i used to wear makeup all the time from like 12 to maybe 22. like the kind of frequent makeup use that leads to feeling like a gross human without it. like spending a half hour to an hour putting on makeup in the morning in like middle and high school. i also refused to wear glasses in public when i first found out my vision sucked because i was an insecure 12 year old girl with unknown at the time autism who was terrified of not looking as nice as my “friends” (i also had a best friend until 13 who made it her mission in life to make me feel lesser than and prevented me from befriending her friends that i shared a lunch table with every damn day but anyway)

anyway i started wearing glasses every now and then in high school when i was feeling lazy in the morning. i think sometime after 18 maybe? i started going out places without makeup and it was nice! i didnt have to spend that extra time getting ready in the morning, i could rub my eyes as much as i wanted, i could nap during the day without worrying about getting makeup all over my pillow, and i didnt have to take it all off before bed

i think as i started to see more and more interesting feminist takes on makeup on this website i started to realize that i enjoyed the benefits of not wearing it and i didnt want to contribute to societal rules about women needing makeup to be seen as professional, as pretty, as people, etc. i stopped wearing it completely. i got married a few months ago with no makeup whatsoever.

thing is, as much as i realize that wearing makeup contributes to the problem, and realize objectively that i dont need it, i kind of feel like shit! i think it has to do with having the distinct memory of the attention i get with makeup versus without. makeup and clothing was a big part of my Artistic Expression in high school and i thrived on getting compliments from other women about my eyeliner or jewelry or whatever. i felt very Artsy and people were friendlier!

but add in the fact that i gained a fair amount of weight in 2019 and 2020 and im just fucking ignored a lot! people used to call me pretty a lot and it completely stopped when i stopped wearing makeup. i noticed a sharp difference in the coverage from our wedding planner and photographer on their websites for our wedding, which again i did not wear makeup for, versus other weddings they worked on that were more aesthetic or whatever.

it’s just so much more painful to experience all this when i know what it was like for me in the past! at this point i just feel gross and unattractive all the time which isnt good for my mental health either! i know objectively that it shouldnt impact my confidence and that We Live in a Society and that not wearing makeup is the right choice but try telling that to the vast majority of the population who arent so progressive. maybe the moral of the story here is that i need to surround myself with likeminded people but im Autistic and Very Depressed Right Now and havent had any local friendships that lasted longer than a few months since i dropped out of high school in 2013! so yknow

anyway it might be obvious but this is a desperate attempt at reaching out so if you have any advice or reassurance or similar experience pls reply or send a message or something

#yeah i live with my husband now which is healthier than with my family #but im down to being around one person #and my mom is seven hours and a country border away #nobody cares

[lizzienaut]

I totally understand what you're saying but think whit me a little bit ok,

Do you really think this community is fair to everyone? That is it fair enough so that people like me do not complain about not having the same respectful treatment with you, THE ROPE LOVERS?????. Idfk and don't care, I'm just saying facts, that's all. Also commission custom tword art? It doesn't sound like a bad idea actually!, one thing I'll make sure is that it's not the work of any of you, but again it's right that i'm being the bad person here so oficially i'm leaving here, stop saying nasty things and will try to do my best to tolerate this community, despite y'all will make very difficult nlg

honestly? i’m not gonna be as nice as the other people have been.

you, based on how you portray yourself through each dumpster fire of an ask sent to this community’s content creators, are clearly a misguided minor who has learned nothing from this experience. despite apologizing on mickey’s blog, you still show up in my asks (rather late too, very offended on that front) and continue to speak negatively of the others in this community through your passive aggressive comments (i.e. “the rope lovers”).

answer me this; what’s so bad about liking bondage? feathers? feet? trick question - absolutely nothing. this shit isn’t inherently sexual (i mean for god’s sakes, half of the people in this community realized they like tickling because of children’s media) — a mass majority of the people here who draw feathers and feet and light bondage are SAFE FOR WORK (i.e. no genitalia showing, no underlying (intended) sexual themes, etc) just drawing those things because they think it’s fun. it is literally as simple as that. the community is not going to serve you the content you specifically want on a silver platter, both because god knows you don’t deserve it AND for the fact that despite how unfair it may seem to you, artists owe you jack fucking shit my guy. nothing. nada. zip. zero. yeah, it’s frustrating to not find what you’re looking for, but that’s the internet for you dude. wanna know the secret? literally just keep looking and blocking the content you don’t like. you made this everyone’s problem when you could’ve just shut your mouth, silently blocked the accounts you don’t like, and moved on your merry little way to go finish whatever homework you probably didn’t do.

also — even if the art is suggestive or sexual in nature, who gives a shit? it is not the creator’s responsibility to walk on eggshells for you just because you find it upsetting, so long as it’s tagged properly. you’re clearly old enough to use some common sense, so utilize those block buttons. it’s not rocket science.

i’m very pleased to hear that you wouldn’t commission me — i wouldn’t want your money anyways, as i don’t want to work with individuals who tell people to kill themselves, or harass others into doing what they want, or are just generally throwing tantrums on everyone else’s blogs.

i could not give less of a shit that my (or my mutuals’) presence on tumblr dot com will make your poor widdle life that much harder. you are not being respected because you do not treat others with that same respect you so desperately crave in return.

block button. that simple.

you’re clearly the same asshole that you were before, your apologies and promises mean nothing to me, nor does your opinion.

leave me and my slut well in peace now :)

#liz peeps™ #anon #tickling

[pocketramblr]

oh time to answer some questions I guess, since this Anon asked so nicely

Yeah sure why not. Anyway go read my fics here

Literally it's so weird. Like babe I already got my religion. I talk to Jesus about things you'll never know, I heed prophets you'll never hear of, I ignore the voice of men because I laid my head in God's lap and offered Her a deal that I give her my memories to carry for five years because I was a child not strong enough to hold them myself yet. I know what I'm about, but like. You're the one making a bot to send a Bible copypasta to random people on the internet who really Did Not Ask, what are you doing with your life?

Unlike Bones I have a grasp of storytelling and knowing what details are important, like not skipping the introduction to a whole villain organization because movie money go brr, and so yes. Mirio and Tamaki are soulmates. Cord and Rysn have crushes on each other. Dadmight is the most important relationship outside of friends being pals. Golden trio and alleyway trio supremacy. Kaladin is the most aspec protag and Brando copy pasted a tumblr blog about being demi directly into his internal monologue in ob. I don't know what happened between Vasher and Vivenna but dang if it didn't lead to a glow up for her. So glad she didn't learn how to be subtle or sneak from him, that'd be so ooc

Don't like it :(

To expand, I don't like it all and knowing the actual numbers of how most people who could get vaccinated around here just aren't makes it worse

Yes I know but we knew that since he pulled his little "withholding my quirk is a great idea" stunt and proved himself to know nothing. Anyway, Stan Masuo, the best little sad himbo, and Fujiko my beloved, and Owl's Second bc imaginary is the bomb dot com

Kinda rude :/ but like. Also fair! The answer is yes I'm tired that's why I have aus, the brain never shuts off

#*throws this in my queue to make me laugh later* #pocket talks to people #anon #i guess. technically???