#over the past four years

[fabdante]

in this one the part where i spent months blanking on what to do for a background has been shortened

art only blog - insta - inprnt - redbubble

#creepypasta #butter street hitchhiker #how to summon the butter street hitchhiker #reddit nosleep #nosleep #r/nosleep #timelapse #art timelapse #horror art #my art #i want to do more of these for no other reason then i wish to draw fan art for the various creepypastas i have heard and enjoyed #over the past four years

[comradekatara]

You mentioned in one of your posts that you have a whole Azula healing in your head. If that's something you wouldn't mind sharing, what are yout thoughts on that? What do you think she would have to see, learn and go through to heal?

okay I did write this post over four years ago, and I think I stand by a lot of it (I couldn’t be bothered to reread the whole thing so I just skimmed it). like, I maintain that toph would be the first person to try to reach out and help her and give her the space she needs to work through her shit, and I maintain that aang and azula would go to the swamp and have an existential crisis together (and become friends after that), and that she would get trounced in pai sho against sokka, etc etc. yeah, looking back on it, I agree with most of what I said here. that said, I do think she would reconnect with mai and ty lee at some point when they’re all older and in a healthier place. obviously I still maintain that ursa is dead, but I no longer vehemently feel that they would never want to see her again. I think they’d be open to seeing her on occasion once enough of the gaang actively vouches for her (mainly sokka and toph). I also quite liked “azula in the spirit temple” for many reasons, while hating what the rest of the godforsaken comics did to azula. I guess in my vision azula would undergo a similar hallucination while in the swamp. I think azula would actually have to confront what ozai did to her in some direct, tangible way, and acknowledge that her desire to please him and her unwavering faith in his supremacy was fundamentally born of fear. I think what’s most important to azula’s healing journey is simply finding a way to shed the logic of violence she internalized as a child, and to no longer be motivated by fear, but instead by love.

#lizdump #asks #azula #maybe one day I’ll totally rework my azula recovery outline into something more detailed and nuanced #but for now I’m just trying to clear out my inbox. sorry #I do think over the past four years some of my opinions have changed a lot #but I’ve always loved azula so much and that’s never gonna change. so #when I finally finish my full postwargaang outline….. then you’ll see…. then you’ll all see…

[carefulfears]

the biggest thing about elegy is that it takes all of that unspoken isolation of this arc, and it slowly lets the audience in. the first thing that mulder says about the apparitions, is that they seem to be an "omen." an impending prophecy. and carefully, throughout the episode, both the audience and scully are waiting to see, not who the killer is, but what is being foretold. when they're going over records, and scully's nose starts bleeding, it's the one thing that they can't ignore. she wasn't even there in the previous episode. she was in the hospital. alone. they don't talk about it. she's "fine." she has "always been the strong one." just like in irresistible, years earlier, she does not want him to know how much she is struggling. but she doesn't have any control. it is dripping out of her. the sound of his voice when he says "oh, scully." and how quickly she responds "it's okay. i'm fine."

it's that kind of childlike grimace in him, the same man who flinches away from dead bodies and stares at the ground before his father. and she's so fast to try to restore order. it's okay. i'm fine. don't worry, i'll clean it up. i'll make it go away. when she disappears into the bathroom and sees an apparition there herself...i think she decides to go to the hospital because she just needs space, honestly. she's scared. he offers to drive her, to go with her, twice. asks, "you sure?" and she says, twice, "i'm fine."

elegy builds to two separate climaxes: the first, when mulder comes to scully's apartment. but before that, we see scully in karen kosseff's office, the same therapist that she had gone to in irresistible, and presumably has kept a relationship with in the years since. she tells karen that she's been diagnosed with inoperable untreatable cancer, and when karen asks, "you've kept working?" she answers, "yes. it's been important to me."

she's taken aback when karen asks why, is surprised at the question, and tells her "agent mulder has been concerned. he's been supportive, through this time."

KOSSEFF: Do you feel that you owe it to him to continue working?

SCULLY: (quickly) No. (pauses) I guess I never realized how much I rely on him before this...his passion...he's been a great source of strength that I've drawn on.

KOSSEFF: What happened last night, Dana?

SCULLY: I saw something. I, I don't know what to trust. If I saw it because of the stress, because the image had been suggested to me or if it was a suggestion of my own fears.

KOSSEFF: Your fear of failing him?

SCULLY: (exhales emotionally) Maybe.

this is such a rare admission from scully. first of all, she's being confronted. this is not normal. it is not normal to work to your death. it's like bill tells her, a couple of episodes later, "what are you doing at work, getting knocked down, beaten up? what are you trying to prove?"

(she hadn't even told bill about her cancer. she'd been sick for months. she thought she was going to die in memento mori, she knows she's going to die sooner than later. and she instructed her mom not to tell her brother. from the moment that mulder said "i refuse to believe that," it really was only going to go one way.)

she's being confronted. why are you working? (for mulder). do you feel you owe him? (no, i need him).

she's really alone. she's sick. like, she's really sick. she spent the last case in the hospital. she's having a hard time keeping up. she's thinning, and bleeding, and struggling. but there she goes, every day, at every hour. monster chasing. telling him she's fine.

(so much conflict comes from the way that mulder's ignorance perfectly enables scully's repression)

when he shows up, late, at her apartment, he comes in a mile-a-minute, about how he needs her "help" on the case, before asking her what her doctor said. (her answer, of course, being, "i'm fine.")

he tells her that everyone who has seen an apparition, was dying. every person who reported a premonition, was near death themselves.

SCULLY: Harold Spuller is dying too?

MULDER: Well, that's what I need your medical opinion on.

SCULLY: Well, what if he isn't?

MULDER: I would be very surprised. What is a death omen if not a vision of our own mortality? And who among us would most likely be able to see the dead? 

this is one of the most hauntingly isolating moments of the series...he has just told her that she is going to die. and he doesn't know, that that's what he said. she is forced to process it, completely by herself. and she doesn't believe in ghosts, or "premonitions," but she knows that he is right. (when is he not?)

("maybe harold is sicker than we thought he was.")

the second moment that this episode builds to, is the final confrontation between mulder and scully. after the murder is solved. after harold dies.

SCULLY: I saw something, Mulder.

MULDER: What?

SCULLY: The fourth victim. I saw her in the bathroom before you came to tell me.

MULDER: Why didn't you tell me?

SCULLY: Because I didn't want to believe it. Because I don't want to believe it.

MULDER: Is that why you came down here, to prove that it wasn't true?

SCULLY: No, I came down here because you asked me to.

MULDER: Why can't you be honest with me?

SCULLY: (defensively) What do you want me to say? That you're right, that, that I believe it even if I don't? I mean, is that what you want?

MULDER: Is that what you think I want to hear?

SCULLY: (softly) No.

they come really...close here? to talking about it? she almost baits him several times this season. she spends so much of this arc thinking...maybe, this will be it. maybe if she fucks off on assignment, gets a tattoo with another man, he'll say it. maybe if she calls him out for never celebrating her birthday, he'll acknowledge why this is the year he did. maybe if they spend a friday night with a bottle of wine, they'll talk. maybe if she tells him, those things you believe are death omens? i saw it. he'll know.

i can't remember which one of you said that all of their arguments are just how to love each other. she doesn't want to believe. but she's there, because he has asked her to be. even in all of their repressed denial, there is no escaping what's happening. it hangs over both of them.

i love the moments in this arc where she just snaps. in this scene when she says, what do you want from me? do you want me to just believe you? and her quiet resignation, when he makes her answer her own question. no. she knows that's not what he wants.

MULDER: (his voice softens) I know what you're afraid of. I'm afraid of the same thing.

SCULLY: The doctor said I was fine.

MULDER: I hope that's the truth.

SCULLY: (whispers) I'm going home.

"i know what you're afraid of. i'm afraid of the same thing."

except, no, he doesn't. and no, they are not.

but she knows what he's afraid of, just as her therapist had known what she's afraid of ("your fear of failing him?") and so she dodges his admittance with reassurance. she's fine.

that last scene, when she goes out and cries in her car, and she sees harold's ghost in the backseat. she is so alone. she's working on her deathbed. they don't talk about it. she's afraid, and she's not fine, and she is going to "fail" him because she cannot keep herself alive for him, and she can't avoid it. it's in the backseat. it's in the bathroom mirror. it's bleeding out of her.

#here trish #txf.txt #elegy #DANA LOOK OUT!!! YOUR ELEGIES ARE EULOGIZING YOU!!!!!!!!!! #i was saying last night how much i love ‘gethsemane’ as an episode title #and i think that may be my favorite one #but i love ‘elegy’ a lot too #‘a lament for the dead’ #this whole episode is sorrow for the dead and dying #how we cannot catch up to them #and our dying girl at the center. seeing the omens. knowing what’s coming. crying alone in her car. #this show was always so so so resonant and impactful when it came to themes of grief and loss #anyway. there is no beyond the sea etc etc #also i noticed last night that scully mentions how long they've been together a lot during this arc #'in the four years i've known you' in tempus fugit #'i would think after four years' in elegy #'everything that we've done over the past four years' in reduxii #she's taking stock

[skinnypaleangryperson]

.....

#being an adult is a living hell #ive never been so unstable or so unloved in my entire life for this long with no end in sight and people are telling me im not even allowed #to be insane over it? #young me wouldn't have survived the past four years and i was at rock bottom as a kid

[spiderh0rse]

desperately populating the farmworld tag on ao3 for the next poor soul in my position (got a bit too close to the sun and now really likes farmworld finn)

#adventure time #farmworld adventure time #finn mertens #farmworld finn #i am trying my HARDEST to make some good stuff #its all self indulgent. thats how you know its good #ao3 will have my 'the crown doesnt get retconned to the bomb and finn runs a very slow version of simon's decent over the years' and they #will LIKE IT #or probably brush past it. i'll get a couple kudos. maybe a comment four years later #thanks future commenter

[oocmadagascar]

#last ooc... of 2023.. </3 #that rhymed #I've written that joke FOUR TIMES NOW!!! #hi yes me over here past oocmadagascar your past my present oocmadagascar it's the 24th of december when I'm scheduling this #and FAILING #cause I reached my SCHEDULE LIMIT #but I'm trying to find loopholes bc I have the motivation to do this NOW DAMMIT AND THIS IS THE ONLY POST. I HAVE YET TO DO #just let me finish scheduling the month... pls... #let me finish... the year .... #lying on the floor reaches out to tumblr weakly #tumblr ignores me #i die #anyway what #HAPPY NEW YEARS MAKE IT A GOOD ONE #please let this one work #if it doesn't work I'll ermmm never post again #madagascar #all hail king julien #ahkj #madagascar movie #penguins of madagascar #tpom #king julien #dreamworks #dreamworks animation #animation #animated movie #ooc madagascar #(it worked)

[queen-scribbles]

Oh yeah, btw, I did definitely get the one temporary part-time job. It's not much, but it's something.

And the timeline for the other thing got a bit more urgent, so I'm gonna call about that later today or tomorrow to see if me doing part time around the other gig is something workable. (Especially since the first one's only until the end of the school year)

#queen rambles #the second thing's a lady my sister used to nanny for #wasn't a good career fit for her but was a nice family so she passed me the mom's contact info #this lady's asked about me three or four times over the past couple years but i was employed. :) #at least--HUGE HELP--i barely owe anything for taxes this year #actually got a federal refund but i owe for state so the refund's just gonna help cover that #that's a massive stressor gone

[theresa-of-liechtenstein]

browsing through previously submitted honors capstone papers and came across the JUICIEST one talking about how my current institution is overlooked in funding because of the area and its perception as 'less prestigious' which is more cemented by being underfunded and how it all stems from systemic racism... whoever decided to investigate this i want to kiss you on the Mouth!

#it's sooo crazyy how much my mentality has changed over the past four years #prestige is shit when your school was institutionally endowed from the getgo because it was founded in the middle of a network of prosperit #im so proud to be among so many people who are the first in their families to be educated #im so proud to help students who never thought they'd get to college

[ruegarding]

(hi this is aroaceleovaldez it's a sideblog so i cant send asks from it hrg) a.) always love seeing your tags on my posts lol you have very good opinions [handshake emoji] b.) i'll be honest i wasn't even thinking about the awful pjo wwii stuff when i made that post i was thinking about the new, *different* antisemitism from TOA. of which there is. even more somehow. 😬 also fun fact Rick saying Reyna is allo-ace-coded on twitter might have actually semi been directly because of me, because he said that within like 2 hours and 2 tweets of replying to an open letter i wrote where i literally said that the way he wrote Reyna in Tyrant's Tomb falls into aphobic tropes and Isn't Great. despite replying to it i dont think he actually read it, lol. he then almost immediately left twitter for like 4 years and he also has since deleted his reply. fascinating stuff, truly.

anyways please excuse me digging through your hazel tag cause i am constantly dying trying to find hazel-focused fanart and you have one of the few good hazel tags i've been able to find. picture me scurrying away like some sort of small creature here.

hi thank u!! i appreciate your posts abt disabilities/ableism especially bc it's such an integral part of the story and a lens that gets lost despite that

i'll be honest, i haven't read toa (only short snippets when i want to see a specific scene), so i just read this article abt it, and it's frustrating that almost every example of diversity rick includes is riddled w harmful stereotypes. like, google is right there to help you avoid at least some! (psa to anyone else reading this, google "harmful [x] stereotypes" before making a character you're unfamiliar with!) the wwii stuff...rereading the series again like two years ago shocked me bc i had completely erased the entire plotline from my memory as a kid. some of these choices have me questioning the editors at the time, bc there were definitely things an editor should've pointed out if they were reading the full text.

your power! lmao but that behavior is exactly what makes it so difficult to give rick real feedback. i know some fans claim the older fandom is too cynical, but if we've been trying to give the same advice for years it's going to get old fast. every good change is accompanied by something else (especially noticeable in how percy is treated), so it always feels double-edged. but i'm glad you said this actually bc i didn't know he specified allo-ace! i had assumed he said aro-ace, but that actually makes the way ppl behave abt lesbians identifying w reyna more alarming...regardless i'm glad he's including ace rep bc it's rare, but the way reyna and the hunters were handled is...confusing at best.

please enjoy! i love hazel sm and i recently just went thru someone else's blog and queued a bunch of posts in a very similar fashion lol

#yeah i'm a fraud i haven't finished boo and the only thing past boo i've read is cotg #and that's bc it's short and i got it for free thank u elías :3 #also i didn't know rick left twitter for four years that is so funny LMAO #i can't imagine being on twitter as someone famous tho i get stressed enough w this blog #anyway it is very frustrating when aro/ace identities get erased in favor of shipping so i definitely understand why ppl are #so defensive over reyna/the hunters but. still not a great situation here #ending this now bc i'm rambling #rr crit #answered

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

.

#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work #blocked it all out #my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer #breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries #they just diagnosed her two weeks ago #so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends #because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well #but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work #on top of my fulltime #which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it #but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this #for the coming four months at least #so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT. #i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes #then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe? #which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week #which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc #i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer #came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry #but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat #bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.” #“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.” #and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually #but seeing her anger made me see my own anger #and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic #i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more #so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise #doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal #and i am not joking #so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back

[lieutenantselnia]

Ahhg there are so many ideas inside my head but it takes so much time to draw/write them out ._.

#it probably wouldn't be that bad if my thesis and the upcoming semester project weren't constantly looming over me bc it stresses me out #there's one meme redraw in particular that I've been dying to draw for months and I STILL haven't been able to do it #even though it's actually one of my favourite art ideas I've had during the past year #(featuring Davy - and not to spoiler too much but Maccus will most likely have his debut in my art :D) #I wish I could draw like four things at once #rant #vent? ish? #not really but whatever

[weirdfishy]

headcanon/AU where morpheus only went and visited hob bc hob dreamed of him — like death convinced him to go see him, but he didn’t know when he should go, and the longer he stewed the more he thought hob was probably done with him. but then hob unknowingly drew morpheus into his dream where they were talking and laughing like proper friends (or, alternatively, hob had morpheus pressed against a wall) so dream was like yay he doesn’t hate me let’s go visit him :)

#inspo’d by umikochannart’s recent instagram post abt these fools #lmao dream being all hop skip happy & like ‘he returns my feelings!!’ only for hob to be The Same & Just Friendly #despite the fact that he Just Had Dream Against A Wall Six Hours Ago #hob doesn’t know his stranger Was Actually There & he kinda brushes over the details of who dream is bc he’s just happy dream is back so is #talking abt the last 133 years as per usual #hob just kinda figured that Dream or Morpheus isn’t the weirdest name he’s heard some of his students names r more bizarre than an old gods #who the hell is he to judge he’s just been uncreative these past centuries next time he has to move he’s gonna name himself after a flower #anyway hob is chattering on & dream is just like. Why is he acting so Normal like he wasn’t kissing me senseless earlier What The Fuck #humans are StrangeTM #dream has to interrupt him and idk maybe he just gets up and kisses him or does the slow thing and #explains to hob who exactly he is and what his powers entail #fishy’s bubbles #dreamling #is there a fic like this in my future? yeah probably #once i get done with whatever i can get done for whumptober. i’ve got two more of the four i wanted to do #The Muse has spoken and when this post hits @ least 177 notes i’ll start writing this

[inundatae]

I do think a lot about how a creature that's 500 years old can remain so stagnant for centuries. That it takes until now for Neuvillette to start... slowly developing some personal growth. Not quite there, but taking those small steps towards something.

Simply to me, five hundred years is a very, very long time for someone to remain the same. But it's hard for me to grasp the idea that for an immortal being that their concept of time is different. Perhaps five hundred years passes in a blink of an eye to him. And Neuvillette is very much a creature of habit. If he refuses to allow himself to form personal attachment, rarely travels beyond his home and his work, then where would the opportunities be for him to change?

And honestly, it's so interesting to think of the brief glimpses of Neuvillette in the flashbacks, who is a lot more... open with his emotions. And it's seemingly the one and only time he's openly called someone a friend. Losing Carole, having to sit there and preside over Vautrin's hearing and then personally having to send him to prison, having the last words he hears of the person closest to him be full of hate. He's been paralyzed for so long and had no one. And to think of all the other acquaintances that he might have been friendly with too, his staff and such who slowly over time began to disappear from his life due to natural consequences. No wonder the only people he keeps close ties with are fellow immortal beings as well.

#❛ㅤ⚜ㅤㅤㅤ✦ㅤ:ㅤwords surge and releaseㅤㅤ◟ㅤstudyㅤ◝ #the ramblings of someone who's watched THAT cutscene one too many times #and is just... fighting off this god damn viral plague that's got me by the throat #but i am so honestly fascinated by the neuvillette of four hundred years ago #and his first experiences of living with humanity #and all the loss he had go through during those early years #if each trial he's presided over has left it's mark on him #god damn what were those early years like for him #god damn i get so emotional thinking of neuvillette carrying that guilt that ate away at him for four hundred years #when he had to send his closest friend to meropide #and then he looks at traveler and paimon and wriothesley and sigewinne #and see all those echoes of the past #lies in a puddle of my own tears

[gollancz]

I might not be at Gollanczfest, but I am mitigating my FOMO with baby cuddles and DAMSEL. Been waiting for this since the book came out last year, and it's just a beautiful as the novel. Loving the production design!

#Damsel #Evelyn Skye #Damsel Netflix #Millie Bobby Brown #Dragons all over the shop #My baby was born in the year of the Dragon #She held out past Lunar New Year #And now people keep getting her toy dragons and I am LIVING FOR IT #She's got like four already #Personal Branding is important #Fairy tales #Dragons #Robin Wright #Angela Bassett #Two absolute legends also

[eddis-not-eeddis]

Okay, but how hard is it to just.

Not.

Write a love-triangle.

It cannot possibly be that hard.

#i'm going through my shelves and weeding out the good from the bad starting with the books that i suspect are not so good #and if there is a love triangle is immediately goes in the box #i am too tired for this #(i bought a LOT of books at book fairs over the past three years) #and even though i typically read 50-100 books a year #when i buy 300 every book sale #there is no way to make it through them all #i must cull #starting with triangles #(i've even found some squares) #(one might have been a hexagon but i stopped skimming when the third dude arrived on scene) #good grief #most girls struggle to net even one man #and here are all of these heroines barely able to beat off entire hordes with broom-sticks #it's being laid on a bit thick when there are three+ gents hanging around #i'm just saying #at that point i think all four+ people involved need to have a sit-down and reevaluate life choices #the problem with these books is a lot of them are vintage and i bought them based on title and prettiness since they have no blurbs #i've found a few truly wonderful treasures #but most are mediocre at best #and a few have been absolutely tragically awful

[calliopechild]

*kicks in door as tiredly as possible* Hello friends, guess who survived her move?

Also, callout post for past me thinking I'd be ready to go back to work tomorrow. The idea of going back to work in the morning feels like a hate crime.

#i've been functioning SO executively and it's exhausting #so many decisions. so many phone calls and utility things to handle #just finally got internet set up today and that took over TWO FUCKING HOURS #none of which has been helped by sleeping like shit for the past uh...four nights #first bc of pre-move anxiety and then bc of new place adjustment and one of my pillows not surviving 2 years in storage #anyway i have wifi again so your respite from me clogging your dashes is over