#our neurotic chihuahua

[theparadigmshifts]

eddie kaspbrak forever

#sorry #aj was tweeting about him and i miss him #our neurotic chihuahua #itch2 #eddie kaspbrak

[aljeensane]

“My name is Mr. Hands, First Mate Hands, or God, as far as you're concerned.

posting this here too just because

reference pic used from: @/tatsumura_jisai on twt

#ofmd #izzy hands #izzy #our flag means death #fanart #idk lmao #this is #istg idk why i made this #izzy is a neurotic chihuahua

[steorransaluki]

Who is this Bambi bitch that Finch is obsessed with?

LMAOOO she's my grandma's lil chihuahuaish rescue mutt!

#talking #asks #she's our dear little neurotic covid puppy #she dna tested her and she came back as 60/30 Chihuahua/doxie with 10% super mutt #so take that as you will

[orcelito]

I hate having to make decisions about peoples' lives 😭 me straight up having the power in my hands to affect who has a job with us, like. Fuck, man. I don't like it

#speculation nation #IM just a neurotic chihuahua who gave me the right to decide peoples' fates like this lmao #well i did. by being here so long. & my boss did by entrusting this to me. #but stiiiiill i hate it lol. i keep flipping back and forth #i think i do wanna do dbz dude bc barista lady does have a job already & is leaving in half a year #& i hope dbz dude can mesh well into our store's culture #he has more brand loyalty than this lady to start with. says he loves our tea. while shes never even had bubble tea before. #which ya kno isnt a huge deal but in the matter of retention we'll be more likely to keep someone who cares about here specifically #(see: me. who in very large part is still here only for the unlimited free bubble tea lmfao) #omfg the girl who came in yesterday for her paperwork seemed SO fucking happy when i offered her a drink #like YEA GIRL. WE GET FREE DRINKS!!!! lmao one of the Best parts about working here. #ughhhh i gotta send out the offer. dbz dude i hope you dont disappoint #not sending any rejects until i have a confirmation from these 2 but once they're in. then i will let the others know #i know it's typical for stores to just say theyre rejected or not say anything at all. but i wonder if i could tell them why #customize the rejection messages to maybe soften the blow??? idk going by a template just feels so impersonal #like i met and talked to all of these people. theyre Real People. & id like to respect that. #i feel so sad for the sweet girl 😭 im gonna try to be nice about it with her...

[acreaturecalledgreed]

u ever think about how the dog breed that was specifically bred SOLELY to be our little friends who love us and nothing else has the reputation for being "evil" and awful and its entirely b/c so many of their owners don't respect their boundaries at all until they become so neurotic and terrified all the time that it results in "bad" behavior

i am so sad about chihuahuas, man

#theyre very good dogs #yall are just mean #literally b/c the reason so many are fucked up is b/c theyre not treated great

[monster42069]

I understand that I’m high, and it’s 6AM. But is there simply a lack of people talking about the social phenomenon of housewives becoming isolated with age, or is my mother somehow a special case because of her circumstances?

It made my mother out to look like a cruel villain the way I spoke about her reaction and behaviors about our family dog dying, but the thing is that my mother is an incredibly isolated and lonely woman. I’ve mentioned that my relationship with her is frightening and confusing from the codependency and type of psychological and financial abuse that centers around control and autonomy, and how it’s weird that she feels like my only real friend who understands me and whom I can talk to the easiest and the only person in the world I feel hopeless against and terrified of and would never trust.

She was always obsessed with me and depending on me in some way. That and I had the same anxiety disorders that she got after her baby died. It was bad enough to earn violent resentment from my siblings. She talked about me a lot to people. I couldn’t tell when she was bragging or demeaning me. My father started to hate me for the same reasons as my sisters. My mother started to expect me to take a step past having enough in common to be her favorite, and I was now expected to be a second version of her to take over the roles my father wasn’t taking care of with my sisters and the house. I was expected to be smart enough to be trusted with the parts of parenting she and my father couldn’t or didn’t want to teach to my older sisters. Communicating for others became normal. Then spying was added.

…👁️👁️ sometimes I think about how she’s acting about the dog passing away. And I wonder if I’m the same as the dogs we’ve had that she monopolized because she was always home alone with them. Our chihuahua, CoCo, died almost 5 years ago now. I think about how my mother goes through the same phrases with them all and how the phrases are always lies. She does forget about them. She does stop feeling sad about it. She does move on. She does replace them. She always says her replacement is better and that it helps her more. She ends up saying she was glad they died. And I wonder if it’s all the same with me even though that’s childish.

I know she’s lonely and is scared of having no one to depend on. I know she partly views me as a friend to depend on. But I’m always hoping to God that it’s psychosis and my mother would never actually be how she makes me feel a lot of the times. She scares me. I worry so much about her, and it scares me because it doesn’t make sense. I feel like my brain is just an accumulation of her telling me who I am and what I think the same way she spoke for me excitedly while family would visit when I was a kid.

But anyway there does seem to be a problem with isolated housewives in general. Outside of my neurotic mother.

#… #🎭👸🏻

[undeadhousewife]

Trying not to be a control freak but my man is doing our taxes this year and I am barely containing myself from taking over. I've done our taxes for decades before I had my nervous breakdown and he keeps coming to me with questions. I am hitting high alert neurotic Chihuahua mode.

[ashestoashesjc]

One could compile an exhaustive, mile-long list of all the things a coffee table should not do. It shouldn’t cook your dinner for you or offer its psychoanalytical expertise. It shouldn’t change colors on a whim or be a chair. Really, I could go on. But, as is most relevant to us at this particular moment, a coffee table should not, barring some localized tectonic unease, gyrate. Shimmy and jostle and knock about. It’s just not right. 

I look over to Sylie, my Sylvie, who is doing a commendable job of ignoring the four legs clattering neurotically, chihuahua-like, against the hardwood. She flips a page of last month’s Reader’s Digest, elegantly falsely absorbed. 

“Are you doing that?” I ask. 

Sylvie lowers the book, sighs lightly, passes me a worn, resigned look. “You know I’m not. Are you?”

“No.” We forgot to turn off the television in the kitchen and the muted jingle jangle of a detergent commercial seeps through the walls. “Are you sure you aren’t?”

“I think I’d notice.” 

The table goes on rocking. It looks to be preparing to shoot off into a gallop. I picture a race, a starting line of excitable Ikea furniture, straddled by jockeys in bright yellow polos, declaring in bold lettering: “Hej!”

Then there’s the playpen.

Neither of us dares acknowledge the playpen. What lies inside. As if the act of pretending not to have made it might unmake it. Then the child, our child, babbles existentially and rattles its rattle and the coffee table trembles and the illusion dissolves.

“Well, he didn’t get it from my side of the family.” 

#s

[judithbutlersdealer]

i wish i could say more about stuff on here without doxxing myself completely but oh well. anyways recap of the past few months. i started my masters in redacted at redacted (not to be this person but both redacteds here are a BIG DEAL) and i’m probably going to publish something at other redacted (also BIG DEAL) soon. my flatmate/former bsf royally fucked me over and successfully fucked me out of our flat in the middle of our contract so i moved into my gf and mutual friend’s flat. i spent most of the summer with my family and two days after i came back my childhood dog aka literal human-grade best friend died out of the blue. read a lot of joan didion rachel cusk and julia turshen cookbooks to cope. discovered there is a new farmer’s market in our neighborhood. me and my gf got into making bread and it’s hella good. i’m making friends with cool people at uni. the badminton club i wanted to join at redacted is a hotbed of insanity so i didnt join so now i’m gonna have to start running again so i can contain some of my neurotic chihuahua qualities through exercise. uh what else. i dyed my hair purple during the summer and it’s faded from all the sun and seawater and i was going to get it cut and dyed blonde but according to multiple people it’s cool so i think i’m leaving it. okay cool nice to be back 

[chuckchilling]

i got some shitty mobile ad for (genuinely dont even know the product but i assume some kind of an app) that promised to help you "BECOME THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON IN THE ROOM" and once my derision had passed i felt sad that they were preying so cheaply on our loneliness and desire just to be liked, and listened to. in terms of exploiting vulnerabilities, it's a growth sector ; we are all such little fishies in a big big pond drowning in such depthless water all it does is stay black, and glassy, and throw our reflections back at us. it is nice to be connected to the world and all its knowledge but the ego quails before it. i mean we get our egos shattered before breakfast every morning and spend the time until lunch trying to become a person again and spend lunch manifesting that vision (the ego, your face, carefully immortalized just so and plastered in the public square in a casual bid at justifying your existence) and of course there is always someone doing it better, which feels like you might as well be doing it wrong; you have no frame of reference and no-where to go to get one (touch grass? can i justify that? is time well-spent? would it make me more interesting? would you like me, if i did it?) and all that neurotic self-obsession has you shaking like a chihuahua (even at rest they fucking shiver) — all the time, and anyway, I think it's pretty gross of companies to exploit that just to give you a gambling addiction or something 

#txt

[foucaults-trebuchet]

draft: what are we to animals

earlier today a roommate woke me up to deal with a baby mouse that had wandered into his basement room. he was super fuckin neurotic about it, trying to logically exhaustively check every area the mouse could have gone. i crawled under the bed and tried to hold and calm it, but he subsequently shoved both of us with a broom and scared it away.

i tried to describe to my roommate how to think like a mouse. mammals all share this basic framework of psychology, we can all understand each other if we try. for a young mouse you have to understand a few basic alterations of the terror of being alive:

- prey animals cannot see the world as a picture like predator animals can, their retinas are adapted to perceive motion, they see in the first derivative - a young mammal has no ability to perceive the their environment in detail, like a toddler they see sounds and visual stimuli with no clear rules to bind them together, they need more experience to learn rules of this kind - rodents cannot perform second-order reasoning, and a mouse fundamentally cannot decide to make new hiding spaces to taunt you - prey animals have very high baseline anxiety and seek any source of calm slow motion they can find

this of course did no good. you can't teach men anything. but it made me think a lot more about how these intuitive skills hint at our ability to imagine other intelligences. we can deeply empathize with a lot more than just other humans, and anyone who claims we cannot is just an asshole. we can understand the internal psychological experience of other mammals we would usually consider lesser, like dogs, and we can also understand the experiences of mammals we would (or should) consider greater, like sperm whales. we are not unique in this respect. the canines and cetaceans can understand us too. not just that, they can develop cross-species languages and rituals to communicate with us.

in the braindead american eugenics inspired discourse on intelligence we tend to think it is impossible to have both an idea of being "more intelligent" and "mutually intelligable" as ways to talk about the interaction between two different patterns of cognition. according to traditional wisdom, a species that is more intelligent should possess concepts that a lesser species cannot comprehend. this does not seem to be how it works in practice, mammals share a fundamental set of concepts and reactions that can be used to communicate across species lines. there are things that we do not share with small rodents but when we start to define the boundaries of any specific aspect of human cognition we are forced to recognized we are not unique.

i have a chihuahua. people make fun of me for being the blond bitch with the tiny la dog. until they spend time with the dog. i trained her like a hunting dog and she devotes all of her 9cm^3 brain to developing social protocols and collaborating with the people around her. she's currently mad at me for leaving her alone too often and she has started staging protests where she grabs someone's attention and then pretends to die. she wandered out onto the street without a leash a few months back, and then returned after conning another family to pay for her rabies vaccine booster and becoming a short-lived instagram meme. she's also a fucking idiot. she can't figure out how to walk on wood floors and she has absolutely no idea how to interact with other dogs.

i shaped the dog's intelligence in an unusual direction for an animal of her size and position in inter-species society, but it turns out that 9cm^3 brain is perfectly capable of understanding human emotional reactions instead of other dog's responses. she has an extremely limited capacity to reason about theory of mind but it doesn't matter. we actually aren't very complicated and our emotional responses immediately follow from our environment. even our long-term plans and emotional priorities can be extropolated from our facial expressions in most cases. are you going to divorce your husband? my dog can tell you.

there are vectors of intelligences, different directions in which we can use our capactities to specialize. for a "lesser" species like canines we know they have different vectors of intelligence too. we know they are not foreign and can empathize us even though we are "greater". what makes us greater then? we can do a lot of philosophical faffing about but it's just the cubic area of the mammal brain dedicated to environmental perception and intuitive reasoning. the canine anterior cingulate cortex is fucking tiny and the hippocampus barely even exists. as primates we have an enhanced ability to be caught in our own heads because we have thousands of extra layers of processing abstract information when it has no direct relationship to the world. we also specialize ourselves into our own vectors of intelligence but the dimensionality of human specialization is so high it is more convenient to deny its existence and think about iq scores.

looming in the future is a wake-up call. 50 years the most transformative moment in society will not be the development of artificial intelligence, or the discovery of extraterrestrials, or even the moment that humanity establishes itself as multiplanetary. it will be the decoding of whalesong. we now know with strong confidence that the only difference between our primate brains and other mammal brains is the volume of different cortical structures. we also know there are other species with much larger brains that possess language and complex grammer that we struggle to understand. there are existing species on earth that are "greater" than us and even evaded us killing them by hiding in places we didn't have the ability to explore. they are smarter than us.

but we can still empathize with them. sperm whales have lived for milleniea in a world we only just invented. everything they travels across half the world and is heard by every member of their species. they propogate patterns of their grammar on a totally global scale, regardless of their location they understand how to phrase a statement so that it follows the patterns of the wider community. they cannot open their mouths without engaging with their own sphere of memes even for short-form statements. they live *inside* of twitter.

there is currently a project to decode whalesong into a human-comprehensible grammar but it may be necessary to rely on artificial intelligence to assist us in the translation. we can empathize with the whales, but we cannot currently speak to them and it is very possible that their grammars are just more complex than ours, similar to how my writing is more complex than my dog's performance art. i will not comment on what the consequences of talking to a higher species will be, because i cannot even hope to comprehend.

it is worth noting that everything here is just about mammals. our own branch of life and close ancestors. who the fuck knows what birds are thinking

[hey-there-hunter]

Izzy Hands being like

#our flag means death #ofmd #steddy hands #lucius/izzy #izzy hands #israel hands #this neurotic Chihuahua has no idea how to flirt #years ago ed was like go hit on that guy #i can see you like him #and izzy was like ok and went to slap the shit out of that guy

[sevenspoonfulsofsugar]

man these spot the difference games keep getting harder

#our flag means death #ofmd #except stede's more of a golden retriever #and izzy's an extremely neurotic chihuahua who's just itching to bite the next person that gets too close to him #izzy hands #stede bonnet #my screenshots

[bee-ships]

Day 6 - bickering // omg look at my bestie she's so tall we love bickering <3

#FINALLY drew vanessa I'm so happy i love her so much #i am obsessed w our dynamic name a more iconic duo #p: vanessa gottlieb #s/i: bianca cabrera #platonic selfship #selfshiptober #selfshiptober 2021 #vanessa looking at a stressed bianca: what this neurotic chihuahua doing here #sship.png #plat.png

[marta-bee]

I got to see Venom 2 tonight, and let me just say: You remember that post that said we do not need plot or meaning or sense, etc., but just Tom Hardy running around like the neurotic chihuahua he is?

1) They were right, apparently.

2) We get that in spades, and it’s blessed sufficient glorious splendor.

3) All the critics saying the movie is a hot mess not worth our time? They don’t speak for us, or even (it would seem) get us. Or Venom.

Seriously: go see the thing, immediately and as often as possible. If you can enter in with the right kind of expectations, I think you’ll have a good belly-laugh and end up cheering them all on.

#marvel #venom #are there spoilers here? #i think this is general enough but i've got that line wrong in the past

[autisticandroids]

so one interesting thing about me is that i'm an extremely laid back person, but that doesn't come naturally to me. in middle school, when i took a test, i was the most type a person in the classroom. close friends who have known me for a long time are sure to witness at least one occasion on which i snap back to my natural, tightly wound and controlling and anxious ways. i'm laid-back because i choose to be. partly this is because being super tightly wound all the time is super exhausting and unpleasant and makes me really unhappy. partly because i'm like, mildly depressed, and have been since high schoool, which is really good at tamping down those emotions. but also it's an ethical choice for me, which is something that i've never really heard anyone talk about. like, i grew up with a father who is incredibly tightly wound and it makes him a real dick to everyone around him. any time anything goes slightly not according to his expectations, or takes a little bit too long, or is too far outside his comfort zone, he has a massive, screaming meltdown and takes it out on everyone around him, making my and my mom's life hell. like, almost every night, my mom struggles to find something for us to watch on our roku tv thingy, because she's kind of bad at operating it, and it's a coin flip as to whether my dad will get so frustrated that he will scream and swear at her because she's delaying a tv show by 30 seconds by being bad at the tv. i actually love traveling, but as a child i used to dread it, because my dad, forced to be out of the house for long stretches which he can't deal with and also like. forced to travel. which is inherently pretty stressful if you're not prepared to roll with the punches, would be fuming with rage the whole time (no matter how much he was theoretically excited for the trip) and one wrong move could set him off. he's in general a very high stress person, he has the cortisol levels of a chihuahua and is rigid, anxious, controlling, and impatient. and he makes the lives of people around him a lot worse by fully indulging those traits. so i've spent a lot of my life trying to become like... the kind of person who would never act like that. and i've actually succeeded pretty well, to the extent where i am just genuinely less neurotic about a lot of stuff instead of like. forcing myself not to act neurotic. and i was just like... contemplating this this morning, for two reasons. the first is that i never see like, becoming a calmer, more laid-back person presented as an ethical goal, really. maybe in terms of a mental health goal, but not in terms of like... a treating other people better goal. which suggests my experience may be kinda rare. the second is that while the reason i've done this was like, genuine moral reasoning that i didn't want to have certain types of negative effects on people's lives, it's also incredibly validating, because it's like... proof. proof that my dad could just Not Act Like That. proof that he's making a choice, you know?

#parents cw