#or the skipping scenes really is true lol

[princessofmarvel]

Don't Blame Me

Summary | You act impulsively, getting yourself hurt in the process, and Joel freaks out because you did it to protect him.

Pairing | Joel Miller x fem!reader

Word Count | 2.72k

Genre | Angsty but mostly fluff!

Warnings! | Slight smut! (Not really, but sex is implied lol) Ellie giving you two hell, fighting, reader gets hurt, shitty fight scene, probably some inaccuracy not proof read lol.

Authors note! | Hi you guys! It's been so long since I've written something, but I'm back! I am kind of nervous about this one since it has been so long since I have written anything lol, But I hope that you guy's enjoy it! This is the start of my "Swift series", Where I write fics based on Taylor Swift songs. I will link it here once I have everything up about requesting and characters that I will be writing for! Feedback is always appreciated! And as always, I do I have really bad OCD that causes me to write in some random capitalization, and punctuation, But I think that we don't have to worry about that in this fic lol. And let me know if there are any mistakes, but please be kind!

  “What the hell were you thinking?” Joel questioned you as you, Joel, and Ellie all walked into the cabin that didn’t belong to any of you. He was pissed, but you couldn’t think about even answering his question right now, not when the gash on your side was bleeding, and hurting to the point of giving you a slight limp.

  “Now’s not a good time Joel, If you haven’t noticed, I have something that needs cleaning.” You said trying to ignore him, and find a safety kit, or even just some water and a cloth. 

“Yeah, you wouldn’t need to clean anything if you hadn’t been so reckless.” He practically shouted at you from across the room, causing you to roll your eyes. 

  “Joel, she was just helping you, if she hadn't done anything you could be dead right now.” Ellie interjected, trying to calm down Joel, when all it really did was the opposite. 

  “Ellie, go to your room.” Joel said, sounding like a true father, as you turned the sink on and running a cloth underneath the water, shocked that there was any. 

  “What- We don’t live here Joel!” Ellie argued, “I don’t care, just find a room and go in it.” Joel argued back, not caring that he really wasn’t making any sense at the moment. 

  Ellie sighed before wishing you ‘Good luck’ as she grabbed her backpack and made her way up the stairs to find a bedroom to go in, at least maybe she could get some rest because you knew that you were in for an earful before you could even think about resting. 

  Joel was so pissed he was basically seeing red. You knew better, or at least he thought that you did to not put yourself in harm's way like that. He knew that living in this world that some things were just bound to happen, but not because you were being reckless.

“Wake me up!, before you go go, don’t leave me hanging on, like a yo-yo!” Sang Ellie and you while walking through the woods on your way to a cabin that Joel happened to know about. Ellie decided to start skipping around Joel as the two of you sang, trying to annoy Joel, or at least get him to join in. Whichever came first. 

  “Oh come on Joel!, We know you know the words, I mean look at you!” Said Ellie while laughing. 

  “Ha ha.” Joel responded in his typical monotone voice. 

  “You know Joel, It won’t kill you to liven up a little-” You started to say before you were cut off by the sound of a twig snapping. A snap that did not come from any of you.

  The next thing you see is not one, not two, not three, but four  infected, two close to you, one close to Ellie and one close to Joel with Ellie in between you two. They had to be newly infected to be out here, considering there were no other ones around. Your two started walking towards you, being further away than the other ones, but you were focused on the one closest to Ellie, putting two bullets in that one before you heard the two closest to you getting a little too close. You turned around fast enough to get 2 more bullets into one of them. But when you went to shoot the next one, you were out. It started getting closer, but was far enough for you to get the small ax out of your backpack. You went to hit it, but it fell to the ground from another bullet, one of Joels. 

  Joel was turned towards you now, not able to see the one coming up from behind him. You acted on pure impulse and charged at it with your ax, taking its head off in one clean slate since it was so newly infected, it wasn’t too hard. But in your act of heroism, you tripped and fell onto a sharp rock, cutting your side. Making you end up here, with an ungrateful and grumpy Joel. 

“Hand it over.” Joel suddenly said while pulling up a chair next to the one that you set in. 

“If you are going to just sit there and scold me the entire time, I would rather do it myself.” You said, almost being interrupted from wincing. He grabbed the cloth from your hand while you held the side of your shirt up. The two of you sat in silence while he cleaned the wound. You just looked at him, taking in his features. He looked so focused, like if he made one wrong move you would break. You found it sweet how he was helping you, until he started talking again. 

“You know, you’re lucky to be alive, that could have killed you.”

 “No, you’re the one that’s lucky to be alive.” You said to him, making him roll his eyes as he finished wrapping up your cut. He stood up, with his hands in fist. It infuriated you, you saved his life and all he could do was gripe about it. 

  “If I didn’t cut it’s head off fast enough, you could be dead right now Joel, One stupid cut is not the end of the world.” You yelled at him while standing up. He’s never seen you this angry, especially not with him. The two of you typically had an understanding, Protect Ellie, and don’t die while doing it. Yes, the two of you talked when you had the chance, You even made him laugh a few times (Counting the times when his ‘Laugh’ was just the side of his mouth turning upwards). But you never got this angry at each other. 

“Yeah, and if you hadn’t made just the right cut at just the right time, you could be dead right now Y/n, Why don’t you realize that, you can’t be impulsive like that.” He said to you with his back turned to you, washing his hands. 

“But, I’m not Joel, I’m not dead, I’m right here, Everything's okay,  Everyone’s alive Joel!” You yelled back at him, with his back still turned. 

“Ellie needs you more than she needs me, when the situation calls for it you put your life before mine you hear me?” He asks you, both hands on each side of the sink and looking down. 

“And, watch something happen to you? You want me to just sit around and do absolutely nothing if you’re in danger?” 

“It’s not about me-” 

“Look at me when you’re talking to me Joel!” You yelled at him, causing him to finally look at you. When he turned, you couldn’t tell what he was feeling. 

“Joel, I’m okay, I’m fine. It’s just a little cut.”  You said to him. Not knowing how he would react, his face was expressionless.  

“But it was almost worse.” He said walking closer to you, he stopped once he got close to your face. “I don’t want to lose someone I care about again.” 

“Joel, what is this about-” You asked, but you couldn’t get the question out completely, before both of his hands were placed on each side of your face, pulling you in and pressing his lips to yours. 

The kiss was rough and almost demanding. It was like if he let go you would somehow go away. Once the shock set in, you finally kissed him back, lips moving in perfect rhythm with him. His hands found their way to your waist while yours found their way to the back of his neck. It was pure bliss, but then he pulled away. 

“You think we should move this to a bedroom, sweetheart?” He asked, lips starting to trail down your neck. The small yes that he heard from you next was all that he needed to lead you into the closest one. 

The next morning you woke up, alone. It only freaked you out for a moment, until you heard the voices coming from the kitchen. While you were getting dressed, you heard Ellie say something that caught your ear.

“I told you to say something!” Ellie said to Joel while eating what he decided to prepare that morning. You could smell the food and it actually smelled good, which meant that whoever Joel knows that owns this place, keeps it stocked up. “You were always denying it, but I knew you were in love with her!” 

“Ellie, hush and eat your food.” Joel said, turning around from making you a plate to have as you walked in. “Mornin’” He said, making eye contact with you, a sight smile coming to the mans face. 

“Morning.” You said, sitting next to Ellie, as Joel slid you your plate. “You didn’t have to, I can make my own plate.” You said  smiling at him. 

“Yes he does, that's the least he can do after last night.” Ellie said laughing as you went wide eyed and Joel glared at her. You thought, based on the part of their conversation that you heard, that maybe Joel had just told her that you two had finally gotten together. You didn’t know that she knew what had happened last night. 

“She’s been giving me shit all morning.” Joel said, turned around making his own plate now. 

“It’s not my fault you two are so fucking loud, You know how hard it was to fall asleep last night?” Ellie said while taking a bite of her food. 

“You were all the way upstairs, how did you even hear anything?” You turned to her and asked. 

“She was probably scrummagin’ through the kitchen like a damn racoon.” Joel said sitting down across from the two of you causing Ellie to scoff. 

“Um no, I was down here looking for the bathroom and heard things that will  haunt my nightmares for years.” Ellie said while cringing. “Is that what made you go crazy and attack an infected with a fucking ax?” Ellie asked you, causing Joel to pause and look at you while waiting for your answer. 

“Yep” You answered before looking back down at your food. 

“So it’s your fault I had to hear all of that?” Ellie said accusingly. 

“Um no, don’t blame me for this, Joel initiated it.” You said while taking your plate back into the kitchen.

“Damn Joel, I didn’t know you had it in you.” Ellie said while Joel got up to take his plate back too. 

“Ellie, stop talking and finish your food, we need to get back on the road.” He said as he washed his plate off, taking yours from you to do the same. 

You were afraid of things being awkward since you hadn’t clarified anything with Joel yet and it was already an hour later. But as you got out of the shower, Joel was sitting on the bed, facing the bathroom door as you walked out dressed for the day, with a towel in your hand. 

“What? Are you wanting me to hurry up that bad? Are you that eager to get back on the road Joel?” You asked while drying your hair with the towel. 

“I just wanted to see you, without Ellie around to make jokes before we left.” Joel said while standing up and walking towards you “I just wanted to make sure that you knew that I wasn’t just using you last night, because I do like you Y/n” He said while wrapping his arms around you. 

“I like you too, Joel.” You said, placing your hands on his shoulders. 

“Just don’t let that make you crazy and attack another infected without a decent weapon again, Okay?” He said looking you in the eyes. 

“As if you wouldn’t do the same for me, Miller.” You said, smiling up at him. He knew he could trust you to take care of yourself, he also knew that you were right. He would do anything to protect Ellie and you. 

“Yeah yeah.” He said leaning down to kiss you before exiting the room with you. 

“Thank god you two were quieter that time.” Ellie said while picking up her bag.

“Ellie, get your mind out of the gutter and let’s go.” Joel said opening the door, ushering you two out. 

“We are never going to live this down are we?” You said to Joel as you walked out, but Ellie answered before he could.

“Nope!”

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[lilyrachelcassidy]

Birthday Buzz

Mattheo Riddle x Reader 

A/N: hi! loving your feedback and constructive criticism, so if you feel like sharing your opinion, feel free to do such! love ya 

Summary: How birthday day can go in such a different way than initially planned. 

Warnings: oh yes! language, some mild graphics (make-up lol), bitchy Pansy, and... have I mentioned language??

Word Count (bruh): 5.1k 

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

No one would have convinced Y/N in the morning that what had just transpired was coming around, in such a slapdash rapidity as it had. Even so, with that clear-cut fact smacking her right across the face was it still so damn hard to believe that... that it was true.  

She must be hallucinating. Or dreaming. Even the phenomenon of swines with the wings in the air would have been more feasible than... what was that exactly?  

It all started with Y/N descending to the Great Hall, the walls woven with the luminant sunlight of the spring. Entering the room, humid and somewhat irksome (it was Monday, everything is irksome on Mondays, alright?), she instantly noticed a few details: McGonagall's new insipid hairstyle, the plate with her go-to breakfast already stowed in her regular sitting spot, Pansy’s huge grin tacked on her lips, and Blaise missing. The latest part surprised Y/N the most because she knew that Blaise would never skip a breakfast, and these were his usual hours of arriving; maybe he had already eaten?  

Also, what’s the Pansy’s deal with smiling like a madman who overdosed on the crack?  

What in the world...  

“Haiya you!” Pansy scrambled to her feet, without giving Y/N a chance to query. “Guess what! Or no, you are so bullshit at guessing anyways... Slytherin is throwing a party today!”  

The last part of her sentence came out in a feverish murmur, so that the Teachers’ Table wouldn’t overhear their conversation, and only loud enough for Y/N to hear. Still, her excitement was speaking volumes and Y/N wondered quickly whether Pansy really hadn’t dosed on a shot or two before the breakfast. Not that she wasn’t like that on a daily basis.  

“What? It’s literally the beginning of the week.”

“But not every week does someone have a birthday!” As Pansy’s elation gently receded, was then Y/N able to finally to abscond herself at the table and munch on the already-prepared food. Upon seeing Y/N frowning, Pansy let out a shrill shriek which made a few people nearby glance crabwise at the two. “You didn’t forget, did you?”  

“About what?”  

Another shriek followed. “Mattheo’s birthday!”  

An awkward grimace popped on Y/N’s face, brows knitting together. “Well... if you haven’t noticed, we are not precisely on the friendly terms.”  

Pansy made a fish-like O with her mouth, obviously about to say something appeasing, but the grunt next to Y/N interrupted. Promptly, she looked for the owner of the voice and was astonished to learn that the rest of their group was siding just next to her and Pansy, ostensibly listening to their exchange from the starters.  

“Well, well... just look who has finally decided to acknowledge the rest of her friends. Good morning to you too, Y/N.”  

She smirked. “No need to be so bitter, Theo. A few more years of practice and you may replace Snape in his disgruntlement.” A snort issued at the table and Y/N, complacent, grinned cheekily at Theo who only huffed. “Oh, don’t be like that, Theo, you know I love you.” Laying her head against his shoulder, she patted him at the top of his head. “There, there...”  

“So... party you say,” spoke up Draco for the first time. He was chewing on his morning toast, evidently amused by the entire scene, but his eyes had a ghost of a question in them. Y/N already knew that this topic wasn’t going to slip by as easily. “Have you really forgotten about Mattheo?”  

A smear of naked embarrassment splattered on Y/N’s cheeks. A part of her wanted to tell everyone to back off and just let her be, but at the same time, she knew she had blundered. It didn’t matter if they were close with Mattheo or not; they belonged to the same coterie, so it entangled some commitment. Even if that indicated associating with the bombastic entitlement of Mattheo for longer than the ideal time.  

“Mhm... Yeah. You know. How was I supposed to know, really. We barely talk.” While saying so, Y/N made sure to perform the best glower she could pull off. She felt extremely petulant while doing so, but she wanted to fend for herself and not let anyone manoeuvre her into culpability.  

“I told you about that, like two days ago!” Pansy had a distinct air of displeasure, as though personally offended by the occurrence. “I specifically highlighted ‘please, try to remember, it’s important’ and you said ‘fine’!”

“Well, I did not remember. And so, what? Don’t make such a big fuss about that. It’s not like he cares anyways,” Y/N said that with a nose in her breakfast plate, trying to avert the gaze from the rest, especially from Pansy who seemed to be at the brink of incredulity.  

She should have remembered though. She should have.  

Shit, shit, shit...  

Theo grunted again. “It’s not the end of the world, Pansy, we only have to find a way to... make Y/N appear like she’s not an ignorant brat who forgot about her friend's birthday.” A beat. Theo peeked at Y/N goadingly, but she was already shooting daggers at him; that made him smirk. “She can pin her name on the present we got with Blaise.”  

“Thank you, that’s really sweet,” said Y/N, making a U-turn and smiling gratefully at her friend. Gosh, she didn’t know what she would have done without this insolent arse. In order to take the limelight off herself, Y/N continued: “Why did you decide to organize the party so last-minute, anyways?”

“We didn’t know till now if we would be able to smuggle the booze,” said Draco through the half-full mouth.  

“And how ar--”  

“Don’t ask,” interjected Pansy with the look that explicitly indicated that Y/N wouldn’t like to know that piece of information. “Blaise is fixing everything.”  

In response, Y/N merely nodded.  

“So here is a deal,” Pansy continued after a beat. She lowered her timbre as if revealing a top-secret gossip to a bunch of nine-year-olds. “When Mattheo comes down, we are going to pretend like we don’t remember about his birthday. He is going to be sulking all day long and stuff-”

“Highly doubt th-”  

“However.” If the looks could kill, Theo would be surely laying prostrate, French-kissing the floor. “At around...” She looked at her wristwatch. “8-ish, Y/N will ask Mattheo if he could help her out, at the same time hauling him to the Common Room. And that’s when all of us will jump out and hold a fucking “Surprise” banner right in front of his pretty face. Clear much?”  

Y/N exhaled, with one nagging thought in her head. Why was she always the one to be arranged in such a setting with Mattheo? Her friends were acutely aware of the enmity between the two, yet they always impelled them to work together, both if it came to the school projects or even the group hangouts when everyone – beside her and Mattheo, obviously – would suddenly mingle out of the gathering last-minute.  

As if sensing the ongoing dissension in Y/N’s head, Pansy critically eyed Y/N and furrowed, precisely addressing her concerns: “Something to add, Y/N?”  

“No, I love the plan,” she replied quickly, after a moment of contemplation. “It’s that I’m not sure about the latest bit. I—I don’t know if he will accede, you know, with helping me out. We aren’t that friendly, so it may seem a tad suspicious that all of the sudden I’m asking him for a favour.”  

No one said anything for a couple of seconds, but everyone seemed to be having the same hardwired thought as they threw each other the same bemused look, chewing the silence away. The tension of the message, so palpable it was, that it made Y/N snap out of the anticipation; she turned to Pansy, catching the waft of her strong double expresso, and then ogled each of her friends with an expectant eye.  

“What?” Her tone seemed brusque, even to herself. “Why are you all acting so... meek? Is there something I don’t know about?” And then, the thought dawned at her: “Has Mattheo said something about me?”  

Another round of chary looks followed, but before anyone was able to lodge a definite answer to the barrage of Y/N’s questions, the voice from behind echoed:  

“Morning, everyone.”  

Y/N whirled so abruptly, it almost cost her a whiplash, but when she saw the way Mattheo suited himself today, it most definitely caused her that whiplash. He was clad in a button-up shirt, the last couple of buttons undone and exposing the cleavage; his hair of the usual dark-brown curl was tumbling in its usual haphazard style and accentuating his prominent cheekbones; most definitely, the vague scar across his face did not make Y/N anyhow randy. Anyhow!

What struck Y/N the most, however, was the halo above his head – sunlight seeping through the Great Hall’s windows and highlighting Mattheo’s figure. The image was so angelic, so lofty, it suddenly caused the dryness in her throat. She thought she must be melting under those caramel-brown eyes like a humongous puddle of sweat and adoration.  

No, she most definitely did not develop a crush on her frenemy, that couldn’t be right.    

Y/N suddenly realized that she might be gawking, so she promptly returned to her previous position, all her aptitude to eat and breathe gone. Sidewise, she also noticed Pansy grinning knowingly at her, and when Y/N gave her an evil eye, she merely shrugged in a manner of “you know what I mean.”  

Mattheo, instead of occupying his usual spot at the table, squeezed in between Y/N and some Slytherin second-year. Y/N had a vague impression that he was awaiting his friends to suddenly burst singing “Happy Birthday” or bestow him with wishes, because his lips were pressed in a thin line, and he was silently scooping the porridge from the ornamental bowl.  

“So, what’s new, Mattheo?” asked Theo which felt so widely inappropriate that Y/N suddenly had an urge to boot him.  

From this proximity, Y/N could perceive the brief flash of hurt across Mattheo’s features, but that was only for milliseconds. He plastered a sham smile on his face, and only tipped off with a short: “Not much.”  

“We were actually talking,” started Pansy, carefully. “That Y/N needed some tutoring in Potions.” This time, Y/N seriously contemplated booting someone. Namely, Pansy. “Maybe you could help her, Mattheo? You are good at Potions, right?”  

Dismissing Pansy’s last question, Mattheo finally eyed Y/N who was maxing out the redness of her face. She gave him a bashful smile. “Really? I thought you were good at Potions.”  

The blankness overcame her. Y/N, clearly at whom the question was directed, tried to contrive a blatant lie but failing more and more as the seconds elapsed. Panic-stricken, she looked at Pansy who was witnessing the entire fall with a pained expression.  

Shit.  

“I-- I have a problem with this n-new topic. Something connected with Pepperup Potion,” she finally spluttered out, after what felt like forever. Once more, she glanced at Pansy who gave her the thumbs-up (that crone!), but she made the point of averting Mattheo’s gaze. “But sure, if you don’t want t--”  

“No problem,” he broke off Y/N’s exhausted ramble. “Around 6-ish then?”  

“Actually,” said Pansy. “Me and Y/N are headed to the Hogsmeade at that time. Girly things, you know. Maybe you can meet up, afterward, like 7-ish?”

“Mhm, yeah, why not. As long as it’s okay with Y/N.” He shortly looked at her but she, mortified, merely responded with a nod of agreement.

“It’s settled then!” Pansy exclaimed a coda with a sort of exuberance which, apparently, nobody else shared. And Y/N couldn’t help but think how interesting her one-to-one with Mattheo is going to be.  

XOXOXOXXOXOXOXXOXO

Precisely two minutes before the appointed time, Y/N was at the foot of the library, taking in deep breaths.  

She didn’t know why she felt so overwrought. She thought she must be overreacting. It’s not like her and Mattheo hadn’t been alone with each other before.  

Rather, the opposite – they had been. Plenty of times.  

The worst part was, or the funniest -- Y/N wasn’t sure in which terms she should regard that case – she constantly kept recollecting the same printed image of Mattheo from the morning. In his unbuttoned shirt, with that tousled hair which really gave him a look of a lead vocalist from the “Weird Sisters.” And the weirdest bit was that Y/N found that immensely attractive.  

Maybe there was something wrong with her? Maybe it was her hormones butting in, her pre-period thirst for what’s been chucked by the universe? And again, why would the universe be afflicting her?  

Deciding that she would probably not find any answers to those unabating thoughts, Y/N thought that there was no longer point of dangling in front of the entrance like some kind of mule. She pushed the door, treaded through a couple of book sections before finally localizing Mattheo with his usual cavalier aura. He was scribbling something rather intently on the piece of parchment in front of him, so much was he absorbed that he didn’t even flinch when Y/N strode over to the table.  

She cleared her throat, announcing her presence. “Hey.”  

He ultimately quirked up, and gosh was he so unbelievingly charming. Even after a day of meandering in the same clothes, he still made an impression of impeccable, and when his eyes met Y/N’s irresolute gaze, he smiled at her softly. Something flittered in Y/N’s stomach, and she only hoped that it was that sketchily-looking croissant that she had eaten.  

“Hey,” he spoke in a stoic manner, simultaneously gesturing at the chair next to him. “Take a seat.”

And so she did; from that distance she could smell the scent of his cologne – cedarwood mixed with an enticing trace of bourbon. Damn him.  

“Huh, so shall we start?” he asked as Y/N’s eyes were transfixed on his face. “Or will you just keep staring?”  

At once, Y/N tore her gaze away from his face, a blush blotching her cheeks; she felt positively mortified, warmth venturing from the chest to the nape of her neck. Well, it will take her some time to recover from that... “Yeah,” she laughed out, breathlessly. “Sorry.”  

He merely shook his head, then plucked the course book from his satchel, and dragged it between the two of them. Without further ado, he commenced explaining the topic to her (“Pepperup Potion is quite a facile topic” Yeah, no shit, Flamel) in his calming voice, tracing his finger over the ingredients and elucidating their cruciality in finalization of the potion.  

And while he was explaining all of that, composed and unbothered as if it were his daily lark, Y/N was on the other side of the spectrum – never had her body undergone something like that: her brain muddled, thoughts garbled, heart doing cartwheels whenever she looked up at Mattheo. She even noticed those little things about him, like the way his fingers smoothly flipped the pages, the way he pursed his lips whenever he was deeply immersed in his thoughts, or even that he had this sweet, little habit of raking his fingers through his hair.  

Y/N, at the same time, absolutely detested herself for having those thoughts – superficial, distractive, unnecessary, delusory, egregious, and...

She was staring again and, from the peripheries of his vision, Mattheo had noted that because he was eyeing her again in the matter of seconds, clearly saying something but Y/N couldn’t string those words together. Only after a couple of seconds did she parse what he had asked.  

“Yes, I’m fine...” she answered, swallowing the pit in her throat. Then, she inspected her watch – 7.47 -- and decided that it was a high time for them to bestir. “I’m just feeling... tired. Maybe we should get going, you know.”  

Mattheo eyed her for a few more jiffs before finally nodding. Y/N had a dim impression that something in terms of acrimony flashed across his face for a split moment, but that was quickly gone, and he was already shoving his belongings into the satchel.  

Once they were out in the corridor, Y/N started: “Thank you for your help, you know. That means a lot.” She thought it a good idea to pass over her gratitude by touching his shoulder but boy was she wrong. The reaction was immediate: Mattheo stiffened under her touch and, like a scalded cat, took a stride backward; his breath hitched and even in a dull lighting as it was, she could discern how his pupils dilated; he raked his hand over his hair like he had done before.  

Y/N froze, halting just as he had. Not sure what else to do, because she hadn’t done anything wrong really, she simply waited how this debacle was going to progress; she could have anticipated many things -- him throwing cusses at her, him laughing the entire situation off, even him casting curses at her. What she hadn’t expected, however, was Mattheo suddenly rushing in a different direction than the Common Room and leaving her lingering in the spot, not able to process rapidity of the shebang.  

Maybe she should have felt contrite at the moment, maybe she should have given up, and simply informed her friends that the plan clearly hadn’t worked out, and that Mattheo was a prick, leaving her hanging like some kind of scum in the middle of the corridor. But she would be lying to herself then and poorly attempting to talk herself into believing that she didn’t care.  

Yet she did, that’s why Y/N suddenly felt like the blood was curdling within her. Without administering that the words were spewing out of her mouth, she was already shouting after him:

“What’s your problem?” Mattheo stopped in his track, not turning around nor snorting at her, but simply standing still. He was waiting for her to continue. “Every time we are supposed to hang out with each other, every time I try to initiate the conversation with you, every time I smile and you ignore me, every time... I try so hard to be nice to you, try to act... civil, at least in front of our friends. But you always bring me down.” She didn’t even fathom how she had come up to him, but here she was – standing in front of Mattheo Riddle and cannoning the grudges that she had been keeping for years at him. It felt so... emancipating. “Even that one time when I cooked the brownies for Christmas, especially for you, and later you gave them away to Blaise. You know how humiliated I felt? That I spent time doing something for you, and you... so carelessly dismissed that? And, and... by the way, how much of the psychopath do you have to be as not to like brownies, on Merlin’s Beard!”  

Her voice sounded so reedy in her ears, but she knew that she was just poorly trying to outshout the quiver in her voice or the prickling tears in her eyes. When a tear tumbled down her cheek, not wanting to unveil any accompanying emotions, she angrily wiped it away with a sleeve. Her gaze travelled downwards because she felt more waterworks coming about.  

“I realize that you might hate me bu-”

“I don’t,” interjected Mattheo. For the first time, he shifted in his spot and when Y/N scrutinized his countenance, his lines had a note of desperation in them, earnestness that clearly stressed the truthfulness of his words. “I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t have to lie, Mattheo, I-”

“I don’t hate you,” he retaliated, sounding stern. And angry, in a way? Y/N must have misheard.    

“Listen, Mattheo, I appreciate you trying to patch things up, but there’s no poin-”

But her sentence spiralled into the distant corners of the corridor, and Y/N piped down as Mattheo took a step closer, curtailing the distance between the two. Y/N cast her face downwards under Mattheo’s intense stare, but his hand travelled to her chin, forcing her to look at him once more. His thumb swiped over her cheek where the tear stain was, and it seemed like he was contemplating her dejection with a sour expression. For a moment, Y/N could swear that the air in her lungs disappeared altogether, and she just kept waiting for his next move, her eyes turned into the deer-in-the-headlights expression.  

With the intent look, he bent over her, Y/N’s nostrils catching the scent of his cologne yet again, and he was leaning over to her ear. One of his hands moved over to her arm, clutching it lightly as if she was the most exquisite dainty porcelain set, and his mouth was just centimetres away from her earlobe. Y/N’s body went entirely rigid.  

“I. Don’t. Hate. You,” he spelled out every syllable of his sentence, gravely, gutturally, slowly.  

Something clicked in Y/N. No longer was she standing there spellbound, but maybe because of his intoxicating scent, maybe because of the intensity with which he had uttered his words, she was tugging him by his collar with both of her hands. She normally, a brief thought crossed her mind, wouldn’t have enough nerve to do something like that, but she kissed him -- her desperate, parched mouth travelled onto his.  

For a moment, she asked herself if maybe she might be out of her mind for doing that or if Mattheo felt the same way she had this morning, or if he had ever considered her as more then... well, whatever they were. She soon found out the answer, however, because his lips momentarily detached themselves from her skin, and he was scanning her face with dilated pupils.  

Instantly, Y/N pulled away and put her hands on the level with her head in the defensive mode like a child who had been caught red-handed while sneaking out the chocolate bars. The air was sucked out of her.  

“I’m so, so sor-”  

“It’s not the way I envisaged that...” His voice sounded positively berserk, feral even. Her hands pending mid-air, Mattheo drew them back to their previous place. In the middle of that maelstrom, Mattheo capitalized Y/N’s confusion by placing his hands on her lower back, flipped her so that now her body was positioned against the wall, moulded against him.  

“And how have you envisaged that, exactly?” she muttered, her voice barely audible. She blinked a couple of times, disorientated, observing as a smirk curved on Mattheo’s lips.  

“Let me show you how...”  

His lips smashed against hers, and Y/N was happy to note that her feelings were requited after all. At first it started off gentle, but that quickly morphed into this voracious battle for dominance. They were devouring into each other's taste (Mattheo’s peppermint toothpaste), and he slid his tongue over her bottom lip, silently soliciting her for deepening the kiss.

She permitted, of course she did, parting her lips ever so widely, deliberating that if she ever were to die, that’s probably the only way she would have accepted the Grim Reaper in her warm, hospitable embrace. Much to her surprise, Mattheo took her by both of her wrists, pinned them above her head while his other hand was caressing the skin underneath her shirt.  

His kisses were so fierce and zealous, Y/N couldn’t help it but feel the sudden yearning to be as close to him as possible; she draped one of her legs around his lower waist, aligning his body with hers as if they were the unity. It felt like they belonged together the whole life, just like yin and yang, and it was so ludicrous that they hadn’t realized that before.  

His tongue flicked over her lips a couple more times, making the want pool around her abdomen, before he finally dipped lower and lower, reaching her neck and planting the sloppy kisses on it. It was as if though he couldn’t get enough of her taste, so ardent in his actions he was, and when he finally discovered the weak spot on her neck, he started sucking on it ever so roughly. Not quite able to quell it, she let out a small moan which apparently must have worked marvels on Mattheo because Y/N could suddenly sense the bulge of erection ramming against her thigh.  

She was torn. From one side, she wanted to do this so badly, the knot in her lower parts specifically betrayed that, but she knew that it would be so wrong and thorny if they elevated that to another level.  

Yet, it was so hard to focus with Mattheo’s lips leeched to her neck, signaturing her skin in the most conspicuous way.  

“Don’t... you think... that we sho...uld talk this over... first?” Y/N rasped out with an evident difficulty.  

“What’s there to talk about?” he muttered in between the kisses, his hand still circling on Y/N’s belly and dangerously nearing to her bra. “I’ve wanted this since forever. And clearly, so did you.”  

Y/N released an amused, hoarse chuckle but that silenced her only for a few seconds before she finally deciphered his words. Particularly, the one resonated in her mind: forever. A paroxysm of joy sprung up in her.  

“So, you felt like that for a long time?”  

Mattheo, apparently cognizing that Y/N wasn’t going to relinquish the topic easily, halted. He withdrew both of his hands, instead placing them on each side of the wall where Y/N was residing. His chest was still moving rapidly, hair rumpled, and pupils almost entirely replacing the irises of his eyes. As Y/N examined him briefly, she thought she must be out of her mind for ceasing their make-out in the first place.  

Too late for reversion, anyways.  

After a few inhales, he finally started: “Well, haven’t you noticed? This entire time, that I-” With a small gloss of hesitation, he looked her in the eyes, assiduously. “I have been crazy about you. For so long. I don’t even remember how it feels to be sane, because whenever I’m around you I just... want to grab you and kiss you senseless.”  

Y/N balked. Things got another notch inexplicable, and Y/N wasn’t sure anymore if she was dreaming and perhaps was stuck in a different universe where cats were the heads of the Ministry, Pansy was Gryffindor, and Mattheo was besotted with her. That would be more possible, from all Y/N could think of.  

“Really?” A blush suffused her cheeks. “I thought you hated me! All those signs – always avoiding me, never talking to me... This didn’t necessarily appear to me as... what you just said.”  

“Listen.” His palm covered hers and he squeezed it lightly a couple of times. “All of that was just a game. I didn’t want to weird you out nor did I know if you reciprocated my feelings. That’s why I tried to... avoid you, if you will.” He stopped for a moment, just staring Y/N, enchanted, as if there was nothing else in the world, both of them captured in slow-motion where nothing else around them mattered. The silence between them was only raptured by their quick breathing and the hammering in their chests. “In truth, the way you... move and talk, it’s all driving me mad. Fuck! I want to be with you, be able to kiss you whenever I desire, want to touch you and be there for you whenever you feel down... Y/N, I want to do so many things with you, and you don’t even know that. But how could you, right?”  

As if pained, he closed his eyes with a microscopic grimace and he licked his lips, as if reminiscing the tastes of her on his skin. With guilt flaring up, Y/N cupped his cheek in her palm and stroked over it again and again. He seemed to be enjoying that as he leaned into her touch, his frayed nerves somewhat tranquilized.  

“You know, I like you too,” Y/N said, and before Mattheo was able to protest as he opened his mouth with the clear intention of doing so, Y/N proceeded: “I really do! It was just that... I was trying to tell myself otherwise because I wasn’t sure of how you would react. And when you waltzed into the Great Hall today, looking like that, I realized that... I’ve been lying to myself. And- and are you mad?”  

He furrowed. “Mad? What for?”  

“For screaming at you earlier.” Y/N pursed her lips.  

Gently smiling, he smooched her lips shortly, and Y/N fleetingly missed the heat of his body on hers. “No, I was a dick.” Another smooch. “Although, I would specifically like to highlight that I didn’t give these cookies away to Blaise. He stole them.”  

With poorly faked disapprobation, she shook her head but soon enough, a grin adorned her features. “That shithead.”  

Mattheo chuckled and he was about to kiss Y/N again when...  

“There you two are, I was looking all over for you two and--” Pansy prowled from around the corner, clearly with annoyance painted on her face but when she discerned the view right in front of her, with Y/N positioned against Mattheo, she smirked. “Well, well... Y/N, I told you to sneak him into the Common Room, not to woo him.” Y/N palm-faced herself but Pansy, not taking on the social hints, continued: “But have it your way, I guess...”

“Pansy, I think we would like to be left alone for now and if you could-”  

“No,” Pansy interposed, folding her arms together. “It’s your birthday party, Mattheo! It was supposed to be a surprise, but someone...” She leered at Y/N with a pointed look. “...clearly can’t control themselves and restrain her animalistic instincts, irrespective of the plan that her other friends set up.”

“In her defence--”  

“And I’m not going to be a shitty friend who forgets about her best friend’s birthday! So, collect yourself a little and schedule bumping uglies on a different time.” With that, the pitter-patter of her stilettos faded away, while both Mattheo and Y/N stood stunned in their spot.  

“That’s not how I planned it,” Y/N explained quickly. “Especially the “bumping uglies” part.”  

Mattheo chuckled with hilarity sparkling in his eyes. “I know.”

“And I’m sorry about your birthday, we were supposed to act like we have forgo-”  

“Doesn’t matter.” Mattheo smiled finally at her, covering her mouth with his. “It’s still the best birthday I have ever had.”  

#Mattheo x reader #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #mattheo x you #Benjamin Wadsworth #Benjamin Wadsworth x reader #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle x y/n #Hogwarts #Harry Potter #pansy Parkinson #Theodore Nott #Draco Malfoy #blaise zabini #mattheoxreader #mattheo riddle fanfiction #hp #one-shot harry potter

[chrliekclly]

if you ever want to talk about your thoughts on joyce .. Peeks over the corner of your blog. i love talking and hearing ppls thoughts on joyce sooo much even if they're different from my own!! and your analysis and stuff is always so well thought out

i hope u dont mind if i answer this publicly to take advantage of th request nd get my ideas out ther (also tyvm im happy u like my insane takes on these idiots, iv ben thinking abt them for almost 10 years)

i said a lot here so gnna 'read more' it

iv ben building trans charlie n my head fr, like i said, nearly 10 years. i used to view him as cis bcuz i always try to take as much frm th source material as i can wen i craft my HCs nd i had v personal (stupid) hangups insofar as him explicitly referring to his junk multiple times nd bottom surgery simply not being on my radar as a naive littl trans idiot deep in th sauce tht transmen oftn fall into w phallo being viewed so so poorly

evn still i leaned towards transmasc charlie nd always lovd moments tht let me imagine, for a moment, it being true, like his discomfort w taking off his shirt [hundred dollar baby, charlie kelly: king of the rats, the gang exploits the mortgage crisis, young charlie and mac deleted scenes, etc etc etc], or bonnie yelling abt ppl stealing her "charlie-girl" [the waitress is getting married] which i lovd to see as her accidentally misgendering him while drunk off her ass.

having grown out of my phallo issues (nd if ur reading this and u still view phallo super poorly, please do some research and grow too), ive in recent years fully subscribed to transmasc/nb charlie, and view his timeline something like this:

baby -> elementary: charlie refers to himself as a boy, doesnt "come out," simply has no idea he's afab. bonnie lets him dress however he wants and refers to him as asked. when charlie gets confused about his genitals, bonnie says his dick will grow in later lol, makes charlie wear a dress in public restrooms and tells him its just a game

middle: puberty hits and charlie gets confused and scared. bonnie puts him on blockers w.o explaining them ("my mom used to vaccinate me like every month" [the gang gets quarantined]) charlie goes on content and oblivious. STP acquired because hes "a late bloomer" and his dicks still not growing in?? weird. confides this in mac once, but he doesn't understand.

high: charlie finally registers that he's trans after forgetting theres a health class 1 day and not being able to skip it. throws him for a loop a bit but he becomes actively invested in his goals. he gets to start T and wants to have surgeries. "what guy hasnt done some extensive research on his own genitalia?" [mac is a serial killer]

college (aged): able to surgically transition (ty medicare) and continues on with life as we kno him now

joyce, imo, fits neatly into these views.

as a transmasc nb who came out young nd prefers to be seen as just A Guy by strangers, i grew up v vehemently against anything girly that might get me misgendered, but th more i began to 'pass,' th more @ home n my body i felt, th more and more comfortable i am w femininity, th more i wdnt mind putting on a dress, as long as th general public wd see me as "a man in women's clothes." n my mind, i prescribe something not exactly th same but v similar to charlie.

i see charlie "i dont really identify" kelly as afab and nb. i see joyce as a "character" he originally created to distance himself from the dysphoria of putting on a dress as a young trans boy, but that became part of him as the hard lines he drew in the sand as a child became blurry with age and self acceptance. charlie's comfort with himself allows joyce to evolve into a more solid persona, one he enjoys embodying and allowing to become a permanent facet of who he is. he's ok with being referred to as either. they're both him.

so maybe joyce comes out a bit more outside of the bathroom now.

#ask #pariskim #charlie kelly #joyce kelly #ramblings #i hav lots of thoughts nd feelings nd smday ill draw out charlie's whole timeline th way iv ben meaning to #th same way charlie holds th gang togethr charlie holds my whole viewpoint of iasip togethr #i gave myself a headache writing this post i spent more time xplaining my years of tboy charlie thinking than joyce im sry lmao #but i do lov her

[andypantsx3]

omg so this is just an existential ramble, pls feel free to skip past but the topic of "niceness" vs "kindness" is heavy on the mind today!! (take a shot every time i say "nice" or "kind" below lol)

i saw this tiktok about the queer eye drama that is going on right now (which i do not know much about bc i've skipped past most of it). it was about jvn and the basic premise was like "people whose brand is niceness are always doomed to fail" and in some respects i think that is true, because people conflate niceness with kindness, and misunderstand both.

to jank definitions from this huffpost article, "niceness" is "about being polite, civilized and demonstrating high levels of social skills and etiquette", whereas "kindness is a deliberate action of friendliness or care that chooses to see others as if they were connected to you in some meaningful way. it is a choice to practice empathy, connection and generosity to meet the needs of another.”

this is just a personal take but i think people see social performances of "niceness" and sort of like, unthinkingly build up an image in their head of someone as kind or good, when the things they do are nice but not actually indicative of true kindness.

(also let's skip past the "brand" wording for now bc i have a million thoughts on public-facing personas vs like, actual branding, and it all boils down to authenticity i think. but that's for another time.)

to me, people often conflate what i think of as the "aesthetic of niceness" with genuine goodness, and while the actions taken are nice in and of themselves and are usually undertaken with no ulterior motive, they do not actually correlate to true underlying kindness. we can pick apart me as an example, as people have said i am nice and i do try my best to be both nice & kind, but i think the following things are not indicative of how i actually try to be kind!

the "aesthetic of niceness" is a social performance taken at no expense to the person doing it. these are things like sending cute messages to mooties to check up on them (again, done because i like that person, not because i have some ulterior motive lol), being nice to people who are nice to me in my inbox (so easily done, who doesn't want to be nice to people who are being nice to them?), reblogging pictures of soup or bread or whatever lol and telling followers i am wishing u garlic bread, etc. because i genuinely am.

but to me, the real test of someone's kindness comes in at moments where it is hard to be nice. where the world is testing you and you have to grit your teeth and scrabble and claw for some semblance of generosity towards a person who is being unkind to you (and also i would like to distinguish this from boundary setting or from reacting to bigotry bc let's be real bigots sometimes do not deserve kindness, please let them have it).

it is easy to be nice when the world is being nice to you, but it is so fucking hard to give people the benefit of the doubt and react to them with empathy and patience when they are being the hugest shits in the world, whether on purpose or by accident. and i don't think any one person is capable of always, always managing their emotions in situations like that, and that is why i think "niceness" as a facet of your public persona is always going to fail at some point.

i am aware of some people who project niceness but have sent hate anons behind the scenes, or project niceness but have plagiarized some people's fics and feel no remorse for it. and people would be shocked to learn that, because they do not know the difference between being nice & being kind; and/or have never had the opportunity to observe these people behind the scenes to know truly what underlays that niceness.

anyway all of this to say i think that it's nice to be nice and we should continue to do it. but we should understand that niceness is not necessarily indicative of kindness, and that in order to really understand how "kind" a person is, you need to evaluate their actions when shit hits the fan. (but also with generosity of spirit, hopefully, knowing that one failure to be kind in a moment of high stress does not mean they not will be kind in others, etc.)

uhhhh that's all. that was just on the brain this morning. thanks for listening lol.

[sleeper9]

Birth of the Beatles rewatch

I’m now motivated to rewatch birth of the Beatles since it’s been awhile (6 months) here’s my thoughts:

What I remember liking about this movie is it starts with the Beatles in their leather looks right away and just the image of them walking around like this in their “cool uniforms” is so funny to me and you can see why Paul was like “people would make fun of us” lmao.

I think the likenesses in this movie is actually not that bad especially George and Paul but the man playing John is just clearly too old (although I don’t think he does a bad job). Also is this the only movie that actually shows Paul being an absolute nuisance and insane lad??? The energy is off the charts (which is true to life)

They’re kinda cute idk

John calling Paul a beauty right away mmhmm you know that’s right.

It’s leopold and loeb themselves! The nerk twins! I like how much they attack people together and George is a good back up. It’s amazing how Beatles movies cannot get this dynamic at all right. But Paul being so supportive of Stu… lmao…

John and Paul goofing off together in the background you know that’s right. I like to hear johns silly little giggle

George always calling Paul “paulie”… so cute

Timeline gets real messed up in the middle bit. They skip over the paris trip of course 😔… imagine someone actually showing Paul and Johns trip like… revolutionary it would be

Enter Brian!

They really said Yah these boys were hot!

I like how they make such a big deal about trying to convey Brian is a GAY man and then the very next scene

Paul and John just out here looking like a married couple

Damn John where you putting that hand!

Damn these bitches really laugh in your face!!! (When you know in reality they were bowing saying oh yes pls mr Epstein)

Paul getting scared of a red light and Brian being like stop being a DIVA Paul. But omg these ungrateful little bitches being like you’re a failure Brian! Shut up Brian! Smh. At least they throw in a scene of John being super nice. There’s lots of scenes of John being really nice.

When John and Cynthia kissed after hearing they got the record deal I seriously thought Paul was gonna lean in and smooch George. The Paul actor gives off big I’ll shag anyone energy which is once again very rare!

Kinda appropriate the movie ends with John getting depressed out of nowhere lol… also very rare to have a message of no Beatle is better than the other

#the birth of the beatles #the beatles #personal #john lennon #paul mccartney #george harrison #ringo starr #brian epstein

[jadedrrose]

For the 800 followers (congratulations btw!)

Can I get 12 with Law please? Maybe with a straw hat fem reader not wanting to deal with drunken crew having a party on Zou?

“Wanna Sneak Out Of Here?”

Tysm!! I’ll be honest, I got really carried away with this request. I genuinely think this is one of my favorite things I’ve ever written lol. So I hope you love it too!! <3

Warnings: I don’t think I used pronouns but it’s still kinda implied it’s fem reader. Totally sfw!

Since your arrival on the giant elephant where the Minks lived, it was nothing but chaos. Now, that was to be expected with your crew, but you really just needed a break after the events of Dressrosa.

And of course, to nobody’s surprise, when Cat Viper had suggested having a banquet, your captain jumped at the chance to have one. You could only hope that nobody would drag you off to dance or get drunk with them, though. That thought replayed in your mind, as you watched the Minks, your crew and Law’s crew all interact. Please nobody bother me… was the wishful thought you kept thinking. 

Nami briefly came over to where you sat under a tree, tilting her head to the side with a semi-sour look on her face. “What’s the matter y/n? Normally you like banquets.”

You brought a hand to your forehead, rubbing it as though that could help the headache all the noise was giving you. “I just feel like shit since Dressrosa… sorry,” you explained, giving Nami an apologetic look. She was your best friend, therefore you two always had the most fun together during banquets.

“I swear, those boys,” she scoffed, blaming your exhaustion on them. It was partially true, anyway. “Always getting so rowdy… I’ll tell them to leave you alone. Maybe you should go rest?” Nami suggested.

“Yeah, I think I will. Not now, though.” You agreed, pausing after the latter half of your sentence.

“Why’s that?” Nami asked.

“The banquet started barely an hour ago. Don’t wanna leave too early, haha,” you added a lighthearted laugh so that Nami would know you’re not in too much pain.

“I see. Well, I’ll talk to you later, k?” She smiled down at you.

“Mhm. Bye,” you waved her off as Nami skipped away, going to bother Usopp next.

You continued to sit alone underneath the tree for what felt like hours. But realistically, you guessed that only thirty minutes had passed. You watched as Luffy and Chopper did their usual chopsticks ‘trick’ for all the minks, who were hysterically laughing at the scene. A quiet giggle escaped you, and you shook your head. 

“It’s no wonder you’ve got a headache with crewmates like that,” a deep voice came from beside you, startling you. You looked to your left to see Law, whom you’d actually become pretty good friends with since the alliance started. You often wondered if you were the one and only exception to the “alliance does not equal friendship” rule.

“Jeez, you scared me,” you laughed, smiling as the other captain sat down beside you, knees bent upward so that his arms could rest on them. 

“Just checking on you,” he hummed, but then you noticed his ears turning red as he quickly looked away from you. “S-since I heard you tell Nami about… y’know.”

You giggled in response, thinking about how cute Law looked like this. He was certainly flustered, but was that because he was just awkward or did he have… other feelings for you?

“Yeah, it’s gotten better though,” you said, in reference to the headache. “But I’m still tired,” you yawned.

“Same here,” Law added, seeming stoic once again. 

The two of you continued to sit together underneath the tree, not really making much conversation. It’s not like you needed to, anyway. You’d learned that Law, much like yourself, preferred to be more laid back and quietly watch rather than party. So the two of you spending time together like this was really nice, actually. Every now and then, one of you would say something just to make sure that the other hadn’t fallen asleep. This continued on for another hour or so, before you accidentally started something;

You raised your arms up to stretch as you yawned, repositioning yourself against the tree. However, when you lowered your hands, you accidentally placed your left one directly on top of Law’s tattooed hand.

He quietly gasped, and you quickly snatched your hand away, face turning red. “S-sorry,” you squeaked out, trying to avoid eye contact with the surgeon.

Law’s face was equally as red, though, “no I don’t mi- I mean, uh, don’t worry about it,” he managed to say, stammering and stuttering his words. That was unusual for him. 

After that interaction, you both gradually scooted closer and closer to each other, and before you knew it, you were pressed up against Law, the skin of your arms brushing against each other. You hesitantly laid your head onto his shoulder, feeling bold.

He jumped just a little, but didn’t verbally protest or make any movements that indicated he wanted you to stop. You smiled at that. I’m definitely the exception to the alliance rule. Possibly even more… I hope.

Your face once again flushed red as you thought about that. You and Law, together? What would your crew have to say about that? 

“Y/n-ya,” he suddenly spoke up, turning his head to look at you.

“Yeah?” You breathed, looking up at him from where you rested your head on his shoulder.

“Wanna sneak out of here?” He asked, a smirk on his lips. A smirk that had your heart beating faster and faster, as you thought about wiping said smirk off his lips. With your lips.

You could only nod, the butterflies in your stomach making your mind race with thoughts about what Law intended on doing once you snuck away. 

He stood up first, holding a hand out for you to grab onto. Gently, you placed your hand into his and he pulled you up. A bit too fast, though, as you stumbled forward once on your feet. Directly into his chest.

For a second, you were pressed against his body, head lightly landing underneath his chin. You pulled back, though, biting your lip as you felt your face flush with embarrassment, again.

“Sorry. Seems like I’m being very clumsy tonight,” you giggled, willing yourself to look back at Law. 

He still looked down at you with a slight smile, and gosh, was he so charming right now. Your little crush on the Heart Pirate’s captain seemed to be turning into you being in love with him, now.

Law guided you back to one of the many tree-houses, the one he’d been staying in, specifically. There were a couple dimly lit candles illuminating the room, and you looked around as you stepped further inside. He certainly kept his space very neat, which only made you love him more. You were so used to the boys trashing everything and not caring enough to clean up.

He sat down on the bed, patting the spot to his right with his hand. You sat next to him, eyes still wandering around the room as you waited for him to break the silence. 

“Y/n, I wanna tell you something,” Law then quietly said. You were a bit taken aback that he hadn’t added the usual “-ya” to your name. He must’ve been serious.

You simply looked at him, waiting for Law to continue with hopeful eyes. 

“I know when the alliance started, I said this was strictly a no friendliness thing. But- I. Um,” he scratched the back of his neck, awkwardly. “I’ve changed my mind. For you, at least.”

“That’s nice to know,” you said, trying to not look disappointed that he hadn’t confessed his love for you. “I'm glad we can be friends.”

“That’s not all,” he then added, sparking hope within you once again. “I… want to go further than ‘just friends’. Y/n… I, fuck, this is so awkward,” he cursed, placing a hand over his face as though he was disappointed with himself. “I- I love you, okay?”

With the words now out, Law turned his head away, fearing that you’d reject him. But how could you? He was the most handsome man you’d ever met, and was nothing like the rowdy, filthy boys on your crew. Smiling, you placed your hands on each side of his face, turning him to face you. 

“I'm glad you feel that way, too,” you whispered, before doing something you’d never thought you’d ever do;

You’d felt his breath on your lips for just a second, and decided you had  to do it now before you changed your mind. Leaning your head up and forward, you swiftly connected your lips with Law’s, slowly easing the two of you into the kiss as it seemed you were both inexperienced. It took a couple moments of stiff, awkward kissing before you finally figured out how to fit your lips against his. Feeling weak in the knees despite sitting down, you swooned and deepened the kiss, loving the way his lips felt against your own.

Before you knew it, you were practically shoving your tongues down each other’s throats, your hands still firmly holding onto Law with his arms now wrapped around your body, holding you close to him. 

When you finally parted a few inches away to get some air into your lungs, your body flushed with hotness as your mixed saliva strung together between your lips. Was that how heavy your make out had been? It was thrilling, honestly.

You licked your lips and went in for another kiss, but before you could fully connect your mouth with Law’s, the door burst open as your captain rushed inside the room. “Oi! Torao! You need to come down and- hey! Why’s y/n in here?!” 

You stared with wide eyes and a reddened face at your captain, realizing you and Law were still holding each other, faces not even an inch apart. “Get out of here! Now!” Law yelled, causing your captain to laugh as he retreated with a “sorry, sorry.”

As the door shut again, you could hear Luffy say one more thing; “Torao can’t come right now! He’s too busy shoving his face into y/n’s. Hey, why are they doing that?”

The last bit of Luffy’s statement sounded quite confused, but you couldn’t hear anybody’s response as their voices faded away, and it was just you and Law again.

“Sorry about that, he doesn’t understand-“

“You don’t need to keep apologizing to me, you know? Though it’s cute to see you get embarrassed,” Law cut you off, kissing you again as he finished speaking. He ran a tattooed hand through your hair as he did so, making your heart skip a few beats.

“Right. Sorry- I mean, um. So, now what? Are we dating?” You asked, a playful smile on your lips.

“Yeah, we’ll just have to see what your captain says about that,” Law answered with a light chuckle. “I don’t think I’ll be able to part from you after all this.”

“I wouldn’t dare dream of it,” you whispered, looking into his gray eyes. “I wanna be with you, always, Law…”

“Then be with me, always, y/n.”

#trafalgar law #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #trafalgar d water law x reader #trafalgar law x you #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar law x y/n #trafalgar d water law x you #trafalgar d water law #law x g/n reader #law x female reader #law x you #law x y/n #one piece x reader #jadedrrose 800 event

[icarusignite]

An Eye for an Eye (part 1)

Pairing: Aemond x OC! Daenys Varyon-Targaryen

Summary: Daenys Velaryon-Targaryen is the oldest child of Rhaenyra and Laenor Velaryon, but she shares the same true lineage as her brothers Jacaerys, Lucerys, and Joffrey. Having grown up beside Aemond Targaryen, she has become a friend, a companion, and eventually a beloved wife to him. But when the man she loves commits an unforgivable crime, she must choose between her beloved and her family.

parts: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 /  5 / 6 / 7 / Future parts: MASTERLIST

A/N: I have seen so many edits of the scene where Vhagar chomps down on poor baby Lucerys and Aemond looks shaken and it got me in my feels so I thought I'd try my hand at my first fanfiction. Aemond is probably a bit OOC but I was craving regretful soft Aemond so here we are. This is also pretty canon divergent lol. This fic is also available on AO3

Word count: 1837

Daenys Targaryen walked the halls of the castle lost in thought. The past few days had been quite strenuous, with the death of her grandfather and the crowning of Queen Alicents son Aegon. Daenys yearned to return to Dragonstone to her mother, the rightful heir, and support her true claim. However, her access to the dragon pit had been forbidden and she was barely ever allowed to leave the castle unchaperoned. Someone was always watching her every move and she was beginning to feel stifled. Perhaps, she thought, a part of her stayed to try and convince her husband to join her mother's cause. It was a laughable thought really, because how could she of all people ever get Aemond to turn his back on his family?

They had been friends since childhood and when he had asked his father, the late King Viserys, to offer for her hand in marriage, Daenys was more than happy to accept, even if her mother was a little reluctant. Even her relationship with the Queen had once been one of companionship and tenderness, but the recent crowning of Aegon had placed a strain on their relationship. Daenys had once been Alicient's favourite of all of Rhaenyra's children, so much so that she had been the one to convince Rhaenyra regarding her betrothal to Aemond, speaking of alliances and powerful unions. It certainly helped that Daneys looked the part of a true Targaryen, unlike her beloved brothers whose parentage was always put into question. Perhaps, Alicent had taken advantage of Daenys's fondness for Aemond to keep her in King's Landing for a while longer as opposed to running off to Dragonstone to her mother. The royal family needed to present a united front during such a time of chaos. 

As she reached the throne room, Daenys heard a commotion. There was yelling, a frustrated sigh, and then furious whispering. Daenys could barely make out the words but she could swear her name being said, along with her brother Lucerys's. Why would he be here, she wondered, but her heart raced with anticipation. Perhaps her mother had sent for her. The Hightowers couldn't very well keep her here if her mother officially summoned her and sent her brother to bring her back to Dragonstone.

With a skip in her step, she entered the throne room. However, her brother was nowhere to be seen and she was greeted by a strange scene. Otto Hightower and the dowager queen were engaged in heated whispers while Aegon sat on the iron throne laughing. Her eyes scanned the room and eventually landed on her husband. Aemond Targaryen looked lost. His eyepatch was missing, his eyes were wide in what looked like equal parts of disbelief and horror. His hair was mussed like he had just been out riding Vhagar. Something must have disturbed him while he was out, though Daenys couldn't think of a single thing that would possibly scare the mighty Aemond Targaryen. Worry gnawed at her either way as she rushed to his side to take his trembling hands in her own.

Her entrance silenced the entire room. Even Aegon halted his maniacal laughter. When the queen's eyes landed on her, they softened immediately. Aemond on the other hand froze and went pale. He refused to meet her eyes and pulled his hands away.

"Aemond are you alright?" she spoke gently, trying not to startle him further, "what's going on?"

At the sound of her voice, Aemond flinched. Aegon smirked.

"Tell her what happened. Go ahead. It is the best news I've heard in a long time," he crowed with pleasure.

At the sound of everyone's silence, Aegon laughed even louder.

"Daenys my dear, pay Aegon no mind. His majesty simply has too much on his mind. 'Tis nothing," Alicent said gently, coming over to put her hand comfortingly on Daenys's shoulder.

"Oh for God's sake, stop being such cowards. Tell her the truth. Why don't you tell her brother?" Aegon turned to Aemond. "Tell your beloved what you did to her brother!"

Daenys froze. Her brother? Is that why they were talking about him earlier? Had something happened to him? Her heart twisted as she tried to meet Aemond's eyes. Eyes that remained glued to the floor.

"My dear there's been an accident..." Alicent tried again before Aegon interrupted.

"Why let mother fight your battles against your lady wife Aemond? You seemed perfectly capable of fighting for yourself against that Strong Bastard. An eye for an eye was it then?"

Daenys's jaw dropped as she whirled towards Aemond with fury in her eyes.

"You fought with my brother? Why would you do that? Was that the accident then? Did you hurt him? Where is he now?"

"At the bottom of the..." Aegon stopped with a scowl as Aemond glared daggers at him.

"Your brother...uh he... he had an accident and unfortunately he didn't make it," Alicent whispered.

Oh.

Oh.

All the fire went out inside of her and Daenys slumped to her knees on the floor. Aemond tried to approach her, speaking for the first time since she entered the room.

"Daenys, listen..."

She flinched away from his touch as he reached for her.

"Don't," she whispered, her eyes filling with unshed tears.

"Daenys please," he pleaded.

Aegon was clearly enjoying this. He grinned at his brother.

"We shall have a grand feast for you, Kinslayer. Finally rid of that bastard. As king perhaps I shall gift you the Driftmark seat. You may rule the seas you earned with your lady love," he winked.

Aemond's eyes remain fixed on Daenys as she slowly turned towards him.

"How... how did it..." she could barely get the words out.

"It was an accident, I swear it. I tried to stop Vhagar but she wouldn't listen. I promise it was an accident," Aemond insisted, still trying to reach for her, even as she pulled farther away.

"Oh quit being modest brother. Tell her how you earned the name Kinslayer. Finally going after the bastard who took your eye. You were even kind enough to give him the choice of carving out his own eye. A courtesy I remember he did not offer you. It was only after he so rudely denied you your repayment that you went after him. As king, I declare it to be a fair game to be sure," Aegon winked at Daenys, recounting the entire tale of how Aemond gave chase to Lucerys and his dragon in Storm's End. His grin grew wider as her expression grew more horrified. 

"If you are too upset with my brother to warm his bed, you know where to find me, don't you? After all, it was his dragon that took a nice big bite out of your brother."

A strangled cry of horror and disbelief escaped Daenys's lips as she glared at Aemond. 

"You are still on about that? After all these years, you still haven't let it go?"

"He took my eye!" Aemond protested.

"He was 5! A child!"

“And what of me? I was a child too. A child who lost his eye and had to live with this hideous disfigurement for the rest of my life!”

“I'm sorry for that. Truly I am. I even offered you my eye as retribution for what my brother did. He was a child and didn’t know better. That still didn’t give you the right to take his life.”

"I... I'm telling you it was an accident. I didn't mean for it to happen like that. I just got angry and wanted to teach him a lesson. I gave chase only as a prank, to scare him a little. I didn't mean for him to get hurt."

"He was still a child Aemond! You chased my little brother and his baby dragon across Storm's End on that monstrosity you ride. What did you expect?" Daenys sobbed, tears now streaming down her face. "You killed him. You and your stupid giant brute of a dragon killed my baby brother!"

"Daenys, please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen," Aemond pleaded. He knelt next to her and tried to take her into his arms as her entire body seemed to vibrate with grief and rage. 

It hurt him to see her this way, coming apart at the seams. She pulled away from him violently, taking deep shuddering breaths. 

"Stay the hell away from me!" she shrieked. 

Aemond lowered his hands, chest aching. He looked at his mother beseechingly until she knelt beside Daenys. 

"Shhhh my darling. It's going to be ok. I'm sorry. He's sorry. We're sorry," Alicent soothed.

"NO!" Daenys screamed. "It won't be alright. My brother is dead. My brother is dead!"

Daenys doubled over, her insides burning. She pressed her forehead against the cool marble of the throne room and willed it to swallow her. Great sobs wracked her body and she pushed away the multitudes of arms that tried to hold her, to pull her up and carry her away. Then it became hard to breathe and when she started choking on her own frenzied cries, she allowed herself to slip into the darkness that hovered just at the edge of her consciousness.

Alicent looked at the girl who lay slumped on the floor in pity. First, by crowning Aegon as King and now by killing one of Rhaenyra's sons, her family had officially broken any and all bonds with Rhaenyra’s. This meant war to be sure. She did feel sorry for Daenys though. She cared for the girl more than she cared to admit. She was the only one of the ladies at court who didn't give her son Aemond a hard time over his missing eye, who wouldn't look at him with fear or disgust. She had always been kind to him, and Alicent knew her son's heart belonged wholly to the girl. It was a pity that it had come to this. While the girl herself posed no real threat to Alicent or the crown, especially as Aemond's bride, her family did. 

"Take your wife up to your room Aemond. She needs to rest, the poor girl has worn herself out," Alicent gestured to Daenys's limp body that lay at their feet.

Aemond gathered her up in his arms as carefully as he could and made his way to their shared room. He looked at her with eyes full of remorse. He never meant to hurt her like this. He supposed the cruel part of him wanted to hurt Lucerys, but the part of him that loved Daenys was far greater and so all he was left with was a feeling of emptiness and self-loathing. He wondered if they could ever come back from this. If she would ever forgive him for this crime. He wondered if he even deserved her forgiveness. 

As he gently tucked her into bed, he couldn't resist placing a gentle kiss upon her troubled brow. She whimpered in her slumber.

"I'm sorry Daenys."

#aemond #aemond x oc #lucerys targaryen #jacaerys velaryon #rhaenyra targaryen #aemond one eye #aemond oneshot #house targaryen #house of the dragon #game of thrones #daemon targaryen #alicent hightower #aegon i #viserys targaryen #hotd fanfic #lovers to enemies #canon divergence #house of the dragon aemond #aemond targaryen #original character #daenys targaryen

[meraxesmoon]

Ok, but... What exactly did alicent do wrong tho... Why do people hate her (in the show ppl calm down)

Her being married to viserys was ottos doing ... She didnt have a choice she was a girl who was manipulated by her own father...

Her attacking luke was because he maimed aemond... If my son lost an eye i wouldnt stop until the person who maimed him was dead

"but lucerys was a child" SO WAS AEMOND, and he has to live with the loss of an eye

And lucerys didnt even feel bad... He was laughing when the pig was served at the table at the feast years later

The only thing that you can get her with is not being a very good mother, that i accept but blaming her for defending HER SON... girl...

Now in the book...

I do think shes mother... She such a complex character shes flawed but understands her mistakes... Dont get me wrong she is still mean and vengefull to people she deems as enemies but she has more of a heart than cersei lannister (despite some people trying to say that she is the version of cersei in hotd)

Idk... Some people just see the targaryens as superior beings and skip over their faults because they have dragons and are cooler to watch

I do think rhaenyra is the heir to the throne... But that doesnt mean that she has to be likeable to someone... Or that team black is better because she has dragons... If they werent evenly matched the war wouldnt be one of the most memorable in weteros for years to come

Im sorry for the rant... But im just tired of every team black member calling her alicunt...like... Are you twelve?

Yeah, people like to call Rhaenyra this feminist in Westerosi history, but it's just not true (at least if you believe some of the accounts in the book). Rhaenyra stans are like very extreme about her, and as a joke, that's fine, but most of them are dead serious.

I recently saw a post on TikTok that said the Driftmark scene was just Rhaenyra being a victim, and that's the most chronically online thing I've seen in a while. If you really sit down and think about it, Alicent had every reason to snap. Like, I love Rhaenyra, but she really was getting away with murder. Like, she had three illegitimate children, obviously, and just expected everyone to act like they weren't bastards.

People also say that it doesn't matter that Rhaenyra's children are illegitimate because she's heir to the throne. That makes ZERO sense, especially if you think about how that's treason and against the laws of Westeros. Alicent has every reason to feel bitter and upset about Rhaenyra pulling wool over everyone's eyes.

As for Alicent in the book, I really like her as well. Unlike Alicent in the show, she is in a huge position of power. A lot of people don't realize that she ruled ten times longer than Rhaenyra and Aegon combined. She wasn't this small little pawn being used like she is in the show. I adore both versions, but book Alicent is such a boss ass bitch! Despite her coldness and brutal behavior towards the Blacks, Alicent loves her kids so much in the books. Like, she places her own crown on Helaena's head after Aegon is crowned, she has a lot of faith in her sons, and the fact that Helaena and her children visit Alicent visit her every night before bed definitely says something about how Alicent was with her children.

Alicent in the book is pretty young when she marries Viserys, not as young as in the show. I feel like she was still sort of a victim of Otto, even in the book, but she ends up taking power into her hands because she wants to protect her children.

Notice how the people who hate Alicent would like her a lot if she was in any other type of series. They just don't like her because she's going against Rhaenyra.

Targaryen supremacists are so fucking annoying! If Alicent were a Targaryen woman they wouldn't have a problem with her, and Visenya Targaryen is a prime example of their hypocrisy (she literally usurped Aegon's son lol).

I'm Alicent's biggest defender, and I'll stay that way <3

LIKE LOOK

SHE JUST WANTS TO PROTECT HER CHILDREN

#alicent hightower #rhaenyra targaryen #otto hightower #hotd 2 #hotd #house of the dragon

[flanpucci]

I already talked about why I love Pucci on a logical sort of level but I didn't get in depth about what I think and feel about him as a character and why he stuck with me enough to get him permanently tattooed on my skin so I'm gonna get into it a little bit. Feel free to skip this one because it's not really analysis and delves a tiny bit into interpretation/headcanon so I guess it's more blogposting than anything.

To be honest although I really liked his design and the cool black representation he is, and Whitesnake was instantly my favorite stand, I didn't like him right away, I thought he was a little bit of a weirdo in his introduction scene with Miraschon, and it took some time for him to grow on me. His design and themes land right in the middle of stuff I've been interested in since forever (Christianity, the moon, space, technology, arts, science...) so of course I had an interest in him. I remember that I really liked the fact that even though he's a priest he's knee deep in the occult with the green baby and making Foo Fighters etc, I thought that was super interesting. It took me til the end of the part to root for him, and then when he was defeated, I realized that I wasn't as happy as I should have been lol.

I guess one of the first reasons why I was touched by Pucci on a personal level is that I felt really strongly empathic towards him, and his behavior and actions just let me feel like I caught a glimpse of his many emotions inside, even though he has a thick facade. For example, his loneliness felt very real to me. Having lost most of his family, and his dear ones by his own fault, them being taken away from him, him choosing to live a celibate life in the clergy, shutting himself in a prison for the biggest part of his life... His self inflicted suffering just saddened me a lot deep down inside. He's also got big existential dread, wondering about the greater purpose of his life from his childhood. Isn't this something that touches everyone at some point?

But not many people have their entire beliefs about their existence and identity crushed at a young age in their life. Pucci, when his brother is found out to be alive, has everything that he built himself upon, his justification for being alive, completely shattered. It then turns into tragedy, yet he seems to find a little hope and comfort with Dio, only for them to be crushed again when he dies. And then he holds on to this impossible grief for 22 whole years, unable to accept that his fate in this world is to suffer so much loss. We don't see him sad after his sister died, we don't see him cry or flinch. Living his life in this manner, he surely had to have a lot of pent up emotion, which he surely dealt with by dissociating them from himself and pushing them onto Whitesnake. But not entirely, it's a little 'see-through'. When you think of it, he's amongst the most 'perfect' characters in the series, he's superior, composed, poised, tightly upkept, articulate. He has both an advantage in status and seniority in age over almost everyone in the part. He seems to be well adjusted and respected by people working in the prison, and in the city. Yet he's also very faillible, often prone to panic, he begs for his life at multiple times. Scenes like the frog scene where he slips and messes up the prime number count because there are frogs on his expensive pants make him reek of humanity when otherwise he could easily feel 'out of reach' and inhuman because of how superior he is (like let's say, Kars is, which is a lot of his appeal though!). Same when I recently discovered his watch is worth several thousand dollars. It felt like peeking into his true self right through the wall of righteousness that he built to protect himself and further the plan. His bad sides and inclination towards cardinal sins are really fun to watch and try to notice. That's also why I don't like when people pass him off as a good person, because to me he's really not, he wouldn't be half as interesting if he was! But he's not completely evil either, and as Weather tells him, being so sure that his evil is necessary for a greater purpose is what makes it even more heart breaking to me.

On top of that, his quirks and unique traits make him both very endearing and relatable, especially if you happen to have similar ones! In my case counting has been my primary means of shutting down anxiety attacks for years now, and when I saw him do it too, I automatically felt really drawn to him. Same goes for his ramblings in the worst moments, they made him really stand out, and I felt drawn to him because of some examples he used that hit close to my interests. If you've read my other analysis maybe you know that I tend to interpret him as autistic and so this hits close to home too. In the same manner, the fact that such a cool and powerful character grew up with a canon disability (in his foot) made me feel happy as a disabled person.

There are scenes where he expresses love and devotion very directly and in a raw way, which is very rare, and was also surprising because of how indirect he usually is to make a point... His love for Dio however you wish to interpret the nature of it is deep and sincere and rooted in both despair towards his impossible situation and the hope that maybe another miracle could occur and turn things around for him. I thought the evolution of the way he talks about Dio was really interesting and it moved me to see him very attached to his dear friend. Also the scenes with Dio let us see how sweet and interested he is when he's with someone he gets along with, and how different Dio behaved towards him made me like Dio a lot more too.

When I watched Stone Ocean I had just finished The Outer Wilds and FFXIV Endwalker, and in a way these 3 pieces of media hit the same nerve in me. I was thinking a lot about the purpose of existence and the end of the universe, so I really wanted Pucci to fulfill his potential and go as far as he could, taking the entire universe with him, breaking every rule of his world and becoming bigger than the story itself. It's still how I see him and why I admire him a lot. I was very shaken by his death and the part it played in the entire series. In a sense I get the feeling that he was obsessed with destiny because he knew he was created to do something, and he was right, he was created by Araki only to suffer his horrible backstory, to have everything taken from him. But his extraordinary inability to accept it pushed him to break the wall of the story and try to subtract himself from it, while opening everyone's eyes on the cruelty of the (fictional?) world they live in, and giving humanity the possibility to be at peace with it. The first time I saw the ending, I was completely crushed by the weight Araki put on him, making his total erasure from the world the only condition for everyone's life to suddenly become better, almost perfect. I was disgusted that it was expected from me to be happy that the world was finally rid of him when it all started with an impossible to predict chain of events. Now that I look back at the ending, I think maybe I misunderstood it, and I've decided to believe that he maybe was freed from the curse that was his existence in the story, and that he took upon him many of all the 'wrong' that was in the original world, making it all right for the other characters. I hope Perla is happy in the new universe... Even though this is probably just delusional coping...

Although I feel sorry for Pucci and wish he could have solved his problems differently, I'm glad the story is sad as it is because otherwise I wouldn't have felt so deeply for him. In a sense I felt his pain so strongly that I was instantly drawn emotionally to find a way to 'solve' his situation, he's like I tormented soul that I have to appease, and that's why I pick up a pen and draw, write, or spread love and wholesomeness. That's also why I draw him peaceful or sleeping most of the time, why I bring my plushie to see nice things 😔🫶 I also get a lot of different feelings coming from Araki's way of drawing him throughout the part, and I think Pucci was a character that Araki learned to love and understand along the way too, instead of liking him from the start like he did Dio or Jolyne, but he probably was a lot to handle even for him lol.

Jojo's been one of my favorite mangas for more than 7 years now and I'm so glad Pucci was the last boss for it, embodying and carrying in him the legendary Dio without being overshadowed by such a legendary character, while giving the story and Dio's character the last missing piece of the puzzle to truly tie things up nicely. Saying goodbye to him and to Stone Ocean after watching it also meant saying goodbye to the universe that I had loved and enjoyed for many years so it was bittersweet. In any case he's the peak, the climax, the strongest and has permanently changed the course of one of the best mangas in existence with his actions, and I take a lot of pride in my taste and the fact that my favorite character is the one who did all that haha 😫

And lastly I'd like to say that even if it's not really related to Pucci as a character, this last year that I've been active in fandom, liking him as pushed me to develop my skills, I started drawing, got back into writing, went on trips cause I wanted an excuse to bring him to the Louvre, go out of my way and explore new places when I made that collection of pictures representing the 14 words, made friends, I'm going to Japan soon and I'll be bringing him with me to meet them, he has fueled my imagination and given me more inspiration than I've ever felt, and I'm forever grateful for that. It is not easy nowadays to feel very intense positive emotions, life can be stressful and tiring, so I'm thankful that liking him has given me the push I needed to start doing many new things, interest myself in the wonders of the world, go to church, explore my city, go see art, travel, feed my mind with knowledge and beauty. Heck I even listened to that Handel's CD, it was wonderful. And read an essay on prime numbers when I have math dyslexia!?

I don't know how much deeper I can get without sounding completely off my rocker so I'll leave you guys here, hope you enjoyed and feel free to tell me how you relate to your favorite characters and how much they mean to you!

Fame redraw for illustration by me~

#enrico pucci #pucci #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #stone ocean #jojo #wild as fuck post #i might be crazy #as you can see i dont relate at all with being an obsessive person too /s

[halfblood-princes-crown]

Ok. I'll write the meta. (tw bullying, victim blaming) The two largest moments in HP (the werewolf prank, SWM) which are sympathetic to Snape aren't really that well handled.

The werewolf prank doesn't really have that much impact on the plot. Harry pretty much never thinks about this. For the most part it mainly describes why Snape hates Sirius and Remus so much. And it's so victim-blamey too, with Sirius and Remus demonizing Snape. Plus, it's focused on Remus and Sirius too.

SWM was also really really really badly done. Worse maybe than the prank. Harry's POV just shuts off entirely DURING THE SCENE (I've had people get confused so I'm clarifying. During the scene. Not after). No mention of how Harry feels when the bullying starts, or his disgust and disbelief when he sees Sirius and James start bullying Snape. No conflict when he sees that hey the people he loves weren't really that great. No feelings when he sees the person he hates being hurt by the people he loves. ETC.

(SWM is so hard to write meta on for this reason).

And the aftermath isn't really that great either. It's okay for a while, but then it's neatly tied up by Remus and Sirius saying 'oh he liked dark arts, he wasn't that great, James changed THE END' Harry is satisfied with that. And then Harry pretty much never thinks about it again (with like one exception I think). Even when Snape sabotages his potion, even when he's around Remus and Sirius. Even in the aftermath where Snape reveals he was Harry's much adored Half Blood Prince and goes on about the history of 'levicorpus.'

I get that Harry has valid reason to hate Snape but at the same time I'd think finding out your role models did pretty awful stuff and sitting in class with your parent's victim (who hates you due to that bullying) would cause the issue to be more prominent in Harry's mind, especially since he's a victim of bullying himself and canonically is very adverse to people who remind him of Dudley, his own bully.

Wow, that last paragraph hit me in the chest lol

I love that you brought up Harry’s aftermath of Remus and Sirius’ dismissal.

Although Harry did call some bullshit when recalling that Remus had told him that he was made a prefect specifically to tone James and Sirius down but in the memory he stood and watched, and how it only happened because Sirius announced his boredom (which made me happy that he recognized those things), it was disappointing that he let it go so quickly

I think JK wrote it like that because she didn’t intend on him being viewed in a sympathetic manner. That’s why she skipped over it with Harry. It’s from his POV but she’s the writer. If she doesn’t care then she’ll write him to forget about it or ignore it after a couple of scenes, which, like you said, is contradicting to his character considering his feelings towards bullies.

She lacks sympathy and brain cells, and she doesn’t have a great attitude when it comes to Snape. The most she did was clear up the “he’s a villain” crap, so it’s not a surprise, but even though she wrote it that way, I think the situations alone is enough to sympathize for ppl who are naturally sympathetic.

The people in the fandom who don’t sympathize with these incidents just lack sympathy in general. The situations are pretty clear: attempted murder, purposely seeking someone out with malicious intent, torture (choking with soap is equivalent to water boarding which is torture), forcefully stripping someone in public (a minor at that). I don’t see what’s so hard to grasp for some people.

I also think a general misconception is that sympathy = liking the character which is completely not true. You can recognize and address indecency without loving the victim. It’s an excuse.

#love the meta! #severus snape #pro severus snape #pro snape #snape community #hp fandom

[oldmemoria]

i thought about this last night but um

SPOILERS for True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys: National Anthem

i love the kind of symbolism we see with mike milligram of all the older more "childish" items he holds onto, hear me out.

So we see Mike holding this cheesy little vampire ring during the gathering scene where we first meet the rest of the killjoys, particularly when we learn that he's in a relationship with Code Blue and want's to take it a step further with marriage. They're all teenagers in this scene, assumedly maybe at least 16 at most 19 (because thats when you arent a teen anymore lol- after 20 you arent a teen duh). He's hiding it behind his back and seems to be just about to pop the question.

then, Blue dies in a standoff, just because he didn't want to move on and comply to the brainwashing tv. Blue literally jumps in front of him and takes the bullet (laser? whatever) for him. When she dies, he lashes out.

later on in the timeskip we see that Mike is basically hooked to the TV. hes fallen asleep to it and is only waken up by a rat chewing on the chords. this isn't entirely important to my point but I still feel like mentioning it because it tells us one thing: Because of Mike's grieving, he basically had no choice but to run back and give everything up. His grief, in turn, is what led him to actually start going back to how he was before, going against an authoritarian government run by a monopoly.

This leads Mike to realize that everything around him isn't what it seems, not only is he withdrawing from The TV, but he's also withdrawing from the effects of the pills he (and the rest of society) is on. He's hallucinating, but not fully. We know as readers that things aren't right in his life -- in anyone's life -- because of this.

once we reach the scene where he learns about his Ramones records being sanitized and the technician here to fix his tv is actually some kind of plant (overall, everyone trying to uphold the brainwashing system is doing so maliciously). Mike kills this plant, and we get to the next sighting of the vampire ring that we saw in that first scene I mention before. He finds it, remembers Blue (also to note theres a paper that says "SO REAL IT HURTS" on it right next to the ring, like thats so obvious that I looked over it), and holds onto it.

lets skip to the climax, where we're revealed to see "Blue" (this time either her reanimated corpse or some kind of clone, it isn't really specified) again, Mike shuts down. almost instantly. He's so close to giving in and going back to being brainwashed, but he stops for a moment. this is the kind of breaking point where we see his arc hit its breaking point and reach its conclusion.

Mike's individual character arc is about letting go. Letting go of grief. Letting go of the past. Progressing forward, no matter how much it hurts.

When he gets his gun back and shoots the clone of Blue HIMSELF, that is him signifying that he has to move on. for the sake of not only himself but for his son, his friends, everyone.

And in this last moment.

He puts her body in the car. and prepares to light it on fire.

and that is the last time we see the ring. He slips it onto her finger right before the car is set ablaze.

UGH ITS BEAUTIFUL. the ending is BEAUTIFUL.

a perfect illustration of how Mike had to get past his grief for the betterment of himself.

and even in the end, he isn't completely forgetting her. He isn't just tossing her aside, he's just saying "It's time I moved on. I won't let my anger and grief drag me down, but I will remember you."

and it's all made clear with that little ring. THE FUCKING RING DUDE.

It's a little plastic ring, usually associated with youth because it's usually found in gift bags or cereal boxes. something synthetic and cheap. Easy to break, usually thrown away right away. Mike is seen not only getting better from his grief but also maturing. Which is great for him. It's something in his past that he had to move on from, but could still hold the memory of.

also like a little side note but vampirism is sometimes depicted as being a kind of toxic, dependent force. A leech. the ring having a vampire on it is like... really good symbolism for that, MAYBE IM GOING TOO FAR IDK IDK-

#gerard way #my chemical romance #mcr #danger days #danger days the true lives of the fabulous killjoys #ttlotfk #mcr danger days #the true lives of the fabulous killjoys #true lives of the fabulous killjoys #no proofreading we die like men #comics #gerard way comics #true lives of the fabulous killjoys national anthem #mike milligram #fuck does anyone else see this #please i cant be the only one

[silverpelt3600]

Halo 2x6 Spoilers

Alright I watched the latest episode! Didn’t quite take notes like I normally do so this is more like a general summary/analysis based off memory.

- I think this episode was a really good look at John’s mindset now. He is on a warpath seeking vengeance on whoever he can. Obviously, it’s anger sourced, but I think it’s interesting to see how he still appears composed to a certain extent because of his background and training. Also shout out John for looking like a badass always especially when he’s breaking out and kicking ass.

- Also, Cortana! She is in a tricky situation for sure. But when he was able to talk to John it was really interesting to see how quickly he went back to automatically relying on her, even for something like opening doors. When she first talked to him it was crazy to see how his posture literally changed. He seemed more relaxed, there was actually a smile I think at some point?! He missed his girl. But I do think it was smart of Cortana to change his target to another person rather than an entirely new goal when trying to get him up and to the artifact. She quickly caught on that he was on a warpath and she worked around that really well.

- And before that sequence the scenes with him and Kai just broke my heart. Kai has always been really good at taking a given order and following it as best as she can, and I totally feel for her. She’s got her heart set on doing a good job but also John is her friend. I think she handled it as good as she could have given that there was a camera on her, and bringing it up later to Ackerson (I think that’s his name) was also a good move I think. She’s risked him not trusting his ability to control her and therefore her access to information is likely now limited, but she stayed true to herself to an extent. I do think she’ll likely run into John interacting with the artifact next episode and have a substantial conversation.

As for everyone else:

- Also I’m sorry but Halsey is just getting on my nerves lol. The cave sequence and the “can we just skip this part?”, like, alright miss unempathetic.

- Interesting that Soren is choosing to not tell his wife about the place’s connection to his history. Idk if it’s better to continue not saying it so she doesn’t freak out that her son is being trained to be a spartan likely, or to tell her the truth so that she’s aware of everything and risk her flipping out.

Anyways, that’s kinda what my thoughts are right now. I’ll try and make sure I get back on my normal format next week lol.

#halo tv show #halo the series #halo #john 117 #master chief #thoughts #stream of thoughts

[j-ellyfish]

I was today years old when I discovered that, apparently, Shounen Jump doesn't allow women to be editors/helpers 🙃 now it may be false information, but that would help explain why WS is the way it is now... To this day I am baffled that Hetalia is considered shounen/seinen... I understand that unfortunately shoujo/josei isn't as popular, but I very seldom see men, even jp men (which are apparently the supposed main audience) be fans of Hetalia or supporting its merch. Most of the money Hetalia gets seems to come from jp women. Hell, it doesn't even seem to be a Bungou Stray Dogs case where they make the series appealing for both genders. With it's lack of shounen-esque battles, latent homoerotic content (especially in the ye old days), fanservice which even to this day is 90% of the time focused on the male characters... I have to wonder, what does this series have going on for a male cishet audience? The very ocasional boob joke? The (now practically nonexistent) historical content? I'm confused...

Sorry for the rant, I hope it isn't too much 😅

[Sorry this post became pretty long because I can't shut the hell up!]

I looked a bit into it and, unfortunately, it seems to be true. Apparently they use "you need to understand what's in a young boy's heart" as an excuse to sort of gatekeep women from having a career as an editor with them.

I have read a couple articles about this, and the way Shueisha seems to dismiss the issue is pretty disturbing. The later deleted tweets from the (female) author of Rocking You!!! really speaks volume of the situation beyond any corporate clarification Shueisha released on the matter:

[Source] [Source]

Sadly, the manga&anime mainstream/dominant scene is still pretty sexist and it's no wonder that many female and/or queer artists prefer to engage in more niche, somewhat still frowned upon genres like BL or Josei, at least they probably have more freedom there when it comes to sharing stories since they don't need to appeal to what a narrow-minded, sexist and conservative mindset still deems as manga's main demography - cishet male teens and young men ... Which is, well, the reason why most shows are required to have cute lil' objectified girlies as fanservice (I'm not against fanservice per se but you know what I mean, it's how unbalanced it is between genders in "romance/sexual-neutral" stories - like Shounen are supposed to be! - what makes it overwhelming and insulting) even if they don't even need it as a crutch for engagement.

Personally, I believe Hetalia's og target as a Seinen wasn't wrong. I think that Himaruya being a man did have an impact in how Hetalia came to be and how its comedy and characters, and even art style developed. It wouldn't feel right to me to call it a Shoujo or a Josei. The problem with this traditional classification is that what's a Shoujo/Josei wasn't quite established as "what girls want to see", but rather "what boys typically aren't interested in." And obviously, this soon led to the over-simplified and kinda sexist idea that Shounen=Action-packed battles; Shoujo=Romance. Many Shounen and Seinen have quite a large female presence in their fandoms despite being traditionally seen as the "boys/men's manga", whereas it is less likely for a boy or a man to be very into a Shoujo, and even less into a Josei (or, rather, it is less likely for a male to share this interest because of good ol' toxic masculinity).

In any case, while searching some stuff to form my own opinion and answer, i came across this page where they said "if a series does not fit into any other category such as Shonen or Shojo, then it will be put under Seinen", and honestly I think it makes the most sense for Hetalia.

For how I see it, the "problem" with targetizing Hetalia is that Himaruya never thought about it becoming popular when he started it. His mindset was "let's post this random silly one-time thing I came up with after engaging in a thread on 2Chan while passing time as a student in New York". There wasn't any intended 'commercial use', there was no business planning beforehand. It'd be like trying to put a target on, I dunno, some everyday life meme-y comics you find daily on social media. They have no inherent target, though they might end up resonating with one group of people more than others. But you cannot know until the thing actually starts resonating with an audience.

The 2Chan threads in question, according to the informations I gathered, actually dealt with topics that tend to resonate with a male audience more: a debate about military weapons and strategies used in WW2 that culminated with talking about Italy's military failures of the time; and how Japan will literally make moe girlies as personifications for anything. Himaruya just had this idea, definitely influenced by his time spent in a multiethnic background while he was in the US, to fundamentally make a comic inspired by those moe female personifications but have them be moe guys instead.

It would've been very hard for Himaruya to foresee the attention his work would've gotten, let alone the kind of audience that would actually be interested in it. Sure, Himaruya apparently called himself a Fudanshi once (I have no source for this though so take it with a grain of salt!) and it's not hard to believe, but Hetalia is very atypical even for a BL-leaning series.

Let's not forget that the first one-shot Hetalia strip was posted on Hima's blog in 2006. And, let's say, things back then were quite different. Yaoi/BL wasn't nearly as popular as it became later, and mainstream media didn't really discover the power of fanservice aimed at a female audience yet (that would come much, much later and kind of peaked with Free!, which I believe really made a difference in how anime business would perceive the true power of this kind of fanservice from then on). In 2006, not even Junjou Romantica had gotten an anime yet, and as much as I honestly dislike JR, it played a big role in making BL more popular because prior to that BLs could barely aspire to get anything more than a couple OVAs. The few that did get a proper anime season (like Gravitation, Loveless and Sukisho) still didn't get as much of a hype to make the "male-dominated mainstream community" notice their existence like JR somehow did.

I'm not even sure the kind of "fanservice" Hetalia made/makes use of was a thing in 2006. Like, you know, all those anime we have now that have tons of homoerotic subtext, a predominantly or exclusively male cast, are targeted at least partially at a female audience but never actually dip into romance or make anything really canon? I'm no expert, but I don't think they were a thing back then, and if they did they were quite niche. Perhaps Hetalia also changed the male perception of female audience in manga/anime spaces. Hetalia fans back then were quite ostracized and shamed merely for being girls enjoying a show with a kind of content that most cishet males - used to their shows with everything geared towards them (and girls confined to the "Romance Shoujo enclosure") - couldn't quite comprehend. I've seen so many male anime fans, back in the day, making fun of us simply for being girls and enjoying a comedy that features hot guys with all the homoerotic subtext they wouldn't bat an eye at if it was between female characters.

However it is worth noting that, while most Hetalia fans are girls or women, it has a minority of male fans as well. One of the two friends that actually introduced me to Hetalia was a boy, and I was introduced to it together with three other friends, one of which was a boy too - we all loved it at first sight! An Italian Youtuber I occasionally follow revealed that his very first manga was Hetalia and although he only picked it up to get closer to the girl he liked, I guess he didn't hate it enough to just drop it and "unlike" that girl lol I saw reactions of a few other guys to Hetalia episodes and none of them hated it, they even laughed at some jokes! I believe that many men are simply prejudiced against Hetalia because of internalized sexism or toxic masculinity, especially if they're aware of the fandom's main activity being shipping (lol).

I don't think Himaruya made any of his """fanservice""" with an actual fanservice-y intent, he simply, genuinely drew what he, before anyone else, enjoyed drawing. Unlike a lot of fanservice out there, Hetalia's never feels forced, it is very genuine.

[Conclusion; if you wanna skip what's above lol]

I don't think it's fair to say that Hetalia willingly attempts to appeal to women. I feel like Hetalia, at least pre-HWS Hetalia, appealed to Himaruya before and foremost. It just so happened that Himaruya's taste aligned more with a female audience, despite being actually funny in a gender-neutral way that way too many cishet guys dismiss because of (I guess?) fragile masculinity and fandom prejudice.

So, keeping that into account, I really do not think it'd be fair to call Hetalia a Shoujo or a Josei. And it isn't fair to call it a Shounen either, because we see how Hetalia's essence and humor was undoubtedly butchered by Shounen Jump+'s editing and rules, that simply do not align with either Hetalia's spirit nor its main audience's expectations.

As a Seinen, Hetalia had freedom to be whatever it wanted because Seinen tends to have more loose rules for what is or isn't allowed in one. Because its target of "adult men" is basically, de facto, a neutral catch-all label. Josei tends to be too involved in classic Shoujo dynamics and themes, albeit in a more mature sauce, and while there are exceptions I feel, in all the (few) Josei I crossed path with, there is a certain je-ne-sais-quoi that makes it undoubtedly more inherently feminine than Hetalia is.

It's funny because this whole debate over Hetalia's target kind of reminds me of how the very first BL, Kaze To Ki No Uta, is classified as a Shoujo because back then Yaoi didn't exist as an official genre. When you make something revolutionary that defies pre-existing rules and boxes, it's hard to slap a specific label on it that feels right.

#hetalia #this is long but I hope it wasn't too boring lol #actually I'm curious so I'm going to make a poll about this #what genre is Hetalia?? HETALIA IS HETALIA lol #ary spoke #ask

[innocentimouto]

Honestly if Jet joined the Gaang, the shipping wars would be between Jetara and Zutara.

I think Jet would shut down some of Aang's "antics" regarding his behavior and his relationship with Katara. He'd probably would have Aang keep a distance from Katara in order to feel focus ( such as when he had to choose to let Katara go or not in the Guru episode). He'd probably be in favor of Aang letting go if it meant the Fire Nation's war would be over.

I'm not sure Kataang would even be able to develop as it could with Jet being right there.

I'm not even sure Kataang would happen if Jet and Katara developed further romantically. Although I don't ship it - I prefer my crackship of Jet and Haru lol- I'd probably be in favor of them over K/A and even Z/K.

Also, if Jet joined earlier, it might've made Zuko's redemption more shallow as Jet would've already fulfilled that role.

Outside of Aang kissing Katara in the play episode, nothing about his behavior seemed wrong to me. He always supported Katara. When she stole the waterbending scroll, Sokka was lecturing her over it while Aang laughed at how she contextualized it. For the fandom claiming he's incapable of seeing her anything other than perfect, he didn't have a problem with her stealing.

That episode is a prime example of how kind Aang is to Katara. And it even shows how the narrative makes Katara apologize so many times for

stealing a waterbending scroll that's actually useful for her and Aang.

It helped her get better, which is possibly the only reason she even lasted against Pakku, meaning Aang probably would have had to stay at the North for longer if Katara hadn't got a chance to learn.

She was able to help Aang in fights after that.

reclaiming a part of her culture that was stolen from her

Zuko being at the island because Iroh wanted a game tile, yet Iroh blames her

Sokka has many lines of blaming her, her being obsessed with waterbending, endangering all of them, and yet when on Kiyoshi Island, when Katara told Aang they needed to leave soon because it wasn't safe and then was proven right, Aang admits he was wrong, Katara doesn't blame him, and they leave. End of story. Sokka isn't even in the equation here.

The writing is very different, but ironically the only one who actually judges Katara is Sokka. Aang has always been supportive, except when she was planning on killing someone in a clearly upset state.

The whole thing about Aang having to let go of Katara to activate the Avatar state doesn't make sense to me because this was never true for any of the previous avatars. And he activates it again later anyway.

I lean more toward Jetara than Kataang, but it's not impossible for Kataang to happen with Jet in the group.

Sorry when it comes to shipping culture and the like, I'm the worst because I'm that one person who will read a major shipping fic just to see good writing of my favorite character, and good friendships, and skip every romantic scene. I have a few ships I like yeah, but romance as a genre doesn't work for me, despite me trying to enjoy it. So if there would be a love triangle if Jet was there, or jealousy or drama, any of that doesn't appeal to me. The drama and messiness of romantic tropes can make for really entertaining stories but I am not the intended audience.

I don't think Jet having a redemption arc would make Zuko's shallow because Zuko was on the side of the oppressing nation and was desiring his "rightful place on the throne" for a long time. Jet was entirely different. Besides even if say Zuko actually had a redemption arc, it's not like they're all written the same way.

Not all of them have to end with befriending the main cast, or with complete forgiveness. I enjoy when characters rightfully dislike someone for some injustice, but have to work together for a common goal and still don't become friends. Just because someone has apologized, or has helped, doesn't mean the character deserves forgiveness. It's also a more interesting dynamic than all is forgiven, to me at least. Especially because then it truly emphasizes the person wants to change not for someone's forgiveness or good graces, but because they recognize they did wrong and want to change.

Besides Zuko joined right after a failed invasion. That is EXTREMELY suspicious. The kids just got separated from their people and fathers, and now the prince of the Fire Nation shows up. Zuko joined at the worst possible time. My first question, if I didn't attack immediately, would have been why didn't Zuko help during the invasion?

#atla #anti zutara #Jet #atla jet #Jetara #Zuko critical

[its-chelisey-stuff]

well, nobody dumps trauma on the younger counterparts of main leads like this writer. In retrospective, I should've known who was the evil mastermind behind it lol

I am conflicted about their specific trauma, but I am enamored with the characters and want to protect them so badly. I find their story so tragic and I'm so sad that the happy ending will belong to the older protagonists and not the young ones, because damn, they didn't have enough laughter and love around them. When will these young actors not deal with such heavy storylines?? So unfair.

Drama portrays so well the fact that trauma works in such different ways for people and how we show it. The first thing we notice about this guy is that he's quiet, reserved, stoic and very dedicated at school. The first thing we know about him is that nothing comes for free, as he uses every opportunity to get money and just before we think he loves money and dreams of getting out this town and this provincial life blah blah, we find out the truth and that all the money is for him to get away from his abusive ass of a father who beats him everyday. Ugh. My jaw dropped to the floor, I swear. I was shocked. I HATE HATE HATE this so much. You have to be an insect of the lowest kind, utterly disgusting, if you hit your children. People like that shouldn't be allowed to procreate.

But then, right after this, literally the next scene, we find out her father also beats her and I swear to God I was screaming and pulling my hair because whyyyy ???poor children. They do not deserve this. Their house is the place where they should feel the safest, not the place where they walk on eggshells and are afraid of even making a noise. Their parents should be the people who make them feel the safest, not the ones who make their nightmares come true. This right here is something I hate seeing represented in media, so watching it was pretty difficult for me. In fact, I'd advise people who are triggered by this to skip scenes or the entire episode, because the domestic abuse scenes were pretty realistic. And so loud.

But trauma for our young female lead it's different. She tries to escape from it and leave it at her house, and so she is bright, happy and over-the-top silly teen at school. She tries to enjoy, even if it's a facade. Because this is her way to cope. And her music.

I loved how he tried to reassure her and calm her down. Even if they haven't been friends for so long, he already knows her and understands her in a way no one else does. He's such a kind and selfless soul, despite everything and no matter if he's the second or main lead (more on that later), I'm rooting for him to live happily.

I really wanted for them to get away together, and live in Seoul, being adopted by her idol and brand new CEO. I wanted them to grow up together and happy, but I knew exactly where this was going, not only because of the premise and the writer, but also because this is dramaland. So when he told her they had to run away, I knew they wouldn't make it.

We are presented with a dilemma of who is the endgame here, but right now I don't care that much. I only want for this girl to live her life and finally achieve her dream of meeting her idol and be a singer. Still, we must acknowledge the elephant in the room and I've seen second male lead has glasses, so that's either the drama telling us the answer OR trying to confuse us. I find that I'm okay if he is the young kid who bravely stood up to her violent father just so he could give her time to escape.

But my money is on my human golden retriever. Aww, it's such a sight for sore eyes to see Chae JongHyeop in a main role again after almost a year and a half. He was amazing in Love All Play.

So yes, this is the writer of Start Up (does anyone else get PTSD from how toxic the fandom was back then? No? just me?) so we know she's gonna make it a point to drag this love triangle for a while. But this is also the writer of Pinocchio, While you were Sleeping and I hear Your Voice (my personal favorite), so *fingers crossed*

#castaway diva #kdrama #park eun bin #i just really want to know what happened to HIS father #because i hated him so much #and he is a cop on top of it all #and made the poor girl apologize to her abusive father after she called the cops ugh

[amuhav]

Get to Know Me - Sims Style

tagged by @dandylion240 (if anyone else did too I’m sorry, I’m not seeming to get notifs for tags rn???)

tagging @keibea​ because we need more TS3 rep in tag games like this tbh.

What’s your favorite Sims death?

Old age. Because it means my sim actually made it that far and I just love seeing their life play out. Some of the more quirky, simsy ones are great though. Death by Jellybean or Cowplant come to mind lol.

Alpha CC or MaxisMatch?

I... really don’t like the TS4 MM aesthetic 😅 I really don’t like the clay hair look for my own sims, though think some people do wonderful things with it, and I do like certain Maxis Mix styles, good skin details with clay hair, certain stylised MM styles etc. but the default TS4 clay look is literally why I never moved over to TS4 in the first place, and it took too long for the Alpha scene to really take off in the beginning, so by the time there was enough CC for me to feel I would ever want to jump in, it felt too overwhelming to even try moving to essentially a new medium.

For TS3... I also am not a huge fan of the straight “MM” look either, though I think the distinction is less prominent as it is in TS4. You can easily make most “MM” stuff fit in an “alpha” game simply because they aren’t usually full-on clay the way TS4 MM is, they’re just not quite as detailed as full “alpha” CC. Whereas the other way around isn’t quite as true, intricately detailed alpha stuff might look out of place if most of your other content is vanilla or MM. So I think as well as preferring the aesthetic, I like the flexibility a more “alpha” leaning style can bring.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

Storywise, characters are obviously whatever size I make them lol. 

Uh. I don’t know about weight, because I don’t think any of my sims have put on a lot of weight during gameplay. I have definitely cheated muscle levels though. Traumatic flashbacks to Loch suddenly getting BULKED whilst I was letting him run free during Riv’s BC. Absolutely not you little twink.

Do you move objects?

For gameplay, I used to try to minimise doing so just cos it breaks so much routing and stuff. Now I don’t play so I go nuts with MOO. Who needs working doors or stairs or beds anyway?

Favourite Mod?

So many mods for TS3 are kinda essential to even be able to run the game lol, like almost the entire NRAAS suite. I think I’ll have to go with the Remove Stencil mod though, cos being able to undo EA’s weird obsession with shiny clothes by removing the specular is honestly so lifechanging LOL. no more shiny wool jumpers or oil slick jeans 🥰

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

My first TS3 expansion was Ambitions, because I skipped World Adventures, in fact, I think it was one of the last expansions I bought lol. 

Believe it or not, I do actually own one EP, one GP, and one SP for TS4 lmao, back when I thought maybe, just MAYBE. the game might get better, and I was still trying so damn fuckin hard to force myself to enjoy the actual gameplay. So I have Get to Work, but don’t even ask me what the other two are because I haven’t a fuckin’ clueeeee. 

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

...It just occurred to me maybe it is meant to be “LIV” mode because it’s... like. Living mode. Like, Alive Mode doesn’t make sense. But my brain won’t accept it. doesn’t sound right. Always been “LIVE” mod to me lol.

Who’s your favourite sim that you’ve made?

Oh, jeez. Uhhh, I can’t *really* claim most of my current legacy sims because I didn’t make them, they were born in-game, even if I have tweaked the hell out of them in recent years. So if we’re going for physical appearance, I wanna say actually maybe Sylvie for my TS3 sims? She took so long to get just right, especially because TS3 doesn’t really do curvier sims quite as well as TS4, especially not without a fuck ton of sliders, and I had a really specific look to her face in mind that took forever to get right, had to blend her a custom skin etc. But I am finally super happy with her cute lil sassy round face 🥰 Close runners up are probably Qu or Edge.

God, I’m gonna get so fucking shot for this but here goes. Physically, my fave TS4 sims I’ve made are actually both of Tay’s brothers, Ethryon and Ailos, and also probably father, Qariel. I think because I had a little more experience with using TS4 CAS by the time I got to them, more sliders, more skin details, just generally a fuck ton more CAS CC by then, and more time to tweak them etc. As much as Tay will always be my favourite sim OVERALL... yeah. plznoonekillmebye

Have you made a simself?

Ye. I used to update her like. all the timeee too, whenever I got a new haircut etc. And, ofc, Havoc was my alter ego so she’s like. simself adjacent lol.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

God I hate EA’s hair colours in TS3. their blondes are so yellow, the highlights don’t blend well etc. always make my own. TS4 hair colours make me want to actually die, but then again, I hate the clay hair and cartoony colours of vanilla TS4 anyway, so.

Favourite EA hair?

Favourite life stage?

Young Adult, with Teens a close second. You can do the most with the YA age, but the chaos of teenage years are real fun too lol.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I literally can’t play lmao. I have too much CC in TS3 for it to run well enough to play, and TS4... is it even possible to play TS4? joking joking... mostly. I’m in it for the story.

Are you a CC creator?

No. Never. I do not have a CC page I abandoned whatsoever no idea what you’re talking about goodbye. 💀

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

RBSB represent. 

No I hate everyone equally.

@lazysunjade and @thesimperiuscurse have no choice but to be talked at by me every day. I’m inescapable. 

Do you have any sims merch?

I actually had the TS3 Collectors edition that came with the Plumbob USB and I was devastated when it got broken. Like legitimately heart broken lol. 

Miss her so much I just want her back

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Ew.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

I used to try so hard to stick to whatever gameplay threw at me, following the actual legacy rules, not editing sims etc, all to the detriment of my actual enjoyment of storytelling. Now I care maybe a little too much about how posts look that I get into a rut of not posting oops bye 💀

What’s your origin id?

Probably the same as my username here lol, but I avoid origin at all costs so couldn’t tell you for sure tbh.

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

Oh, way too many to choose. For sims 3 CAS stuff, the still active converters like @rollo-rolls, @vmsims23, @simtanico etc. for build and clutter stuff @kerriganhouse, and @martassimsbookcc for conversions. Honestly, I’m kinda out of the loop atm, but there’s just way too many good creators.

How long have you had simblr?

uh. since 2015, I think? let’s not dwell on it 💀

How do you edit your pictures?

Dunno how to answer this? Photoshop, I guess lol? 

What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite?

It used to be pets, cos I loved having animals in the game. Now I always forget they exist oop lol. Probably Supernatural. 

#tag game #saviourhide #tagged #dandylion240 #this is so long I almost don't want to post it now ugh #delete later