amuhav

[amuhav]

     Loch bit his lip hard, wishing he’d just taken Asher’s offer to drop the conversation, wishing he could have dragged it out for even just one more day.       “I’m sorry,” he whispered as Asher stepped closer.      “I know.”      “I love you so much.” His voice trembled.      “I know that too.”      Loch knew he could make all this disappear for good—surprise Asher and give him everything he wanted with one short sentence. He also knew he wouldn’t be able to take it back. Especially right now, when it was clear Asher had resigned himself to hearing the opposite. There would be no coming back from that. He couldn’t do it. Even if it meant losing everything.      “I... I don’t want children.”       ...Why didn’t that feel right? He knew he already had doubts, but now that he’d finally said it out loud, it sounded even more wrong, a lie to his own ears. Still, it felt kinder than whatever the far more complicated truth was.      Asher breathed deeply and, with a voice that almost didn’t crack at all, answered softly, “I know.”      Loch looked up hesitantly to meet his eye. There was a sadness there, but it wasn’t overwhelming; more of a heavy-hearted acceptance. Though it clearly didn’t come easy, Asher smiled softly at him.      “N-now what?” Loch asked.      “Hm? What do you mean?”      “Wh-what happens now?”      Asher chuckled weakly. “Nothing? What did you expect?”      “...Questions? I-I don’t know. Negotiation? Something?”      Asher sighed awkwardly. “Maybe, some time ago, I might have tried. But... ‘why’ doesn’t matter. You made up your mind a long time ago, I think. I... Sometimes I tricked myself into thinking you might not have, even though deep down I knew. I never meant to pressure you, I swear, and I’m sorry. It’s just, when you don’t have an answer, it’s hard not to see every little thing as a sign that maybe...” He shook himself. “Anyway. I don’t think drunk you has the capacity to explain, and drunk me certainly can’t take it all in. So. You want to explain sometime, I’ll listen. Until then...”

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#ts3 #Karaish Legacy #Loch Karaish #Asher Rayleigh Hyde #I'm Mist and Havoc and Sylvie when they find out the direction Loch has decided to take. #'oh great you FINALLY talked... you told him wot?' #*whiteguyblinking.gif*

[amuhav]

     “I wasn’t upset you didn’t tell me. I wasn’t even upset about the real reason you didn’t tell me. I was hurt...” Asher paused, looking upwards as he drew in a breath to bring his tone back to something more neutral. “I was hurt because you think that’s a way to not talk about the real problem. I’m hurt you think avoiding reality is a way to avoid answering a question I haven’t even asked. Haven't been allowed to ask. You think because you don’t say it, not only do you not have to face it, but I won’t, and that’s... that’s just not how that works, Loch.”      Loch dropped his eyes to the ground, stomach churning.      “We keep circling like it will just resolve itself, but we’re making ourselves miserable pretending this doesn’t exist. It’s not just you; I know I’ve not pushed harder in the hope the outcome might change. But you’re walking on eggshells of your own making, and I’m tired of tiptoeing around so you don’t have to break them. Tired of my mind tricking me that them still being unbroken means something. So just... do it already. Just break them.”

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#ts3 #Karaish Legacy #Loch Karaish #Asher Rayleigh Hyde #0_0 #for what it's worth Ash had a good long chat with Havoc #it basically went 'why don't you talk to him about it' 'because he won't let me' 'well that's bullshit just fucking talk' lmao #tho the plan was to do that sober lol #I do think he needed to be clear he's ready to hear the truth tho #probably Loch's biggest barrier in saying anything so far

[amuhav]

     “I am sorry.”      “I know.”      “No, I mean...” Loch faltered, fidgeting with the fabric of his shirt.      “I know.” Asher broke eye contact, drawing a deep breath. “I’m not mad you didn’t tell me...”      It didn’t require sober clarity to notice the unsaid ‘but’ as he trailed off.      “But you are still mad?” Loch asked quietly.      “No. I’m not.” With a brittle smile, Asher returned his gaze to Loch. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. It was stupid. This isn’t the time or place. I know that.”      Loch shifted wordlessly. He could have dealt with anger, or even bitterness. Something to push against. Anything that backed him into a corner. Anything that... that made Asher the unreasonable one.      Ew. That wasn’t a comfortable thought.      “Then... why?” Loch bit his lip, not even sure why he was pushing.      Asher regarded him silently for a while, his expression now blank. “We both know the problem. We don’t have to do this right now,” he eventually said, his tone measured. “A plush, really high-thread-count hotel bed we’re not even paying for is waiting upstairs. We can do this when we’re home. And sober.”      When Loch didn’t respond, Asher sighed wearily.      “Fine.” 

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#ts3 #Karaish Legacy #Loch Karaish #Asher Rayleigh Hyde #yeeee you ever realise you're subconsciously hoping the other person starts a confrontation #because it's easier to let things out in an outburst than it is to be emotionally vulnerable? no? just me and Loch? kbye.

[amuhav]

     “You okay?”      Loch pinched his eyes closed tighter. While, for the most part, it was comforting to know that Asher would put things on hold to ensure he was okay, there were times when it was too much. Times when, actually, Loch needed to feel... Upset? Frustrated? Hell, even a panicked freakout once in a while, without the added layer of feeling guilty for making his partner worry.       “I’m fine. Just...” He sighed. “Drunk.”      A half-amused exhale. “Shocking.”      Loch turned to see Asher not looking particularly sober himself. To Loch’s surprise, he didn’t look too upset either, with a thin smile upon his face.       “I’m... sorry?”      Asher raised a brow. “What for?”      Loch hesitated. “Not... telling you?”      Asher shrugged. “You were right; not your secret to tell.”      That wasn’t what he expected. Loch frowned. “...Are you okay?”      “Why wouldn’t I be?”      Ah. There it was, under that almost easygoing mask. Not resentment, at least, not aimed in Loch’s direction. A dejected disappointment, not just at Loch, but turned inwards. Regret. Loch squirmed; that didn’t exactly make him feel any better.

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#ts3 #Karaish Legacy #ts3 legacy #Loch Karaish #Asher Rayleigh Hyde #'just let me die in peace' what a mood #Loch's lil baby face is killing me bye

[amuhav]

     Loch leant heavily against the cool brick wall, taking deep breaths against the mild yet rising nausea. He’d been fine until the first sip of the last drink hit. It was almost always the way, knowing his limit only once it was too late. This time, though, he was sure his rolling stomach was caused more by his sister’s words than the alcohol.     Part of Loch knew something had to be going on with Mist for her to act like that. The only time he’d ever seen her snap at anyone was during teenage bickering, mostly with River, but nothing that intense. Still, in his drunken state, much of that was buried by how her words had made him feel.      It wouldn’t be a problem at all if you just fucking talked about it...       Just accept this is what you want and get on with it...      Those felt like two very different problems. The first was becoming more and more immediate, but seemed entirely unsolvable without knowing if the second was even true. And Loch knew he couldn’t work that out just by talking it out. He knew their relationship well enough that even if Ash wasn’t actively trying to convince him, Loch might still make a decision based on the wrong things, for all the wrong reasons. It’s what they did. Even without talking about it, he still wasn’t sure his existing elusive, nebulous thoughts on the subject weren’t for those exact same wrong reasons.

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#ts3 #Karaish Legacy #ts3 legacy #Loch Karaish #randomly back to posting story 3 months later no warning #hash tag on brand.

[amuhav]

the healing pool

Thick air struck his face immediately, uncomfortably humid and smelling strongly of damp earth. He paused to adjust, each breath filling his lungs with such density, he momentarily felt as if he were drowning. His heart sank; the place had certainly fallen into disrepair since his last childhood visit. Mould colonised corners and a film of grime clung to every surface, leaving everything unpleasantly slick to the touch, each step precarious. Unlike the adornments of the palace, with their artistically applied verdigris, the blue-green patina here was not by design, beginning to spread in random patches over the dulling copper trimmings. The lone soulwood tree, whilst taller than last he saw it, still was not the size one would expect for its age. Perhaps it had given up, having realised the futility once it had reached the ceiling of its cage. Instead, hunched forward, it's thin branches crowded erratically under the dome, bathing in the sickly light filtering through its clouded glass. And yet, the water within the central pool remained perfectly clear, eerily untouched by the elements of slow decay surrounding it.

#nonsims #blender render #blender scene #spent like a week on this for absolutely no reason #then almost deleted it because I didn't care about it anymore lmao #the only things I didn't make+texture were the plants #because who has the patience for that lol

[amuhav]

my, my, those eyes like fire, I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre.

#TS4 #TS4 render #Ethryon Eth'salin #this wasn't even meant to be an actual render #this was literally me just fucking around testing stuff and then falling for his stupid face again #so i am the insect in this #song not relevant just that lyric lmao

[amuhav]

decided to sit down one day and actually follow The Donut Tutorial™ 💀

#nonsims #blender donut #For Fun™ #blender render #not being a total beginner made following some of it feel like “cheating” lmfao #but also self-learning blender means I've picked up so many bad habits #and skipped over so many shortcuts/workflow stuff lmao #anyway 10/10 would eat a 60k poly donut #also anyway I'm busy Spreading Democracy for Super Earth so. brb again I guess.

[amuhav]

what kind of love are you

quiz: here tagged: @bool-prop

E T H R Y O N // Love as a Choice

You choose to love. Love does not come to you easily, but every day you wake up and choose it. It would be so easy, wouldn't it, to grow cold and callous and grim. But you rise to greet the world, making the conscious effort to find something, anything to love. When you fall for someone, you do not kid yourself of their flaws. Instead, you resolve to see them for who they are, mistakes and all and you love them all the same. Your love is work, and it does not come easy. Your love sweats and toils. It is calloused and sunburned; it bears scars and comes with stories. Your love is worn, but it is no less valuable for it. Being loved by you is like being loved by a gardener, a mother, a teacher. Your love may not always be the simplest, but it is worth the effort.

A I L O S // Love as a Performance

Your love is a masquerade, a dance, a work of art. You love with a veil across your face, unable to allow anyone to see the real you. Can that be considered love, you wonder? As a performer, you have all your lines prepared, and you know exactly what to say and when to say it. You’re charismatic and bold, seductive and hypnotic. Your love is a snake’s melody, the siren song of the sea. Your love is enchanting. Your love is melodic. Your love is afraid and fearful and longing. You ache to tear the veil off, you ache to cast poetry aside for the sake of something real and gritty. You’re terrified of the very thought. Being loved by you is to be loved by an artist; it is to be a muse. It reflects others beautifully, but never, ever yourself. Not really. Not truly.

#ask my characters #last one #Eth's makes as much sense as possible for someone so aro I guess lmao #I would have thought Ailo's fit Tay if I hadn't already read Tay's #but I think they each fell on the correct sides of those two options lol #I did Kae/Qari but Qari's 'as a religion' in particular made me want to punch a wall #'loyal as the dog. you will never ever bite back' okay fuck you quiz #a fun one for a simp #not so much for a doormat of a dad

[amuhav]

what kind of love are you

tagged by: @simlit tagging: @simlit (demanding Kyrie's lmao)

T A Y U I N // Love as a Flaw

Cowering, your love hides in the dark. In shadows and under cover of night, your love runs from corner to corner, afraid to linger, afraid to be caught. Afraid, afraid, afraid of everything. When you fall in love, it is with alarm bells ringing. Your love is a mistake, a flaw in the code, a purchase you don’t remember making and desperately want to return. You didn’t ask for this. You didn’t want this. It’s a problem–– your problem ––and you would do anything to pass it off, burn it away, scoop it out of you with bare hands, or carved out with hooked knives before it can destroy you. Get it out, just get it out now. You don’t care who you hurt in the process, only that you can’t afford to be hurt first. Being loved by you is to be loved by a figment of the imagination. It is to be loved in halves, or not at all.

#ask my characters #I am not okay goodbye #a violent assault upon me this Saturday #god this one is so fucking rude #and I hate how much I related to it fuck you

[amuhav]

List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10 simblrs whose sims you adore ♥♥♥

Eth was in the middle of unofficially arranging a political marriage for himself, but he had to change plans very abruptly. He's pretty pissed about it. Not because the new option is any worse for him, but because he feels he didn't have much of a choice. He recognises, years later, that it worked out far better for him.

For all that he treats Tayuin with disdain, he doesn't particularly dislike him. Truthfully, if he'd ever considered Tay in any sort of danger or true distress, he would have stepped in in some way to protect him, as he would his other siblings. Unfortunately, their parents' neglect didn't really register as such until near the end. By then, his attempts to help his father do anything about it were too late.

Eth is the only member of the royal family who actually stays within the company of his Sentinels at almost all times. As well as being heir to the throne and therefore at higher risk, Eth knows his magic isn't particularly suited to protecting himself, unlike his siblings' or parents'.

Out of all his siblings, his relationship with Ailos is the most fractured. Eth resents all the trouble Ailo causes, all the extra work it creates for him, and Ailos considers Eth either complicit in or wilfully ignorant of Kaelys' treatment of him. Eth doesn't understand why Ailos seems so intent on destroying his own reputation and life, and by extension, their family's reputation. Ailos isn't aware of just how much effort his brother expends to stop any of that from happening.

After Tay's escape and learning just how little of his siblings' lives he was actually aware of, Eth loses a great deal of his remaining respect for his parents, especially Kaelys. He's long known they're not perfect, but he was working under the assumption they were at least trying to do what they thought was best for each of their children.

#ask my characters #OC: Ethryon Eth'salin #thanks for the asks! #hope you don't think I was ignoring them! #I'm already in the middle of pretty hefty writer's block atm #and I was trying really hard to come up with new facts about legacy characters #but after years of answering these I think I've run out for them lol

[amuhav]

List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10 simblrs whose sims you adore ♥♥♥

Tayuin remembers none of his early childhood years, and not just in a "too young to form memories"/"too long ago" way. To him, it doesn't feel like a gap in his memory, as he remembers years of neglect from his parents and mistreatment from his siblings all blurring together. He wouldn't even be able to pinpoint an exact moment as his "earliest" memory from which he can't remember anything before, and without a starting point as reference, he has no reason to believe it was ever different. So it's not something he's aware of.

He's not entirely incapable of using his magic, but it's unreliable enough that he doesn't even bother trying anymore. If it's not going to do exactly what he wants, when he wants, and for as long as he needs it to, what's even the point? Easier to just shoot things.

His hair was much lighter when he was a baby, closer to white. It's not uncommon for eladrin babies to have lighter hair that becomes more vibrant as they age, but it's especially common for winter eladrin to be born with white or almost white hair that gradually turns silver, grey, or a pastel shade during childhood.

In a very "the cold never bothered me anyway" way, despite only being half winter fae, Tay can withstand arctic conditions quite easily. Hypothermia? Never heard of her.

Conversely, he doesn't have as much of the passive abilities of his spring half. i.e. An extremely mild, barely noticeable resistance to poisons or disease vs most spring fae having near immunity. Another thing he's not really aware of. Like, a deadly poison might take an extra few hours or days to kill him, but that's easily attributed to him just being fae in general.

#ask my characters #Tayuin Eth'salin #thankies for the ask! ❤

[amuhav]

💌 Post 4 pictures from Pinterest that describe your OC. Send this to 3 other simmers to keep the chain going!

[ T R Y S T A N // board ]

#ask game #moodboard #OC: Trystan Keen-Hanalee #I just really like the colours of his board lmao #quickly posting this one before I forget lol

[amuhav]

💌 Post 4 pictures from Pinterest that describe your OC. Send this to 3 other simmers to keep the chain going!

[ K N O X // board ]

#ask game #moodboard #OC: Knox Grimm-Wolff #all that insecurity and poor decision-making #aka #maury 2.0 without the malice

[amuhav]

💌 Post 4 pictures from Pinterest that describe your OC. Send this to 3 other simmers to keep the chain going!

[ R I O // board ]

#ask game #moodboard #OC: Rio Karaish #sorry it's characters that aren't even born yet but #gen 3's boards are meh af #and I already did ts4 ones in the last game #so going with some of my fav gen 4 boards #cos they're aes's are all actually on point lol

[amuhav]

o p a l e s c e ;

to emit or exhibit a play of colours like those of an opal

#OC: Kallias Ysiel #ts4 #ts4 render #ts4 blender #been playing about in blender 4.0 and broooo light/shadow linking my beloved ❤ #anyway what if I just posted an unimportant femboi ho because I can huh? what then? #Kalli is secretly the owner of ~that~ brothel #almost none of the clientele realise because he maintains the act that he's just one of the courtesans #SIDEBAR: you can't be mad at me for this one jade Tay *very specifically* never slept with this one lmao #it's all hortense anyway #yes I just stole your joke bye

[amuhav]

     Blushing, Mist dug at the ground with the toe of her shoe, overwhelmed and embarrassed at his praise. “...You thought you could just slip ‘cute’ in there like I wouldn’t notice,” she mumbled.      “Well, it’s as true as the rest,” he said earnestly. “But not more important. Do you know what a lot of the girls on our econ course are doing right now?”      She shook her head.      “Ignoring the assignment and getting drunk at a party on the other end of the beach. It’s loud. And incredibly distracting.”      “So... you like me because I’m not cool enough to be at a party?”      Lukas sighed. “Wow, I’m that bad at this, aren’t I? No, I like you for many reasons. But I like that you don’t care to follow everyone else just to fit in. Maybe you don’t see it, but I think that’s ‘cooler’.”      Mist smiled to herself. No one but her siblings and parents had ever really treated her like she was anything but dull or weird for being herself, and even then, they were family and had to. Still, she fiddled with the band on her wrist, the one quite literally helping her fit in.      “I’m not that comfortable in my own skin,” she said quietly. “I just... don’t find that kind of thing fun or exciting. And even if I could drink, I wouldn’t want to make a fool of myself just to make people like me.”      “Exactly.”      Still unconvinced, she looked up with a weak smile. His compliments made her feel warm, even if she didn’t fully agree with them. “Um. Thank you. For this. It was nice to be able to vent to someone. And I promise I won’t do it again,” she added with an awkward chuckle.      “Feel free. I like talking to you. Want me to walk you home?”      She glanced out at the dark streets. It was practically a straight walk from here, but it would be stupid to refuse, even if she could handle herself. “Um, would you mind?”      “Not at all.”      “Thank you.”      He smiled and gestured for her to lead the way. As they walked, he piped up again in a cheery voice. “So, other than at the end; how was the wedding? Crazy as I’m picturing?”      Mist laughed and spent the whole way back telling him about it, why it had been so last minute, and her family’s silly antics she’d witnessed over the day, once again amazed at how comfortable she felt talking to him. Though she still needed to resolve things with her brother, it no longer cast such a dark cloud over her, and by the time she reached home and collapsed onto her bed, she felt much better.

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#ts3 #ts3 legacy #Karaish Legacy #Mist Karaish #Lukas McBride #welp that's the end of what I had ready to post so #brb I guess...