#or something like that and im not gonna say i dont believe it bc of that but its still like..

[needylittlegirl]

if you dont “believe” in aftercare you deserve to get run over by a bus btw

#tbd #saw a crazy tweet now im just thinkin abt how many people dont think aftercare is necessary #my ex didnt think it was needed ever #he would do crazy things specifically to avoid anything that could be taken as care or intimacy after sex #and it did awful things to my brain!! #i have such a weird relationship with sex now because i’ve never experienced aftercare #its crazy that people think its an absolute necessity #i remember one time he left immediately like he always did #so obviously i started crying cause its very confusing to have sex and then the person just walks out not even 5 mins after!! #especially for how young i was it was Confusing #and he came back cause he forgot his wallet or something so he saw me crying #got mad at me it become an argument etc etc cause i told him why i was crying #and he said to me and i Quote #‘expecting a guy to care about you after sex is idiotic and immature- #‘you should be glad you’re even getting laid in the first place so take what you can get and stop expecting guys to care abt anything else’ #which is an insane thing to say and i Believed it for years #the fact i was sitting there crying and i told him it was bc he made me feel like he hated me and i was awful and a worthless girlfriend?? #and that was his response ??? how crazy do you have to be #anyways. aftercare is always necessary and if you dont provide then one of you is gonna be suffering

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying #shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl #in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated #bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not #her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet #so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive #personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd #compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from #happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is #like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil #not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am #barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me #and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them #but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and #thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard #to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds #nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of #brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but #that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer #defying the stats but for how much longer? #i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it #i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else #excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things #unrelated #ed mention #i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama #bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]

[the-acid-pear]

I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 🧸 like its just Peak evil imo.

#luly talks #i do relinquish in the pain and the agony but dont get me wrong the thought of any of them 3 getting jailed makes me SO sad #rog esp since he's the one im writing about and the biggest nerve wreck #gingi voice they'll be the last one to pick the board game for prison-game-night.......... #actually yknow i wonder if rog would end up almost believing it after all when you try to gaslight him for the shits and giggles #(as in: telling HE was victim of the bite of 87 and the like) he tells you to not do that bc his brain is already scrambled or something #so there's a chance perhaps he'd believe it if he had everyone constantly accussing him of it? #not like it'd matter much i have no hopes for the dsaf justice system i know its been 35 years since jack got framed but still #i just remembered when the option popped up i said ''god im really becoming steven 😭'' #first time i made the joke too was when i said ''imagine your boss sucks so bad you turn suicidal'' no clue what the context was #OH YEAH JAKE SAYING HE'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN KEEP WORKING HERE yeah. poor guy. #anyway im derailing my own post again uhhh. yeah. yeah i dont trust any phoney is avoiding the death sentence #dsaf #roger jones #dsaf roger #btw just for the sake of yapping longer i truly cant decide whether harry or jake would survive better in the enviroment #probably jake to be honest. I mean Harry has a lot of experience inside freddy's but he didnt really live outside it muhc #jake is so confrontational though #hey did you guys watch the hit movie felon? sure that guy wasn't framed but. i feel like jake would end up w that attitude #except for. you know. everything else that happens in the hit movie felon. #hey actually forget about this game go watch the 10/10 movie Felon from 2008 starring Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff #because its one of my all time fave movies and probably the saddest i've seen #not bc there arent movies that are more tragic but bc no movie was able to break thru my walls of idgaf and make me cry anyway #yeah you thought i couldnt bring up my movie fixations on my different fandom posts well you were WRONG in fact #im gonna go tag my other post i left untagged yesterday bc my ass was Cooking

[pezpenser205]

if i had a nickel for every time i got an anon criticizing me where i responded willing to believe them, being curious and wanting more resources or details so i can learn, but they go dead silent and never say anything else about it id have 2 nickels which isnt a lot but its really annoying and makes me sad that its happened twice.

#''x is bad'' #ok i wanna believe you but can you give me something to read or explain this to me bc just you saying things isnt something i wanna form- #a strong opinion around. #*silence* #ok! why!!!!! #i feel like if youre coming to someone with information especially an autistic someone then you should be ready to explain what you mean- #-and how you got to that conclusion. like someone saying ''x is a dogwhistle'' or ''x is bad'' doesnt tell me anything. i dont know any- #-more than i did when we first started talking. i just know that this person thinks these things and thats not enough. as an autistic- #-person whos been duped countless times into agreeing with stuff or saying and doing things in conversation that i didnt actually agree- #-with im not just gonna believe everyone. youre on anon and i dont know you. how am i supposed to know i can trust you. i cant. and i want- #-to. thats why im asking for information. i want to know things and i want to get things right but saying 'youre doing x wrong' without- #-telling me exactly why its wrong is a fucking nightmare man. i need to know in excruciating detail in order to change how i think. #its not that i dont ever want to change how i think i just cant trust people and want to know that the information im taking in is accurate #and i want to understand it fully. i cant just know one facet of something. #i dont just see the overarching idea. i see the smaller bits that make up those ideas. if you dont give me history or backstory to work with #i wont see the full idea. despite wanting to. #bleh. #im tired #op

[pansyfemme]

you ever see someone make a point you agree with but their source is so bad you don’t know how to correct them on it without seeming like you disagree. like yes please elaborate i want to hear you talk but find something more substantial to back it up

#saw someone state that ‘studies prove that lesbians are less transphobic than any other sexuality.’ #and to me i was like. yeah that makes a bit of sense. generally most of the cis lesbians ive met were very accepting of trans people. #HOWEVER. my questions are 1) what study. you can’t just say ‘studies’. 2) how big was this study bc it seems pretty specific 3) who ran this #study and 4) like im gonna be real a study ‘proving’ a group isnt transphobic seems odd bc like. was the survey question ‘are you #transphobic’ because people would give biased results or was it something like ‘would you date a trans person’ or ‘do you support #trans rights’ bc while less directly biased both would be easy to lie about and dont really tell if someone is transphobic or not #like do i believe that sexuality isnt a direct factor in someones transphobia. absolutly. #do i find studies studying who’s transphobic and who’s not pretty.. questionable? yes absolutly #theres not a way to measure if someone’s transphobic or not through that kind of survey.. its just not possible

[transgenderdragons]

never coming home, never coming home!

extras^^^^^

#ray toro #the ghost of you #mcr #my chemical romance #i KNOW the main focus is gerard. but ray was the one HOLDING MIKEY while he DIED ok. im normal about it #it was HIS JOB to save mikey it was HIM who had to see the life leave his friend's eyes. whatever. whatverwhateverhwtaevr I DONT CARE #and now he has to deal with the weight of that. hundreds of people die in war everyday but none of them were his friends. #because that would never happen right? because when this was all over they were all gonna go out for drinks again. #they were going to laugh and cry and hold each other and be together. be whole. #and now. something's missing. someONE is missing. #and no matter what anyone says. no matter what anyone tells him. in his heart. he will always believe it was his fault... #ANYWAYS. WHO CARES NOT ME. #tried to give him a thousand yard stare sorta look thats why his eyes have so much highlight i wanted them to look very empty... #the proportions are alittle fucked bc this was originally just a sketch but i liked it enough to color it so. love wins? #the bg is an edited screenshot from the video btw #my art

[nerosdayinanime]

I know I wasn't the person that originally asked about Giyuucore songs but that post caught my interest because you mentioned a lot of songs and some of my favorites👀

I'd really like to hear your thoughts on Gilded Lily! I've seen it taken in a couple different contexts online but idk anyone that listens to it. After Dark is another banger but I never considered thinking of it as Giyuucore. the same thing with Little Dark Age talk about blorbo, think about blorbo :)

also I listened to The Mute and The Missing Road for the tag you left on my one drabble and 😭 i see it so clearly with how so socially awkward little blorbo is

usually i think of my music taste as mainstream but not like. Popular mainstream yk? usually at least, since i started only really using spotify it kinda just Sticks with popular... (i just think the music i listen to its pretty all over the place) anyway-

Gilded Lily got me from the chorus haven't i given enough? giyuu gives his all yet still all the shit that happens to him and the people he loves... with him in mind the lyric reads as more a polite way of asking higher powers 'havent you taken enough from me?' yk?

always the fool with the slowest heart hes always behind his peers and misunderstood, negative feedback loop of hiding further in himself and straying further behind

but i know youll take me with you when he loves he gives a piece of himself, so when they're lost they take a piece of him with them i know ill take you with me the haori he so dearly cares for

we'll live in spaces between walls how ghosts are respected as existing in a third place, the border between life and death- how giyuu does something similar, as close as a ghost you can get without death- hes treats himself the same as the ghosts that haunt him

last lyric for gilded lily is manga spoliers and iirc youre an anime-only, so ill keep that one under wraps lmao

-------

After Dark is all dreams and broken memories, the echo-y voice and faraway sound of the piano all tinged with melancholy (probably shoulda put it with the sabigiyuu playlist lmao)

i see you, you see me - how pleasant, this feeling - the moment you hold me - i missed you, im sorry - ive given what I have - i showed you I'm growing - the ashes fall slowly - as your voice consoles me only alive in his dreams, the reprieve of being in sabito's arms hurts from its fleeting nature. his chance at trying to right his wrongs of being too weak, a demon's dying ashes as proof, sabito's voice (a faded memory of, distorted with unfamiliarity) telling him he doesnt need to prove himself of anything

as the hours pass - i will let you know - that i need to ask - before I'm alone - how it feels to rest - on your patient lips  - to eternal bliss - im so glad to know the false feeling of lips against his, only as good as a dream gets. (he knows it isnt real, it doesnt feel real, its heaven nonetheless) a kiss that never happened, never will happen, hes just happy to have known him at all (even if the memories are so painful)

we're swaying to drum beats - in motion, im feeling - my patience controlling - the question, i wont speak two hearts in sync as their sword swings, giyuu always holds his tounge until the perfect moment (a perfect moment doesnt exist)

we're telling the stories - our laughter, he knows me - we're leaving, we're talking - youre closer, it's calming reliving faded memories- happy times and the march to their shared grave. the impeding dread of Knowing simmers to an empty lull when their hands brush as they walk

the night will hold us close and the stars will guide us home - ive been waiting for this moment, we're finally alone - i turn to ask the question, so anxious, my thoughts a calm rest with another painful dream of a man that doesnt exist

your lips were soft like winter, in your passion, i was lost their lips meet, painfully cold and oh so dead against his, only for a moment. he opens his eyes to the crystal clear memory of the determined fire behind rounded eyes before he turned. white haori disappearing to the forest, vision blurred, red trailed down his face, what was he supposed to do now?

-------

Little Dark Age is super gloomy and sorta like. corrupted church vibes. idk how to explain that. the tone of voice singing keeping the note flat (except in the chorus) the background music echoing itself it just overall reminds me of devilman crybaby's corrupted demonic vibe. Smells Blood(kensuke ushio). dvmcb has a more Taken And Run By Evil/Satan kinda vibe whereas little dark age is more God Left Us

the lyrics are a narration, his own thoughts and feelings he never speaks aloud but says if you listen close enough.

the ruins of the day, painted with a scar dont need to explain that one

and, the more i straighten out, the less it wants to try the amount of willpower it takes him to just keep going

oh-oh, forgiving who you are, for what you stand to gain - just know that if you hide, it doesnt go away/i grieve in stereo, the stereo sounds strange - you know that if it hides, it doesn't go away self-narration, how much he still hurts despite hardening his heart against it all

when you get out of bed, dont end up stranded - horrified. with each stone. on the stage - my little dark age stranded in the stagelight, stone upon stone tied to him always weighing him down

specifically ties with the other lyric- come find us heading for the bridge, bring a stone, all the rage, my little dark age he thinks he deserves it, peoples hatred and anger at his failure, he ties the stones himself

if I get out of bed, you'll see me standing all alone, horrified, on the stage, my little dark age all of this song ties specifically to this one imagery i have of sabito and giyuu and hashira overall- theyre the ones that bare the light that destroys demons. with their strength they cast shadows for other slayers and innocent people to hide behind, still safely in the light but not being burned by it as they are.

Giyuu and Sabito were supposed to bare that light together, strengthened by eachother casting shadows where the other's weakest and baring the burn with eachother side by side, they were supposed to cast a shadow large enough to shield everyone they cared for, to not lose everyone they love again.

this line was the start of it all- waking up alone on the stage being wholly burned by the light with no respite. the blinding light instead signaling his little dark age

also yeah!!! the self-isolating, lonely theme of those songs is literally just Him. it speaks for itself so clearly i dont even know how i could explain it to someone who knows giyuu but doesnt understand how The Mute & The Missing Road relate to him. its just. Its Him man. you gotta believe me. if you only listen with your ears, i cant get in - and a heart always holds, onto missing roads MAN CMON ITS RIGHT THERE-

#tomioka giyuu #loserboy giyuu posting #fratboy sabito posting #i think giyuu in regards to sabito puts him on a pedestal. worships him as a god and says he'll never compare to. devoted to a fault. #also i dont like how much i Dont think of tsutako w these songs bc she was literally The Start of it. she was his everything and she gave #her all for his wellbeing and it just set him to believe he didnt fucking deserve it. his life shouldnt have costed *hers* in his #eyes and that shaped his attitude towards himself for the rest of his life #also just now realizing i have Slow Doown(crx) in giyuucore and Hurry Hurry(air traffic controller) in sabitocore #BRO ITS FUCKING- #dude #'ooh im gonna miss something - if i keep bumping - the most significant stuff #all my friends and all the loose ends - and this love of mine- cause im running out of time' #'who am i? am i still the same guy? or have i lost something as i keep stomping #mind and health - every bit of myself - i ignore the signs as im running out of time' #'a year goes by - you wonder why - not much is done - youve run too much - in parallel - now hurry hurry is your hell' #vs #'when i see you speeding by - all i do is wave goodbye - i wish i could buy some time - enough to get it right #oh slow down - slow down - slow down - oh slow down - slow down - slow down' #the juxtaposition #sabito needing to do as much as he possibly can with the people he cares about to feel like they did enough together #giyuu needing the people he cares about to slow down and just savor & bask in the time they have together #both of them feeling like the time they share with others are limited- yet going about it in completely different ways #both wanting to be able to do something about it- but sabito pushing himself to do it all to the point it kills him while giyuu #pushes himself but never truly believes it'll amount to anything worthwhile #-------nsfw further tags------- #also find it exceedingly amusing that it fits my giyuu overstim kink & sabito denial kink hc<3 #sabito's great at keeping it going while giyuu knows how to drag it out~ theyr perfect 4 eachother<3<3 #man im *really* bad at not making everything about sabigiyuu lmao

[cinnabeat]

im seeing people say azz would get mad at iruma for hiding that hes a human (if it DOES get revealed next chapter) and like idk i dont think he will. like azz and iruma had a whole Moment where iruma saw how nervous and uncomfortable azz was with sharing his own secret and iruma told him straight up he doesnt have to say shit if he doesnt want to just bc theyre friends bc theyre all allowed to keep stuff hidden even from the people closest to them. like he literally set himself on fire bc he was feeling So Much i dont think hes gonna get upset with iruma for hiding it

#at most i think hed be confused? #rattled? bc this is A Big Deal #iruma being a human i mean #like its more about what is azz gonna say or do if he does find out rather than him reacting to there being a secret at all #and anyways i doubt azz is gonna react negatively anyways like all that development and friendhsip and azz being So about iruma #and people really think hes gonna react negatively to this info? #id HOPE not like thats just. i dont like that its a cop out for more drama and doesnt reflect azz already established character #i would love to see azz kick kirios ass before he can finish but on second thought he looks a little Too startled #so my money is on either bachiko ameri or amaryllis #i wanna say bachiko bc there was a strange panel when kirio says therell be jo place for you #it shows sullivan all calm (?) and bachiko turning around like she noticed something and azz doing his best to break thru the barrier #so im gonna say bachiko will save the day and it has the added benefit that She Knows #also find it hard to believe amaryllis doesnt know where iruma is i feel like she followed him? bc shes a woman of her word and she promised #to protect him #anyways #i have Maby Thoughts #michi tag

[theood]

s/o 2 my cousin for actually having my.back and lying to my.mom abt if im on anything. Real actual mvp thanks for that ily keep it up

#elias howls #moms asking if im on anything #girl i fucking tried 2 get you to be ok with me being on T I asked and offered to let tou go with me first appt to ask questions and you go #t all uppity and 'oh no no dont change your body :((( no thats scary for me and it makes me sad! no dont change the body I gave you!' #like. gosh. i wonder why I did it behind your back. thats a real thinker. might need a college professor or even a team of experts for this #like. damn! 7 times comimg out where you ignore the coming out part and seem real uncomfortable when I voice youre hurting me. i want to lo #ve you. i want you in my life but ypu makw it so fucking hard. like ive thought abt going low contact when I move out. thatd hurt you so m #uch and I dont wanna but what other choices do i have when you want to see the person whos dead? *im* here. look at me. see me. say my name #. Elias. It isn't hard #like ok w/e im losing all my family once I move out and im even more loud and proud and me itz fine it doesn't weigh me down at all haha #ive been thinking a lot recently. i dont think my memere will taks the news well. shes so fucking important to me. if I lose her in my life #? yeah. i don't know. but its probably gonna happen. andni havent prepared myself for it at all bc i want to believe she loves me for me bu #t. i don't know. im everyone's little girl. i can't be anything else. a blessing to my family. and im tainting her image by declaring mysel #f as something as unhoyl as a transsexual. what a curse. what a blight to the family.

[pizzapizzadickz]

I've been popping pills like they're candy lately. (Also known as I've been in pain a lot and my allergies are horrible bc of all the mold in my room).

#diary #personal #on another note entirely that i didnt want to put it in the main thing. i feel so. different from what ppl know me as sometimes #like. i may talk to you. and you may think you know me. but do you really? ive been thinking. if ppl met me would they even like me? #like. when i have meltdowns or sensory overload or just need time to chill n stim. or just lay down n nap #like. idk if others could tollerate that of me. if i met someone irl and arent heavily masking my personality you can tell im strange #fuck. just today i spent like 5-10 mins just. tapping on my collarbones hard bc it feels nice feeling ur bones vibrate #idk. like. honeslty i cant even put it into words and speaking itself is so ineffective tbh. #it just really sucks tho. cuz i mask so much of myself so much of the time. i mask the pain. i mask my happiness. #heck i even mask everything inbetween. #honestly i sorta just dont believe anyone would like me if i acted how i want to. like. i am very autistic natually. VERY AUTISTIC #i just hide all of that for everyones comfort and it makes things activly less enjoyable for me. #idk. i just. want to go out. cling to someone i care about and make them guide me. wear noise cancelling headphones everywhere #i rly just want to never go anywhere loud or crowded (even tho i like trying new food n things). #i want to jump up and down when im happy. run when i feel. scream if i want. cry if i need. #id like it if someone saw me meltdown or shutdown they wouldnt freak out. #id like to be able to mess up things in social situations and it wouldnt matter. i just wouldnt worry about if id still have a friend. #id like to be able to be heard when i say no i cant have/do that. i really wish that was the case even now. #i. really have just become so much more autistic the more ive focused on myself. my needs and my feelings . #like. today my dad wanted to order something that *admittedly* is the exact same thing i was gonna order. #HOWEVER THERE IS ONE KEY DIFFERENCE. IT IS NOT WHAT I PICKED OUT. so what if its different from what i want???? #i cant have that!! so i panicked a lot. and he repeatedly ignored me when i said no i dont want x food. #eventually mom stepped in and made it so i got what i wanted. #yknow? existing hurts so much. just all of the time too. i keep on coming back lately to the same thought. #over and over and over again on repeat. just. idk. its hard to explain. #i keep on thinking how itd be better if i was like replaced with someone else. if someone else was born instead of me. #like. im utterly useless. but maybe if only x sperm was born instead of me they wouldnt be like me. idk. #maybe then everyone would be happy. maybe then theyd be able to work and make my parents and everyone else happy. #theyd be able to fit in. they could lead a much better life than me. i wish i wasnt so utterly useless. #i just want a long break. its exhausting living and im not rly cut out for it. too bad i wont get one anytime soon. god i hate this.

[munamania]

i dont want to go to my stupid screenwriting class bc even though this prof Finally Actually gave me Some feedback. i dont like him. i dont think he likes any of us either he just likes talking about himself. anyway though she should be there today at least <3 and my other bestie and maybe i can get away with working on another assignment during class

#if he tries to make us share our scripts again. like i know that's the point but it doesnt feel like a good 'writers room' and im #scarred from when i volunteered and he was so shitty to me. i KNOW it was a bad intro to my script i didnt like it. was getting a feel for #it. but also at that point i was so crushed from his bullshit. i shouldnt have been but yk. #anyway did i tell u she apologized to me for missing class and i was like lol u dont have to apologize to me #and she was like ohh i just thought it might have been kinda sad not having a buddy. very roundabout Aw did u miss me #also i have another friend in that class. obv not the same dynamic but. yeah #film girl saga #for context for my first tag. like i was so in a haze i could barely get to writing. and i was so fed up with getting vague non feedback #from him so i was like im gonna throw myself into this and try to get actual feedback from the class #and some ppl did comment but it was the end of class so mostly crickets so i was mostly just trying to force him to actually #fucking say something and he goes. yah youve got something coming there. youve got words on a page #the way i wanted to go full katniss and claw his face in that moment. #i dont even think it was like that bad bc when i took it to my other prof he had stuff to say. but even without external validation EYE #believed in my story. i still like it and my characters and stuff. whatever

[trendfag]

i need to listen to midnights illegally

#thinking and thinking and thinking about things my friend and i talked about #if the loneliest time is midnights then midnights is emotion and carly has been doing it longer and better #is anyone else doing carly style pop music anyone big and everything i dont know but i dont think so but i dont know #so if taylor is doing carly and getting massive success with it that probably means that other prople are gonna do taylor doing carly #and if carly pop music goes mainstream and taylor swift gets credited with it. oh i dont even want to know what i would do #oh oh oh i would oh no #but all this is predicated on the notion that the loneliest time is midnights is emotion #which i believe the loneliest time is emotion bc my friend wss like this is good i just wish she did something else #and i didnt understand her really but now yeah shes kind of been doing emotion in different flavors since emotion #which like im not complaining but i know what my friend was saying #so now i just need to see if midnights is emotion taylors version #sidenote i found out tonight carly is signed to scooter brauns record label i will never be caught dead listening to a taylors version

[chucklechampion]

ah heem heem......

#literally my boss called me into her office and was like 'if you have anything to say tell me now' #'if we start the investigation and find anything we have to fire you' #and i was like 'you know me. you know that i have never taken anything and never paid for it.' #ive taken stuff and paid for it later that day or the next day #but NEVER?? no #i love this stupid job why would i steal from it #and in her defense she did say that there was no bad blood and we were okay #but like that means that if she sees something weird its like 'nothing personal youre fired' #i literally know she WONT fiind anything weird. thats the point. i didnt do anything #but it makes me feel suspicious and that me saying i didnt do anything is an admission of uilt #guilt #aand the more upset and nervous i get the less believable i seem #which makes me MORE UPSET AND NERVOUS #and i told a coworker about it and they really were acting like i did it #like BITCH IVE KNOWN YOU FOR YEARS YOU THINK I DID IT??? #have i stolen before?? did i used to steal all the time and just dont remember??? #what if i took something once and was like 'yeah i'll pay for it later tonight' and forgot and now its gonna cost me my job #because heres the thing #that VERY WELL couldve happened #my adhd is a fucking bad i very well couldve done that #she picked the perfect time to accuse me of this to retaliate too #last month we lost a lot of money at our snack market #which indicates a lot of theft #and i live here so it'd be easy for me to do #that doesnt mean i did it tho #god this is so upsetting #and this is gonna be a no news is good news situation bc i dont imagine they'll call me in and be like #'we went over months of footage and you have been found NOT guilty! :D' #like no if they dont find anything they'll just never bring it up again #but like that means im gonna be waiting for the other shoe to drop for the rest of the time im working here

[4giorno]

omg the screenshots in this dream place are basically accurate 😭💖

#its like im finally like i can see him i see my darling boy!!!!! #even if the side on our left isnt exactly right still #believe it or not its a big deal to me hkdxjjdfkfkf #anyway some more lore of him that i didnt yet share is that his instrument is the violin his subclass in college of lore #and he has the guild artisan background. so maybe that gives more of a picture of what hes like jdjfhdjjf #lmao SORRY for posting abt him again im just rlly attatched to him bc this game has consumed my brain #and ive played as him for over 30 hours now 💀 and im only at the beginning of act 2 which is crazy bc i didnt do nearly everything in act 1 #(but im kinda like am i gonna get to a place over ground again? 💀 i dont like exploring places like the shadow lands or the underdark #in any game so i find it hard to find the strength to wander from the main quest. plus i have a vampire with me #and his bite is useless against the undead 😭) #speaking of which omg i obv just looked at my media gallery and bc the time i died from letting astari0n drink was the first time #that i had that event it gave me the trophy and the ps5 saves a clip of you getting trophies so i have it forever saved #when my character faded away and the 'oh no something terrible happened' comment and the clip KILLS me #also even tho this hair is perfect i have one regret and its that it hides his elf ears 😭 #anyway have you seen my boy? now you have byeeeee #(EDIT i actually think i did already say his instrument is the violin....... whoops its too early in the tags to fix)