#or is that even rsd???

[rjalker]

(Edit for clarity: This is not about volume control, this is about angrily screaming at people in anger. Not talking too loudly by accident.)

I saw a really fucking weird post last night that didn't make any fucking sense so anyways.

PSA. If you blow up and scream at someone because you have ADHD and RSD.....

Yes? You do in fact need to apologize for that? And try not to do that in the future?

Just because you have ADHD does not make it okay for you to scream at people? And if you're using your ADHD to argue that you shouldn't have to apologize for this sort of behavior because "you can't help it"......yeah you're like guarenteed to be abusing your friends and anyone else in relationships with you.

Having RSD does not mean it's okay for you to scream at people when they accidentally upset you. It doesn't mean you're not in control of your actions and it does not mean you get to guilt people for being upset with you when you are screaming at them when they've done nothing wrong.

Being neurodivergent does not mean you get to do or say anything harmful you want without consequences. It is your personal responsibility not to abuse people, and if your ADHD makes you scream at people over nothing, then it is in fact, literally your responsibility to develop coping mechanisms so you don't do that.

Because that's literally abusive. If you are regularly blowing up at your friends and screaming at them, then getting even more pissed off when you're expected to apologize, and instead just make excuses for why your behavior isn't actually your fault and not something you need to change, that's just....you being abusive. Literally.

It is your personal responsability not to abuse people. Yes, including you, person with ADHD and RSD. Being mentally ill is not an excuse to abuse people. You are in fact responsible for your own actions and when your actions harm people you need to take responsability for that and work on making sure it doesn't happen again.

By arguing that it's okay for you to scream at people who've done nothing wrong because you have ADHD, you are literally just justifying abuse and saying that being mentally ill or neurodivergent automatically makes you abusive. And that's just ableist and wrong.

If anyone tells you they just can't help it but scream at you and treat you badly (like threatening to hurt themselves or you), and refuses to apologize or work on this behavior, whether this is a friend or a romantic partner or anyone else, get the hell out of there. You are being abused.

#ableism #ADHD #RSD #Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria #ActuallyADHD #I'm not even going to comment on the post becuase it LITERALLY MAKES NO SENSE

[zebinkter]

Some stuff inspired by @azrielfiend 's psa and directly correlated with @transgenderfivepebbles ' ideas!

ADHD Rivulet that isn't just owo sillay :D

I'm currently working on digital versions of these plus something else ;3

#rain world #rw Rivulet #rw five pebbles #adhd #also. #thank you transgenderfivepebbles for mentioning rsd #i had no idea that even was a thing i had until now #i thought i was just being a stinky poopy head until i looked up what it meant after you mentioned it #ig thats the adhd experience tho: thinking you're the stinky until you find out it's your brain that's being the stinky

[hiveswap]

Mothers will open their mouth and leech your passions your motivation your hopes your dreams everything you're excited about ect

[painted-bees]

Being ADHD(+ rsd) and having friends & customers who do not mask their autism by preforming ‘neurotypical’ emotional responses--is a very healing thing once I properly realized “oh, the flat tone doesn’t mean they hate me and my work. When they say ‘Thanks. I love it.’ or ‘yeah, fun.’ they mean it at total face value!” The number of times my rsd has started to flare up before my conscious is like ‘autism-!’ it’s like...a calming weighted blanket on my nerves. I can trust that there’s no disappointment to read in between the lines of their tone.

#being autistic myself I am SO EXTREMELY BAD at reading between the lines anyways #and so I just try not to but the rsd still absorbs The Fear regardless lmao #but there are a handful of folks I interact with on the regular who are flat-toned and very even-level in how they respond to things #and while it's easy to see a lack of outward excitement as 'they hate this'--the fact that they #elect to keep doing the same things with me or keep buying my commissions over and over #is more proof that they enjoy me and my efforts than a bunch of exclamation marks at the end of a sentence.

[serosfan]

Today’s Ducktales headcanon.

Huey has Autism, Louie has ADHD, and Dewey has an unholy combination of both.

#look me in my eyes and tell me Dewey isn’t PEAK Audhd #huey duck #louie duck #dewey duck #ducktales #ducktales 17 #Huey even stims in the Tokyolk episode it’s very cute #and Louie is so executive disfunction and RSD coded

[aesrot]

why is it so hard to find good info abt cluster b and/or their symptoms -.-

#lua talks #trying to find out if what i experience is actual paranoia or not #bc even tho i often have thoughts of being watched and that im endangered; they're not as strong as the examples i found online #and the stronger thoughts are related to people close to me rather than strangers (which i do experience but a lot less intense) #and its almost always triggered by rsd/social anxiety; which makes me think that it might be just those rather than paranoia #also read up on bpd but its so hard to find good info abt it #man i cant wait to be able to afford help. hope i can find a good doctor tho :') #anyways #another day finding out another way i may be mess up #tbd #maybe

[bluee-birb]

the pain of having ADHD/autism is wanting to happily indulge in whatever you’re hyperfixating on and like. Tell everyone ever about it. but that Rejection Sensitive Fear™️ says “wtf lol don’t do that what if everyone thinks you’re weird”

#adhd #autism #neurodivergence #rsd #rejection sensitive dysphoria #hopefully i’m not the only one? i cant be the only one #if god exists tell him that he really fumbled with the whole rsd thing #this post isnt even about a certain hyperfix i have rn it’s just In General. i used to be open about it but now im kind of a scaredy cat!!

[a-whole-lot-of-things]

I GOT THE LOVEJOY VINYL LETSGO!!

#im so so happy i got it #i planned ahead by like a month on how i would prepare and whatnot #like i even emailed all the shops in my state that participate in the event just to be sure i'd have a good chance of getting it #and it only took getting up at 6:30 and waiting in a line in the snow and cold for half an hour 😎 #lovejoy #lovejoy record #lovejoy vinyl #record store day #record store day 2023 #rsd #rsd23 #lvjy #lvjy record #lvjy vinyl #record #vinyl #anvil cat #anvil cat from studio 4 #from studio 4 #lovejoy anvil cat #lvjy anvil cat #tomorrow #taunt #one day #sex sells #cause for concern

[fyrewalks]

buck's rsd said time for a double whammy

#ooc #tbd #dnr #911 spoilers #no but like #here he is branching off his main group of friends #and then feeling disappointed and rejected bc tommy and eddie are close #(it's a little illogical but so is adhd!) #and then comes the realization that eddie and tommy have a connection he will never be able to provide #rsd intensifies #oliver even said in an interview #that buck is so used to being able to see his friends aka the 118 all the time #that he doesn't realize that that sort of relationship isn't normal #so he's gonna panic hard #and that's without getting into the queer buck of it all ahhhhh

[gaelahanlon]

Sometimes, it strikes me how much easier and nicer life could be if people just put a little more thought into how their words can be taken by those around them.

"I sent out an email about this already. Please read it." Could have very easily been: "Hey, I've sent out an email about this, which should hopefully answer any questions you may have."

(Simply answering the question again would work too, but I digress)

Functionally, these two statements do the same thing in directing the recipient to the information they need. But the latter is far kinder. It may not even be intentional, but the former could be seen as annoyed, rude, or even belittling. A simple change in wording can make a massive difference to how this advice can affect the recipient's relationship with both the sender and themselves.

And before you tell me that thinking about every interaction like this would be exhausting or an unreasonable thing to ask of people, let me just say — Autistic people do this on a near-constant basis. We have to learn and re-learn the best way to handle most interactions because we are often criticised for doing things 'incorrectly' in everyday interactions.

Applying enough thought to a written communication to make a simple change like this is not too much to ask. You may even find it takes less and less effort as it becomes more instinctual to show others respect and kindness with how you communicate with them.

#this is why i hate emails #rejection sensitive dysphoria #it took me two seconds to reword that statement #but I will think about the original wording for weeks #it wasn’t even directed at me #it's a real bitch #rsd #autism #neurodiversity #just be fucking kind #please

[king-wilhelm]

See the thing about rsd is that sometimes, sometimes when you explain it to people who matter to you, they'll understand. And they'll reassure you and tell you they love you and when they do that, believe them. Believe them with your whole heart.

Because yeah maybe if they really care for you, they'll take the time to reassure you multiple times but even that has a limit. Because the demon really, is in your mind. And it's not fair for you to put that on them, not every single time.

You have to find it within you to meet them halfway, my for them, but for you. Because this feeling will eat away at your peace and make you feel fully shattered.

#This is very poorly articulated but you get the point #The people that love you will continue to love you even when it feels like they don't sometimes #And that sometimes is usually a very silly easily fixable situation #Or sometimes it's entirely made up in your head #You are loved. #Neurodivergent #Neurodivergence #adhd #adhd problems #adhd bullshit #adhd brain #Rsd #rejection sensitive disorder #rejection sensitive dysphoria #rejection sensitivity

[performing-personhood]

Adventures in object permanence and not fucking having any: Christmas edition

Husband's Xmas present came in the mail today. My afternoon plan had been to wrap presents, so I put it on the table to wrap first. So that was at like, 7am.

But by the afternoon, I had forgotten why it seemed to imoortant to wrap gifts - I still have time to mail them out to Kentucky, why was it such a big deal? I wanted to shower and make cookies instead so that's what I did.

Then Husband came home and squeaked and covered his eyes and that is when I remembered the three foot long box sitting unwrapped on the table I have been walking past since 7am. Which has ceased to exist to me until he said something.

At least I don't have to wrap it now???

#i have nothing nice to say about myself right now #just neurodivergent things #actually audhd #actually autistic #actually neurodivergent #actually adhd #mental illness #diary post #adhd rsd #rsd things #no for real though #i am using epithets against myself that i cannot repeat here #because even mentioning them would get me shoved into a cannon and fired into the sun #OK BUT I AM EXPECTED TO HAVE A JOB ??? #I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER SOMETHING EXISTS EVEN WHEN I PUT IT IN PLAIN SIGHT #HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HOLD DOWN A JOB WHEN I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHY I HAVE TO WRAP PRESENTS

[zevrans]

.

#i'm having that one in half a year feeling of deleting from everything and dissapearing into the void #but what makes me more sad is no one would notice nor care #i really wish i was more social but my rsd and my anxiety made me too secluded even on here #don't know why am i even bothering writing this lmao #i just needed to vent i guess #tbd

[jarvis-cockhead]

Rejection sensitive dysphoria awareness & how I cope

Disclaimer: I don't claim to be an expert, this is advice from my personal experiences aimed to help others who experience RSD, as I have a long term experience with the condition and don't often see people talk about how to manage it. I've had to figure out a lot of it myself so I wanted to share my methods for anyone else who might find them useful :] please if you think you experience RSD or any other neurodivergency do your own research, or ask for a professional opinion. Also please feel free to say so if you think my methods are actually bad/harmful or if you have any other methods, because like I said, this is just stuff I've figured out for myself, I don't claim to know it all!

Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is, in short, a severe emotional reaction to real or perceived rejection. It's most commonly linked to ADHD however it is likely something which just more commonly develops in people with certain neurodivergencies (I have a diagnosis of autism, for example). It hasn't been researched very much so there isn't that much information out there about what it is or how to manage it, but it's something which can significantly affect your wellbeing and your relationships with others. At times I find it debilitating. I've experienced it for a number of years now and I've spent a lot of time on self awareness and analysing RSD based anxiety. I hope this not only helps others with RSD but helps to spread awareness of the condition- if you think you experience RSD you absolutely are not alone.

The anxiety lens

It can be really tricky to identify which thoughts are real and which are not because the nature of RSD is one which is paranoid and always jumps to conclusions, and the phrase 'what if' is very powerful. One way I've learnt to deal with this is to remember something very important: when anxiety is present it is like a lens you will look through and it will cloud your judgement of what you see. If you are experiencing RSD and are worried your friend is upset with you, you will listen to them/read their messages as if this is true, and this is where your 'proof' comes from. RSD is triggered by perceived rejection, and of course this will be worse and more frequent when anxiety is clouding your perceptions. Reminding myself of this is probably the most useful method I have found to deal with RSD because it follows the RSD anxiety path as far back as you can take it. There are no 'what if's, the anxiety will be making you see things from an altered perspective.

Anxiety sources

Are there any other reasons your anxiety could be worse right now? Stress and hormonal changes commonly exaggerate my anxiety and this frequently manifests as RSD. Identifying this doesn't always make the anxiety go away, but it does give some peace of mind of the likely real reason for why I am suddenly feeling so much worse.

Social exhaustion

I find I can swing into a very low spot very quickly after seeing friends, which is most likely just social exhaustion but because it has come directly after socialising it can feel as if there must be a reason, and the RSD reason is that the social interaction must have 'failed'. I also find this especially difficult with my friends who also experience social exhaustion and also need a period of recharge because this could mean they aren't as chatty as usual, which of course feeds the RSD. Remember that you (and possibly your friend also) are likely just tired, and give yourself time to rest.

The better it is, the worse it gets

A cruel side to RSD I feel is that the more I care for someone, or the more fun I had in a social interaction, the worse my RSD can be. I can also find it hard to understand why someone is friends with me or accept that this is the case, and I get very scared of losing the people I care most about. However more often than no your friends do care about you just as much as you do for them, or they wouldn't be your friends at all. Your friends love you and they will not just abandon you or reject you for no reason, or even if you do make a mistake, because mistakes can be talked through and overcome. The RSD conclusion jump that your friend suddenly hates you is so incredibly unlikely (and if it does happen then that doesn't sound like much of a friend in the first place.)

Help! my friend has disappeared for a day (or longer)

This is never fun, RSD loves it when this happens because there is so much room for 'what if's. You must just remind yourself that it's very unlikely you're the reason they've disappeared, especially when you've not done anything deliberate which would upset them. They really are most likely just busy!

One good way to help deal with this long term is to have strong communication foundations where possible. Let your friend know this is something you struggle with, and let each other know that if there is ever a real issue, you can talk about it. Doing this will give you more room to breathe and more reassurance that there are no issues because your friend has not told you there are. It also isn't really your responsibility to be hyper aware of what you might have maybe possibly done 'wrong', it's up to the other person to tell you if there's an issue. Remembering that you're allowed to not worry about whether you've accidentally done something wrong can take a lot of weight off.

Help! I can feel myself trapped in an anxiety spot/loop

Sometimes while anxious if I talk to a friend I can get trapped in a loop of needing and seeking reassurance, knowing that I'm on the verge of an RSD based breakdown. My best advice for this is to just tell your friend you think you are entering/are in an anxiety loop- I find that exposing the anxiety makes it easier to deal with, while not actively asking for reassurance. Asking for reassurance in the moment is something I try to avoid wherever possible. While it can make things feel really hard and like youre suffering alone, I personally try not to so I can build up my resilience, as doing so can just reinforce the anxiety. Plus while I'm in an anxious state that reassurance sometimes doesn't do much anyway because I'm still seeing things from a perspective of anxiety.

I worry that my RSD will upset my friends or offend them

RSD can make you feel horrible for doubting your friends, and it can feel scary admitting any of these feelings to them for fear that they'll be offended you've thought that way about them, or that you're blaming them for your RSD. But good friends will listen and understand and know this isn't what you intend. To help, approach conversations from the angle of 'my anxiety causes me to feel this way', not that they themselves cause you to feel this way.

Why is this even happening to me?

RSD is suspected to develop from certain sorts of experiences in life, and is more likely to develop in those who are neurodiverse. Identifying what might have caused my RSD has given me a lot of peace of mind and reassurance that I'm not just going mad- these are responses based on past experience.

Conclusion

Managing RSD, from my experience, is a lot of building resilience and healthier thought patterns. It never truly goes away but you can get better at minimising it's effects. Introspection is key to deconstructing RSD and tracing it back to the sources. It's usually never actually about the other people around you, despite it absolutely feeling that way. I hope at least some of my experiences could be helpful to anyone who experiences RSD- best of luck and best wishes if you do :]

#if this helps even one person it will be worth posting despite how scared i am (which ironically is probs the RSD talking) #rejection sensitivity #rejection sensitive dysphoria #RSD #autism #actually autistic #ADHD #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #disability pride month

[x-itzzzzzz-x]

i don’t want to be some hateful bitter person but being around others sometimes is unbearable bc it does nothing but remind me of how i’m failing at everything in life and that everyone around me is ahead

i have no future so what’s the point like i’m constantly reminded of how smart and interesting and real my friends are and then i’m reminded of how i’m not those things and i don’t have the capacity to be those things

all i wanted was to make a difference and truly learn and do something with it but if i can’t even last a day of uni how am i meant to do anything good

anyways it’s so lonely being depressed and a loser bc even tho i have friends i feel like i’m always on a different wavelength from them, always watching never participating. i feel like they are ahead of me in life in every ways and there’s nothing i can do to catch up and stay caught up i’m just consistently failing in everything

#autism #i’m so tired #i think i’m burnt out #but like everyone is #so it’s not even a valid excuse #i’m just lazy #and stupid #there’s no other way to put it really #lonelly #social anxiety #bpd #actually autistic #rsd #tw vent #left behind

[cadrenebula]

I'm feeling a bit better. It's just been a rough week. Thank you.

#ooc #tbd later #I take a few steps away when I know the RSD is being bad #Because I dun want people to feel like I'm trying to make anyone feel guilty #Cause I really don't want to treat people like that even unintentionally #This week has just been a lot to deal with #Friend showed me a couple of comedy action movies last night to lift my spirits #Once I was done doing things for everyone else #Sadly I didn't have the energy to do a cute screen this year for the twins' nameday #I've been drowning myself in Disney Dreamlight Valley this week cause it's so bubbly cheerful