#one of those that sticks around actually

[mysteries-x-mistakes]

you ever read a book/watch a movie where it causes the strongest primal rage in you? and you want to write a better story out of spite? Usually that’s where fan fiction comes in but I don’t even like the characters at all! I might as well write my own story at that point.

The book was A World Without Princes and while the premise is “deconstructing gender roles in fairy tales”, it did it in the most heteronormative/amatonormative and sexist way. Like this is the perfect opportunity to queer it up. Introduce trans or intersex characters who don’t neatly fit into that binary. Let princesses have a princess in the end of their story and not a prince. I kept hoping it would actually deconstruct and be a parody of what it was saying. But no the whole entire book framed “princesses don’t need a prince” as morally wrong and took that seriously. That girls ending up with boys is the proper and correct way to end fairytales. AAAAAH

So I’ve already started thinking of a way to do it better. I want a girl who realizes they might be a boy, a girl who realizes maybe they are a girl but they’d rather be a prince, a boy who realizes they prefer wearing dresses and being rescued, a boy who realizes they want to be a princess, a boy who doesn’t want to learn swordplay because they faint at the sight of blood. Something, anything. I want genderfuckery, I want it to be queer.

I’m mixing up that sentiment with the idea of a magical woods where the deeper you get the taller the trees get. But the locals use a lot of superstition to avoid it because the woods cause FairyTales and unless you are sure of the ending and your place in a story (an impossible feat), there’s no way to know what will happen to you. Most people never come back from the woods, and those who do come back are forever changed, not always in a good way. They never fit back into society, often wasting away at the thought of things they’ll never again have or be. I think I want it to have some horror vibes along with the fairytales and folklore.

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #absolutely frothing at the mouth about this #the school for good and evil #untitled fairy tale story #this got much longer than I wanted #fey talks #i could be wrong but this feels like it’s going to be an important wip for me #one of those that sticks around actually #one where I write more than a few thousand words in #idk I just have Feelings about this and fairy tales in general #like I used to love fairy tales growing up and then I realized I’m aro and trans and will never have a prince #i also love the folklore element to it #that these stories have been passed down for hundreds of years and what that says about humanity #like aaah the history of it

[kaeyachi]

NEW CANON KAEYA TIDBITS FROM THE KAEYA HANGOUT PT. 1

The heavy lore post will be posted later! These ones are just more on his personality, likes and dislikes, and brief history hehehe

SPOILERS BELOW!!

I'm doing things in bullet point form coz wow there's a lot

Was the gentle and polite child! Also frequently got sick. Addie frequently took care of him in those times hehe. Is it possible that this is because of his experiences prior to getting to Mond? Travelling as a child would have made him vulnerable to tougher weather and rapidly at that. I doubt that food comes easy too. Additionally, HE WAS LEFT IN A STORM. I still think Kaeya is gentle and polite, though he definitely gives the face of charming and sly (if it benefits him and it works then might as well keep it going!)

Kindness is so inherent in him that he automatically does kind acts. He only acts like he has an ulterior motive, and tbh? I bet that act is only to keep people away. I think I made a oneshot about this saying his biological father may be worried about this tendency? Or something similar. Worryingly enough, Kaeya clearly has a hard time accepting words of affirmation from literally everyone. Heartbreaking to see in action.

Diluc is a menace, asking Kaeya to help him in his mischief, tsk. Kaeya apparently also helps Diluc in the punishments he receives. Kaeya ended up doing the most of it :( (what are the odds of Kaeya also doing Diluc's paperwork while said redhead was out on the field? What if the reason Kaeya wasn't with Diluc and Crepus during that one fateful 18th birthday because he was covering for Diluc's shift...). Tbh? Kaeya never stopped covering for Diluc. Even now, he is still covering for Diluc (DKH).

This one set off alarms in my mind. Kaeya was apparently not a very good liar when he was younger. I now definitely think that Crepus knew Kaeya lied about his origins. The question is, did Diluc know Kaeya was not a strong liar before their fight? Or did he remember afterwards and was immediately faced with even more guilt?

He might actually have a sweet tooth! Dear god look at the number of desserts he ordered. Do note that Death Afternoon is a mixture that lessens the bitterness of Dandelion Wine. Additionally, Kaeya wasn't interested in wine when he was younger, he only grew into it because it reminds him of home after he left :( The Cider Lake drink is also sweet! And I'm guessing plain chicken mushroom skewers weren't sweet enough, so he decided to add fruits to it. I THINK CREPUS ACCIDENTALLY GOT HIM INTO LIKING ALCOHOL AFTER CREATING THE CIDER LAKE DRINK LMAO. Crepus suceeding in preventing alcohol intake from one child and ended up giving it to the other

Fairly sure he was being flirted on here by an entire group of mercenaries and just didn't realize which would make things extremely funny. They saw him and immediately went "we need to see that body in the dance floor ASAP". What if he doesn't realize he is being flirted on until he is slapped in the face with a confession? It's also funny if he flirts up a storm and not realize people are flirting back lmao

So I was right... he was not kicked out. He moved out on his own. Diluc is fine with him frequenting Dawn Winery, expects it even (lol my short 1 shot makes sense now). The staff keep asking him to come back and visit more frequently. Adelinde says that Kaeya is always part of the family. They become so happy when Kaeya comes back, it's like a weight is lifted off of everyone's chests. IT'S KAEYA WHO KEEPS SAYING HE'S A GUEST AND SEPARATING HIMSELF OUGH. He's the one trying to stay away after all :((( Let's summarize this: Kaeya was the sickly, quick to bruise, kind, gentle, and polite child who everyone in the staff (and Diluc) adores and still treats like he is their baby, but said baby of the family KEEPS LEAVING. Go home Kaeya!

Klee keeps looking for Kaeya! And Kaeya reads her bedtime stories!!! Hearing her voice ask where Kaeya was broke my heart, I think I'd like that used for angst purposes. Kaeya is once again letting a mischievous pyro user get away with causing mischief. Kaeya you enabler lmaaaoooo. Kaeya frequently rescues Klee from solitary confinement, done so enough times that Klee now does the same for him (I bet she thinks Kaeya is in solitary confinement whenever he's busy doing paperwork). Not to Kaebedo/Albekae you guys (I am Kaebedo/Albekae-ing you guys), but I'm fairly sure Kaeya and Albedo spend so much time together with Klee. Again, frequent enough that Albedo has tons of drawings of Kaeya (the 3 brushstrokes is a popular meme, but it actually is just a way to say that he has drawn Kaeya a lot. Bet he could draw Kaeya with his eyes closed haha). HE GOT THEM MATCHING GIFTS THATS ADORABLE

Speaking of gifts, he's a great gift giver! He really listens to people's needs and wants. What a thoughtful man (Diluc was right in his letters in hidden strife though. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF KAEYA). Speaking of, I'm guessing Kaeya is rich? Because I'm fairly sure the gifts were bought with his own pocket money and thus the huge amount of travel funds remaining (the gifts are expensive, surely it should have put a dent to the said funds had he used them)

THAT IS ALL FOR NOW, I MIGHT MAKE A PART 2 BECAUSE I WANT TO TACKLE MORE STUFF BUT THE PHOTO LIMIT GOT TO ME

#kaeya #kaeya alberich #kaeya hangout #kaeya hangout spoilers #genshin spoilers #other topics i want to discuss are diluc and his blatant big bro weakness of doing what the baby says #dude puts kaeya's gifts on display like a parent who would stick his child's drawings on a freezer #another one is that KOF captains are ALL actually rich and might not have realized that the money flowing around is a lot lol #one more is kaeya's strict distinction between informant and friend. His information network must be insane and frankly? Self-made and grow #we also see kaeya as a quick thinker multiple times and one with great strategies and solutions at that... what a skill #ALL THOSE AND MORE FOR PT 2. DAMN YOU PHOTO LIMIT

[fromtheseventhhell]

Imagine being 9 years old and asking your dad about the things you're interested in doing when you grow up and he's like "No ❤️! But you can get married, have babies, and then maybe your sons can do those things ☺️🫶 "

#arya stark #one of those /wtf Ned/ moments #then people act like she invented misogyny cause she was like /uuuhhhhh no thanks that's not me/ #/Arya is masculine/ and she's literally just a child who has interests outside of her patriarchy-assigned role #the way people read this and then demonize Arya for not silently conforming like people expect her to... #that's the ingrained misogyny from being socialized in a patriarchal society speaking babes 😭 #cannot stress enough how Arya is just an average little girl and what makes her behavior stand out is their society's strict gender norms #her life + learning almost entirely revolves around the fact that she is being raised to be a wife and people resent her for wanting more : #she is NINE in AGoT and her parents are discussing her refinement because /In a few years she will be of an age to marry/ #the way misogyny is explored in Arya's story is actually so brilliant and well-written (+ underappreciated) though #we feel the full weight of how restrictive their society is through her POV and get the experiences of lower-class women too #which is why it's so significant that George wrote her based on feminists who realized they wanted more than becoming wives/housewives #she's one of his key characters who will /change the world/ but people think he's sticking her on a boat bc she isn't feminine enough 😭 #thank god he's writing the books and not any of these reductive hacks who thinks misogyny is subversive 🙏🏾 #sidenote: would've loved to see this from her POV to get her feelings when he said this cause I'm sure it doesn't match Ned's perception #considering he views her main issues as being stubborn/difficult while we know about the self-esteem issues she has

[pagib1g]

bullysona dump (they/he/xe)

#yes yes i know i cant decide on a concrete design but this is gonna stick i promise #their names just mimi (i dont feel like giving em a last name) and theyre just O_O all the time #theyre just kind of a sad wet cat who likes to volunteer their time around campus #theyre not kissable btw they think jimmys a bald little weirdo #hmm maybe i should have a bullysona tag for this blog lol #(for the record im actually chill with all pronouns those are just the ones i use the most lol) #mimi (bully cce) 🍉 #self insert #bully cce #bully scholarship edition #bully oc #my art :^)

[aria0fgold]

My headcanons for the named trio in The Cursing of Chateau Castle series:

Josephandre is a big bear. It just fits for him I think! He gets he/him pronouns, and as a way to make him a liiiil more relatable for Mira, he'd have two craft types (Rock type being his main one and paper craft for the other). Battle style wise, I think it fits him to be more of a self-sustaining tank. He buffs defense, heals, and puts up shields. For his weapon, he'd use his fists like Isabeau. He'll be the second fastest in the trio.

Lady Irene-Janine-Kanine looks like an elegant noblewoman on the outside but she has vibes similar to Euphrasie! She gets she/her pronouns. Her craft type is Paper. Battle style wise, she's more on the offensive side, a main dps kind of thing. Most of her skills focus on buffing attack and speed, she'd have an item that helps regen her hp a lil bit and her chosen weapon is an umbrella. The tip is a sharp blade so it's used like a spear that has a hidden sword in its handle. Open it, and it becomes a shield! That'd be one of her skills too, although it's only applicable to her. She's the fastest one of the trio.

Pierre-Jacques-Erneste looks like a nobleman and carries himself as such! He gets he/they pronouns. Their craft type is Scissors. Battle style wise, he's more of a debuffer, skills focusing on weakening the enemies, slowing them down, poisoning them. Their weapon is a sword dagger, though he doesn't seem to be able to handle it well, how clumsy! But he Is a nobleman so it makes sense! Oh but... why doesn't he have a title? They're the slowest one of the trio, how strange, he seemed to be faster than Lady Irene-Janine-Karine that one time though.

#aria rants #how do i even tag these things bro im like-- why am i such a fan of a fragmented series in isat #okay so-- josephandre relied mostly on raw strength when he was travelling all alone before meeting the others #and i think he'd have a fun uncle vibe to him. which makes it easy for others to approach him and befriend him #but he Also carries a sort of pride and dignity to him which makes the others mistake him for a nobleman cuz of it #esp considering the fact that he later became famous for helping those in need and such. #lady irene on the other hand. being a noble she's always had to keep her guard up. also doesnt help that noblewomen #got the short end of the stick what with the ''arrange marriage'' things and being below noblemen #her umbrella weapon helps a lot in warding off the assholes. i think that during the journey with josephandre's party #she got to finally be herself without needing to sugarcoat her words in a way that a noble should. she would also figure out a #way to improve on her shield spell to not only apply to just her but her entire party too. she cares a lot about them after all #meanwhile i got a Whole scenario for pierre (being an illegitimate child of a noble family and all that. i made a post bout it) #he's actually a lot more capable than what he makes himself appear as. but its like part of the plan on getting the others #to lower their guards around him for when pierre betrays them. in actuality pierre is actually faster than irene altho #not much stronger still (irene and josephandre are still stronger than him) considering that pierre mainly focused on #stealth type attacks. hes more used to using a sword than a dagger (he mightve wanted to prove their worth) #it makes their battle style and weapon clash due to the fact that swords arent that good for stealth much than a dagger #its one of the reasons why hes trying to get used to the dagger than the sword. but it is a bit difficult to learn a new weapon

[sleepinglionhearts]

haven’t touched Genshin in a while, but here, have some OC doodles anyway

#doodles #oc art tag #genshin impact art tag #genshin scaramouche #genshin qiqi #genshin klee #genshin albedo #genshin baizhu #you know what i may write jun to be a terrible person but i do not like writing characters who are mean to children #of course he would encounter either of those lil gremlins while wandering #klee is not too troublesome aside from her near killing him #which does startle him he has not faced much of an actual threat in quite some time and then this little girl nearly Explodes Him #qiqi is... an unusual encounter #he just sorta follows her around after finding her on one of her herb gathering chores #ends up sticking around in liyue for a while to bother baizhu (yes there will eventually be art of that i have Ideas) #and yes those ideas do sort of link back to that comic w beidou where she's like 'ningguang wants you to LEAVE' #also hehe yeah he and scaramouche do not get along #more of a scara wants to murder him and jun is like 'haha that's cute you can try i guess :)' #it's not gonna work but hey #anyway anyway these have been sitting in my little sketchbook a while and i wanted to finally post them

[wiseatom]

anyway you can literally pry mike and will sw*ftie agenda from my cold, lifeless hands

#no hate to anyone not agreeing #however when has WILL CANONICALLY ever EVER showed to be pretentious with music #when has will EVER displayed the same music snob personality as jonathan #like canonically. really. point out a SINGLE time. #he of course loves the music bonding w jonathan and he loves the songs jonathan shows him but like genuinely. really and truly #i am asking you to point out anything about will's character that would indicate in any way he would be pretentious about music. #will's CANON traits repeated over and over are that he is sensitive and emotional and not like other boys #and that is not in the 'i want to be different' way like it is for jonathan. will canonically does not feel Better for being Different. #he just Is. #so like i absolutely one thousand percent believe he'd identify w her music that is sensitive and romantic and whimsical and tells stories #bc those are all things will either is or values. hello lol #and mike lmfao. mike literally tries to be like everyone else. if taylor is popular he's gonna listen and then the absolute bops are gonna #make him stick around. he'd definitely be a closet sw*ftie during rep era to go along w the crowd but he'd come back #also hold on let me circle back to the will point. even if he were pretentious u can't sit here and tell me taylor is not an incredible #songwriter who consistently puts out sonically cohesive albums (for the most part) and is able to nail almost any genre #even if he was Super Pretentious about music -- which to be clear he Would Not Be -- he would admire her for the artist she is #even if it wasn't his vibe. ANYWAY. BACK TO MIKE AKA I WILL LISTEN TO ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS IS COOL #he definitely has Opinions (calling should i stay or should i go Weird) but like. come on. his entire s3/4 arc is abt Desperately trying to #Conform. he'd listen to taylor lol. i just think he'd actually still like her for some of the same reasons as will #bc he also values story telling and then also probably just wordplay. #i'm so sorry to rant about this like i simply know it is not that deep but ALSO. Y'ALL LMFAO. the way that i'm seeing this opinion shared #'this isn't hating!' *is a hater* #<- also exactly what i'm doing but like PLEASSEEE #WILL =/= JONATHAN #AND LIKE MIKE IS EMBARRASSING. THT'S WHY WE LOVE HIM. HE'D ABSOLUTELY BLAST N BOP TO TAYLOR LOL #IDC IDC!!!!!! (CARES SO MUCH) THIS IS THE HILL I WILL DIE ON!!!!!!!!

[malikselfindulgence]

GWEN STACY LOVERS SQUAD LET'S MFING GOOOOOOOOO🤝🏼🤝🏼🤝🏼🤝🏼🤝🏼🤝🏼🤝🏼🤝🏼🤝🏼

GWEN STACY YOURE MY FUCKIN EVERRYTTHINNGGGG !!!!!! 🤝🤝🤝🤝 any iteration of gwen stacy Ily forever and Always but astv's gwen being canon trans is very Important and dear to me

Old Ass comic sketch from Blaze's spidersona days we never finished :[

#gwen stacy #spidersona #IDK WHAT TO TAG #i couldnt actually watch astv in cinemas since it got banned here BECAUSE of teh trans flag thing #WHICH FUCKING. UGGH^!!&!!!! #it getting banned didny bother me as much as the reception to that did #like ok i was mad obv. but it didnt personally upset me? ofc they were gonna ban it #but watching friends and family around me go GOOD we dont want those dirty queers in our media anyways #they should respect our beliefs and cut that out! not include it at all! #was like rlly. rlly upsetting. ok sorry for ranting in tags this has nothing to do w gwen stacy #we had two verses of our spidersona where one would end up as meee and one would end up as blaze #so first vers ME!! I stick with Gwen and she doesnt leave for the scholarship and she dies #second vers Blaze and Gwen have an arguement and Gwen leaves for the scholarship. BUT DIES THERE ANYWAYS #our spidersona was kinda average like compared to everybody else's but . I heart Him shes a silly goober :3 #malik's asks #ME X FORGETTING MY TAGS

[sysig]

Can love 😍💕💞❤️ bloom 🌻🌼🌹🌷💐 on the 🤜💥 battlefield?? (Patreon)

#Shitpost #My art #Wander Over Yonder #Fist Fighter #Lol #As high-effort as I'm willing to put in to make it appear low-effort <3 #Initially based on my silly little Fist Fighter OC(?) with a crush on Peepers - he's already started to morph a bit #Peepers might be a bit too high a station to pursue - shoot for the stars and all that! #But just by the sheer number of Fist Fighters and Watchdogs there's statistically gotta be one apiece that mesh well #And there's nothing that says he couldn't have a crush on Peepers to start! Kind of an ''Oh shit I guess some Watchdogs are kinda cute'' #Until that slowly congeals into ''Wait no most of the Watchdogs are pretty cute actually.......uh oh'' lol #If he's gonna stick around he needs a name tho hmmm #Kinda tossing around Keith but I'd like to pull up some references to verbally-named Watchdogs first #That's another thing I've been thinking about - from my recollection/what I've seen in rewatching - #It seems like all the Watchdogs have either masculine or unisex names and are shown to be at least visually understood as male #And depending on how Word Of God you wanna go Craig McCracken has confirmed there are female Watchdogs on their home planet but like #There are feminine names /on/ Wander's list for the Giftening 2 but we only see them sneaking onto the Skullship! #Yes those are almost certainly staff-and-loved-ones Easter eggs >:P Do I care? Am I still going to integrate it into my HCs? Take a guess |D #And anyway that's Just the Watchdogs - unfortunately Awesome's force aren't really seen often enough to get names :( #Hell just finding a speaking line of theirs was a rare treat haha ♪ Up until then I almost thought they were mute! #Seems redundant because like - Bring Back WOY first of all of - but more Fist Fighters! They're too cute!

[euphor1a]

Hello, my belovedest petals 🌸

It’s been,,, 365 days since I started posting on here 🎀 (the first post made on this blog, for reference!), and I just wanted to thank all of you for being here, from the bottom of my heart ♡

To celebrate, I’ve changed my blog theme entirely (both on mobile n desktop) >.<! I wanted to do something ~unusual~ that is not out of my reach and capabilities, so I thought maybe this would be a good idea... I mean, everyone likes to look at pretty things, right? So I hope you guys can look at all the pretty gfx I made and feel happy in some way 🦋✨🌆! It took me whole 4 days and probably 40+ hours of brainstorming and working on everything, so I really hope my hardwork paid off! 💖💜

Tumblr has never been an easy place for me to be on as I struggle with interactions, building connections, and as a result get lonely very easily. More than often, I’ve felt like an outsider on my own blog, because of how unwelcomed I had felt in a space that is created by me. But, I’m trying to work on those things slowly, especially on how to be rational with my own feelings, and not listening to my brain whenever it’s being unnecessarily mean. About interactions though, it’ll probably take me a long time to actually show improvements, but I promise I’m trying my best always ^^! I appreciate everyone who has ever made an effort to interact with me, I see you and I appreciate you lots, even if it doesn’t feel that way 🫂

That got a bit heavy, no? Don’t mind it, please :( those who have seen me for long enough probably know that I’m kind of like this, but still ╥ ╥

Lastly, I wanted to say thank you so much, once again! I hope my presence here can be a positive one for me and you all as long as I’m here; let’s be happy in this silly little corner of the internet ♡

much love,

aleyna 💌

#✦🎖️✦ milestones! #happy 1st anniversary to euphor1a 🌸💕✨ #it’s been a less bumpy ride than my previous blogs #still pretty bumpy but hey i’ll take this over my previous experiences without any complaints #so happy to be here and to be able to see this day with so many people who chose to stick around for one reason or another 🤎 #aaaaand a very special shout-out to those who have been with me since cupidchois & lushtans ♥︎ #me thinks it’s crazy that some people are still here even after watching me have like a million breakdowns over a variety of things #sorry to anyone who’s new here you actually signed up for a low-key insane person writing stuff once in a while #but always losing her mind over someone or something aksgsjks #🎉 – tumbversary! #i wanted to post this like 12 hours ago but i wasn’t done with all the work yet #i hope everything looks okay.... tbh i’m pretty disappointed bc it doesn’t look the way i thought it would :( #but too bad ig. i won’t be changing my theme until next year again. lol

[mattodore]

gm friends and lovers guess who finally picked out three photos for this slutty mattodore edit

#river dipping #''good morning'' it's 3AM :) it's rlly just me and my eastern hemisphere mutuals against the world rn #there's actually four images but the fourth image is one that i'm gonna be sticking under a readmore anyway #these are gonna stay 16:9 because i've realized that images (even ones not resized) are actually pretty clear on tumblr if they're 16:9 #.........they're also staying their original dimensions bc if i tried to crop them i would be chopping whole chunks of the sims off #matthias is kinda spread out on the floor so . like i rlly can't crop it even if i wanted to jdkfhhjkn #also took more photos of matthias in those muzzle poses i made too but... idk. i'm rlly having a hard time taking photos of it jdnkhjn #i'll probably try retaking them AGAIN if i don't just wind up giving it up to god and going with really close up edits of just their faces #idk... we'll see whenever i get around to it. #but i'm probably going to spend the night editing these photos and listening to a random jerma stream or maybe if books could kill #OR behind the bastards bc i'm soooo behind on it i don't think i've listened to it in months ugh

[sapphire-weapon]

But sapphire didn't you hear that the devs didn't want them holding hands????

LMAO STOP

you guys are so fucking stupid fdjsklfhlkhf

#but for real though #who are these people and how do they find me #I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT PERSON THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO ACHIEVE #you're not going to 'gotcha' me with this #every time this comes up i'm just like #oh so you don't understand how game dev works #the guy in question was not an executive producer #those are the only guys who have carte blanche authority to say 'kill this i want it gone' #he was one of two directors #and the other director wanted it in #the director who was telling this story was clearly taking the piss #and the handholding was probably in actuality removed for gameplay reasons #and #let me just say #for the like fifth time #I'M REALLY GLAD THEY TOOK IT OUT #SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE OF THE GAMEPLAY PROBLEMS IT WOULD CAUSE #like holy fuck you daft idiots really think that a game gets designed around the prospective holes that leon can stick his dick into

[ichorousisopod]

I held one!!!!!!!!

#mine #isoposting #isopods #we ignore my chipped nail polish 🙏 #this is the... I think second time in my life I've willingly held an insect #well actually scratch that I've caught moths and fireflies before #but other than those. I've had a stick insect on my hand once #and well....an isopod ain't even an insect but it's got the legs and the segments and the antennae #but awww the clowns are just too cute to be freaked out by #and this one wasn't scared to crawl around on my finger for a bit #I don't think I could hold the pieds until they chill out and stop being so skittish #my powders hid and ran so much at first and now after a few months #they're bold and all over the place #they didn't eat much at first either. same as the pieds who aren't touching the treat I left them at all #so I hope they'll gain confidence eventually #I can't hold my powders though. they're too fragile to touch

[tamagotchikgs]

been trying to figure out just how i am going to explain how wildly my brain has been altered since the last time i saw my therapist && it make me realize all of this has happened in 1 month,,,,,,,,,,, it feels like . eons. eternity . in the best way possible

#normally everything feels so short #my anxiety just speeds me through it before i can even take a second to enjoy or even experience anything. everything is a dusty blur #but ive been ok #i've actually had good times ive mayb even started 2 feel close to a person for the first time in my life #feel safe w them #anxiety cant get me when im in their shield bubble #listening 2 em talk n even just Exist like woag ur the best thing in this whole world #just bbzbzbzbzbbzz #of course there r also the Horrors that do come w it just due 2 my avpd but . it still feels so different #and i like to ignore those because they make me feel like a monster i am not jealous noo i am so normal i am very normal #i am beating my jealousy side with a stick and i Will win #i have never and Will never act on it #if i ignore it they cant b real #also i do know it's illogical whihc helps #honestly though im used 2 it because ill get jealous if like . a stranger is nice to me and then is nice to some1 else. like oh. oh it was #all a rouse u want me dead u hate me #and it's like. homie. pal. that is normal. they're not abandoning u theyre not trying to set u up for humiliation #theyre just living their life #it's kinda weird tho because i will get feelings like that simultaneously with knowing i am Nothing i am a Horrid beast no one deserves to #even have to see #and knwoing i am not allowed to care about people and there is no shot in hell they will be even nice to me #so it;s just . a lot of things swirling constant;ly #painful emotions all around there is no joy #(except for rn. with them. i can b free from my brain)

[lieutenantselnia]

I've been thinking about whether my way of naming my self-inserts might be a bit inconvenient ... to clear it up:

Selina with an i - My modern day s/i that I ship with Doofenshmirtz, she's probably the closest to my actual self, though I still take creative liberties in some aspects.

Selena with an e - My PotC s/i, I have two different AUs for her to ship her with both Barbossa and Davy Jones. She's a bit more like an oc, but I still also see her as a self-insert.

My original thought was to give them slightly different names, so I won't always have to mention about which universe I'm currently referring to. Since they're all based on the same "template" character though (which is just ... me I guess😂), I didn't want to give them entirely different names, plus while I didn't want to use my actual first name anymore, I still wanted a name that I can identify with. In my head it makes total sense, but I can see that this may also be a bit confusing😅

#not actually sure how to handle this if I want to make more s/is as the number of reasonable variations is surely limited #*looking at the Black Cauldron s/i that's been floating around in my head since last Halloween or so* #(tbf she doesn't really exist yet aside from some very vague backstory concepts but i really want to create her) #aside that I also sometimes have the inner logic of 'Selina' - more self-insert and 'Selena' - more oc like #or 'Selina' - modern day and 'Selena' - historical/fantasy setting but I can't really commit to either of those concepts #like I think adding more name variations into the mix for every s/i might make things more confusing #but on the other hand when I just stick to those two it kinda renders the entire system pointless and I might as well just use one #but I've already gotten kinda used to them by now ... aahhhg why do I have to make these things so complicated in my head😖 #self ship #self insert #self insert lore #sorta I guess? #selnia talks

[kakusu-shipping]

Speed Ran through Mario Galaxy 2 Yesterday while sick because I couldn't remember why I disliked it so much and wanted to see if that was just younger me being biased. It was not.

But I regained my love for Lubba and Dino Piranha, so that's something at least.

#Emile's Arts #Sorry Galaxy 2 fans I am not one of you #I like the ending scene better than 1's at least #Headcanon that Rosalina fills the Mario Bros with a very profound sadness when she's near us #And none of us know why #I can't decide if it's memories from the past future seeping through the holes of reality and still reaching us #Or if her magic naturally projects her emotions and old blurry memories onto those around her #I like the idea of the second one and it being something she was born with #Because currently I write Rosalina very Emotionless Autistic #She feels obviously she has a big heart full of love and sorrow and stuff but she doesn't show it often #But her natural magic sort of bleeds that onto people around her so everyone always knows how she's feeling #I think that's neat #but either works still the flow of time isn't real so we could be getting memories of things that haven't happened yet #Anyway #Dino Piranha my baby puppy dog I have no idea if that'll stick but I do really love him #My S/I does NOT go into space during Galaxy unless he's like. In Peach's Castle when it happens #So actually he might but proooooooobably not? #I'll figure it out later #I'm mashing Galaxy 1 and 2 together into one thing because they're basically the same game #Just Galaxy 1 has a story and Galaxy 2 has Lubba my beloved #And Prince Luma wearing Mario's hat that is SUPER important to me as well. Mario canonically got his hat snatched by a star baby #Amazing