#on brand obi wan kenobi nonsense | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

willowcrowned · 3 years

Text

Star Wars Time Travel AU - Flavor: Anakin and Obi-Wan, from ROTJ to TPM

I asked, you guys answered. Here it is: Obi-Wan and Anakin get sent back to TPM after ROTJ, and proceed to confuse everyone. In everyone’s defense, Anakin and Obi-Wan have a lot of confusing trauma.

The thing about being dead is that it’s not quite as restful as everyone made it out to be.

Oh, Obi-Wan is sure that if he’d done the irresponsible thing and ignored Qui-Gon and passed properly into the netherworlds of the Force instead of following his bloody Path of the Whills, he would be perfectly happy floating along as part of the larger universe. And alright, he doesn’t regret doing it because Luke desperately needed the help, what with Yoda’s isolation having made him only more reticent, but it’s still annoying. Because even though he watched Anakin toss Sidious down a reactor shaft and die peacefully in his sons arms before moving on, the next phase of existence looks a whole lot like the Healer’s Ward at the Jedi temple forty years ago, and he’s being stared at by one very alive-looking Mace Windu.

“Hello there,” Obi-Wan says, because being dead is no excuse for being impolite. “Whose idea was it to decorate like this? I find it rather gauche.”

One also very alive looking Vokara Che sends him a warning look. “Large windows and pale colors are beneficial to the health of patients.”

“Oh, I think we’re rather past the need for worrying about our health,” Obi-Wan jokes.

Vokara just gives him a confused and suspicious look. “Are you alright, Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan feels hysterical laughter bubble up inside him. He’s dead. He watched the Jedi fall, felt their deaths like they were his own and heard the Force crying out at the pain and wrongness of it all; he disfigured— attempted to kill— one of the few people he had ever loved, fully and unconditionally, and felt the attempt rend him further apart in the process, and then he watched as that person twisted themself into a horrible facsimile of what they once were; he hid for twenty years on a desert planet while slowly detaching himself from his physical body so he could train and advise a child on whom he pinned nearly all his hopes; he was killed by Vader, and then watched Luke save him— save the man Obi-Wan couldn’t— and saw Vader kill Sidious, and then die. And now— now— he has finally passed on, expecting rest and peace, only to wake up in the healer’s ward of a temple that was destroyed.

Obi-Wan laughs, sharp and harsh and slightly deranged. “No,” he says, “I am not.”

“Yeah,” says a voice from next to him, “I get that.”

Obi-Wan turns to see Anakin— wait, no. Obi-Wan turns to see an unharmed Anakin— well, not quite. Obi-Wan turns to see Anakin, alive, unharmed, whole... and all of nine years old.

“Anakin?” Obi-Wan asks, surprised. He’d assumed that this odd make-believe healer’s ward was a result of the Path of the Whills— a journey that Anakin had decidedly not undertaken.

“Yep,” Anakin says crossing his arms. “So, this is what being dead is like? I’d assumed it would be less, uh,” he searches for the word, “medical.”

“It could be a construct,” Obi-Wan suggests, “while our consciousnesses slowly dissipate— a waystation of sorts. Of course,” he frowns, “that doesn’t explain why you’re here.”

“Excuse me,” Mace Windu says, very on-edge, “but what exactly are you two talking about?”

“Ugh,” Anakin complains, lying back, “why is he here?”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan says, acerbic, “I wonder why he could be here, what with that fall you gave him.”

Anakin flushes, embarrassed. “Fair point.”

“So,” Obi-Wan turns to Mace Windu, “where are we exactly?”

Windu raises an extremely suspect eyebrow. “You’re in the Healer’s Ward at the Jedi temple on Coruscant.”

“Well, yes,” Obi-Wan says, a touch exasperated, “but where are we?”

Windu frowns at him.

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin says, “I don’t think he knows what you mean.”

Windu casts an evaluating glance at Anakin. “No, I don’t.”

Obi-Wan gives him a curious look before turning back to Anakin. “Perhaps he’s part of the construct.” He pauses. “Speaking of, why have you chosen to look like that?”

“Like what?” Anakin blinks confused.

“Like—” Obi-Wan huffs. “Does anyone have a mirror?”

“There’s one in the fresher,” Vokara Che says.

Anakin hops out of bed, and after a moment, Obi-Wan follows him to the fresher.

“Oh sweet stars and suns,” Anakin breathes, looking at his ten year old face. “I really used to look like this?”

Obi-Wan looks in the mirror as well, shocked to find that he looks as he did when he was twenty, padawan braid and all. “You know, I’m actually very glad that I’m never going to have to try to unpack the psychological implications of this,” he remarks.

Anakin snorts. “Yeah, why’d you choose to look like that?”

“I... didn’t,” Obi-Wan realizes. Before, he’d been able to change his appearance to living beings. He hadn’t for Luke, partially because Luke probably wouldn’t have taken very well to a thirty year old Obi-Wan, and partially because there wasn’t a point, given that Force ghosts didn’t get creaky knees.

“Weird,” Anakin says.

They head out of the fresher to see that Vokara Che and Mace Windu are looking at them as if they’ve grown second heads.

“So let me unpack this,” Windu says, “you both think you’re dead.”

Anakin and Obi-Wan look at each other.

“We have reason to believe so, yes,” Obi-Wan replies, amused. “Are you going to try to convince us that we’re not?”

Windu raises one very unimpressed eyebrow. “I would think that even a padawan would be able to look into the Force to see that they’re not dead.”

Obi-Wan looks at Anakin, who shrugs. It seems that neither of them have allowed themselves to be very connected to the Force. It must be a force of habit— Obi-Wan had been careful on Tatooine to never let too much of the outside filter in, for fear of Vader finding him, and for fear that the dark currents in the Force would sweep him away. Perhaps Vader had done a similar thing.

“Shall we?” Obi-Wan suggests to Anakin. At this point, it’s likely that this is the construct telling them both that they need to connect to the Force to finally relinquish their consciousnesses.

Anakin shrugs. “Can’t make things worse, right?”

Obi-Wan snorts. “On three?”

Anakin nods.

“One, two, three.”

Obi-Wan drops his outer shielding, letting the Force filter through.

What he feels isn’t the ethereal, ineffable currents of the Force, calling him to drift among them as they had during his time as a Force ghost. What he feels is thousands of bright lights, sparks where there should be void, and a darkness that has surrounded everything but not yet consumed it.

“Oh,” Obi-Wan breathes. “Anakin, I’m not sure we’re dead.”

Anakin doesn’t say anything back, and Obi-Wan turns to see him crying.

“They’re alive,” Anakin whispers, tears rolling down his cheeks, face frozen in wonder and horror and guilt. “They’re all alive.”

Obi-Wan can feel them— every single one— and a lump rises in his throat. “It’s—” he starts, but he can’t finish the sentence. “We—”

Anakin nods, face still frozen. “How?”

“I—” Obi-Wan shakes his head, “I don’t know.”

“We were— you were—”

“I know.”

“And now they’re—” Anakin takes a deep breath, small body shuddering, and Obi-Wan instinctively gathers him up in his arms, holding him close.

“It’s impossible,” Obi-Wan says. “You were dead. I was dead. I felt it.”

“Luke,” Anakin chokes, “We—”

“We’re alive,” Obi-Wan says hoarsely. “The Jedi are alive— none of it has to happen.”

“Mustafar,” Anakin adds, hoarse. “Padmé.”

“The Death Star. Alderaan.” Obi-Wan says in a dark undertone. Then, louder, “I will be very cross if I get chopped in half again.”

Anakin frowns at him, momentarily distracted. “The blow didn’t hit. I should know. You have nothing to complain about.”

“I have nothing to complain about?” Obi-Wan replies, indignant. “I was on Tatooine for twenty years!”

“You cut off my arms and legs!” Anakin shouts.

Obi-Wan huffs. “Only three!”

“I was stuck in a stupid life-support suit for twenty! Fucking! Years!” Anakin retorts. “Do you know how much that sucked? I couldn’t eat real food! I fucking suffocated just because I took off my helmet to see my son in my last breaths!”

“You killed me!” Obi-Wan shouts indignantly.

There’s a cough from beside him, and a silence as Vokara Che, Mace Windu, and several very nosy padawans stare at him.

Obi-Wan looks at them, slightly embarrassed by his outburst. “I got better.”

Anakin looks at Obi-Wan, the rage in his eyes not Vader’s, but Anakin’s, and then slowly, slowly, it dissipates.

Anakin snorts. “Fuck, we made a mess of things.”

A small, sad, smile creeps on to Obi-Wan's face. “We really did.” He sighs. “I suppose we’ll have to fix everything.”

Anakin shrugs. “Well, Sith Lords are our specialty.” He sighs. “And then I’m retiring on Naboo and learning to fish.”

#i know at first glance this looks like a very normal AU #but keep an eye out for the next post #which is about what happens AFTER they get rid of sidious #it devolves into my usual brand of nonsense VERY quickly #obi-wan and anakin ignore their trauma by quipping (as usual)#don't worry i'm sure they start going to therapy off screen #sugar baby ben au #star wars #willow's aus #star wars au #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker

555 notes · View notes

smhalltheurlsaretaken · 4 years

Text

THE BOX IS NABOO

That’s it, I’m doing it, I’m writing that stupid meta I’ve had in the works for two and a half years, I’m sharing it with the world. I promised it for last Thursday, my poll was forever ago, but whatever! I’m writing that freaking thing.

(super duper long post, press j to skip)

Enter my rabbit hole.

First thing to establish: the Box makes no sense whatsoever in-universe.

((EDIT: Something I forgot to mention. IRL, the premise of a giant murder cube and the aesthetic - wall patterns, light designs, etc - of the episode come from the 1997 horror movie Cube, (see the episode’s wookieepedia page). However, while the two are very closely linked visually, the Box does not follow the movie structurally or narratively, as you can verify by simply reading the movie’s summary.))

Recap of the context for the "Box" episode (s4e17): Palpatine is planning his own kidnapping. It was never meant to succeed, and while the plan would obviously benefit him (making the Jedi look bad, pushing Anakin closer to the Dark Side, making Republic citizens more afraid -> more docile, etc...) his actual goal is never explained, and it’s weird that he’d go to such extreme lengths for results so minimal that we’re never told what they are.

So Palpatine asks Dooku to kidnap him at the Festival of Lights on Naboo. Dooku hires Moralo Eval to design a giant box-thingy to test bounty hunters to hire the best of them to kidnap Palpatine. Moralo then gets arrested to alert the Republic that something is afoot, and hires Cad Bane to break him out. Obi-Wan - undercover to learn Moralo’s plan - goes with them. They evade capture and go to Serenno, and Bane and Obi-Wan have to pass the box-thingy test. The level of brainkarked logic here... Truly on par with Megamind, Gru and Heinz Doofenshmirtz.

Setting aside the insane plot holes and utterly nonsensical behavior of the villains, the Box itself is moronic from a plot perspective. It’s insanely complex, obviously incredibly expensive and would have taken months (more like years but it’s a short war) to make when it’s not even needed for the dastardly plot! Just hire some guys who have already proven themselves against Jedi! Throw cash at Bane and Embo and a few others! Maybe attack them with your saber and see how they do!

And after all that, Dooku still ends up trying to kidnap Palpatine on his own. I can’t even...

So why does the Box exist? Well, apart from being a nerdy callback to Cube, giving us a good thrill and being generally awesome to look at, it has actual narrative purpose within the SW universe.

The box is Naboo.

What the Box lacks in plot relevance, it makes up for with its heavily symbolic meaning. It very closely follows Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon’s experiences on Naboo - but only certain parts, which I’ll explain later.

We start with clean, sterile environments, SW’s favored way of showing villainy.

Then we have the protagonists locked in a room as dioxis, a poison gas, pours in.

And then they escape... this way.

(Okay, here the shaft is down, not up. And it’s not a ventilation shaft per say, it’s the designed escape route. Same difference).

We then skip most of TPM (namely, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon discovering the droid army, finding Padmé, leaving Naboo, landing on Tatooine, going to Coruscant, etc, etc) to come back to Naboo and go directly to the lightsabers and catwalks.

(Note: in both scenes, Obi-Wan has to propel himself from a catwalk.)

In TPM and TCW, the catwalks are immediately followed by ray shields

And we finally end with the last scenes. Now, they don’t look the same but they are structurally identical.

Obi-Wan is faced with a challenge unsuited for his abilities (facing Darth Maul // shooting three moving targets when he’s far more skilled with a blade than a blaster) on a narrow space above a melting pit/pit of fire.

He first watches someone die failing to complete the task...

... and has to do it himself, faring much better than expected (holding his own against Maul // shooting all the targets easily).

He then almost falls to his death and gets saved unexpectedly.

And then there’s the final showdown.

In both scenes, Obi-Wan is angry. And in TCW Dooku eggs him on, banking on his anger. (More on that later.) In both cases though, he centers himself and is able to overcome both his opponent and his own unbalance. But in TCW, he doesn’t go for the kill, because he doesn’t need to.

The Box, as a literal character-explorator ex-machina, thus shows us Obi-Wan’s growth.

In TPM, Obi-Wan follows Qui-Gon’s lead. In TCW, he is the leader. He identifies the gas, makes the plans. He doesn’t fall from catwalks anymore - he runs atop moving ones. He doesn’t stay stuck behind ray-shields, he finds the solution. (Btw, how did Moralo know what blood type Derrown the Exterminator was? There was a 50% chance of him dying - thus killing all of the bounty hunters. Was that an acceptable outcome? TCW I need answers!) He doesn’t slay his foes, because he’s become powerful enough, skilled enough and wise enough to survive (and win) without needing to kill.

He’s grown - and, even more interestingly, he’s also stayed the same. In the previous episodes, we see some of the dark aspects of Obi-Wan. How he - like all Force-wielders, all people - could lose himself if he stopped maintaining absolute control.

But in the Box, surrounded by the worst criminals of the Galaxy, the most ruthless, worthless people, he’s still kind and tries his best to keep them alive.

The Box is a reminder and a reassurance for the audience that Obi-Wan Kenobi is still there under Rako’s face. He hasn’t lost his compassion, his restrain. He’s still a Jedi. And he’s an awesome, badass one.

And now, for what it tells us about Dooku!

It’s much shorter, don’t worry. Basically, Dooku considers that the best way to pick “the best of the best” of the deadliest people in the Galaxy is making them go through what killed his Padawan. There, I’ve broken your hearts, you’re welcome.

More seriously, Dooku is a manipulative ass. It’s pretty clear that he knows Rako is Obi-Wan, or at the very least suspects it.

He has an interesting reaction upon learning Rako’s identity, he keeps praising him despite his usual distaste for low-lifes, he smirks secretively after Eval says “I’ll show you who’s weak” (not included there because it’s a close-up of Dooku’s lips and no one wants to see that) and he tells Rako he’s very disappointed when he doesn’t finish off Eval.

[Later]

(Look at this smug asshole - I can’t. YOUR GRANDSON IS THE BEST, WE KNOW, STOP ACTIVELY RUINING HIS LIFE ALREADY.)

(Dooku... why...)

Now obviously Dooku couldn’t have made the Box specifically for Obi-Wan, because it would have to have been designed months before the Council ever decided to send Obi-Wan undercover, but he has no qualms trying to use it to push Obi-Wan to the Dark Side. Ffs Dooku, making your spiritual grandson relive one of the most traumatic events of his life on the off chance that he’ll join you (and desecrate his Master’s memory in doing so) is not okay!

Final tidbits of analysis: I mentioned that not all of TPM is mirrored in the Box. What’s omitted is the droids (even though Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon fight B1′s and droidekas between the dioxis and the ventilation shafts) and anything pertaining to Sidious (all the political stuff on Coruscant). You’ll also note that the fake lightsabers are orange.

=> The Box distances itself from anything that connects Dooku to Naboo. Red lightsabers are the trademark of the Sith, so they’re not used. The bounty hunters will be facing Jedi, so logically the fake sabers should be green or blue - and yet they’re orange, the color closest to red without being red. It fits with Dooku’s special brand of dishonesty - he always tells bits of the real story but twists them just enough to absolve himself of any fault and to justify his choices.

(”We can destroy the Sith” -> could maybe destroy Sidious with Obi-Wan, but fails to mention he’s a Sith Lord himself; “the Viceroy came to me for help, that’s why I’m attacking the Republic” -> political idealism is a small part of it, but fails to mention he’s Sidious’ underling and is playing the Viceroy like a fiddle; “Qui-Gon would have joined me” -> maybe, still fails to mention he’s working for the man who ordered Qui-Gon’s death; “I told you everything you needed to know” -> debatable, never said that Palps was Sidious; “Sifo-Dyas understood, that’s why he helped me” -> partly true, doesn’t admit to killing Sifo-Dyas right after getting his help)

So we have a twisted version of Naboo, droid-free (as droids are now irrevocably associated with Dooku, even if that wasn’t the case in TPM) and with sabers that aren’t quite red. Keep in mind that Dooku had already fallen by TPM. (We know this because he killed Sifo-Dyas and created the Clone Army - part of Sidious’ plan - when Valorum was still Chancellor, as per the episode The Lost One.) That means Dooku was (in)directly complicit in Qui-Gon’s death. And the Box doesn’t (=refuses to?) acknowledge that.

(Also omitted in the Box are the Gungans and Tatooine. It makes sense, because Dooku probably wouldn’t have the full details regarding those parts of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan’s missio as they weren’t as public, and would see them as irrelevant if he did. He utterly despises Anakin, and Gungans are the type of people he always dismisses out of hand).

Anyway, that’s my two cents about the Box. To quote Lucas...

“It’s like poetry. It rhymes.”

Thanks to @lethebantroubadour @impossiblybluebox @nonbinarywithaknife @ytoz and @kaitie85386 for voting for this one. Next up is a compilation of the Jedi being casually tactile with each other (because they’re a warm and affectionate culture, dammit).

Also thanks to @laciefuyu for giving me gifs I ended up not using ^^; you rock anyway!

#meta #my meta #the box #deception arc #rako hardeen #rako hardeen arc #naboo #obi-wan kenobi #count dooku #cad bane #moralo eval #darth sidious

1K notes · View notes

kneamet · 3 years

Text

Masterlist

Tom Hiddleston

Basic:

- Popular character's Tom Hiddleston in yandere (part 1)

- Popular character's Tom Hiddleston in yandere (part 2)

[Tom Hiddleston]

- Protection

- I adore you

- Failed Escape

- Patient №73 (fan fiction) — You-a hard-working doctor is transferred to another mental hospital, where you are immediately assigned a very strange, but friendly patient №73. However, you also have to find out the reason why he killed one person. What you don’t know is that when your shift with him is over, he won’t want to let you go.

- Mysterious man

- Pure Admiration

- Branding

- Real Fan

- Toes

- Angel of Cards (fan fiction) — Joker, Mr. J, anarchist psychopath, Tom Hiddleston. He had many nicknames. Joker was Gotham's most dangerous and insightful man, with sharp makeup and horribly memorable scars on his face in the form of a smile. He was absolutely crazy and deadly. No one knows his real identity and everyone is afraid of his cruel jokes. But what happens when he becomes obsessed with an ordinary girl? She belongs to him. No one can take her away from him. Even The Batman.

- Betrayal

- Portrait

- CEO

- Donation

- Dependence (fan fiction) — There were many charms in life. However, Tom Hiddleston, having tried the most forbidden ones, could no longer imagine his life without them. The rest for him was nonsense, not worth his attention. After all, in order to survive, he needs to find a dose, thanks to which he feels better, not paying attention to the other rabble that reigns around. He doesn't care about his mother, who brings men into the house; he doesn't care about his sisters, whom he envies; he doesn't care about the whole world. But soon his search for a new dose will turn into a search for a girl who has won a victory over his drug-addicted mind, absorbing him completely and occupying all his thoughts. And he won't stop until he gets what he wants.

[Loki]

- Showing love

- Forced

- Necklace

- Second time

- Westview

- the legend of the god of lies (drabble)

- dance crescent (drabble)

[Robert Laing]

- Danger

- Daddy's little princess

[Thomas Sharpe]

- Control

- Older Brother (fan fiction) — What if the story of Crimson Peak existed in reality? A menacing atmosphere, Gothic dresses and costumes, an intriguing Sharpe family, with a sister who has a rather strange relationship with her older brother Thomas.

- Disappointment

- Fear

- Flower

- Perfect

[Hank Williams]

- My little wife

- Songbird

- Support

- Inspiration

- Delusion (fan fiction) — She was the only girl in his band whose singing he loved so much. She was the person he truly respected. Andy Miles was someone Hank Williams had an unrelenting obsession with.

[Scott Fitzgerald]

- His Muse

- "The Trap of the Word"

[Jaguar!Tom Hiddleston]

- Pancakes

- Typical Stalker

- Opponent

- Tears

- Danses

[Freddie Page]

- Dangerous Help

- I'll always find you

[Prince Hal/Henry V]

- My Venus

[Jonathan Pine]

- Proposal

- Juliet

- Never

[James Nicholls]

- Christmas Gift

- Baby

[Adam]

- Ray of sun

Ewan Mcgregor

Basic:

- Ewan McGregor's characters in yandere (1 part)

- Ewan McGregor's characters in yandere (2 part)

- Ewan McGregor's characters in yandere (3 part)

[Obi-Wan Kenobi]

- A dream does not dry on a knife

- glance — and hysteria will begin (drabble)

- requiem for fate (drabble)

- bound by blood (drabble)

- the extinguished star (drabble)

- The stars all belong to the Gods

[Christian]

- le désir de peindre (drabble)

[Roman Sionis]

- The Caged Bird

- my beautiful madness (drabble)

- blood moom ball (drabble)

[Patrick McKenna]

- angels don't fly (drabble)

- All the roses go to hell

- crown of thorns (drabble)

[Mark Renton]

- black sun (drabble)

[Curt Wild]

- amore amore (drabble)

[Christopher Robin]

- Chance

[Jonathan McQuarry]

- Illusions

A/N I don't have a lot of stories yet, but I promise that the master list will be updated every day.

#tom hiddleston #kidnapping #obsessive #loki #yandere #yandere loki #masterlist #obsessive tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x you #obsession #yandere tom hiddleston #ewan mcgregor #ewan mcgregor x reader #yandere obi wan kenobi

246 notes · View notes

legobiwan · 4 years

Text

THE MANDALORIAN, EPISODE 8

Guys, I am taking literal notes on this, like, more notes than I ever took in grad school

Okay, so the opening with the two stormtroopers. This is Peak Taika, in that it is funny, realistic (in a way that unearths the absolute horror of the Imperial regime, of military protocol and boredom, and a lack of regard for sentient life (get your god damn hands off Baby Yoda!) This being said, one of the few criticisms I have of Taika (and I say this as a Loki fan, fyi), is that he is occasionally self-indulgent with his humor and the opening went on about a minute too long.

But the line “astute panic” - ha!

CARA IS FROM ALDERAAN? HELLO BACKSTORY!!!!! WHAAAAT?

Also, Gideon referenced the Siege of Mandalore, as in, what we are going to see in TCW soon, I’m assuming, just...okay, look here. This whole arc traces back to OBI-WAN AND SATINE, AND EVEN BEFORE THAT, BUT WE CANNOT DISCOUNT the degree to which Obi-wan is enmeshed in Madalore’s narrative holy shit.

Night of 1,000 Tears OH NO

I love that being Mandalorian isn’t being a race, it’s a creed (found family forever!). And someone on reddit smartly pointed out that the Mandalorians who rescued Din Djarin were Death Watch which really asks some questions about Satine and her regime on Mandalore and just...I. Can’t. Handle. All. Of. This. And. The. Political. And. Personal. Implications.

MAGNA DROIDS IN THE FLASHBACK

So apparently having characters hide in underground bunkers is a thing in Star Wars, see: Din Djarin, Ezra Bridger, and Jyn Erso.

Okay, so Baby Yoda is laughing/cooing at the Stormtroopers being shot at and like...does anybody else here worry about this? At least, in terms of a young Force-sensitive being exposed to so much violence at an “early” age and is Baby Yoda going to go dark because of all of it? Even though it’s kiiind of for the greater good? Is this the great debate about Jedi morality and the Code and how it is morally well-conceived but impractical in a rough, violent universe? I can’t stop thinking about it, like what do you do in this situation? And is Baby Yoda going to turn Sith I really need to know.

I’m sorry, but is Greef Craga drinking the same blue alcohol Obi-wan did in AotC?

GODS I LOVE CARA DUNE BLAST THE SHIT OUT OF THAT VENT

Who is the Stormtrooper with the red stripes and why do they look distinctly Clone Wars-era?

MAGIC. HAS. CONSEQUENCES. Yes, Baby Yoda stopped the fireball. But he also collapsed afterwards. Also, thank fuck Din Djarin was saved by IG-88′s bacta wash and not Force nonsense. Made more sense narratively, considering Djarin’s past and also, puts limitations on Force Healing abilities, which are sorely needed.

Hahahaha, “central processing unit” this is Peak Taika humor and I am here for it.

Jeeze, the pile of Mando armor Yikes

Okay, but I love the metaphor here with the Armorer - the fires, where one can be recast and reborn...but she also knows about the Jedi. WHO IS SHE? BO-KATAN? SABINE? SOMEONE ELSE? I have a lot of questions about the Armorer. Also, the line “enemy sorcerors” was great in relation to the Jedi but it, again, really makes me consider Mandalore’s relationship with the Jedi when Satine was in power because of her relationship with Obi-wan and just....oh gods.

FOOOOOUND FAAAAAAAMILY YOU’RE A DAD NOW

The Jet Pack! Okay, but the Armorer says that “until you know it, it will not listen to your commands.” Two things here - Mando takes to it rather quickly which means he’s probably played with this tech before. Also, anyone else remember Obi-wan taking off in a jetpack during the Lawless arc? He seemed to know that tech pretty well, despite his assertions to the contrary, you’ve been holding out on us, Kenobi.

“I don’t do the baby thing.” Gods, could I love Cara Dune even more?

The Lava River. SO MUCH going on there. Obviously Mustafar. But also it really, really felt like a river Styx reference, especially with the R2 unit with LIMBS GOOD LORD THAT WAS A DISTURBING CHARON.

LAVA RATS!!!!!!! Do they eat pizza as well? Asking as a displaced New Yorker.

“Do the Magic Hand Thing” hahahahahahahahahaha

Of course Mando is going to hang on to a TIE mid-flight, this is very On Brand.

And then, finally, THE FUCKING DARK SABER, WHAT, WHY DOES GIDEON HAVE IT WHAT HAPPENED TO BO-KATAN WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE DARK SABER WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PURGE WHY I8S DEATH WATCH TRIUMPHANT WHY IS OBI-WAN SO TIED TO MANDALORIAN HISTORY I CANNOT DEAL WITH ANY OF THIS IT IS TOO MUCH TO HANDLE

9.5/10 that was a hell of a finale

#hello there #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #legobiwan watches a tv show #the comedy was on point here #thank you taika #DAAAAARKSABER HOLY FUCKING SHIT #HOLY SHIT

31 notes · View notes

whatthefoucault · 6 years

Text

Dear the art and chitchat getting rebageled all over my tumblr dash for the past day or two:

WOULD IT KILL YOU TO MAKE SOME HAPPIER INFINITY WAR PREDICTIONS OH MY GOD

like I don’t care about spoilers but can you tag your sad? *whispers* I’ve got anxiety

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO and bc I don’t have time to draw all of them tonight, have some Soft Infinity War Predictions:

After Gamora and Nebula swiftly dispatch Purple Joss Whedon (and everybody helps I guess) everybody goes to a little taqueria where the quesadillas are OFF THE HOOK.

Hawkeye is there. He’s fine. He’s adopted a very special dog.

Loki is also fine. The Grandmaster is there. Sitting in Loki’s lap. Parker offered to get an extra chair from another table, but the Grandmaster’s face was coinciding most ardently with Loki’s face before he could finish the question. Tony’s attempting to shield his eyes, as though he’s never seen two ancient space wizards engaged in an amorous embrace before. He hasn’t. It’s the least traumatic part of his day, though.

Steve is fine. Bucky is also fine. His new arm is very comfortable, thank you for asking. They finally kissed the first moment they had just to themselves; after all, there’s nothing to spur on a long-budding love to blossom quite like the prospect of the end of the world. There’s no question that they’ll move in together. T’Challa has already enquired about whether they’ve set a wedding date. He’s a busy man, what with a country to run and all that, but it’d be nice if he can clear a day in his diary and get cake out of it.

Thor’s eye grows back? At least that’s what a ton of the promo stuff and Pop Vinyl figures are telling me.

Aunt May gets to say fuck. Also, she’s a lesbian. Also, I’m in love with Aunt May.

Nat breathes a sigh of relief as she uncoils her hair from the dye-stained towel, and she’s that familiar shade of fiery ginger again.

Peter Parker is fine. Ned is also fine. Michelle is fine. They’ve got a second movie to be being in at some point.

Sam continues to be a goddamn ray of sunshine.

Scott exists? People care about Scott? Ant Man is there and he’s Paul Rudd and if he specifically asked for a second straw in his horchata it definitely wasn’t in the hope that Sam would share it with him, because goddamn that man is a ray of sunshine

I am Groot, says Groot, which means “I’m livestreaming this on instagram and Quill thinks I’m just taking a nice photo of him, but I’ve placed a large poop emoji where his face is and I can barely contain my amusement.”

Tony and Strange are conversating in hushed tones about something. Tony’s wearing Strange’s cloak for some reason. They might be holding hands. Rhodey has surreptitiously changed all of the branding everywhere in the company to read Stank Industries.

Shuri has brazenly stolen one of M’Baku’s nopales, but he gets his own back and eats like half of her churros when she’s not looking.

Also, Deadpool is there. And Squirrel Girl. And the force-ghosts of Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi and the proper, Old Dude Anakin Skywalker. None of this remastered-in Prequel Anakin nonsense. None of that. This is a quality production.

#infinity war #there i fixed it #frostmaster #stucky #actually you know what sod it there are too many characters in this damn film to tag #and i know i've missed people #they're all fine #they're gonna be fine #there you go

84 notes · View notes

fireflyfish · 6 years

Note

G'day :-) I have been back to read 'The Queen, the Cavalier, and the Dragon' sooooo many times, and love, love, LOVE it. Is there any chance of a continuation of the story? Do Padme and Leia escape? Does ObiWan wake up in medical to find Luke and Vader bonding? I would love to know ;-) Thank you for writing this lovely au !

Hello! How are you on this lovely evening? What a bright and cheerful icon! Unless of course that’s some kind of venomous, flower from Australia that only eats glowing fish and has migrated to the Northern Hemisphere in the expensive luggage of Australian Marvel Chris. In that case, my impending doom looks super pretty and lovely!

So about The Queen, the Cavalier and the Dragon…

First of all! Thank you for your kind words! I’m so glad you enjoyed that bit of gender bending and writing challenge. I don’t usually write from that view point so I’m happy it didn’t fall on its melodramatic face! XD

This is a fic inspired, like so many of my fics are, by a what if and an image that refused to leave my head. Some things I can write out and be done with, like Ohnaka v Skywalker: Dawn of Nonsense (although I really want to do a sequel just so I can title it “Men of Nonsense” or perhaps “Nonsense League”, which would involve a our Intrepid Heroes chasing a MacGuffin Droid around the galaxy because reasons. Obi-Wan is giving me SUCH side eye right now.)

Some things take root and refuse to leave like Where Shall We Three Meet Again? and After the End of the World. They demand to be written and if I don’t acquiesce to the muse, they’ll make writing other works (Copper and Gold, To Live Among Wolves, The Eagle and the Wolf) VERY difficult. The muse is not compromising. The muse will show up when I ask but the muse will pitch a fit if the muse is forced to work on something when it has A Really Good Idea For How To Poke Obi-Wan In A New CREATIVE Way, Okay? And Also Vader While We’re At It.

Apparently my muse likes to perform Complex Angst exercises.

And then there’s the gentle giant Tano and Kenobi, a very nice polite fic that gives other fics its seat on the train and holds open elevators doors for a really long time while other fics drag their feet getting there. Tano and Kenobi sucks up almost ALL of my writing time and energy when I’m in season (which is coming January 28th!) and there are few fics that can withstand it while it’s visiting.

So while I would like to say, “Yes of COURSE I’m going to keep working on The Queen, the Cavalier and the Dragon” and while I have some ideas for what happens next, I don’t have a set schedule or time for when that will happen.

I can, however, tell you where the fic would go if I had infinite time and won the lottery.

Padme and Leia would escape and run to Chandrilla. Alderaan is a bit too far for their hyperdrive to manage and Padme doesn’t want to go there directly to throw suspicion off of Bail. Padme and Leia hook up with Mon Mothma before eventually traveling on to Alderaan where they decide that Padme needs to vanish. She joins up with the Rebellion, with her work focusing on recruitment and operations (i.e. making sure the Rebellion has enough to eat, enough ammunition, supplies, etc). As the former leader of Naboo, she is a great hidden weapon and very skilled at running an organization. She’s also great at writing speeches and propaganda.

Padme never gives up hope of reuniting with Obi-Wan and Luke but she’s under no illusion that the Rebellion will expend any kind of energy or troops to recover her lost wife and son.

That is until Padme is finally introduced to an operative known only as Fulcrum and who wants to introduce her to a unit named “The Three Kings”.

Meanwhile back in the Empire…

Vaderkin takes Obi-Wan and Luke to his flagship where his personal medical staff see to her treatment. Obi-Wan spends a long time in bacta, because lightsaber wounds are a nightmare to treat and plus it gives Vaderkin time to bond with Luke.

Luke is not at all sure how he feels about Vaderkin, but he can’t be all that bad because he’s made sure that Obi-Mum sees a doctor and he feels like Leia. Luke, being Anakin’s child, is very precocious about escaping from whatever Imperial officer has been assigned to babysit him and usually finds his way back to the med bay where Obi-Wan is slowly recovering.

That is, when he isn’t touring the ship with Vaderkin, marveling over all of the brand new and SHINY ships. And oh boy does Luke love TIE fighters! He really, really, reeeeeally wants one so he can fly it just like Father and Obi-Mum in the Clone Wars.

Vaderkin isn’t quite sure what to do, having not expected to find Obi-Wan or Luke. He’s forbidden his staff from relaying the information about the capture of Obi-Wan Kenobi back to Central Command but he can’t keep wandering the Mid Rim forever. (And he probably can’t trust them to keep the secret forever.) He’ll have to report back to Palpatine eventually and he knows what that will mean.

Obi-Wan’s death and handing Luke over to be “trained” in the Sith Ways until he’s old enough to challenge Vaderkin for the position of Palpatine’s apprentice.

Vader just found his family again and he doesn’t want to lose them.

And Palpatine has been terribly demanding lately and Vaderkin doesn’t think very highly of the new Inquisitors he keeps sending after to Vaderkin to murder assist him in his quest to murder every last Jedi even the harmless ones to bring peace to the galaxy.

But I will leave you with this, my friends. This is the very first thing Vaderkin will ask Obi-Wan when she wakes up from the bacta.

“Where is Padme and who the hell is Leia?”

#The Queen the Cavalier and the Dragon #Darth Vader #Obi wan kenobi #Padme Amidala #Luke Skywalker #Princess Leia #You burn in your own flame #Someone you don't want to mess with #Married to an Icarus #Like my father before me #anvil527up #Lovely people saying lovely things about my silly writing #*air kisses*#Thank you!

27 notes · View notes

smokeybrandreviews · 4 years

Text

No One Ever Really Dies

With the bombing of Rise in the rear view, Disney has embarked on a redemption tour of sorts, trying to win back fans of their mishandled investment. The sting of Episode IX runs deep, like salt in the wounds VIII left behind, but John Favreau’s The Mandalorian has gone a long way to salve some of that pain. His take on the intergalactic underground has been praised by both critics and fans alike; Something i don’t find too hard to believe. This is the man that helmed the first Iron Man and we see where the f*ck THAT went! With season two already filming, we are guaranteed something special toward the end of the year. It seems Iger has finally realized his folly and opted to course correct by keeping in the same vein with a few rumored and not so rumored projects in the works.

Kenobi - All but confirmed by Obi Wan, himself, Ewan McGregor, this feels like a no-brainer on Disney’s part. They HAVE to fix the damage their version of the Star War has done and a great way to do that is by resurrecting the corpse of one of the most popular Jedi in the canon. There’s no way you’re bringing back Hamil for a Luke mini so the next best thing is good ol’ Ben.

Maul - There were seeds planted for a little bit of this in that just awful Solo flick when people thought it was going to be a trilogy even though there was no audience for it. That little stinger at the end and the sudden interest in the criminal underworld of a galaxy far, far, away fostered by Mando’s popularity makes this thing a proper guaranteed success. Also, the character itself is stupid popular even though it took decades for him to be actually worth.

Vader - If you’re Disney, you leverage the f*ck out of the most iconic, most popular, character in the franchise you paid billions for. They derailed an entire film shoot to force just a glimpse of Vader into Rouge One and, my goodness, what a glimpse it was! Vader was the best thing about that entire movie and, if the writing is anywhere near as great as his current comic outing, this series could single-handily right the Disney Star Wars ship. You HAVE to do this. It just make sense but Lucasfilm under Disney, or rather, under Kennedy, have consistently proven they don’t have any sense...

Aphra - Speaking of the Darth Vader comic, it introduced one of the most compelling characters in the new canon; Dr. Aphra. Ma was under the employ of Vader for a spell and connived he way out of it just to become a fugitive from the empire. She’s smart, capable, ingenuitive, and is one of the only few to stand toe-to-toe with Vader and live. Throw her into an Indiana Jones-esquue, Cannonball Run type of adventure, an i would definitely pay to see that! A Dr. Aphra serial has the potential to be everything Disney wanted Solo to be and more.

Tico - No one wants a Rose Tico anything, ever, and Disney would be retarded to push this nonsense any further than their sh*tty sequels. Seriously, Rose’s sister is a better character and has a better story to tell. Hell, Aphra is drawn with Asian features so you can feature her in a series, and anything Rose becomes a redundant waste of money!

If these rumors are true, and Disney allows their creatives to execute, they might actually repair the damage this mediocre sequel trilogy has done to the brand. That, and the removal of Kathleen Kennedy in favor of someone like Kevin Feige who understands how to manage the massive intricacies necessary to execute something as grandiose as a proper cinematic universe. I mean, seriously, all they have to do is give me that Aphra series or hint at an Ahsoka outing and I’m right back, man. I think we all are. As long as they’re good. As long as they stay true to the Force.

#Star Wars

0 notes

smokeybrand · 4 years

Text

No One Ever Really Dies

0 notes

masterofcraft-blog1 · 7 years

Note

♥ ♥ ♥ for rex and/or cody and/or fives bc fives wants attention too.

Send in ♥ to give my muse a smooch!

Rex

He really is awful. Ever since the time Obi-Wan managed to burn the bottoms of both his feet as well as his abdomen, which made both limping on another’s arm as well as being carried fireman style extremely painful, thus requiring Rex to carry the general BRIDAL style, he has been unable to leave it alone. In fact, it appears that he has given up other forms of assistance altogether ( when a situation allows, of course ). The second Obi-Wan needs help moving, Rex is at his side, blasters stowed, with what Obi-Wan is sure is a smile beneath his bucket, ready to pick him up. He’s a kind Jedi. He has permitted it without too much of a fuss. It IS helping, after all.

But this is just outrageous. Not to mention undignified, but perhaps Rex considers the fact that they’re technically in classified quarters with only Anakin, Ahsoka, and Cody about, he can fall a bit from professionalism. ( Obi-Wan can practically feel Cody going rigid at the breach. ) He lets out a YELP as Rex lifts him from where he appeared to be drifting even as he stared at battle plans. Anakin seems to be entirely no help by the sound of their exchange; ‘All right, general?’ ‘Fine work, captain.’ And damn their padawan, he can hear her giggling as Rex carries him out.

“ This is unnecessary. ”

Nothing.

“ This is unprofessional. ”

Nothing.

“ This is rude. ”

His protests take a back seat once they arrive at General Kenobi’s quarters and Rex can lift his torso up further in his arms to press a kiss to the exhausted Jedi’s head, gently easing him back onto his bed. “ This is… nice. ” His hand closes around a fistful of Rex’s uniform blacks, inviting him down with him.

Cody

Commander Cody is different behind closed doors, in ways one might not expect. The man is a strong leader with very little tolerance for nonsense. He is smart, efficient, confident, and direct. He will do what needs to be done, within reason. But when the job is finished and nothing requires their immediate attention ( and his general manages to draw him away from the temptation of working overtime ), the walls fall down. Obi-Wan’s door slides shut behind them and he opens his arms, a knowing look in his eyes – and Cody needs little more encouragement. The man is tired. He’s tired, a little cold, and he’s in need. Strong arms tighten around his Jedi, the man who holds the center of the clone’s world.

“ You were very patient, ” Obi-Wan whispers as his arms close around his commander, a hand cradling the back of his head. Out of sight, the two scarcely keep their hands from each other. Touching, playing, loving, kissing. As wonderful as the sensation is, it has spoiled them. It has made working side-by-side in a room with others a certain brand of unbearable. They can handle it. They are PROFESSIONALS, but…

Cody can’t pretend his thoughts aren’t on Obi-Wan. He can’t pretend that his protection’s charge is not his everything. He sighs into the embrace, slumping down into the soft material of the Jedi robes. Hardly protective, compared to the hard shell of his armor. Bare, gentle fingers trail through his short, dark hair, sending a trickle of calm through his spine. Lips press a kiss to his temple, and the master can feel the stronger body melt, about ready to collapse into him.

“ It’s all right, ” He whispers again as Cody’s hands close around him in a sensation of clinging. A thank you comes in the form of a kiss returned against Obi-Wan’s neck, the heavy body in his arms steering him toward the nearby bed. Cody needs not speak. Obi-Wan understands.

#kaminosfinest #* ｡✧ ━ ⦅ in character. ⦆#* ｡✧ ━ ⦅ verse iii. general. ⦆#* ｡✧ ━ an angel on my shoulder ⦅ cody. ⦆#* ｡✧ ━ hold my head inside your hands ⦅ rex. ⦆#OK I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING FOR FIVES we need to work on them more

5 notes · View notes

miss-agent-e-15-jedi · 7 years

Text

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (as told by Luke Skywalker)

Retold by @MissAgent E.

Introduction

Greetings exalted ones! Allow me to introduce myself. I’m MissAgent E, fan of Luke Skywalker and Original Star Wars Trilogy enthusiast. I enjoy wearing my hair in iconic Star Wars styles, my favorites being Princess Leia’s Bespin braid loops and Yavin IV celebration style. You can find me on Twitter, Pinterest, and Tumblr with the username @MissAgent E, along with my boards, blogs, and tweets about Luke Skywalker and his portrayer, Mark Hamill, whom I hope to meet in person one day (note: You can find Mr. Hamill on Twitter and Instagram by the username @HamillHimself).

Being my all-time favorite in the trilogy (and definitely the top fan favorite of all the Star Wars films), I have chosen to direct my creative writing toward retelling The Empire Strikes Back from a certain point of view: through the eyes of the hero, Luke Skywalker. In this first-person narrative, you’ll see the epic story through his eyes and experience his thoughts and feelings. In addition, you’ll also come across a few scenes that were cut from the original film, including an extended scene with Leia in the medical bay on Hoth and Dagobah training sessions. Lastly, I own absolutely nothing; this is only for fun. All credit goes to George Lucas and his creative team for making possible this movie. I hope you enjoy this, and may the Force be with you!

Chapter One

The infinite blanket of immaculately white snow gleaming in the sun before me was really all there was to see, minus occasional rocks, distant mountains, and scattered snow banks. Even in the light of day, the sun made virtually no difference to the icy cold temperature. In fact, all it really seemed to do was blind me from time to time by reflecting brightly off of the snow. I shut my eyes tightly against another glare, once more shivering from the chill of the environment; every soft, tiny fiber of my rebel-issued, insulated patrol suit seemed to be gradually freezing onto my body one layer at a time. I could still move my arms and legs freely in the suit, but the cold made them nearly as stiff as brand-new copper wires. There were a few times where I thought I heard a cracking sound from my joints whenever I opened or closed my fingers or curled my toes inside my boots in an effort to keep my blood circulating.

My scarf, hood and goggles were of little help against the elements. Really, I thought, their only real purpose was to keep my eyes, nose, and ears from succumbing to frostbite; not necessarily for generating heat. If only my goggles had windshield wipers, because along with the flakes of snow and thin bits of moisture in the air, each time I exhaled—and it didn’t matter if it was through my nose or my mouth—they would fog up numerous times; several times I had to take them off for a moment to clear them and, for a brief moment, get a high definition view of my surroundings with my naked eyes. Then, after seeing my breath appear as a smoky white cloud of vapor in front of my face and then vanish, the goggles would go back on, and I’d have to continue my mission.

I’d been out on patrol for a few hours now, and the afternoon sun was just beginning to wane. This meant my assignment was nearly finished. I was soon on top of a nearby snow bank, and it was there that I brought my tauntaun—a snow-lizard kind of beast with grayish-blue fur that served as my mode of transportation—to an abrupt stop. Riding this fussy but tame beast would never be as spectacular as being in a T-47 airspeeder (or a snowspeeder, as the rebels and I called it down here on this frozen planet), but for this mission, she was effective enough. Her nearly two-meter height gave me a pretty descent view of the world around me, but the obscuration of the two, large, coiled horns on the top of her head and my shorter stature than hers forced me to peek from either side of her massive neck whenever I needed to look ahead.

The rebel alliance had domesticated several of these animals after the establishment of our new secret base on Hoth, the snowy wasteland of a planet that I’d been scouring. We’d had to relocate our headquarters--now formally called Echo Base--to a different planet after our huge triumph at the battle of Yavin, in which I had accomplished what many would consider one of the most impossible tasks in the universe. With the help of my mentor Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi, and his teaching me in the ways of the Force, I’d managed to destroy the Death Star, the ultimate weapon of the evil galactic empire.

My heart ached for Old Ben; I wished he was still here so that I could continue to learn about the Force and become a Jedi like my father. Ben had been killed by the evil lord Darth Vader on the Death Star, bravely sacrificing his life so that my friends and I could escape. I closed my eyes and could still hear the last words he’d ever said to me:

Luke, the Force will be with you. Always.

Three years had passed since the destruction of the Death Star, and I hadn’t heard his voice ever since.

Despite the high price of our victory—not just losing Old Ben, but my Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, the people who’d raised me on the desert planet Tatooine, to the empire as well—I still hoped to one day master the Force and become a fully-fledged Jedi Knight.

My train of thought was interrupted by a loud explosion in the distance. I glanced in the direction of the sound just in time to see a meteorite shoot out of the sky and contact the snowy surface with an echoing bang. I was immediately intrigued and yanked my electrobinoculars off my utility belt to get a closer look. With wide eyes behind the zoomed-in lenses, I observed a lot of gray smoke rising into the air behind a snow drift about two kilometers from where I was. I considered the possibility that meteorite strikes like the one I had just seen were a constant occurrence due to Hoth’s close proximity to a massive asteroid field in outer space. I was still curious nonetheless, and my patrol mission was complete, so I figured there would be no harm in checking out the meteorite.

I put my binoculars back on my belt and, after scraping snow off my wrist, turned on the comm-link to contact my friend Han Solo.

I’d met Han back on Tatooine at Mos Eisley Spaceport when he and his Wookie companion, Chewie, had been hired by Ben to take us, along with two faithful droids—Artoo-Deetoo and his humanoid protocol counterpart See-Threepio—to Alderaan. Unfortunately, by the time we’d escaped Tatooine and come out of hyperspace, the Alderaan system had been reduced to space rubble, destroyed by the Death Star. The empire had locked Han’s piece of junk for a ship, the Millennium Falcon, in their tractor beam and captured us, which resulted in the three of us—me, Han, and Chewie—rescuing Leia, the Princess and Senator from Alderaan.

Leia was the strongest and most beautiful woman I had ever met; even after losing her home planet she continued to aid the rebels with her outstanding leadership and responsibility. Unfortunately, Han had been drawn to her stern and marvelous beauty, and it made me feel a little jealous inside. After all, it had been my idea to go and rescue the princess; Han hadn’t wanted anything to do with it; all he’d been interested in was money. Even though he’d had a change of heart and saved me from getting shot down while in the Death Star’s trench, his cocky, mercenary self still stood out like a spatter of black ink on a white garment every so often. I still liked him and cared about him nonetheless, and the fact that he’d stuck around with me and the alliance all these years after the Yavin battle was enough to make my relationship with him as a friend one of my most valuable treasures.

After a couple beeps, I loudly spoke into the comm-link.

“Echo Three to Echo Seven. Han, old buddy, do you read me?”

There was less than a second of static, and then a familiar voice replied, “Loud and clear, Kid. What’s up?”

Being called ‘Kid’ by Han had annoyed me a lot when I’d first known him; as if I were completely inferior to him because of my aspiration to become a Jedi. Han didn’t believe in the Force; he’d said it was all a bunch of simple tricks and nonsense; I could still hear him laughing at me on the Falcon when I’d started my training with Ben. After knowing Han for a few years now, I didn’t make a big deal about that nickname anymore; if Han’s going to call me ‘Kid’ all my life, then whatever.

“Well, I finished my circle,” I continued. “I don’t pick up any life readings.”

Han sounded unimpressed when he responded. “There isn’t enough life on this ice cube to fill a space cruiser. The sensors are placed. I’m going back.”

Remembering why I’d contacted him in the first place, I told him, “Right, I’ll see you shortly. There’s a meteorite that hit the ground near here. I want to check it out. It won’t take long.”

I’d barely clicked the comm-link off when my tauntaun suddenly began to moan alarmingly, rearing upward and nearly sending me falling off her back. I pulled on her reins, shouting “Steady!”

She stopped writhing and moaning for a second, but she still seemed apprehensive.

“Steady, girl,” I said, patting her neck to calm her down. “Hey, what’s the matter? You smell something?”

These snow-lizards seemed to have pretty keen senses of smell, but I knew I certainly didn’t smell anything; nothing but the odor of her thick, ungroomed fur. These animals were nice in principle, but they didn’t smell very good. Because of that I’d resorted to breathing through my mouth as much as I could the entire time I was on patrol, with clear goggles being my opportunity cost.

By the time I realized what had gotten her all wound up, it was too late. Out of nowhere, there came two large, black, ferocious eyes, and the white, furry head that they inhabited rose about four meters above me. The huge head housed a wide-open mouth from which several razor-sharp teeth were visible. The last feature that I was able to take in was a couple horns residing on either side of the head. They were much smaller than the horns on my tauntaun, but that didn’t undermine the monstrosity of the carnivore towering over me.

A sharp, stabbing pain suddenly streaked across my face, and as something unheard escaped my larynx, I became lighter than air, fading into nothingness and losing all awareness of my body, my entire existence.

Stay tuned for Chapter Two!

#star wars #episodev #The Empire Strikes Back #Luke Skywalker #may the force be with you #hoth #wampa #tauntaun #chapter 1 #first person narrative

2 notes · View notes

throwingideasatthewall · 3 years

Text

Clone wars Eminence

Okay. .

Hey emotion ?

? ? Vsla

(What is a Vizsla?)

Enabler Vs Aggressive Non- Compliant Un-accou n-t able- - Enabler-

Souls

[Ok I’m trying to keep track here;

(Because I do try to follow the stories in case they become some thing even when they are in the -0 cate -gory-

- Yoda’s generation

-Qui- Gon’s generation Dooku’s

-Obi-wan

-Anakin’s generation

- Ahsoka

[I am not counting the feckin young-lings”]

Okay dude seems around Obi-Wan but below Both him and Saltine

- Higher than Anakin though So,

-Yoda’s generation

-Qui- Gon’s generation Dooku’s

-Obi-wan

- This dude (Pre Visla)

-Anakin’s generation

- Ahsoka

Now Maul;

He seemed younger than Obi-Wan but older than Anakin

So;

-Yoda’s generation

-Qui- Gon’s generation Dooku’s

-Obi-wan

- This dude (Pre Visla)

-Maul

-Anakin’s generation

- Ahsoka

So just for the record, Ahsoka’s generation which is now an adult over 22, Is dealing with Anakin‘s generation ....

[Ok going to guesstimate regarding behavior,]

Is directly Obi-Wan‘s

[But they were two generations under Obi-Wan

Pre-Visla; acting as some kind a Brother generation

- Maul; Youngest Brother

-Savage; ?

So, [ -Yoda’s generation ] [ -Qui- Gon’s generation Dooku’s ]

[ - Obi-wan - This dude } (Enablers) (Pre Visla) -Maul

-Anakin’s generation ] - Ahsoka (Present)

(Ok you know what I’m breaking out the colored markers for this shit)

-Yoda’s generation [Enabler] (Progenitor to Qui-Gon’s / Dooku)

| -Qui- Gon’s generation Dooku’s (Progenitor To Obi-wan) |

| -Maul | (You | nger | Gen)

| [As in born before not that they are the same species | though if | someone fecks up the galaxy- everyone has to deal with it]

| - Savage | [You | nger | Gen]

-Anakin’s generation

Ahsoka (How)

note I am ignoring that bit about Plagueis Because no

And going on the direct apprentice line-

[which note I am aware may ignore several possi- bilities-

Including Qui-gon and Obi-wan’s Gen poss -ib ly, are bro. Because of convenience,

[Which is why I am ignoring the Plaguies thing-

Because if serious is that old it’s really implying that someone that is old enough to be Anakin’s Great great grandfather, did that, The nonsense applied in the whole midclorians to create life thing (Consent??) And my general disregard for anything that illuminates the opportunity of choice or feckin’ realism;

Now if you’ll look at the chart;

[I NOW UNDERSTAND WHY THEY HAVE A NO CHILDREN POLICY- no attach-ments-]

Note that means there have been (at least) four [distinct] generations in play

*are

[ ANd NONE of these fuckers die of natural causes [Aka old age]

Unless you count getting run through by a light sword!

[HoW]

[”oh yeah the galaxy’s un-balanced,”

Cause you have so many fecking kids-]

Apologies just had to get that out of my system [After making the damn chart]

We struggle at three,

Like if I have to bring out the colored markers I think that’s too many

I mean you can try but it’s going to be a hell of a time [For the writers] justifying how the core-

Point being it’s a mess-

[ And I’m doing this just to figure out a conversation -The generational beef - The morality - because yeah while they’re both enablers, The tox instigator, clearly has lower ground to their victim,

Who was tox first,

Who has the advantage

[One of the things that make a Narc conflicts, a bit of risk, The only thing I can with our Narcs so poorly established, Including their excessives And weak nesses]

And whether I should boo or cheer,

Or some thing as a good line or. poor

[because I honestly think the line they’re doing here can work and maybe I didn’t need the chart but it makes it a bit easier and gives an understanding of how I’m comparing,

Because. .]

“ if they are weak why do you wait,”

Because from a victim or younger generation that’s a pretty potent/poignant line

From an abuser its tone deaf and needs more malician - Personally I think they did a good job with Pre-viz -here

He’s the right kind of tone of someone stuck in their glory days trying to get the younger generation to enable him a bit more regardless of the cost,]

[Power-ful allies

Haha,

What allies [That didn’t- Betray Her,]

[Kenobi]

[HaHa]

[i’m sorry but regardless when the writers, pull it out of the randomness hat, he’s a punk ass bitch

[Excuse me for overuse of that term I strictly mean it in the derogatory non- identification Way Meaning, Un accountable in terms of fighting and self-defense of his pro -fessed expertise]

[and occasionally in self-determination against peer pressure and threats far above or below his skill level]

Specifically, the Jedi Council

[continu ing on,” ]

[Ventress]

Exile

[you’ve been allegedly exiled so many times it’s a bingo card, ]

(Also instead of locking them up]

(Like I might’ve missed a few points due to tox But, She didn’t just send them back to exhile where they started fecking with the shit

Did she?

I got as far as the juice thing then

Fast-pasted through the Academy

(No skim)

So sorry if anything was missed

(But tox)

[that was a suddenly softer tone,]

But fair,

A-ll

Count Dooku-

Dude, he just didn’t [rabidly] support your small little fan club that couldn’t do much

And [last I checked], Just told you not to do a thing,

Like yeah might’ve been relatively poor advice but what were you expecting-

[Tone’s a bit weird]

But she has a point,

Despite the uneven- ?

[that’s a strangely powerful way to keep him intact]

Though not- -

To vote,

Also,

Who,

Why?

? [In all truth, while the expressions were a bit off, (I assume benefit of the doubt - illustrators version-). That that could’ve been a relatively poignant scene, a (we totally got him To Enable Our War- between Two Enablers.]

How is Savage taking less time than Maul?

[is it cause made out of metal?

Is it because Savage is bigger?]

[Also you know what would’ve been interesting?]

[Note, interesting not better; it’s perfectly serviceable as is;

[Completely aesthetic]

If Maul had been “threatened” into the death watch,

With Savage as the chip,

And feigned

[Possibly having to be t-alked back into it - cause I mean he died]

Just interesting,

Oh yeah that has been pretty fucked up for him considering the last time he was on anything resembling an operating table,

[also I kind of like the idea of Maul as (for now) a nicer Sith Lord than his master, )

? ? [Despisi ng the enabler, But other than my assum. What is actually their in- tention?

Because they don’t seem to really have a plan other than destroy things,

And even that is inconsistent

Too late. .

(I understand murder. .

But that wasn’t really set up)

)

Oh yeah approaching the clearly ag-gressive per- sion - With an entourage - In the hospital - With his injured brother/ mor-alty pet)

Good job smart guy this would in no way put him on edge,

E-r [Not sure about that, ] ? - [that was kind of funny] ,

“Name -s,”

[They going to make something up ?]

“Brothers” - that was a very specific word choice,

Duc-hess

(Oh -yeah he brought that up in the conversation-

“Army,”

[Please no more pirates,]

(Also yeah trying to force peoples opinions to change (for (Corr that always works out upt) well,)

(Are we going to get dr -oids)

“Black sun,”

Aight- Gang,

“But there a crime syndicate,” Whin- ed the guy, Leading a (death) cult,

(Like I’m pretty sure they have done worse in this originated as some kind of crime syndicate/ Espionage within the government- -] ?

Dude they’re cannon get it together, - Oh so just black dealing]

- ?

[Is prisoner ]

? Attack,

- Or Assemble/ En-tourage - ? - - -? [Ok so just a show of strength,] - ? - “ what a stupid crime syndicate,’ . Like; “I want to talk to your boss about possibly becoming business partner(s) lucrative opportunity for both of us, doing business but sketchy,”

[Willing to participate in your black market op]

“ he’s gonna kill you,”

? ??

[Like you do realize that’s like going to a - bank, [for a loan] and the door guy Threate-ning you with death - Like how do you stay in business?

[Like, don’t care much for either practice,

Just don’t see why they don’t go to the non-threateny guy over there-

[Like I’m sorry but that was just a laughable way of establishing t hrea -t - Bad-assery - And I think [it got let off- way too light- -” - ? - Okay - seriously- [’ The One- species evil,’ is really starting to grind my gears One whole generation of a species decided to go into purely only crime syndicate,

Al-one-

: The background

Kind -a Hot- - Now - - - This is some nice sc ene r y- - I like the Gold-

- The the outfits-

What? - [

] [Note; I can understand not wanting to fall into the tropes of your Genre, But it has to make sense-

[How does this-]

[excuse me while I go into depth on this]

This guy works, crime syndicate

AKa organized illegal dealings,

Behind the government(s) back-

There are multiple ways you can do this (clothing wise) 1. Bure-aucrat;

Aka the dude’s in the Italian suits,

Which not only denotes they are dealings of off brand goods (Typically not in the country of origin]

[Place]

But also as their role; As a bureau cratic brush over-

Typical- ly Find - ing this guy cover-ing up,

2. Ragg -ed

Dude in brown over -coat Torn- - His whole thing is looking like an unimpressive citizen allowing him to move with ease-

With the disadvantage of being underestimated-

Possibly works- -cargo- - (That’s also just basic civilian that is generally associated with extremely chaotic and unpredictable allowing you to go more ways story wise)

Point being, some function,

Mean,

This dude is gold and gaudy and speaks more of a barbarian then a black- dealer

Crime Syn- dicate,

[and it’s not even gold as in the “I’m better than all you smugglers/crime lords come at me bro!”

It simply does not have the slickness for that,

No the scheme,

[and fine if you want to do alien fashion you do alien fashion but you how to establish that, (And it’s still really comes back to that pre-established logic ,). Excluding the horn which I’m assuming is part of his head,

Again this is speaking more War lord than crime lord, He really DOES give off that Aura,” - [Ok yeah this is really the most out of tune scene, Giving me a headache from just the plain inconsistency,” - ? - Yeah...

no idea what just happened ... Pre Viz-la; Was staring, Then Savage was laughing,

Just feckin holding the guy-

And now there was someone on the floor. . . [??] - - Whelp, guess the other g-uards just stood around and did nothing- - “Black sun,” - Despite there being no black in your outfits and

we haven’t even seen an in- signia,

And I’m starting to think n-e-ither in their operation

Seeing as they’ re, guardy obvious,

[ pretty damn blatant, Too

Aigh h-t- - [Again that’s behavior more befitting of a [War ] lord, - ? - Oh, yeah

that bodyguard was just straight up chilling

No ser- ious. -ly;

Like, I know my boss has ordered me to dispose of you, I’m real sorry about that, I can take you outside if you want Don’t be- Oh. hey, hold. up-

Well, shit

[Frank is having a shit day, ]

(That is. A. [Wait murder’s illegal!, Exp ression,

[What the hec -k,

. . .

Well, Shit,

No hesitation

(Bob is having a shit ,day

[He’s a greeter, ] . - ?

Really, because we only saw four guys that you killed and that greeting party,

(That’s still guerilla warfare at best;)

[like seriously unless the Mandalorian(s) only have like five guards you’re still going to be over-powered- - - <

Saltine

..weak

So much so that we haven’t even really seen the army- Just some guys carrying cargo

And cargo crat e(s? )

F-o

Y-eah, One Vis -i on- - C-l

[H-e’s righ t - dude has no actual commitment to killing Sal- tine,

This is just some game, he’s playing, While Maul actually seems interested in kicking his abusers , - Dep-th - I mean - do either of you?

[like up to this point I thought this was some Gen beef, But dude Talks to Pre- Visla- Like- - In that line, Like he’s same Gen,

Which doe sn’t match the tone they’ve been projecting up to this point,

Of Pre-Vizla, robbed of something,

“Cri-minals,”

Seriously when did these guys have any qualms about mingling with other petty demeanors?

For that matter

and I don’t usu -ally sin compet ency-

But this was right after the episode where Darth Maul got his ass kicked,

And continues the major theme of inconsistency,

There is no scale of escalation- (Which is fine if you want to do non-sequential if you want to do un-attached short stories,)

[Though you should probably have some reference in order to keep the emotional tone con- sist- -ent-

And approp -riate,)

There’s no scale of power,

As in I have no idea who can beat who,

(Not in, ‘they’re equally matched so it’s up to fate,” tension,

No, It’s the writers haven’t established anything

And whoever wins just wins because author favoritism,

Seriously

The only two consistent things;

Obi-Wan constantly gets his ass kicked, Unless the writers play favorites

And author’s hand is almost always very clearly shown,

Which you don’t want me to see; As the audience;

Note; I’m not saying there can’t be luck; Or that something existential can’t unbalance The circumstance,

Say one dude is trained in anti-gravity situations, One is not, And the gravity is flipped off, Having them flop around is a decent enough representation, Setting it up beforehand is even better,

But that’s not what’s done here;

(Not only is there no explanation to the sudden rise in competency,

But there’s no set up)

And there are several scenes where it again relies on the concept of (over) negative assumption, Believing the tropes will carry it, Enough to sustain

[Particularly with the Maul scenes. .]

Where it’s like they’re saying “And...

And what?

You didn’t establish anything,

There’s nothing there for you to fall back on

And, your menacing moment falls flat

[When no you have to actually set that up,]

You didn’t earn that scene otherwise,

[Empty tropes make for e-mpty s-tories- ]

Why..?

[also didn’t he just tell you to fuck off with your plan.. ?

Well...

The characters are no longer drywall the set up and the consistency on the other hand...

[still damn shaky,]

Plot wise,

0 notes