#old discord message i think about way too often

[yarboyandy]

Garak kicked out of cardassia for voting against gay marriage before getting his gay sex tape leaked

#star trek #elim garak #thats all i got sorry #old discord message i think about way too often

[fleet-of-fiction]

My Truth

Allow me to introduce myself. Hi...

My name is Lucie. You might remember me from my old blog, lightmylove-gvf. It started out as a really fun, wholesome space. Full of love and laughter. I shared pictures and gif sets and works of fiction. Made so many wonderful connections with many different people. It really was a wonderful place to be. Until it wasn't. And although I've tried my best to step away from certain controversies, it seems that people still have an issue with me and still have my name in their mouth. So I'd like to take this opportunity to set the record straight. Maybe move past some untruths and you can all make informed decisions on whether you'd like to continue following me here on my current blog. Which is also a place of peace and love, I might add. And always has been.

Anyway, read on if you'd like. And if not, that's ok too.

I think it's fair to say that I've always been one of the more "controversial" writers around here. I have never shied away from difficult storytelling, and I never will. But what started out as a completely separate issue quickly snowballed into what could only be described as a personal vendetta.

I'm happy to discuss anything within my writing that might be of issue to a reader. A particular blog took offence to a scene I had written in a chapter of my fic, Backstage. I happened to disagree with this blog, and I tried my best to let them know whilst I understood their stance I did not agree with their point of view. I took this opinion to a discord server I was part of along with several other blogs here to see if they could shed more light on the issue.

The scene in question involved a fictionalised version of Josh and the reader in bed. They had gone to bed together with the full narrative of the reader known. How she was in love with him and wanted nothing more than to make love with him. They had been growing close. And Josh began to touch reader as they slept side by side. We get an insight into the readers thoughts during this moment, and they are very much with consent and enjoying the experience. It's meant to be a nod to what is to come. That their bodies are in tune with each other, even if their words are yet to speak of it. I think a lot of experiences in life play out like that. Where we don't always know what to say, but find ourselves in situations where our bodies can do the talking. Anyway, I digress...

There was a lot of opinions flying around in the server. Some were in favour of my opinion, others opposed it and were in favour of the anon who had sent me alot of hateful messages regarding their view that this scene was nothing more than sexual harassment. I explained in the server that I myself had been the victim of sexual assault/harassment. That I knew what it felt like to get into bed with someone I thought that I could trust only to have them break that trust in the most heinous way. I tried to explain that I didn't think this particular scene was that.

One sentence that I said was screenshotted and shared around with absolutely zero context to it and nothing of the rest of the conversation added to the screenshot. Just one sentence that I'd said which pertained to saying that I agreed that people should be able to get in bed with others and have full rights to their own bodies. I was AGREEING with that. It's there in black and white. But the narrative was skewed by people who didn't want to understand me. I tried to explain about how my personal experiences often lied within power imbalances when it came to things like S/H. But in the end, they gave me no chance to explain myself properly. They didn't want to. They'd seen and heard enough and made up their mind.

But it didn't stop there. People who I thought were my friends blocked me. Told me I was disgusting. Told me I was playing the victim. Because I didn't issue a grovelling apology. But how could I? I wasn't sorry. I hadn't done anything wrong. I'd poured my heart out to them about my trauma and abuse and how in my own experience I didn't view it as the same as what I'd written. I'd put trigger warnings. I'd made sure people had the right to information before proceeding!

I had blogs who had never interacted with me block me. Call me disgusting. Tell me fuck myself. I had anons telling me to kill myself. Anons telling me that I was a rapist and...for some reason...a peadophile sympathiser? I didn't deserve that. Nobody deserves that. I literally wrote two consenting adults touching each other in a bed they'd both gotten into...consentingly.... with very obvious (although unspoken at that point) feelings for each other. But now, that wasn't the issue. The issue was my own personal feelings on sexual harassment.

I'm the first to admit that I am perhaps not an easily digestable person to some. But I know that I am kind. I know that I have spent hours proof reading and editing fics for other writers on here because they asked for my help. I've supported people though personal issues, and I've championed the work of other writers because I truly believed that this space was a wonderful space for creativity. I still do, to some degree. I am not perfect, and I know that sometimes I can be a little head strong when it comes to protecting people's rights to free speech. I understand that I'm not palatable as a person to people who don't agree that the freedom to write should come with the freedom to write anything.

To those of you who never ever spoke to me and are still sharing things about me with the hash tag #fuck you lucie.... to you I say why have you jumped on that bandwagon? You do not know me. You know only what you've heard from people who were intent on pushing a narrative that was their own. Not mine. You don't know that these people were once my friends. And they shared my work and enjoyed it as I enjoyed theirs. They told me things about themselves and I was happy to know them. These people who then decided I was a terrible human being. Based on one thing I said that was taken completely out of context. It's almost as if they have shared it so many times now with their own backstory that it's a canon truth. I'm the worst human to ever walk the earth. Forget about all the good things I did for you. I'm scum.

If you're still reading this, you're probably thinking boo hoo what a victim complex. Maybe you're right. Maybe I do have a victim complex. Like everyone else here I have mental health problems and I'm on the spectrum. I have trauma. As part of my adhd I have rejection sensitivity which means when I'm cornered I tend to fight back with justifications as to why I behaved the way I did. I guess that's what I'm doing now. Trying to explain myself. Again. Although what good it'll do, I dont know. And I think right now, it no longer matters.

And yet I still see that I'm being talked about. I'm still getting accused of sending anons to other blogs when I was literally just existing here in my peaceful little corner, everyone who had ever taken issue with me blocked or unfollowed. I didn't know what was going on over there, I was trying to just enjoy reading and writing. My anxiety could never cope with sending a hateful anon, I know there's ways of finding out where they come from and revealing the blogs who send them and it's like that story we're all told about peeing in the pool and turning the water a different colour. I don't fuck with that shit.

If, for any particular reason, I've ever hurt anyone here to them I do issue a heartfelt apology because it has never been and never will be my intention. I said some awful things in the heat of the moment when I was receiving alot of hate and death threats regarding the AI edit a friend of mine made with audio from one of my fics. I was under so much pressure. I wanted it all to just stop. I just wanted everyone to be able to enjoy whatever made them happy. I am sorry for the things I said during that time. Im a human being. I am flawed. However..

I do not believe that people lose their rights to their body the minute they climb into bed with someone. And that's precisely what I say in the infamous screenshot. I just hope for anyone who has seen it that they now understand that it was said with love and understanding and support. I would never disregard anyones trauma or triggers. Never. And that is why I believe in giving people all the information they require before consuming media and art.

With all this said, I sincerely hope that it's clear that all I want to do is write. It's all ive ever done and all I will ever really be any good at doing. I'm proud of the fics I've put out here on my old blog and this one too. I don't care about how many notes they get, just that one or two people read it and enjoy it. And I hope you all know that I'm a nice person, too. So are a lot of blogs who have been villainised recently. This witch hunt has got to stop. We have got to start listening to each other with peace and understanding and not jump to conclusions. Not make people out to be something they simply aren't.

I want to curate a loving space here. A safe and nurturing space for anyone to feel free within. I want people to know they can jump in my asks and know that I will love them. I want everyone, of every race and every gender and ever creed of this world to know they are welcome and accepted here. Like a wise man that we all know and love once said. I'm not the person they say I am. I never was. And I think some of them know that. It is my greatest hope that any of you who wish to stick around get to know me for yourselves.

It is my greatest wish that those blogs who are still spouting hate about me really grow and heal. Or even better, pop on over and get to know me? I think it's important to understand why you might hate someone and not just from unreliable sources. If you think that I am some sort of s/a supporter who revels in writing that sort of thing then I'd be glad to dispel that myth.

I'm not going to speak on this again because I feel that I've moved on. This blog is my creative outlet and always will be. And as I've stated above its a safe and loving space for all. I'm reclaiming the fun. And hopefully some of you will stick around for it. And if not, I bid you a farewell. With nothing but love in my heart.

#my truth #im not who you think i am #love #support #truth #an open letter #i hope this helps

[longing-for-rain]

What incident are you talking about that makes zk mad and have personal beef with you?

Actually now that I’ve done some investigating it’s unclear exactly who is mad at me because there are two cliques mad at me for opposite reasons.

Basically, I hold what I used to think was a very simple and uncontroversial opinion, which is that fiction is a great way to explore dark themes and topics, but at the same time, can spread harmful and insulting messages if these topics aren’t treated respectfully. Too much nuance for tumblr, apparently. Some people called me a terf for saying rape is bad and some people called me a pedo for so much as mentioning sexual themes in my writing. So we’ve got polar opposites here.

As for “incidents” I’ll give a brief overview under a cut because (warning) it involves sexual abuse and suicidal ideation.

To summarize:

I became active in the Zutara fandom during mid-late 2020 as a result of being online due to the pandemic. Just before the pandemic, I suffered a sexual assault and Zutara (ship and community) became a source of escapism and comfort for me

Shortly after becoming active on tumblr, I joined a fandom event and was paired up with a beta reader. This person proceeded to groom and sexually abuse me over the course of about a year. To put it in perspective, this occurred during the height of the pandemic and we were often on discord calls for hours every day. It was a very involved and predatory “friendship”. And I want to make this extremely clear—do not try to find this person. I’ll only answer questions about this in DMs if you legitimately have personal safety concerns. I don’t think they’re even active anymore and I’ve made peace with the fact I’ll never get proper closure or justice and any attempt will only result in more victim blaming and abuse. So please don’t bother. I’ve been over it

I didn’t realize what was happening to me was sexual abuse at the time, only that it hurt and that something was wrong. Due to the sort of culture I’d been sucked into, I wasn’t allowed to properly express my discomfort and had difficulty articulating what was wrong (being autistic doesn’t help there either). So every time I tried voicing discomfort, I was shamed into silence until it reached a breaking point

As I gradually started waking up to the fact I was being abused, I also, as a result, started unpacking some of the harmful ideas that were directly enabling my abuse and questioning them. This made my abuser angry; they felt their control slipping I imagine. I started exploring these ideas through my writing and asking questions about things. That made people angry

My abuser knew what they were doing. They were a self proclaimed “fandom old” and knew how these communities operate much better than I did at the time. So they got a notoriously loud and stupid Zutara stan angry with me, who proceeded to (predictably) write a bunch of unhinged tumblr rants and dogpile on me over discord. As a result, everyone in her clique also decided I was evil and scapegoated some other bullshit (at this point I don’t even remember everything I’ve been accused of) onto me. She also used sexually degrading language (I don’t think she knew this but it was word-for-word things that had been said to me by men who abused me in real life) and this resulted in me being triggered, suicidal, and it was a whole mess. Lots of people were fighting and there was even a rumor (I have no way of confirming this) that anti-Zutara people got in the mix because they enjoyed watching the infighting

I actually did attempt suicide once, and seriously considered it on a few other occasions. These people only used this as further evidence that I was crazy and couldn’t be trusted or believed

Then, as I stated increasingly using writing to vent about what I experienced, people got mad at me for that too. Even called me a pedo. I think that’s the worst part—that the message from all this is that women’s sexual assault and torture is meant for titillation and entertainment, but serious and meaningful exploration of it is forbidden

Currently, people still share out of context pieces of this story and act like I’m some horrible prude and/or pervert. People who don’t even know me spread rumors without asking me a single thing. They’re spineless and believe whatever their respective clique does. So that’s where I’m at

At this point I more or less keep to myself and focus on writing. I do really love writing and Zutara, and despite everything, it still did/does bring me comfort while dealing with the worst few years of my life. I also have received so much positive feedback about my writing—people telling me it helped them, it resonated, it made them see things in a new light. That’s meaningful to me so I continue doing it.

And I try not to take what happened too personally either. Over time I realized I’m not the first person they treated like this and I won’t be the last. That’s just how cliques work, and how people who are different are treated. Tale as old as time: once they’ve decided you’re a witch, they’ll burn you no matter what you say.

#tw sa #tw suicide mention #fandom drama #I guess #ask #anon

[yuelun]

𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐓 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐄𝐑.

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄: Manon, but I go by Sae! 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍: She/her. 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌: Discord. I'll deal with Tumblr IMs if people prefer it as I understand not everyone is comfortable sharing their Discord right away. I just find Tumblr IMs to be infinitely impractical, I miss the ability to directly reply/quote previous messages and such, and I often type way too much, so you can surely imagine! Any way, I'm easy enough with Discord, if you ask, the chance is high that you'll get it. So don't hesitate to ask! 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒: My ever dearest Guizhong, and Yelan is over here. 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄: Throughout Tumblr? Joining the Genshin RPC, actually. I've said this about a previous fandom of mine, but it's been about a year since I first entered this one with Guizhong (originally on my multi for about a month), and it's been nothing short of my best and genuinely most peaceful experience in many years. Usually I see fandom problems arise well before the one-year mark, but here it's been quite calm and also, the closest to feeling that old 'community' concept again. We're all here to have a good time, we engage across the board pretty well, and it's just, it's been really nice. I struggled immensely to be on Tumblr for a good two years prior to coming here, despite the best efforts of friends, and I think it's simply because no fandom has quite felt like this one. None of them ever really succeeded in giving me what this one has. You guys are magnificent, never change.

𝐑𝐏 𝐏𝐄𝐓 𝐏𝐄𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐒: You've called salt into your life with this one, be ready: this trend of privately or publicly guilt-tripping people into interacting with them ('I guess no one's interested...' or 'guess I'll go then...') or even for interacting with duplicates of their muse instead. This should never be a thing I'll cut people like that out of my life and off my dashboard as quickly as I breathe for guilting, and I’ll always motivate people to do the same. There is nothing healthy, remotely positive or forgivable about that kind of behavior, but I see it happening very often still. Are people not interacting with you? Go after them with all the fire of motivation that you possess, and if you don’t have that? Then the muse you have before you may not the one for you. Honestly, I think it's just that if you have passion for your muse, then you won’t let yourself get demotivated, you won’t let things hold you back, because you’ll have a spirit that can’t really be quelled in any capacity. Are duplicates intimidating? Then either find your way to shy away from them or let that insecurity drive you; let it make you better, let it drive you to improve (mentally). I’m not saying anyone who experiences insecurity is a lesser writer, not by any means— but let it make you even better than you already are.

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒: I find myself drawn to specific elements or concepts within humanity (or in Guizhong's case, the exact opposite) that are either unusual among the status quo or intriguing.to me personally. I do know that I've always rather fiercely tried to avoid characters that are very reminiscent of me as an individual. Though on some level, there is usually a trait that I understand on a fundamental level in some way or another, the nature in which it's presented is usually simply is different, however. So for example with Yelan, I can talk about this inherent concept of loneliness that is incredibly different from what we consider to be the norm, I've understood the concept incredibly well throughout various parts of my life, but never in the way that it was presented with her whatsoever. And in terms of Guizhong, it's her curiosity to figure everything out, but as a god who by default, does not function in a similar capacity to mortals whatsoever, it's incredibly interesting (and different) for me to see. 𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒: The former, but the latter usually will also either be based on a mentioned plot, or I'll turn it into a plot! 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒: I always inevitably end up getting wordy, but I can start shorter as to establish a sort of writing comfort and/or flow with the other person, especially if you're a new RP partner of mine. I kind of release the reigns to you. 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄: This used to be in the dead of night, and I'm still trying to establish when I write best now. 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄: Generally, nope!

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘: @basbousah 🩶 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆: I'm unsure who's done this and hasn't yet, so if I forgive you and you've done it already, just ignore this! @spiderwarden @immobiliter @avaere @yanwangye @arlquin (please tell Scooby she's also tagged 🤭) @apocryphis @narvvhal @lunaetis @sagnaevi @sortilegii @starwardsword @reginrokkr @astrxl-finale @petrokhelidon @luzofstars @galvanic-duelist and whoever else would like to do it, just say I tagged you! I'm always happy to read these.

#[ et cetera. ] we think of human life as like a lantern that's lit one minute and extinguished the next. but are we adepti so different? #[ me casually tagging this with that tag. me after: slowly dies. ] #[ and as per usual; i can't shut up. so my thing is always; /always/ long. it'll never change guys. ]

[klonoa-at-blog]

From: Klonoa 2: Lunatea’s Veil Official Guide Book (Published by Famitsu/Enterbrain - 2001) (Pg. 201)  

~Messages from the Klonoa 2 Staff~ Lastly, we would like to show you messages from those who were involved in the development of Klonoa 2 to the public. You'll find hard work, inside stories, and a few positive ones(?!) here and there! ......So, thank you all for your hard work!

Yoshihiko Arawi Profile: ● Age: 31 years old ● Blood Type: AB ● Responsibilities: Graphics director, character design, scenario, direction, etc. (Art Director, Lead Character Artist, Screenplay) ● Comments: This was the result of our staff’s blood, sweat, tears, and many other efforts. I am proud to say that we have been able to provide deep gameplay that stimulates the imagination through hidden elements and underlying themes, character movements, and the thoughts entrusted to the background world. We hope you enjoy the game in a natural way, without worrying about such things. First and foremost, have a pleasant adventure in this world! ● Favorite characters: The more I struggled, the more I love and hate Klonoa (laugh). In terms of design, Tat and Spooky Moo are the most like me.

Mika Tominaga Profile: ● Age: Secret ● Blood Type: O ● Responsibilities: Chief of the background team (Background design and production) ● Comments: Tranquility, joy, discord, indecision, and sorrow. Each kingdom of Lunatea is based on human emotions. We prepared the stage for Klonoa, a place where people can be at peace, have fun, be angry, be troubled, be sad, accept these emotions, and grow up. I would like to thank the background staff, the Klonoa team, and all the players who played the game with us. Thank you! ● Favorite character: Joila, the idol of Joilant Fun Park.

Manabu Okano Profile: ● Age: 29 years old ● Blood Type: Unknown  ● Responsibilities: 3D character model chief, character lighting, etc. ● Comments: Enjoy the dynamic movements of the characters and their emotional portrayals. ● Favorite character: King of Sorrow

Naoko Ishizu Profile: ● Age: ? years old ● Blood Type: O ● Responsibilities: Leorina and puppets in general (Character Animation, Lead Puppet Display Scriptor) ● Comments: I am very attached to Leorina because it was the first time for me to create a model, and I had a lot of hard work to do. When deciding on the camera angle for the puppets, I thought, “It would be cooler to shoot from below to make her look more intimating.” I tried to create impactful atmosphere for Leorina, even though she did not appear in the game very often. ● Favorite character: Leorina

Daigo Okumura Profile: ● Age: 26 years old ● Blood Type: O ● Responsibilities: Lolo’s model, motion production, background character production, etc. ● Comments: I have a confession to make, but there was one part in Lolo’s creation that left me with some regret before the final mastering. When Mr. Arai was thinking up Lolo’s favorite thing, I felt I had to make a statement: “Lolo’s favorite thing is mocha java, it’s the only way! It’s perfect! Perfect!” But I was rejected without a second thought. I hope to work without regrets next time. ● Favorite character: Tat

Aiko Shimosako Profile: ● Age: 26 years old ● Blood Type: O ● Responsibilities: Backgrounds (3D Background Design) ● Comments: I was in charge of designing the puppet display backgrounds and a few backgrounds for the main game. I became a big fan of Klonoa: Door to Phantomile before I joined the company, and my first project after joining was Klonoa 2. The thing that remains in my memory are the bugs we had with puppet displays. Unlike bugs during gameplay, the bugs concerning puppet displays were interesting. Too bad we can’t see them anymore in the full version. (Of course!!) ● Favorite character: Moo! (Especially the ones that sleep)

#klonoa #leorina #tat #king of sorrow #moo #lunatea's veil #translation #yoshihiko arai

[lailoken]

Maybe this is a silly question, but do you think a 16-year-old can practice witchcraft?

I am 16 and was once told by an older witch with extremely closed-minded views that I was too young for the craft and had no idea what I was doing simply because it was not passed down to me by someone in my family. I was wondering what your thoughts on this were, as while I acknowledge that I am still young and fairly inexperienced, I already have a patron god and a personal spirit who has been protecting me since I was 8. I know how to do divination, manifestation, and basic protection and am skilled with harnessing my energy.

Sorry for the long message. I want to follow your blog but am extremely nervous to do so because the last time I encountered a witchy blog on Tumblr, they decided to try to gatekeep my own practice from me and talked down to me in such a way that they had no place to considering as they didn't know me.

There is a lot here to address, and I don't think this is necessarily the best way to try and do so, but I will give it my best attempt.

Firstly, when you say witchcraft, I assume you mean magic in general? Just because, to me, witchcraft has specific connotations. Until only a few years ago, I viewed a witch as any magical practitioner who specifically makes compacts with numinous entities—generally leading to a spiritual metamorphosis of some sort—and who is involved in the mythos and praxis of Sabbatic flight. This really isn’t far off base, however, as time has gone by, I have also come to associate it more with people who use that spiritual support specifically to sow harm and/or discord (whatever the witch's goal for that behavior might be.)

So, if you do, in fact, mean the latter when you ask about witchcraft, then yes, I do think you're too young. Unless someone is in such a bad situation that it's their only hope, I absolutely don't encourage minors to get involved with malefic magic, as it can be really tricky to deal with. And not in "threefold law" way, but in the "magical equivalent of a trying to make drugs in your shed" way. What's more, while do think witchcraft has its time and place, I don't think anyone should be champing at the bit to use it. For example, though I did use maleficia in 2023, I could count the times on one hand, and the people I used it on were more than deserving of it by pretty broad moral standards.

As for magic in general, I don't believe that someone needs hereditary transmission to become a mage, and I don't think that the teeange years are too young to begin that sort of work. But I do think it's important that people remember their limitations and not try to push themselves to unwise places simply because they want to prove themselves. It's great to be curious and spiritually inclined, and some young people truly are ahead of their time when it comes to magic, even if they're not formally trained—but try not to be in a rush. You have a lifetime of experimentation and growth ahead of you.

What's more, I also think it's important for you to remember that, as a minor, most adult practitioners are going to distance themselves from you explicitly—and they should. For the most part, it's not normal or healthy for adults—especially organized groups of them, such as covens—to be interacting with people your age, and if any of them do then I strongly advise you to walk the other direction.

Best of luck to you in finding your way along this path, and remember that passion and power are often at their best when they walk hand-in-hand with earnesty and prudence.

#anonymous #ask #witchcraft #traditional withcraft

[epitomereally]

You’re so talented. Every time your fan binding pictures cross my dash I stare at them for *hours*. The amount of care and detail you put into your books blows my mind. I know you talk about the process for each individual book on your fic binding posts but I wanted to ask: how do you plan your fic binds? Do you visualize what the fic would look like if it were a book while you read it? Do the colors and illustrations you choose come to you as you read the fic, or after? How does your approach to fic binding differ from your approach to writing? Etc. I’m curious about your creative process, though the technical part is also super interesting!

Ps: I love all the fics you chose to bind but I was so excited when you picked GallaPlacidia’s Ship of Theseus - probably my favorite of theirs. You have great taste 😁💚

Eek Elise THANK YOU! I’m so flattered & honored. Also always happy to talk fanbinding, especially binding design (my one true love)!

I would say planning takes the vast majority of my binding time—it’s something I love and I agonize over and I struggle with—while the actual binding often goes quite quickly! I often start with one element that I’m excited about & feel fits the the specific fic: a color or spine stitching pattern or a chapter title concept or title page (like the hand-dyed cover + birds for You Open Always or the blooming morning glories for Meet Me at Midnight) and then, because I have no chill or a single subtle bone in my body, I just roll with that element through the whole book until it’s totally exhausted (wish I could spoil some of my upcoming binds here, but you will SEE VERY SHORTLY what I mean). Every single time I make a book, around the time where I’m printing out the typeset, I feel that I’ve made a grievous error in including one more item than I should have, like it’s way too much. An example is the blackletter ornate font I ended up using for the title of You Open Always—you can see in my draft Illustrator document where I was trying out tons of concepts using stock images that most of my title page concepts were with a much simpler, more modern font that I used for the chapter numbers. However, in the end, I’ve always been happy that I’ve gone completely 100% on my vision, even if it’s a lot. In that way, I feel like it’s like writing—I may be incorporating all the elements I want to see imperfectly and have doubts about them, but I’m still putting everything I want in there & I’m proud and happy for that, even if I still have more things to learn.

One last design element I want to highlight: BODY FONT! This is something I am still learning so much about and the Renegade Discord has been incredibly helpful (a recent message I sent: what font would you find in a pulpy 60s mystery paperback?). A gorgeous title page or chapter header or cover is great for setting the mood when you open a book, but the body font is 90%+ of what you see when reading, so I spend a TON of time trying different fonts to fit the vibe of the fic. I have no thoughts or advice or guidelines though—it’s like porn & you just know it when you see it.

I also get a ton of inspiration from fellow fanbinders, both on the Renegade Discord server & here on tumblr. A lot of time, I see a technique or cover or typeset and think that that would look incredible for XYZ fic. An extremely abbreviated list of people who inspire me daily: @a-gay-old-time (Emma, you're a BLESSING), @queercore-curriculum, @bindsbymunchkin, @pleasantboatpress (one of the most welcoming members of the Renegade server, in addition to being an incredibly inspiring binder), @chubsonthemoon, @no-name-publishing, @zhalfirin-binds, @dontcallmebree, @amywaterwings & @runawaymarbles. Sorry for all the tags, but want this as a resource for others! I would absolutely love to know how all of you come up with your artistic vision for the binds that you do (and please tag me if you post!). 

P.s. Ship of Theseus was a request from QC but I am SO HAPPY they requested it, because it’s one of my favorites too :)

#posts i actually wrote #fanbinding asked & answered #lettersbyelise #THANK YOU elise 💕

[capcavan]

okay anon from that one ask you reblogged i think i might have worded that a little wrong. its less about prettying him up or making fun content of him and more of a lot of people with few select exceptions either ignoring riko as a character because hes a bad person (majority) or ignoring rikos actions (which i have seen, though not often at all). i personally love your riko content, youre like one of the only people in the aftg fandom not afraid to do anything with him and explore his character. and this is not an attack on you or how you see riko but i wish more people took the time to analyze him. i have so many thoughts about riko that i’m afraid to say in case of backlash, but i really wish there was more content only how other people see him too. i mean i get it hes a bad person and people dont like him but hes also a character. he isnt real riko moriyama will not jump you if you talk about him. sorry if that doesnt make sense when i sent that ask it was not about you at all

hi! please do not take my messages as some attempt at discourse i just believe that topics like this should not be left vague because different people put different amount of attachment to details [me for example due to my history in this fandom i do get pretty sensitive when vague things are said this way so i might have taken the general conversation personally but hey i am defensive of my little menace! someone has to! ] I'm glad you enjoy my stuff! > i have so many thoughts about riko that i’m afraid to say in case of backlash Feel free to spam my inbox or i can add you on discord dm? i love talking about the lil bitch!!!! >or ignoring riko's actions (which i have seen, though not often at all) see this is the thing i am interested in because i OBSESSIVELY follow riko content , i spend DAYS brushing riko moriyama tag and digging up bunch of old abandoned blogs and i just never saw someone make claims like this! (id know i woudl def try to make friend with them lmao) I'm sorry if my approach to this case is dismissive maybe i really missed it but it kind of just feels like generalization of people saying ,, he did nothing wrong" as a meme , nobody who can read would actually genuinely believe this But please let me just say up front - i like talking about things and having discussion its not argument drama or discourse okay? no hard feelings anywhere , i really really am happy to be proved wrong (bc this means there is riko content somewhere out there i had not found yet GIVE ME )

#riko moriyama

[separatist-apologist]

Adding to the discord of how sjm handles deaths, another factor that make them “dumb” is that sjm always kills someone major at the ending of the book only to bring them back again with magic. Feyre dies TWICE, both in acotar and acosf. Rhysand dies and comes back. Amren dies and comes back. Like girl, why waste time killing them then?

And to me her worldbuilding ends up inconsistent because you have a way to bring people from the death, proven FOUR times already, but you don’t have a safe C sections for winged babies? (This one makes me mad ngl)

I have to just pretend the baby plot does not exist in order to keep going. I have kids, and I sometimes wonder if people truly appreciate the literal nightmare scenario that was presented.

I think for me, it's the constant brutalization of Feyre that feels uncomfortable. There was no reason Feyre had to go through it, and across every book, the consistent theme is Feyre's suffering, often caused by the men in her life who are never truly held accountable for their actions (both in narrative AND by the fandom).

I have long wondered SJM's personal beliefs because I think they do heavily influence the way she writes and the messages she imparts. The High Lords can resurrect people through the power of their combined friendship rings. And Amren tells us in ACOSF that the fae will fuck anything.

And no one has ever had to deal with a winged baby coming out of a narrow pelvis. I just- that plot line makes me feel sick. It turns me into an anti. Feyre didn't deserve it and between you and me, I am literally so fucking tired of the "ancient man who acts like a 17 year old high school drop out knows whats best for his child bride and therefore gets to make all the decisions for her regardless of her own autonomy/reasonable requests/wishes to not see him."

They ALL do it. Rhys is endlessly lying to Feyre (in order to keep secrets from the readers, but it gives the impression he does not respect her). Cassian gets to take Nesta on a nightmare hike because he knows what's best. Azriel gets to go around Elain and veto her decision to help find the trove even after she says she wants to do it/spare Nesta having to do it again.

And the fandom will do absolute backflips on why these men get to act like this. Why it's actually okay, that its mate behavior (kill me actually?), that they aren't invalidating their choices (they absolutely are, across the board) and its so deeply problematic to me. People will talk about the absolute girl power/boss bitch feminism of these books and then refuse to engage critically with the source material and ask "oh shit actually what are these books actually saying?"

These books are mid, full stop. It's absolutely fine to enjoy them, lord knows I do. But I do wish when we were having conversations about like, why Feyre couldn't have a safe pregnancy, it didn't devolve into "stans are fucking stupid" as if these books weren't intentionally written/edited/marketed and then produced. Like choices weren't made narratively, and what those choices are saying. In a society where a good portion of the US was stripped of their right to bodily autonomy, things like a man deciding his wife doesn't need to know the baby living inside her is going to kill her is too close to home for a lot of people.

I can't stay on topic today and I'm sorry. But that pregnancy plotline and the abuse of the women in the books bothers me a lot.

#sjm critical #haters book review technically? #feyre defense squad #actually archeron sister defense squad #its been a while since i tagged that #free these women from the men in the story #send those men to THERAPY

[slowrvn]

( logan lerman, cis male, he/him ) have you met nathan hawke yet ? you know, the twenty5 year old graduate student majoring in veterinary medicine. ring a bell yet ? every time i walk past their dorm i hear the logical song by supertramp blasting through the door. everyone who meets them say they’re passionate but can also be a little resentful. guess when you meet them you’ll figure that out yourself.

hey, everyone !!  this  is  zazz (  she/her,  twenty3, gmt  )  bringing  you  mr.  nathan hawke. here you’ll  find  all  the  info  you  need  to get to know him.  if  you  wanna  plot,  hmu  on  discord  ( lvnelynights ) or through private messages !!

*     ⸻     𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑  𝐎𝐍𝐄.

name :  nathan hawke. date  of  birth :  november 15, 1998. zodiac  sign :  scorpio  sun,  gemini  rising,  libra  moon, scorpio venus. place  of  birth :  new haven, connecticut. occupation :  veterinary medicine graduate student. education  :  radcliffe university. sexuality :  heterosexual. relationship  status :  single.

*     ⸻     𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑  𝐓𝐖𝐎.

positive  traits :  intelligent,  dynamic, adaptable, kind-hearted, passionate. neutral  traits :  observant,  detached, logical,  sarcastic. negative  traits :  secretive,  stubborn,  moody, resentful, disorganized. likes :  oversized sweaters, rainy weather,  cats, cooking,  retro music, late  night  drives, brownies. dislikes :  hypocrites,  wet socks,  long  phone  calls,  overplayed songs,  romantic  movies, being lost, most social media. habits  :  gesturing when speaking, frowning, jaw clenching,  cracking his knuckles. alcohol ?  cigarettes ?  drugs ? sometimes.  sometimes.  rarely.

*     ⸻     𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘.

nathan was born into a broken family. his parents were way too young, about to turn seventeen and eighteen, when they found out about him. their families didn't approve of the pregnancy, begging them to think about other options, but they refused. it's safe to say things did not turn great for them after that. they became estranged from their relatives, starting their own little family the only way they could at that moment. they moved to a small trailer park just before nathan was born. his father, david, had found a job at the local car workshop as a mechanic, bringing some small amounts of money home while tessa took care of baby nathan.

the next years would be filled with sacrifice and struggle for the young couple. after their honeymoon phase, the fights were constant, growing louder and more violent each time. nathan observed it all, often questioning if it would all end someday. when he noticed the odds were against him, he gave up trying to change anything. for him, the everlasting toxicity of his parents' relationship became the norm.

the young hawke would grow up exhausted. when he was a teenager, he would join some clubs and the soccer team, occupying his time and mind with those activities, hoping to escape the hours of shouting he had to endure in his home. later on, he also started working some little jobs here and there, saving some of the money for himself. two of the jobs, dog walking, and pet-sitting, really took his mind off his problems. their parents never let him have pets, so he never discovered how much he loved them. aside from those odd jobs, he would often volunteer in the animal shelter located near the trailer park. since then, he knew he had to work with animals.

when the time came, he applied to radcliffe university, wanting to study veterinary medicine. when he discovered they had accepted him, he couldn't be happier. that letter meant the daily fights would end, so he could finally be able to breathe. now, a graduate student, he can't imagine what his life would look like if he hadn't left for uni. that campus has been his home for years - one that doesn't hurt as much as the one he's always been used to.

*     ⸻     𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒.

he's kinda shy and quiet at first, so he's used to being called mysterious, on campus - he doesn't really like it but doesn't really fight it either.

he functions better at night so it's not unusual to see him at the library until like four a.m. most days of the week.

he currently works in a tiny grocery shop near campus.

he is also a music geek. his faves are the beatles, led zeppelin, the doors, creedence clearwater revival and queen.

*     ⸻     𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃  𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

VET MED COLLEAGUES :  other veterinary medicine students... someone he can study with and someone who understands when he complains about some teachers.

SOCCER TEAMMATES : someone who's also in the soccer team.

UNLIKELY FRIENDS : they don't look like they could be actual friends to others but that doesn't matter, they've built a good enough friendship regardless.

BEST FRIENDS : nathan has a harder time trusting people, however these are different. they're his go-to people for every occasion.

PARTY BUDDIES : he doesn't mind a little party, especially when these people join him. they share the most random drunk/high stories.

FLIRTATIONSHIP :  he's kinda sarcastic so this could lead to some cute banter.

ONE  NIGHT  STAND  :  maybe after some party they hooked up, it was good but that's about it.

EX GIRLFRIEND : someone around his age, maybe they dated for some months but eventually broke up. they can be on good or bad terms now, i'm down for both.

OTHER  DESIRED  RELATIONSHIPS :  other members of the student government, people he worked with, frenemies,  enemies,  wingman/wingwoman,  crush  (  one-sided  or  not  ), leading on...  anything you think fits, really !

#radcliffeintro

[lostin-thewild]

the bitch is back. hi! ! i’m gonna start by saying this is a terrible fking idea bc i’m the worst and i ghost a lot but… i love to write so here i am posting this again. i need people who are willing to jump IMMEDIATELY into writing. too often i spend a ton of time plotting or talking about characters… we can do that WHILE we write lol

i’d love to find a few chill rp partners! i’ll start with the other important things 1) i rp on discord only. 2) i can be a little flakey. i’m sorry. i cannot and will not reply every day. so if you’re looking for someone who will consistently reply to threads 10 times a day, that’s not me. HOWEVER i love, love to talk headcanons and about our ships on the daily in between replies! (you want someone who will make you a tumblr tag and a pinterest board? that’s me lol) i’ve also been loving discord for fast / fun text threads so if we do that in addition to threads, you’re likely to get a response from me every day. 3) if you’re looking for someone who will write 4 paragraphs per reply, that’s not me. i sometimes write long starters or sometimes i get in my feelings and write a lot, but a typical reply from me is 1 paragraph! 4) if we’ve tried writing / plotting together before and it didn’t work out PLEASE feel free to reach out! i’m just very shy and i think people hate me for ghosting so i feel awkward reaching out to them. I’M USING A DIF DISCORD NOW THO SO PLS MESSAGE ME ON TUMBLR.

i’m 30 and prefer partners close to my age. but at the min, 21+ muns only! i’m looking for some chill stuff, where we can try a plot/thread or two together and see if we vibe. if we do, i will want 30 ships with you. if we don’t, no hard feelings. we just might not be the writing partner for each other and we can part ways! you can always tell me if you’re not feeling something, and i ask that you be receptive if i do the same.

below the cut i’ll put some more info about me / what i’m looking for. plots, faces, ships i’m into, etc. it’s VERY long and has more info than anyone needs bc i add to it all the time. you DO NOT have to read it all! (kudos if you do lol) it’s just in case you want to learn more about me! like this if you’re interested and i’ll reach out via IM!!! or if you see anything below that catches your eye, feel free to just IM me as well! (you will get a response faster from me if you IM me instead of liking the post just fyi)

i love being friends with my rp partners, so please know that i WILL message you periodically to check in with you (not on your level of interest in the plot, you as a person lol), send you gifs, posts, playlists, whatever, talk about our plots, etc. i’ll make pinterest boards, instagam templates. all that. please know it is NOT me attempting to rush you into replying! i’m so patient and don’t care how long you take. i genuinely just want to be your friend lol. so if you will be annoyed by me messaging you, i’m probably not for you. and if you give me no enthusiasm in response, i’m less likely to want to write with you. it is what it is.

i’ve been more into creating a new muse with every plot lately. but i’m happy to play against any of your muses if you like to write with pre-established muses! i also LOVE mumus/having multiple plots in the same universe. i love real life plots, i love creating fantasy universes, i love scifi, horror, angst, fluff… literally anything. i’m open to nsfw and dark themes (no rape, incest, abuse, or grooming) as well as long as we talk about everything beforehand. i’m down for smut as long as it’s part of a plot, but if it’s not your thing, i’m fine not including it!

i’ll write m/m and m/f. i’m open to f/f, but i go for m/m and m/f more. always here for platonic things also!!! i do have a preference for playing men bc  like getting in touch with my masc side. i don’t care if you only want to play women just let me know up front. i’ll play muses 18 to 118. (ok mb not that old but i have had muses in their 60s before.)

here are some faces i love as well as ships and plots i’d love to do! i’m 100% not limited to these things!!! but if you’re curious as to what i like or if you want a jumping off point to start plotting, it might be helpful for you!!

M O S T   W A N T E D aka i will do anything in return if you give me any of these!! - i’d literally give my first born for this. i’ve tried it so many times but i suck and it keeps falling through! - i wanna use my oliver jackson-cohen muse in something like dark and angsty and smutty and like mafia-ish. idk if this sounds remotely interesting i can give you the pinterest and tag and stuff i have for him/the plot!! - also this, this, this, and this okay thanks bye. - rudy pankow x madelyn cline in a bffs to lovers just wait i can explain this!! - i also wanna use manny montana. maybe an age gap? maybe dark, maybe angsty, maybe smutty idk like the usual YOU KNOW  - i need a m/m hockey rivals plot i have ideas too!! - will give my second born for anyone who lets me play as or against milly alcock, emily carey, and/or olivia cooke in something fantasy/historical bc... obsessed with them in HOTD O T  H E R   P L O T S - books i’d love to do plots based on: red, white & royal blue!!!!, the selection plssssss, anything based on the grishaverse (especially SoC or wesper or helnik omg), the house in the cerulean sea, falling kingdoms, shadowhunter universe (OCs mostly, but i would also play matthew fairchild or an older kit rook!), captive prince, all for the game, the raven cycle, the winner’s trilogy, the lunar chronicles, IT (18+ eddie x richie bc i’m trash?), the crown’s game, the night circus, an ember in the ashes, the kiss of deception, the song of achilles, throne of glass, the cruel prince... proably more lol. tbh you don’t even have to have read any of them i can just scream the plot at you lol - i would KILLLLLL for a plot based on young royals on netflix! - absolutely a n y t h i n g enemies to lovers. especially if it’s like slowburn enemies to friends to lovers. pls. - bodyguard plots!! bodyguard x royal, bodyguard x politician’s kid, bodyguard x actor. anything. - any kind of age gap plot with an older woman x younger man pls  - SPORTSSSS. i’m absolute trash for hockey and baseball. (but will do any sports honestly.) olympic stuff!! gimme figure skater/hockey player. give me teammates secretly crushing on each other/hooking up after the game but no homo/etc. give me rivals. two people competing for a captain spot. etc. - rom com plots!!! (sweet home alabama, the proposal, just go with it, set it up, while you were sleeping, the girl next door, trainwreck, clueless, bridget jones’s diary, chasing liberty, LITERALLY ANY) - fake dating!!!! (or fake married or anything like that!!) any kind. in any plot. in any scenario. can’t promise not to cry if we also include the only one bed trope bc i don’t care how often i see it, i consider it literary genius every damn time i encounter it. - i live for friends to lovers. especially if they’re both really dumb and if it’s gay. - college! sororities! frats! sports! - i love any sort of crime plot. mob. mafia. anything like that. - royalty anything. real life or fantasy. - historical plots!! literally from any era. i just love history ok. - stuff with older muses! a couple of divorcees. single parents, second chance romance.. idk anything lol - anything in my PLOTS tag

i generally prefer to pick a plot THEN a face, but just to get an idea of the kinds of faces i usually go for, they’re down below! honestly i’ll probs suggest a lot of faces not on this list

F A C E S aaron paul, alex fitzalan, anthony mackie, aron piper, axel auriant, bill skarsgard, charlie gillespie, cody christian, dacre montgomery, dev patel, diego luna, dylan sprayberry, felix mallard, freddy carter, hero fiennes-tiffin, ian bohen, isaiah mustafa, joel kinnaman, jonathan daviss, logan shroyer, lorenzo zurzolo, lucien laviscount, manny montana, matthew daddario, maxence danet-fauvel, octavio pisano, oliver jackson-cohen, oliver stark, oscar isaac, nick robinson, rafael silva, rege-jean page, ronen rubinstein, rudy pankow, ryan guzman, suraj sharma, taron egerton, taylor zakhar perez, thomas doherty, timothee chalamet, tom holland, zethphan smith gneist.

adeline rudolph, aisha dee, amber stevens west, anya taylor-joy, aslihan malbora, benedetta porcaroli, brianne howey, bruna marquezine, chloe bailey, cindy kimberly, constance wu, dove cameron, dua lipa, eiza gonzalez, ester expósito, geraldine viswanathan, january jones, josefine frida pettersen, khadijha red thunder, katheryn winnick, kristine froseth, lovie simone, madelyn cline, maia mitchell, marilyn lima, meg donnelly, milly alcock, natacha karam, natalia dyer, paulina singer, precious mustapha, rachel hilson, romi van renterghem, ryan destiny, samantha logan, sofia bryant, sydney sweeney, tessa thompson, veerle dejaeger, yael shelbia, yara shahidi, zion moreon.

you can also look through my FACES tag for more ideas! but honestly, i’m open to a lot!!

S H I P S aron piper x omar ayuso aron piper x manu rios axel auriant x maxence danet-fauvel brandon flynn x richard madden bridgette lundy-paine x fivel stewart cody christian x dylan sprayberry evan mock x thomas doherty (x emily alyn lind) jonathan daviss x rudy pankow madelyn cline x rudy pankow oliver stark x ryan guzman rafael silva x ronen rubenstein savannah lee smith x zion moreno

#discord 1x1 #1x1 rp #1x1 roleplay #1x1 discord

[foxpunk]

the new discord update is something i'm...disappointed about. yeahhh disappointed is apt. i think things like the launchpad and swipe gestures are neat ideas in theory, but their execution leaves much to be desired. not having gestures be a toggle is an accessibility nightmare, for one. the gesture responses are also too finicky. not smooth at all and often responding even when there's a swipe in a different direction. lagging significantly as well. discord's claims of improving load times fall flat when so many people are complaining about even longer load times.

complaints and observations and general ranting below the cut along with a list of hopefully helpful settings and alternatives for those who need it.

i feel like a lot of discord's issues with their updates in the past year or so could be negated--or at least abated--by expanding their pool of beta testers, testing for longer lengths of time, and (crucially) refining changes more before rolling them out. like...super basic shit they're just not doing to the extent they need to be doing them.

(on that note...discord, you literally have the email of every user, would it kill you to send out a few more surveys asking your userbase what possible new features sound good to them? i know a lot of people have discord email stuff turned off but can you at least try?! hell, if there was an option to opt in to email surveys and i thought they'd actually listen to responses they got, i'd turn it on out of sheer desperation at this point.)

also--and i know this is some extra work for them to do, and they seem to really hate that--i think that when such major changes are rolled out they should 1) be rolled out a bit slower/in smaller chunks and 2) at least SOME of the features should reasonably have a toggle to keep the old settings (*cough* GESTURES *cough*). their motive for this doesn't even have to be out of the good of their hearts! like, fuck telemetrics, but if they're gonna have them in their app anyways at least use telemetrics to like, gauge how many people are using these hypothetical toggles so you have another way to judge how users are responding. there! free idea! please use it.

anyways, i want to end on something helpful so here are a few bits of info about the updates i've discovered messing around, and also ways (or. well. A Way) to change them back if you have too much trouble adjusting. i'm sure plenty of people have noticed these things already, but i thought i'd compile them for those who want it all in one place or who haven't had the time or energy to mess with things in the app.

Settings > Accessibility > Reduced Motion: as far as i can tell, this does not seem to apply to the new transition animations in the app. oof, to say the least.

Messages > Add Friends > "Allow contacts to add me": many people were worried about this checkbox, but thankfully they seemed to have fixed the its-checked-automatically-and-doesn't-stay-unchecked thing. and, regardless, it doesn't actually change your app settings. if you already have Contact Sync disabled (Settings > Privacy & Safety > Find Your Friends > "Sync Contacts") checking this separate box will not suddenly enable it. however, if you have not disabled contact syncing then this checkbox will function as intended when you click the "Find friends" button below it.

Swipe-to-Reply: thankfully, you do not have to swipe to reply, the option to long press a message for a menu is still there. (for those wondering: swiping is nice accessibility for some and horrible accessibility for others, and should always be a toggle if you know what you're doing when making an app...*pointed stare into camera*). unfortunately, there's no way to turn swipe replies off that i've found.

Settings > Advanced > LaunchPad > "Full Screen Gesture": this claims to turn swipe replies off in exchange for using the gesture to activate the LaunchPad. however, after testing it out multiple times it does not actually turn them off and simply creates a gesture conflict that leaves both swipe replies and the LaunchPad more difficult to access.

Settings > Advanced > LaunchPad > "Right Edge Gesture": same issues as the first option with the additional difficulties of a more...sensitive touch response. forget "gesturing" if you so much as tap near the right edge of the screen it will attempt to pull out the LaunchPad. this right "edge" area also covers the reply button and settings menu toggles, by the way. so if you enabled this, good luck sending messages or turning the feature back off.

(did i mention these first two options also make it nearly impossible to swipe the left side channel and server lists open and closed? because they do.)

Settings > Advanced > LaunchPad > "Pull Tab": this is the option to choose if you want to keep the LaunchPad without gesture conflicts and shit navigation. it creates a tiny tab on the right edge of the screen for you to pull out the LaunchPad with, and you can adjust where the tab floats as well.

obviously, the final "Disabled" setting simply disabled the LaunchPad. Bye bye!

the fact that other color schemes for the app are behind a paywall is absolute bullshit by the way and i hate that there's no easy fix for that on mobile.

personally, i like that the vertical server list is here to stay and that DMs are now in a separate place, as this is a bit more similar to the desktop version where servers are vertically listed and DMs are in a different place (albeit still along the left edge).

before you ask, no there's no setting to get the old color scheme and layout back...UNLESS--!!!

(FOR ANDROID USERS ONLY; RIP EVERYONE ELSE.) if discord has become less accessible for you or you simply don't vibe with any of the shit currently going on, then you can download the previous version of the discord app through an APK file. first, disable auto-updates in google play. then uninstall discord from your phone. lastly, follow the instructions on this post that will help you download the necessary file from APKMirror (please note the recommended version is 206.16). do not use a different site, APKMirror is the safe one (well. safest. remember folks nothing online is 100% safe).

#note: i'm also experiencing those longer load times #but personally i think this is more due to the age of my phone and how behind it's hardware and software is than discord itself #and i'm noticing i at least haven't been constantly disconnected and reconnected like i was before the update...Yet. #ky speaks

[ancrchy]

hey y’alllll, jay here with jeon jiwoong — spoilt brat and trust fund baby banished to daegu after repeated fuck-ups back in seoul! his dad got sick of him spending his trust fund on partying and reckless endeavours so he removed his access to it and made him live with his grandma in daegu. more info about him will be below the cut! i also have an about page up. like this post if you’d like to plot, i'll drop you a message! i’m available on discord too if that’s better for you.

₊˙ ◌ ⁎˚ 〇﹒﹙kim sunwoo. cis male. he/him.﹚guess who was almost late for their shift at lapis roasters again?? that’s right, it was jeon jiwoong! it’s a wonder their job as a/an barista isn’t in jeopardy. the 23 year old has been working at sunset galleria for three months, and is well known for their outspoken nature. on bad days, they can be rather arrogant, though. when the mall is dead at night, they can usually be found flirting with customers, but don’t tell their boss!

001. BACKGROUND

his dad’s side of the family comes from old money

they have a family business, which jiwoong is expected to inherit one day

his paternal grandparents had set up a trust fund for him, one he gained access to once he started college (he is in his final year and is currently on leave)

big mistake, because he took it as an excuse to do whatever he wanted

he went out partying every other day and dabbled in illegal activities like street racing etc.

what really did it for his dad was when he had gotten into a small accident after one of those illegal street races

his dad removed his access to his trust fund and sent him to daegu to live with his maternal grandmother

his mother had fallen ill and passed away when he was in high school but he had never healthily processed it; his dad was also too busy with work to realise that

this is also why he turned to bad company as he got older, because all the fun distracted him from the loss he never properly dealt with

he used to visit daegu during holidays when he was a child, but has never been back since his mother passed on

his dad wanted to send him away to reflect on his mistakes and have a taste of hardship, so he would understand the value of money and the responsibility that came with having a trust fund

so he decided it was best for him to live in daegu with his maternal grandma, who comes from a more humble background than his paternal family

his dad also figured that in order for him to inherit his family business one day, he has to understand the importance of hard work, which is why he insisted he get a job and not live off his grandma

i imagine this to be a time of reflection and learning for him, where he has to work for the first time ever and kind of returns to his roots, or his mom's roots, whom he avoided thinking about the past couple of years

002. PERSONALITY

a spoilt brat who has never lived a day of hardship so you can expect him to be struggling with this whole job thing

in the beginning, he most probably would be complaining or whining about how he wants to go home

but he's your typical softie whose bark is louder than his bite

might cause trouble for you and end up feeling really bad about it but doesn't know how to apologise because it makes him look "weak"

he's honestly just a child at heart and a lot easier to please than you think (just buy him some ice-cream and he'd be grinning from ear to ear)

seemingly doesn't take things seriously but it's only because he struggles with being vulnerable

is very prideful and might stay up all night perfecting his latte art just because you made a comment about how it sucked

very outspoken and not afraid to speak up about how he feels, certainly does not believe in the saying that "customers are always right"

frankly isn't the best barista out there (before this job, he didn't even know how to make 3-in-1 coffee lol) but he has a way with his words so customers often come back for more

misunderstood bad boy trope in a nutshell

potential redemption arc in the future as he loses his spoilt brat tendencies and start to come to terms with the loss of his mother

003. WANTED CONNECTIONS

enemies to lovers/enemies to friends: could be someone who thought of him as a spoilt brat at first and started to realise that he wasn't as bad as they thought he was?

a childhood friend: someone he had met when he was a child visiting daegu every holiday but grew apart from when he stopped visiting after his mom's death.

more than friends, less than lovers: is it just harmless banter or are you actually flirting with each other?

opposites attract: you are hardworking, modest and come from humble beginnings, the complete opposite of jiwoong. people who hear that both of you are good friends often ask, "how?"

bad influences/birds of the same feather: you're just like his friends back home who enjoy partying and living on the edge. he's meant to be turning over a new leaf but it's a challenge with you in the picture.

a parental/older sibling figure: someone who tries to guide him onto the right path. the person he turns to whenever he faces a problem.

neighbours: your muse lives in the same neighbourhood as his grandma. could be someone that is close to his grandma and is forced into showing him around or helping him adjust to life in daegu.

regular customers at lapis roasters: you can always expect a free upsize or a free cookie whenever you pop by.

flirtationships: doesn't have to be anything serious. you're pretty to look at and he's born with a glib tongue so he has to let you know.

#sunsetintro

[zero-braincells-left]

hey zero!!! I just wanted to check in

are you doing alright? I've seen a couple of your posts recently and you seemed unwell (mentally) so I just wanted to make sure you are alright!

- (starting today) daily check in anon! 🩵

i mean ive been doing pretty good?? tbh whevener I post stuff I forget about it like ten minutes later most of the time so im assuming ur talking abt whatever it was when I wasn’t feeling great abt going back to school n shit and. it’s just like that every weekend ig

if you had a specific thing in mind that I’ve mentioned then uhhh?? ask I guess

venting adjacent?? not gonna tag this as a vent tho it’s more just me typing a lot

i don’t really post abt any actual problems i have which the main things rn ig are just

-friend I really care about has been calling me weird and really annoying more and more often (as i mentioned a few times here before it’s just like. being annoying is the only way i can show affection but it is uhhhh not effective with most people)

-haven’t been outright called annoying but feel like im being annoying and clingy to one of my friends and. I feel like he doesn’t like it when I hang out with him . the fact that i have a crush on him is not helping me in the slightest

-my old friend group is still an issue but I think it’s been bothering me less?? i mean it’s still gonna suck for a while. it sucks whenever i look at the messages they sent that I was not meant to see, and it sucks when i see my friends at school or even just do something that makes me think abt them like “oh. last time I went to the mall it was with them” and stuff. made a post on like November 30 I think abt just… this month and how. huh. the 8th was supposed to be our one year anniversary of being friends, which we only tracked because of when our discord server was made but. I deleted that and now im not even in the friend group and I wonder what they’re doing . overall yeah this still isn’t great and I know I can’t fix it but it hasn’t been weighing on me too heavily anymore

rlly other than that my problems consist of very small things regarding fandoms lmao but thank you 🩵

#zero answers asks

[futureforged]

  ➤  𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞𝘐𝘕𝘎  𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙  𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘙  𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓  𝘊𝘈𝘕  𝘗𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠   𝘔𝘈𝘒𝘌  𝘞𝘙𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎  𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙  𝘈  𝘓𝘖𝘛  𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘌𝘙 .

◈ 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 ? [ ; ] Sol or Sebastian. Though I prefer Sol if we don’t know eachother well. 🙏

◈ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒 ? [ ; ] They / Them.

◈ 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ? [ ; ] Discord if only because I actually get the response notifs & it’s by far the easiest way to get a hold of me for idle chatting or plotting. I really suck with Tumblr IMs & often don’t check them if I don’t see a notification. ;(((

I should also mention that as bad as it sounds, I often will not message people first because I have very bad anxiety & I am still working through that issue. Until I get more comfortable with someone I will not actively reach out unless it’s to ask about a plot idea or thread & I know it feels safe to do so, but I HEAVILY encourage poking me to chatter about muses or anything else if there is interest in building up more things between muses as far as lore / history!

I need a bit to warm up to new folks is all, but just knowing the door is always open to talk & that there is genuine interest in a friendship or just casually dropping in for rp things . . . It helps a lot!

◈ 𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 ? [ ; ] Jayce — hands down. It used to be a tie between Squall & Chris. But so far, all three are muses that have come to mean a lot to me & are my most developed of everyone I’ve written.

For Chris & Squall, I’ve poured a ton of time & passion into em over the span of years by this point, but I’m happy to say Jayce is now reaching that point too. I adore this dumbass of a man ( affectionate ) so damned much I know he’s going to stick around with how often I think of him already. Between headcanons, new plot / wishlist, art ideas — he’s already a well adored muse!

◈ 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 / 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 ? [ ; ] I think I started writing around . . . 2019? Ish? I actually got into it because of a Dead By Daylight server for askblogs. They had an rp section & I was shown the ropes there on discord which gradually melded into my old art askblogging experience, now tada here I am, learning more on how to do this whole writing thing today! Either way! Yeahhhh strange place to learn to write, but the initial supportive community aspect of it helped me get over my shyness in writing publicly.

◈ 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ? [ ; ] In recent memory, I’d have to say, just taking a shot with resident evil again. It led me to meet the most amazing group of writers & sparked a love that still hasn’t died for an old series I did grow up with. We’re still talking to this day despite us all flocking to other fandoms, but I adore that our little groups muses will crop up from time to time & we will come together to ramble & gush or spitball ideas like no time has passed.

I get nervous when saying something is good, out of a fear things will sour, but with them? They feel like, not quite a family, but close enough friends that I’m glad to have met them, glad I still have them in my life willing to put up with my late night hyperfixation fuelled rambles & that there does always seem to be the support there to write together no matter the muse or fandom.

They’re good people & honestly without their support in lending me their ears to gush & go off in such a comfortable space, I wouldn’t have lept to give Jayce a try in writing him. I wouldn’t be here & as cheesy as it is, wouldn’t have met any of the amazing people I know now nor met my lovely partner. Good things come from reaching out & building such good bonds & I am very fortunate to have met all those I have during my time writing collaboratively. It’s an experience I’m happy to have had.

◈ 𝐑𝐏 𝐏𝐄𝐓 𝐏𝐄𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐒 ? [ ; ] I guess . . . God where do I even start. It’s mostly all small things? If I’m honest? But thankfully nothing that really gets under my skin too badly. I guess if I had to settle on a specific pet peeve that stands out the most, it’d have to be the rare situations when someone will collect you for a ship, recycle planned plots or ones built up over the span of multiple threads they create with you to then use with others. Stuff that is usually very unique to your dynamic with that writer’s muse.

For me personally, it does come off as insensitive & rude considering I am here to write a story WITH other people. I hate when I pour my heart into developing something new only to get it nabbed & yeeted at someone else without a second thought. It makes me feel replaceable & like any effort I put into trying to make a writing interaction work was for nothing & possibly never appreciated in the first place.

This is an issue for me as I am someone who highly values deep development & story-building with those I write with — I do struggle with plotting so when that muse mesh & plot blooming does happen I’m always beyond thrilled.

◈ 𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅 / 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓 / 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓 ? [ ; ] All three truthfully, but I actually genuinely adore Fluff the most out of this trio. The only issue is too much can get very boring very fast & morph into ‘pointless fluff’ with no direction plot-wise so interactions of that nature usually die out very fast. In the right doses, with the right writing partners? It’s beyond amazing to have & always hits just right! As far as I know all my muses can be lured with something sugary & soft.

For Angst? I am a goblin who adores it so fucking much! If only because again, if done right with the right writing partner who matches your energy, it can definitely lead to some fruitful character development on both ends where it strays far enough from bleeding into pointless suffering just to suffer territory. I am all for angst & dark threads! But too much in excess can depress me majorly, & because of that, I need to know it’s coming well in advance or it can make a muse hide indefinitely.

For Smut / Spice? Hello, hi! I am weak for spice threads with my ships! The only issue again, is I am shitty with writing it unless I am comfortable with the other mun & the ship dynamic is one I’m invested in beforehand. I also lose interest fast unless writing partners show me it’s alright to send spice or nsfw replies back. If you just spam me a bunch of nsfw asks & never reply to threads or talk to me ooc about our ship, I lose interest FAST because again it feels like I am just being collected for writing smut. 💀💀💀

◈ 𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒 / 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒 ? [ ; ] Memes! Easy & fast & it’s like a trial run so we can see just how our muses mesh before digging deep into plotting territory! Plotting territory scares me cause 90% of the time neither of us will have a damn clue where to start first, so it ends in awkward fumbling & a dip in communication.

So . . . both technically, but I’d say once there’s at least three threads going or a few replies in, when we both have a good enough idea of our characters it’s always the best time to start spitballing ideas.

◈ 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 / 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 ? [ ; ] Both! I lean towards long but they admittedly take me forever, so I’ve been trying smaller & shorter stuff a bit more on my end. 💪

From my writing partners? I will never be upset at the length nor do I go into an interaction with set expectations. But I will say,,,, admittedly? I adore when a writing partner gives me a chonker of a reply. Idk I just screech a lot when I get any kind of lengthy response back. 😭

◈ 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 ? [ ; ] Since I am a night owl who stays awake at night to draw ( best time because home is quiet… ) & write? I say . . . Usually between the hours of 11pm - 4am.

◈ 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒 ? [ ; ] I draw a lot from personal experiences to better understand / portray why my muses do / act how they do. As much as I wanna say, even with there being a clear boundary between me & muses, as much as I wanna say no, I guess if I reaaaaaallly had to pick a few things I can see me sharing with all muses I tend to pick up, it’s definitely the grit-teeth optimism, the stubborn spite they carry along with the want to make things better in some way / shape / form.

#➤ ꜰɪʟᴇᴅ ᴀꜱ . . . // dash games. #I filled it out on Chris awhile ago but its helpful to do here as well #longpost tw

[smashalltheguitars]

this is not a call out. this is not a call to action. rbs are fine if you want for whatever reason but please do not tag people or signal boost, this is so i can get everything in the open and people can make their own decisions about hen and about me.

in september, i helped write volcano shake em up. i joined a server for my chemical romance - the gerard way pussy indulgence - and i made fast friends with people i still care about so much it hurts. one of them was Hen.

Hen moderated the gwpi. i liked her. she's smart, funny, confident. i wanted to be her friend. in the early days of the gwpi, i had a brief disagreement with another server member. i literally cannot remember what we disagreed about. it was small and resolved itself quickly, but not before hen messaged me to tell me her thoughts on the situation: that i was in the right, and she liked that i stood up for myself.

this is when i fucked up, and i kept fucking up for a while. i made a group chat. hen, myself, and several others i roped in without really discussing anything. i wanted their approval. i wanted to be in the right. i felt like i was getting a good grade in discord. i had friends for the first time in years.

none of that justifies it. i was cruel, about people i disagreed with, about strangers, about people i called friends to their face. and when the people in the server weren't annoying me, hen and i went looking for other targets. we were never outright insulting to their face, or at least i kept telling myself we weren't - just little things, jumping into arguments to defend each other, venting privately to let off steam, and of course saying unbelievably vile things about people who did not deserve it.

as time went on, the group chat started to get used less and less often. hen and i tended to be the ringleaders, and as winter set in and i started struggling more with seasonal depression i was just online less often and muted a lot of servers and chats. slowly it started getting more and more frequent that close friends would message me along the lines of "am i overreacting for being upset, or was hen really rude in the server." it was always small things, a meme she didn't like had to be spoilered, someone's special interest was insulted, she was snappy and dismissive about a conversation she joined in the middle of. it was always small things, like she was just having a bad day or upset at something unrelated, and i hoped she was doing okay.

what was, for me, the first thing that was big enough for me to talk to her about how she was acting, happened when we were goofing off in gwpi. hen came online in the middle of it, immediately told us to stop, threatened to delete the server, and left quickly - leaving a brief wake of other people, people who were usually inactive in gwpi, who agreed with her and told us off.

it felt VERY familiar, and it made all the small things feel just as familiar. i just hadn't been on that side of it before. i thought to check a different server, one i'd had muted, and sure enough, we were now the ones being vented about. once i spoke up in that thread, i got heartfelt apologies from most people in that server. one person in particular took steps to reach out, work with the server mod, add new rules, and lock the thread since it was breeding such negativity. i am not a forgiving person and apologies mean almost nothing to me; their actions made me think that could change.

hen apologized for forgetting i was in the server she was venting to. she said nothing about what was said to my face or behind my back.

to be blunt, i let that resolve too quickly. i did self-reflect long enough to admit i was being a hypocrite for asking for kindness and to leave the old group chat, but i had trusted hen and considered her one of my favorite people, despite everything. i was still deep in a mental health episode, had just lost someone i considered a close friend, and didn't feel like i could handle losing another. again that does not justify it. i refused to do what i had just demanded of others. i stood by and did what was easiest instead of what was right, and i said it would all be okay and did nothing about the rest of the server members she had been hurting.

i thought everything had been resolved, even if i was not happy with the resolution, until back in that same server she had been venting to. in the middle of a conversation, hen made a joke about changing the name of gwpi 'to see how long it would take them to notice,' with the followup of, verbatim, "Why get a discord full of people if not to perform experiments on them." up to this point, however she acted behind our backs, she had still claimed the gwpi members as her friends; additionally, being watched, experimented on, or gaslit like that can very easily be a psychosis or paranoia trigger. hen knew that that is something i (and a few others in the server) struggle with, as i had previously trusted her to the point of letting her know i was having a psychotic episode and asking her to sit on voice call with me until i could ground myself. that is a HUGE act of trust.

the response i got when i expressed why i was not okay with this, after several instances of 'it was a joke,' was "I’m sorry that you took it that way but I would personally not be offended if someone said that about a group I was a part of." again, verbatim. that conversation ended unresolved and a few days later, she left every server we share with very little warning. i wished her as well as i could bring myself to and tried to move on with my life and hopefully do better going forward. that was the last i had heard from or about her until this afternoon when paramoreworld's post came to light and showed that apparently the pattern is continuing.

i don't have a real reason for posting this except that i am tired of dealing with it in fragments. this is only what i was personally involved in, it says nothing about what other people have dealt with from either or both of us, but at least now it's in one place.