#okay see you all around and take care.

[lyon-beast-king]

#have this with no context #okay see you all around and take care. #dont be shy send me stuff etc

[spacedace]

Had a thought about the Reluctant War and made myself a bit sad and I have no idea if it'll make it into the story proper so I'm going to inflict it upon all you guys:

Dick Grayson on the streets of Gotham trying to do everything he can to help as everyone join the ghosts in fighting the GIW, suddenly has a version of the GAV barreling down towards him and for some reason he can't get out of the way in time.

He thinks he's about to join the army of the dead in a whole new way, when the tank fo a vehicle is suddenly sent flying as something massive charged it from the side. He hears a familiar bellowing and then realizes that it's Zitka, a ghost after passing away peacefully a few years before.

She wasn't apart of the army of the ghosts, wasn't brought in to fight. She's just been following her tiny human child around all these years and now that there's enough ecto in the air to do so, she's going to protect him with all her might.

Dick is emotional, so thankful to have his old friend back, but the city is still in a state of chaos. He gets onto Zitka's back and they get to work, running - flying - around helping to grab the injured and whisk them away to safety or take out other GAVs and the like.

It's absurd and freeing and wonderful all at once to be literally flying through the skies of Gotham on the ghost of his elephant best friend, and if Dick wasn't already on the side of King Phantom he is *now* and -

He gets shot off Zitka's back.

A GIW agent was aiming for the Ghost elephant but somehow *missed* and hit Dick instead. Not enough to injure him too badly, but enough to send him flying off Zitka's back and plummeting to the ground. His grapple is broken, and Zitka is diving for him but she's being shot at and she's not going to make it in time and -

A hand, reaching out to him in midair, familiar with its callouses and strong grip as he reaches out and grasps it, body suddenly swinging in a different direction and muscles acting on memory as he falls into the old, achingly familiar routine of his childhood. His mother, ethereal and bright as she smiles down at him, hanging upside down from a bar suspended from nothing but open sky as they swing and he is let go, flipping on instinct and caught by the steady strong hands of his father.

The Flying Graysons reunited in the skies above Gotham, Dick's ghostly parents determined to ensure their little bird never falls the way they did.

#dpxdc #dc x dp #dp x dc #dick grayson #zitka the elephant #the flying graysons #the reluctant war #reluctant war au #i'm just really in my feels this morning about Dick reuniting with his dead family members #lile they're there because they always have been there watching over him #now he's just able to see and interact with them #and don't even get me started about Thomas and Martha Wayne running around helping Alfred and their grandkids #Alfred getting cornered and out of ammo just for someone to shoot off a GIW agent's head with a shotgun and he turns to see martha there #One of the kids gets injured and a ghost with an old fashioned doctor's bag drops down and takes care of them #and he looks so *familiar* that in their out of sorts state the batkid thinks it's Bruce #and Thomas just pats them gently and says: close chum. you can call me grandpa if you like #I'M HAVING A LOT OF FEELINGS THIS MORNING ABOUT ALL OF THIS OKAY 😭😭😭

[icewindandboringhorror]

I have a big google doc thing where I keep track of media and stuff (putting everything in loosely ranked categories), which is mostly just for my own reference so I know what tv shows I've already seen before, etc. and I never really look back through it, typically just a quick "okay, watched two movie in the past 8 months, need to quickly slap them somewhere in the lists. okay. done. save document. exit". But today I was actually reading through some of the old notes and there are like... MULTIPLE places where my comment is basically "It would have been good if it were about elves" or "I wish there was a fantasy show made in this same style" or "It's well made, but I just keep thinking about how I would like it more if everyone was an elf or was in old 1700s costumes" or etc like...... lol.... Most biased media ranking system on earth blatantly made by someone with an extremely hyperspecific range of narrow interests. It'd be like if a food reviewer only had 5 foods they actually liked, so they'd just go to a pizza place and be like "eh, the pizza was okay, but I just think it would be better if it was cereal instead. :/ ...2 out of 10"

#Which.. I mean... I am allowed to be biased because literally it's just for my own personal reference (or occasionall #y to send to friends or something if we're discussing the topic) so like.. nowhere am I saying 'I am the god of perfect taste and these #rankings are objectively the absolute truth and everyone should have my same opinion' or anything #BUT still.. it's funny to me sometimes #'Succession would be 100x better if it had the same cast/character quirks and shaky camera style and #acting choices/weird dialogue and general concept etc. EXCEPT it takes place within an elven noble family or something #managing the family business and everyone is in fantasy costumes now'' like.....okay...... but it's NOT that way..soo... thats not the show #''I like the acting style/general tone of Fleabag but i don't care for any of the characters or any of the subject matter and I wish it was #set in the 1800s and had vampires and was about magic instead'' okay..... again... you are making up an entirely new show in that case lol #OR my other beloved typical complaint ''The concept is good but theres too much plot and action and not enough people just sitting #around doing nothing and exposition dumping world and character lore'' ''this needs more goofy sideplots and filler episodes'' #''this Drama was too dramatic I think it should be more lighthearted & people need to sit around doing nothing just being weird more often' #''the Action Movie was ok except for the action scenes - which I skipped through all of- but I liked the costumes and worldbuilding'' etc. #ERM sorry your plot has too much plot. also elves have to be included somehow. bye #BUT SERIOUSLY!!!!!! I literally genuinely believe that any show I like (or even dislike) could ALWAYS be improved greatly by #putting people in fantasy or historical costume/setting/etc... why the FUNK would I want to see bland jeans and cars and cell phones #when I could see elaborate velvet cloaks and fantastical landscapes and interior design and innovative takes on historical or #magical technology or etc. etc. etc. I LIVE in the modern day. I see it all the time!!! BORING! stinky!! boo!!! #ANYWAY... another social divide for me.. People love to bond by discussing media. which is hard when I'm like #'I literally will not watch something at all unless it fits into one of these 10 extremely specific categories which are all i care about i #the entire world''.. I say this and yet I still dislike most fantasy or historical things I've watched lol. ok TWO main criteria then!! #it must 1. be in a different world or time period. 2. be goofy silly. Nothing ever has BOTH. It's always overly serious boring drama action #fantasy/history stuff OR it's comedic lighthearted but with modern day characters... WHY.. anguish and woe and so on.. #ANYWAY jhjnk... at least I can make that divide. Some people seem to project their own personal preferences and get really emotionally #defensive if you say you didn't like something - as if the fact that they DO like it is some Objective Truth or something rather than just #opinion/preference based. I can still easily say ''this is well made/well written/acted/good in a technical sense/has a lot of #points of appeal that most people would be drawn to/etc'' and admit that it's a GOOD show probably. I just PERSONALLY think its #bad because my tastes are very narrow. Some things ARE actually made badly but. things are not bad INHERENTLY just bc they dont suit ME lol #Better to recognize/accept whats odd about you and be peacefully aware of it than just being mad at everyone all the time for not fully #agreeing with you even when you're the one with the Weird opinion in that case lol.. I am right though :3 but.. lol... still. i get it

[lecliss]

The choice from Sunday is kinda weird cuz the options are build a cage in the house for the bird or build a nest where it fell and one leads to the bird growing up but dying once its set free and the other one probably leads to it dying much sooner. They both feel like the same option and even tho obviously the most kind, caring, morally right thing to do is keep it inside so at least it lives longer even if it's in a cage. But like to me both options suck and are basically nothing cuz I'm sorry if I look like a bad person for this, but I'm not sorry, but I'm not fuckin touching a wild animal. Even if I knew it was there even if I bothered to check out the sound to find a bird, which I wouldn't, I'm not touching it. I'm not even getting close enough to find out it's too young to fly yet. Whatever happens to it happens man and I'll never know what happens to it cuz I'm not even gonna look at it. Like, where's the 'you seem like an asshole but really it's quite a normal choice' in this whole trial thing??? That's usually an option you can pick. Sunday!!! Sunday, listen!!! There are more than two choices!!! You don't have to always do something!!!! You can just walk away!!! You don't have to try to do something for everyone all the time!!! Think about yourself sometimes!!! It's not selfish I promise!!! SUNDAY!!! OH MY GOD HIS WINGS ARE COVERING HIS EARS HE CANT HEAR US!!!!

#i genuinely dont wanna pick anything #like okay. i know they dont have animal control or a shelter in this setting. but irl genuinely just call some people and see if theyll take #it if you wanna do something about it. #you are not getting my ass to touch a wild animal of any kind. i dont care what the situation is #i was asked once if i could help take care of some baby mice a friend accidentally ruined the nest of and a shelter wouldnt take them #and i was like. im sorry but no cuz i know for a fact im not equipped to handle something like that and i dont wanna touch wild mice and #i KNOW at least some of them will die and i wanna now have to deal with dead mice. and you know what happened? #the friend couldnt keep up with how often they needed to be fed and they died. and now you have dead mice. #something could have happened where they survived outside like the mom came back and fixed it maybe or at least one fended for itself #like its a shame the nest accidentally got ruined but it was an accident and things like that happen all the time #yes its an accident you caused but in the case of something like that i really dont think its suddenly your responsibility now #and i know itll make you feel better to try to make up for it but now you have dead mice #and i know for some people at least trying to help makes them feel better but now we're at the point where i just dont understand #i just cant comprehend the feeling or the idea or the thought. #so its like. i get sunday feels like he HAS to do something for everyone all the time but its genuinely turning him into a monster and he #cant see that. like trying all the time despite getting nothing done will tear you apart. let yourself rest #do the small things you can do around you. dont put the weight of everything on you all the time otherwise you wont get anything done #and youll start thinking not doing anything isnt even an option anymore #i promise its okay. take a break. #im not even referring to sunday anymore. you 🫵 its okay. take a break. make yourself feel better #then come back to things with a clearer calmer mind and do the small things you know you can do #dont force yourself to do everything because you feel like you have to. itll be okay. i promise #hsr 2.2 spoilers #hsr spoilers #oh right this is a spoiler post ifnfjfnfk #long post

[monkee-mobile]

Do you think Davybaby ever regressed before meeting/joining the Monkees? Either in England or after moving to America

And if so how do you think he dealt with it?

I feel like he did but to a different level. he probably never really OFFICIALLY regressed and was really of seen as a little one during it until he came to the states, but when he was particularly stressed out while still in england he’d often go into a kind of weak state if his defenses were really down, he just didn’t process it through really regressing like he would later on. in england, he’d try his absolute hardest not to have that happen. he’d just feel really small and vulnerable and had no one there to protect him or help him through it except his sisters, but they didn’t jump right to babying him, they’d more just help him through the panic attack part of it all. usually he’d just lock himself in his room if he couldn’t brave through it and curl in on himself and sob until he fell asleep (poor thing). he’d often start sucking his thumb, but he just took that as a “weak” behavior that was just coming back from his childhood. He’d also often go pretty nonverbal for a while afterwards but he’d push through it all and move on (which definitely wasn’t the best for him, but it got him through that time. poor little guy didn’t face his own emotions at all). this kind of shutdown didn’t happen all that often cause davy worked hard to build a tough shell and braved it through all the way to when he moved to america and got out of the pressures of his family.

the move really did break him down because suddenly he was alone in a strange country so when the boys first met him he was definitely flighty and not the suave kind of guy he got to be once he became more comfortable, but they were all new to each other so davy didn’t really have a chance to feel super safe to just let himself feel things so he kept up the hard exterior he had built at first. but of course the monkees became very comfortable with each other and basically climb all over each other at all moments so davy started going “feral toddler mode” a lot where he would just go all silly and giggly and playful, so his comfort came through in a relatively childlike way, but he didn’t panic regress until a while after the guys were a group.

but eventually it happens and davy breaks down really hard at some point. it’s the boys who really start babying him when it happens. in the past he didn’t have anyone to really take care of him but things kind of clicked when he was held and talked to softly and he just sunk into the love that was given to him and it helped him process everything anew.

#the monkees #davy jones #davybaby #asks #i didn’t really go into specific incidents because i don’t really have official headcanon laid out for him #but this is how i see his regression at this point #the other monkees just saw poor davy with tears down his face and wide frightened eyes and his thumb in his mouth trying to hold it all in #and just wanted to hold him #mike definitely swooped right in and got all protective #and davy was surprised at first that being held and rocked and talked to in a soft voice would make him feel so much better #but it did #and he kind of got to reprocess how he experienced emotions as a whole #and start from the ground up in a lot of ways like a kid would learn #and he got to do that with the help of his friends who definitely ask him how he’s feeling in simple terms a lot when he’s little #but he’s safe and happy now and that’s what matters to mike #it definitely makes mike feel secure too because he has someone to take care of and know that he can make everything alright for davy #so it really breaks mike’s heart when davy is crying because he just wants to set everything alright #davy again is often ‘childlike’ when he’s happy too. it’s not necessarily the same as his panic regression or is brought upon in the same wa #way #but he’s kind of just a little guy all around so all emotions come out with him all little. it just lets him feel safe and like he’s not to #not to blame for everything #because he probably had a lot of pressure to be perfect on him (see his grandfather) #but now he doesn’t have to be PERFECT he just has to be davy #and he’s still worthy of love and respect #okay i didn’t expect to put so much in the tags lol #thank you for the ask!!!

[quietwingsinthesky]

the amount of time i spend thinking about Even carrying the metacrisis doctor’s fob watch is really quite disproportionate to how much ive fleshed out that part of the story in my head

#i still find myself not caring if the metacrisis doctor couldnt use one. he can because i said so and because donna shouldn’t get amnesiaed #alone. #but anyway. even. its just something about like. #here is your best friend. the man who showed you how big the universe could be. its still him human or not. its still the doctor. #can’t call him that. have to watch your tongue always because no matter how familiar their faces are. these two people do not remember #everything you did together and never can. at least they still love each other. nothing could change that. that’s what matters. you steer #them into each other’s lives so carefully and watch to see if they’re going to get hurt. but they don’t. it’s okay. #and still. and still. you carry your best friend’s life. everything that he is. you can hold it in the palm of your hand. he gave it to you. #he entrusted it to you. well. that’s not entirely true. technically you volunteered. but how else could you say thank you. #you made your world so so small again. for him. larger than you would’ve been used to once but you know what galaxies feel like to fly #across. and now you’re stuck in time and space. this is for love too. this is for the life you hold in your hands. #or wear around your neck on a chain. and because you chose this. you can never see him again. or you see him every day and he doesn’t #recognize all of you. #that would make anyone desperate wouldn’t it? make you do something stupid. make you turn to someone you shouldn’t. #even makes bad choices when they are cornered. i think. #dw oc #the important bit is of course that the only way they can ever get rid of it is by their own choice. which they never would choose to do. #(because tentoo won’t take it back. he’s his own person. impressions of the doctor influencing him. but the part of him that is donna doing #so as well. a whole new person. who does not want her memories back and to be unmade.) #but the point is that the moment even takes it. they will never let it go. they will lose it. on painful occasion. but it always finds its #way back. depending on the context this presence and responsibility is either comforting in its constancy. #or. in a less kind world. a horrifying reminder of how far they have fallen from who they tried to be for him.

[anaalnathrakhs]

btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.

#i know there are compromises out there #and i'm not going to live w them my whole life so i'll be out fairly soon all things considered #and i'm trying to be understanding when people's priorities aren't the same as mine #but i uh. would be lying if i said it doesn't hurt a little wittle bit. #i'm gonna keep handling it because i've been an asshole to my parents for long enough #i largely owe them that. cooperating and spending time with them and engaging in what matters to them. #but then she's says things like ''but whenever you move out you'll still be part of the family and invited if you want uwu'' #it's just ?????? okay thanks ???? perhaps you could also try seeing things from my point of view perhaps???? #it's all circling back to that. they have a very weird way to ''help'' me #throwback to them trying to cure my depression with amusement parks #when i would have liked a little less of that and a little more help and understanding #it feels like they're trying to put bandaids on a cancer #''you don't ask for help'' okay no help is coming. i am not being helped. #the system can't help me cause there's no damn beds no damn professionals no damn time to help everyone #the people around me can't help me because it's not their job or within their wheelhouse to help me #and they've got their own shit to deal with #on that note #i was discussing stuff with my mom #and i mentionned it was indeed pretty difficult to manage your time when you had to deal with school and friends and your parents #and she was like ''deal with your parents???? what do you have to deal with????'' #oh i don't KNOW maybe that i'm officially an associate of my dad and i have to help out w events and some accounting #or maybe i have to pay back the fucking years i spent being an ungrateful child now i do everything you expect me to and it's exhausting #maybe that you constantly remind me i am living in YOUR house by touching my shit instead of letting me deal with shit at my own pace #maybe the fact that despite everything i care about you and i want us to have a good relationship and that takes WORK and i'm exhausted #maybe the fact that you keep giving me advice that is unproductive misguided misunderstanding etc etc #and cold comfort after you did something you knew to be difficult for me #how you keep encouraging shit that i don't want and am unhappy with because it's the ''normal'' way #how you raised me from childhood to be an empty shell in a family of empty shells #broadcasting my misery #vent

[silverformymonsters]

.

#Hi all! I'm alive! #Life just got pretty busy recently but in a good way! :D #with the holiday break coming in I will definitely come back to mess around on Tubmblr again #I hope everyone is doing okay! Take care everyone and see you around :3

[devilbrakers]

okay jasper brainrot again

#i need to replay soon but i can't stop thinking abt how felix and mason are like. the first people that jasper ever feels truly #comfortable around. i think it probably comes first and easier with felix given his personality and jasper just feels really drawn towards #it. knowing there's something 'off' abt all of them from the beginning but hardly ever feeling human themselves so taking it in stride and #enjoying it above all bc it makes them feel more at ease #and the situationship with mason. they care soooo deeply about him but don't rly fall in love with him until a little later on than the #books describe. they see him as a friend first and just find his personality (beyond the prickliness) so refreshing and comforting bc he rl #doesn't care what the others think and just kinda deals with everything as it comes and doesn't bother trying to live in denial #just him being like “yeah okay. i love you.” and it not being a super big conflicting ordeal is really touching to them despite their own #inner conflict #idk!!! just ub being their found family (despite probably never truly repairing their relationship with rebecca) makes me so :') #i wrote wayyy more than i intended jfkdslfj i forgot how much they mean to me 😭

[unusualshrimp]

boys will be like "i can't do anything and im a worthless girlfailure" meanwhile they have 2 jobs, are renting a spacious flat, have a cat, live in a pretty hill place all alone with zero financial help from anyone else, cut off toxic parents, are slowly collecting beautiful room decor, dropped out of a degree they hate, pursuing things they actually wanna do, damn this list is longer than i even assumed at the start of the post love and light

#just thought about this... i always focus so hard on the little failures. LIKE GIRL. LOOK AROUND YOU #i got myself here!! i worked my ass off at an internship! i got a freelancing gig AND a job #and i moved out all alone to a place i've never lived before and i wake up to see clouds stuck on hills every day #sometimes the clouds even get into my house. ACTUAL CLOUDS #i have a lovely cat that is so so sweet and affectionate and i take care of her!! im alive! #so what if executive dysfunction gets me into serious trouble sometimes. #so what if sometimes people i never expected to live without still leave me. #that sucks but it's NOTHING compared to what i've accomplished and how far i've come in just this past year!!! okay!! #i needed to make this post. i will look at it when i feel like shit again #saved posts

[bumblingbabooshka]

Worst Guy Ever - Also, Unfortunately, Very Homosexual Convo. (subtextually)

#Evidence of Tom being a bad boyfriend is also in a file labeled 'Tom wants to fuck Steth so bad' #but seriously I wanted to deck him in this convo v_v FORTUNATELY it is bearable bc I think that's the point - like the narrative is #showing that Tom is 'ruining what he's worked for' by being a dick to B'Elanna so I'm not like meta-mad about it (like OTHER Tom/B'Elanna #moments) <- Ex: Tom saying 'I have a beautiful girlfriend' instead of something like #'someone I care about/a girl I love' but that's a like...tv writing thing. I don't like it but I know it's a tv writing thing #Woman as like a status symbol instead of a person you care about #I never care about Tom's inner conflict in Tom episodes (with the exception of the one where he gets thrown in solitary - him going full #rogue was fun) bc his inner conflict is always the most boomer bullshit #Literally he's just having a midlife crisis in this one. #BUT...GUYS....IMPORTANT NEWS...BULLDOG'S IN THIS ONE?? #BULLDOG ?? My enemy BULLDOG BRISCOE from Frasier??? Good to see you man! This makes sense. #Steth....WHY would you choose to turn into a guy with a detailed and established web of interconnected relationships on a ship with a #complex hierarchy? Steth really thought he'd be able to play it cool on VOYAGER...the USS codependent...nu uh #they sniff you out and maul you like gophers on that baby #EHHEHEEH the Emh is funny as hell...'WOW...I had no idea me being so perfect at everything was making you feel bad! It all makes sense to #me now...' / Steth(as Tom):....Yeah v_v #SNRKEHEHEHEHEHEH GUYS..I'm taking a mental health day so I can reflect on myself and how even though I'll never be as good as the Doctor #I'm probably still worth SOMETHING #Steth(as Tom): Hey now B'Elanna...let's not go around blaming Steth for things. He's a pretty cool guy actually. #Okay yes confirmed! The above convo is also to show that Steth is 'being better' than Tom by telling B'Elanna what she wants to hear #unfortunately this does not make me like Tom more #SHE WANTS SO LITTLE. SHE ASKS FOR SO LITTLE. #BC Tom DOES say that B'Elanna is 'overreacting' and basically calls her crazy even when it's not for a later moral lesson and #this isn't framed as bad by the narrative. If your girl's always mad at you then your relationship ISN'T good. #There's literally NO resolution once again to their relationship issues. Tom shows her his garage program and when B'Elanna says she feels #she doesn't value her he says 'Yeah I do.' episode ends. #T/B scenes are literally [conflict arises then they argue or kiss] <- it is never...RESOLVED... #Me @ The Writers: (B'Elanna voice) Is this your idea of an adult conversation? #OH. Gay subtext: I hate spending time with my girl I want to hang out and live the bachelor life with my cool guy friend. #Tom's grease monkey program might as well be a subscription to playgirl magazine sit DOWN dude

[gideonisms]

it's really irritating and difficult to live my life sometimes and for what? not striving to accomplish any huge goals here but the tiny ones, are also excruciating,

#why couldn't i have been born with a fixation that makes me incredible at math or computer science #then i could at least keep the money rolling in #who cares if you eat dinner at 1 am or struggle through basic decisions and interactions if you've got that cash money. #then you're just eccentric #there's like whole social & economic theories devoted to this i'm aware #but sometimes it's like. okay i understand that socially we have decided to do things earlier in the day not my fault for hating that #but i also would like to see the sun. i would like to visit coffee shops and take pleasant strolls and have friends in my area #and do little tasks and contribute in some way to my society #and i would like to do all of this without playing 5d chess to work around the whole way that i am #i have projects of my own you know! and then i'll do one social thing and just be like a zombie the rest of the day #i forgot to get a working microwave today. how do you forget to solve the same problem you've been having for a week and a half again #what? it's just empty space in there #sometimes it strikes you eating dinner at 1 am that maybe you are the messy bitch #self love through the other or something

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by

#bc like. i'm getting by just fine. i don't have anything to be reasonably worried about #but also when i was a kid my father would break down my mother's paycheck and basically explain how broke we were #and that May Have Affected Me Somewhat #as well as just. the way you consistently see the advice to just save! don't get takeout! necessities! and i'm not intent on living like #a monk nor am i intent on being on that grindset for financial gain #it's like i don't intrinsically care but i have so many messages given to me about how i need to care a lot and it puts me in a weird spot #i am simultaneously standing still and moving at mach speeds #i mean right now i just need a safety net while in between jobs; after that i need to save up to move out of state bc the uh #political situation and upcoming presidential election don't seem very sustainable for someone like me anymore #they weren't to begin with but i don't wanna stick around to see how bad it's gonna get #but it's like. okay and then what? save for what? going back to school i guess? idk #i feel like i keep asking myself what i'm trying to accomplish and keep trying to force myself to have answers #here and now when i have to be okay with taking things one step at a time instead of having everything here and now #it's simultaneously fine and terrible and i am holding two conflicting yet equal truths #i feel i may have a clearer head once i leave my current job. i'm trying to look but nothing feels appealing given how #burnt out i already feel. i dread going back into my workplace and i fear it's showing to the patients and i don't want that #i want a month off to rediscover who i am as a person outside of getting yelled at in retail and then pick something back up #could be feasible. genuinely could be. i need to sort out the health insurance aspect but. that's lowkey the plan? #to construct a financial safety net and then slam on the breaks for a while; see if i can strike up a deal with the staff about me #coming in for specific tasks bc we already know i'm quick and efficient with the inventory so i do have a little leverage #you know what. this is getting some of it off my chest and i'm starting to feel confident again lmao #i won't be doing weekends starting either next week or the week after so that's a start! i just think i want everything done right now #bc i'm afraid i won't have the chance again but i will. i definitely will #i just need to let myself get to that point; it's just the immense drain from the register work and the Everything that comes with retail #also having to accept that it's okay to leave this; there's not something wrong with me like. ''not being able to handle it'' or w/e #no mindfulness or detachment could've saved me; it was shit and i'm hitting the bricks and that's all there is to it #i've been thinking a lot about it all lately bc it's what's most prominent in my life rn of course #idk. pondering. introspecting. as i am wont to do #anyways if you've read all this you're a real mvp and i am kissing you on the hand #shai speaks

[bylertruther]

the brainrot is so bad that i'm sitting here trying to watch the godfather just thinking to myself "damn..... how can i make a byIer au outta dis... 🤔📝"

#karen's actress is italian... maybe karen is too... she's a civilian but mike gets roped into it bc ted is more involved as an accountant. #her family loves him and ted loves money and being able to provide for his family and all that Macho Family Man^tm stuff and #sure karen wants mike to do big things—bigger than just messing around with his friends—but she isn't sure that having him get #chummy with her family is the right idea. mike does it anyway bc it's what he's Supposed To Do and he's Getting Older and karen #thinks well... okay... if this is what you want... ❤️ and mike just nods and agrees like he always does bc thts easier than speaking up #or trying to figure out what the hell to do after uni and Much less scary than working on that book he's been working on since forever. #will's a civilian ofc he gets brought along to mike's family things bc mike wants the company but he doesn't Like that world and the #way they look at him. whenever lonnie used to get fired from whatever job he was working at then he'd end up doing ''favors'' #for one of the other families and even though will's nothing like his father and he and his brother and his mom aren't even remotely #involved in that kind of life he still has his last name and it's a brand tht sticks. smth smth the romeo n juliet vibes of it all.... #in this au maybe hopper hasn't been reformed bc there's no tragedy to pull him out of that so maybe he's on the wheelers' payroll #and he has a daughter tht they want to introduce to mike... smth smth mike going to will's apartment in the dead of night to get #patched up.. smth smth mike taking el to things instead of will.. smth smth will and mike getting into A Big Fight bc will doesn't #want to see mike continue to get hurt or lose himself in this world and become this person that he doesn't even recognize anymore #and mike starts goading him like oh why do you care so much huh blahblah and they've been dancing around this all their lives #but it finally comes out and it doesn't fix anything bc will doesn't want This mike and mike can't stand the way will looks at him now and #will storms out after having said the unspeakable.. goes somewhere and gets caught in the crossfire.. cue the body pulled from the quarry #parallel when el calls him immediately after she finds out from hopper and there's a horrible few hours where they don't kno if will's #gonna pull thru. he does ofc much to their surprise.. wake up calls n apologies are eventually had... hurt/comfort ensues.. mike talks #to karen and opens up for the first time ever bc they've gotten closer now.. smth smth um . gay people 🫶 #mike in suits n gloves + will learning to not ask questions + el seeing tht will's apartment looks more like it's will-And-mike's #apartment bc there's so much of him and his things there and he always walks in n moves around like he owns the place + #will's hands shaking as he tries to tend to mike and he manages to keep it together until mike's all patched up but when he turns around #to clean up his shoulders are shaking and mike jus comes up behind him n hugs him through it bc he knows this hurts will more than it hurts #him (which is saying smth bc mike's blood is literally all over will's hands n dinner table rn so like) #SOOOOO self-indulgent but idc im free . (<- said thru gritted teeth and while closing my eyes so i don't have 2 look at this post) #also i say brainrot but i think tht has bad connotations now. i am just an Enjoyer a Lover a Scholar an Enthusiast one might even say.. #mine

[bewby]

when you get blocked by him even tgough you guys barely even talk anymore but the last time you talked which was about a week ago you actually had a nice and healthy conversation and you had alot of love for eachother and it seemed amazing 😂😂😍😍😍😍 no i'm definitely not fucking crying Lol

#it has been 3 years and i'm still here crying over this #well technically it has been about 1 year but also not really. i mean. we stopped talking around december ir smth last year #so it makes sense that this wound is still pretty fresh and will take some time to heal but i'm like. hahhaha #he's still my best friend and this really makes me sad #because i really love him and we even hung out together on genshin for some time #and we sent eachother really nice messages and i told him he xan always come to me no matter what and that i'm always here for him #and that if he's ever in a crisis he can even come see me he doesn't even have to ask #and now i'm blocked. hshdjckdjdhjf #i mean why am i surprised. he has every right to. and i'm his ex . and he likes someone else now #but it still really hurts because i wish i could be a better friend to him at least. but i can't talk to anyone these days #but especially with him it hurts so much because i actually know him so so well and it hurts so much more . like. we know eachother since #i was like. 16 and he was 18. it's insane!!!!!! we share a fucking birthday!!!!! i wanna die!!!!!! #i need to accept that it's over since like years but you can't just do that when you really love someone and care for them #haha . this really sucks alot #i know i need to just move along and i try i do but i will never stop having love for him even if it's just platonic it's so deep like wow #i donmt even know how to explain it and my love for him took over my entire life for years to the point where i turned into an absolute #nobody and it worried him so much too so obviously it makes sense that this takes some time . but God ahhahahshshshahah. ahhahahshsah #i feel so sad and i'm allowed to feel sad . but wjen i feel sad it feels like i'm fucking dying #wow. okay i'll stop now #he has every right to block me but he's my best friend so it hurts. that's all

[fingertipsmp3]

I’m not sure if the seasonal depression is hitting especially hard this year or if I’m just grieving for Mabel or if I’m finally going irreparably insane or if life/people is being unfair towards me or all of the above

#i cry super hard every day now. sometimes multiple times a day #sometimes something sets it off specifically (like arguing with my mom earlier) #but sometimes i just think about mabel too much and start sobbing #i thought i was okay. i mean i knew i wasn’t okay but i knew time would do its thing #the first few weeks were the worst but earlier this month i felt like i’d kind of plateau’d #like i was still sad but i could look at photos and videos and talk about her without crying. i was even laughing #now… now i can’t even think of her. again #it just feels so fucking unfair that i’ll NEVER see her again. like what the fuck do you mean. what do you MEAN #what do you mean i have to live out my whole life… god knows how fucking long i’ll live; and N E V E R see her again. shut the fuck up. #that’s so fucking unfair. and everyone else is okay. i’m like how can you POSSIBLY just go about your life #the best dog in the world is dead and she’s going to stay dead and i won’t see her again for however many fucking stupid cursed decades #i live and i might not even see her when i die. how the HELL am i supposed to be okay with that. is that a joke #and there’s a part of me that’s like ‘maybe i could adopt another dog’ but i don’t know #i think i’d feel better and worse at the same time. i wouldn’t feel so alone but they wouldn’t be mabel #i put in an application for a terrier that’s at a local rescue but if i don’t get him i’m not trying again. i’ll take it as a hint #cats aren’t an option btw i found out i’m allergic. which was brand new information.. i’ve been around cats that didn’t set my allergies #off at all. but i guess there’s a difference between spending an hour at your friend’s house who has one cat #and living 24/7 with a cat that gets fur and dander and saliva everywhere #and i don’t think other pets would suit me. i just don’t feel comfortable caring for any animal i haven’t done research on #i had hamsters when i was a teenager but… tbh never again. they are so much fun but i have anxiety dreams about them now #so it’s dogs (well.. one dog) or nothing #i do have plans to speak to my doctor about my depression btw because i genuinely find this unsustainable #like i do think it’s situational (seasonal/grief/everyone around me seeming to want to argue with me lately) but i still need #mood stabilisers while i’m in this situation lol #personal