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dontlikeadam · 2 days

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Being Funny in a Foreign Language

This is going to be BRUTAL. This is so much harder, because his writing style is completely different and his type of references are typically not my forte.

He also does not have a long history of leaving easter eggs in songs in order for people to make connections, so it's a completely different vibe to interpret. This is sort of assuming Matty is writing and referencing, similar to Taylors style, which is most likely NOT the case.

Same concept as Taylor's writing in that they are generally saying a lot AND absolutely nothing.

Essentially, just me quadruple checking lyrics for Taylor connections. Don't come for me, but please add any details you know or remember! Also this is the first time I am ever learning what some of these lyrics are. ENUNCIATE

Lead into this album was that this one was his most earnest.

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The 1975

The album lead up/ preview/ state of the world

"and it's about "Time" And this is what it looks like. I'm sorry about my 20's, I was learning the ropes" - clock references... the matching clock reference with Karma and ATPOAIM. Potentially referencing back to then dating in his 20's. - Early in the tour and after the break-up, he did switch that line to "30's"

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Happiness (2/10)

Could be anyone. Very vague.

"Oh I would go blind just to see you" - Taylor did have a lot of the easter eggs in her "I can see you" music video for the 1975 collaboration, but not sure that timing works.

"I'm never gonna love again" and him saying on tour "yes, you will" Same theme as Taylors Happiness.

Matty maybe referring back to her song "Cowboy Like Me" were she repeats "Im never gonna love again" both him and her say it 4 times in the songs. He then wears a cowboy hat in the music video.

"Show me your love. Why don't you grow up and see?" Referencing the fact he told her he would find her when he grew up.

"You met me at the right time" Always made me think of someone he met when he was older, not Taylor.

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Looking For Somebody to Love (0/10)

Taylor used similar backing track on TTPD for imgonnagetyouback

Overall theme of sort of the incel community and how they have been the ones responsible for numerous mass shootings, especially there for a while.

Also theme of just men acting out inappropriately when just "looking for somebody to love" - which could have been why Taylor used this one.

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Part of The Band

Given all the connections between the Fortnight music video and the Part of The Band music video I thought I would see more in this, but not really anything...

"She was part of the Air Force, I was part of the band" - a reference back to "This must be my dream" - "We can't make love when you fly around me baby?" - A song that very well could be Taylor. (but this is noted to be in his imagination)

"I fell in love with a boy, It was kind of lame" - relating to TTPD's Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus? (but again, noted to be in his imagination)

"Eating stuff off of motorbikes. Cuming to her lookalikes" a popular fan favorite of being Taylor

I have always been thrown off on why his sobriety was noted at the end of the song. It seems like it should relate back to something I am missing about this song....

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Oh Caroline (5/10)

Could be anyone.

A song Matty has always been vague about. But the overall theme of the song matches the situation. He wants to try again with someone, but doesn't want to mess it up.

The music video for Oh Caroline, includes a women who has a very similar aesthetic to Taylor in her video for delicate which always made fans suspicious.

"You've been gone for weeks" reads like only a few weeks, but could relate to literally any amount of time.

"Oh I've tried to find another name thousand times, but the only one that rhymes is "Oh Caroline"" - Leads you to believe Caroline is not the name of the girl. Could also be referring to the trying to find another girl as good as her, a thousand times, but the only one that fits is her. Oh Caroline relating possible to Sweet Caroline, the worlds most American song?

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I'm in Love With You (0/10)

Twigs

"What a call. Movin In. I feel like I loosen my lips" I had no idea that was the lyrics so now I was just intrigued. Seems like maybe he didn't want to live together, but actually preferred it? Maybe more secure?

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Wintering (0/10)

Nothing. Family at the holidays.

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Human Too (1/10)

So vague.

"Considering me looking though you, thinking it was something I used to do. I thought I'd done anger, I though't I'd done shame" Looking back at an old relationship you thought you already grieved?

"Darling, thats what humans do" I know 'Darling" is insanely common, just something I noticed in a lot of the Matty coded Taylor songs it comes up as well.

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About You (10/10)

The main song most often associated with Taylor. The song that Matty mouthed "This song is about you, you know who you are, I love you". I always assumed he wanted her to be able to sing this with him at some point and thats why it was done as a duet.

"We get married in our heads. Something to do, while we try to recall how we met"

"And I'll miss you on the train" - the common train reference

On Tortured Poets:

loml lyrics: "I wish I could un-recall, how we almost had it all"

Taylor also sampled this song in the background of Guilty as Sin

Also the final song of The 1975 tour. Also one of the songs from tour associated very closely with the door, which may relate to her stage door on her Karma set for tour. Also her last song.

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All I Need to Hear (8/10)

Notably Mattys most emotional song this tour, especially early on. Maybe he had his dad sing it, because he couldn't. Or, like he said he felt like it would sound better sang by someone else. Just odd he used to sing it. I always assumed this song was just about his Dad.

"Reply to my message, pick up my calls. You see, I wrote you a letter, it was no use at all. Oh I don't care if you're insincere. Just tell me what I want to hear"

"I don't need the crowds and the cheers, just tell me you love me that alls that I need to hear. I've been told, so many times before, but hearing it from you, means so much more"

"You know where to find me, the place where we've lived all these years" referring to London?

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When We Are Together (7/10)

Twigs/ Taylor? I always assumed Twigs, but honestly... IDK

"I like socks with sandals, she's more into scented candles, oh" Taylor does have a line in Closure (solid Matty song) about candles and she is known to love candles. She loves candles to the point it scared her mom that she was going to burn the house down.

"It was poorly handled the, the day we both got cancelled" Did twigs and him get cancelled around the same time? I was just always curious what this referred to. For Taylor her main cancelling would have been right before Reputation, which would sort of fit.

"Because I'm a racist and you're some kind of slag" Was he still called a racist while he was with Twigs? Taylor was getting called a womanizer prior to Rep.

"I'm better at writing, was just a way to get you biting, oh" The truth is that our egos are absurd" Referring to him writing about her in songs to get a response? Writing her a letter to get her to reach out?

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sfwordsmith · 2 months

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The Astrohaus Freewrite Alpha – First Impressions

Behold the Freewrite Alpha – a distraction-free writing experience, reminiscent of the AlphaSmart Neo 2, its spiritual predecessor, which was discontinued in 2013. Now, in 2024, Astrohaus, the team behind the Freewrite series of writing devices, hopes to continue the legacy of the Neo line with its new portable writing device.

In this blog post I will give an in-depth look at my initial impressions of the Freewrite Alpha as someone with a background in writing fiction of lengths from novels all the way to short stories and flash fiction, as well as blog posts, poetry and song lyrics.

My experience is also bolstered by my fondness for trying out new writing software, devices, keyboards, typewriters and the like. I have used many laptops of various qualities, multiple mechanical keyboards and keyswitch types, bluetooth keyboards, a Royal Deluxe Typewriter, and an AlphaSmart Neo 2. Basically any input device I can get my hands on. I feel I am uniquely qualified in this manner to give a thorough review of how the Freewrite Alpha stacks up in the eyes of an educated consumer in the space.

With that said, I am not going to get into an overly technical explanation of the hardware or the Postbox software, and purely focus on the user experience, and my own personal takeaways after 5 days with the device. This review is going to be a bit of a first-person initial dive into the physical device itself, my experience using it, interacting with Astrohaus customer service, as well as my thoughts on where devices like this should be aiming for in future generations.

Just for clarity sake I will state now that this is not a sponsored post and any of the products I mention here are in no way incentivizing me. I purchased my own Freewrite Alpha through the pre-order program in May 2023. It cost me $299 before tax or shipping. The Freewrite Alpha is now listed for $349 before tax and shipping, and when I went to check the price right now, the Honey browser extension filled in the promo code FREEWRITE5 giving $17.45 off that price. No guarantee that’s still available at the time you read this article. Anyway, I hope that can perhaps frame your perspective on value.

Table of Contents

Toggle

Build Details:

The Build Quality

The Keys

The Screen

My Personal User Experience

The maker of the Alpha: AstroHaus

Missed Opportunities & Feature Requests for Alpha V2

In Conclusion

Let’s start it off by breaking down the Alpha and what it’s comprised of.

Build Details:

6.5” wide x 1.2”Reflective LCD Screen

QWERTY style keyboard

Choc V2 low-profile key switches

Integrated palm rest

Kickstand for adjustable typing angle

1.6 lbs total weight

Claimed battery life of 100 hours

Wi-fi connectivity

Cloud syncing to Dropbox, Google Drive, OneDrive, and Evernote

USB-C Charging and direct file management via a computer

So let’s dive in, and start where it really matters.

The Build Quality

It is a beauty. I purchased the Raven Black edition. The red, black, and white color scheme suits my tastes. The plastic is well molded, and overall it feels like a high quality product

One gripe I have is that the finish on this thing gets scratched so easily. I barely ran the flat side of my fingernail down it and it scuffed. I drive a black car so this is something I am used to in pursuit of my dark aesthetic. I think for some, you’ll get used to minor scuffs and dings and won’t pay it much attention. If showing it to people, most eyes giving it a cursory glance in relatively normal light won’t ever notice them and so it may or may not be a big deal for you. But they are there. I wear a metal watch band, and it’s obvious which wrist I use it on from the scratches. Oh well, maybe it’ll develop its own unique patina. Who knows? Only time can tell. All I know is that if you are the type of person bothered by small scuffs and scratches, maybe you should go for the speckled-white version they sell instead. I don’t have one to test, but I imagine it might show minor cosmetic abrasions less.

With that said, I am suspect of this thing’s repairability but I’m not going to risk the warranty on this product to tear it open just yet. There are no visible screws to unleash on the bottom of this thing, and I fear that whatever is holding it together is likely to be under the adhesive feet in each corner. Anybody who has ever modded small electronics with those stupid blobs on them, they never quite go back on the same way do they? Makes me think that Astrohaus, the company that makes the Freewrite isn’t really capable of seeing eye to eye with a section of their user base that probably has a mind to the right to repair movement. But I’ll speak on Astrohaus in more detail later in this post.

The Keys

My first thought was wow. This is a typists dream keyboard.. The white keycaps with the black font gives off a high-end look, and while some people may not be fond of the flat key profile, I myself haven’t had any issues with it. With that said, I have fairly average size fingers and I am a great touch typer so your mileage may vary on that one.

It’s got Choc V2 low-profile key switches, the brown variant, and there are plenty of other creators who can tell you loads more than I can about how those switches perform. This isn’t the article for that.

(

All I know is the keys have a nice thoccy sound and some differing pitches on the non-alpha keys. It’s easy to get into a rhythm on this thing. My only complaint is the horrible out-of-box spacebar sound. It is hollow and rattly and is the loudest part of typing with this thing stock. I added three small O-rings to it and it sounds a lot better. I imagine with some thicker O-rings I could make this a non-issue for the most part.

Side note: Yes, I am aware that the creator of Freewrite seems to dislike O-ring use, but I think that essentially comes down to a personal choice. I am at least going to try them out and figure out what I like for myself. Some keyboards really do wonders with it and from my limited supply on hand it made the sounds of the spacebar improve already. Personally I’m waiting on a new O-ring set to deck the whole keyboard out to silence it a bit. Tune it to your own preference. Objectively this keyboard is a loud keyboard, and for a portable device such as this, how loud it is could lead to you being annoying if you bring it out in public. If you care about such things.

One other point about the keys. I’ve read reports of people who have been having issues with the keys on this thing and mistyping or not having keys register. I’ve had no such issue once I really get into a typing session. At first, I had some non-registers on certain keys at wakeup or when syncing, but after you start drafting it either stops lagging the input or just catches up to speed. From my understating Astrohaus is planning a firmware update to resolve this. I don’t think its a dealbreaker at this point.

The Screen

The Alpha has a 6.5” wide x 1.2” high reflective LCD screen. There is no powered light on this screen. That is an aspect of the type of screen Astrohaus chose to use in this build and knowing that going in is an important part of setting your expectations with this device.

I’m not going to go into the argument of backlit LCD vs reflective LCD. I feel like I understand why Astrohaus did what they did, and I am okay with it. It saves on battery drain, and makes it incredibly readable in decent light. I don’t think it needs a full blown backlit LCD personally, but to each their own. I read a great post by Andrewbp677 on Reddit about reflective LCD’s on the Alpha, and I’m just going to link that here. You should read it. https://www.reddit.com/r/Astrohaus/comments/1amr0vz/for_those_disappointed_by_the_alphas_screen_its/

I will, however, give you a rundown on using it in different lighting conditions. In normal daytime light you’re going to be fine. If you are viewing it with no light against it at all you may be in a bit of trouble. I have 20/15 vision after LASIK and can make out the contrast of the words ever so slightly with no light at all. It definitely needs light or for you to be an absolutely phenomenal touch typer who doesn’t look at the screen at all.

When I think of typing at night with the Alpha, I am 100% adding some light shining on the reflective LCD screen this thing has with my Gritin clamp-on light that I bought for like $15 on Amazon. It clips on perfectly to the upper right-hand corner of the device and does the job with its variable amounts of light and color temperature. If you have an Alpha, just get it. Consider it a vital accessory.

My Freewrite Alpha list up with the Gilkin clip on lamp

As for the text in general, I it seems relatively easy to read on the medium setting, which gives a good amount of drafting space at its size and only gets really hard to read if you tilt it super far off-axis. When I’m sitting on a couch, kinda slumped back, but holding it basically like how I would a laptop on my lap, I can see it just fine with some lamp light reflecting against it.

A complaint I’ve read online is that people were having issues with the legibility of the font on the smallest size. It is important to note that I am writing this on version 1.12.3 so when you are reading this article may come into play. In this version they changed the font away from what they shipped with the original release firmware.

It is this version of the font that everyone was originally complaining about, and while I would like it to be a slightly thicker font, I think it is not an issue that dramatically affects its usability. With light, it appears readable enough to me. With that said, the font does seem blurry depending on the angle of your light. There is a bit of text shadowing though that makes the text annoying to look at – which may honestly be what Astrohaus wanted in the first place. From what I can tell about their design ethos, you aren’t really supposed to be staring at this screen as you write. Just think and type. Learn to touch type on this thing and you can probably get some serious words out.

For reference: My preferred text size of medium on firmware 1.12.3

My Personal User Experience

Anyway, enough about how the Freewrite Alpha looks, sounds, and what it’s made of. Let’s talk about using it.

I am sure the keyboard won’t be for everyone but oh wow does it make this thing fun to use. It’s bouncy like a typewriter but has just the perfect distance stroke so that you can bottom out with these beautifully done keycaps (black on white keys on my Raven Black version). Its LCD screen is snappy and responsive and makes this thing very easy to draft on. I find that it is easy to type on this at a speed in which I am getting the words onto the Alpha in just about the instant that I am hearing them in my head. Obviously, if you compare it to a computer – that’s what you would expect. However, if you think of this thing as what it really is – a typewriter or word processor that syncs automatically to the web, its absolutely awesome. As a writing hardware nerd, they knew their audience and delivered. Well done Astrohaus.

Having to manually connect to different wifis anytime you change locations is a bit of a pain for mobile writers. What I ended up doing is just connecting to my phone’s mobile hotspot and using that to sync myself from time to time when not at home. I hope they figure out an easier way to do this in the future.

I will note that there are some instances of lag from time to time though and I believe its when its syncing to the cloud or establishing a wifi connection. However, my understanding as of the date this was posted is that Astrohaus will be updating their firmware to correct these issues. I hope so. I am certainly interested to see how they make changes as they get more feedback from testers.

That’s really what you are buying when you go after a first-generation product like this – a bit of hardware and the ability to essentially become a beta tester. Even though they have put out a few other typewriters and know what they are doing in that arena, this is the first of its own kind in their arsenal, eschewing their standard fare for a new form altogether. I think that with some fine-tuning, and if they listen to their community’s feedback, they will be able to improve upon it in the future.

This leads me to my next point.

The maker of the Alpha: AstroHaus

I wouldn’t speak on the company and it’s reputation itself if it wasn’t a necessary point of note. However, with a unique product like this, and with it being one of a limited number of options for purchasing a device such as this, I feel that it is important to describe what owning one of these things is like, and part of that is interacting with the company that creates and services it.

This is where I get into the customer service side of things from Astrohaus, and I’m not going to turn this into a rant about what clearly is a passionate small group that is working on a very niche product for our community of writer folks. However, I think there are some things that need to be addressed if I am reviewing my initial experience with the first of their products I’ve received.

I want to be upfront. I was one of the first run Alpha’s that were hit with a bug that could cause you to potential lose words. Mid-connecting to wifi I was force booted from my Postbox account on the Alpha and asked to log in again, only upon doing so to find that all of my drafts on the device had been wiped clean like I was starting from scratch – I even got the opening “press new+new to start your first draft” message that happens upon first use. It had nothing in it. It ended up in me losing an entire document, which, luckily was just me having a friend try out the typing and nothing of any real importance. If it was important to me, I would’ve gotten rid of this thing immediately. Losing words is an absolute NO for me as a professional author and communications professional and will make me immediately discontinue the use of a product.

So let’s talk about that bug that I had. Data loss aside, (which is a big aside), this was entirely preventable. Astrohaus informed Alpha buyers that there was a firmware update that needed to be done to prevent any issues, however, in the email documentation that I received they said that you only needed to factory reset before updating the firmware IF you were already experiencing issues. Now, I am fairly tech savy, so I knew this was super risky to not just factory reset it out of the box, but I wanted to show that Astrohaus did not instruct everyone to Factory Reset.

Alpha Email about initial firmware change needed

So, instead of instructing everyone to do that to prevent any issues, they opted to have the potential of data loss be the driving force behind you needing to do a factory reset. By the way, the factory reset took maybe 15 seconds total to do. The longest part was waiting for the new firmware update to populate. To me, the best way to serve your customers would have been to ask them to force the reset so that there would be no issues moving forward, not waiting for there to be issues and then having your customers lose data and then have to do the reset anyway. I just don’t see the logic behind that there. Set your customer support team up for success.

I had other issues with their customer relations, specifically delays in shipment, no emails to confirm my address when apparently that’s what was delaying my shipment, and not having my updated address when I eventually got them to tell me that I needed to confirm address, and oh by the way, I had already updated my address with them three months prior via email. I don’t want to harp on this too much, because like I said, they are a small team, and bugs and mishaps happen in all industries. Also, I do want to note that their customer support agent is very prompt with their email responses, and I had no issue with any actual communications from them. My issue is more with just how they have chosen to engage with their user base.

And how is that you may ask? Well, it seems that they aren’t quite communicating with their base in the way that they should. Again, small team, don’t want to harp on them too hard, but what they produce is a very niche product with a very small potential user base. Their success as a company entirely relies on making good products and keeping this user base happy. Best way to do that? Listen to what it is that they want and maybe realize that there are ways to keep your vision of a distraction-free device without having an adversarial relationship with your users.

For example, the arrow keys, or lack thereof, is what I almost would call “hostile architecture“. I understand they want to keep people drafting and don’t want them editing on the device. That’s why they make the screen so small and they don’t allow you to load drafts onto the device itself. But to make it so that to move the cursor back one space you need to hit three keys in unison is simply ridiculous. You also cannot hold the keys down to move multiple spaces at once. Asrohaus, do not hamstring your own device because you think you know better than your users. Those same users are just going to be frustrated with your decision when they inevitably do need to move the cursor and are going to have it in the back of their mind every time that happens that its Astrohaus’ fault that they chose to have it this way.

That’s not the type of relationship you want to have with the people who are the driving force behind your sales. If you go on community-driven websites like Reddit for example, and the r/Astrohaus section, you’ll find that the predominate consensus is that their devices are good, but that the software is iffy and the company itself isn’t one that people should support because they do not make decisions that are in line with what their customers are looking for. That sort of sentiment is why I did not buy any of their first three products. I could see the issues, see the complaints from their community members, and see that there was almost no attempt to fix these issues because… well… Astrohaus knows best? I can guarantee that they have lost sales because of this strategy. The only reason that I even bought an Alpha is because they copied one of the best writing devices of all time, the Alphasmart Neo 2, and added modern touches to it such as cloud syncing and a mechanical keyboard with a relatively modest price to boot. (If $350 is modest. I am glad I got the early bird pricing, otherwise, I may still have thought it too pricey and just bought some more Alphasmart Neo 2s.)

So where does that leave us off? Well, despite Astrohaus’ attempts at irking us all, the Freewrite Alpha is a solid writing device. It does everything I need it to do and helps you really knock out words. Is it for everyone? No. Is it for some people? Definitely yes, and those are the people Astrohaus needs to be looking to for guidance in how they should revise these products in future generations, otherwise they will lose the support they do have and writers around the world won’t be better off because of it.

Missed Opportunities & Feature Requests for Alpha V2

I do find there to be a couple missed opportunities for some unique features.

I’m surprised it doesn’t utilize its USB-C port more. If the keyboard could be plugged into your phone to be used as a genuine keyboard, that would be an interesting take for writers. For me personally, if I had some table space to set up, I could see myself plugging into Scrivener on an iPhone and getting some concepting work done directly into where I inevitably dump all my drafts into anyway. Allowing the physical hardware to do this adds to the utility of the device even more. I could sit down at my desk, or really any table, prop up my phone in landscape mode and voila, highly portable mechanical keyboard mini computer. That’s the goal anyway right? For me to carry the Alpha around all the time? It also doesn’t seem like an improbable ask… Hell the Alphasmart Neo 2 lets you do it and that came out in 2007. (If you have a neo 2, get a usb-b to usb-c dongle and plug it in. Super easy to use.)

Another missed opportunity for this device, and I’m sure a lot of people would agree that this is a small gripe, is that there doesn’t seem to be a way to access the files by connecting directly to a phone via USB-C. At least, not on my iPhone 15 Pro Max I can’t. You can however, access it on a computer. This seems like a very closed-minded way to think about how people might use your device. I like to be able to draft anywhere that I possibly am, and anytime that an idea strikes me. I was hoping that Astrohaus would consider that more. As many devices as I can possibly connect to would be a win for me and mobility with this device in general. What if I had no service, no wifi, and only my phone and my Alpha and needed to transfer a file to someone? It would be impossible to do so currently from what I can tell. A simple change like allowing manual connectivity in that way would help.

Improved Wifi. Like even just allow a list of saved networks please. This is simple stuff.

If I could ask for anything for a V2, not counting non-hostile arrow keys, it would be to have hot-swap switches. They did well to include a mechanical keyboard with this, but one of the major aspects of mechanical keyboards is the ability to customize it to your own preferences. Having the ability to swap out the key-switches to your taste would be a luxury worth paying extra for, at least for me. This would also add to its officeability, as some of your co-workers may not be fond of the clickity-clack of this keyboard. (Luckily I’ve conditioned my office mates to the sound of my tactile switch-laden ZSA Moonlander. Or at least, I hope they don’t hate me for it.)

I think some sort of adjustment or relocation of the power button would be nice as well. I am constantly triggering this thing accidentally, so much so that I want to password-protect this to stop my work from having stray characters inputted on the regular. (Apparently there’s an option to do so on the Freewrite’s Postbox website, but when I enabled it, nothing ever happened. Not sure why.)

An adjustable screen would also be nice. This is likely a pipe dream but if you could lift the screen just slightly to adjust for light, I feel that would knock off a lot of the complaints about lighting issues or the shadowing effect you sometimes get based on the viewing angle of the text.

And I know this is damn near an impossibility but the first of these sorts of devices to add seamless integration into Scrivener will have me gladly throw down money to pre-order again right now.

In Conclusion

If you are a writer that is serious about getting more words down on a daily basis, and you think a distraction free writing device is for you, then just buy one. It is the pinnacle of this type of device released so far. My advice, if you do buy a Freewrite Alpha, just have fun with it. That’s what writing is supposed to be. Sometimes it feels like work, trust me, I understand, but in the end it should be fun. And boy do I have fun with this thing. This freaking article comes out over 4400+ words and its been 5 days for me. I can not wait to see what level of productivity this device propels me toward. Thank you Astrohaus for being a champion of distracted writers everywhere. As someone who struggles with his own attention disorder, I am deeply appreciate of this product.

With that said, if you are one of the people who get an Alpha, make sure you factory reset it first, get a clamp-on light, and if you have a phone, just use your portable hotspot to sync anytime you are writing on this thing. It works better than having to connect to a different wifi network everywhere you go. Not to mention, it gives you the ultimate flexibility to go and write wherever your heart desires with the peace of mind of having your data backed up. That’s truly what the Freewrite Alpha is, a typewriter that you can take anywhere and everywhere, forever by your side, your partner in candid observations about the Universe.

Until next time.

-Spencer Spalding

P.S. I wrote this article entirely on my Freewrite Alpha, and then edited it on Scrivener for MacOS. If there’s some other input device or writing software you would like me to test out in the future, please leave it below in the comments.

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#fiction #author #writing #novelist #independentartist

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virgojeons · 3 years

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true love (jjk)

summary: you and jungkook spend your first christmas together.

alternatively, a merry love story based on the lyrics of true love by ariana grande.

genre: fluff, humor, college au, established relationship, holiday series, jeon jungkook x reader

word count: 4.6k

warnings: cursing, implied sexual content, excessive use of pet names

wattpad version here, ao3 version here

a/n: well, here i am!! pls be gentle with me, this is the first time ive ever posted my writing on here and ive been debating it for months lmao. i truly truly hope u enjoy!!

on the first day of christmas when you gave me all them kisses, boy you showed me things, come hold me please and never let me go.

"Five days until Christmas and you're still decorating the tree?"

You yelped at the sudden sound of your boyfriend's voice, dropping your over-accessorized ornament and watching helplessly as it shattered against the floor.

Immediately, you whined. "Jungkook!"

Jungkook suppressed a grin at the furrow of your eyebrows and the pout of your lips, kicking his shoes off and tossing his coat onto the couch. He didn't mean to scare you, really. You even knew he was coming over. It's just that you left the front door unlocked (as you always did when he was on his way, despite him constantly scolding you for it) and there was no way you would've heard him come in over the sound of Jingle Bell Rock blaring through the house.

"Sorry, baby," He chuckled, bending down beside you to help pick up the remnants of your best ornament. "I didn't mean to scare you."

You glared at him in between collecting the shards of glass in your hand. "I spent hours making that."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Hot glue gun burns, sparkles stuck on my face and everything."

Jungkook took the pieces of glass from you with an amused look on his face, standing from his kneeling position to toss them in the trash can you had earlier moved to the living room for easy access. "I'm sorry. I'll make you another one."

"It's not the same." You sulked, finding fun in being stubborn and giving him a hard time. It was getting increasingly difficult though, with his rosy nose and ears and that little gleam in his eyes.

It was then that he made his first move of the night, tugging you by your oversized Rudolph sweater so quickly that you had to latch onto his shoulders for leverage with a squeal. His grin only seemed to grow once you were officially in his space, taking notice of your lack of pants and the snowflake stockings that appeared to be in their place instead.

"You don't look too sorry," You chuckled, heart stuttering at the way he was gazing down at you in such close proximity.

Jungkook shrugged, nudging his nose with yours. "I'm just happy."

They were such simple words, but it was the way he said them, the way he looked at you when he said them. You couldn’t lie, the excitement of spending your first Christmas together, completely alone, was incredibly infectious. It was gross and it was corny and everything else you swore you would never be, but you were in love with Jungkook. Devastatingly so. You from nine months ago probably wouldn’t even recognize the present you; a fact that friends, family, and even Jungkook alike loved to tease you about. Cracking the so-called ice queen was a feat to be celebrated, apparently. Whatever. He was yours and you were his so you didn’t quite care about the technicalities of it. Even if the story went a bit differently, in your opinion.

The brutal snow and temperatures of February were beginning to fade into spring when you met Jungkook.

You and Jimin had been attempting to finish your economics homework together in your favorite coffee shop; a hidden treasure that was a ten minute walk from campus and ticked all your aesthetic boxes. You two were sipping from your respective hot drinks, neglecting your heaps of bookwork in favor of discussing the new season of Stranger Things. Jimin was deep into his theory of Hopper still being alive when his eyes flickered to the door at the sound of the bell, widening slightly in recognition before a bright smile took over his face.

"Jungkook!" Jimin called, waving whoever it was over.

You followed his gaze and turned your head in the direction of the entrance, growing curious when the boy walking towards your table wasn't familiar to you. It took you less than five seconds to realize that the boy in question was attractive.

Like, extremely attractive. The kind of attractive that should not be subjected to the way you look right now.

It took you even less time to whip your head back around, glaring at Jimin with wide eyes and a panicked expression.

He met your glare with a confused scrunch of his eyebrows before it slowly transformed into a smirk, quickly catching on to what your pointed look was for. The night before had been a late one. You, like any other normal millennial, had impulse bought a pretty yellow Nintendo Switch solely for the new Animal Crossing game. As soon as it arrived on your doorstep you were retreating into your room, tearing the package open with squeals of excitement.

Maybe you completely lost track of time and played until your eyes were bloodshot and you heard birds chirping outside. Maybe you got an astounding two hours of sleep. And maybe you had fallen asleep without setting an alarm and woke up thirty minutes later than usual.

The details were insignificant though, because you were throwing on a pair of leggings and the first sweatshirt you saw, brushing your hair and your teeth, and hastily sprinting to your car all in record time.

No sleep. No makeup. No breakfast. And worst of all, no coffee.

And so, it was blatantly clear you had no desire to let a boy that beautiful even glance at you in that state, let alone introduce himself. But it didn't look like you had a choice in the matter, because moments later he was towering over your table with a stupidly handsome smile.

Jungkook grinned, reaching out to do that Weird Bro Handshake with Jimin. "Hey, Chim."

You were already plotting various methods of painful revenge in your head.

"Hey, Kook. What are you doing here?"

"I kind of work here," He chuckled. "Well, as of like, yesterday. Today's my first day."

"Oh, so this is the new job you were telling me about," Jimin nodded in realization, then his eyes flickered mischievously to yours. You’re rapidly shaking your head. "You know, this is my friend ___'s favorite coffee spot."

A scowl immediately takes over your face, only to be wiped off and replaced by a sickeningly sweet smile when Jungkook turns his head to look your way. The instant your eyes meet his you quite literally want to melt into the floor.

Jungkook smiles at you. Like, really smiles. "Hey, that's cool. We'll probably be seeing a lot of each other then, right?"

Across the table, Jimin snorts, which only adds to the way your cheeks are absolutely flaming. You send a harsh kick to Jimin's leg as inconspicuously as you can, all while batting your eyelashes at Jungkook.

"Uh, yeah! We probably... will."

Jungkook looks positively amused, but if he notices Jimin rushing to clutch his leg, he doesn't say anything.

"Sweet," He grins again. There's a brief few seconds where you two are just gazing at each other, stupid and shy, until Jimin loudly clears his throat. "Right, well, I should probably go clock in. Let's chill sometime this week, Chim."

"Sure thing." Jimin sings, smugness plastered all over his face.

Jungkook waves, already backing away from the table with his eyes on you. "Nice meeting you."

You feel yourself flush again and you absolutely hate it. "Nice meeting you too."

With a final smile, Jungkook disappears behind the employee doors. The moment he leaves your eyes are screwed shut and you're slamming your head against the table. The silence speaks for itself. You don't even need to see Jimin's face to know that he's either smirking or stifling his laughter.

"Don't." You warn.

"You just blushed," He says anyway. "Like, four times."

"I most definitely did not blush."

"You did. You still are."

"I'm embarrassed!" You wail. "That's literally the only reason why. I look like I got ran over and dragged for three blocks."

"Jungkook sure doesn't seem to think so," Jimin hums, snickering as he sips his coffee.

"Stop."

"He likes you." He insists.

"He was just being polite." You defend.

"That is literally my childhood best friend. I think I would know."

This makes you pause. Then you sigh. "He doesn't even know me."

He doesn’t disagree. But then again, "Not yet."

"Stop trying to play matchmaker, Jimin. He said five words to me," You spoke firmly, exasperated as you downed the final sip of your latte. "Plus, I'm just focusing on me and my degree right now. No distractions."

Jimin knew that you were already worn out, and even though he was mostly joking around, he wouldn’t want to push you any further. He’d drop it.

"Fine. We'll see who's right in the end, though."

For now.

"I will dump that hot coffee over your head."

As it turns out, Jimin was kind of right.

It takes a grand total of four visits to your favorite coffee shop before Jungkook asks you out. The first time you were by yourself, nose buried in a book as Jungkook was clocking in. He wasn't able to speak to you until about an hour later, when the morning rush had passed and you had finally lifted your head from whatever was in that book.

You were honestly dreading facing him again, but you were prepared and actually presentable this time. Also you were kind of starving. And so, you hesitantly approached the counter. Jungkook took your order, both of you all fidgeting hands and sheepish smiles. You mentally patted yourself on the back when you spoke without any real mess-ups, and prayed that the cool girl aura you always tried so desperately to maintain was being transmitted.

Not like you were trying to leave a lasting impression, or anything.

He hand delivered you your coffee and muffin with a beaming grin, all while his new boss glared at him from behind the counter. He didn't have to know that you knew cashiers weren't supposed to serve the food.

The second visit was a few days after. You were with Jimin again, shooting down every jab he made about you only wearing a pretty dress because you knew you would be coming here. Jungkook joined you both during his break. As soon as he untied his apron and sat himself directly across from you, it struck. You knew you were screwed. You just couldn't stop staring at him. The chin in the palm of your hands and sparkles in your eyes type of staring. You would be much more ashamed if you couldn’t see the way he was staring right back. Jimin found this hilarious, of course, and would subtly find ways to connect you two in conversation. You weren't sure if you loved or hated him for it.

It was that visit that Jungkook insisted on sharing his slice of strawberry cake with you, claiming he wasn't that hungry. The both of you were embarrassed, whacking his arm and dismissing him as Jimin complained about being the third wheel. By the end of his break, Jungkook was positively smitten, you were begrudgingly infatuated, and Jimin was awfully smug. He reluctantly said bye to you both, and you were slouching forward with your head in your hands the moment he disappeared from visibility.

Jimin looked extremely pleased. "Believe me now?"

"Focusing on school," You protested. It was a weak one, but. Well.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" He mused.

And suddenly, you were frantic. Panicking. This was definitely not a part of the plan.

Quickly packing up your things, you groaned loudly. "You. Maybe me. Or both. I can't think in this place anymore."

"You'll be all over each other by next week."

"Shh!" You were childishly covering your ears and speed-walking out of the café.

Try as you might, you couldn't help yourself and returned the very next day after all your classes had finished. Jungkook was already there when you walked in, taking a customer's order but doing a double take and flashing you a smile when you appeared in his line of sight. This visit consisted of nothing but pretending.

Pretending to be studying. Pretending you weren't listening to him take orders just to hear his voice. Pretending you weren't sneaking glances at him. Pretending that the way your eyes kept meeting wasn't making your skin prickle. And you were just fine pretending, until suddenly he was in the seat across from with you his apron off and a steaming hot chocolate in hand. You tried your hardest to remain indifferent, you really did. But then he was pushing the beverage towards you with gentle eyes and his smile hopeful, telling you it was his treat because he noticed how hard you were studying. And then you were melting right along with the marshmallows in that mug.

The two of you talked about your majors, your families, your favorite shows, even Jimin. You asked about his tattoos and he explained them with ease. You also may have pulled out one of the oldest tricks in the book at the sight of his knuckle tattoos, gasping in feigned wonder when you pulled his hand against yours to measure the size difference.

His hand could swallow yours whole and still have some leftover, you discovered. It was a very rewarding experiment.

You made each other laugh and blush down to the very last second of his break. Scarily enough, being in each other's presence was so annoyingly addictive that you found yourself hesitant to watch him leave. You could tell Jungkook felt the same by the way he dragged out his goodbyes. I work again on Thursday, maybe I'll see you then? Your fingers brushed as he softly took the mug from you. It was really fun talking to you. You were biting your lip to keep from smiling embarrassingly big. You look really pretty today, by the way. And then he was off.

You made a strangled noise the second you were outside with your fingers frantically beginning to type a message to Jimin.

promise not to say i told you so :///

Jungkook asked you out on your fourth visit. As soon as you approached the counter, he just blurted it out. As if it was something he couldn't hold on his tongue any longer. You couldn't hear yourself say yes over your brain malfunctioning and the powerful thumping of your heart, but you knew you did. His heartbreakingly gorgeous grin told you so.

On his break, Jungkook brought you a latte with a heart carved in the cream. You just couldn't conceal the coo that escaped you, which quickly resulted in his cheeks reddening.

Cute, you thought.

He quizzed you on your personality and the type of activities you liked to do, admitting that he would use the information to conjure up the best date you would ever go on. Six days later, Jungkook stayed true to his word. Not only was it the best date you had ever been on, but you were completely certain it would ruin any other dates for you moving forward, unless they were with him. Much to your annoyance and also utter delight, you were so sure of Jeon Jungkook and your brief but striking time together that you kissed him. Right on the swings of your favorite childhood playground, first date rules tossed aside.

He was so caught off guard that his eyes expanded to twice their normal size and your teeth banged together. You drew back, slightly mortified and ready to jump to your death from the tallest slide on the playground, but Jungkook was huffing a laugh onto your lips and grabbing your face like it was nothing. Then you two got it just right, and something clicked. The earth fell off its axis and you were rendered breathless and all that nauseating cliché shit you chastised as a myth. And from that day forward, you two were completely, tooth-rottingly, inseparable.

"Easy," Jungkook proclaimed, pecking your lips. "We finished the tree."

He set you back on the floor gently, releasing a dramatic breath of air as if lifting you to place the star on top of the tree had actually winded him. As if he wasn't a muscle pig. You rolled your eyes and told him as much.

"Don't be a baby, muscle pig," You shoved at his bicep, only proving your point further when he didn't move an inch. ‘And I finished the tree.”

Instead, he caught the hand that you nudged him with and pulled your back to his chest, caging you between his arms. "Muscle pig, huh? That's what you think of me, baby?"

You flushed at the teasing lilt in his voice, suddenly very eager to escape his hold. But try as you might, he just wouldn't budge. A loud laugh left your throat as you flailed in his grasp, his muscled arms bulging in the turtleneck you bought him for his birthday a few months ago. Suddenly, you decided that you would be returning it for your own personal peace.

A high pitched whine left your mouth, one that lost all its seriousness once it was drowned out by your giggles. "Jungkook, let go of me!"

You would just not stop wiggling, and Jungkook could not stop laughing. He could live the rest of his life like this, his brain pauses to think. He's so happy.

And when you're thrashing so violently that your heel kicks his pocket with a force that has an object clattering onto the floor, Jungkook has never reacted faster in his life. Instantly your imprisonment is gone, and Jungkook is on your floor in a flash. Your eyebrows draw together at the sight of him scrambling for whatever it is, and all you're able to see is a sleek black case before he's quickly stuffing it back in his pocket.

You're eyeing him when he rises back on his feet. "Feel like sharing?"

Jungkook whistles noncommittally. "Not particularly, no."

There's a drawn-out beat of silence where you're just gazing at each other, neither one of you backing down. And then you're crossing your arms, and he's looking at your nose and your forehead and anywhere but your eyes, and then you're arching an eyebrow. He looks at you and breaks. Defeat.

"It's your present," He lets out a heavy sigh. "Well, the main one anyway."

You positively squeal. "Ooh! Can I see? Please?"

"Baby, it's the 20th."

"Can I have a hint?"

Jungkook blinks. "No, you cannot have a hint."

You're instantly pouting, but Jungkook expects that, because he knows you better than anyone else. Which is why he knows that you're a little spoiled, with a bit of a bratty streak, with just a dash of calculated charm that you use to your advantage to get just about anything you want. He's never seen it as a bad thing. In fact, he finds it cute. A little hot, too, if he's being truthful.

Anyway, he came prepared. Just as you're opening your mouth to no doubt make him spill the surprise, he's hushing you with a bruising kiss to your lips. The kind of kiss that makes you go pliant against him, the kind that makes you make a little noise in the back of your throat. The kind you've been waiting for all night.

It’s the trick that never truly runs its course.

And Jungkook is melting, too. Melting, turning to mush at your very feet, until you're moving backwards and clutching at his shoulders, ready to push him onto the couch.

"Mmm," He's humming against you, before he reluctantly draws back. He lets you chase his lips once, twice, before he chuckles lowly. "Hold on, angel."

You're suddenly feeling warm all over after his kisses, wanting nothing more than to cuddle into him into the couch and feel him next to you. Or maybe above you. With that chain you always tugged on dangling in your face. You really weren't picky.

You watched Jungkook break away from you and rummage through his bag with a frown and a newfound heat at the pit of your belly. "It can't wait?"

Like he said, he knows you, which means he knew kisses alone wouldn’t be able to satiate you nor get you to stop asking questions for the entire week. No matter how mind-numbing they may be.

"One second," He promised, and you definitely counted at least five, but he quickly found what he was looking for all the same. "I brought a surprise. Well, two surprises."

He was holding both of his hands behind his back with this stupid grin on his face. You squinted for a few seconds, suspicious, before breathing out a laugh. "Are you ever gonna show me?"

Jungkook looked way too happy with himself.

"The most important surprise is mistletoe, obviously. Gonna have to find a way to glue it on to the ceiling above your bed." And there was that mischievous little smile that told you he had every intention of carrying that out.

You folded your arms over your body and scoffed. Even if you were trying and failing to keep your lips from quirking up and possibly, maybe finding it a little harder to breathe all of a sudden. "You're unbelievable, Jeon."

He just winked and held up his other hand, pulling a gasp from your lips the second you realized what it was.

"The Polar Express!"

"I had to check like, four different stores in the mall to find it. That's why I got here a little late, by the way. But I thought we could make some hot chocolate like in the movie and watch it together and," Jungkook pauses to think, licking his lips. "There's a 'ride my train' joke in here somewhere but I don't know how to say it."

He's snorting at his own delivery before you are, and once your giggles permeate the air he's invading your space again with a lovesick smile.

"You are the sweetest boy," You praise, holding his pretty face with both hands and peppering small kisses all over it the way he secretly likes. "But you make me sick to my stomach sometimes."

If anything, this makes him smile even wider. "I love you too, baby."

You and Jungkook are in complete darkness besides the light coming from the TV in your room playing Polar Express. His head is on your shoulder with his arm strewn across your waist, and his entire leg slotted between yours. He's soft. He smells like the lavender body soap you keep in your shower. His gentle breaths hit your neck every time he exhales and you're now cliché enough to believe that the heart underneath you beats in tandem with yours.

Both of your stomachs are filled from the takeout he ordered for dinner and the peppermint hot chocolate you made while he was in the shower. You're still mentally replaying the moment he stepped back in your room, towel wrapped around his waist with droplets of water cascading down his body. His prominent abs and tattoos and wet hair had you scrambling to sit up, clearing your throat as you tasked yourself with handing him his mug. If he noticed you ogling him, he surely didn’t react to it.

Made us some cocoa, you said.

He brought the beverage to his nose and sniffed once, twice, before his entire face bunched up. Peppermint is nasty. Then he was gulping it down.

I thought it was nasty, you laughed in disbelief.

Nothing you make me can be nasty. Thank you, baby.

And now you’re thoroughly warm from the tips of your fingertips down to your toes, and you figure it has less to do with the cocoa and more with the way Jungkook so obviously loves you. The way you love him.

Feeling a tugging at your shirt, you look down to see him peering up at you with a dazed twinkle in his eye. "You're not hot in this?"

You purse your lips and pause, knowing what was coming. "No. Are you?"

He has the decency to look a little clueless. He was always doing that, in a playfully childish way you grew to love.

"Actually, yeah I am," Jungkook furrows his brows, like it was something he was just now realizing. And then he's sitting up and pulling his shirt over his head, and you're instantly staring at his back and remembering the way it feels to rake your fingers up and down it, and he's turning back to you with a lazy smirk. "You don't wanna take yours off, angel?"

You swallow. "I'm okay."

Jungkook starts to laugh, that cocky laugh that is equal parts douchebag-ish and sexy. He's most definitely turning you on and he most definitely knows this, which is why you're glaring at him until he reaches over you and picks up the mistletoe from your bedside desk. He dangles it over your heads, makes sure to wriggle his eyebrows suggestively when he does it, and you want to laugh, you really do. You would probably roll your eyes and call him a nerd too while you were at it, if it weren't for the way he was changing his position and starting to lean over you. Crowding your space in your favorite way.

Jungkook hears your breathing pick up once you're directly under him, watches the way your lips part and your eyes change for him, and decides to go for the kill.

Nothing about the kiss was soft or gentle. Jungkook clearly had a point to prove and knew how he wanted to do it. The dangling mistletoe was soon forgotten in favor of holding your face by your chin, landing with a chime on your wooden floors. He worked your mouth open in that sloppy, messy, dirty way he only exhibited when he was feeling particularly desperate. Saliva pooled at the corners of your mouth and you were trembling underneath him, clutching at the warm skin of his back. It was nasty, absolutely obscene the way his tongue was in your mouth like his life depended on it. And you loved it. You couldn't stop making these little sounds, and Jungkook was groaning into your mouth right along with you. You were seconds away from pleading for him to do anything he wanted, to make you his, when he's abruptly pulling from you with a wet pop and a string of saliva between you.

Your ragged breaths fill the air, both of your chests heaving as you take a second to attempt to drag yourself out of the haze he's built around you two.

The asshole has the audacity to laugh. "Hot yet?"

"You don't have to bring out the mistletoe to kiss me, you know." You eventually say instead.

"I know," He pants, still smiling like the all-consuming beauty he is. "But you love Christmas. And it's our first. Wanna do it right."

You feel the need to close your eyes, let his words sink in, and so you do. You let the statement blanket over you until you're positively beaming, and when you open your eyes, he is the same. You are so irreversibly in love and you think he might be perfect. You tell him as much.

"You're perfect," You say, all soft and starry eyed. You're nodding when he starts shaking his head, and when the tips of his ears begin to turn red and he's putting his head down, you're giggling and putting both hands on either side of his head to get his eyes back on yours. "I love you a lot."

Jungkook is so happy. "Love you most."

And then he's leaning down again. This kiss is much less frantic, more steady, but still passionate and still with Jungkook, which means it fills your body with heat all the same. Your head is floating and you're squirming under his hold again when you break apart for air.

There's no point in trying to resist him anymore. You never can.

"I'm gonna take my sweater off now."

Jungkook scrunches his nose, and grins. "Okay."

read part two here!

#bts #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagine #jungkook x reader #fluff #humor #jungkook fanfiction #jeongguk #kpop #kpop fanfic #jungkook au #jungkook series #jeongguk x reader

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chaoticspacefam · 3 years

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💿💿💿 for Roanan, Ni'kasi and D'leah 👀

[ Send 💿 + a muse name and I'll list the songs I associate with that character!] --feel free to send more, you can even send for the same characters if you want. I am not joking when I say I have plenty of songs to choose from for all of them LMAO

Thank you for the asks, Pinky! ❤️ picking out the good ones, as usual 👀 So, in order! Warning up here for explicit language so don’t click past the cut if you don’t like that (tho I swear a lot so honestly y’all should be used to F bombs in songs and otherwise by now XD) Also, polite reminder that my ficverse is canon divergent so it doesn’t 100% follow in-game canon regarding the Empire’s backstory etc. No clowning, I will not be responding to “ThAT’s NoT CaNoN” posts 😘

Roan

My Way (Frank Sinatra Cover) - Chase Holfelder

Yes there were times, I’m sure you knew When I bit off more than I could chew But through it all when there was doubt, I ate it up, and spit it out! I faced it all, and I stood tall, and did it my way!

Yes, this version specifically, because the way the switch to minor key makes it both more heartfelt and yet sinister at the same time is just Roan’s entire aesthetic, as well as the lyrics all fitting his character arc very well~ 😃 Lawful Evil dad who saw how destructive the Emperor’s nonsense was becoming and did the best he could to help Vano, Ni’kasi and Vowrawn correct the mistakes right till the end, even if it cost him everything.

Ni’kasi

Judith [Explicit] - A Perfect Circle

Oh, so many ways for me to show you how your saviour has abandoned you... FUCK YOUR “GOD”! Your Lord, and your Christ, HE DID THIS! Took all you had and left you this way! Still you pray, never stray, never taste of the fruit, You never thought to question “why”.

With the “God” in question here referencing Tenebrae/Vitiate/Valkorion, The Emperor, of course 👀 Now we all know by now, Ni’kasi knows he’s full of shit, she knows exactly who he is, what he did, and that he’s neither a good ruler for the Empire nor the rightful one. Yes, it’s been over 100 years since Vitiate’s hostile takeover but like her mama, Kas holds grudges and she’s not about to take his nonsense lying down. She tamps it down for a long while but safe to say eventually She. Goes. OFF. 👏🤣 and the minute the opportunity comes along to branch out alongside Vano and Lana and break away from the crappy laws and slavery in the Empire and create somewhere better that people can flee to, she’s outta there.

D’leah

Daniel In The Den - Bastille

And you thought the lions were bad Well, they tried to kill my brothers And for every king that died, Oh they would crown another... And it’s harder than you think, telling dreams from one another. Felled in the night, by the ones you think you loved. They will come for you!

Or more accurately, did in fact, kill one brother. And your parents. And your huband. And yea... I don’t think it’s possible for me to talk about D’leah and not get a little bit angsty, I’m sorry. 😔 Anyway, Tenebrae/Vitiate/whatever you wanna call him definitely took the Ahaszaai by surprise, both she and Kissai had “funny feelings” about him but they really didn’t clock how big a threat he was until it was too late, and before she knew it, it’s just her, the twins, Abaron and maybe Vowrawn (tho until they go back to Kaas once the twins are grown she has no idea if Vowrawn’s alive or dead and can’t put the babies at risk going back to check 😭)

#Q&A with the crew #theme song ask meme #swtor oc: roan saal #swtor oc: ni'kasi ahaszaai #swtor oc: d'leah ahaszaai #sith inquisitor #sith pureblood #subterfugeverse #the ahaszaai family #i'm sorry that i had to make everything so angsty in an attempt to explain away the bullshit parts of the ''canon'' lore #they're having a much better time in the reverse!zephyrverse AU so i mean...i made it up to them. kinda. sorta.#XD

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aprilskyforever · 3 years

Text

Henny ranks Eurovision 2021: 1st edition, March 21st

aaaaadn we’re BACK! all songs have been out for about a week (well, still waiting for the set me free revamp so it’s the previous version i’ve ranked here) and i’ve had some time to think so let’s gooooo! also, i gotta say, with so many returning artists this year you can’t help but comparing last years to this. so... that’ll happen a lot.

category: hits the right spot

1 Malta - all of my love wasn’t really my thing last year but this? this is SO my jam! maybe not so much the attitude in the prechorus (the hell no i don’t want your money part), and the brass drop, but the beat in the verses? and the chorus melody (the baby it’s not a maybe part)? boy!!! i love it!!!! and this was a song i just yelled out YESSS to when i heard it the first time so i feel that means something 2 Sweden - a very worthy winner of melfest, he’s a great vocalist, he’s cute, and the song is one i’m yet to grow tired of despite it being on the radio 24/7. it happens so rarely that my personal winner actually wins melfest, and i really want us to get that silver medal... please 3 Switzerland - the only reason i don’t want this to win is because it has too much of a similar vibe as arcade and i don’t want that vibe to win twice in a row. otherwise it’s perfect 4 San Marino - finally san marino does somehting right!! i love it. plain and simple. 5 Norway - it’s looking like andreas haukeland is becoming my crush of the season because BOY i am WEAK for this guy. can’t resist him. nor the song 6 Russia - manizha has got the be the coolest woman this year. i’m in awe. i’m playing this on repeat 7 Iceland - i wasn’t super into this at a first listen but i’ve totally warmed up to this and along with russia it’s one of the songs i’ve streamed the most the last couple of days. daði really knows how to make a beat!

category: enjoying it for sure

8 Bulgaria - victoria was my winner last year but this song doesn’t hit just as right. i still like it, feels like a closing kind of song. like the last dance of the night 9 Lithuania - again, a downgrade from last year, but still really good 10 Moldova - i love the studio of this so much (i mean hello it sounds like something maruv would do how can i not like it) but the video makes me worried, can natalia dance? how about dance and sing at the same time? i really feel like she will be the weakest link in this package... and she really does feel like kirkorov’s puppet. which leaves a sour aftertaste 11 Italy - something different for italy!! love that. and i love them, måneskin. the song though... i’m eating it but it’s not my favourite meal you know? 12 Latvia - samanta does more or less the same song as last year but in her case it definitely works. it feels like her brand you know? she owns this 13 Netherlands - jeangu on the other hand is switching it up and i am HERE for it! lovely vibe. lovely aesthetic in the video 14 Germany - this is fun! i know it’s a water devider, you either love it or hate it, and i loved it initially but have cooled down a bit now. but it’s uplifting for me. i love what he’s got going on

category: it’s nice but something’s off

15 France - see this is beautiful, but it’s the ending that throws me off. it gets so... ridiculously french, in a way? do you get what i mean then 16 United Kingdom - fun! i’ll bop to it. but it’s like a chewing gum that loses flavour too quickly. i love that he’s doing something differently but honestly, i preferred his 2020 entry 17 Czech Republic - has a nice groove! i like this better than kemama but it actually feels kinda same as with the uk. 18 Ukraine - i preferred the pre-revamp but hey, it’s still miles better than last year for me personally so that’s a win 19 Slovenia - the way i felt at a first listen is what i imagine the jury felt for tamara todevska in 2019. it’s impactful for sure. but the lyrics!! not that i have a problem with the church but this is... idk a bit much. i like it as a whole but i’ll have no problem letting it go if it fails to qualify 20 Ireland - idk if it’s the production but whyyyy do lesley’s vocals sound so weird!! i definitely liked story of my life way more 21 Croatia - actually nothing’s really “off” about this it’s just a bit uninteresting 22 Azerbaijan - efendi is doing the same song again basically but this year it doesn’t hit right at all. to me it feels like it lacks personality. like, is this the only thing she can do? who is she actually? this just feels like a typical azeri approach to esc; ordering a song from swedish songwriters (which idek if they’ve done this year but it feels like it) and given it to some singer with no regard of if this is their usual style. idkkkk like i bop to it but it feels wrong at the same time 23 Belgium - it’s the chorus. i don’t like it. i like the rest. that’s all 24 Georgia - it’s cozy but too slowwwww. takes too long to get somewhere. perfect for a lazy summer day in a hammock but on the eurovision stage? oh i’m just not too sure

category: *shrug* it’s nice i guess?

25 Finland - i love that finland loves it but this just isn’t really for me 26 Romania - nahhh idk 27 Spain - cute i guess? i don’t have much to say 28 Cyprus - idk but this provokes me. it’s good but it’s bad. you know? the random spanish lyrics... or let’s be real the lyrics in general... and the melody sounding like walmart bad romance.. nope 29 Australia - i think montaigne’s style just isn’t for me 30 Austria - it’s alright! but not as powerful as i think he wants it to be 31 Albania - this is just very cookie-cutter albanian ballad with a screaming woman and it’s getting old

category: it’s a no from me

32 Greece - i’m so sorry but this is so forgettable i’ve heard this multiple times and i could only sing back like one or two lines to you 33 Denmark - the europals in the servers are eating this for some reason and i am just not seeing the appeal. props for sending something in danish though. sweden could learn a thing or two 34 Israel - hmm no this is just. boring 35 Serbia - i just can’t get around to this. i can enjoy slutpop but it’s gotta be good slutpop then 36 North Macedonia - the fact that i felt “ohh no no noooo” when i first heard it... yikes. i WILL applaud that vasil does something that feels more right for HIM though. it’s just not for me 37 Portugal - i don’t care that portugal doesn’t sing in portuguese but myyy this is boring 38 Estonia - /: 39 Poland - tvp’s poster boy... i read in the comments of his song that “this is not poland’s representative, this is tvp’s” or something like that and honestly. i felt that

#eurovision 2021 #eurovision ranking #aprilskyforever

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betweenthetimeandsound · 3 years

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Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#230-221)

#230: Dschinghis Khan -- Dschinghis Khan (Germany 1979)

"Die Hufe ihrer Pferde, die peitschten im Sand Sie trugen Angst und Schrecken in jedes Land Und weder Blitz noch Donner hielt sie auf"

"The hoofs of their horses, they lashed in the sand They carried fear and horror in every country And neither flash nor thunder stopped them"

One of my favorite songs to jam to is Boney M's "Rasputin". A disco-influenced song about the life of "Russia's greatest love machine", it's energetic while telling that of a myth. I mention this because Dschinghis Khan is compared to this often, in all the ways.

Only this time, it's about the great conqueror Chinghis Khan, who took over the whole universe (and lasted for a very long time). From how he struck fear across the steppe to fathering seven children in one night, he is seen as the embodiment of masculinity.

While entertaining, sometimes I'm put off by the gimmickry. It can be argued that it wouldn't age that well today, because it can be seen as culturally appropriative or mocking Mongolian culture. But for what it's worth, it's enjoyable and still a classic today.

Personal and actual ranking: 4th/19 in Jerusalem

#229: Louisa Baïleche -- Monts et Merveilles (France 2003)

“Oh, mon amour Où es-tu, mon amour?” “Oh, my love Where are you, my love?”

A definite case of love at first listen for me—Monts et Merveilles is a calming ballad, albeit with sad lyrics about the end of a relationship. The instrumentation is quite nice; it reminds me of songs that stood out on the charts during that time. It also had the "ethnic style" percussion in the bridge, which made me think that France Televisions wanted to mix what worked in the last two years (ballads) with the ethnic sounds from the 1990s (as Louisa is half Kablye, an Algerian ethnic group)

Despite it, it got a pretty low result—though it may be because 2003 was a stronger year songwise compared to the two years that came before it. Or it maybe because of the hair getting into her face that took away from the experience...

Personal ranking: 5th/26 Actual ranking: 18th/26 in Riga

#228: Hakol Over Habibi -- Halayla (Israel 1981)

"הלילה, הלילה, יהיה זה הלילה נאמר דברים שלא אמרנו מעולם"

"Tonight, tonight, it will be the night We’ll say things we’ve never said before"

On a random note, whenever I would search up Idan Raichel's "Hakol Over", Hakol Over Habibi would be one of the first search items that pop up. I would completely ignore it until now, when they actually participated in Eurovision!

That said, Halayla is very groovy song which plays with the disco vibe of the 1970s and the highly energetic choreography that would define 1980s Israeli Eurovision entries. The instrumentation is quite awesome, with the mix of piano, strings, and I think accordion setting up the vibe. (And it switches well from minor to major and back again , which can go awry when done wrong).

The members seem to have a ball on stage, and Kikki looks beautiful in her dress, which was fitted that way because she was pregnant at the time!

Personal ranking: 5th/20 (though it jumps around often...) Actual ranking: 7th/20 in Dublin

#227: Wind -- Laß die Sonne in dein Herz (Germany 1987)

"Manchmal bist du traurig und weißt nicht warum Tausend kleine Kleinigkeiten machen dich ganz stumm Du hast fast vergessen wie das ist, ein Mensch zu sein Doch du bist nicht allein"

"Sometimes you feel sad and you don’t know why Thousands of little reasons are making you dumb You nearly forgot what it’s like to be a human being But you are not alone"

Wind has the interesting distinction of participating three times and coming in second twice out of those three. The first one, "Fur Alle" was seen as such as a big contender that there were bets made against it winning. And then it didn't.

Laß die Sonne in dein Herz didn't come that close to winning in 1987, but I can argue it's the better song of the the three.

It catches you right away with the reggae influences, which creates a relaxed vibe throughout the song. It builds up well with every key change--it does get repetitive at times (especially with the choruses), but never boring. And while it shares a similar theme to Fur Alle, it doesn't come off as either derivative or charitys-single like.

(That said, I did grow to like Fur Alle eventually, but this one was more instantaneous.)

Personal ranking: 7th/22 Actual ranking: 2nd/22 in Brussels

#226: Charlotte Perrelli -- Hero (Sweden 2008)

“This is a story of love and compassion Only heroes can tell.”

The better Charlotte song, in my opinion. The song she won with, “Take Me to Your Heaven” is a complete vintage track, almost influenced by ABBA-nostalgia going on at the time. “Hero” , while still on the same schlager vein, modernizes the production a little bit, to the point I imagine it would be a good pop song of that era.

Alongside that, Hero has some compelling lyrics, one which could summarize the hero's journey in general. I wouldn't be surprised if somebody were to write a Eurovision jukebox musical, they would use this in some format.

That may be the case on why l like it better, but it could also be because it should’ve done better in the contest. The fact the jury wildcard saved Charlotte is a reason why they're around, but the fact there was a wildcard which kicked out the actual tenth placer (North Macedonia's Let Me Love You) could be totally flawed too.

Personal ranking: 6th/43 Actual ranking: =18th/25 (with France) in Belgrade

#225: Carlos Paião -- Playback (Portugal 1981)

“Podes não saber cantar nem sequer assobiar, Com certeza que não vais desafinar, Em play-back, em play-back, em play-back,”

“Maybe you don't know how to sing or even how to whistle But you won't sing out of tune for sure, In playback, in playback, in playback”

This is so modern and infectious it’s unbelievable. From the introduction to Carlos’ biting lyrics to the choreography, it makes one wonder why it got neglected in the voting. 1981 was a strong year, sure, but this song is definitely one of the best of that field.

Playback, as the title suggests, is about the pervasiveness of lip-synching in the music industry. One day, nobody will have to learn how to sing because the playback will save them. They can all focus on the performance without taking note of the song.

It's eerily relevant to Eurovision today, considering we don't use live music anymore and backing vocals can be mimed. I have mixed feelings about the latter, because one side argues it allows different genres of music to appear, but the other argues it reduces artistic credibility. I prefer having live vocals; if a delegation wants to use them on the track (e.g. looping), it should be on a case-by-case basis.

Maybe that's why it somehow made the ESC250 the last two years...

Personal ranking: 4th/20 Actual ranking: =18th/20 (with Turkey) in Dublin

#224: Emma -- La mia città (Italy 2014)

“E dimmi se c’è davvero una meta O dovrò correre per la felicità”

“And tell me if there really is a destination Or I have to run for happiness”

The black sheep of Italy’s post-comeback output, and coincidentally the only song completely chosen internally. That being said, La mia citta is still a good song, and for me it’s better than some of the fan-favorites out there.

Admittedly, I prefer the punchy verses to the chorus, with the latter reminding me of something out of P!nk's discography, but I revel on Emma’s energy and her letter to the city of Rome. We have struggles about the place we are from, but still try to sing its praises when we can!

The staging was a bit tacky at times, but I did like the aesthetics of it—particularly her laurel wreath. Her costume had a good concept also, but is also overdone it in terms of the bejeweled top.

(As for the Sanremo winner that year, Contravento, it feels like a bit of a grower. The clarinet intro really takes one in, but there has to be a whimsical, sweet staging to accompany the hopeful song. Had they done so, a left-side finish would've waited for them)

Personal ranking: 6th/37 Actual ranking: 21st/26 in Copenhagen

#223: Brigitta -- Open Your Heart (Iceland 2003)

“Everything you share with me Turns a little darkness into light And that is how we’re meant to be Truth will keep the light shining brighter”

Also known as, the woman who originally came from Husavik! The difference is that Birgitta was the lead singer of the group Irafar. Open Your Heart reminds me of songs that end up on DCOM (Disney Channel Original Movie) soundtracks—it can actually work in the end, but also in the beginning to introduce the characters and/or their circumstances. The random running order really helped it with being first, haha! Beyond that, it's an optimistic song, helped with the guitar influences which ground it in the era. Plus, the production and lyrics add to this feel, encouraging even the shiest to open up their feelings. Also, I like the flowery aesthetic that Birgitta has, from one in her hair to the larger one (which I think is real?) on her microphone. Personal ranking: 4th/26 Actual ranking: 8th/26 in Riga

#222: Tomas Ledlin -- Just nu! (Sweden 1980)

“Han vill dra iväg, kanske ner till Paris Och hitta äventyret på något vis Inte sitta här på stans konditori Och låta tankarna, bara fladdra förbi” “He wants to go away, perhaps down to Paris And find adventure somehow And not just sitting here at the local café Just letting the thoughts flutter by” The 1980s saw the genre New Wave come to vogue, and Just Nu was a valiant attempt on the genre, especially considering the direction Eurovision would go later. From the opening notes, I got the punkish notes from the instrumentation, and the lyrics definitely add to the feeling of being free from societal expectations, crying out "right now"! (which is funny, because I learned Romanian at one point and nu means no in the language. So I keep thinking it's "just no!" against conformity) Tomas also shows quite the attitude on stage--he just struts into the stage with a boyish charm and kickstarts the song. With his looks and usage of the microphone stand, he portrays this rebellious character well, though the orchestration could’ve been improved with the strings and flute. Personal ranking: 2nd/19 Actual ranking: 10th/19 in Den Haag

#221: Lea Sirk -- Hvala, ne! (Slovenia 2018)

“Moje ime je Lea in/Za vas imam nov lik!” “My name is Lea/ And I have a new character for you!”

I love the opening lines for this song—it immediately sets the tone and has a strong statement alongside it. She's Lea, and she won't let anything down on She asserts that she can’t be sold out, and has a great attitude to accompany the trap beat, which reminds me of a K-pop song for some reason. The staging fits the song to a T--though it didn't need any changes from the NF, haha. As for the fake break, I don't have any strong opinions on it, but it definitely kept up interest for the song. A nicer touch was the Portuguese line in the end. Either way, it was a surprise qualifier in its semi that year, and it was one surprise that I greatly welcomed. Hvala da!

Personal ranking: 8th/43 Actual ranking: 22nd/26 GF in Lisbon

#esc 250 #esc top 250 #esc germany #esc france #esc israel #esc sweden #esc portugal #esc italy #esc iceland #esc slovenia #three minutes to eternity #eurovision song contest

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strrawberrymoon · 4 years

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name / alias : leigh gender / pronouns : female + she/her where ya from ? : europe 👀 the current time : 18:53 height : 164 cm, i think that’s 5′4 job or major : double major in sociology and media communications, still grinding pet ( s ) : two dogs! one is a 7 year old maltese and the other a 3 year old cane corso favorite thing ( s ) about yourself : im a great listener and i give great advice, i’m straighforward which some people don’t like but oh well, i’m pretty adaptable. i got some nice titties any special talents ? : i can roll my tounge in any direction + crack a lot of knuckles ajkdshaj

why you joined hqclouds : i’ve been itchng to write more lately, so when love told me about their group i thought i’d give it a shot !!

meaning behind url : strawberry moon was just a recent occurance irl which was really cool + i associate marinette with strawberries for some reason, and i’m a big fan of the lady moon

last thing you googled : i’m having some issues with my michrophone and zoom so i googled how to fix it, but no dice

birthday / zodiac : leo ! my birthday is august 11th in your opinion , does your sign suit you ? : yes and no. leo’s are very misunderstood imo, but each sign has the “more popular” or well known traits and then there’s the flipside of the coin—which i think suits me more myers - briggs : ISFP / INFP moral alignment : chaotic idiot hogwarts house : gryffindor

three fictional character ( s ) you see yourself in + why : i honestly see myself in katara from atla, the whole smothering mothering routine. it’s becoming a regular thing for my friends to say “thanks, mom” or “ok, mom” so i guess i’m the mom friend. also fred weasly... he’s a twin.. i’m a twin... that’s all i need. and lastly, and very leastly, neil josten from all for the game series. most of you probably don’t know it, but he’s a demisexual chaotic idiot who says “i’m fine” way too much for someone who is most definitely not fine.

i started roleplaying : probably when i was around 16-17 was my first official roleplay experience. it was on facebook and kind of a nightmare types of rps i enjoy : i like college stuff and small town rps, but i also love plot heavy rps that push you into developing your muse. really anything that isn’t too restricting favorite fcs to use : i don’t have go-to faceclaims. i tend to make a character around a FC and then use them until i lose muse or just feel like they need to rest. switch it up a lot, but some faces that i’ve really enjoyed playing for a longer amount of time are steven kelly, cindy mello and ellen v. lora fandom ( s ) you’d like to write in : i want to write in all of the fandoms i know nothing about and look like a dumbass. also harry potter, the hunger games, avatar the last airbender, gossip girl, etc etc fandom ( s ) you aren’t in but are curious about : marvel somewhat, any video games are very fascinating to me even though i’m not a gamer + know nothing about them, any distopian kind of fandom re: hunger games

share a funny roleplay horror story : recently an admin of a twitter rp tried to use my male muse for their weird ship narrative. they tried to make him look like an asshole (& i do play assholes but this one wasn’t one) + used another male muse to make it seem as if these two boys were fighting over the person’s girl, even though she actually had a ship all lined up. they were also running the gossip twitter, so they made up a bunch of stuff about our muses without our consent and consequently i told them to fuck off, and both of us left the group. then she had no more “groupies” so she cuffed and the group closed two days later. it was petty hilarious.

fondest roleplay memory : once in an OC group, i wasn’t “technically” doing a ship with a friend, even though the characters had feelings for each other. but for some reason the status of their relationship was a hot topic group wide, meaning everybody had their nose in it and wanting to know what’s up, so they publically kept doing things to make people think they’re together while denying it in the same breath. it was really fun to let it play out like that.

favorite canon muse ( s ) to play : roy mustang from fullmetal alchemist, katara from atla, and my baby marinette favorite original muse ( s ) to play : the last original character i played and fell in love with was named alex. im obsessed with him. still doing 1 x 1 with his girlfriend. they’re having a baby, it’s all very emo and domestic. maybe i make him relapse for funsies. canon ships you can’t help but love : lupin x tonks from harry potter, korra x asami from legend of korra, danerys x daario naharis from game of thrones, katniss x peeta from the hunger games, etc... trope ( s ) you tend to be guilty of : i use the rich kid douchebag stereotype a lot. i also make a lot of my characters addicted to something to make them struggle with that.

i prefer . . . angst , smut , or fluff : bro... i am a sucker for ansgt and smut. i do fluff on special ocassions >:) long or short replies : i prefer when they start out shorter, but medium is my fave pre plotting or chemistry : chemistry all the way. plotting can be really fun but it’s a miss more often than a hit for me. plotting can be good for pre-established relationships but that’s about it sentence starters or headcanon memes : sentence starters single muse or multimuse blogs : i’ve never done a multimuse blog, and i’ve actually been super against them in the past, but i’m starting to change my mind hehe gif icons , medium gifs , or static icons : static (or none honestly)

grab the book nearest to you and pull a quote from it : ❝ You were children. was there no one to protect you? ❞ — ❝ Was there no one to protect you? ❞

what’s a quote or song lyric that speaks to your soul ? : ❝ I loved her, and sometimes, she loved me too ❞

top current celebrity crushes : zendaya, margot robbie always last movie you watched : 365 days (2020) did you like it ? : i hated it, what a waste of a perfectly good 2 hours favorite movie ( s ) of all time : harry potter franchise makes me nostalgic, perks of being a wallflower, my sister’s keeper favorite tv show ( s ) of all time : for some reason i’m obsessed with grey’s anatomy but i hate it favorite tv show that hasn’t ended : well fricking grey’s anatomy favorite series of books / novels / comics : the hunger games, harry potter sports team ( s ) you rep : my friend is into sports i rep her ksdsdj favorite video game ( s ) : the sims. i like playing animal crossing vicariously through switch owners favorite youtube channels : don’t usually keep up with yt channels but i just binged some stuff from psychology in seattle hobbies : procrastinating

what are the three non essential things you’d bring to a deserted island ? : sunglasses, hairtie, hand cream

put your music on shuffle. what six songs pop up ? :

say goodbye by skillet,

off the grid by alina baraz & khalid,

bury a friend by billie eilish,

break up with your girlfriend by ariana grande

get back by nine lashes

marry you by bruno mars (man)

personal aesthetic : growing out my hair only to always wear it in a bun dream vacation ? : i just wanna go to the seaside with my friends dream job ? : i literally can’t stand capitalism. wanna move to italy and collect berries and draw titties all day dream car ? : something that drives itself if i could live anywhere , it’d be : somewhere in canada near the woods favorite musical : mama mia? counts favorite food ( s ) : bananaaaaas, ice cream, cereal. these are all foods ok coffee order : i don’t drink coffee unwatched stuff in your netflix / hulu / etc : 13 reasons why (i’m too bored), the flash, outer banks, elite, the half of it, intersteller, locke & key aaand some stuff that’s not mine but someone else using my account

what’s a subject you know too much about + never get tired of talking about ? : idk anything about anything askldhl

#CLOUD:OOC #i am doing this now bc im avoiding studying #but it was fun hehehe #i still need to figure out a tagging system + write up an intro #which let us not kid ourseleves i'll probably end up doing by tonight #╰ ♡ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐨𝐟𝐟 ↷ ooc.

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taste-in-music · 4 years

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Strap in folks, we’re going to Cape God.

It’s here, folks! Allie X is keeping us well fed with new content. Ever since stumbling across the “Paper Love” video on YouTube a few years ago, I’ve been in love with Ms. X’s moody, eccentric brand of electropop. The singles for this album have really sucked me in and I haven’t done one of these longer reactions to an album in months, (I think the last official one was to Charli?) Listen to album along with me if you want, and let’s get right to it.

Fresh Laundry

We’re starting off with a single I see.

I love the spare, bass-heavy production on this track. The way the bright synth riffs and swarming backing vocals cut in and out builds such a creepy, tense atmosphere.

God I love it when she does those little shouts of “hey!” in songs. It’s one of the reasons I love “Good” off of Collxtion I so much.

Devil I Know

Not gonna lie, I’m not too hot on this track. Not that it’s bad, it’s just kind of bland. “You are the devil I know / Better than a devil I don’t” just isn’t a strong enough lyric for me to fully get behind.

But dang if she doesn’t sell it. Her vocals are great on this track.

Regulars

This was probably my favorite single leading up to the album. The groove is so tight, it balances a propulsive quality with a chillness at the same time.

In short, it’s a bop to slit throats to.

THE BASS LINE ON THIS SONG IS SO GOOOOD. I’m seeing her in concert in a few months and I can’t wait to hear this bass line rattle my ribcage live and in person.

The way the instrumental builds up with the glittering keys and snare under Allie’s vocal gymnastics? Art.

Sarah Come Home

We’re getting our first non-single! I’m so excited.

The chorus comes out of nowhere. It did not have to go that hard. And yet it did.

Whistles! Record cracks! Flutes! Fluttery backing vocals! I’m into it. It feels like I’m in a haunted pound cake commercial from the 1950s.

This song is giving me flashbacks to the bubbly feel of Collxtion I a bit. It’s a switch-up from the first three songs in the best kind of way. It’s such an upbeat bop.

Rings a Bell

We’ve got another single here.

The several crackling percussive elements in the mix, (especially the clave,) are amazing. Matched with the low bells, glistening chimes, and churning bass, it all comes together for a creeping, cryptic tune that never stops marching forward.

This song slaps with headphones on. The whispers on the bridge are heaven.

June Gloom

This song charges right out of the gate. It knocked me clean off my feet with the first note.

There are so many things going on in this song. There might be a saxophone? I’m not sure.

I have no clue how I feel about this song. It might be a mess, but I also might love it. I’ll have to give it several more listens in order to collect my thoughts.

Love Me Wrong ft. Troye Sivan

I always found this song a little dull, but it does its job as a ballad. The build in dynamics with the distorted synths help pick up the pace.

If there’s anything to praise about this song, it’s the performances. Allie and Troye sound lovely here, and they sound lovely together.

Allie’s range really gets to shine. She’s hitting the high notes. She’s hitting the low notes. She’s hitting me right in the heart.

Super Duper Party People

Let’s cut to the chase. Allie X is doing slam poetry about “a lady in a hat with a Siamese cat and a really, really bouncy butt” over a disco loop.

Fun fact: Allie X actually had to change recording studios midway through making this album because the beat to this song was so fire the studio burned down.

This song is like if you asked Brooke Candy to write “Here” by Alessia Cara. It’s so absurd that it loops back to being great.

Susie Save Your Love ft. Mitski

There is no song on this album I am more excited for than this one. There is no collaboration this year I am more excited for than this one.

THE BASS. God help me.

MITSKI IS HERE. I am ascending. I wasn’t sure how the two would sound together because their bodies of work are so different, but Mitski’s cooing, more grounded vibe works very nicely in contrast with Allie’s brighter and otherwordly tones.

IDK how I feel about that distorted guitar. Everything else is really good. This didn’t disappoint!

Life of the Party

Okay, pick up the pace! I’m getting some 60s vibes from this.

I was grooving along with the beat but oh my god these lyrics... they’re so troubling and dark. I’ve always said that putting sad lyrics over dance music makes them all the sadder, and well, this song proves that sentiment true.

That slurred, autotuned bridge hits hard. Wow.

Jesus, this song turned out to be an emotional gut punch that I did not expect.

Madame X

We’re getting a ballad moment here.

Those sparkly synth arpeggios in the mix. It’s straight-up ear candy. The audio equivalent of Sprite.

So she’s singing to a “Madame X...” Is she talking to her stage persona? To herself? Someone else? Is it a clue into a new era? Lots to think about with the lyrics here.

Learning in Public

Oh this is a total driving jam. It’s just the right balance of relaxing and energetic that keeps you chill and alert at the same time. I can practically see the open highway in front of me.

Not only that, but it’s all about being insecure in social settings. Same Allie. Same.

I love how the first lyric is “I want to be near fresh laundry / It’s been too many years of not folding“ and the last one is “Everything I thought I wanted / I changed my mind and I forgot it all.” Okay recurring themes! I love it when albums do that.

This might be one of my new favorite tracks.

My Thoughts Summarized: If there’s any one thing this album is, it’s cohesive. It takes you to a place and keeps you there, even as it explores different sonic textures and emotions. I loved how the solid mix of uptempo and downtempo tracks this album had, with both bops and ballads. While the production can feel a bit crowded at times, it also has moments where its lush, energetic, and memorable. Overall, this album marks a clear evolution for Allie X, but it’s also so viscerally hers. I can’t imagine anyone else making it.

God I love the visuals for this album. The whole couture private school meets feral goth forest nymph aesthetic drives me bananas, I’m obsessed. Major props to photographer Brendon Burton, who she worked with for the promo photos during this album’s roll out.

What did you think of Cape God? Agree or disagree? Comment or reblog with your thoughts, I’m excited to hear what you think.

#music #album review #allie x #cape god #taste in music

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celawrites · 4 years

Text

Day 31

bRRRINGGG

“What the fuck it’s 7 in the morning on a Saturday”

“Heard you got a date”

“Who’s this?”

“Este-”

“Goodnight call me in an hour then we can talk”

“WaIT I LITERALLY GOT UP EARLY FOR YOU-”

Call ended.

I doze off again. It’s short-lived, considering that Estelle knows the password to my home and barges in with Beanie and Misty to prep me for a 3am date. Please let me live I’m just trying to vibe and get those tablecloths HHHHH.

“wAKE UP SLEEPING BEAUTY IT’S TIME TO GET PREPPED”

“The hang out is at 3am on Sunday let me sleep please I’m gonna need it”

“Wait. SUNDAY?”

“If that stalker chat that you, Z, A, and Mint have heard me, it’s on Sunday”

“Wait I was so sure it was on Saturday”

“I told Sun last minute to change it to Sunday night.”

“That’s boring”

“Then let me sleep. Please”

“30 minutes. And since you’re gonna be vibing on early Monday morning, we’re switching the hang out date to today”

“You know what. Get out let me take out my contacts and retainers and we can go somewhere. You’ve somehow woken me up already”

“Meet us downstairs then”

“Mhm”

I take an antagonizingly slow time to get ready and Misty almost breaks my bedroom door down to murder me. I open the door before she gets the chance to though.

“Alright let’s go”

“Look at you! All dolled up”

“I’m literally just wearing the outfit I ordered off of the internet the other day”

“The really aesthetic one? OH WE SHOULD GO TO ONE OF THOSE MINIMALIST CAFES”

“uHhh?”

“Wait search for a place we can ditch J for the day.”

“Girls day out?”

“Girls day out”

I text Sun a quick ‘can’t wait for tomorrow!’ and a reminder that I like him. Misty searches for a place before remembering somewhere.

“That one cafe in uh. The super minimalist one?”

“Oh the Korean one right?”

“Yeah.”

“Who’s driving”

“Not me-”

“I’ll drive. I have the most stamina out of us all” Beanie pipes up.

“Lifesaver”

“We LOvE YoUUU”

“Mhm sure you do”

“Taking back my words”

“nOOOO IM SORRY”

The drive to the cafe is just a vibe. It feels like summer in the car. The way you scream to lyrics with your friends, drive on a near empty highway, and just vibe. I miss my younger years but also look forward to the ones ahead.

“We’re here”

“Already?”

“The highway was nearly empty today”

“True”

The cafe visit is simple. It’s soft, and there’s alot of things you want to do. But of course, photos come first. There’s at least 20 photos taken before we all settle down and have our coffee. We’re catching up on college letters when an awfully familiar voice cuts me out.

“What are you doing here?”

“Madison?”

“Are you stalking me?”

“Pfft. Her stalking you? That’s entertaining” Beanie cuts her off before I can say anything.

A boy walks in after her.

“Hey babe I just parked the car what did you want-”

I tilt my head in confusion. Wasn’t this Rain? He doesn’t know what Serenity looks like but I know how he looked because of his submission of being an editor.

I fumble out my phone and text Rain immediately.

Clown: rAIN RAIN DID YOU GET A GIRLFRIEND?

Rain: Wait how did you know-

Clown: Wait I thought you lived in NY?

Rain: I do? Did something happen?

Clown: I met someone who looks like you He isn’t on his phone though so nvm

Rain: Alright then Lmk if you need anything else

Clown: Thank you!

“This girl right here. Is stalking me” Madison pouts and glares at me.

“Is she one of your fans?”

“I don’t know. I told you I never told anyone about my identity!” she whines.

“Sorry babe, you know it’s hard”

I take a look at her boyfriend. He’s probably around 6 feet tall, has brown eyes, and he looks painfully familiar. Someone of my past perhaps? I shake those thoughts away as I reel back into the conversation from earlier.

“Sorry about that anyways”

“Oh that new movie that’s coming out! I’m so excited for it” Es cheers.

“Oh definitely. They were long overdue for a movie. Wonder how the box office is going to do”

“I know”

“Ever the money counter eh?”

“I want them to make good money. They deserve a good sale after how well their anime has been doing”

“I can’t believe we actually get that old man animated tho”

“You thirsty ass hoe”

“I’m hurt”

“Love you too”

The conversation carries on and it isn’t until it’s nearly 4pm that we actually consider heading home. Maybe there were things that made a group of people special to you. Maybe I had finally found somewhere I can call home.

Serenity posted!

(image attached)

A glimpse of what I look like! I felt confident enough to show you all how my body looks. I have suffered from poor body image when I was a bit younger but I want you all to know that you’re all pretty! You all bring a smile to my face all the time so I wanted you to know that you are loved <3

your favorite penpal, Serenity

Previous : Masterlist : Next

#writing #i dont wanna tag everything hhh #fluff #first person #365 days #365 days of rejection #365 days of writing #project #quarantine project #crying bc why did I agree to this #uh vibing with friends #fiction

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songofadaydream · 4 years

Text

my real-time thoughts on rocketman the 4th time I’ve seen it in total and 2nd time this week, let’s go bois *very long post warning*

fair warning I just finished jojo rabbit less than an hour ago and it was way more emotional than I expected, so she’s probably going to be an emotional wreck tonight ladies!! :)) also, I will be pausing the movie throughout! just wanted to let you know

starting the night out right with some lay’s salt and vinegar chips and a lush face mask

not even a part of the movie but when the studio logos come on a version of goodbye yellow brick road and just *french kiss*

it’s starting and I am here for it!!

taron comes looking like an icon and a snack. actually, a whole meal. the heart glasses omggg

“how long’s this gonna take.” “that’s really up to you.”

i never noticed this before but taron stares right into the camera as he introduces himself

“my name is elton hercules john. and I’m an alcoholic. and a cocaine addict. and a sex addict. and a bulimic. i’m also a shopaholic who was problems with weed, prescription drugs, and anger management.”

“well my dealer was out of town I thought this seemed like a good alternative,”

“and I wanted to get better.”

um the transition into the full on musical number of the bitch is back.

this tiny little child actor playing elton saying bitch 10 million times. props to his parents for letting him do that.

um also his riffs??

just the way his mom says, “love to.”

god his dad is a DOUCHE

“when are you going to hug me”🥺🥺

the flashlight conducting scene!! they’re playing rocketman and it’s so beautiful and cute!! whe lil reggie/elton gets on the mini piano oh my god

when he looks at his mom’s fashion magazines...gay fashion icon beginnings...

*looks up* “can we go home,”

he starts playing his teacher’s song and she’s just like 😦😦

idk if this is an unpopular opinion but I don’t really like the I want love scene. I just don’t really like the switching of singer, the arrangement, and tempo. just my opinion though :/ also that’s the only weak scene of this movie I think

elton’s grandmother appreciation post send tweet

that last I want love though.

when his mom is clearly getting it on in a car and her date is like, “I’m..,,..a friend of.,.,,..your mum’s,.,,”

his dad leaves. heartbreaking!

when he wipes the tear away...

“i discovered records. and rock and roll :)”

playing classical music with an elvis presley haircut is an aesthetic no I don’t take criticism

“excuse me. you can’t put that there,” “why not,” “it’ll get knocked off.”

when he transforms into teenage elton and an amazing musical/dance number starts

that face taron makes when the door shuts on the car

“it’s not just your name. you gotta kill the person you were born to be in order to become the person you wanna be.”

that kiss with one of the band members is so hot.

peeing in a bottle in disgusting I’m sorry.

“what’d you say your name was again?” “elton.” “elton. elton what.” “john. elton john.”

ray is cute af. also the transcendental moment when he hands elton the envelope with bernie’s lyrics in it.

“one frothy coffee, no froth.”

jamie is so cute what the heckkkk

singing streets of loredo in a cafe is so wholesome and adorable

holy sHIT BORDER SONG IS STARTING

bernie and elton are literally so cute together as friends omg

also completely digging these like early 70s silk scarf things.

“yeah I could just take those songs and leave if you like,”

“what about the fact that you’re a f*g...your little friend here...is a homosexual.”

bernie not caring whether or not elton is is gay is Peak Pure ™

“oH fUcK”

when they stumble home drunk. the cuteness I can’t.

“you are a ssshhHHITT hot piano player, you have an aMAZING voice, and I’m telling you there is something special that happens...when you sing our songs.”

the way the two handle elton’s leaning in for a kiss is SO GOOD and I could write an entire essay on it. “we became inseparable after that. the brother I never had.”

“anyway I took his advice. told arabella. she took it quite well actually,” *cut to her throwing his piano out the window* “sHe KiLlEd mY pIaNo”

your song and everything about that scene is perfection. that’s all I have to say.

“you can’t just sPRING the troubadour on me.”

“put on a great

fucking

show. and just don’t kill yourself with drugs?”

amoreena is so good how didn’t I realize this until now!

doug flirting w/bernie kills me every time.

“ooh dude. what the hell’re you wearing?”

“my stage gear.”

*bernie stumbles in drunk* “reggie! reggie reggie. neil diamond is at the bar he’s talkin to leon russell and half the fuckin beach boys eh??”

“jesus sHIT bernie,”

that little, “well come on then,” after being yelled by bernie & ray

“please welcome all the way from london, england...”

ELTON JOHN

when he starts singing it’s like the smoothest molasses ever and I am HERE for it.

there’s an interview where taron says, and I quote, “those dungarees made my ass look massive” wholeheartedly agree my guy. but in best way possible

when they start floating

elton’s jacket and the magic that is the entirety of tiny dancer <3 <3

there’s a whole ass bed in a tipi?? what the hell

“so you like the songs then?” “not quite as much as the singer,” OH SHIT THE GAY TENSION

“there are moments in a rockstar’s life that defines who he is...and it’s going to be a wild ride,”

it’s a weird scene to like but I really love the take me to the pilot love scene. the song is so good and perfect for that moment, and they seem genuinely attracted to each other (even though john ends up being a huge dick later)

the way he takes the glasses off

the lil race to get their pants off is weird but it works

elton just seems so happy and content at the end and it’s so refreshing.

when he gets the shoes and the glasses <3

he looks so happy and fulfilled my little boy

why is it so cute when he and Kiki record don’t go breaking my heart

elton stops it the SECOND he sees John oh my goddd

kiki’s little “ough” when she sees john

“elton what’s going on are we going again or should we go for a pint,” *sees john walk into the closet* “yeah no yeah you should go for a pint”

HONKY CAT IS ONE OF IF NOT THE BEST SCENES/SONGS IN THE ENTIRE FILM THERE I SAID IT

cocaine induced head butt of a soccer ball is iconic

why did they have to get rid of rayyyy

the, “best of luck to you elton,” is so bitter yet genuinely well-wishing??

“welp...that was *absolutely* horrible,” is such a mood

the scene where he goes to come out to his dad is so incredibly heartbreaking, especially when it cuts to him in rehab.

taron deserves an oscar just for throwing that chair alone.

“what have you got to do the get a fucking drink around here, eh?” and then he takes a swig from a bottle in the car with john

when he calls his mom to come out. that shit hurts.

“i just hope you realize you’re choosing a life of being alone forever...you’ll never be loved properly.” he opens his mouth. it’s so awful guys. and then he fucking gets punched by john what an absolute dick.

“real love’s hard to come by. so you find a way to cope without it.”

the scene that comes right after that when he’s getting ready for his show and snorts cocaine and takes a swig of a drink really shows how far off the deep end he had gone. it’s heartbreaking, really.

“PEOPLE DON’T PAY TO SEE rEgInALd dWiGhT THEY PAY TO SEE ELTON JOHN. DON’T EVER TELL ME HOW TO DO MY FUCKING JOB.” “WRITE THE FUCKING LYRICS, BERNIE. LET ME DEAL WITH THE REST,” “i’m sorry,” “i know.”

that headdress tho

ok but pinball wizard absolutely slaps and so does the montage with all of his changing outfits

oh my god the drag queen in his room though

NONONONO JOHN IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE FUCKING CHEATING ON HIM IT IS NOT OKAY.

what an inconvenient time for his mom to waltz in

“and what a shy little boy you were! look at you now.”

“mum you’re ON my GOWN,”

i wish i were as cool as bernie getting out of that car and coming inside

“yEaGhHhH...go get a lil drink. yehyeh,”

get ready for one of the most impactful scenes of 2019 if not the 2010s ladies

“FOR MY NEXT TRICK i’m gonna fucking kill myself.”

again, I could write an entire essay on this but the fact that he is literally hitting rock bottom with his childhood self down there is so impactful and powerful and one of the greatest artistic choices they made in this film. also the cinematography is gorgeous.

and oh, by the way, taron actually performed this underwater. no cgi or special effects. where is his oscar.

john is a dick to him on the stretcher but bernie looks so genuinely concerned for his friend and I love that.

it is absolutely gut wrenching when they pump his stomach.

THE CINEMATOGRAPHY AND ANGLES AND SILHOUETTES WHEN IT GETS TO THE BIG CHORUS PART IS SO SO SO INCREDIBLY GOOD AND AMAZING AND I WILL NEVER, EVER GET OVER IT.

the nurses getting him ready for what was probably his biggest/most iconic performance to date is something so incredible, and such a great choice cinematically, story wise, and really emotion wise too. he was at his absolute rock bottom and did one of if not the most iconic performance a little over 24hrs later, and I think this little part really helps to illustrate that.

taron actually hit that baseball and I’m so proud of him for it.

the liftoff is so great. and then it cuts to him in a plane with smoke on his head which just. ugh.

hot take: elton’s addiction wouldn’t have gotten so bad if he had just gone to bernie’s fucking ranch with him

THE QUEEN OUTFIT IS SO ICONIC IM SORRY

also if this movie doesn’t win the goddamn best costume design I swear to god.

YES BENNIE AND THE JETSSSSS

this is also such a great scene as well omg.

when he flashbacks to his childhood and difficult and also great moments in his life during this sequence. that hit hard.

i feel like no one talks about taron’s arms enough? they as thiccc as his thighs why y’all sleeping on them

“You signed a contract with me years ago, so I’ll still be collecting my 20% long after you’ve killed yourself.” that’s cold as hell.

when he throws that glass at the door. and then victim of love starts playing straight afterwards UGH dexter fletcher you need to STOP and CALM DOWN

listen I don’t know elton was thinking and/or feeling in terms of life and his sexuality when he decided to marry renata but can we talk about his wedding outfit?? wtffff it’s so gay and if you don’t see it you’re blind.

the look his mom gives him I’m DEAD

they literally had separate rooms this was not a normal marriage. the breakfast scene is so sad though.

“did being married make you happy?” “not really, I’m gay.” hands down one of the most iconic lines in the entire movie.

why does he have sperm on this firework suit coat.

“you know I am so sick of running away from who I am.”

the way his voice wavers and cracks is not okay. and neither is his mom twisting everything around so that she’s made out to be the victim. and don’t cry in the bathroom elton please buddy. you’ll be okay.

“campaign to kill yourself is going well, eh?”

“when did you give up? if you don’t care about yourself how can you expect anyone else to...it’s not weak to ask for help.”

goodbye yellow brick road is such a beautiful song and scene and why didn’t we get Jamie to sing more I mean come on he does so incredibly well in this scene.

also I didn’t really realize that they flipped a few verses around for the movie. and elton yelling and screaming at bernie as he leaves is so powerful.

elton yelling at himself.

this is also when he has a heart attack?? chest infection?? I don’t really know but he falls down the stairs and Mr. Dick Manager John makes him continue to perform.

and there he is in the first scene’s costume. singing the rest of yellow brick road.

and there he goes. off to rehab. a full circle moment. good for him for finally taking control of his life and addictions.

“yeah but I started acting like a c*nt in 1975. I just forgot to stop.”

“maybe I should’ve tried to be more ordinary.” his grandmother walks in. “he was never ordinary.” my. heart. can. not. take. this.

this next scene where he talks to everyone in his mind is incredibly powerful and I will shout it from the rooftops until the end of time.

“my problem is that I believed you loved me. and you’re incapable of it.” the SHADE

“actually I think I’m okay with strange.”

BERNIE COMES IN MY LOVE

“bernie...I never told you how much I need you.” shit fam here comes the waterworks

“you just need to remember who you are. and be okay with it.”

and then his childhood self comes in. “I haven’t been reggie Dwight for years.” “when are you going to hug me.” he engulfs his young self in a hug. this is one of the best moments of the film and I am now full on crying.

I can’t get over how wholesome bernie’s visit is with Elton. the sweetest thing ever.

“you’re not scared you’re not good without it, you’re scared to feel again...this is the part you gotta do on your own. these...need music”

“thank you bernie.” “you’re my brother.” <3

and then he finally sits down to write again. and it’s pure magic.

I’m still standing is a a feat of what he’s been through the entire movie. finally, he’s sober, he’s accepting of himself/his sexuality, and is getting to a better place. plus, it mirrors the original music video, and is everything I’ve ever needed and more. *the* perfect scene and song to end upon.

he’s so happy at the end. and then the epilogue starts and says he’s been sober for 28 years and counting, set up an aids charity, still writes with bernie, met his husband David 25 years ago and is finally loved properly (rip my heart out of my chest, why don’t you), has two sons and is retiring from touring. and and the I’m gonna love me again plays with him and taron and it’s just such a perfect song to end, and I can’t.

so. those are my thought while watching rocketman for the 4th time in total, 2nd time this week. sorry that’s it’s so long. I just love this film so much. anyways, it’s almost 2am and I’m an emotional wreck. I’m gonna go cry and go to bed now. thanks for making it this far. :) <3

#elton john rocket man #eltonjohn #sir elton john #elton john #taron egerton #taronegerton #taron egerton rocketman #70s music #musical biopic #musical fanatasy #rocketman review #rocketman movie review #movie review #film review #music review #film analysis #film exposé

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deadlygoddess85 · 4 years

Text

More about me!

Say this somewhere and I thought I’d tell you more about me!

1. Name: Joanie

2. Nationality: French Canadian

3. Age: 35

4. Birthday: October 20th

5. Zodiac sign: Libra

6. Gender: Woman

7. Sexuality: I don’t define myself by any word describing sexuality.

8. Your looks: Meh...it’s my look, I don’t care if you like it or not.

9. What do you: I’m an assistant director of a company

10. What's your current job like? It’s ok, I guess. Very challenging!

11. Your birth order: Youngest

12. How many siblings do you have? 1, but my brother is unfortunately deceased

13. Do you have good relations with your family? Yes

14. How many friends do you have? a few

15. Your relationship status: Married

16. What do you look for in a SO? Someone who will pull-up with my shit :p (and I found him soooo...)

17. Do you have a crush? yes

18. When did you have your first kiss? I was 17

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? Serious and meaningful...

20. What are your deal breakers? Douche who can’t respect their s/o, bad hygiene, someone who can’t get along with my family.

21. How was your day? Meh...pretty quiet.

22. Favourite food & drink: home cooked food, water, soda.

23. What position do you sleep in? on my left side most of the time.

24. What was your last dream about? Ateez :p

25. Your fears: The dark

26. Your dreams: Right now? It would be for Covid to be done, so I could go visit my friends.

27. Your goals: To be happy!!!

28. Any pets? A cat, Lilo!

29. What are your hobbies? Gaming, writing, DnD, baking, cooking, listening music.

30. Any cool places in your area? Yes! We have “Les Passerelles” but they are unfortunately closed right now because of Covid. We have the pier, the whole downtown area.

31. What was your last awkward situation? I tried to quite a job I don’t really like, but the manager didn’t want me to leave....like, dude, let me go!

32. What is your last regret? It all involve my past...

33. Language/s you can speak: English, French and a bit of Spanish, Oh and I knew a few Korean words :P...

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? Kinda

35. Have any quirks? A LOT!!!

36. Your pet peeves: I’m stubborn..like A LOT!!!

37. Ideal vacation: Anywhere as long as i’m with goo people

38. Any scars? No

39. What does your last text message say? Ok thanks - From my dad

40. Last 5 things from your search history: Rage of Light / Eleine / Tumblr / YouTube / Spotify

41. What's your [device] background? Not sure I understand this question...

42. What do you daydream about? Everything...I’m an hopeless romantic and I daydream all the time.

43. Describe your dream home: Doesn’t need to be big, but I’d have an amazing gaming room ;)

44. What's your religion: I don’t have any religion. I believe in a power greater than man, life is mysterious.

45. Your personality type: Funny, friendly, easy going.

46. The most dangerous thing you've done: Staying with a violent alcoholic for 7 years

47. Are you happy with your current life? Mostly...

48. Some things you've tried in your life: ??? This is a very vague question, I’ve tried many things...what do you want to know specifically?

49. What does your wardrobe consist of? Skinny jeans, shirts, combat boots.

50. Favourite colour to wear? black, purple, red.

51. How would you describe your style? tomboy-ish

52. Are you happy with your current looks? Yes!

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? Getting a sexier body.

54. Any tattoos or piercings? 16 tattoos, 0 piercing

55. Do you get complimented often? Not really.

56. Favourite aesthetic? Anything grungy, gothic type etc..

57. A popular trend that you dislike: Ugh...I don’t want to start on that!

58. Songs you're currently obsessed with? Reason to believe - Arch enemy / All shall burn - Eleine / Middle of the night - Monsta X.

59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like: My oh my - Aqua

60. Favourite genre? Everything, really!!!

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? Ateez

62. Hated popular songs/artists? WAP - Cardi B

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5: That’s what’s working right now - Trent Tomlingson / We know the way - Opetaia Foa’i / Try - Pink / Say you’ll be there - Spice Girls / PAPI - Isabela Merced.

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? I can sing!!!

65. Do you like karaoke? Yes

66. Own any albums? Yes Ateez albums

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? Yes - NRJ 102.3

68. Favorite movie/series? Along with the gods: The two worlds. / Lucifer

69. Favorite genre of movies/books/etc: I don’t have any favorite.

70. Your fictional crush/es: Park Sae-royi - Itaewon class

71. Which fictional character is you? Robin Schabowski - How I met your mother...(I think...)

72. Are you a shipper? Meh

73. Favorite greek god(dess)? Aphrodite

74. A legend from where you live that you like: The legend of “La Chasse Galerie”

75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist? Yes and idk

76. Can you share your other social media? NO

77. Favourite youtubers? Markiplier / Tingting ASMR / Dancing Bacon

78. Favourite platform? Twitter / Youtube

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? Too much

80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite? Borderlands series - Skyrim - Fallout series - Sniper Elite 4 - Rainbow six series - Call of Duty Black Op - Minecraft - Red dead redemption - Assassin’s creed series - Resident Evil 5 and 6 - etc....

81. Your favourite books: Alyss from Patrick Senecal / Queen of the Damned - Anne Rice

82. Do you play board/card games? Yes I LOVE to play with friends and family.

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? No

84. Favourite holiday: Halloween and Christmas

85. Are you into dramas? YES!!!!

86. Would you use death note, if you had one? YES

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? I’d stop racism, bullying and open minds.

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? HA! I don’t know, I want to believe that yes I could, but...I doubt.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? Depends of the power that would come with the being (cause it changes depending on the culture) But a vampire would be my first choice.

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? Be in peace and being able to see the loved one I lost at least one more time.

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? I love my name I don’t want to change it.

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? No one! other people’s life can look fun and interesting from outside, but sometimes with can be very surprised. So, I want to keep my life.

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo: NO! Never....

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true: I know all the lyrics of We will rock you - Queen / I’ve been threaten to death three times in my life / I had a car accident last year

95. Cold or hot? Neither...I like a perfect temperature

96. Be a hero or be a villain? OH! Be a villain who turns to be a hero.

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? Both

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? Shapeshifting

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death? Immune

100. Hope you enjoyed this list, if you have any question, don’t be afraid to ask ;)

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uclaradio · 6 years

Text

UCLA Radio’s Best of 2017 - Music and Genre Directors

This year, UCLA Radio’s music director and genre directors compiled a list of their favorite releases this past year. Take a peek and explore some of our favorite albums of this past year.

Alison Chi - Music Director

1. SZA - Ctrl

I don’t know a single person who doesn’t like SZA’s sophomore album Ctrl. There are so few albums that can capture people’s attention these days - it’s all about the singles and never the album as a whole but something about Ctrl is cohesive from start to finish. The way each song weaves into each other is seamless and you’ll truly be rewarded if you sit down and listen to the album straight through. Is there even a single bad song on this album?

2. Giraffage - Too Real 3. Slowdive - Slowdive 4. Turnover - Good Nature 5. Land of Talk - Life After Youth 6. Cigarettes After Sex - Cigarettes After Sex 7. Julien Baker - Turn Out the Lights 8. Valerie June - The Order of Time 9. Slow Dancer - In A Mood 10. Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked at Me

Megan Hullander - Rock Genre Director

1. King Gizzard & The Flying Wizard - Flying Microtonal Banana

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard’s Flying Microtonal Banana was the first in a series of five albums promised to be released in 2017 (one of which has still yet to come) including a concept album ridden with the drama of human and non-human emotions, a jazzy collaboration with Mild High Club, and an album given as a gift to fans - the rights of which are “owned” by all. Flying Microtonal Banana is unique in that the band customized their instruments in effort to find spaces between existing tones, or “microtones.” The album is named for one of these instruments which does, in fact, look quite similar to a banana.

2. Thee Oh Sees - Orc 3. The Brian Jonestown Massacre - Open Minds Now Close 4. Alex Cameron - Forced Witness 5. Ron Gallo - Temporary Slave 6. Ariel Pink - Dedicated to Bobby Jameson 7. Ty Segall - Sentimental Goblin 8. ORB - Naturality 9. Kikagaku Moyo - Stone Garden 10. Courtney Barnett & Kurt Vile - Lotta Sea Lice

Gabe Cortina - Rock Genre Director

1. Limp Wrist - Facades

Featuring Martin from Los Crudos on vocals as well as members of Hail Mary, Devoid of Faith, By the Throat, and Kill the Man Who Questions, the versatility of Limp Wrist sound has never been more apparent. Identifying as queercore, the band has a fast hardcore sound and lyrical themes concerning gay identity politics. The mixing of album is something which also stood out to me, it’s able to polished without sounding over produced. Martin’s vocal style perfectly matches the killer riffs and speedy drums in both intensity and aggression. Halfway through this album, the band’s sound switches to a disco-ey almost dark-wave- techno sound which they pull of with perfection. This album is solid and I highly recommend it to both longtime fans of punk and people who are looking for an introduction to punk music alike.

2. Despise You / Coke Bust - Split LP 3. Gay Kiss - Rounded Down 4. Exit Unit - St 2017 5. Glue - S/T MLP 6. Lumpy and the Dumpers - Those Pickled Fuckers 7. Goolagoon / ACxDC - Split 8. Burnout - West Coast Tour 2017 CS 9. Sex Prisoner / Harm Done - Split 10. Meth Leppard - Discography 2015-2017

Gabe Punk Genre Director Top 10 Albums of 2017 from anon-10212970514769336 on 8tracks Radio

Alana Enriquez - Pop Genre Director

1. Beach House - B-Sides and Rarities

This compilation happened to be release on a day where I had only gotten around an hour of sleep the night before, and I cried within one minute of the first track. It’s Beach House at their most dreamy, their most blaring, their most haunting. Old tracks with new renditions and fresh ones meld into something spellbinding that doesn’t require the logistical unity of a formal album. B-Sides and Rarities has been on a weekly rotation for me for the entire second half of 2017, and probably for the entirety of 2018, unless they release something else for me to cry to during my morning routine.

2. Florist - If Blue Could Be Happiness 3. High Bloom - Implied Sun 4. Alvvays - Antisocialites 5. The Drums - Abysmal Thoughts 6. Slowdive - Slowdive 7. Steve Lacy - Steve Lacy’s Demo 8. You’ll Never Get to Heaven - Images 9. Pedro Infante - Cien años... pensando en ti 10. Big Thief - Capacity

Alana Myers - Pop Genre Director

1. Wolf Alice - Visions Of A Life

Looking back at this past September, I remember sitting in my apartment late at night, counting down until midnight when Wolf Alice’s second record Visions of a Life would be released. I haven’t ever heard anything quite like Visions of a Life before, and I think the reason it resonates so much with me is the way it perfectly encompasses the feelings that come with the uncertainty of young adulthood, and the feelings of life in general - love, anger, sadness, extreme joy, and everything in between. The album digs itself into darkness, but at its core, lies a piece of work that is ambitious, honest, and a solid listen from start to finish.

2. MUNA - About U 3. Tei Shi - Crawl Space 4. Declan McKenna - What Do You Think About the Car? 5. Stormzy - Gang Signs & Prayer 6. Will Joseph Cook - Sweet Dreamer 7. HAIM - Something to Tell You 8. Lorde - Melodrama 9. Paramore - After Laughter 10. Circa Waves - Different Creatures

Alex Saakyan - Pop Genre Director

1. Lana Del Rey - Lust For Life

With an album cover that graces a smile, cheek to cheek of Lana Del Rey, it is no surprise as to why this record has been nicknamed as Del Rey’s first ‘happy album.’ Retiring from the ‘sad girl’ aesthetic of her previous records, Del Rey delivers an optimistic and authentic approach to her music. With tracks like ‘When the World Was at War’ and ‘God Bless America’ we see Del Rey take a more honest approach from her Americana aesthetic as she speaks of the hard times people in this country face. With tracks like ‘Get Free’ she delivers her mission statement: “Finally, I’m crossing the threshold/From the ordinary world/To the reveal of my heart,” She’s honest, she’s free, with a much optimism and a lust for life.

2. Kendrick Lamar - DAMN. 3. Lorde - Melodrama 4. Kelela - Take Me Apart 5. Majid Jordan - The Space Between 6. Harry Styles - Harry Styles 7. Calvin Harris - Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 1 8. Tyler, the Creator - Flower Boy 9. Dua Lipa - Blow Your Mind 10. Kesha - Rainbow

Christian Wright - World Genre Director

1. Jay Som - Everybody Works

Melina Duterte’s sophomore album is a bedroom production jewel. Every song, incredibly cohesive as a whole, traverses the beautifully lush sonic worlds her mind seemingly conjures up. That’s not to say the ten tracks that span Everybody Works are simple happenstances that fall together nicely; they definitely sound like labors of love. Rather her voice, certain of itself, transmits to the listener so powerfully, making sense out of all the disorder that comes with self-doubt and personal struggle. “Won’t forget to climb,” she sings on E.W’s. final track, “For Light,” beautifully steering the qualms of trying to make it in this world.

2. Nikolas Escudero - Synthesis 3. Haley Heynderickx - Unpeeled (Live) 4. Fleet Foxes - Crack-Up 5. Bedouine - Beduoine 6. Japanese Breakfast - Soft Sounds from Another Planet 7. Lomelda - Thx 8. Hand Habits - Wildly Idle (Humble Before the void) 9. Kevin Morby - City Music 10. Wednesday Campanella - Superman

Ethan Lee - Jazz Genre Director

1. Nick Hakim - Green Twins

Nick Hakim blurs the line between psychedelic, soul, funk, rock, and jazz with his debut album, Green Twins. With lush melodies to command his songs and a spacey approach to recording production, Hakim creates his own unique sound and challenges the notions and implications of a music genre. With a brand of sound that emulates Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Hakim's soundscape fills in colorful textures with his diverse instrumentation on top of steady, pulse-like rhythms. From spacey, reflective post-R&B rock songs like "Bet She Looks Like You" to jazzy, rhythmic pulses in "Miss Chew" and slow, soulful ballads like "Needy Bees," Green Twins has just about everything you need in a debut album from an artist as complex as Nick Hakim.

2. Tyler the Creator - Flower Boy 3. Kamasi Washington - Harmony of Difference 4. Rex Orange County - Apricot Princess 5. Christian Scott aTunde Adjuah - Diaspora 6. Moses Sumney - Aromanticism 7. Steve Lacy - Steve Lacy’s Demo 8. Brockhampton - Saturation II 9. Smino - blkswn 10. Antonio Sanchez - Bad Hombre

Mark Edmonds - Electronic Genre Director

1. Moon Boots - First Landing

First Landing is Moon Boots' debut album. Moon Boots manages a deep overtone with techy-melodies. 'Never Get to You' is a standout track that will light up any dance floor or pool party.

2. Rezz - Mass Manipulation 3. Oliver - Full Circle 4. Various Artists - Anjunadeep Vol. 9 5. Illenium - Awake 6. Giraffage - Too Real 7. Four Tet - New Energy 8. Odesza - A Moment Apart 9. Cosmic Gate - Materia Chapter.Two 10. Bicep - Bicep

Beliz Urkmez - Electronic Genre Director

1. Lorde - Melodrama

For me, Lorde's music means emotion in its purest, most honest form. Her sophomore album, Melodrama, captures her youth, her growth, her path to becoming a woman of her own and loving herself and all the ephemeral experiences in between. Mastering her craft, Lorde finds a cohesion between her atmospheric synths, harmonies, beats and the bittersweet wisdom in her lyrics. Especially in "Liability," a beautiful piano-ballad where she sings, "I understand, I'm a liability/ Get you wild, make you leave/ I'm a little much for everyone." Lorde is truly one of a kind and Melodrama proves she is one of the best artists today.

2. Gorillaz - Humanz 3. London Grammar - Truth Is a Beautiful Thing 4. HAIM - Something to Tell You 5. Alexandra Savior - Belladonna of Sadness 6. Temples - Volcano 7. Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds - Who Built the Moon? 8. Wolf Alice - Visions of a Life 9. Cigarettes After Sex - Cigarettes After Sex 10. Mura Masa - Mura Masa

Alex Ivanova - Folk/Singer-Songwriter Genre Director

1. Kiran Leonard - Derevaun Seraun

This is probably the most sonically beautiful album I’ve listened to in years. 22-year-old Kiran Leonard blends voice, piano, and string trio into an album with each movement representing a different piece of literature, seeing as the album was written to celebrate the re-opening of Manchester’s Central Library. The album is intensely personal, and raw, as Leonard’s voice is in the spotlight, accompanied by mournful accompaniment. I recommend this album endlessly.

2. The Spirit of the Beehive - pleasure suck 3. Jay Som - Everybody Works 4. Joan of Arc - He’s Got the Whole This Land Is Your Land in His Hands 5. Kindling - Hush 6. Синекдоха Монток - MMXVII (Parts 1 & 2) 7. Phoebe Bridgers - Stranger in the Alps 8. Sidney Gish - Ed Buys Houses 9. Tagubu & Klimperei - I Don't Remember The First Time 10. Nnamdi Ogbonnaya - DROOL

#best of 2017

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teaandgames · 6 years

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The Teacup Awards (2017)

So as the wellington boot of inevitability comes crashing down on the innocent snail of time, we must say so long and farewell to 2017. It’s been something a tumultuous year full of disasters and political upheaval but at least we can now boot it out of the door. On the gaming side of things, there have been a fair share of scandals and nuisances but through all of the mess some quite decent games have emerged. So it’s time to do the proper thing and order them into categories before we limp into 2018.

As usual, I’m limiting my awards to games that I’ve either written about or recorded at some point, regardless of release date. Of course ‘written about’ can include the smallest of articles but hey, I make the rules so I can bend them. We’ve got a few new categories emerging this year but let’s start with an old hat, shall we?

The ‘Tea Up My Nose’ Award for Scariest Game

Runner Up - Thumper

I don’t think Thumper has ever been marketed as a horror game. Wikipedia has it as a ‘Rhythm Violence Game’ which sounds silly until you play it. You quickly realise that you’re not so much listening to Thumper’s music as being beaten over the head with it. It’s deep, rumbling and aggressive. Above all, it’s sinister. That’s helped along by the fluid, metallic quality to everything. Clinical yet unsavoury. Things just sort of rise up out of the netherworld, curling and flexing like metal tentacles. If hell doesn’t turn out to be full of fire, then Thumper’s aesthetic would be my second guess.

Winner - Resident Evil 7

There were two big boys of horror this year: Resident Evil 7 and Outlast 2. Both share the same problem, really. They start off very strong but quickly fall apart once you realise they’ve shown you their entire hand. Outlast 2 starts by scaring you with its creepy villagers and making you hide in logs. By the end, you’re still hiding in logs, waiting for the villager of the moment to stop muttering to himself and sod off. That’s when you’re not getting your balls impaled that is. That happens a lot.

Resident Evil 7 stays strong for longer but it keeps chucking its weird goopy enemies at you, as though three of them at once is supposed to make them more interesting. They kill you a lot until you realise you just kind of wave your hands in the air to stop their attacks. The level near the end, set on a ship, just proves how irritating they are. But this award isn’t a measure of how decent a game is, it’s a measure of how scary it is. And the Baker family scared the life out of me. I knew it was going to be that way from the moment Jack Baker punched me in the face and I woke up strapped to a dinner table.

That scene really stuck with me. Just the whole family of nutters, giggling as they force feed you god-knows-what. Then you go through each of the family in turn and have them pop out right when you don’t want them to. The king of it all is Jack Baker. The man who refuses to die. The first quarter or so of the game is spent in his company and he will not leave you alone. When all you’ve got is a pistol and a tiny pocket knife, the knowledge that Jack Baker could be behind any door is terrifying. The best thing a horror game can do is make you scared even when nothing is near and Resident Evil 7 did that. Until Jack turned into a giant slug thing that is but we don’t talk about that.

The ‘Folded Corner’ Award For Best Writing

Runner Up - Night in the Woods

I really like Mae Borowski. She’s a kid that’s had things beyond her control repeatedly dumped on top of her and now she’s kind of drifting. She went to college and it didn't work out. Now she’s returned home and it’s not home anymore. Regardless of the dialogue choices you make for her, she always sounds like a real person. So do her friends. You feel like another member of the gang just hanging out. Dealing with the real world crumbling around them at every turn. It takes a decent storyteller to make characters dealing with personal problems believable. Mae’s just like any of us. Only a cat, I guess.

Winner - Oxenfree

The worst thing about Oxenfree is having to play it. Sounds odd but the best part of Oxenfree is the characters talking to each other. I’d say it would work as a book but that would be an insult to the decent voice actors. Maybe an audiobook? Anyway, the joy of Oxenfree is how you make these characters interact with each other. It’s a branching choice kind of thing, rather like an interactive fiction game. The protagonist, Alex, has her own personality but there’s just enough room to inject some of yourself in there too.

So much so that when I got to the end and found that I hadn’t really made friends with Jonas, I had to stop and think back over everything I’d said to him. Had I been rude to him? Had I ignored him? I told him to calm down once, was that it? Oh God, I’m a monster. In most games of this type, it’s usually obvious what line is going to elicit what response. And that’s why I love Oxenfree because it’s not obvious. It’s natural. Humans generally don’t talk in grand, sweeping words. We hide behind small talk. We talk about the weather, what we did today, what we’re playing. It’s how we say things and how much of ourselves we put into the conversations that matters.

Oxenfree captures that well, putting a group of scared teens together and making them depend on each other. Making them get to know each other. Making them love or hate each other. It’s one part lighthearted drama to two parts B-Movie nightmare. On top of the good chemistry, you’ve got the fact that Edwards Island is slowly breaking down the people on it. Otherwise stable characters begin to shout at each other and you feel drawn into the mess. I haven’t felt so desperate to keep a set of characters alive in a long time. That’s a sign of good writing if anything is.

The ‘Head Nod’ Award For Best Soundtrack

Runner Up - DEADBOLT

You know when a great song comes on the radio and you find yourself mouthing along to the words without even thinking about it? Well by the time I finished DEADBOLT, I was clicking my fingers along to the music. It’s a very smooth soundtrack, which complements the suave feel of the game. The undead are rendered as mobsters, ranging from thuggish zombies to the more stylish vampires and skeletons. So a soundtrack that switches from violent to classy, while keeping the same smooth feel, is undoubtedly a good one.

Winner - Night in the Woods

There weren’t many games this year that had mind blowing soundtracks. There was an odd song here and there that I liked but nothing that really leapt out at me. So I was struggling to find a game to fit into this slot. But then as I was looking back through the list of games I’ve played this year, I remembered the band practice parts of Night in the Woods. They were fun to play, even though I was terrible at them, but the real joy was in what they represented.

It was the gang back together, united by a burning desire to get out of the deadbeat town they were born in. The first song, Die Anywhere Else, captured that perfectly. All of the songs are great to listen to by themselves, even without reading the lyrics underneath. You often can’t read them actually, as you’re too busy mashing buttons. Which brings me to the real reason this is number one: the covers.

I don’t usually care for covers or remixes. But the excellent covers of Die Anywhere Else and Pumpkin Head Boy out there elevate Night in the Woods to the number one spot.

The ‘Mmm, I Don’t Get It’ Award For Best Art Piece

Runner Up - Little Nightmares

In terms of gameplay, there’s a lot lacking when it comes to Little Nightmares. You run and hide from dense enemies as you move right. The interesting part of Little Nightmares is the world. It’s proof that art doesn’t have to be all sunflowers and grass fields. Sometimes it can be a urinal that someone’s pissed on. Sometimes it can be disgusting. Little Nightmares is. It’s a world of bloodied meat, dirty corners and obese, gluttonous characters. It’s a horror game that lets its world speak for itself. It’s gross, unsettling and while it looks like ours, it feels like a truly other world. Did I mention it’s gross?

Winner - Hyper Light Drifter

Okay, cards on the table, I am biased. I have a love of games that have a pixel-based art style. Hyper Light Drifter is, perhaps, the finest example of that art style. The crowning moment comes near the start when your protagonist walks to the top of a hill and the camera pulls back to show a city behind it. It’s a beautiful moment that’s contrasted well with the darker elements of the game. Like the pixel-based bad acid trip that the game opens with. Full of black monsters that appear to be corroding our hero from the inside out.

The protagonist is deathly ill, a decision that was meant to reflect the developers own health, and his coughs cause the graphics to darken. Outside of those moments, Hyper Light Drifter is an extremely bright and colourful game, that does a lot to differentiate its areas. Granted there aren’t very many of them but each is wonderfully distinct and culminates in its own unique boss. When you’re not slashing up bosses, you can retire to the main town and take in the sights.

Hyper Light Drifter is a short one but it's one full of intricate detail, bright colours and a whole lot of my own blood being spilled.

Special Mention - Prey (for Talos 1)

The ‘Lot Of Paperwork’ Award For Best Action Game

Runner Up - Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus

There’s a lot wrong with Wolfenstein II. It wants you to be badass, but slaps your wrist when you do. It’s built around stealth but the easiest way to do things is just put a couple of thousand of bullets in everyone. So on and so forth. That’s not relevant here. What’s relevant is how fun it is to mow down Space Nazis with a shotgun in each hand. The guns look nice, sound nice and feel nice. Given how hard it is to nail that last one, it makes Wolfenstein II’s gunplay all the more impressive.

Winner - DEADBOLT

DEADBOLT is a kind of understated badass. The Reaper wears a shabby coat and a skull mask. At least, I think it’s a mask. He basically walked off the set an action film and went home. He even spends his evening in a big wingback chair. All in all, he seems like a pretty (possibly undead) regular guy. That is until he goes about his job. He takes a message from the fireplace (don’t ask) and goes out to murder the undead.

That’s where the true fun is. It’s taken a few notes from Hotline Miami but its action is a bit slower paced; a bit more thoughtful. The mad run’n’gun gameplay of Hotline Miami rarely works in DEADBOLT. Usually you’ll clear a few vampires only for the bartender to casually blow your head into tiny fragments with a shotgun. You normally need a plan before you go in. So when you do have one, and it all works, it’s bloody marvelous. Even when it fails, if you can think on your feet then you have a chance of pulling it back. The sheer flow and mania of DEADBOLT’s combat makes it stand out for me.

That and the simplicity of it. For the most part you’re just dealing with a handful of firearms and maybe a hammer or two. You get a few guns out of the trunk of your car but the ammo dwindles quickly. On some levels you’re basically throwing an entire kitchen at the undead. This all culminates in a final level that pours on the baddies. I lost count of the times I’d unload into someone only to be left with a hammer. Burst through a door, bury it in someone’s head, grab their gun and begin the rampage all over again. My God it’s addictive.

The ‘Beep Boop’ Award For Best Retro Game

Runner Up - Punch-Out!!

Rather ironically, Punch-Out!! Kicked my arse. I managed to get all the way up to Super Macho Man then he launched his over-the-top clothesline attack and my head hit the ground. Presumably after it was rapidly detached from my body. But time and time again I tried. I still go back to it, after the internal swelling has gone down. The modernised Punch-Out!! On the Wii is an excellent sequel but it’s worth paying tribute to the game that kicked it all off. It’s the perfect blend of timing and charm that no doubt sucked thousands of coins out of kids in the arcades. Now it just sucks some of my soul.

Winner - King’s Quest VI

I played all of the King’s Quest games this year, including the modern version, and of all the games I think it was King’s Quest VI that stuck with the most. Mostly because it was the game where King’s Quest stopped trying to play its fairy tale inspirations straight. Instead it embraced the silliness and love of puns that was started properly in King’s Quest V. In short, King’s Quest VI is where it found its own goofy identity.

Sure it was still mired in the moon logic that characterise the King’s Quest games, and pretty much any adventure game of the age, meaning you to hunt through the entire world for an easily missed object, but it didn’t matter. That same world was the most important thing. And King’s Quest VI took you from an Arabian town, to a Minotaur’s labyrinth and then to a strange garden full of anthropomorphic fruit and veg. Then you meet some living chess pieces. It’s weird as hell.

And that’s why I love it. I’ve a love of surreal games in all forms and King’s Quest VI pushes it to the extreme. When you’re dealing with a genie that gets drunk on mints, who hides himself around the entire map, you know you’re dealing with a special game. That and it’s pretty damn funny because of it. I mean, you find a rotten tomato that shouts at you only for you to shove the damn thing in your trousers.

The ‘You Wanted Sugar, Right?’ Award For Biggest Disappointment

Runner up - Yooka-Laylee

Truth be told, I’m not a hundred percent sure why I backed Yooka-Laylee. My only real experience with the genre was a brief stint with Banjo and Kazooie back in the day. It was okay but I don’t remember it setting my world on fire. Perhaps I backed Yooka-Laylee because it was bright, colourful and looked like good silly fun. It was that, to a degree, but what they neglected to mention was the awkward camera, fairly by-the-numbers level design and bloody annoying final boss. It’s not a big offender but Yooka-Laylee is clogged with too many little annoyances to keep it off this list.

Winner - Condemned 2: Bloodshot

Maybe it’s not right for me to rag on a game from 2008 but I can’t help it. I hold up Condemned: Criminal Origins as one of the best horror games I’ve played. It has a great combat engine and knows the right environments to stick you in. Even if the Super Taser snaps the difficulty over it’s knee. It was Monolith at its height, as they also had the first F.E.A.R game out, bringing the creepy Japanese little girl to the world of video games. But it seems that Monolith have something of an issue when it comes to sequels.

F.E.A.R 2 was nothing revolutionary and Condemned 2 was far, far worse. The big selling point of Condemned for me is the combat. Knocking out teeth with a bit of pipe and trying not to suffer the same. Condemned 2: Bloodshot somehow ignored all of that and instead focused much of the later half of the game on dull, gun-based combat. With guns that have all the weight and feel of a spud gun. It’s nonsensical to me and made much of the game a tired, boring slog. Shame really, as we’d dropped the relatively bland Ethan Thomas from the first game and replaced him with a more interesting one.

And yet, they also tried to really push the supernatural angle. I’m all for a bit of weird mystical nonsense but you need to make it fit. The rest of Condemned is going for a sort of realistic feel. You use proper forensic skills, you’re in a world full of the homeless and it’s just generally dark and grimy. Then you use your magical throat to shout a guy off a giant tower. That’s the final boss fight. No, I’m not joking. It’s the final decisive blow in an onslaught that begins about halfway through the game. It starts strong, with some good old fashioned pipe to the face action, then descends into supernatural nonsense and tedious gunfights.

Now, for the big one.

The ‘Golden Teapot’ Award For Best Game

Runner Up - Night in the Woods

Night in the Woods has appeared in multiple categories this year for good reason. A somewhat branching adventure game based around a group of friends who want out of their town, Night in the Woods wonderfully transitions from light comedy to creeping horror. Remember how I said supernatural stuff needed to fit in? Night in the Woods manages it. Your main character, Mae, witnesses a kidnapping halfway through the game. It sets you up to find a killer only to realise the true evil seems to be lurking in Mae’s own head.

It pulls it off because its very well written, with each of the main characters being a delight to talk to. I had a definite fondness for Gregg, who wears a sweet leather jacket, because of his excitable nature that he uses to mask his own feelings. There’s a lot in Night in the Woods when you dig under the surface and the charming graphics, solid writing and sinister atmosphere in the later half make you want to do just that.

Winner - Hollow Knight

When I finished Hollow Knight and put the controller down, I thought to myself, ‘That’s my game of the year’. Usually, I have to puzzle over these things but not this year. Hollow Knight has just absolutely won my heart. For one thing, it’s pretty damn beautiful. Visiting Hallownest is like visiting an old castle. It lies in ruins but with remnants of what once was. A great battle has swept through it leaving only fragments behind. Fragments of buildings, fragments of people, fragments of memories. It sets the tone of the game very well. It’s a sort of downtrodden tone yet here and there you find little pockets of hope, which seems at times personified by our little hero bug.

But the world building aside, it also plays remarkably well too. I’ve been banging on about simplicity in gaming for quite a while now and Hollow Knight embraces that concept. There are a lot of skills for moving about, and a few for attacking, but for the most part you’re just going to be bouncing about and slashing things with your nail. I like it because it takes the focus off the game’s mechanics and puts it back on the player. It comes down to timing and precision. Button mashing isn’t really going to cut it when you’re dealing with a small bug stuffed inside a giant suit of armour. It also has some of the smoothest platforming I’ve seen outside of games like Super Meat Boy. Our little knight jumps, slashes and glides perfectly. Platforming deaths nearly always felt like my fault.

What’s more, Hollow Knight introduced me to a genre I’d never really been interested in before: Metroidvania. I’d played a bit of the old Castlevania games and one of the newer ones that went completely out of my head as soon as I’d finished it. Never played Metroid though. I’d never really gotten the idea of exploring and re-exploring areas. Hollow Knight changed that for me. Every time I came to a barrier, I made a mental note, knowing I’d be able to get through it one day. It changed how I looked at things. I’d try, die and save it for later. Every new skill caused new exciting areas of the map to open up.

It was that thrill of discovery that kept me glued to Hollow Knight, along with the great boss fights. I wanted to poke into every corner and Hollow Knight let me try, drip feeding me tools along the way. So even if you discount the great graphics, haunting soundtrack and excellent gameplay, Hollow Knight wins by introducing me to something new and making me love it.

So that’s 2017 over and done with. I hope you’ve all filled yourself with Turkey over the Christmas period and your drink of choice over New Year. With any luck, you won’t be too hungover when you read this. As for me, I’m going to make myself a nice, strong pot of tea and get ready for 2018. See you there.

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nosunlite · 6 years

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ap top 25 list: 2k17, a month late

The AP “Audio Popularity” Poll was Ben’s way to get us all to make a list and talk about our favorite songs of the month, back when we were all living in the same house. He describes it here. I have since cut back to doing it every year, with the ever shifting goal of defining “audio popularity” and “favorite” and “best”.

This year’s list, 5 years after Ben’s death, my main goal is to identify 25 awesome tracks that I’d love to talk to Ben about. They are my favorite 25 songs of the year, a focus on new discoveries (tho a few songs from last year’s list show up), songs that I surely would’ve dubbed for Ben back in the day.

25. the rats: the rats’ revenge

60’s punk rager - an era we did not ever go deep into, but now it’s time to eat up those Back from the Grave comps.

24. fluf: stuffed animal

Not their typical noise-grunge, which Ben yeah loved (he lived Sub Pop inexplicably into the 2010s), but a Sebadoh-esque minimal gem.

23. LNZ: blondehairdown

The most quoted song of 2k17 for me. Ben was always into weird local rappers no matter where he was. Sharing this internet-destroying monstrosity with him would be a conversation for thee ages!

22. new kingdom: terror mad visionary

tom waits as MC sounds like a thing ben would love or hate (he rejected lots of undie rappers for their not slamming hard enough) but this stuff is so pirate-vocalled that i’d love to have asked him what was going on here.

21. octa#grape: dirigibles

The most soul-junk of galaxalag’s new group, spinning all sortsa weird beats into their calm noise.

20. wovenhand: golden blossom

16 hp was a shared favorite, and i’d love to go thru these new DEE albums with ben.

19. slim cessna’s auto club: commandment 3

Seeing these guys live was a total revival that was up Ben’s alley. Dwight Pentecost and his doubleneck guitar with hologram switching from Sacred Heart to Marian Immaculate Heart. Munly looking like a straight up ghoul man, gathering us into a circle, and chiding me for screaming the lyrics too loud. Slim just hamming it up preacher style. Rebecca wielding all sortsa kitchen sinks and keeping it together. They encored to “Commandment 3” in a karaoke choreograph line dance. One of the few shows I’ve seen that really produced a spectacle within a minimalist framework.

18. kleenex girl wonder: dont wait up

An alternative bee-thousand.

17. puff pieces: competition

The local DC stuff always seems to be ahead of the rest.

16. arroyo deathmatch: swimming the witch

They acoustic thrash their folk without guitars and just uke! This one sprays rap tropes and references all over the Crassy gender politics. Joyous bleakness!

15. the out_circuit: come out shooting

A wonderful sequel to our favorite Frodus “Year of the Hex.”

14. ramshackle glory: punk is the worst form of music, except for all the others

Anarcho politics and emotions, what drew me into punk.

13. a fistful of dynamite: smoke it, like a cigarette

More acoustic thrash folk with an even worse vocalist. “Write my own favorite songs/ write my own singalongs...you think this is bad? Well it just gets more rough!”. The world’s worst snare sound. Charmed!

12. shellac: riding bikes

He was an albini fan, and we would definitely have spent time jamming his new ones. And what an epic this one is.

11. bradley hathaway: the world is screaming

I could see ben finding it utterly pretentious, but bradley straddles that line of being so serious but also so reckless, so honest and so charming to me. His new album is the best, riotous blasphemy as prayer, but this one does the post rock building ben taught me to dig.

10. lou barlow: try 2 b

Our indie legend put out a great one (years olde already?), oh well, it slams lo-fi.

9. the beakers: 4 steps towards a cultural revolution

Ben downplays a lot of thee weird punk, but weird punk from his beloved Seattle scene? He’d dig! This out Ubus David Thomas. Ultra.

8. ps eliot: the cyborg

Reminds me of so much of the stuff on the ktru tapes, but this struck me very hard this year.

7. lifter puller: mission viejo

Most of their weird stuff has more to discuss, i guess, with the spoken stories and nonsense arrangements, but this is just an indie rock emotion block of thee highest order.

6. defiance, ohio: calling old friends

A classic campfire singalong.

5. henry thomas: when the train comes along

Not Thomas’ most canonical or comp’d performance, but such a stomper. Ben got me into old timey music and the last cd’s he ripped from me were the pseudo-old-timey boxset from Fonotone.

4. ballydowse: sails

An albini-produced christian-anarcho celtic folk/punk group relying prominently on tuvan throat singing. And yet it took me til 2k17 to find it. Ben used to be after a Crashdog CD at Family Bookstore, but this stuff would’ve taken it to a whole nother level. The best band you don’t know!

3. snail mail: static buzz

Woulda been a ktru darling. Local bmore rock girl makes it big - new album gonna be on Matadork.

2. mike knott: double

We always ignored the mike knott stuff, but this year has been all about rediscovering the blonde vinyl roster, and that dip goes deep. This song is an undeniable one, whether live at Cornerstone or with the *gasp* secular Aunty Bettys playing it.

1. showbread: matthias replaces judas

This raw rock was the first new rekkerd i listened to after we found out ben had died, but a song that has only emerged more recently as a post-Pedro emotional cleansing monster. Ben loved “Every New Day” with the Reese Roper vocals, he’d love this too. & it’s the best song ever, so he’d better...

honorable mentions:

Blackbird Raum - Last Legs // Acoustic thrash folk! He’d be thrilled to see Wacko-Hed’s genre is alive ‘n’ well...

Double Dagger - The Lie / The Truth // Righteous at the drive-ining.

City of Caterpillar - A Little Change Could Go a Long Ways // One of the bands that indoctrinated me into punk rock seeing them live - i put off listening to their cd until recently. Ben would talk about how NoU did it better, I’m sure!

William Elliot Whitmore - cold and dead // Ugly blues voice on this Americana death tinged guy.

Pogues - If I Should Fall From Grace of God / Fairytale of New York // We never talked about the Pogues. They hit most of the sweetspots for me emotionally and aesthetically. Ben loved Cordelia’s Dad, and this is their Dad.

Model Engine - Reeperbahn // Ah a CCM classic - I knew we had to listen to Black Eyed Sceva, but unsure how much play this one ever got in the CCM era.

Lift to Experience - to guard and to guide // They post rocked the map to Texas. I remember expecting to find this in the used CD store when I visited Ben at Rice. Now it’s been reissued and is weirder packaged and sounding than ever - really woulda liked to listen to this with him.

Flesh Eaters - Pray till You Sweat // Richard Hell in Violent Femmes skin godsend

EZT - Central Control // Some sorta Neil Young smog. Who knows.

close:

mike knott - rocket and a bomb; one way streets - we all love peanut butter; 3 mile pilot - house is loss; i hate myself - urban barbie, keep reaching for those stars; fistful of dynamite - tribute to castellana; arroyo deathmatch - as an instrument, all the best matadors are fascists, casting into the void; azealia banks - 212; lifter puller - star wars hips, plymouth rock, math is money, 4dix; ramshackle glory - face the void, eulogy for an adolescence shattered against elliot st. pavement; kleenex girl wonder - tendency right foot forward, the sound of paul, why i write such good songs; new kingdom - kicking like bruce lee; slim cessna - commandment 7, hold my head, he roger williams; aunt bettys - speeder mode; shellac - dude incredible; snail mail - thinning; 2 whole Fountainsun and Aesop Rock lps...

#showbread #matthais replaces judas #ap top 25 #best songs #songs I love #mike knott

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creativeashproductions · 7 years

Text

Let Go // Dolan Twins

Summary: After years of being together Ethan puts together something incredibly beautiful and luckily making a video for Gray to react to. Now you get to start the rest of your lives together with Gray tagging on also because what’s Ethan without his twin? They’re a package deal no matter which one you’re engaged to.

Characters: Ethan Dolan x Reader, Grayson Dolan, Lisa Dolan, Sean Dolan and Cameron Dolan

Words: 5043

Disclaimer: I do not own YouTube, images or songs used in this. Song is ‘You Can Let Go’ by Crystal Shawanda.

Warnings: Possible swearing, major fluff, mention of hearattack and sad Grayson

Author: Caitsy

Tagged: At the bottom

A/N: Sorry for not posting! It’s been hectic with uni ending next month and I’ve been writing this for so long. We’ve posted but it’s not showing up in the tags sadly.

Master List

Prompt List

ASK US A QUESTION LIST

If you were a little girl and you were asked the question of who you would marry you would have answered differently from now because you weren’t a child anymore wishing for things that can’t happen. You were nineteen years old and your boyfriend Ethan had switched your promise ring with an engagement ring with a small vintage theme. You weren’t going to wait until you were twenty-eight to plan a wedding because you were just as in love as you would be ten years from now.

Ethan hadn’t taken you out to a fancy restaurant where you would have to act like someone else because your laughs were too loud. He didn’t hide the ring in the food despite the obvious problem of choking on it by accident. He didn’t make you do a scavenger hunt either because you guys weren’t basic and fought against the stereotypical clichés. He had done something unique and very him instead with no help because he wanted it to be special. You had accompanied him to his childhood home for his older sister Cameron’s birthday. It was both a surprise to you and everyone else because only him and your Dad knew about it.

“Can I show you a place I love?” Ethan asked as soon as the movie everyone was watching ended.

“Uh…I was going to help your mom.” You said frowning at your boyfriend of many years.

“Go ahead.” Lisa said from her position by her husband, “Gray can help me instead. Go spend some time together and relive Ethan’s childhood.”

Grayson groaned while Ethan helped you off the couch where you had been cuddling with a blanket covering your legs. His sweater enveloping you with the familiar scent that screamed your boyfriend and you always felt like he was hugging you when you wore his sweaters but they didn’t make it look like you weren’t wearing any pants. He smiled as you pushed your hair out of your face and blushed until his gaze. He gently pulled you out of the house with Cameron sneakily following behind you with a camera.

You were in the passenger seat with the windows down making your hair shift in the wind and the music blasting throughout the vehicle. Ethan had a hard time keeping his eyes on the road when you were being incredibly adorable singing along with no hesitation. You were a masterpiece in his mind and he couldn’t wait until he could name you ‘Y/N Dolan’ to complete it.

“I love you.” Ethan said grabbing your warm hand into his larger one.

“I love you too.” You smiled looking as he brought your hand up to press a lingering kiss to the back of your hand.

Ethan wasn’t overly nervous about asking you since it only be two of you and Cameron in attendance as he put himself out there. His plan would be a good thing and it was original instead of searching for videos on the internet, specifically Tumblr and Pinterest. He had set everything up really early with the excuse of going to work out and you didn’t bat an eye even though Gray hadn’t gone with him.

He pulled up to this small little hut thing that looked really worn down from the lack of use but it was still rustic and adorable. This hut was the place that Cam, Gray and him had spent many hours at playing before kicking the older sister out of the club. Changing the rules to state no females to spread and contaminate the building with cooties.

The sun was setting behind the tree line making it very aesthetically pleasing and it helped that Ethan could come out here everytime he was out to watch this from the safety of his property. The problem was that the sun was setting a little faster than he had planned. He had to quickly park and get out to open your door before you had a chance to get your seatbelt off. You were too busy watching the fairy lights handing from the trees to illuminate the steadily darkening area.

“Can you go in and turn the lights on? I’ll be right in.” Ethan said holding the door open for you to get out of.

“Sure.” You smiled hurrying to get into the small building and getting out of the slight chill.

The small hut was interesting with the initials of the Dolan siblings on the front door just below the childish sign. It was a hand made sign with the words ‘no girls allowed…even you Cam!’ that was crookedly placed on the door and nailed on. You ran your finger over the engraved smooth wood with a small smile imagining the young siblings forever tattooing their lives to this building. It was pitch black when you opened the door so you immediately went the window to pull the curtains away. You went to switch a light on but instead it was pull string light.

“What…?” You trailed off seeing something hanging on the string.

There was a beautiful, simple and elegant ring on the very end where some crystal figurine was supposed to be. When you turned the light on you saw exactly what kind of ring it was but outside the window was what took your breath away. There was a montage of pictures and videos of Ethan and you playing on a large screen with only a couple that featured Gray.

All the photos you took over the years together or screenshots of tweets and Instagram posts of lyrics and quotes with the other tagged in them. Your whole three years spent together as a couple went on the screen with your favourite song playing as it went. One of your favourites was the video of Ethan giving you the promise ring that had spent a year and a half on your finger. A video of Ethan from a couple days ago came up with him explaining how much you meant to him and how incredible happy he was to spend his life with you and how he couldn’t wait for more.

“Will you marry me?” Ethan asked in synch with the video.

He had managed to swipe the ring out of your hand and kneel just to the side of you with a hopeful expression and a nervous smile painted on his face. You were in tears because he hadn’t hinted that this would be happening and you remembered how much time he had spent editing over the last couple weeks. You were in shock as the first song that played in that restaurant you went to on your first date played in the background.

“I love you so much.” Ethan said rubbing his sweaty hand on his jeans, “I know we’re young but I love you just as much as I will years from now because you’re my person.”

“Yes!” You yelled throwing yourself into his arms nearly causing him to fall over from the force. You were kissing him the moment the ring was finally placed on your finger.

‘I thought you were going to say no for a second there.”

“I would never say no to you.” You giggled pressing a passionate and very deep kiss to his lips. The euphoria was rushing throughout your body.

“We should tell our family.” You whispered, “I’m so happy you don’t understand.”

“Cameron is here, she got the entire proposal on video.” Ethan said resting his forehead against yours.

“I’m so happy because he told me instead of Gray.” Cameron grinned coming out of her hiding place. She was oddly proud that she had be in the act despite not fully understanding exactly what her brother had been planning.

“Gray doesn’t know?” You asked surprised at the revelation because he shared everything with Gray.

“Well and your Dad technically but Cam didn’t know I was proposing to you. You would have unintentionally known if Gray had been involved somehow.” Ethan chuckled, “He accidently revealed your surprise birthday party last year.”

“True.” You hummed.

“I’ll edit the video for you and we’ll get Gray to react to it in a video.” Cameron said, “Trust me on this.”

Ethan nodded as he started to remove the things he had set up in order for the plan. Even though both Cam and him tried to tell you to sit down and relax you just wanted to cuddle with Ethan as soon as possible which meant helping them clean up and you were okay with that.

Ethan and you kept your engagement to yourselves for a couple weeks before Grayson asked what Ethan and him would be doing for that weeks video. After a lot of editing Cameron had given the video to you guys a couple days ago. You were nestled into Ethan’s side watching movies with Grayson when he brought it up.

“What are we doing for this weeks video?” Gray asked turning his attention to his twin instead of the screen.

“We already know.” Ethan said playing with the engagement ring that was unnoticed by everyone.

“We didn’t talk about it though.” Gray retorted giving Ethan a weird look.

“We’re reacting to a video.”

“Oh what video?” Gray questioned pausing the movie.

“I chose it.” You said throwing your legs across Ethan’s legs.

“Should we film?” Gray asked.

“Yeah it’s all ready to be watched.” You said not bothering to get up and help as they set up everything they would need. You decided instead to message Cam for the video she had made and how you couldn’t wait to finally Gray react to it.

Both Ethan and you had already watched it to be prepared for the feels that would definitely hit the two of you. You had already cried watching it once but somehow you know that watching it again wouldn’t stop the tears from coming once more. It was so heartwarming that Ethan had cried along with you.

“What’s up guys! We’re back!” They said in unison as per usual, “We’re something a little different than usual.”

“We’re reacting to a video that Y/N has chosen for us. We haven’t watched it at all and she wouldn’t even take bribes to let us see it.” Ethan announced, “I’m a little nervous for this and I really hope she didn’t pick something incredible dirty to watch.”

“I know! She’s so sketchy sometimes.” Gray laughed as you made a face at him.

Once the video had started up it showed Ethan setting up everything without showing his face to the camera he had set up. Gray paused the video already.

“Is this a fail video?” He asked.

“Just watch! I wanna know what happens.” Ethan said pushing Gray away so he could unpause the video.

Ethan quieted down as he watched his twin brother try to figure out what kind of video this was and why they were watching it. He got quiet when your face showed up in the video once you were in the cabin. Gray unpaused it on your face.

“Is that you?” Gray asked looking towards you.

You came into the camera view with the boys in order to start the video again as to silently tell him to shut up. The montage of videos and pictures had started in the video only briefly showing your reaction in the video. Grayson gasped when he saw the entire thing through the video starting to realize that something big was happening. Once more he paused it to look at you.

“What is this?” Gray asked.

Ethan was the one that unpaused the video this time with tears welling up in his eyes. Gray frowned glancing at him before his attention turned to the computer again. It was the end of the montage where Ethan had began his speech to you.

“You did that because you were nervous?” Gray asked already knowing the answer to the question. Ethan nodded while Gray smirked at him.

Once again you began to cry at the video just as Ethan had grabbed the ring out of your hand in the video and was now on his knee. Gray’s mouth opened a fraction as he gasped out feeling the tears well up in eyes too knowing exactly what was happening now.

“Will you marry me?” Ethan asked in the video, “I love you so much.” Ethan said rubbing his sweaty hand on his jeans, “I know we’re young but I love you just as much as I will years from now because you’re my person.”

“Yes!” You yelled throwing yourself into his arms nearly causing him to fall over from the force. You were kissing him the moment the ring was finally placed on your finger.

“Oh my god.” Gray exclaimed meeting his twins eyes in shock, “You…”

The end of the video showed Cameron back at the place Ethan had proposed the following night with something set up again. The fairy lights were now spelling something out in the trees with the words ‘Congratulations Ethan and Y/N!’.

“We are engaged guys! I proposed on July 27th at a special spot my brother, sister and I used as kids. The video was filmed by Cameron even with her not knowing that it was because I was proposing and she edited it. The only people that knew I was proposing was Mr. Y/L/N and myself.” Ethan explained grabbing your hand, “We wanted to show you the video along with Gray as a surprise.”

“That was quite the surprise.” Gray laughed.

“We don’t know when we’ll get married but we’ll be doing what Sam and Rosa Pottorff did with their wedding.” You said from Ethan’s lap.

“We won’t be revealing where and when the wedding will be taking place because it is just Y/N and my day. We want it to be special and memorable. Any comm-“

“I may have just found out about their engagement but it’s their day. The guests invited will just be lucky to witness the gathering. Any comments on crashing will be deleted and you will be blocked if we see anything else.” Grayson explained.

“That’s it for this video.” The both said, “We’ll see you guys next week on a Tuesday!”

Once the camera was put away in the safe location Gray stared at the two of you in complete disbelief which was understandable since you had thrown it at him. They told each other everything because they were not just twins. They’re best friends. If Gray thought it was prank you wouldn’t be surprised at all.

“You okay?” You asked concerned.

“Just surprised is all. I never thought he would propose at his age.”

“Are you sad?”

“No! I’m ecstatic but completely surprised.”

“I love her.” Ethan said squeezing your hand only to smile when he felt the ring dig into his palm, “I don’t see how waiting another five years would make a difference."

“True.”

“Do I have to ask if you’ll be my best man Gray?” Ethan asked even though he knew the answer to the question.

“You made yourself stupid just asking that question but yes I will.” Gray laughed, “Who’s the maid of honour?”

“I don’t know just yet.” You replied already stressing out about the planning that would be happening.

“Too bad you don’t have a twin.” Gray chuckled, “Makes it easier.”

“Shut up.” You laughed hearing the frequent phrase that Gray asked you at least once a day.

“Should we go home for the weekend? Tell our families?” Ethan asked looking at both Gray and you.

“We would have to remember that we’ll need to facetime my family because they’re in England.”

“Your dad and you moved here a couple years ago but your mother hasn’t visited?” Gray asked confused.

“She doesn’t have the money to fly out.” You frowned.

“Would she be able to fly out for the wedding?” Ethan asked walking you over to the couch that was back in it’s position.

“Dad will help her.” You muttered.

There was a moment of utter comfortable silence as Grayson grinned at the two of you. Things weighed on his mind you vaguely knew what was running through his mind. He was scared of what would happen after you became Ethan’s wife. You also knew he was too selfish to bring it up to either one of you.

“What’s wrong?” Ethan asked his brother.

“Nothing.” Gray shrugged not meeting your eyes.

“Y/N, can you give us a moment?” Ethan asked.

“Of course. I’ll go start supper.” You replied kissing the top of Ethan’s head.

As you walked passed Grayson you squeezed his shoulder in support at revealing his fears. You may have been with Ethan for three years and knew him before that, Gray was the constant being his twin. They had a bond that E and you wouldn’t ever be able to have and you were okay with that. You didn’t want Gray to feel like you were replacing him.

You were going through one of the cook boos Lisa gave the twins in hopes they would have enough options to cook. You were smiling when you came across the handwritten recipe you had shoved in there a couple months ago. It was something your mom had made and gave you a copy. While reading it your ears were picking up the conversation the boys were having.

“What’s wrong?” Ethan questioned.

“I knew one day we would each get married and start a family but it just became real.” Gray admitted, “You’ll be a married man with a wife and future kids. You won’t have much time to make videos.”

“Why are you sad about that?” Ethan asked, “You knew nothing will stop me from making videos with you. Y/N would kill me if I gave that up.”

“I’m not sad about it, it’s just you’ll get a place with her because that’s what a married couple shouldn’t live with the husband’s brother.”

“Gray you can live with us.”

“No. You’ll need privacy to fuck all around the house.” Gray said cracking a smile.

“We could get places right next to each other.” Ethan grinned thinking back to a video from years ago.

“Like we said at the end of the separation video?”

“Yeah!”

You peeked into the living room to see the boys sharing a hug before setting up a video game to play as they usually did after a video. They didn’t immediately edit a video till the next day. You retreated back into the kitchen to finish the food that you had been making the entire time of their long conversation. It was fairly quick to make so when the rice was done you dished that up. The meatballs in a thick sweet and sour sauce was just finished when you dished that up also. You were digging in quick so you could call the boys in and give them some time to bond.

“Guys! Food is ready!” You called into the loud living room. It didn’t take long for the boys to be dishing up their food also.

“This looks so good.” Ethan announced as he sat at the table with Gray, “You getting anything?”

“I ate already. I’m going to go out so you can bond because you haven’t hung out alone in a long time.” You replied as you rinsed off your plate and utensils.

“We could all hangout.” Gray said but you shook your head.

“Hangout. I’ll be back tomorrow. I haven’t been at my apartment in a long time.”

In a way you lived with the twins about half other time but you still had your own place. IT was mainly for the safety of your parents mind, you didn’t want to cause your dad to have a heart attack; he was told by the doctors he was at risk of having one.

Why do you still have that place?” Gray asked.

“Because I like having my own place?”

“Her dad would have a heart attack if he knew we were sleeping together.”

“I thought he liked you? He gave you his blessing.”

“Oh he likes him but not me spending all my nights with him. He thinks I’m still a virgin.”

“Well I’ll call you later.” Ethan said kissing you while Grayson made a sound of disgust at the scene.

You chuckled at your future brother-in-law while grabbing your jacket on the way out of the apartment with a graceful move. Both of the boys nodded as you closed the door standing as you heard the excited sound of Grayson and an amused Ethan happy to make the best of the time alone together.

“It’s going to be a long night.”

*A Year and Half Later*

“I don’t think you should see me!”

“Grayson Bailey Dolan!” You yelled through the locked bathroom door where you had managed to corner the man, “I need-“

“You can’t see the groom!”

“YOU’RE NOT THE GROOM!” You screamed exasperated banging your closed fists against the door.

“I’m his twin though!”

“YOU SAID YOU WERE FRATERNAL!”

“Whoa! Y/N, calm down. What’s wrong?” Lisa asked coming up to you dressed up in a gorgeous dress and natural makeup.

“I need to talk to Gray but he won’t come out!” You said mostly towards Gray.

“Do you want to chance antthign and potentially lower your chances for a succ-“

“Grayson Dolan don’t you dare finish that sentence!” Lisa threatened towards her hiding son.

“Would you just give these to him!” You huffed dropping the vows on the ground before storming back to your dressing room.

“Ready?” You dad asked from the doorway of the room. You nodded refraining from biting your painted lips.

You weren’t entirely nervous as the normal bride probably would be because you knew the today was something that Ethan and you had been impatient for. Forever was only a few minutes away. You could deal with Grayson being weird and barging into your future house like Barbra-Jean from Reba.

“You’re up.” Cam smiled smoothing her hands on your dress getting out the non-existent wrinkles.

“Are you sure you don’t want to be at the alter? It would be okay.”

“You would have a lopsided wedding party and I want to watch it in front of me.”

She was right your childhood best friend was your maid of honour despite having not been as close as you once were. You hadn’t seen each other in person more than a handful of times in two years. She was working towards getting a medical degree and you were living in different cities. Both of your were actually British but you each moved to America at different times, both with dual citizenship thanks to your one American parent.

When the music start as the door in the church opened you were hit by the butterflies that had been dormant for the door. Ethan for the first since you first met him was dressed in a fitted dark navy almost black suit. Throughout knwing him he had always gone to a button up shirt and dark jeans for fancy occasions.

“Holy shit.” You mumbled seeing that Ethan had said the same thing at the same time.

“Did you really think he would be wearing his notorious denim dress shirt?” Dad chuckled tucking your hand in the crook of his elbow. You let a nervous giggle out before straightening up.

It was when he had to hand you off to Ethan that he began to cry softly. He was havin a hard time taking his hand off yours finally seeing his little girl change her number one man in her life. He was shaking while placing your hand in Ethan’s and letting go.

“You can let go now, Daddy. You can let go your little girl is ready to do this on my own. It's gonna be a little bit scary but I want you to know. I'll be okay now, Daddy You can let go.” You whispered into his ear as he shakily nodded his head.

With a kiss to your cheek he sat down next your mother letting a deep breath out as the service began. His separated wife made a strange movement by grabbing his hand in hers as they watched their daughter become a wife.

“We are gathered here today…”

The best day of your life went by fast with the ceremony happening in the morning that had been so beautiful and exactly like you had envisioned. The vows were so well thought out and romantic you had have relived that hour countless times and still be so affected by the words. Now you were at the head of the room at your table with the now cut cake being ate. You knew that you would regret eating so much food later but it was your wedding so you deserve to over eat.

“We’re married.” Ethan whispered into your ear his breath tickling your neck.

“Yeah.” You smiled watching as everyone looked at their glasses once they were filled with relief.

“Do you want any wine?” Ethan asked having noticed you were only drinking water the entire time.

“No thanks. You know I’m not big on alcohol.” You smiled to yourself as your newlywed husband finished his wine off.

“Ethan?” Gray asked from his seat next to his twin brother. His gaze was fixed on the bottom of his wine glass.

“What?” Ethan asked turning towards him.

“Look at your glass.” He replied shocked.

Ethan frowned confused as he looked into the bottom of his now empty wine glass where there was two bears engraved on the bottom. They were lined with gold easily showcasing each bear holding a pink or blue ribbon and a question mark between them. It was a hidden message that was inside every glass in the building.

“There’s another guest here was invited by me.” You giggled.

“So we’re starting out own family earlier than we initially planned?” Ethan asked completely shocked.

“Yes. In seven months we’ll be parents to a baby. I found out a couple days ago when I was sick and they needed blood to get my iron. Doctor accidently checked off the box for pregnancy test.” You laughed as Ethan let out a chuckled at the sheer luck.

“I’m going to be an uncle.” Grayson whispered grinning manically to himself.

“I’m going to be father!” Ethan exclaimed with excitement.

“E, tell everyone to look into their empty glasses.”

Following your instructions Ethan snagged the DJ’s mic gaining the attention of everyone in the room as it wasn’t time for speeches just yet. Everyone smiled at the excitement that Ethan was showing towards everyone and it was inspiring.

“A couple minutes ago my wife…whoa that’s weird to say…told me that I’m going to be a father.” Ethan grinned, “She surprised me by this. Look into the bottom of your glass.”

A collective gasp was heard as it cemented inside their minds that there was a future Dolan child would be in the world. The first people to be at your sides so fast were your in-laws with huge smiles and tears of happiness. Grayson was hugging his twin as if his life depended on it. Grayson was only slightly sad at how fast things had changed since this morning.

“Congrats! This is amazing!” Lisa grinned pulling her oldest son into a hug as Sean hugged you also.

Your mother and father joined you all to give both Ethan and you hugs even though your dad was ignoring the fact of how you had gotten pregnant. Your Dad was practically sobbing compared to how he had been giving you away. Ethan had dropped to his knees to place either hand on your stomach and leaning close to talk to his unborn child. You weren’t surprised when Grayson crouched beside his twin to whisper a few words that were lost to you. Before you realized what was happening he was hugging you close.

“I can’t believe this.” Gray chuckled not ending the hug, “I remember when you two first got together and now you’re married with a kid on the way. Things change so fast.”

“Gray you’ll still be a huge part of our lives. You’re still going to have a place to crash with us.”

“Actually I will be living next door to you. It’s official.” Gray smiled, “My realtor closed the deal yesterday.”

“Are you serious!” Ethan exclaimed excited getting off the floor.

“Yeah.” Gray smiled pulling Ethan into a hug again, “Good thing we pre-filmed videos. Remember to have fun on your honeymoon.”

“No problem or complaints on our side.” Ethan smiled holding your hand, “Nothing is going to change about our career. We’ll still film even when I’m a father.”

“Honey it’s time for your first dance.” Dad interrupted clapping Ethan on the shoulder and squeezing yours.

Not even a full week passed by before Ethan began to really miss his twin, it was like that video from years ago all over again. You would be lying if you said you didn’t miss Gray either and just wanted him to be here exploring with you guys once the third day had past. You were supposed to be gone for two or three weeks.

“Ethan, maybe we should hed back to LA.” You admitted watching as the guilt flashed across your husbands face.

“No we still have a week.”

“We both aren’t having as much fun as we would have with Grayson here to annoy us.”

“Are you sure?”

“We have years to go on holidays. Imagine when Grape comes and the amount of fun we’ll have as a family?”

“Head home?” He asked as you rolled onto your side holding onto your small bump forming. His hands rested on your while he stared lovely where your unborn child was growing.

“Yeah. Can we get food before we go?” You asked.

“We just ate breakfast.”

“Grape is hungry.” You chuckled while Ethan pressed a kiss to your cheek.

You were so in love with him that it was insane. Now you had a small part of him growing inside of you with a child that would probably be like their father and uncle. Crazy, happy and hilarious people. Your type of people.

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