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#oh did I mention the majority of reviews for the movie in my country are negative
semicollected · 9 months
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There I was, thinking the barbie movie was straightforward enough in it's themes of how the patriarchy is bad for everyone
Enter: a friend of a friend claiming the barbie movie was borderline misandrist
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absolutebl · 2 years
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hi! i graduated from film school this year & i've been reading thru ur blog for weeks now. u've talked abt cinematography before & it's a subject i'd love to hear more of ur thoughts abt. which shows do u believe use cinematic storytelling (framing, staging, symbolic parallels, lighting, color coding) to their advantage the most? shows which benefit from a rewatch/slower watch in order to notice visual details & which can be analyzed in terms of visual language. which would be ur top picks? ty!!
OOO, what a good question.
10 Best Uses of Cinematic Storytelling in BL 
Okay, I should say up front that this is not BL's strength.
Second, I work tangential to ET but my degrees are not in film studies. So, much of what I know has been gleaned from coworkers and just floating constantly in and out of the industry, I may not always use the right terms. 
The post where I get the most weedy about filming technique is actually the one where I talk about different directors in BL (their styles, camera preferences and camera angle choices, that kind of thing). 
BL Directors - Overview
Finally, for each pick, I’m going to talk first about what I liked about the story, and then how the filming technique is used to serve that. 
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1. Restart After Come Back Home AKA Risutato wa tadaima no ato de
Atmospheric study in rural Japan meets complex family dynamics built on a romance framework of city boy meets country boy. It’s beautiful and icy sweet. Slow moving in places but ultimately worth your patience. Full review here.
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This was the first BL that came to mind when asked this question. This movie highlights Japan’s sweeping atmospheric style (learned at the feet of Kurosawa) applied to a very simple little BL story about coming home. Like with HIs the move, the Japanese countryside itself is a major player and character, but unlike His this movie really makes use of its beauty as a metaphor for possibilities and acceptance. Some of the establishing shots are truly breathtaking. The use of color and shadow is also tailored without being brazen. The film uses it to contrast the the two leads, one of whom is closed off from his family and his home and, to a certain extent, life but open to love, and the other who is open to all sensation and the outside world, but closed off to love. How these two men are filmed, framed, and lit is interwoven with these traits - dependent on their internal emotional states and whether they are together or alone. Cold lighting, sometimes too direct, when they are feeling exposed or challenged, darker cool hues when they are internally reflective, warmer even angry reds and golds when they are coping with emotions around connection and intimacy with each other. And finally the closing shot of bright full day, revolving sparkles and lens flairs that’s implying a forthright acceptance and unity, not just of each other, but of themselves. 
It is, simply put, a really beautiful movie to just watch as a visual piece of art, we are so lucky it also happens to be BL. 
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2. I Want to See Only You AKA Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai
This is a beautiful piece of cinema well acted, about two boys who are opposite personalities and grew up together. It is very pretty and this is the kind of atmospheric elegantly performed BL that only really comes from Japan (complete with dead fish kisses - what you thought Korea invented them? oh no). I felt like I was “supposed to like it” more than I did. Ultimately I was left feeling as if I had seen it all before. So for me this was lovely but slightly unmemorable. 
Another show that is VERY similar is His the series (I Didn't Think I Would Fall In Love AKA His - Koisuru Tsumori Nante Nakatta). Only it has a beach setting. 
I mention these two in this post and at this juncture, because they are very stylistically Japanese but lack intentionality to their filming. So they feel workmanlike in a way that I often accuse Thai BL of.. It’s almost as if in coming from Japan they can’t NOT be pretty about it. Like good filming technique is so expected, it’s part of the DNA. In actually, both these stories might have been served better if the filming were more gritty and raw, sticky, like BLs from Taiwan or the Philippines, but Japan (like Korea) doesn’t do that. 
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3. Seven Days
Never doubt my ability to recommend this show. One of the best live action yaois ever made, with perfectly structured angst, fantastic characters and acting, and no problematic tropes (rare in Japanese BL). The leads have excellent chemistry although it’s low heat there’s still some cute mutual kisses.
Seven Days pretty much used the original manga as a storyboard with just a few exceptions. And yet because it takes itself and it’s characters seriously (this in not a slapstick JBL) it’s softer and less cartoony than most Japanese live action yaoi. The color pallet is muted, and staging and farming is almsot too simplistic but somehow smooth and organic, rather than choppy or stilted. It looks genuine, not fantastical (see Korea coming up). The cuts are gentle with us, it never feels hurried or rushed, even though this is not a very long piece. It’s classy without being in your face about it.
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This is spot on cinematography entirely subsumed by a story. It’s point (if ti can be said to have one) is that it doesn’t have a point of view, and therefore the story just shines. Never once will you feel thrown out by a perfect shot, and yet, every shot is perfect. This is cinema FOR story. This director trusted the script and the actors implicitly and did not feel the need to do anything fancy, which is, in and of itself, remarkable. This is like a perfectly executed piece of sushi. It doesn’t need anything, no sauce, no seasoning. The filming itself relishes its own simplistically.   
I actually picked these first 3 BLs intentionally, and all from Japan. Because I feel like they kind of show the range of Japanese cinema has when it is being subtle. By which I mean less derivative of manga and owing much less slapstick. (See something like My Love Mix Up.) 
So now let’s move into the relm of manga filming styles. 
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4. Minato’s Laundromat AKA Minato Shouji Koin Randorii 
As of writing this post this show hasn’t ended yet, so not review, you can read my watch along here. But I am still picking it on the basis of the way they use doorways and transitional spaces to represent where the characters are in their different life stages and emotional development (and how they flipped that at the end). 
Also this BL is cribbed directly from the manga, shot for shot in places.
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This show is an exploration of how maturity is defined under the contest of an age gap romance, roles in society, and liminality - crossing the threshold form child to adult, from fear of love to acceptance, from immaturity to maturity. The series uses characters in doorway, reaching through them, crossing them, and notions of inside spaces versus outside spaces to represent this. I talk about it a lot in my watch along so I won’t rehash here but it is actually BRILLIANT. 
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5. Old Fashion Cupcake
This show had me from the moment they broke the egg yolk with the chopsticks in the opening credits. It’s about a younger man with a long cherished crush on his boss (who is ten years older and going through a midlife crisis) who decides to save and seduce said boss with pancakes. It’s wholesome, comforting, sexy, and a very necessary narrative about still having hope, interests, and openness to affection at any age. It’s coming of age/queerness packaged in a subtle critique of expectations around masculinity and love and loneliness... and it’s beautiful. Full review here.
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The filming style is very much Japan’s close camera work, super tunneled into spaces, confined and almost, but not quite, claustrophobic. It’s using that to highlight how trapped by inertia Nozue feels, and how trapped by his feelings Togawa feels. Nozue in particular is filmed at home hidden, hiding, in the dark, shadowed, and withdrawn - as tidy as his place is, it (and how he occupies it) is an extension of his loneliness and self isolation. 
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The cinematographer is using that in contrast to the moments of pull back and central framing when the couple is shown sitting and eating together, usually brightly lit, showing them both opening up to each other and, in Nozue’s case, to sensation. 
The very final shot of the series, with the big cheerful window, and Togawa feeding Nozue across the table is a representation of how freed they both are by their acceptance of each other. 
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Not to mention the way the food is shot in this show, and how food and openness to new sensation are used (and filmed) as an allegory for sexual awakening (lust in terms of indulgence - I will never get over those hamster cheeks) and consequently (ultimately) fulfillment. 
More on Japan’s cinematic style here. 
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6. Cherry Blossoms After Winter 
Korea took on early Japanese sweet yaoi but gave it their signature softness and precise production style with a STUNNING color palette (beautiful pastels and sun-saturated over-exposure), manga framing style, some traditional BL character archetypes, that tiny edge of bullying roughness and out-of-control seme, plus FINALLY a palatable take on the stepbrothers trope and it was, in a word, classic. Sophisticated and understated CBAW is not slow, it’s just subtle. 
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This show is dream-like, as if the whole thing took place under cold water on a warm spring day, dappled sunlight slanting through trees above. Is there plot or peril? Not really. Do we care? Also, not really. Look, I can’t help it, I’m old school and so is this show. I grew up reading sweet yaoi, and this was THAT YAOI just on my screen. There’s no objectivity with me and CBAW. It’s a beautiful pastiche and I loved it for how it made me feel and what it reminded me of. It’s not flawless, but it is a wonderful experience. It’s like a Maxfield Parrish BL. Is the filming style serving story, I’m not sure, but it is serving nostalgia. 
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7. Color Rush
A unique paranormal twist elevates this classic high school drama into a pitch-perfect allegory for the queer coming out experience and one of the best BLs of all time (I will fight you on this). 
It’s no accident that I chose so much Color Rush for my screen caps in the post on yaoi framing styles. It is SUCH a manga (yes I know, it’s Korean). The cuts from one shot to the next could actually just have stepped off the page. If  Wes Anderson did BL it’s be something like this. 
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Of course the use of color is just phenomenal - the range of hoodies, and the different backgrounds. The marriage of simplistic wardrobe with simplistic setting is about precision not the mundane. How Yoo Han is using color to seduce AT ALL TIMES is intentional brutal as we are never to forget the threat this entails (our POV and this movie’s is entirely Yeon Woo). Color is the vehicle and the predator, the danger and the light, it is sexual awakening, it is being gay, it is embracing the monster within - right up to and including the color rush itself as something essentially orgasmic. I can tell you, purely on the basis of the fact that the manwha was in black and white, that this BL must be better that its source because it had color to use in its storytelling. Because it had color to play with. If that’s not the visual voice of cinematography telling me a tall tale, I don’t know what is. 
I will never get over this show. 
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8. Semantic Error 
Korea hit it entirely out of the Parks with Semantic Error by doing a university set BL featuring everything we expect from BL just done exactly right. It has Korea's signature quality executed perfectly, and added bonus good story, great pacing, stunning visuals, and fantastic chemistry. You cannot ask for more from a BL, let alone a KBL. And the film team was part of this. 
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Frankly I would have used screen caps from Semantic Error as much as Color Rush in that post on yaoi framing techniques, but I wrote that post too long ago. This BL owes more to its Japanese roots than any other Korean BL I’ve seen: story, characters, and filming style. That image above with the backlit windows and the empty classroom? Could have popped out of Takumi or Boys Love (would have been more blue toned though), not just classic BL but the beginning of BL. 
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This is another KBL one where the use of color, particularly contrast, is incredibly strong. In this one cool vs warm tones are tools for characterization. (Usually they are used for mood, but not really in this show.) JaeYoung is usually wearing warm tones or shot in warm lighting and with warm backgrounds (reds, oranges, yellows), except when he enters SangWoo’s space. SangWoo is the opposite, almost always in cool tones and lighting (greens, blues, purples). So we get this fire and ice contrast between the two of them, with the lighting playing up who is “winning” the argument or the intimacy levels by being either warm or cool (or transitioning between them in the course of the shot). When JaeYoung manages to crumble SangWoo’s defensives, it gets warmer, when SangWoo is in charge of the narrative drive, it gets cooler. It’s very clever. 
I think Korea is particularly good that this tonal character association and mood enhancement because they use it in high concept Kpop MVs all the time. 
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9. Cutie Pie
Very high production and a lot of visual references to yaoi gave this show a whiff of Japan but ultimately it stayed firmly in Thailand’s BL camp veering from absurd to appealing to annoying and then back to absurd again. If you can roll with the arranged marriage conceit and very lifestyle D/s relationships, the chemistry is spot on even if the plot is naff and sappy and driven by miscommunication. Watch this one for the pretty, give it a pass on depth. 
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But if it has so little story for the cinematography to support, why did I pick it? 
I like the setting chosen (it’s no accent this is top of my list of best Architecture in BL) but I also love the clean filming style, it’s very very manga for Thailand. Cheewin does this well sometimes (see alos SCOY). Not really the best BL by any stretch of the imagination, but there is something candy bright about this one that really harkens to reading yaoi, and Thailand just doesn't do that very often. This is why I chose it. 
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Wardrobe, setting, and color choices are all used to really highlight the differences between the characters in terms of age and life stage. Also Zee has really learned how to push his physicality since Why Ru U? so that his body positioning in particular just looks EXACTLY like the seme of some 2000s yaoi. 
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10. Until We Meet Again 
UWMA is a work of narrative genius, and all the actors all turn in stellar performances, it is the best Thai BL from a storytelling perspective. It’s two interwoven narratives, present and past, of lovers who have been reincarnated in order to find each other again and forgive each other (and their families) for that past. 
But this is a strange one to chose for this list, since the cinematography is workmanlike at best. There’s repeat cuts and other annoying tics, and general hallmarks of New’s style as a director (which is, quite frankly not particularly stylish). BUT, one of the fun things to watch for in this BL is how New contrasts central framing with peekaboo (AKA dirty) framing with regards to the two lead couples. 
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Korn & In, the past selves, are secretive, scared, and hiding everything. They are usually filmed with things dirtying the screen: walls, and other objects, so we get this voyeuristic feeling of always peeking around a corner at them, and seeing something we shouldn’t. The few times we see their intimacy fully framed it’s at night, staggered, and/or off center. This illustrates not just the secrecy but the instability of the relationship. 
Dean & Pharm, the present selves, the camera treats as a representation, in part, of Dean having learned from his past not to hide who he loves. They are often filmed full figure, and centrally framed, full lighting, bold and direct, standing upright, holding hands, or kissing. 
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In other words, New is using framing techniques to highlight in a way the couples “outness,” the state of their relationship, is related to the outside world and also how they feel about it and themselves.
And there they are, my 10 picks. 
Honorable Mention: Light on Me 
The filming in this show was precision engineered. The frame was kept uncluttered, characters appeared exactly in the center, there was little visual noise, and the lighting was full on, even in night shots. To me this reflected the character of TaeKyung - honest and almost stilted in his mannerisms. I feel like the director filmed this series as if the show itself were TaeKyung: careful and clear and specific.
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This may come off as one-note or simplistic to a casual viewer but it’s actually quite difficult to film something so precisely and still make it interesting to watch. It forced the viewer to focus almost entirely on the actor’s faces, their nuanced emotion, and their interpersonal relationships to the exclusion of all else. Lucky for us those actors served the lens beautifully.
There is literally NOTHING distracting about this directing style. It’s like the camera was a neutral white room, a well-lit gallery in which the narrative hung suspended for us all to stand and stare at in hushed silence.
I mention not so much because it serves up story, because it doesn’t, but because it is the opposite, it allows the story to serve itself. 
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All my stuff on the BL filming side of things: 
Yaoi filming, staging & framing techniques 
Favorite Uses of Metonymy In BL 
BL Directors - Overview
Lighting
Diffuse point lighting
Backlighting & Silhouettes 
Unidirectional focused lighting 
Spotlight on romantic couple moments 
That lens flare moment 
Framing
Staggered couple framing
Linear cinematography + near perfect framing, in distance shots 
Central Aperture Framing 
Peekaboo Framing 
Acting
Favorite Subtle Character Attributes 
Ohm’s Acting 
Gun's Acting
We Best Love: Seme/Uke & Sam Lin’s Acting Screen Presence (Charisma + Experience)
Saint’s Physicality  
OffGun & The Evolution of Chemistry for a BL Pair 
Why Nanon Korapat's Acting is FANTASTIC 
Meta Post - All My Stuff on the BL Industry - Master Post talking about financing & production: This is a complication by request of all the posts and discussions this blog has hand on the BL industry as an industry, includes studios, production, country analysis, actor and fan behavior 
(source) 
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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years
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If I Fell For You (Part 15) - Trouble In Paradise
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Summary: The reader is enjoying settling into her newfound children’s book career and shares how important the bracelet she gave Jensen is to her. A rainy day allows the reader to enjoy her shift into motherhood despite all of the bumps that go with it. But not everything is smooth sailing for the happy couple...
Masterlist
Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader
Word Count: 5,600ish
Warnings: language, angst, mention of past abuse, nightmares, major angst
A/N: Uh oh. Big uh oh. Please enjoy and let me know what you think!
________
Two Weeks Later
“Honey bun,” sang Jensen as he stepped into your home office you’d set up in the small reading room in the house. “Must you work today?”
“I do occasionally have to work on that drawing thing,” you said. He pouted and laid out on the daybed, picking up a copy of the third book. “Give me another hour to finish with these pages.”
“Can I hang out and watch you draw?” he asked.
“Knock your socks off,” you said. You picked up your stylus again and went back to your pad, Jensen sitting up and watching from the other side of the room. “You can sit closer if you want.”
He got up and pulled over a chair, crossing his legs in it.
“I basically draw using my stylus and this pad and it shows up on my laptop screen,” you said.
“We could get you a better screen, like your own separate work computer. I know your stories are picking up a lot of steam.”
“I’m okay for now. All I need to do is finish illustrating this book and my five book deal is done and ready for print,” you said.
“Can I make a request?”
“I would love to put in a giraffe for Zepp but the story takes place in the woods,” you said.
“Baby giraffe? Maybe just in the background?” he asked.
You backed out of your current page and went to the last two where the foxes and wolves were playing with their friends. You tapped on a tree and erased it, sketching out a loose shape.
“Look up a giraffe for me?” you asked. He tapped away on his phone and pulled up a picture. “Thanks.”
You drew a picture of a rough giraffe, softening it some before adding colors.
“You’re really good at that,” he said.
“The characters are easy. Backgrounds can get boring,” you said. You went back to your original set of pages and worked quietly, Jensen watching carefully. “Yes?”
“Just wanna spend time with you is all,” he said, resting his head on your shoulder.
“Okay, baby,” you said. You worked for another hour, Jensen asking the occasional question but mostly staying silent and close by. After you sent off the pages for review you turned to him, Jensen offering a soft smile in return. “All set with work for the day.”
“Awesome,” he said.
“Where’s the munchkins?”
“A movie,” he said. You ran your fingers through his hair and he leaned into it. “Tell me a secret.”
“A secret? I don’t think I have too many of those left from you,” you said. He opened his eyes and looked at you through his lashes. “What?”
“You said you got this on vacation,” he said, holding up his wrist, the bracelet you’d put on him two weeks ago still there. “When we were down there, I was talking to Ray and he kinda implied it wasn’t just a souvenir.”
“I was upset that day when he bought it for me. It meant I was safe was all,” you said.
“How long after did your mom…”
“A few months. She went on bed rest after that trip.”
“Y/N, I know when you’re holding back, honey. I would never judge or tell anyone anything. You know that.”
“You got hurt because you lost someone and you got hurt and it sucks right? But it’s kinda like something happened and then you heal from it right?”
“Yeah…” he said. “What don’t I know?”
“You know how anxious you were to get in the car and drive down to the beach?” you asked as he nodded. “You’ve never been afraid of a person, Jensen. It’s like that feeling...but everyday and you’re expected to live your life normally when you constantly have that over your head.”
He was quiet, glancing past you as the room grew darker from some passing clouds outside.
“Canada wasn’t the first time you saw your father since you were adopted, was it,” he said.
“You wouldn’t believe what a good lawyer and shitty laws will do for a piece of shit like that,” you said.
“You were a kid.”
���With zero physical evidence. Everything was circumstantial. So he got out and he came to apologize or some bullshit and Ray decked him.”
“The more I learn about Ray, the more I like him.”
“My mom kicked him in the nuts.”
“I really like that woman,” he said. You smiled and he moved his chair closer, pulling you into his lap. “I don’t mean to make you talk about your dad. I was curious was all.”
He went to take off the bracelet when you put a hand over it.
“I don’t want to remind you of something bad, sweetheart.”
“Like I said, I was upset. Very upset and in public and I went down to the beach to try to hide away. Ray bought that for me and told me I was safe when he put it on me. All it means to me is that you’re safe.”
“What about you? What do you have?” he asked quietly. You cocked your head and moved your hand to rest over his chest. “Alright, sort of a dumb question.”
“Not dumb,” you said, trailing your fingers down his chest.
“Guess you’ll just have to stay as close as humanly possible.”
“I don’t have a problem with that,” you said.
“Do you have a restraining order against your father?”
“No but that’s only because Ray managed to get him kicked out of the country. He found some loophole law. He was born in the Yukon so technically he’s not American and he got him kicked back.”
“Scratch that. Ray is my new favorite person,” he said. “If only we could send him someplace we’ll never visit like...a deserted island. Or Hell.”
“I appreciate the thought but I’m not scared of him anymore,” you said. “I am however afraid our plans of lunch at the brewery are going to get rained out.”
“We can enjoy ourselves right here. I’ve never heard a complaint yet about my grilling.”
“You know what? I got the perfect idea.”
“Okay,” said Jensen, sliding the foil packet off the grill and onto JJ’s plate. You’d decided to have lunch on the grill, sitting out under the covered back patio off the playroom. It was pouring rain but you were plenty dry there. “Chicken, marinara sauce and cheese. Then we got chicken, ketchup and baby carrots for Arrow. Zeppy wanted to try barbecue sauce and onion which sounded good to me and then Y/N went for the salmon and lemon.”
You helped the twins open up their foil packets and get their food on their plates, dicing up the chicken for them before going to your own plate.
“Daddy,” said Zeppelin while he chewed on a big piece of chicken. Jensen hummed and worked on his own food. “Can we play race cars after lunch?”
“Sure,” he said, JJ shaking her head.
“I don’t wanna play cars,” she said. Zeppelin stared at her and his bottom lip wobbled. “You’re a cry baby.”
“JJ, that’s rude,” you said, Jensen glancing at you and nodding. “Apologize to your brother.”
“Sorry,” she mumbled. 
“We’re gonna play cars after lunch and you’re welcome to join,” said Jensen. “Your brother goes along with what you girls want to play quite a bit so I think you can do the same for him.”
“I still don’t wanna play cars,” she mumbled.
“You play cars with the Padalecki boys all the time,” you said.
“Not little kid cars,” she said. “He doesn’t know how to play right.”
You saw Zeppelin getting upset again and sighed.
“There’s no wrong way to play,” you said. “Zepp’s littler than you. You gotta be the big sister and do what he wants sometimes.”
“Mom would have played dress up,” she grumbled. “Not stupid cars.”
“Enough,” said Jensen. “You’re old enough to know better.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Your brother wants to play cars. We played horses all morning long and you barely let him have a turn at that so like I said, we’re gonna play what he wants and you are welcome to join us but if you don’t want to, you can play something else,” he said. 
“Baby,” she said under her breath. Jensen didn’t catch it but you did.
“JJ you’re in timeout after lunch. Ten minutes,” you said. 
“I didn’t-”
“You just called him a baby. You want to make it fifteen?” you asked.
“You’re not my mom! You can’t give me timeouts,” she said.
“Half an hour now,” said Jensen. She stared at him and he shook his head. “Eat your lunch.”
Zeppelin spent half of it crying quietly and JJ barely touched hers before she was following Jensen inside. You threw your head back and sighed before you went inside to get some tissues. When you came back out Arrow was hugging him tightly.
“Let’s clean you up, buddy,” you said as you squatted down beside them. She let go of him and you wiped off his face and helped him blow his nose. “Feel better?”
“We can play dress up,” he said. You picked him up and hoisted him on your hip. 
“We’re gonna play cars. Arrow, do you want to play with us?” you asked. She smiled and nodded. “Hey how about you go wash your hands and then you can bring out the bucket of cars and we’ll play out here. How’s that sound Zepp?”
“Okay,” he said. Arrow went inside and you carried him around as you collected the trash and threw it in the bag you brought out. You tied it up and left it in the corner to put in the bin later before you you walked to the edge of the covered patio, rain coming down at a decent rate. “Y/N you’re my mom right?”
“I’m one of your moms,” you said. “I’m gonna adopt you that way everybody can know I am though.”
“Cool,” he said softly, resting his head on your shoulder. “Mom can we play in the rain?”
“Hear any thunder?” you asked. He shook his head. “See any lightning?”
“Nuh uh,” he said.
“Then we can play in the rain all you want,” you said. You walked out to the grass and spun around with him, getting a giggle out of him. “Did you hear that?”
“Hear what?” he asked. You spun around again and he laughed.
“There it is again!” you said. He giggled and you spun around a few times until you were dizzy and took a seat. He hugged you and kissed your cheek as you noticed Jensen leaning against the post of the patio. He was smiling and you hopped up with Zeppelin, waving him around in the air until you were back under cover. You set him down and he ran over to Arrow, picking out his favorite cars from the bucket and handing her some. 
“Well that might have been one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen,” he said. 
“You took a picture, didn’t you.”
“Oh several,” he said. He glanced back at the twins and then at you. “It clicked for you just now didn’t it.”
“Being a mom? Yeah.”
“You didn’t look to me on how to discipline JJ and you made him feel better and you made him laugh. You went full mom there and I’ve kinda been waiting for that.”
“I know it’s just playing they’re arguing over but I just hate...there is so much of you in him,” you said.
“I know and that feeling will never go away but it means you love ‘em and loving them is my only requirement for us working so this was actually a really good thing.”
“Those two are so sweet,” you said.
“It’s the twin thing. Oh what fun we have to look forward to when they are teenagers and they lie to us for one another,” he chuckled.
“Yeah but I’ll take it. Did you really give her a half hour timeout?”
“Fifteen minutes. She needs to share more and he doesn’t like confrontation so he goes along with what she wants but it’s not her road or the highway.”
“She’s been a little…”
“I know. Since we told them about the engagement,” he said. “We gotta talk to her on her own.”
“Let me take a crack at her first?” you asked.
“You got a hunch?”
“I don’t think having a mom again is a problem. I think the idea of losing a mom again is.”
“That makes sense considering she was attached to your hip before all this.”
“I’m gonna go see if I can get to the bottom of this. Now go play cars,” you said. He kissed your cheek and you headed inside, drying off some with a towel in the laundry room before you went up to JJ’s bedroom. You knocked and cracked open the door, catching her splayed out on her bed. “JJ. Can we talk?”
She rolled and put her back to you. You sat down on the edge of her bed and took a deep breath.
“You know your brother did what you wanted all day. You have to share,” you said. She didn’t say anything and you lay back on the bed, turning your head. She rolled back the other way and you sat up. She rolled again and you tilted your head back. “JJ do you want me to be your mom?”
“No,” she mumbled. 
“Are you lying?” She didn’t move and you sat back, her face scrunched up. “Are you scared if I’m your mom something bad will happen to me?”
“I don’t want two dead moms,” she said. 
“I have two dead moms,” you said. She blinked her eyes open and sat up. “My first mom, I never met her. She died giving birth to me.”
“You only had a dad when you were born?” she asked. You nodded and pulled her into your lap. “Did he get married again?”
“No. My dad was very mad my mom died. He took that out on me. He was a bad guy. He went to jail and I got adopted by my mom when I was your age. Ray was her boyfriend. He acted like he was my dad in a lot of ways. I was sixteen when my mom died. I understand it hurts, sweetie, and that it’s scary and you don’t ever want to feel like that again.”
“I thought if I was bad you and daddy wouldn’t...and then I don’t have to feel bad again.”
“I am so sorry honey but you can’t stop that feeling from never coming back. The only way you could not get it would be to not love anyone or anything and that’s not a life at all. It’s the price you pay for loving someone. Your mom was an accident. But Daddy is young and I’m even younger and I promise you will not have to feel that way about me for a very, very long time.”
“How long?”
“How about fifty years?”
“Fifty years? That’s forever,” she said. 
“I’ll give you fifty years if I can be your mom and you stop picking on Zepp. Deal?”
“Okay. I’m sorry I made him cry.”
“I’m not the one that needs an apology,” you said. “Now do you want stay in here all by yourself or do you want to come play with us?”
“I can play?” she asked.
“Absolutely,” you said. You got up and carried her down on your back, setting her down to let her run off out to the porch. Jensen got up from his seat and held up a finger, ducking back inside to where you were.
“That’s what I like to see,” he said as she gave Zeppelin a hug and he handed her a car.
“I did have to promise not to die for fifty years.”
“Fifty? You got off easy. I had to promise a hundred after the accident,” he chuckled. “I should have noticed she was scared.”
“I have more experience being a scared little girl than you do. I got experience with letting people get close again too,” you said.
“How’s that working out for ya?” he smirked.
“He’s lucky he’s hot,” you said. He threw his arm over your shoulders and grinned. “Do you want to get married in the fall?”
“This fall?” he asked.
“Can we pull it off that fast?” you asked.
“Yeah. We don’t have to book a venue which is the hardest part. I don’t see why not. What’s the rush?” he asked.
“It’s easier to adopt them if we’re married,” you said. “I don’t really want to wait longer than we have to if that’s alright.”
“I’d say let’s go drive down to city hall and get a justice of the peace right now if I knew my mother wouldn’t kill me for it. How about I call up the lawyer and ask him to start prepping the paperwork as if we already were so it’s all set to go,” he said.
“You have a lawyer?” you asked. “They’d do that?”
“Y/N, honey. My taxes alone frighten me not to mention I own a business with employees and what qualifies as a business write off still confuses me and wait you don’t have a lawyer for your book deal?”
“Should I have one?” 
“Greg is your lawyer now,” he said. “He’s good. He’ll do all the paperwork for us.”
“Oh good cause all the forms online were confusing the hell out of me,” you said. He shook his head and pulled you in close. 
“Silly goose,” he said, a loud boom of thunder shaking the house. “Let’s get the crew inside before it pours.”
“Who wants to build a fort?” you asked that afternoon. JJ jumped up and down on the couch and Jensen walked in with an arm full of blankets and sheets. Three little hands shot up and Jensen lazily tossed the blankets on the couch, covering the three of them.
“Hm, where’d those three munchkins run off to…” he said, Arrow ducking her head out first, hair all in her face. Jensen giggled and she rolled her eyes, the other two climbing out. “Alright. I’m gonna grab clothes pins and a few more things. You guys start designing.”
You stood back and let JJ organize, figuring out her first choice of blanket for a roof was too small. Jensen returned with a bag of clips, some twine and the step ladder, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder.
“How they doing?” he whispered.
“Picking out the roof,” you said, Arrow rushing over and grabbing his hand as Zeppelin climbed on JJ’s back and held up a sheet over the two of them with one hand. You smirked and she let out another eye roll.
“Daddy, can you pick up Zeppy so then he can put the blankie up? I told them they’re too small,” she said.
“Sure,” he said. “Tell me where you want it to go.”
Twenty minutes later the family room was covered with sheets, tied off to the stairs, chairs, the ceiling fan after Jensen broke out the larger ladder to get up there and assured you it wouldn’t bring the whole thing crashing down. 
“Can we sleep in here tonight?” asked JJ. 
“I don’t see why not,” you said. “There’s plenty of room on the couch. We’ll bring down your comforters when it’s bedtime,” you said.
“Can we watch Cars?” asked Zeppelin, glancing at JJ. 
“Okay,” she said. She gave him a hug and picked him up, Jensen smiling to himself as he looked on.
“Can we get pizza for dinner like a real sleepover?” asked Arrow. 
“We did cook up all the chicken at lunch,” you said, giving Jensen a side eye.
“Yeah we’ll get one,” he said. “Why don’t you turn on your movie okay? We’ll be right there.”
You let Jensen pull you into the kitchen, smirking as he picked you up and sat you on the counter.
“Seems like today’s crisis has been averted,” you said.
“I’m sure they’ll go back to tormenting each other tomorrow but I’ll take it,” he said, reaching into the drawer next to you, pulling out a menu. “So. You interested in pizza?”
“Oh that looks interesting,” you said, taking the pamphlet out of his hand and tapping at a special. “One cheese, one speciality, boneless wings and garlic bread? My little carb loving heart is in love.”
“She’s not the only one,” he said, leaning up on his tip toes and kissing you. 
“Are you coming?” groaned JJ from in the fort. You shook your head and Jensen kissed your neck, even nibbling before he pulled back. You smacked his chest and he set the menu down, giving you a wink.
“We’re coming in right now. Don’t wait for us kiddo.”
You woke up sweating, Jensen shushing you, arms wrapped around you. You took a deep breath and caught the clock said it was almost three. You turned in his arms and buried your head in his chest, his hand rubbing up and down your back.
“You’re okay. Bad dream is all,” he said softly. You nodded and started to relax, flinching when there was more thunder. “Hey, it’s okay. Nothing’s gonna get ya.”
The thunder shook the house and you tensed up. Jensen pulled the covers over both your heads and you crammed in as close as humanly possible when more thunder hit.
“Honey look at me. Please look at me.” You lifted your head and saw a horrible face in front of you, a scream ripping out of your throat.
“Y/N,” you heard as you woke up absolutely drenched, Jensen’s hands on your face. “Honey, talk to me. Can you hear me?”
“Night terror,” you said quietly. 
“Yeah, JJ used to have them. I didn’t know adults could get them,” he said. 
“Can I have a cold washcloth? And some water?” you asked. He got out of bed and padded into the bathroom in his boxers, settling back into bed and handing you the water. You drank it down while he wiped off your face and neck, running it over your head. “Thanks.”
“You okay?” he asked. 
“Mostly feel embarrassed.” He frowned and you put the glass on your nightstand, staring down at your sweaty shirt. 
“Should I call Ray?”
“It was a stupid nightmare. I’m fine,” you said.
“You were sat up eyes wide open and talking and shouting and I couldn’t wake you up,” he said. “I know adults really shouldn’t be getting night terrors so maybe something triggered you or something during the day.”
“I know my triggers and I know when it’s just a stupid nightmare. Back off,” you said. You got out from under the hot covers and went outside to the balcony, the air nice and cool from the storm earlier. The slide of the door was loud in the the quiet and you rubbed your arm. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ve seen you have nightmares. That was a lot worse,” he said.
“I thought I saw someone watching the house earlier.”
“What?”
“It was the neighbor’s kid, the teenager. It was his friend and he came over late but I thought...it freaked me out. That on top of thinking about the fact my father is not rotting in a jail cell most likely sent me over the edge,” you said. He walked in front of you, resting his hands on your arms. “I’m okay. Needed some air was all.”
“Alright. Tell me if something like that happens again?” he asked. You hummed and he gave you a kiss. “Okay, sweetheart. Let’s head on back to bed.”
“What do you mean?” you growled into the phone the next evening. Jensen lifted his head from his book in the family room and you walked away, stepping out to the private patio area on the side of the house. “That’s not possible.”
“It’s been fifteen years. He has every legal right to be in the country.”
“In the country! He got an apartment seven minutes from where I live!” you said. “I have little kids here, Finn. Tell me there’s something I can do.”
“I can get a restraining order-”
“That doesn’t mean shit to him. I need him fucking deported. I need him gone.”
“Y/N, you know me. I have never agreed to it but he paid his debt as it was assigned and he quietly followed the law. He did what he was supposed to and I’m sorry but until he does something, I can’t do anything besides help you and your fiance’s family get a restraining order.”
“So until he does something horrible again, I can’t do anything about it.”
“Y/N.”
“No Finn. I appreciate the heads up but...I have to go.”
You hung up and squeezed your phone tight. He knew where you lived. He was minutes away and there was absolutely zero help until something went wrong. You sat on a bench and bounced your leg. Nothing could go wrong. You couldn’t let anything go wrong. Who knew what the son of a bitch would do to any one of them.
You stopped bouncing your leg just as you heard the door open. You lifted your head and stood, spinning around to Jensen standing there.
“Everything alright?”
“Actually no.”
“Who was on the phone?”
“My ex,” you said, swallowing. You crossed your arms and thought of the things Jensen had told you about acting and getting in character and all that. You were gonna destroy him. Fuck you were going to end up shattering him into a thousand pieces he’d never put back together. 
You couldn’t really lie just to keep them away from him, could you? 
You saw Arrow run past in the house and made your face hard. Broken heart but safe kids was worth it.
“I thought you didn’t talk to him anymore,” said Jensen. You turned up your chin and he smiled. “You are the worst actress in the world. Who was it really?”
“I think we’re moving too fast and I want to take a break and I would appreciate it if you gave me my space to figure this out on my own.”
“Uh, what?” he said. You brushed past him and he followed you in, all the way up to your bedroom. You got out a bag and he flipped it shut. “What the hell is going on? Who was on the phone?”
“My boyfriend,” you said. He stared at you and you sighed. “You’re a great guy but I’m sorry. I can’t do the house and kids thing. I want to go see the world and not be tied down and you’re just...you’re too damn old for me.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Maybe you should have trusted your first instincts when you saw me and Doug,” you said. He stared at you while you shoved some clothes in a bag. You slung it over your shoulder and he caught the backside of it. You took off your ring and put it on the table by the door, Jensen dropping his hand. “I just can’t do this anymore. It wasn’t you. I’m sorry. I really need to go.”
______
A/N: Read Part 16 here!
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classicmollywood · 4 years
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The Screwball Comedy Films Review
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There’s a book in there, I promise! I can’t believe I am on review #4 for Out of the Past Blog’s 2020 Classic Film Reading Challenge! This has been a blast and made me (in a good way) keep up with my reading! And also try to get my photography skills improved (not really working but that’s okay!).
Okay, let’s get to the actual review. The book’s full title is The Screwball Comedy Films: A History and Filmography, 1934-1942 and it was written by Duane Byrge and Robert Milton Miller. When I first opened this book, I got a little nervous because the title and picture on the cover sold me, but the Table of Contents seemed very textbook like. It is a wonderful thing I ignored my original assumption, because this book was more of an enjoyable reference book than a bland textbook. The book is set up into four major sections which I believe was the smartest way to intrigue a reader. Why you might ask? Because it’s kind of like in baseball (sports?) where you do a wind up and a pitch before the batter hits a home run. The wind up and the pitch are the first three sections - which are Major Performers, Major Writers, and Major Directors. The home run comes in the last section, The Films, 1934-1942. The book also explains why screwball comedy is so great. So let’s talk about that now!
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Katharine Hepburn and Cary Grant can’t believe I mentioned baseball too! Source: Britannica
So I used the baseball analogy because the term ‘screwball’ actually comes from that sport. But I don’t wanna talk too much sports because this a book review and my baseball knowledge is limited. This book really pointed out the comparison though and made me realize why screwball comedies are called well, screwball comedies. You could say, oh these are just romantic comedies. STOP! NO, HOLD ON A SECOND. Screwball films combine a specific formula, which yes, includes a love story and some comedy, but goes more in a satirical zone whereas traditional romantic comedies don’t always do that. There is usually some slapstick, witty fast talk, and some sort of ‘untraditional’ romantic pairing that usually ignores socio-economic boundaries and one of the characters is so zany it is hard to believe they are real and the other one keeps getting dragged into zany shenanigans even though they are the practical one. This is a gigantic paraphrase, but Byrge and Miller really do a good job of describing what makes a comedy more of the screwy variety. They also taught me something I should have known... but didn’t.
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In My Man Godfrey, Carole Lombard’s spoiled rich girl against William Powell’s butler is so Screwball. Source: Pinterest
It Happened One Night is crowned by the authors (and history) as the first ever screwball comedy. It has most of the identifiers above, and really was the guinea pig to see if this new genre would even survive. Once that film became a hit, earning Oscars galore, writers went full steam ahead to create that perfect chemistry that Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable had and the new ‘screwball formula’ that delighted audiences. I also learned that It Happened One Night had so many imitation films it isn’t even funny. The imitation was mainly in the plot, with the whole spoiled rich girl meets working class male on a cross country trip because she is escaping something or someone and then she realizes she doesn’t hate the working class life or the working class male. 
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The film that started it all! Source: Medium
The irony is Claudette Colbert starred in the first screwball and also in the last of the glorious period of screwball greatness that was 1934-1942. Colbert was in The Palm Beach Story with Joel McCrea. Why did screwball mania end? Because when a war is going on, it is kind of hard to focus on the fun shenanigans that follow the rich mixing with the poor with excitement. The Depression audience that started the screwball craze just simply grew out of it and had other things on their minds. But the ‘70s and ‘80s had a revival of sorts for the screwball genre (this book mentions What’s Up, Doc? and that is the perfect example of screwball revival).
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The film that was the closing chapter of the screwball era’s highpoint. Source: BFI
The first three chapters of this book are more in paragraph form, but are easy to read because they explain things with just the right amount of info but not to the point where you start getting overwhelmed. My favorite section of the first three is the one on the performers, because it was fun reading which actors and actresses dominated the genre and which ones only did a real toe dip and then moved on. If you were wondering, Carole Lombard was pretty much the queen of screwball and was in quite a few of those films and usually played the zany one. Lombard knew minor success in various genres but really shined when she was a bit ‘screwy’. Cary Grant had similar luck like Lombard, and the genre catapulted him to superstardom. I could go on and on about the other stars of the genre, but then it wouldn’t leave you anything to read in the book.
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Screwball royalty Grant and Lombard with Ronald Colman. The duo were in films together, but the main one is a drama. Source: bridiequality on Tumblr.
The reason why I loved the last section so much is because it lists almost all of the screwball comedies made between the ‘34 and ‘42 time period. It is also in chronological order and my brain works best chronologically when it comes to movies (my extensive movie collection is in chronological order and my friends think that’s weird but it isn’t! It’s how I am programmed, okay?!). The chapter lists the film, the year it was made, director, cast, does a small plot summary and also provides background on the film. For example, in the His Girl Friday spotlight, the authors talk about the plot and how Howard Hawks inspired the actors to do that rapid pace dialogue, which gives everything a more manic vibe. Then they describe how Rosalind Russell’s character is not the zany one this time, but in fact, it is Cary Grant’s character who gives us the doses of zany. They also explain how this film is the same yet different to others in the genre. The analysis of the films is very intellectual and you can tell the authors actually researched the films they are talking about, meaning it seems they actually watched the films they discuss. I have to point that out because it is obvious when someone is just talking the talk but has no clue what any of it means!
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They sure talk fast in this film! Source: Mental Floss
This book is a winner for those who love screwball films, want to know more about them, or just love classic film. I will say if you are not movie minded, you won’t like it. It is a shorter read but you will probably view it as a more academic book than entertaining. I really enjoyed reading this book, and because I love telling anecdotes, I am glad I bought this book. Last summer I was in Asheville and went to a champagne bar/bookstore. I saw this book and was intrigued but thought it was super expensive, so I walked away. But then the next day, I kept thinking about this book, with Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell on the cover, and went back and told them to take my moneys. The book wasn’t too expensive and once I got around to it, I am grateful that Cary and Roz caught my eye. 
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searchingwardrobes · 3 years
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Here’s my latest book review! If you want to purchase the book, please go here and click on my affiliate link, so I get a little money too :) All opinions, however, are my own. I had a lot to say about this book, so more under the cut!
Tagging @snowbellewells​ @reynoldsreads​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​ @xhookswenchx​ @welllpthisishappening​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @ekr032-blog-blog​ @singersdd​ @cutieodonoghue​ Who the heck wants to be tagged in these reviews? I can never remember, lol!
I am a huge advocate of “read the book first” when it comes to movie adaptations. Nine times out of ten, the book is better than the movie. So I think that the reverse is true: if you watched the movie first, definitely read the book. I watched a cute Hallmark movie called Once Upon a Prince (no, it wasn’t a Christmas movie!), and when I saw it was based on a book, I decided I needed to read it. After all, one of my favorite authors, Denise Hunter, had two of her books turned into Hallmark movies and neither lived up to the book. Therefore, I had a good feeling about Once Upon a Prince by Rachel Hauck.
My conclusions after reading the book? My assumption was one hundred percent accurate. WAY better than the Hallmark movie.
First of all, what comes immediately to your mind when I mention a Hallmark movie involving a prince? Be honest - cheesy, most likely, but this book was far from cheesy! I don’t know how Hauck managed to make such a believable story out of this premise. Even the fictional country of Brighton felt like it could be real, complete with political conflicts and intrigue. Which brings me to the first major difference between the book and the movie. The movie cut out all of the political parts of the plot, which may sound smart on paper (aren’t politics usually boring?), but in this case I felt it was a huge mistake. The political pressure on Nathanial because of the entail between Brighton and Hessenburg increased the tension and made his inner turmoil more believable.
Also, in the movie Ginny is just your standard “woman with a title that everyone thinks the prince should marry” character. In the book, however, she is somewhat of a straight up villain, and I honestly loved hating her. In the movie, she was forgettable. Here, she is conniving and power hungry, and you honestly worry what she might be capable of. That to me was far more captivating.
The Queen, on the other hand, was awful in the movie but more complex in the book. I could say that about all the characters, but the queen most of all. She grew as a character, and I liked her story arc whereas in the movie I wanted to slap her. She seemed too straight laced and shallow in the movie, but not at all in the book.
The setting of the book (outside of fictional Brighton) was St. Simon’s Island, Georgia, a place I have spent many spring break and summer vacations. The movie was honestly laughable in this regard. It was filmed in Canada, not Georgia, and boy did it show! Hauck, however, does a much better job with the setting. They talk about the heat and humidity (versus the Hallmark movie where they are wearing jackets in the summer and you could see their breath - cringe!), the Spanish moss on the trees, and the biking trails that St. Simons is famous for. She even included two famous landmarks: Christ Church and the lover’s oak in nearby Brunswick. She even mentions Brunswick as the location of the tree and how you have to drive out to it from St. Simon’s - a nice touch that lets me know she did her research. Both these locales play an important part in the romance too.
In the movie, Susanna’s family owns a nursery and Nathaniel gets a job there so he can “learn work ethic.” In the book, her family owns a barbecue place called The Rib Shack by the beach (much more fitting to the setting), and Nathaniel volunteers to help out there after Susanna’s father has a heart attack. I love that Nathaniel is naturally a hard worker and humble. I’m over the poor little rich kid trope where you have to watch them struggle to push a wheelbarrow or something. Plus, Susanna would have had zero patience for a man who couldn’t scrub a toilet, much less fall for him. And it was hilarious when they realized they had the future king of Brighton on his hands and knees scrubbing the bathroom.
Which brings me to a plot point that sometimes bothers people - yes, Nathaniel hides that he is a prince at first. However, this didn’t bother me the way it was portrayed. When they first meet, it would seem weird for him to just blurt out, “oh, I’m royalty,” and they hit it off right away. He loves being able to just be an ordinary guy with Susanna, so you sort of don’t blame him for not bringing it up. Does he wait longer to tell her than he should have? Yes, but you kind of get why.
One thing I loved the most about this book was the spiritual aspect. I’ve read plenty of Christian fiction, but rarely do books include truly supernatural things. This one does. There’s a homeless character named Aurora (not in the movie) who gives prophetic words to Susanna (that come true). Both Susanna and Nathaniel pray with their faces to the ground and talk about feeling God’s presence touch them. At one point, Nathaniel says he feels the brush of an angel’s wing against his face and strength fills him.
There’s one final thing I need to say about this book - it was extremely chaste.
. . . . . SPOILER ALERT - skip to the end to avoid . . . .
There is only one kiss in the whole book and it comes after a proposal like in a Jane Austen novel. Call me shallow, but I like kissing, so normally I would be frustrated with a book like this. However, somehow, Hauk makes the attraction so palpable, that you almost think they have kissed. The only other disappointment was that the name of this series is The Royal Wedding Series, but . . . there’s no wedding. I wish the book hadn’t ended with a proposal and we could have seen more of Nate and Susanna happy and in love.
. . . END OF SPOILER . . .
There are two more books in this series. Book one sets up the plot of book two, and book three features Nathaniel’s brother as the male lead. I definitely plan on reading both!
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medea10 · 4 years
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My Review of Little Witch Academia
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Atsuko Kagari (nicknamed Akko) has always had a fascination with witches. Or should I say one particular witch! When she was a child, she saw a magic performance done by a famous witch named Shiny Chariot. After that, Akko decided then and there that she was going to become a witch just like Shiny Chariot. So when she became a teenager, she got the opportunity to enroll at Luna Nova Magical Academy. While this school has primarily been a place for witch’s only to hone on their skills, due to financial issues they opened the school up to non-magic users. And Akko has no magic in her whatsoever!
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We follow the antics of Akko as she tries to survive in a witch academy. During her time she’s managed to snag a wand that was once owned by Shiny Chariot (which she plans to return to), meet friends like Lotte and Sucy, start a rival with the school star Diana Cavendish, get one-on-one training from Professor Ursula (who has her own kind of past), and learn everything there is to know about becoming a great witch. But Akko is going to have a tough time because like I said, she has no magic in her whatsoever! BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: As I mentioned at the beginning, this series is under the thumb of Netflix (in every country). I haven’t had the opportunity to check out the subtitled version. As for the dub…boy, Erica Mendez is getting the choice roles in Netflix exclusive animes. I can’t complain, the lady does fine work. Plus Netflix gives me a chance to hear other new voice actors and seiyuus. Some were big misses with me, but others (like Sucy’s voice) won me over. Here’s what you might recognize these folks from. JAPANESE CAST: *Akko is played by Megumi Han (known for Yamato on Ore Monogatari, Momiji on Fruits Basket 2019, Kagari on Steins;Gate 0, Rio on YGO Zexal, and Chie on Tokyo Ghoul) *Sucy is played by Michiyo Murase *Lotte is played by Fumiko Orikase (known for Dianthe on Pokemon XY, Kyubei on Gintama, Riza on FMA: Brotherhood, Seras Victoria on Hellsing, Shirley on Code Geass, Rukia on Bleach, and Aki on Inazuma Elven) ENGLISH CAST: *Akko is played by Erica Mendez (known for Ryuko on Kill la Kill, Haruka/Uranus on Sailor Moon redub, Emma on The Promised Neverland, Nico on Love Live, Yuuki on SAO II, Retsuko on Aggretsuko, and Tsubaki on Your Lie in April) *Sucy is played by Rachelle Heger *Lotte is played by Stephanie Sheh (known for Mikuru on Haruhi Suzumiya, Kuro on Blue Exorcist, Nui on Kill la Kill, Hinata on Naruto, Orihime on Bleach, Illiya on Fate/stay night, Yui on K-ON, and Usagi/Sailor Moon on Sailor Moon) FAVORITE CHARACTER: I know in stories like these I always root for the underdog and they end up my favorite character…buuuuuuut…
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I like Sucy! Yeah, I like the little mischevious, mushroom-loving witch. And yes, I love the episode where Akko goes inside Sucy's subconscious and we see all the Sucy's inside Sucy.
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DISLIKED CHARACTER: I knew I couldn’t really hate Diana! I think most of the hatred I shared at her direction for the majority of the season was because of those two cronies that hung around her. Those two were catty bitches and I just hate those kinds of characters. But nothing could compare to Diana’s bitch aunt.
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God, fuck this woman! She literally tries to usurp Diana from taking over as head of the Cavendish family line. Just so she can give it to one of her bitch daughters! She’s seriously giving me Lady Tremaine vibes, it’s not even funny. You know it’s bad that I was rooting for them to die when they got into trouble. But Diana wasn’t going to let her bitch aunt and bitch cousins die so I should stop hoping for severe payback. SHIPPING: Hmm…the shipping category is going to be fun! I think it’s only because of that one episode that involves a bee sting and the person is smitten with the next person they see. And boy did Akko get her fill when not only Andrew falls for her, but Diana as well!
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Actually, I have thoughts of Andrew really taking a shine to Akko. I honestly thought there would only be two interactions at the most between him and Akko during the show. But surprisingly, there were more. I’m not really a fan of this ship, but I still find it cute. Hell, even Lotte found a boy that was interested in her at one point. She turns him down, but he still holds out hope. Also a cute moment! Hmm…at the moment I’m an open multishipper for this series. If Akko ends up with Diana, cool man! If she ends up with Andrew, whatever, I can dig it! If Akko ends up with Amanda, more power to you (and I can totally see that because Amanda is giving me total lesbo-vibes). What do you expect, this is like an all-girls school!
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You know what, I’m now leaning towards Akko x Amanda more than all the others. Don’t fight me on this, I just know I like it! ENDING: Up until the halfway point, a lot of the episodes are about Akko trying to make it as a witch. Did she surpass everyone’s doubts? While Akko was able to improve her magic a bit (I give it 5%), it’s not at the level as many of her classmates. I mean by episode 20, Akko still cannot fly a broom! That should tell you something. But what’s the one thing that seems to be missing from this series?
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An antagonist? Yeah, in comes Professor Croix! And to many of the students, she feels like she’s able to bring witchcraft into today’s era with her technology driven methods. And Akko certainly has taken a shine to her. However, Professor Ursula can smell this woman’s bullshit a mile away. Ursula was once the classmate of Croix. But back then Ursula was known as… Oh come on, it was so bloody obvious the moment Ursula met Akko.
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Ursula is really Shiny Chariot! Meanwhile, Akko ends up trying to speak these seven secret words that’ll unlock the wand she obtained in the first episode. You know, the wand that belonged to Shiny Chariot?! And Akko has managed to obtain six out of the seven secret words. She could be the one to get the seventh word, which was something Chariot was unable to do as a student. But this positivity ends with a looming war (over a soccer match) on the rise. In actuality, there’s a force around the town as well as certain moments at the school that have caused chaos. Yes, it’s Professor Croix exploiting people’s anger for her own research. Not only that, but she used Akko for her own selfish ambitions and as a result ended up injuring Shiny Chariot to a point of altering her magic (possibly permanently). That’s one thing. Then we get quite a big bombshell!
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AKKO’S MAGIC: Ever wonder why Akko has like zero magic ability?! When she saw Shiny Chariot’s performance as a child, her dreams and potential magic were taken by Chariot in order to make her performances more magical (due to audience members becoming disinterested in Chariot’s magic). Akko’s magic was taken away from her before she could even realize a thing. Damn! And you can just imagine Akko’s heartache finding out that her professor was really Chariot and that Chariot did that to not just Akko, but other children! After Chariot found out what her magic shows were doing, she immediately fell off the map.
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BACK TO THE CONCLUSION: One of Croix’s inventions went rogue and is officially threatening the world. And it’s up to Akko, Sucy, Lotte, Diana, Amanda, Constance, and Jasminka to catch up to this rogue missile invention. Now that Akko was able to obtain the seventh word, there’s a good chance they can take out Croix’s out of control missile. Croix thankfully realized the errors of her way and understood the pain she’s caused to her students and her former classmate. Croix and Chariot decide to give their all to help the girls as well. While five of the seven girls were able to give a big boost, it was Akko and Diana who took out the looming threat. That’s right, witches saved the world! Yeah, during the series a lot of people were kinda mean to or looked down upon Luna Nova and the witch race in general. Especially, those dickheads at Andrew’s prep school! With this act, I’m sure Luna Nova and the witches will finally get the respect they deserve. In the aftermath, yes Luna Nova is now receiving more respect from those that have been quite cruel to them throughout the series run. Croix is going away to do some research. One of her biggest plans was to restore Ursula/Chariot’s magic that was lost due to her own recklessness with Akko. The students go back to their lessons and…
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Akko (after 25 episodes) was able to float a few inches off the ground using her broom. She flew…sort of. I’ll let it count as a victory! THE TWO SPECIALS: A few years prior to the television series run, Little Witch Academia had two movies air. Now this is a different telling of the story. In the first special (which is 25 minutes), it has Akko come upon Chariot’s rod during a class assignment (instead of coming upon it in a forest like the first episode).
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And here’s a real kicker, while Akko is still the class screw-up and has the least amount of magic, here she actually has SOME magic. In the second special (which is 55 minutes), Akko ends up in trouble (like normal) and ends up having to do a punishment assignment. She has to help orchestrate a ritual which ends up turning into a parade. So Akko, Sucy, Lotte, Amanda, Constance, and Jasminka all end up working together to do this. But Akko wants to turn this into something for people to remember and always cherish. Like her experiences with the Shiny Chariot performances she saw as a child! But there’s always blow-back because at Luna Nova, Shiny Chariot is seen as a disgrace to traditional witches. And of course there was bound to be some disagreements when working with a big group. And despite a few hiccups, everyone was able to come together to put on a convincing parade for the crowd. Little Witch Academia was quite the enjoyable little story. Yes, it’s a root for the underdog kind of story and even though the television series seems to give Akko the short-end of the stick on the magic matter, it’s full-filling to see her accomplish quite a bit. Even if it took her until the final seconds to learn how to fly! I know it’s been about 2-3 years since the ending of the TV series and am wondering if this is it for the franchise. I know there are novels and games out for this, so maybe one day.
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But I do give a recommendation for those into witches, magic, and all that good stuff! It's full of fun characters, there's no harm in that. Currently, Netflix is the only outlet for this series (in just about every country). But Netflix does carry both the sub and dub (and several other languages). Now then, what’s my next Amazon/Netflix exclusive anime? Nope. You’re watching this.
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Rising of the Shield Hero? But isn’t that Crunchyroll or FUNimation? Don’t care. You’re watching this now. But I have a big list of other animes to wat… Tough shit. You’re watching this. You have no choice but to watch a modern Isekai!
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meltedhorror · 5 years
Text
Midsommar; as reviewed by me, a Swede
Okay so! Finally got around to writing this. This might be a long post, but oh well. Obvious spoiler warning.
For those who don’t know, I’m a Swede, born and raised in Sweden, having celebrated Midsummer every year that I’ve been on this earth. So needless to say - I would dare to say I know a bit about Midsummer. BUT I will admit that I may not be the very most knowledgable about how it was celebrated in the past and the exact origins about it. But I’ll try my best.
SO IMPORTANT TO KNOW BEFORE WE START TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY HANDLED MY CULTURE IN THE MOVIE.
Midsummer (in Swedish Midsommar) is the celebration of the fertilization of the earth, or the world being reborn anew. The celebration is to ask the gods/spirits to bless us with a good year of harvest and to keep our animals healthy. And thats the rough explanation of it.
So lets get into the movie stuff and see what they got accurate, no?
When our main cast arrive in Sweden and get to... I forgot the name of the place they went to-- I have relatives who come from there. Anyway, they are greeted with people doing drugs, drinking mushroom tea (also drugs) and being greeted by the multiple day celebration and preparation for Midsummer.
I don’t know how it is in other countries, but yes some people do make tea on special mushrooms here, and you do get high on it. You get these mushrooms from cow or horse shit, cause they grow in that, and then you make tea of it. It causes mostly hallucinations. I have friends who do it and I’ve been offered it a few times as well.
I don’t really know how every single person in this country spends their days before Midsummer, some may very well be hanging out doing drugs. But thats not really something majority of people do (surprise surprise).
When it comes to celebrating for a longer time.
It depends on where you are in the country. Some people make a huge thing out of it, celebrating sometimes the entire month, while others (like me) only spend like two days preparing and one day celebrating. It really depends on the people, how many are attending each separate celebration, and if its a local community centre (hembygdsgård in Swedish) thats holding the celebration.
What you do during this preparing time is things like building the majstång (dunno the translation tbh), make the food, depending on where you are make the special clothes for each participant, and a lot of girls pick flowers (we’ll get into that later).
So.. The clothes?
Yes! So we see people wearing these special clothes in the movie, and in this case they’re completely white and have runes on them. Again this depends on where you are and how you celebrate Midsummer if you actually wear these clothes.
Many hembygdsgårdar have them, and a lot of people do wear these clothes. But they come in many variants!
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As you can probably tell, we don’t wear just plain white, but dress pretty colourful for the occasion!
You’d also probably wear a flower crown if you celebrated. Me and my mom always used to make flowercrowns for Midsummer when I was a kid, although they always came out very bad lmfao
So the midsommarstång or majstång?
Ah yes, can’t forget the main piece of the event! And I’m so glad they got it accurate in the movie! Or... Accurate with minor changes lmfao
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(I couldn’t find a better picture I’m sorry)
So in the other two images that are not from the movie, we also have this centre piece I guess I could call it. This is the most important thing in our celebration, and it comes in two variant. The classic symbolism one (I will explain don’t worry) and one thats just a leafy pole with ribbons coming from the top.
The version we see in the movie however is the most common and has huge symbolism. What they did change about it though is that they put runes in the rings, which to my knowledge no one has ever done in this day and age, nor in the past.
BUT ANYWAY THE SYMBOLISM, DAMN I GET OFF TRACK FAST.
Remember how I said Midsummer is the celebration of the rebirth of the earth? The majstång symbolises a penis and a vagina, going into the ground to fertilize the earth and give life anew. Yes. We dance around a massive dick and coochie, what do you do during your summer?
The majstång is made of wood and leafy branches and a lot of the time is held together with steel wire or other sticks that are more bendable. And in my opinion? They nailed it in the movie.
I mentioned the girls picking flowers.
Okay so the day before Midsummer (I’m pretty sure at least) the girls would go out to pick flowers. But you have to do it in a certain way (which I don’t remember honestly) and you have to pick seven types of flowers. You have to walk backwards, and climb and walk a roof, and jump a gärdsgård (type of fence), and... Thats about what I remember.
What you do with these flowers after that is you put them beneath your pillow, and go to sleep before midnight, and then you’ll dream of your future lover.
Did I do this even though I’m a guy? Yes. Did it ever work? Hm... Not sure.
So what do the guys do? I honestly don’t really remember. I’m pretty sure you just go about your day as normal and help with chores and stuff. I might be wrong though.
They do this weird thing with their hands...
So throughout the movie you see the Swedes doing jazz hands I guess you could describe it the best. I’ve given it some thought, and I’m pretty sure what they’re doing is doing a forest clap, or a silent clap. I don’t know how it is in other countries but-
So basically when you’re out in nature you don’t want to disturb it, or you just don’t want to make a lot of noise, you can clap your hands like that. It means the same thing.
How do I know? Cause we got to learn two types of forest claps in school when I was a kid when we were out looking at rocks that got fucked when the great ice moved across the land.
So it might look weird, and I do admit it IS weird, but they are essentially just clapping their hands at things.
Okay, so how about the runes and learning runes?
In the movie they talk about how all the kids learn runes and how they write in runes. This is not something we do, obviously. But we do learn runes in school! Believe it or not, there was a time when I could write fluent runes and translate Swedish into runes.
They also talk about the runes having a great power. And this is actually interesting!
Back in the days of the Vikings, when we wrote in runes for real, they believed that the runes had powers and that if you etched the runes in with a weapon, either the rune got power of the weapon did (don’t remember which one). Thats why the runes do not have curved lines, because it was both difficult to make curves with something you slash at a rock or piece of wood, and you wouldn’t get as much power out of the rune/weapon.
Some runes have specific meanings, but majority of runes you’ll learn or see are just plain out letter you use to create words.
Runes are not inherently connected with Midsummer in the sense they want it to in the movie.
They made two old people jump off a cliff and die.
Okay so me being ever so slightly uncultured didn’t really know what this was either until I watched the movie, however my mom did.
Ättestupa was a way of punishing people, more specifically criminals. Once sentenced to have committed a crime, you could be thrown off this cliff and people would gather around to watch this. Think beheading in France, but instead you throw someone off a cliff.
That’s what my mom knows about it, and we actually live pretty close to one of these spots. However I’m a bit unsure if that was the only thing, as Google wants to tell me otherwise. They may very well have made old people jump, or them deciding themselves to jump.
But I can guarantee this has absolutely nothing to do with Midsummer.
So... THAT scene...
You know what I’m talking about. That one scene that got the entire audience to laugh uncontrollably in my case.
First thing I have to mention about this is that they state she’s Byxmynding, which they did explain as of legal age to have sex in the movie. And thats exactly what it is. Its the age of consent, or rather when you turn the age of consent. You become Byxmynding.
This age is 15 here in Sweden, and it is not legal for someone above the age of 18 to have sex with someone who is 15.
I just wanted to throw that out there.
Now obviously here’s where we step away from what is true and what is fiction and just horror. But I will also say that I’m pretty sure somewhere I’ve read that in the past that during Midsummer there would be orgies to celebrate the rebirth of the earth.
Don’t take my word for it, I may be wrong. But I’m pretty sure that was a thing.
Nowadays a lot of new age people in this country do that however.
The dude hanging from the ceiling with his lungs out his back.
This was a way of torture during the Viking age. You could either do this from the chest or from the back, but the intention was to make it look like you had wings as you were slowly dying.
The dancing around the majstång and the food.
This is something we do, we do dance around the majstång to music. As for the whole dance until you can’t stand anymore because myth of girls dancing to their death thing, I can’t confirm it and I can’t deny it. Its probably something pretty accurate, and I want to remember actually hearing that as a kid when we celebrated in school.
When we dance, depending on where, the people, etc etc, you may have a live band playing things like the fiddle, accordion, guitar, flute, things like that. Or you may just put on a recording of Små Grodorna and jump around to that.
We dance around for a while to the music, maybe play games during it, and then we finish to go eat with our family/friends/other people (Depending how you celebrate)
What we eat is things like herring, surströmming, boiled potatoes, eggs, knäckebröd... Maybe other things too. Personally I’m no big fan of the fish thats served and I usually just eat smoked salmon that I brought myself so I won’t starve.
So... What are my final thoughts about this movie?
I actually really enjoyed it! I could tell they put in good amount of research to make this, and thats always appreciated. Of course Midsummer as a normal thing here is not scary or horrific like in the movie. What I would describe what we see in the movie is cultish, and almost mixed with new age in a way.
They did a great job of depicting it as something strange and twisted, even to an audience who has been raised with this celebration.
I also really appreciate that they hired Swedish actors and actually spoke real Swedish!! It did so much for the movie to me, unlike other films set in Sweden (cough cough The Ritual fuck you thats not Swedish). I don’t know if English speaking who don’t know Swedish get English subtitles on the parts they speak Swedish, but it still does so much. And the dialogue didn’t feel forced or strangely translated, it felt... Natural. Even in a creepy way. But I will admit that a lot of the line delivery was very stiff and robotic.
I enjoyed it. As strange as it is, I enjoyed it.
Oh also the singing you hear throughout I’m pretty sure is a weird mix of Joik, which isn’t inherently Swedish, but eh who cares at this point
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fortheheavenssake · 5 years
Text
PG MM Anon Interpretation Collection- 10
65: Sept. 20
💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜
💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON HAVE AN AWESOME WEEKEND 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜
MM Anon
MM ANON … it’s a bird’ it’s a private plane ‘ it’s an Archificial!!!!!…… Canada why?…… three weddings and a numeral …… an unnecessary company …… not buying the lying ……” Rome , Bloody Rome!!”…………” one makes ones bed Philip”…… tabloids ‘ mud sticks, it’s official!!…… hated ‘ not rated …… This spotty leopard is def!! …… “ To boldly go……… “
it’s a bird’ it’s a private plane ‘ it’s an Archificial!!!!!
It’s Superman!!! Was the original third part. The ever elusive doll baby with magic powers to change size, hair colour, eyes, eyelashes etc etc all while wearing a Christening gown🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 Again MM ANON are you confirming this? Private planes have been used because as we all know, there is no baby in her care, it’s always been a doll, and/or actors getting on/off private planes and or going to their local. For some reason EJ and ED are lying! Allegedly.
Canada why?
Canada Dry🤣🤣🤣😂😂MM ANON are you teasing me because l didn’t know that rare song🤣🤣😂😂? Seriously, l wonder if this is about Cameron Ortis and enquiring why Canada’s issue occurred and who was given what information.
three weddings and a numeral
Movie Three Weddings and a Funeral. Interestingly the write Richard Curtis is working with Catherine DOC , a new mental health initiative. It was in the paper the other day, if l recall there was a suicide he experienced, sibling? I cannot recall exactly. So Three weddings and a numeral. Let’s review what a numeral is, its a figure, symbol, or group of these denoting a number. MM ANON are you affirming something for us? Oh pretty please!!
Madam alleged annulled 1st marriage, divorced second and PH was the golden door number three, let’s make a deal, who remembers that game show? Does numeral represent a part of the law which denotes annulment and was it done legally? We know the divorce was legal because TE has remarried or is engaged. Oh my stars, are we getting affirmation?l have said awhile now why did PH hold the book when he was ‘signing’ the register after the wedding ceremony, he held the book so the camera couldn’t see it. Oh this clue has me buzzing! I know it’s can’t be III. Roman numeral three for three weddings they have attended as a married couple, the horrible blue and white dress, Princess Eugenie and Jack B and now MN?
an unnecessary company
Is this the Sussex Foundation? They could have worked as a team with the Cambridges but her jealousy and craving of $$$$$££££££££€€€€€ far supersedes any philanthropic or truly real humanitarianism.
not buying the lying
No one is believing anything she says or does except sugars and celebrities who share management or SS PR.
” Rome , Bloody Rome!!”
Again PP, disgust continues to rile his anger. Raging at yet another trip, how many flights is this now in six weeks or so? If they are all true it must be close to ten. He is a strong man, served his country for decade upon decade, to see this madam, l cannot imagine his blood pressure!
” one makes ones bed Philip”
HMTQ and PP , or maybe LG, the phrase you made your bed, now lie on it. This means your life choices have consequences and you have to deal with them The speaking if first person here, in a manner, leads me to believe this is HMTQ talking to her husband and the incredible burden of a booty call turning into this horrendous mess and PH playing his role, in his due to HMTQ, his grandmother is him having to deal with his poor choice. We still love and pray for him, as do his family. It must be desperately hard to watch him , but it will all be worth it, once justice is served, and make no mistake, it may not be tomorrow or next week, it will come! My word for madam, she will not understand this but Ask not for whom the bell tolls, for it tolls for the.
tabloids ‘ mud sticks, it’s official!!
Monster Meghan nanny tells all, TMZ shows fake photos of pub visit days and days after it allegedly happened, the pub owners denied they were there, the meta data on the photo said it was taken September 17,2019. More and more in the tabloids both paper and online tabloids, the truth is coming out and people are believing it more and more thus the term the mud sticks. MM ANON, the other riddle you used ‘ stick and stones’may break my bones, but names will never hurt me. I added the rest, after the part she mentioned. So in this case, the ‘names’ which in fact is truth are most definitely hurting her already bad reputation. Way to go SS!! You’re really earning your $$$$£££££€€€€! NOT !😂😂😂😂🤣
hated ‘ not rated
If one goes by social media et al, she doesn’t rate as a royal, but oh my the level of absolute disgust, anger, has built into hatred. Rightfully so, she blew in, rather flew in on her 🧹, paid backers. Manipulated a marriage, a ‘fauxmegnancy’, wastage of money on an epic scale, disrespecting the British and Commonwealth every step of the way. Trying to Americanize the Royal family and the biggest of all is the complete vile disrespect to HMTQ. To me, all the misdeeds, ? maybe illegal, those are all left for LG to manage. The thing of HMTQ at this stage of her Reign and her life, to be so utterly disrespected, repeatedly is utter gall. Yet another major reason she is hated so much by so many!
This spotty leopard is def!!
Def Leopard…awesome band and takes me back to hockey games music and after parties. She is def, not physically def,but tone def in an abstract meaning. She doesn’t accept any opinion except her own. Any questions she immediately cries troll, racist, hater, a plethora of descriptors. I still cannot believe all the time twitter was going last night either in Italy or as leaving to go there. Who cares if l or others misread the riddle. I am not embarrassed to acknowledge l misread something! Hey this is for fun, if it angers or irritates someone, perhaps reset this or take a break. In saying that, l work very hard in processing what the options are that a clue may mean and then writing it, in a manner that is as clear and concise as l can do.
“ To boldly go……… “.
To boldly go where no man, since changed to no one , has gone before, from the opening of Star Trek episodes. So madam has boldly gone to Rome sans archficial, and the Africa trip is pending shortly. Wonder why the journalists flight to Capetown has been cancelled?? She sees herself as the worlds answer to anything and l am sure she will display her narcissistic brilliantly while there. Oh this is going to be fun to watch!
As an aside, the HMS PRINCE OF WALES was taken out of drydock in Forsyth, Scotland. Some interiors are still being constructed. This is a massive beast of a sea faring ship. Check it out!
GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦
Wow! How do you do this dear PG! You take so little and turn out a masterpiece! So impressive, thank you so much! As always, greatly appreciated! Thank you!😃💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Ask Skippy submission
Sep 20th, 2019
————————
66: sept. 21
💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜
MM Anon
skippyv20
MM ANON …The wedding r/deception … the bigger picture …… easy does it! but do it…… weasel words …… not an option …… a collection of miss-fits…… heads or tails?……… home alone 7…… A sensible emptiness …… “don’t forget to wind the clock”……… no public appearances …… a good WHO-done
The wedding r/deception
So, this variety of people gather for big wedding number two in less than five years for the same bride,,different groom. It looked like a political conference with the level of security and who was there. Why did they attend, as far as l know the paper said they weren’t part of the evening prepared, l didn’t see them there in the photos from that evening. They were at the wedding, why? If you’re all close friends why not go to the fun bit and socialize, have a few drinks and a dance. I’ll tell you why BECAUSE THEYRE NOT A COUPLE THATS TOGETHER, it’s a charade. There must have been some reason they went, especially l enjoyed the cheeky photo of Harry where he SOUGHT out the camera and grinned. That told this girl all l need to know. Something was up, and we may never know what the agenda was but something was up!
the bigger picture
When one says look at the bigger picture here, it means take a step back from your situation, look at pros, cons, what you have invested into the issue and make the best decision that way. Here l think it’s literal, look at the whole picture, who was at that we’d and why. I have no answers but l think that’s one option.
I also think this is PH, going to the wedding was one small part of his time with mm, MM ANON is telling us don’t yippity yap about who was wrong or right about them going to the wedding or not. I admit it freely, l completely misread the clue about the wedding. Am l still lived?🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂💜💜💜💜💜 l hope so😊. Seriously now, look at the big picture who set him up, what’s happened since then and so forth. I feel we need to continue to brain storm and put forth opinions here, this is fascinating and sometimes what we have talked about is in the paper the next day and l think wow! So let’s keep our eye on the prize and on the bigger picture!
easy does it! but do it
Slow progress in extraction from this sordid tale. Many many things have changed and been revealed l he is back to being called PH in the media no more DUKE🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂. There is so much negative PR it’s incredible and SS has only made things worse. So easy do it with the extraction but DO IT ! HMTQ and LG have this. The thing l fear presently is that speech she is going to give shortly after landing.
weasel words
Weasel words are words or statements that are intentionally ambiguous or misleading AKA word salad. That’s how she speaks, gobble de gook , just all kind awesome kind, yet kind but also awesomely kind, but kind of awesome, yet kindly kind. You get it, you know it. As l said , my massive fear is that first speech with the domestic murder rate off the charts, she goes in there yammering like that, there is serious damage that she could do. This is no joke, l worry about this. She on the other hand thinks she’s so awesomely kind that her speeches save the world and just her presence there will make things all better especially if she uses a darker bronzer!
not an option
Giving up is not an option. There were years invested into planning this and years have been invested into investigations. This must be allowed to play on as long as it needs to. They cannot afford to not pull out and follow every piece of yarn they unravel, this is too internationally important to just give up now. The general public is angry both at home and the a Commonwealth, its an incredible game being played but we have God , HMTQ and LG and PW and PH on ours! Let’s remember to keep them in prayer 🙏🏻💜🙏🏻.
a collection of miss-fits
Well l could say the stolen name SmartSets was a collection of things that fit a very select few and a bag, that cost more than the clothes that the fit on was terrible. The trousers she woke had a big bit of extra fabric right in the front lower area yikes! I do think, the almost inbred crew that was at that Italian wedding was a bunch of misfits. I am not judging but my reading tells me, her first marriage took place in Venice and was a massive affair, that marriage didn’t last three yearsish. Here we have a massive affair in Rome, l don’t get this flaunting of wealth. I just do not get it. The guest list, why are the Kushners, be it Jared or Josh always at any event? The connections in that guest list that was posted in the paper again reminded me of a genealogical family tree. This all so bizarre. Has she grafted her way into money as well? They keep saying she’s a fashion designer, l keep myself pretty in the know of stuff like that because it interesting to me. Before mm, l had NEVER heard of mn and her stupid white shirt. That’s her big contribution to fashion a white shirt? Okay then…..moving swiftly along…….
heads or tails?
Flip a coin, choose a side, you win or lose the bet.
home alone 7
Home Alone aaaaahhhhh Kevin!!! Love it, the sequels not the same. Is this now, the trio to Italy, the 7th time archficial has left left alone by his ‘parents’. Well yes l sure Nannyficial has things all in hand, in fact maybe they will Nannyficial to take care of Archficial in SA??
A sensible emptiness
Emptiness can mean a human condition is a sense of generalized boredom, social alienation and apathy, which means a
lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern.
Sensible can be a statement or course of action chosen bearing in mind wisdom and prudence, and is likely to be of benefit. It can also be something that is practical and functional rather than decorative. Well we know mm is not the latter definition of sensible. So sensible emptiness, PH has made a life changing, mane lives actually, decision that night at soho, and here we are today. I truly believe this description of sensible emptiness could apply to him, HMTQ, those who live both, their families and all of us who are loyal to the Crown and love our royals. We know justice has to be brought to bare or is it bear, you know what l mean. So these feelings we talk about with our 💜🐼💜 and we share here are normal. We need to pray for justice seekers and truth seekers in all forms, they are doing Gods work.
“don’t forget to wind the clock”
Old clocks need winding to keep them running. To wind somebody up means to get them excited in a good or bad way. I think this means quite literal don’t forget to take care of yourself, PH, sleep, exercise, eat well, check your emotions with those you love, do what you need to do to stay fit (and oh is he fit,😁) so as the clock needs to be wound to function well, these things are essential to him being able to function well.
no public appearances
Amw will stay MIA, this is stupid ridiculous, but the lie has to continue. There has to be a reason and we must pray for PH , HMTQ and LG. Especially PH, he will have to maintain his composure. How they are going to keep this lie going l don’t know but l read they are taking 12 staff, that is NOT counting RPOS!!
a good WHO-done it.
This clue has a double meaning. It can mean a really good storyline in a book or film or tv really, that doesn’t tell us straight away who the criminal is but lays clues to figure it out….kinda like your riddles MM ANON. WHO is the World Health Organization. I don’t know if anybody noted the article l put on my blog last night or read it in the paper/saw or heard it on the news, this is a run on sentence for the ages, my goodness! There has been a spate of relationship homicide in SA, with 30 women being murdered in the last month alone. There has been a dramatic rise in statistics of violence. The WHO commenting means this is a severe issue needing addressing! With great dread do l await madams first speech shortly after they land, where she will speak on the topic of violence against women. This is a very dangerous decision with a lot of potential blowback!
GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦
Wow! Amazing….so appreciate this dear PG! Things are getting interesting now! Thank you so much!😃💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
———————
67: Sept. 22
💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜
I have had a massive increase in my sciatic pain, that’s been building since flu last week, today was brutal. But better now so l thought l would give the riddle a go. Please continue praying for me, l really am in need of it. Lots of love and gratitude 💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻PG🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜
MM Anon
MM ANON … Azurelee Drive…… “ we are interested” … … between 6 and 10……🎼 California scheming 🎼……((wedding gems…… “ SA ‘just a fuc#@g nuisance”…… “£uck the press, we can do anything I want”…… “ I don’t lie, I embellish”))……” is on our watch list “……… “HEADS ‘ I win”…… a draconian solution … “when The devil drives”. 🎼 “over and over and over again my friend”🎼………(🤫🤫🤭💎💎💎💎👩🏽‍💻👷🏿‍♂️👷🏿‍♂️👷🏿‍♂️👷🏿‍♂️ when in Rome!!!!)
Azurelee Drive
Azure is the bluest of blues it is a gorgeous colour. As l suspected, Azurelee Drive is in Malibu, another clue to reenforce her long term plan is Malibu. Are there any prisons with an ocean view in Malibu? Maybe someone could let me know if there are, l am serious!
“ we are interested”
Again with the first person royal”we”. HMTQ is very interested in what’s going on. I think we are nearing some sort of climax with this trip. I have said this before, l trustmyngut, l have a very strong feeling something is going to happen. Perhaps the reason they flew to the wedding for such a short time, hardly worth it, was for her to use someone else’s computer to engage in a blood diamond deal? Again does she not get she is being monitored? Obviously not!
between 6 and 10
7, 8, 9, are between 6 and 10 literally. But l think this is the amount of time they spent at the wedding. They weren’t part of the party the night before, the next day wedding breakfast or the second night party the night after the wedding. Wow besties eh? Isn’t it awesome to have such great best friends?🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
🎼 California scheming 🎼
This is a play on the song California dreaming, MM ANON has used this before, so it’s reenforcing for her plan to live there after all this is over. Yes perhaps in a dark cement building! Her plan, get all the $$$$€€€££££££ she can, set up her blog again and divorce rebuilding her life in Malibu was the last place l read was the mansion search. She is scheming her way into the marriage, during the ,arriage, out of the marriage and after the marriage
((wedding gems…… “ SA ‘just a fuc#@g nuisance”…… “£uck the press, we can do anything I want”…… “ I don’t lie, I embellish”))
Gems has an obvious meaning, which is also involved in this riddle.Gems can also be snippets like best song on an album etc. These are the gems of conversration/comments she made the night of the wedding. She really is stupid, has no filter and no judgement whatsoever!
” is on our watch list “
Of course, with the international security issues at , her past involvement with many, many individuals of dubious character during her yachting decades, and the current work LG has been doing l am certain she is on a watch list. Here l assume everyone knows what a watch list is, a person, or persons, group, or items requiring close surveillance, most usually for legal or political reasons.
“HEADS ‘ I win”
We had heads or tails yesterday. HEADS all caps, what’s the meaning? Who has HEADS and is the winner? I found one definition but nothing in all caps, heads a shouted warning that something is falling from above one’s head.
a draconian solution
We had a case, few years ago where l live, they wanted to build a casino in part of a local pub. Our city had a by-law preventing gambling and alcohol on sale in the same establishment. I can still see AND hear the owner when he was interviewed on the news about how Draconian our laws were. The definition of draconian is of laws or their application) excessively harsh and severe. I might add old law not updated. Many many places have old laws in the books that are never used anymore but still would be enforceable because they still exist as binding law. So LG and his team may have found just such a law or set of laws that they believe fit this situation and can be utilized to the benefit of the Crown. Oh please, please pretty please, let this be so!!
“when The devil drives”.
There is a novel by Scottish write Chris Brookmyre, with this same title. A dual plot, one a Shakespearean play being performed outdoors and a sniper kills someone, second plot a terminally ill woman wants to find her missing sister. The first is obvious, we don’t want that but security will be very tight on the tour l am certain. The second plot, are we being told there is a sister that is missing and still being searched out? Or is this nothing to do with the novel and the obvious meaning, once you’re riding with the devil nothing good and only reviled happens. I am inclined to think maybe a bit of both.
🎼 “over and over and over again my friend”🎼
This song has been performed and covered by many. The endless ways one tried to do things to be loved and keep someone happy. This is PH over and over and over,he is publicly acting this out, the loving supportive husband and “anything Meghan wants Meghan gets”. He has done such a great job and this has resulted in him taking lots and lots of media heat!
(🤫🤫🤭💎💎💎💎👩🏽‍💻👷🏿‍♂️👷🏿‍♂️👷🏿‍♂️👷🏿‍♂️ when in Rome!!!!)
Blood diamonds! We have had this in a previous riddle. Shhh, diamond, laptop, four workers with hard hats of colour. Did she order, or pick up her diamonds??. Or sell some??? I suspected from an earlier riddle blood diamonds were on the table for her, here l have confirmation . I am thinking with the use of laptop she communicated the deal and will pick up in Africa. Oh kids, this is getting good. HANDCUFFS CLANG CLANG,
GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦
Fantastic PG! Things are heating up it seems! Thank you, we so appreciate all the work you put into this….especially on your days! ThNk you🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️
Ask Skippy submission
12 notes
Sep 22nd, 2019
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68: sept.28
💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜
IT IS SOOOOOO GOOD TO BE BACK!!
MM Anon
MM ANON …… a slippery halo… … AFRICANT …… 🎼” you must have been a beautiful …” 🎼……… faux mother… no British archificial …… a crowd of booooos await……” so’ she Hates the bloody Brits”…… PB will destroy her thunder …… “ Malibu-hoo welcome “…… a $6 million drive in …… an uninterested Africa … PR pays for local hysteria … a white black imposter … well paid unimpressed mothers feel used …… “beef it up for Pakistan”
a slippery halo
The Halo Trust, the anti landlmine charity that a Princess Diana was such a part of and still thrives today because of her work . I remember 1997 , the land mine on the news, her walking, seems like yesterday. This is a double entebdré by our dear MM ANON. Harry has been slaughtered by the media for being a spoilt petulant entitled man. The halo or crown of the Prince 🤴 is slippery now in public opinion. LET’S PRAY FOR OUR HARRY🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
AFRICANT
Can or can’t, the version of cannot. Nothing has been good, happy, meaningful about her presence on this holiday, it’s not a royal tour. Just wonder what other stunts she is going to pull, because we are going to get another video of amw with oh happy day in the background music. By the way, is she paying royalty rights for using that music , the performers? Catherine cannot and does not put a foot wrong. This one cannot even put a hair right!
… 🎼” you must have been a beautiful
You must have been a beautiful baby, you must have a beautiful child! Singing as l type, great old song. Drive all the girls wild, l think is one line. He sure is a cutie, that’s for sure!
faux mother
As below, she doesn’t possess an ounce of mothering instinct. She can’t because that takes away from attention on her. This is exactly why amw was not at the play date.
no British archificial
So is he born in SA? Not royal, less than that not even British. Good God this woman is moronically stupid! Makes sense that he was in SA, that’s why the dolls have been in use, Christening photo, photoshopped, first photo that was barred by the palace from being used after June, can’t recall exact date. She picked this child up while in SA so she could throw him up in the air, climb up steps in five inch heels to copy Catherine , show off a real baby, who didn’t respond to her at all except when she dug her hands into him and he involuntarily winced. THIS US MADNESS PEOPLE!! This poor child, now his face is forever plastered. In one photo, l thought l noticed a strong resemblance to papa TM!
a crowd of booooos await
Oh Kuwait, l am rubbing my hands together, wait until the return to the UK! NOW the gloves are off, she will be booed and booed, good luck to her on any engagement or public appearance. Boo boo boo are coming. People are beyond furious in the UK and Commonwealth!
” so’ she Hates the bloody Brits”
This is PP, piping in his comments l oh Sir, l feel so bad for you having this to deal with. HMTQ needs your love and sumore than ever! Steady on Sir, steady on!
PB will destroy her thunder
I am so happy for Princess Beatrice and Edo, their engagement photos both the colour ones that Eugenie took, and the black and white ones, l cannot recall the photographers name just now. I was soooooo happy to see the news and what a payback for her stealing the thunder meaning spoiling someone’s excitement, on Eugenie and Jack’s wedding day by wearing that huge coat to stir attention to possibility of her being pregnant. Who knew how that fauxmegnancy would turn into such a mess. As does everything with her!
“ Malibu-hoo welcome “
Will she be welcomed with hoos or boos in Malibu when she just leaves once she has her nest padded, or so she thinks. I don’t see her living the high life in a mansion. She might check into hotel California but she may never leave. Justice is coming! The IRS will want it share of the 250K as well as all she has purloined. The US , l believe is the only country in the world where no matter where you live you still pay taxes on EVERYTHING!!!
a $6 million drive in
Ha ha, reminds me of summertime, movies st the drive-in, l think the place she will eventually live will be mouth many tens of millions, have the best security and the best staff. It will also require wearing of an orange jumpsuit or its equivalent!!
an uninterested Africa …
As l have written below, NOBODY CARES ABOUT HER, People are struggling to get by. SA has had water problems for years! Droughts, poverty, the sky high murder rate and domestic abuse, she isn’t even in the radar of importance.
PR pays for local hysteria
The ‘crowds’ on the tree stump she stood🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂 the great Plato sharing infinite words of wisdom and insight. The video with DT was privately arranged, paid for. People have been bussed in as paid extras so it appears she has people who adore her. I saw an interview with three regular women walk-in down the street, he asked if they knew of a big event, they looked at each other , nothing. He said royal, then they came out with Harry but not a one of them knew her name. Ooooooo the sting!The burn! I hope she saw that!
a white black imposter
Blackface used to be a thing decades ago, Al Jolson, in the first talking picture/movie made it famous, well it already was actually. White people putting black on their faces and pretending to be black to perform or at parties etc. Here we have the screamer of racist, troll, racist troll, her two twitters that l follow are.CcccRrrrraaaazzzzyyyy. She talks to herself, to Sam, sometimes tweeting from both alternately. She of the racist card, has spent her life identifying as Caucasian, her immense use of bronzer gets worse day by day, except it seems to me on this ‘tour’ her makeup is less, her clothes are dishevelled, she looks a mess. She is trying to pass as black so it’s fits her narrative right Sister?!? Passing, years ago meant someone of colour who appeared Caucasian could appear or pass as being white and avoid the racism. She disgusts me 🐍.
well paid unimpressed mothers feel used
These women who allegedly paid 50K to have a half hour ‘lunch’ with her, made to sit on the floor, which culturally is soooooooo inappropriate given that is done when grieving or in mourning. God please bring the Justice and remove her from this family right into a nice colour of orange, she seems to like jumpers or whatever they are called in the UK, that one piece thing she wore, so orange to match her bronzer which she has amazingly used so much less of, in the photos l have seen.
“beef it up for Pakistan”
To beef something up, is to make it stronger, better more secure. The Cambridges are heading off for a Royal tour, let me say that again, A ROYAL TOUR😁 to Pakistan. Security issues have been in discussions and this trips itinerary will be not be as publicized due to those issues. Now it is sounding like, by this clue, that they have had to increase the already planned security measures. There is always the possibility the risk is too great and things would have to be cancelled. That would be a disaster in relationship building but safety first! Remember Harry is #1 on the Taliban hit list and that risk is by extension a factor.
GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦
Fantastic! Thank you PG! You are right on your game! So appreciate this!🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Ask Skippy submission
Sep 28th, 2019
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69: Sept. 28
Is this a new thing MM ANON. Two riddles in one Day?🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂
💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON, ITS SO AWESOME TBE BACK DOING THESE🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜
MM Anon
skippyv20
MM ANON …… second son walks alone … bonfires of PR. …… a great rip off … another archificial field trip… a home run …… a lot of backlash back home …… sugar coated photos……… “is it time to go it alone “…… “THE TAPE HAS BEEN SOLD” …… “ for posterity old thing”…… burying it with the rest. ……… 🎼 “ riders on the storm” 🎼
second son walks alone
Our Harry, walks alone, many in the public have been so critical of him, they can’t see the truth or haven’t taken the time to inform themselves. He is our Harry, l don’t care what anyone says, he is a man literally physically fading away, he’s so thin, dishevelled, being with her, l cannot imagine. To me, he deserves a medal for serving to HMTQ ! He has been and will remain in my prayers. Literally speaking he was walking alone in that minefield, or former minefield. What a metaphor for his life eh? 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
bonfires of PR.
I remember being in Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 for Bonfire 🔥 night as we called it or Guy Fawkes day . Old history about Scottish rebellion and a bomb being placed in parliament etc etc look it up, its interesting. Anyhow it’s still great fun in Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 every November. So MM ANON is using bonfires to describe the PR , basically it’s all explosive!
a great rip off
The fee she is charging especially that lunch just using people for maximum cash value. I am positive she has other side deals going on. I recall that last riddle l dud days ago with the clue being diamonds, workers in safety coloured vests, men of colour, a woman at a laptop. You remember it, lead me to think she is sourcing blood diamonds for resale. Everything with her is a rip of, all a grift, capsule collection, using people even a baby for her personal gain!
another archificial field trip
Oh as l said in the other riddle, we are going to see another privately filmed, ore arranged appearance of amw, l bet she is being paid for these appearances. I just hope his socks fit this time and may a pair of shoes, a blanket, a toy/stuffier and a bib or rag for drool.
a home run
Baseball, America’s game. Home run, hit the ball out into the stands, run all the bases until the final base which is called home base and you’ve made a home run. But MM ANON you sly lady🤣🤣🤣, you are not talking baseball. She is going to do a runner and head home! Be gone, be gone, go face the IRS🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂🤣
a lot of backlash back home
Oh my oh my, showing him publicly live in the flesh for the first time in SA and not in the U.K. has lit a match under a huge pile of 🧨 dynamite. She is and has been playing with fire. People are FURIOUS and they already hate her! I cannot wait to hear the boos. I think the English politeness is gone, as MM ANON has said in other riddle, she has made her bed or beds🤣🤣🤣, she must lay in it. But the sad thing is she doesn’t give a whit of care or respect for HMTQ, the BRF nor the public of the U.K. or the Commonwealth!
sugar coated photos
Oh the sugars have literal gone crazier seeing archficial , like Pinocchio is now a real boy, not rubber anymore but flesh and blood. No seeing what’s so obvious, no relationship, the child doesn’t know her, climbing those steps in stilettos , holding him, unsafely, then roughly, tossing him in the air, the look of concern on DT daughter she even put her own arms up lest amw get dropped. Oh heavens how tacky were those cookies, sweets with words written on them, banana-gate2.0!
“is it time to go it alone “
Is the her or him going it alone? I doubt at this point, if Harry ended it, there would still be screams of racism. I think she is padding her nest in SA and planning her post-divorce life. Good luck with that project Rachel!
“THE TAPE HAS BEEN SOLD”
The infamous tossed salad tape sold at last. All uppercase. I am certain either the BRF has it, or a good friend of the BRF has secured it for them and they have it!! Who hoo !! Happy day! 😂😂😂😂😂just reminded me of her abuse of that beautiful song Oh Happy Day. I really wish she took those words to heart, the second line is when Jesus washed my sins away. I want no soul condemned but she has to choose.
“ for posterity old thing”
Again our PP, speaking, saving the video and dossier perhaps for posterity. When you save something for posterity, it means you hold onto it, keep it safe because you never know when you might need it!
burying it with the rest.
Wondering did the BRF buy the video, and just keeping that and all the other things in her dossier burying it in the secret files. I highly doubt they will reveal too much species publicly. The marriage will dissolve as a natural course, she can’t adjust etc etc. The BRF and PH. Publicly have done everything and then some to welcome her, they are spotless in this!
🎼 “ riders on the storm” 🎼
The Doors, classic album. He died in Paris and is buried there, it’s a place to visit for many fans.This is a classic song but dark in lyrics. Speaks of home one is born into poor ie dog no bone, don’t want lyric infringement so l adjusted that. Speaks of a killer , a family dying in a car crash. Speaking in the chorus that a woman needs to love and support her man. Put these all together at , pardon the pun, but they are a perfect storm for describing what’s Harrys life has been and is. Lost his mum is a car crash, his wife born into grifting family allegedly. Certainly getting no love and support from her. Today, well yesterday now, but seeing him sitting where she sat, with the now woman who was the girl she comforted, him all alone by the tree, didn’t you just want to take him in your arms and comfort him? Tears now……
GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦
Thank you dear PG! I am in awe! You are brilliant! A very rough day for Harry I am sure….🙏🏻💜💜💜
Ask Skippy submission
Sep 28th, 2019
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70: Sept. 29
💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU SO MUCH DEAR MM ANON, I KNOW YOUR TISK IN DOING THIS FOR US, TO SEEK THE TRUTH AND GET IT OUT IN THE OORN🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜
Did l ever tell you all, l do the riddles from bottom to top? I don’t know why, l used to look at the Sears catalogue from the back too, l still look at magazines back to front. A fun wacky PG fact!🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂
MM Anon
skippyv20
MM ANON …… Cape Town closure ……bells and whistles farewell … on returning, a tour… an unpopular reluctance …… disinformation …… the fence that won’t mend…… club class flying isolation …… Heathrow paps…… no rest for the wicked …… “Hello Boys”…… “He needs a parade”…… “ not another bloody investigation” …… now D&G not H&M. …… cosmetic records!!!! O,no
… Cape Town closure
They officially closed the Cape atone part of the tour and flew out September 29,2019. I was going to say today but l know this is a worldwide blog so l thought l would put that in there. The itinerary has them leaving from Johannesburg, and returning to London. I am sure most of Cape Town citizens had no idea they were there, if they did, no one cared really.
bells and whistles farewell
This whole entire holiday has been just bizarre, her behaviour, a real live baby, was that baby really a boy or just presented as such. We all know the baby shower was for a girl baby, the BRF/LG so so so clever!!! Turned things around that it was a boy baby, that video of them showing amw to a few selected UK and US/CBS reporters was bizarre, at Windsor Castle. She looked so nervous, and PH said they grow so much in two weeks, the glare she gave him!! You know it, you all saw it! Will there be a whiz bang goodie doo? I think likely, paid, bussed in, waving goodbye. I have visions now of O showing up!
on returning, a tour
Oh my goodness, is SS already planning a return trip, as she has been showered with love and praise by thousands and thousands , the crowds have been massive and amazing , kind, amazingly kind, and kind of amazing! NOT!!! I hope you got my attempt at using her favourite words and l tried her amazing kind of word salad, so kind and amazing of me to be so amazingly kind!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂
an unpopular reluctance
Reluctance means unwillingness or disinclination to do something. She is unwilling in any way shape or form to put celebrity aside and take on her proper duchess role. But this makes sense because there was never supposed to be a wedding let alone a baby. Using the word unpopular putting it mildly.
I do think this may refer to PA and his reluctance or downright refusal to be part of the F.B.I. requests for an interview with him regarding his friendship with JE, GM. and other things like VRG allegations. I do not know how long his refusal can go on.
disinformation
PR PR PR PR constant disinformation. One might use the word lies!! It’s been sickening to see and read in the papers. It has Albee’s thus wth her and it will forever be. Oh l just had to let out a big sigh because it’s so sad, and the baby ring used, disinformation about his age, everything about him is one huge example. There is nothing worse than using a child. Scripture says “Suffer the children to come unto Me, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven “ the exact is
Matthew 19:14 King James Version (KJV)
14 But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven..
the fence that won’t mend…
Mending fences has an obvious meaning, fix a broken fence. However it can be used as a metaphor, fixing a brook relationship for example. I think this is what MM ANON is referring to. Madam, initially when she came on the scene was ‘a breath of fresh air’, marvellously inclusive and welcomed into the U.K. and Commonwealth, and into the ‘family she never had’. Many , including PW had grave concerns. It didn’t take very long for the bloom quickly began to fade. There is ABSOLUTELY NO CHANCE IN A MILLENIA INFINITY! that her relationship with the British public, most members of the BRF, the Commonwealth and many around the world , can ever be mended. It has been irrevocably broken. Complete disregard and blatant disrespect for HMTQ! And a laundry list of grifting, disgusting behaviour, plus her complicated filthy past. No mending of this fence is even wanted, never mind attempted. GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦
club class flying isolation
The return flight, again commercial l am sure, back to London should be interesting. She and her team, will again be prattling on about how successful and awesome the tour is, IF BY THE WAY, she and her smuggled alleged living diamond , amw, if she wants baby in London, or just leave is SA. and carry on with dollies. My sentence structure is horrendous but IF BY THE WAY, l meant IF she can get through customs. Do babies need passports, Royal Allegedly babies? Was he sleeping on arrival and she got archficial through that way. I don’t know how, strict customs are with royalty.
On the flight, Harry will be alone, not involved in anything because it’s all about a madam. I noted today how sloppy he looked catching that flight in t shirt and jeans, wrinkled, he has been wearing those ratty brown suede shoes the entire time. He suited up well though earlier and l an certain when he means the High Commissioner he will hopefully be dressed for it. I keep repeating myself, but his looks and behaviour are SCREAMING FOR HELP, HE HAS COMBAT FATIGUE! I am so worried, he’s wasting away, remember the interview when he was in uniform and something urgent was happening, he took off his mic and ran to see what needed doing? Remebhow fit and muscular he was? Look now, dishevelled clothes, those brown shoes😩, looks like he cannot sleep etc etc etc. I know l keep repeating myself but please LG, l know he is getting help behind the scenes, but our Harry is at such risk now, in his depression, l do worry greatly for him!!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Heathrow paps
Oh my my my my my!!!! The media and paparazzi will be waiting at Heathrow, if that’s where they land, they might be cheeky and land at Gatwick or elsewhere. The media when they return and subsequently is going to be scathing!!!!! Again read her twitters, petal is in SA talk about the Sussexes non-stop but denies being her, petal calls her baby bubs has done for quite sometime. In SA, big reveal, amw nickname is Bubba ☺️☺️☺️🤣🤣🤣. We are not talking about Einstein here! It would be funny if it weren’t so dangerous!
no rest for the wicked
She had all her private things planned during this holiday. Yet she still manages centre stage by foisting herself via IMessage or Skype l think to be with the classroom where PH was in Malawi. All about CAMFED campaign for female education . She just cannot let him go, except when he could have really needed love and support, in Angola, the mine field, him sitting all alone by the tree named after his mum. Oh self seeking narcissistic behaviour, she lives a Master Class of it.
“Hello Boys”
I can’t remember the name of the film, it might be Hello Boys actually! It’s fantastic Bette Midler at her finest, set further war, WWII, she goes on tour to entertain the troops, she would appear on stage all gussied up looking gorgeous and sing for them, she is amazing. Great film! I wonder MM ANON are you relating madams behaviour to the character in the film?? Going on tour and putting on a show!!! I might be way off but that’s a great film!
“He needs a parade”
Support and love for Harry! Agree wholeheartedly! Yes he made a bad choice of bootycall that was his choice,who of us is without sin and can cast the first stone? This was all pre-planned, they would have kept at it, until it worked. I think he needs medals of the highest order for service to the Crown, HMTQ, his granny. He needs away time, months of privacy, therapy, perhaps medication, he ,Ishtar we’ll be on anti-depressants already! HE NEEDS PRAYER🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻. This is evil at work, it’s a nefarious web planned, he was shared in it.
“ not another bloody investigation”
What now? What’s the next thing? Well PA is in a spot of trouble, putting it mildly. He has hired a new PR guy, Jason Stein, former Amber Rudd’s bulldog, lost his job when she quit recently! The paper says he is a ‘master of the dark arts’! The same was said about SS. What are the ‘dark arts’ these PR people use??? Anyhow, there are more accusers , resulting further Epstein investigations in America. The F.B.I. are more insistent upon an interview. The palace statement and PA years ago when this first came up, were emphatic he had NO sexual contact or interaction with VRG. They are not commenting today, read the article in the Daily Mail, if you’re inclined. They are saying, royalty is not an issue, years ago it was swept away. Since the #metoo movement the world has changed. Many many famous men have been charged, Bill Cosby, many famous American media personalities, actors, Weinstein, . This week l was chuffed to hear Wexner been charged in connection with Epstein! If you don’t know Les Wexner, look him up. He’s an American billionaire, one of his many businesses is Victoria’s Secret! Buy from them, you give money to an alleged sexual predator! I am not recalling just now his other businesses, but very very wealthy men have been and are being brought to justice. PA is in serious trouble. The ,ore he refuses to cooperate and scream he’s royalty, he is dragging out the inevitable. Poor poor HMTQ, l just feel so bad for her!
now D&G not H&M
Baby Archie wore H&M to meet DT, which was subsequently marched and appeared officially on H&M advert and website l think website. Now baby Archie will appear wearing D&G. Dolce and Gabbana highend designer Italian clothes. This woman never fails to put a foot wrong. I don’t know if Archie was wearing it while she carried him to catch the plane to Johannesburg , the photos again captured through a clear glass walled corridor. Did anyone else think the ‘baby’ she was carrying looked a lot smaller than amw who met DT? Or was it just me? I would love a side by side photo. Maybe l am totally off.
cosmetic records!!!! O,no.
I am not sure if these two clues go together but this is how they appeared to moi. Are there records surfacing or in possession of the BRF and LG’s team of investigators that show the extent of work she has had done, especially since coming onto the scene with PH? We know something was up at U.S. Open, she had that invisible medical tape over her nose 👃🏻, yes l purposely use that colour of nose! We all have seen her nose appears to be collapsing, those darn hobbies can show up in real physical manifestations ie wide eyed , dilated pupils, agitation, hyperness, just read the twitters feeds that will show you bizarre behaviour, also noted the times tweets are sent!
As far as O, no…..PH is/ has reportedly been working with an O on mental health programs for a fruit tv channel. I have no idea where things are st with that. Is she going to come back on the scene in Africa. I know she has sponsored a school there, where there had to be some firings of l think the administrator , look it up!! I have visions now of her showing up for a surprise appearance with madam. Oh gracious, make it stop! PLEASE😩😩😩😩😫😖😖😖
GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦
Thank you so much dear PG! Seems much coming….Seeing your humour and wonderful personality shining through….is wonderful, you are BACK! Thank God for our Dear PG!🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜. Sept. 29, 2019
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brazilianism · 6 years
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Brazilian Elections - Let’s talk about  Fernando Haddad
Alright, so. Elections this year and we’re in a big mess, right? The new plot twist to our ever changing political scenario is Fernando Haddad, who happens to be one of the only politicians I actually like, so i’m gonna use this post to talk about his work so y’all can get to know him better since he’s not that famous outside of São Paulo. First of all, for all of you who have no idea what i’m talking about, let me catch you up: Lula (our ex-president) is still, ya know, in jail. For corruption and stuff. We can debate that more thoroughly in another post. Problem is, he wants to run for president again (he wanted before he was arrested already), and technically by some legal standards he might, cause his sentence hasn’t really been contested in every possible court, which is to say that even though his chances of them being overthrown are VERY small, it could still happen and therefore there’s a legal breach there that could allow him to run for president. And bOY is he popular at it - he was leading all the polls around the country these past few months, he was at the lead with nearly 40% of the votes at the last poll (published on the 21st/august). But there has been a debate for months now on whether he’d appoint someone else as a candidate in his place in case the most likely thing happens and he can’t run... And we kinda got the answer a few weeks ago - he didn’t appoint someone else, but he picked his vice president: Haddad, from his own party. Which is to say, in case he is barred from running, Haddad will likely be taking his place. [in the very surprising scenario where Lula DOES run Haddad would not be vice president anymore cause they have a deal with another party and then Manuela D’avila, another ex-candidate for the presidency gets the job cause she’s now supporting Haddad as kinda vice-vice president but that’s a whole other matter). So let’s talk about Fernando Haddad.
Quick background: Haddad is the son of a Lebanese immigrant and graduated in law school (and is a certified lawyer). He's also got a masters degree in economy and a doctorate in philosophy, all at USP, which is like, one of the best universities in Latin america. He’s also a teacher there in Social Sciences and currently a teacher at another private university. In public office, he has been the Minister for Education for 6 years of Lula’s government and Mayor to Brazil’s biggest city, São Paulo, from 2013 to 2016. I’m not saying you need any of those titles to be any good at the job (I mean, just look at Lula I guess) but we sure have to say Haddad came prepared for the fight talking about ground knowledge. 
As the Minister for Education Haddad invested mostly in making the access to universities broader - it was his government that created ProUni (a program that provides government scholarships to poor students in private universities), and re-designed FIES (the financing and credit system for poor students to pay for universities) making it easier for people to pay (less interest rates, more time). During his time we also got 14 new public (free) universities and other kinds of educational centers making the number of available spots go from about 140K to 218K. He was also responsible for reformulating ENEM so that it could start to become a sort of brazilian SAT, now accepted as an entrance test to several universities that all had different tests (and you had to take all of them and pay for all of them if you wanted to apply to multiple places). When he started, Brazil invested about 3,9% of our GDP in education. At the end of his run, we were investing 5,1%. The PISA results showed Brazil among the 3 countries that had evolved the most in education during those years (yeah, we were still pretty low on the rank, but we can’t say it wasn’t working). So education is quite his thing, but that’s not all. 
As a Mayor, Haddad had a clear vision for the city that involved making it more livable - his slogan said “more human”. The ideia is based on studies that say once the citizens have a sense of personal relationship with the place they inhabit the whole area starts to become safer (and also better taken care of, obviously). And that seems obvious but São Paulo had some MAJOR problems of livability. 
Imma list some of my favorite projects. For starters, Haddad changed the lightning of a big part of the city to LED lamps (they’re way brighter so the sense of safety is enhanced cause no dark alleys and stuff AND they’re more efficient so we also started saving energy) [x]. Then he created bike lanes and more bus corridors to make public transport faster and so that people could actually use BIKES in the damn city without too many risks (the number of people who use bikes here grew over 60% in a couple of years, who could have guessed it [x]). He then reduced the speed limits for several streets and speed lanes. That was MASSIVELY impopular, but he said he didn’t care if people hated him as long as it worked in the long run - and, lol, it did. With all of that he reduced accidents and deaths on traffic in the city by 15% overall and by half in specific areas [x] [x], and most interestingly: São Paulo dropped over fifty fucking places on international traffic ranks (which is over 10 times what ANY other brazilian city varied in the ranks those years so there’s no blaming it on any external factors) [x] . Yeah, Haddad started to solve traffic, which is arguably the thing everyone hates the most in this city. People spending less time in traffic start spending more time at leisure - no matter, he closed important avenues on Sundays so that people could use that space, public space, for fun, and anybody who’s been at Paulista on a Sunday nowadays will have seen how damn awesome that place became. He also regulated and stimulated Carnaval as a street party that is now country-famous (do y’all remember how nearly nobody ever considered spending Carnaval in São Paulo a cool thing before 2012? yeah. and people come to the city now just for that and spend a whole lot of money here cause of it [x]). Then he created our very first fucking city tour program with buses and all (man, biggest city in the country and we didn’t have a city tour bus for tourists, what the fuck). He did the first actual Floods Tackling project that involved actually mapping the floods and acting directly on them with more cleaning of the streets and even smart-monitored sewers and trash cans at some places [x]. He created LGBT support centers and was responsible for putting the São Paulo Pride Parade (one of the biggest in the world) on the official government calendars (and as minister for education he was responsible for trying to implement an anti-homophobia program involving educating and orienting teachers to deal with these situations) [x] . He tackled the drug problem (especially the crack-cocaine problem) downtown by offering support (food, housing, medical and psychological assistance, and actual jobs) to addicts - a lot of people were against “giving money to drug addicts”, but again, it worked, and I have a whole post about this here. He created a program to stimulate recycling food at the big open markets and to ensure that organic food was served in the local schools every week. He helped open several tech centers that allowed for people to take tech and coding courses and use 3D printers and other stuff for free or at low prices [x]. Still want more culture? He created public cinemas at poor areas (that showed all kinds of movies, local ones, international ones, all in theaters as good as the paid kind) and created a whole institution to stimulate film making in São Paulo, SPCINE [x] [x]. Oh, and he started a project to take the names of our previous dictators and torturers off the street names (cause yeah we had that) and replace them with, well, decent people [x]. 
Not enough to have some cool ass projects? K, we can discuss his economy as mayor. Cause not only Haddad was innovative as fuck as said above, he also made the city’s finances as good as ever - and I mean it, cause he renegotiated our historical debts to the federal government and reviewed several contracts to companies AND created an agency to investigate corruption scandals regaining several millions into our vaults [x] [x], in a way that by the end of his government we had over 40 billion less in debt [x], 2-3 billion in store and had our investment rate (you know the thing that Brazil kept being lowered at? by international agencies? those grades and stuff?] raised. Oh yeah, and he got like 95% of what he promised in his campaign done [x]. 
And I said all of this so I can exemplify why I like Haddad - it’s not about one or two individual projects, it’s about the way he thinks as a whole. He thinks ahead and he thinks based on actual science - without forgetting a human side of it all. All of his unpopular and polemic measures had positive results - they went miles away from common sense, but it didn’t matter for him cause scientific studies had showed it would work (and it did! what a fucking surprise!). Of couse, that made him the most hated mayor by some people cause all he does is just so weird, right? and he never cared, multiple times he mentioned he didn’t mind being unpopular if it was the right thing for the city. And he was in fact unpopular cause of that (and cause of his party, obviously). He left office leaving contracts signed for about 7 years ahead. He didn’t even have high hopes of being reelected by then, but he left stuff ready to work for the next government (likely an opposition one) anyway. Cause that’s what you do if you’re a decent politician, but it’s so damn rare to see this kind of attitude here. Haddad looked at cold hard facts, saw a city that could use a lot of change in several areas, made a plan and went ahead with it knowing that a lot of people would hate him for it but that in the end it could actively change how we live - and he was right. By the end of it, people did have a different relationship with the city. 
Haddad showed me in both his public offices that he doesn’t have the small mind of most our politicians that seem to only be able to think about things that can happen every 4 years, nor only about things that will be popular for the sake of being popular without being right. And that’s just what I want from a politician. Seems so simple, and yet it’s nearly impossible to find. So that’s why he’s a politician i’m not afraid to support. 
To close this off i’m gonna leave y’all with links to articles from the Wall Street Journal and The New York Times (portuguese here) and The Wire complimenting his time as mayor too so english readers can get some more opinions AND here an Haddad article (in portuguese) that I like if you want to see more of him (especially his views of Brazilian politics), cause this doesn’t even cover all his interesting projects.  Here’s also an interview with him in english, and here here and here some in portuguese for people who want to get a better sense of him and his government plan. Feel free to ask more questions about his projects, I’ll try to get to them when I have time.
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mst3kproject · 5 years
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1205: Killer Fish
I saw this movie once before, decades ago – my mom taped it because ‘it sounded like something you’d watch’.  It came to mind back in January of 2017 when I decided to start doing Episodes that Never Were every ten days, but as of the trailer I hadn’t yet tried to find it.  It wouldn’t have been hard.  I couldn’t remember what it was called, but ‘Lee Majors fish movie’ would have done the trick, if I’d only been in enough of a hurry to bother.  The words Killer Fish did come to mind, but I felt like the title of a movie in which the Bionic Man fights piranhas had to be something cooler than that.
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The word ‘piranha’ never looks correct to me no matter how I spell it, even with OpenOffice assuring me I’ve got it right.
We begin with the perfect crime.  A group of crooks break into a power plant somewhere in Brazil and steal a cache of jewels, which they hide by throwing them into a lake.  All that remains now is to wait for the police activity to die down, and then they can just send a diver down to get them back and leave the country.  Simple, right?  Well… maybe not so much.  When two of the gang decide they want all the treasure for themselves, they discover that the lake is infested with hungry piranhas!  Nor is this just a happenstance – the mastermind behind the heist deliberately released them there, lest anyone try to claim more than their share of the loot.  Boy, that must’ve seemed like a great idea, until a sudden storm leaves the entire cast stranded on a sinking boat in the middle of piranha-infested waters.
Piranhas are like ninjas, or black holes, in that most people probably have some vague idea that they don’t work in real life the way they do in movies, but nobody bothers to look them up and confirm this.  As the blogger I took it upon myself to do so, and learned that piranhas are actually omnivores who are as likely to use their powerful jaws to crack open nuts and seeds are they are to hunt small prey.  In the rare cases when they attack humans, the worst they do is nibble on your fingers and toes a bit.  Far from being likely to devour you, piranhas are considered a food fish in South America!  Reality, as usual, is far less gruesome and much more delicious than movies would have us believe.
But nobody wants to watch a movie in which people eat piranhas, so Killer Fish, here we go.
The first half of this movie actually feels like it’s got some momentum.  We get the heist and the escape, which are interesting even if they don’t make a whole lot of sense (if the movie ever explained why a power plant has a fortune in pre-cut jewels hidden in a basement locker, I missed it), and then the Italian brothers betray the rest of the gang and get eaten, and the Token Girl, Kate, starts to discover what an utter bastard the mastermind, Paul, is when she realizes he’s responsible for the deaths. We’ve got intrigue, infighting, and plenty of frothing red-stained water.  As piranha movies go, so far so good.
Yes, by the way, there is a scene in which Kate runs around screaming “PAAAAAUUUL!” I haven’t seen the episode yet at the time of writing this, but if somebody doesn’t holler, “you iz a werwalf!” I will be very disappointed.  (Future Me: referencing Cry Wilderness was not a substitute, damn it.)
The film starts to lose its way when we’re introduced to the people who I think are supposed to be our main characters.  That’s a bad sign.  Our male lead is Bob, a guy who’s connected in some way with the jewel thieves, although what his actual job was I have no idea.  In the opening heist scene everybody’s wearing masks so the only ones identifiable are Kate and the blond-hair-helmeted getaway driver.  Bob’s opposite number is Gabrielle, a model who has come to Brazil for a photoshoot with her bossy manager Ann and her gay stereotype photographer Ollie.  Bob and Gabrielle fall for each other right away for no particular reason besides that she’s hot and he’s the supposed hero, and the movie starts to wander off.
What we want during the middle of this movie is more information about the piranha repellent Paul has apparently developed, or about his health problems, both of which sound like they’re going to be plot points but neither are.  What we get is two different but equally obnoxious meet-cutes between Bob and Gabrielle, and scenes in which Gabrielle seems to think Kate is Bob’s Other Girlfriend and nobody ever bothers correcting her.  This leads to lots of the two women metaphorically putting their ears back and hissing at each other, while I roll my eyes because they literally have nothing to fight over.  Kate’s not after Bob, she just wants the jewels.  Gabrielle doesn’t even know about the jewels, she just wants some dick. Apparently movie writers consider a love triangle so essential that when there isn’t one, they fake it!
By the time we get to everybody on the boat, trying to figure out how to get off it without getting eaten, it feels like the writers have simply run out of ideas… and then there’s the ending.  What the hell is up with the ending?  Kate skips town with the jewels, except once she’s on the plane she’s shocked to find that Gabrielle stole them from her. Buuuut when Bob and Gabrielle open the case they find that Kate already took half the gems and left them a note!  Oh, and Bob and Gabrielle were secret agents or some shit the whole time, I don’t know, this is never explained or even hinted at, it’s just a gotcha ending. The end of the movie would have worked just fine had it simply been Kate escaping with the gems and Bob and Gabrielle eloping in Rio, but they had to throw this at us.
The reason ‘Kate gets away with it’ would have been an okay ending is because when I think about it, Kate has a much better claim to protagonist status than Bob does.  We never find out what Bob’s doing there or what he really wants, and the surprise ending only confuses the matter.  Kate, however, wants to be filthy stinking rich and run away with Paul, whom she has convinced herself she loves.  She undergoes an evolution over the course of the story, as she becomes increasingly aware that Paul is an asshole and that he’s just using her, until she finally reaches the point of wanting to shoot him, only to find he’s betrayed her one last time by giving her an empty gun.
Paul has treated Kate terribly throughout the movie. He manipulates her emotions, does things like forcing her to dive in with the piranhas while he pretends to be suffering from a heart condition, and finally abandons her while excusing it on the pretext that he assumes she was using him.  He’s such a jerk that his death and her victory feel like justice even though she, too, is a criminal.  But Kate can’t be the main character because she’s a girl, so we’re stuck with Bob, and half that victory is snatched from her at the last minute by Bob and Gabrielle doing… whatever the hell it was they were actually doing the whole time.
We know Bob’s the hero because he gets the girl (Gabrielle) at the end, and because he gets the Hero’s Battle Death Exemption – and the latter is a doozy. I’ve mentioned HBDE before, in my review of Blood Waters of Dr. Z.  In case you’re unfamiliar with the term, I believe it comes originally from Jabootu’s Bad Movie Dimension, and states that the movie’s monster (whether animal, human, machine, whatever) will have to spend far more time and effort trying to kill the hero or love interest than it will any other character, regardless of whether this makes any sense.  In Killer Fish, the piranhas devour almost all their victims in seconds, and the victims themselves are too busy thrashing in the water to swim or even try to accept offered help.
There are only two exceptions to this.  One is Ann, who manages to swim frantically for shore while the piranhas are busy devouring Ollie (I think we’re supposed to assume that since he’s The Fat Guy, he kept them occupied for longer than usual – nice).  The other is Bob.  The first time he dives in, trying to retrieve a sunken raft, the fish have been stunned by a depth charge.  The second time, he swims out to Paul’s raft, fights him, sabotages the raft, and swims back while the piranhas are supposedly nibbling on him the whole time, and yet he shows no evidence of injury!  Again, I haven’t seen the episode but the obvious joke is that since Bob is Lee Majors, the fish can’t eat the bionic parts.  (Future Me: at least they made a joke about that.)
The piranhas themselves look okay.  There are some scenes that appear to have had real piranhas in them and some that I think are puppets or other types of fish. Either way, the shots where they’re eating somebody never show their teeth sinking in, even to cloth.  People like Bob or Little Alex Kitner come out of the water, supposedly terribly injured, completely intact but with their clothing soaked in blood. We’re shown skeletons among the weeds, but the film totally fails to give us that scene that’s obligatory for any monster-in-the-water movie, where somebody hauls a body out and discovers it only exists from the ribcage up.  The guy who made the ‘Gable Film’ did that with paint and spray foam!  I waited the whole damn movie for that scene and it never happened.
My Mom was right, this was something I’d watch.  It’s something I’d watch and then complain about at length, leading people to ask me why I watched it, which would prompt me to reply that I watched it so I could complain about it!  As bad movies go, it’s reasonably entertaining and easy to heckle – so easy, it’s like shooting … well, you know the rest.
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wearejapanese · 6 years
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By Emily Yoshida
When the first trailer arrived for Isle of Dogs last fall, I had three immediate, consecutive reactions: One: Oh, no. Two: Wait, I take that back. I’m going to be a good critic and reserve judgement until the week of March 23. Three: This is exhausting.
In the week since Isle of Dogs’ initial limited release, a measured, varied, and nuanced discussion about Wes Anderson’s use of Japanese culture — and other cultures in general — has happened in fits and starts. It’s not a new conversation; it’s been happening over the course of Anderson’s filmography, probably starting in earnest with the India-set The Darjeeling Limited in 2007. What’s louder to me, this time around, is the contingent of people seemingly broadsided by this conversation, and furious it’s even taking place. Justin Chang’s review for the L.A. Times in particular asks more questions than it answers, but thanks to the diligent coverage of everyone from Entertainment Weekly to Fox News (when was the last time Fox News cared about Wes Anderson’s honor? I’m guessing never), it became the central proof that the PC police were out to get America’s most symmetrical auteur.
I’m of the belief that the phenomenon commonly known as cultural appropriation can be benign, even illuminating in the right artist’s hands. The thing is, Anderson hasn’t done anything in a while, if ever, to convince me that those are his hands, but I like to think I’m always down for a pleasant surprise. Darjeeling, which somehow managed to turn an entire country and culture into a prop for white enlightenment, and look really chic while doing it, was a bad example of such appropriation. But for those of us who reluctantly still keep a candle burning for Anderson’s early filmography, and love adorable dogs, there was reason to hope that Isle could do better.
Still … those Japanese-people puppets. And the largely non-Asian voice cast (Yoko Ono was one of a few exceptions, and an extremely Andersonian one at that). American cinema, from schlocky action to critical-darling indies, still has a long way to go when it comes to depicting — or not depicting, as the case may be — Asian people and cultures. It had been half a year since we did the Ghost in the Shell outrage shuffle, but the dots were failing to connect to Anderson’s highbrow doggy-puppet movie. That’s where the exhaustion kicked in.
As it turns out, Isle of Dogs is a kind of perfect artifact for our current-day conversation around cultural appropriation, if it can even still be called that. It’s hard to call it offensive, exactly, and yet, it’s not devoid of a kind of opportunism. It’s not a crime, but it’s certainly something to unpack. Anderson self-consciously uses Japanese-ness — a very curated, Showa-era version of Japan — as a kind of costume, and Isle of Dogs depicts a heightened essence of the Japanese culture as filtered through a Western understanding, the sort of thing your grandpa or Neal Stephenson would call “Nipponese.” (Kurosawa! Sumo! Taiko drums!) There’s a creakiness to its appreciation, but it feels self-aware about the limits of its references; at no point do I think that Wes Anderson is suggesting that his 2028 stop-motion version of a fictional city represents anything real or accurate about Japanese culture. It’s a look. You could swap it out for, say, Finland, and not much would change. If I’m playing cultural-appropriation cop (a terrible job, please don’t make me do it), I’d file it under benign. Maybe too benign! (Spoilers Below)
The exception is the film’s use of Japanese language, which felt bizarre to me, even as a nonfluent (seriously, the opposite of fluent) Japanese speaker. Human characters speak Japanese throughout the film, but it is almost never subtitled, just occasionally translated by Frances McDormand’s interpreter character. It’s clearly meant to echo the fact that the dog characters can’t understand the human characters, but I wondered: What is the experience of watching the film like for a person who can speak and understand Japanese? Is the metaphor just not made for you? Is the film not made for you? Is there a hilarious, enlightening parallel movie happening in the Japanese dialogue, or is it, like Anderson’s painstakingly crafted little shoji walls, punchably paper-thin set dressing?
It was hard for me to answer these questions myself, given my pathetic grasp of the language of the country I was born in. (Sorry, extended family.) So I reached out on Twitter to a handful of native and/or fluent speakers of Japanese who saw Isle of Dogs on opening weekend, to get their impression of the film’s use of language. Their observations were fascinating and occasionally conflicting, as were their critical opinions of the film. What I found, even in this small sample size, was a similar dynamic I’ve seen before in debates about Asian culture as reflected by Western culture — perspectives can vary wildly between Asian-Americans and immigrated Asians, and what feels like tribute to some feels like opportunism to others.
Who I spoke to: Anthony, a Japanese-American translator for a Pasadena tech start-up, who was born in L.A. and grew up bilingual in Tokyo. Lisa,* a Japanese woman working in the entertainment industry, who grew up in Japan and has lived in the U.K. and U.S. as an adult. Beam, a Thai culture writer living in San Francisco, who is fluent in Japanese and lived in Tokyo for five years.
*not her real name
(It should be noted that finding people to talk to was a task in and of itself. The film just opened in select cities this week, so the pool was already small. But several people mentioned to me on social media that many of their Japanese friends living in the States didn’t even know about the film, much less have passionate opinions on its treatment of their culture. Just something to take into account.)
The spoken dialogue is fine. If you’ve ever watched a foreign film in which an “American character” makes a cameo, you know it can sometimes be unintentionally jarring. (My favorite, extremely goofy recent example is in Hideaki Anno’s Shin Godzilla, in which Satomi Ishihara plays the half-Japanese daughter of a U.S. senator, who is the singular embodiment of a trope you rarely encounter in English-language film: Sassy American Friend.) All three people I spoke to said this was not a problem for Anderson’s film. “For what it’s worth, the spoken Japanese made complete sense,” Anthony told me. “There was no accent or awkwardness.” Isle of Dogs employed Japanese voice actors for many of its non-starring roles, and Japanese writer and DJ Kun Nomura, who voiced Mayor Kobayashi, has a writing credit, which probably helped Anderson and co-writers Roman Coppola and Jason Schwartzman avoid such basic faux pas.
But it’s not really meant to be heard. Anthony reported that there was a muffled quality to much of the Japanese dialogue. “It was very hard to hear — it kind of sounded like they had put cotton balls in their mouth,” he says. “It was distracting, because I wanted to hear what they were saying.” Lisa didn’t quite have this problem, but found herself ignoring much of the Japanese dialogue anyway. “I didn’t exactly find it hard to hear,” she says. “But I didn’t care much about it; I knew it didn’t have much meaning.”
Shocker — there’s some stilted dialogue in a Wes Anderson movie. While Lisa agreed that the Japanese writing made perfect sense, some of the performances, including Koyu Rankin’s performance as Atari, struck her as a little unnatural. “The main [Japanese-speaking] characters, or anyone with relatively more dialogue, like Atari or Major-Domo, sounded a bit weird,” she said. Lisa thought that Nomura’s performance as the mayor worked, but she sensed that the dialogue had been written differently for other characters. “They didn’t try to speak Japanese precisely,” she says of Atari and Major-Domo. “But they had a Japanese ‘cultural effect.’ So it was kind of caricatured.”
Beam also observed a kind of “Japanese affect” that he suspected was intentional in its stiltedness. A scene he liked in particular was one in which the scientists working on the Dog Flu serum make their discovery and cheer their victory with a unison “Kampai!” “It’s what you really see Japanese people do in real life — they’d drink, cheer, congratulate, and say thank you to each other,” Beam says. “It’s slightly robotic which is kind of cute and comical at the same time.”
Tracy is definitely a problem. The lack of subtitles for the Japanese characters is one of the more controversial aspects of the film. While Beam enjoyed the film overall, his biggest gripe was with the film’s use (or non-use) of subtitles, and he felt that the treatment of Greta Gerwig’s American character Tracy provided an instructive contrast to the Japanese characters. “I feel like it uses its self-imposed rule to not use subtitles as an excuse to make that character white, because someone needs to speak English in Megasaki City,” he told me. “Without that rule, the character might as well have been a plucky Japanese schoolgirl and it would have made equal or more sense (or like, just cut her character out entirely).”
The written language is a little spotty. Both Lisa and Anthony noted that the written language, as it appears in the art direction and onscreen text, stood out more than the un-subtitled dialogue. “A lot of it was an awkward, kind of choppy phrasing,” Anthony said. “It kind of made me think that someone had thrown these English phrases into Google Translate. The [characters] weren’t the exact characters you would use in that context.” One example he gave was with the drones that appear in the film, which were referred to as mujinki (literally, “machine without a person”). “People today wouldn’t use the literal translation of drone,” he says. “Most people would just say du-ron. It just makes more sense.”
Lisa also says that the written-out “Megasaki City,” a fictional name which doesn’t mean anything in Japanese, contains a fictional nonsense kanji character presumably made up by the art department. Anthony’s sense was that the art department and graphics department perhaps didn’t consult as much with native Japanese speakers as the writers did. “When something was handwritten in the film, it looked perfect. It was just the graphics that were off.”
There are pretty much no Japanese Easter eggs. I was also really curious about any hidden jokes or gags in the script’s Japanese, but all three viewers agreed that the dialogue, for the most part, is purely utilitarian; when it came to playing to the Japanese speakers in the room, Lisa says, “It didn’t seem like they really cared.” She adds, “There were no hidden messages, [the language] just there to make an atmosphere, like ‘It’s Japan!’”
The exception is the title of the film, which in Japanese is Inugashima, which Lisa says will read to Japanese viewers as a direct reference to the folktale Momotaro (“peach boy”). In the story, which every Japanese child (even me) knows from birth, Momotaro travels to the island of demons, or oni, which is called Onigashima. The parallels end there, but the name will lend a mythical feeling to the film for viewers who grew up with the story.
The reviews are mixed to positive. “All in all, despite a few things that are tone-deaf, I think it’s quite a respectful depiction of Japanese culture,” Beam says. Even when some of the language quirks stumbled, the essence of the film felt particularly Japanese to him. “I love that Atari, a Japanese character, is portrayed as an ultimate hero who values friendship more than anything, which is the same concept (‘nakama’) as what most Japanese animes/dramas, old or current, revolve around.” Lisa also really enjoyed the film, and thinks it will go over well with Japanese viewers when it’s released there in May. “It’s not an accurate reflection of Japan, but it’s based on Japanese fables and a Japanese point of view, and Japanese problems. And we love dogs.”
Anthony, meanwhile, has more misgivings. “There’s a kind of disconnect with the Japanese-ness, which made it feel like Japan was just a backdrop to tell this story,” he says. Then there’s the question of intent vs. reception: Watching the film at a theater in Pasadena, as the only Asian person in the audience, couldn’t help but affect his viewing experience. He described inexplicable laughter from the crowd every time a Japanese character reacted to something in Japanese. “It made me think, What are they laughing at? The fact that they speak a foreign language?”
Still, as someone with a foot in both cultures, he’s been tracking the film’s reception on both sides of the Pacific, particularly the hype on Japanese Twitter. Much of the anticipation revolves around the appearance of Yojiro Noda, lead singer of the rock band RADWIMPS, as the voice of a news anchor in the film. But there’s also a general eagerness to see it. “People are like, ‘I know he’s going to respect Japanese culture,” Anthony says. “Japanese people love Wes Anderson.”
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henrymidfields-blog · 5 years
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Review: Review: Persona 4 Dancing All Night - Atlus's MeToo response? - SPOILERS
Originally posted in Serenes Forest - Link
Last month saw the first anniversary of what marked the beginning of the MeToo movement, which were the sexual abuse accusations against Harvey Weinstein. From there, the #MeToo movement spread amongst women in showbiz across the United States and eventually other countries as well. Well, except Japan. Japan (my home country) did not see the same level of activity in the MeToo movement, where the wrong kind of conservatism prevails. However, there are three cases that spoke out against it (and possibly more that I am unaware about). The first, and ongoing one is a journalist named Shiori Ito who was raped by a senior journalist. The second, and more relevant to this, was Perfect Blue, an animated movie which is a story of an ex-idol's desparate attempt to further her career in showbiz, and discussed sexual exploitation in showbiz years before MeToo did. The third one, which basically dropped the same anvil as the second one was Persona 4: Dancing All Night.
The Gameplay
Persona 4: Dancing All Night is a rhythm and dancing game with a "Where are they now" story after the canon epilogue of Persona 4 Golden. As a persona who has only passing interest in dancing games, this was perhaps the only one that I actually was interested in, and played fairly extensively.
Considering that, the game was easy enough to get used to. The interface and controls were intiutive, with the notes spreading outwards, indicating which outer buttons on the PS Vita I need to press or hold down, and it was easy to follow the notes. You can play the various songs from various Persona 4 entries, with many remixed by various Japanese artists, in which they appear at certain points in Story Mode, or as a score attack in Free Mode. Bonuses for high scores and story mode progressions appear in the form of extra costumes which you can buy using in-game currency in this game's versions' Tanaka's Amazing Commodities, or pay and download via DLC.
As for the difficulty of this game, it is very easy to get used to (as mentioned before), yet very difficult to master. There are four modes in score attack, which are Easy, Normal, Hard, and All Night. Easy is very much for beginners to the genre, while Normal is also managable. The former two settings are also the modes available in Story Mode, which means that you can enjoy the story without having blisters on your fingers. On the other hand, Hard is quite challenging, while only the best rhythm gamers will be able to even have a go at All Night, let alone master this difficulty setting.
So far, this sounds like what a good rhythm game should be. So why did I pick up this game and not, say, Dance Dance Revolution, PaRappa the Rapper, or even Persona 3: Dancing in Moonlight?
Story Part 1: Overview
What Persona 4: Dancing All Night had which others generally lacked is a story - while less substantial than the main game, was nevertheless a story very much worth watching, and was the main reason I got into this game. 
So, Rise Kujikawa, the J-Pop idol who went back to the city (presumably Tokyo) after her adventures in Persona 4 (Golden), and was going to join an all-star concert with the upcoming Kanamin Kitchen as her comeback debut. And she wants Yu Narukami and his friends from their old school (who all solved the serial murders together) join in as backup dancers for her debut. However, the game soon takes a darker turn which focuses on the other idols gone missing, and it is up to the Yu and his Investigation Team to solve the case.
Yes, sure, there is quite a lot of fanservice in this game, but the story is much more than that; not only did its take on tatemae and honne resounded with my mind, it also helped me appreciate some of the basic aspects of the #MeToo movement. Zhiqing Wan has wrote a review that I almost wholeheartely agree with, so expect a number of quotes from her. (I strongly urge readers to read her review too.)
Story Part 2: Being ourseleves and acceptance
One of Dancing All Night's discussion is the dark side of people's true self versus people's perceptions. Wan wrote:
Dancing All Night follows a slightly different path and instead deals with issues like meeting the expectations of others, and putting on a façade or adopting an entirely different personality so as to be accepted by the majority. ... [omission]
[omission]...How many times have we felt unappreciated or unloved for being ourselves? And how often have we tried to change who we are just to fit societal expectations? Persona 4: Dancing All Night tackles these questions with finesse and, just like Persona 4, proves to be a very human game that we can latch onto easily.
I can very much relate to the above paragraph that Wan wrote, as I had a similar issue with my classmates. Back in 1997, my family and I returned to our hometown of Tokyo from San Francisco, where my dad worked as a bank's branch manager. And the conformist Japanese classroom was as such that I felt punished for acting assertive or even honest, whether it was through the regimented curriculum, or the bullying I experienced from my classmates. It felt like Atlus questioned the usage of tatemae (the veneer we all have in our lives) versus honne (our real opinions) in modern Japanese society, and how we should be not afraid to be more honest with ourselves.
Story Part 3: J-Pop Idols and sexual exploitation
The other, more timely, moral that Atlus explored was the lives of Japanese pop idols. This is the industry where older people (mainly men) are attracted to the idols, which we see has some of the strictest lifestyles of Japanese professionals (both private and public). Wan described it succinctly here:
...Dancing All Night doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to exploring the lives of Japanese pop idols either. There are a few narrative sequences in the game where we get to witness the emotional turmoil of the four Kanamin Kitchen girls, and the struggles they face within the industry. These sequences are all incredibly stylized within the game, of course, but just like in Perfect Blue, it’s shockingly easy to draw parallels between the in-game events and real life itself.
The story's critique got me curious and I had a look at some of the stuff that idols had to go through. Many of the idols have to follow codes of behaviour that demands a high level of politeness and purity: the extent that bans having boyfriends and requires prior permission to marry. One idol member from AKB48 shaved her head and made a public apology for going out with a boyfriend - something many of us do as part of our teenage lives. Even worse, unlike stars on the Disney Channel which at least has the justification that they are starring on a children's show, the situation surrounding the J-Pop idols are basically the hypocrisy of the managers and audiences alike. Hannah Lee, a Law/Asian Studies student from Australian National University writes, for example:
Most fans who follow groups like AKB48 are middle-aged men. The idols themselves are teenagers, who begin performing at around 13 years old. Idols are often presented in cute school outfits and perform in synchronised groups. Whilst sexualisation of women is not limited to Japan, Japanese idol groups specifically pander to a young girl fetish, which is encouraged for the sake of record sales.
But what young girl would ever consent to this? If consent is ‘free and informed’, there is simply is no way that a girl, at 12 years old, can knowingly consent to being sexualised by men four times her age.
Equally disturbing is the fact that this idol fad came as the counter-response to the first wave of Japanese feminism in the 1970s (referenced from the link). Japan Subculture Research Center describe's AKB48's founder, Yasushi Akimoto, as:
...a Zegen [sex merchant] with a vision – having never been popular in high school himself, he recognized the deep sexual frustration and vast need for sexual fantasies festering in the educated and dateless Japanese male. When he came out with “Onyanko Club” in the mid-1980s, people were blinded by the sheer genius of this man. Here he was, peddling quite ordinary high school girls on TV, who all got up on the studio stage to teasingly sing “oh please don’t take my school uniform off, no-no-no!” to an audience who could never hear such titillating pleas when they were 18 so was totally stoked to hear it now...
And the above mentioned are just the articles written in English - there are more on that on Japanese news sites. As for myself: While I enjoyed watching the so called gravure idols in their swimsuits (and to some extent still do), this has made me have second thoughts about the stuff they possibly have to go through. The game (and the subsequent research) was quite enough to make me feel uncomfortable about myself, and acknowledge that I have my fair share of misogyny that I may have contributed.
Story Part 4: Ashly Burch as a mature Rise Kujikawa
And my thoughts do not end here. I also noticed that this game was released a couple of years before the Weinstein scandal had its cover blown last year. Granted, it probably did not have the effect in kicking off the MeToo movement anywhere near the level of other factors, and it definitely has not in Japan, sadly. But I cannot help but think about how the release had such perfect timing.
The other thing is that the English localisation had a response in implying a possible reconstruction of the idol's role. While a lot of people seem to miss Laura Bailey as Rise's English VA, I actually welcome the more mature treatment of Rise by her new VA, Ashly Burch. It seems like Rise asked her agency for permission to assume a more mature persona for her new idol role, allowing her to shed her airhead-ish role of her old idol persona, and it seemed like she did so assertively too. It's a very good thing, considering how idols should be able to grow up and be more independent like the rest of us.
Conversely, it's to my high disappointment (and my only disappointment in this game) that the Japanese original of the game did not do so in the first place - either Rie Kugimiya (the Japanese VA) should have toned down the chipmunky voice Rise turned out as, or Atlus should have casted someone else to sound more in-line with Ashly Burch.
Story Part 5: Other comments
There are also some interesting tidbits to read from the characters speeches as well. The characters don't get much character development per se, partly because the story only takes 2-3 in-universe days at most, and also because I think, understandably, everyone in general wants to be more like silly, carefree teenagers after their harrowing work in solving the serial murders in the prequel. This particularly applies to Yosuke, Chie, and Yukiko, as they are in their final year in high school and will be having their university/job entrance exams soon - this is their last opportunity before they need to get serious again.
However, there are many retrospective reflections that come into play when they interact with each others, and with the idols they are saving and befriending. Many are very heartwarming and awesome to see, precisely because of how they reflected upon their own issues, and how their generally honest interactions with each other over the past year in the prequel strengthened their friendships, and how they became more confident with each other.
The majority of the story piggybacks the prequel which is Persona 4 Golden (the main story) - as such everyone should play before this game, as they won't be able to appreciate Dancing All Night's story otherwise. (See here for my reviews of that game.) Both this and the prequel are on PS Vita, so if you can play this game, you practically have no excuse to not get Golden! Special props goes to Uncle Ryotaro and Nanako Dojima:
Back in Persona 4 Golden, Ryotaro was unable to come to terms with his late wife (killed in an hit-and-run accident) and how he has to raise his daughter Nanako on his own, therefore himself emotionally fleeing into his work as a detective. Nanako, on the other hand, was lonely at home, having to do many of the house chores by herself, until Yu and his friends started to befriend her. Here, Ryotaro does his detective work just as his duty, and yet still enjoys his time with Nanako. Nanako, on the other hand, fully trusts her father, and is even befriending Kanami the idol.
Conclusion
So there you have it. If there was a game that not only wrote a story worth reading, but highlights some of the social issues Japan's biggest fad has tucked away conveniently, this is the game. I encourage everyone to either borrow a friend's copy of Dancing All Night (or even better buy a copy, but not before understanding the story of Persona 4 Golden) and look up "the dark side of japanese idol industry" on Google. And maybe spread the word. I'm not sure how I myself can do to address the issue that Dancing All Night rightly raises apart from acknowledging my contribution to misogyny, but at least I can say that Atlus has done a great service in raising the social issue, and they should not be ashamed for it.
Verdict: Buy the game. (But play P4G first!) Other recommendations: Look up the info on the social issues. 
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dragonwarriorgal · 6 years
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Love, Simon: A good adaptation?!???!!!
So I finally saw this movie in the middle of july (it got released in the end of june in my country) and before it was released I went out of town for a holiday with my family and I decided to read the book while I was away with no internet whatsoever. (That’s why I was radio silent for a week fyi)(now I am finally going to post this because it has been sitting in my draft box along with an embarrassing crush story from Christmas)
And the movie actually managed to capture the sweetness of the book, I definitely got that the makers of this movie wanted to do right by the book, and I love them for it...they could have done it better imo but it was very clear to me that the studio had some say in some of the elements in this film.
Now I am trying for the first time to do a movie review on Love, Simon and I am gonna do a lot of my critique of this film, and talk about the changes they made from the book (which was a lot less than I thought, kudos) so there is going to be SPOILERS under the cut
Thanks to tumblr and the annoying 12 year old boys behind me at the shop at the movie theater showing The Incredibles 2 for spoiling who Blue is played by in the movie...
Thankfully I just purchased the book Love,Simon, and there aren’t any actors in a book so I got to read that with virgin eyes. 
Shortly how I thought about the book: Started a little chunky, but turned into adorable sweet little story about coming out to the world.
Now the movie managed that perfectly imo, and as I said before, it shows that the team behind it wanted to convey that story to the world.
There were some changes in the movie and some new characters, some who actually managed to help the story and its theme and some who did not and were just weird and/or annoying as hell.
Sidenote, Here’s a fun drinking game for you/me: take a sip every time you hear someone at the theater ask the person they came with “what happened?” or “what does that mean?”
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^ a perfect example of how I feel about them and how I was/am at the theater when I hear peOPLE TALK-... I will get to that maybe in another post, I just... I had to get it out there
sigh
...Anyway, the changes:
1. One sister instead of 2.
I get it, honestly I get it. Telling a 2 hour story that happens over the course of six or so months, you have to make some changes. And lets be honest, Alice (his other sister in the book) was she REALLY necessary? The team had to make some cuts and changes and I am honestly not mad about it especially since I am in film school now and I understand better the process of making a coherent film. Though, they could have used Nora (the sister in both the film and the book) a little bit better, for example; make her tell Simon about the Creeksecret post that Martin made instead of Leah like she did in the book! That’s the only critique I have about it, along with fleshing her out a bit more. Instead she just has the character trait of being obsessed with cooking.
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(^That was her role in the movie, not kidding)
2. Martin
Sigh, I am just going to say this upfront: BookMartin was much better! I at least could feel for the guy in the book, I believed that he did not want to blackmail Simon, NOT that I am saying that what he did wasn’t bad. It was horrible of him to do that, and I hate him for doing that! But, and I can’t believe I am making this comparison, like with Thanos in Infinity War, I understood his side of the story. He was an asshole, but you felt sorry for him. MovieMartin was just a major asshole. That’s all I can say, even when he interrupted the national anthem (just waiting for that Trump tweet) to go big and went home in shame, he was just not a redeeming character for me.
(I couldn’t find a good gif of him, but just know that I did not like him)
3. Taylor
Oh, sweet, sweet Taylor. How could they done you so much wrong in this film. MovieTaylor could have been EASILY been cut out of the movie, she literally did NOTHING! Her name wasn’t even mentioned until the end I belive (it could have been in the homecoming game as well, I couldn’t tell). I was so HOPING that she would step up when Simon got bullied in the dining hall, like she did in the book, and chase these assholes away. But no, she was just useless...
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4. Ethan
I am going to be honest here and say I am kinda tired of the whole I-wear-girly-things-and-talk-in-a-funny-way-because-I-am-gay cliche, if anyone was offended by that statement I am sorry, I did not mean to offend anyone. I am just tired of that cliche, and not to say that he was a bad character, he was okay really. I just... am tired of that cliche gay character.
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Please don’t be offended, and I am sorry if my statement about Ethan offended you.
4. Tony Hale’s character
Mr. Worth? More like Mr. WorthLESS amiright? He was THE MOST ANNOYING CHARACTER in this movie. Every time he was on screen after his introduction I almost screamed “WHY ARE YOU HERE?” He was just a BAD comedic relief and he did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for the plot. Two thirds of his screentime was just A REACTION SHOT OF HIM REACTING TO EVENTS OF THE MOVIE. 
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I couldn’t, find a clean version of this gif, but his “character” can be summed up in this gif and I immediately thought of this gif during the movie 
5. Now for the story:
I know it is self given but, I like the book better than the movie. But first the positives: I like the way they portrayed the goings of the emails and what went through Simon’s mind about “who is Blue????”. I like his relationship with his parents. The most powerful scenes in the book was done perfectly and acted perfectly, so kudos, I hope there is some Oscar buzz. And I can’t think of another ones at the moment, I saw it in mid July and started writing this at like 1am till 3am(And school is starting to get really busy and I wanted to finish this while the film is still fresh on my mind). 
6. Now for the slightly rant about the story(sorry if I offend someone):
Why, oh why did Simon make such an embarrassing introduction that he is GAY? 
Why, oh why did Simon GOOGLE “how to dress as a gay man”?
Why, oh why did Bram go through “am I REALLY gay” at the halloween party and kisses a girl (spoiler: he didn’t like it”) and also make Simon ALREADY SUSPICIOUS THAT HE(Bram btw) MIGHT BE BLUE?!
And why, oh why did Simon post the message to Blue about meeting at the Carnival on tumblr and why did Blue BLOCK his email address after the fiasco and WHY DID THE ENTIRE SCHOOL GO TO THE FERRIS WHEEL TO WATCH WHEN BLUE FINALLY REVEALS HIMSELF TO SIMON?!!!!!!!! Seriously, this made me so angry! Mr. Worthless annoyed the shit out of me, this scene PISSED ME OFF!!🤬🤬🤬😡😠!!!! 
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SIMON’S MOST PRIVATE MOMENT! HE IS LITERALLY GOING ON HIS VERY FIRST DATE WITH SOMEONE HE HAS TRULY FALLEN FOR! SOMEONE WHO HE HAS BEEN DYING TO FIND OUT WHO HE IS AND ACTUALLY MEETING HIM! SIMON’S FIRST TIME IN SEEING THE FACE OF THE PERSONALITY HE HAS FALLEN FOR ON A DEEEEEP PERSONAL AND SPIRITUAL LEVEL!
AND THE ENTIRE SCHOOL IS THERE WATCHING IT HAPPEN AND ACTUALLY CHEERING FOR THEM! LIKE IT IS THE FUCKING WORLD CUP!!!!!!!! INCLUDING HIS BEST FRIENDS!!!!!!!!
Beside for all of that, this was a REALLY good movie. I enjoyed watching it, especially because the entire audience(which were all girls fyi) reacted appropriately when there was a plot twist and I had already read the book (and saw and heard the spoilers) so I already knew what was happening in the movie🤣 
This film is a solid 7/10 for me (Tony Hale and the audience take one whole point each and Taylor, Ethan and Martin’s changes take a third of a point each)
Sorry for the long post🙄 If you have gotten this far, please enjoy a goofy gif from tumblr 🙇‍♀️
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ravenclawelitist239 · 6 years
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Throne of Glass
Throne of Glass (Throne of Glass, #1) by
Sarah J. Maas
Series:
Throne of Glass #1
Published by
Bloomsbury USA Children’s
on August 7th 2012Genres:
Fantasy
Pages: 404
Stars: 4.5
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Foreword
Now, when I say this book is a mess, I dont mean that I didn’t like it or that it was a bad book, believe me, it wasn’t. I had to wait 3 months to read this book because of everyone in my area wanting to read. I had to fight someones grandma to finally get my paws on this book, and let me tell you, it was worth it! When I tell you this book was good, my hands were calloused from turning the pages nonstop. I finished the whole book in one day! After reading several “decent” books in a row, this was just what I needed to restore my faith in books.SynopsisCelaena Sardothien is the best assassin in the land (so we are told) with a tricky past. Sentenced to a year of labor in a literal death camp where she is beaten and whipped, she has given up hope of escape after nearly being killed attempting to do so. Just when all hope seems lost, the Crown Prince and Captain of the Guards arrive to shackle her and drag her to the royal castle, where she thinks she is sentenced to death. On the way there, instead of worrying about her future, she is to busy considering how she can kill everyone around her because you know, she’s such a deadly assassin. (or so we are told)Turns out she isn’t going to die. Well, she wont if she becomes the King’s champion. In order for that to happen, she must compete in a hunger-games like tournament where participants engage in months worth of training and killing in a final fight to the death where one will stand to become the King’s personal champion/lapdog.This all sound pretty sweet to Celeana because she is a deadly assassin who wont have any problem defeating like 23 other people in a death match. The only thing that bothers her is that she has to operate under a secret alias so that no one knows who she is because if they find out who she is, they will all go running home in fear. She considers this a major blow to her pride.Everything is going well, Celeana is excelling at everything, but some maniac has decided to start killing the competitors mid-way through the competition and everyone is freaking out trying to find the culprit. In the middle of it all, Celeana must navigate through supernatural forces, betrayals and politics, and love interest(s).
My Thoughts on the Characters, Plot, World Building
“My name is Celaena Sardothien. But it makes no difference if my name’s Celaena or Lillian or Bitch, because I’d still beat you, no matter what you call me.”
This book was totally blowing up in my feed. EVERYONE and their mom seemed to have read this book before me and loved it, so me being the ardent bookworm that I am, went to my local library and put it on hold. I waited 3 months, but when I got it, I was so in love with the cover. It was so shiny and pretty that I threw aside the book I was just reading [Shadow and Bone] to read this book. I read the first 10 pages, and kinda wasn’t really feeling it so I went to the park and sat down under my favorite tree and spent the whole day reading the book and it was soooo good. Like, I just loved the book so much and was smirking at every bit of dialogue because it was just so goood.Celeana. She is really just one of those characters that that you slowly love more and more as the book goes on. Honestly, at the beginning, I didn’t like her. She just has that effect on me for like the first hundred 100 pages. One, because she seemed so vain and arrogant. She has just been released to live in a freaking death camp ad has to compete in a gosh darn death match and the only thing she seemed to care about was how pretty she was and how handsome the prince was. However, her backstory was just so sad and depressing, especially when you consider the fact that she is only like 17. If I had went through what she did at 17, I would’ve been driven crazy. Like, I go crazy when I stub my toe or accidentally cut my finger washing the dishes. She was whipped and beaten and watched her friends and family die. At freaking 17. Everyone I knew was giving the book like 2 stars because they didn’t think Celeana should’ve been as girly and arrogant as she was just because she was a deadly assassin. I get where people are coming from, but there isn’t an assassin rule book that says all assassins should be sulky, depressed monsters who wear black and carry knives in their shoes. I loved how Sarah J Maas purposely set her apart from what she thought people felt as though Celeana should’ve been. Most authors make their heroines weak, insecure, and dependent on a man. Celeana was beautiful, strong, and clever and she knew it. While she does have love interest(s), that isn’t the whole focus of the story and she conquers her battles pretty much by herself and takes the initiative.
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The fact that she could still smile after being sent to a death camp makes me respect her so much. Also, she has to fight for the man that destroyed everything she loved.
I wont go into all the characters, but I will talk about Dorian and Chaol [Kale? Kol?]. Ok, the love triangle was really predictable and everything and I am not mad at Celeana for it, because its not like they are terrible men. They are both intelligent and arent desperate for her attention. They do their own thing and are even best friends. While I do think Dorian is a little boring and cliche’, I do respect him as a character, because I know how it feels to have apathetic and cruel parents. Not to much is revealed about Chaol, but I really loved him as a character. He actually challenged Celeana and wanted the best for her.Let me take the time out to mention my favorite character, Nehemia. She was so amazing, and strong. She wants the best for herself and her country and she is the perfect friend for Celeana because she isn’t afraid to put her in her place. I cant wait to see what Maas does with her in the future.The world building is so amazing. The map in the front of the book is beautiful, and the world seems like a lot of thought was put into it. The plot however really wasn’t. The contest is laughably set up. The trials and tests seems like they were thought up out of a stereotypical like gladiator movie or something. Like seriously, she had to climb a wall [one person died], shoot a bow, test some poisons [dont worry, no one died because they had antidotes] and to Celeana, it was never any issue. The night before every test, she didn’t spend practicing or thinking about it, she would just be thinking about Dorian or Chaol. And the tests only took up like 5 pages each at a maximum and some were even talked about in like one sentence. Especially toward the end. Celeana would be like, “Oh yeah, there was a test today, but Dorian looked so cute and I wonder how I can make Chaol laugh tomorrow.” The king seemed very cartoon villainy and gets like 5 mentions total and 2 instances where we meet him and the minor characters are laughable. Especially, the lame girl that kept trying to get with Dorian.My issue with Celeana
While, I did love Celeana, I also had several issues with her. For one, the author is a master of tell and not show. She tells us how amazing Celeana is at pretty much everything from pianos to swordsmanship to man snatching. We even get a small display of how amazing her fighting is when she took out a full grown man with little to no effort. We never get shown much of anything else. We get told how amazingly stunning she is and every time her powers come into play, everyone revers and fears her and talks about how dangerous she is. However, its hard to believe that a 17 year old is feared by men like 3 times her age. She was ridiculously over hyped in every aspect. Also, the other biggest aspect I never liked about her was how much of a blatant Mary Sue she was. She was just good at everything and no harm ever really came her way except the final scene where she is drugged and assaulted. She loves books, plays the piano amazingly, is just so beautiful, and is dangerous. Her only fault is her arrogance and pride, but the way its presented in the book, its more a negative personality trait and not a fatal flaw. I need to see that she has a flaw or else she’s just gonna seem unlikable. I’m not saying a person cant be beautiful and really good at something. I know a lot of people in real life who are smart, beautiful, and seemingly good at everything, but they always have a flaw.Overall, I loved the book and the way everything was set up and look forward to buying it on Amazon and reading the rest of the series. If you liked this review, comment, and stay tuned for my review on Crown of Midnight.
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weekendwarriorblog · 4 years
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Why I’m Going to see Tenet in Connecticut
Hi there! I think the title of this blog post is pretty self-explanatory, but I want to make sure that this doesn’t mean that I’m explaining my decision to justify it to anyone who happens to be reading this or to try to convince you to do something as potentially irresponsible, crazy or unsafe. Far from it. I just know that there’s gonna be someone out there who starts attacking me or ridiculing me or otherwise just because I made this decision... or more likely, everyone on #FilmTwitter will just ignore me like they always do.
Warning: Part of this post goes into RANT LEVEL ORANGE. It was written free-form with no editing as with some of my 30 Minute Experiments. I won’t be taking questions.
If you have been reading what I’ve been writing on this blog over the past five months then you already know how I feel about New York Governor Cuomo and his dismissive nature about reopening movie theaters despite feeling it’s safe enough to open schools, gyms, museums, resume high contact sports and all sorts of other things that people enjoy. But movies? It’s not even that he’s gone on a rant about high risk it is like some of my colleagues (who obviously know so much better than scientists, experts, and I dunno... people who studied contact tracing and the spread of COVID to be more informed about these things). No, he just didn’t mention movie theaters at all... well, actually, twice. Once was when he was announcing counties of New York opening in Phase 4, supposedly the final phase of the phased reopening, when he mentioned that movie theaters wouldn’t reopen but again a few weeks ago when directly asked about the press.
No, movie theaters aren’t open in New York City or New York State despite having the lowest infection rate in the country. I mean, even California has started to figure things out and the majority of that state still has 6 - 8% infection rate. It’s in the midst of the pandemic and doesn’t have it in its rear view mirror.
So yes, one of the reasons I’m going to CT to see Tenet is as a big middle finger to Governor Cuomo and also in some ways to Mayor DiBlasio for not standing up to him. Every other decision Cuomo has made -- schools, gyms, etc -- he’s allowed it to be at the discretion of the counties or in the case of NYC, it should be the mayor, but he continually feels like he needs to punish ALL of New York City residents cause of a “few bad eggs.” (Wait, wasn’t that Chainsmokers concert on Long Island where all your rich friends hang out, Gov?)
But enough about Cuomo. Yes, part of my decision to see Tenet in a movie theater as soon as possible is selfish, because I have been waiting for it for a long time, and so I’ve been anxious to see it. And I know that if I try to wait until Cuomo gets his stick out of  his butt, one of these sites is gonna spoil something in a headline or someone is gonna make a casual tweet spoiling something, and yes, that would ruin my enjoyment of the whole mystery behind the movie. I was able to get through opening weekend of Avengers: Endgame without spoiling stuff, but I won’t be so lucky twice.
And yes, my selfishness is probably as much about having to sit at my computer watching movies for the last five months. I mean, I’m sitting at my computer so much during the course of the day, that I’ve had to shut it down and turn on the TV and watch whatever’s on. I’ve really gotten into the ABC summer game shows. Every once in a while, I’ll get a Vimeo screener that I can watch on my TV and I can maybe try to focus in a way I can’t when my laptop is open and there’s so many distractions. But I miss distraction-free movie watching. 
Even one of my most-anticipated movies of the year -- not Tenet, but Disney’s Mulan -- I’ve had to watch on my computer screen just last night and about halfway through, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was enjoying the movie and you’ll see from my review(s) that I kind of love it, but it’s just not the same experience of shutting off the rest of the world and just sitting in a theater enjoying a movie. The funny thing is that in the ‘90s (and even now) I’m way more into music and I’m not even THINKING about when I might be able to see a concert again. I have a lot of tickets for 2021 shows that were once 2020 shows.
So yeah, getting out of my apartment, going to a theater, and just sitting in there for 2 to 3 hours to get away from the world? I’ll take my risks that with a 1 in 100 chance of encountering anyone in a state with a sub-1% infection rate, the 30 people in my theater aren’t all hacking up COVID into the air via “aerosoles.” (I’m seriously ready to spit in the face of the next person who cites aerosoles, and fortunately, it will just mean a gob of spit on my laptop screen that I’ll have to clean off.I won’t have to spend the 30 minutes sanitizing it like they’re doing at most movie theaters since I’m the only person who touches the thing... there’s an obvious joke to make here. I’ll resist because I’m already deemed “toxic” by someone whose name won’t be mentioned.)
But there’s a lot more to me watching Tenet than me revisiting my punk roots or being selfish. I mean, if i had to watch it on a screener, I probably would but I know that I just won’t enjoy it as much. 
Last week, I spoke out about the public shaming and attacks being made against anyone who felt that they want to return to movie theaters, and especially against Warner Bros. and Christopher Nolan for not offering the movie in drive-ins or sending screeners to critics in movie theaters-less areas. I won’t get into that again, except to say that Nolan did not shoot anyone 7 times in the back. He made a movie and he gave people a choice: “You either decide that it’s safe enough to go to a movie theater to watch it or you don’t see it, and you wait until you’re comfortable or it’s on HBO Max or whatever.” 
You were given a choice. In fact, you’re ALWAYS given a choice... except when a governor decides that he’s going to make the decisions for you by keeping movie theaters closed even after all his speeches about “reopening the valve,” “phased reopenings,” etc. He did an amazing job getting New York out of the things but now he’s being just as political and egoistic as Trump. When you can just write executive orders to get your way, why bother with everyone else that we’ve elected for the State Senate and Assembly? Are they just sitting at home twiddling their thumbs? Have they been secretly furloughed? No, a few of them have spoken up including a few in Albany itself... but I ...  won’t steal Peter David’s schtick by digressing...
I’ve already had people yelling at me about my stance on this with everything from “You might kill others” (sure, if I actually have COVID and don’t wear a mask or social distance) to “think of the poor movie theater employees”... oh, you mean the ones who have been out of work and have no income and even less with the pandemic unemployment being cut off? Okay, let’s get to them because more of my decision is about them than myself. 
I was mostly unemployed when COVID hit and I would be struggling if I didn’t get UI (unemployment insurance) but I can only imagine what some of the people who work at theaters are going through. I mean, my local theater the Metrograph, I absolutely love the staff there. They are fucking top-notch and the way that theater is run should be a blueprint for EVERY SINGLE ARTHOUSE THEATER IN THE COUNTRY. Sure, they’re all insanely young and good looking but they’re also truly nice and good people, still eager and excited about the world and not quite as cynical as we get once we turn 30.
But this isn’t just about the youngsters, no. I want to talk about another regular theater I go to called the Village 7 in the East Village. This used to be the WORST THEATER IN THE CITY (and that’s saying something). I mean, every time I went there in the early ‘00s as a film critic was a horrible experience. The place was dirty, poorly maintained and it was a disaster. They’ve since renovated and remodeled and it’s actually a really nice and comfortable place to see a movie to the point where I’ve started going there more than the Kips Bay theater which is about 20 minutes further North by bus. But the important thing about mentioning Village 7 is that if you go there during the week, there are two elderly ladies, one at concessions and one taking tickets. I have to say that both are probably in their 60s... and (I’m not making this up) THEY’VE BOTH BEEN THERE FOR 3 DECADES!! They are lifers who stuck through the theater’s worst and came out the other side with jobs and now 5 1/2 months after COVID hit, I have no idea how they’re doing either physically, health-wise or financially without having jobs. Who knows if they’re being taken care of and whether they’ll be back if/when the movie theater reopens.
So my decision is just as much about the theater workers, many who actually like their job and try to do a good job, because there are a lot of them despite all the disparaging comments about theater workers by many of my friends and colleagues.
To me, it really hurts seeing some people I genuinely and truly like, and even some of my closest and dearest friends, taking this opportunity to stand on a soapbox and rail against movie theaters reopening and movies like Tenet in particularly just because... let’s face it.... THEY’RE SCARED. 
I said from the very beginning of this pandemic that the worst thing that one can fear is fear itself. I didn’t make up those words. They were uttered by possibly one of the country’s greatest Presidents who had to come into office in the middle of  one of the country’s worst financial crises with a second and more blood world war about a decade on the horizon still. But he was right, and i know this from experience. The worst thing you can do for anyone at this point in the pandemic (especially if you live in New York) is to still be cowering at home and boosting the media’s fear-mongering and pushing an anti-movie-theater narrative, as if you think that will save lives. (The funniest moment in the last couple weeks is when one critic claimed that they were railing against my pro-movie-theater-reopening stance because they cared and were worried about ME. Yeah, right, dude. We have never had a conversation outside of a junket and not even in the past few years. What a laugh.)
I don’t want to be cold or callous about this but my central TENET (har har) has always been that everyone should be allowed to do what they want and believe what they want AS LONG AS THEY DON’T HURT OTHERS. And that means everything from physical harm to emotional and mental distress by the type of piling on we’ve seen now that we’re well into the Cancel Culture Generation. I already have good friends giving me virtual side-eye for my stance and my decision, completely disregarding all the things I know about the spread of COVID that comes straight from Johns Hopkins. I watch a lot of news and a lot of political press conferences and few of them ever mention some of these things, downplaying them in favor of the constant “Wear a Mask! Wear a Mask! Wear a Mask!” that most of us already are doing. 
We follow Cuomo’s orders and do what he tells us to do, and then he reneges and doesn’t do what he said he would do... reopen safely. This doesn’t mean keeping movie theaters, often a haven for New Yorkers in summer not just to escape the oppression of everything that’s going on in our city but also the oppressive heat.
You see, #FilmTwitterElite, some of us don’t have cars, because we don’t need them or we can’t afford them. Some of us don’t have AC for the same reason.  Heck, some of us (like myself) don’t even have a partner or significant other or children to keep us company. Some of us aren’t invited by their so-called friends to do Zoom watch parties every weekend.  Some of us haven’t seen a single friend, acquaintance or colleague in person for 5 1/2 months, and have started having meaningful conversations with the guy at the bodega. (His name is Salach, and he’s awesome. Whenever I didn’t feel like going out or get out of bed, I can call them up, and he knows my number, my name and even my order. I try to stop by once a week to check in on him because they stayed opened EVERY SINGLE DAY during the pandemic. I worry that it’s wearing down on him.)
So don’t fucking tell me that I don’t care about the theatre employees, you fucking #FilmTwitterElite hypocrites. I bet you don’t know the name of a single employee at your local movie theater. I made an effort to learn every name of anyone who worked at the Metrograph, and I call them by their name, and even talk to them about movies when they’re not busy working. (Granted, some of the names have escaped me after not seeing them for six months but I do hope they’re being taken care of.) That’s all I have to say. On Monday afternoon, I’m getting on a subway for the first time in almost six months, and then I’m getting on an MTA train (first time in a couple years I think) and going to Bridgeport. I’m being met by one of my long-time movie colleagues, one who I actually like and respect as a person immensely, which let me tell you, is a VERY small group, so that will be another first in nearly six months.
I have a ticket to an IMAX theater in Milford, CT with four empty seats next to me, and I’ll be wearing my mask during the entire experience although yes, I probably will get popcorn if it’s available because while I’m not a big popcorn eater, I want the full experience, since God knows how long I’ll have to wait for New York movie theaters to get the okay. (I’ll wash my hands between the train ride and digging into the popcorn.)
I’ve gotten a lot better at watching screeners than I was in March, but that doesn’t mean the experience of watching screeners has gotten better. No, far from it. And boy, it will be an absolute JOY to watch a movie that doesn’t have my name and/or Email address emblazoned in the middle of it. I know who I am. I’m the guy who is trying to get the movie business and especially the theatrical aspect of it back in whatever way I possibly can. 
If I end up getting sick from the experience than fuck me. You all were right. But I will be getting tested on Tuesday and I’ll go back to my near-quarantine from the last 5 months to make sure I’m not spreading anything to anyone who might get someone else sick. No one wants that. I don’t want that. Christopher Nolan doesn’t want that, and I’m guessing no one at Warner Bros, AMC and all the other theater chains want that. They all just want the world to make an effort to get back to some semblance of normalcy in a safe way, and you can’t do that by cowering at home or flaunting your ability to go to drive-ins.
If I sound angry, it’s because I am, but more I’m just disappointed... in my friends, in my colleagues and even in movie writers who I don’t even know but I know for a fact that they’ve made a nice living thanks to the movies, the people who make them but more importantly, the people who plunk down their money every week to WATCH them in theaters. The people who don’t have screener links handed to them on a silver platter whenever they want them. The people who don’t have cars or AC or even a lot of money but still feel the need to use the little money they have to go to the movies every once in a while to escape this absolutely horrible world we’re living in right now. Why would you make the situation worse for them by shaming them and soapboxing? Seriously...
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supercultshow · 4 years
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Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Bigfoot Pitter Patter” with a minor in “Friendly Fire”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of SyFy and Asylum films’ Bigfoot!
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Did you know that there are over 200 films and Television shows about Bigfoot? There’s Bigfoot vs Zombies (2016), Son of Bigfoot (2017), and even The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot (2019) just to name a few. I say ‘over 200’ because that’s just the stuff that has Bigfoot literally in the name. if you start counting things about Yeti’s like Snowbeast (1977) or Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon (2008), movies about Sasquatch like Sasquatch Hunters (2005), or things with ambiguous names like Exists (2014), or Harry and the Hendersons (1987), or the numerous pieces of media that mention or dedicate a scene to a bigfoot like Strange Wilderness (2008) or the gosh darn Goofy Movie (1995) the number must be well in the thousands.
Aim for bigfoot! Avoid hitting the monument! I mean…if you have to hit one of them go for Roosevelt, I guess, but we’d prefer you not.
“What is this, a hootenanny?”
How dare you get all the best lines!
Oh, but he’s back! He’s the man behind the mask! And he’s out of control!
Did you know that Bruce Davison directed this? It’s one of his only director credits which include 3 episodes of Harry and the Hendersons!
Flanel: The official textile of lumberjacks and ironically, environmentalists.
If you wanted to see a big CG monster throw cop cars at helicopters, you came to the right bad movie party!
It makes sense, seeing as how Bigfoot folklore dates back to before the invention of film, but it doesn’t seem to explain why almost all of the Bigfoot media in the world is Supercult worthy. I’m telling you that we could fuel this movie watching party for decades just on hilariously awful movies about abominable hairy beasts. It’s a shame we’ve chosen to narrow the field to a humble double feature tonight, but if you’re looking for cheesy Bigfoot flicks it’s hard to go wrong with the made-for-tv 2012 action/adventure/comedy Bigfoot.
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Bigfoot was co-produced by the Syfy channel that brought us stunningly bad monster films like Dinocroc vs Supergator, Lavalantula, and Piranhaconda which was produced by Roger Corman of all people, and The Asylum, an American indie film company that specializes in “mockbusters”, low-budget films that cash-in on the productions of major studios. Classic examples include Snakes on a Train, Atlantic Rim, and Transmorphers. Syfy and The Asylum have partnered for several films. If you’ve seen a ridiculous monster film with the word ‘Shark’ in the title, it’s probably from them.
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You would be forgiven for believing that everything about Bigfoot is phoned in. The dialogue and acting are subpar, the environmental message is ham-fisted at best and patronizing at worst, and the visual effects are par for the course of any Syfy or Asylum film, which is to say they are laughable. The 50-foot, deafeningly loud sasquatch seems infinitely capable of sneaking up behind people in the woods, computer generated outhouses ‘crush’ screaming extras, and every scene of the beast snatching a bystander is accompanied by a TV-14 rated off-screen squelching sound effect. But I prefer to see this film as a paid vacation for the people involved. Say what you want about the quality of the film and the script (and don’t worry, we will), but everyone is definitely having a good time.
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It’s not as if the people involved are unskilled. Most are veteran TV actors from shows like the Brady Bunch, That 70s Show, and WKRP in Cincinnati. Everyone is perfectly capable of acting well, delivering snappy one-liners, and generally being believable human being on screen. It’s just that the story, which barely amounts to a series of strung-together fur-fueled fight scenes, has the emotional range of bloodcurdling scream and Alice Cooper guitar riff. Alice Cooper himself shows up to get punted into oblivion by the CG menace.
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Bigfoot has a 13% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes. One IMDB reviewer wrote, “I’m not quite sure what happened. This atrocity came on and next thing I knew, I was drooling on myself and had crapped my pants.” But that just begs the question, what did they expect!? No one on set or in the audience is in the dark on what this film is all about. It’s a silly TV time waster for teenagers to ignore while feeling each other up on the couch.  It’s an opportunity for 60-year-old veteran actors to get paid and chew up the scenery. It’s yet another ridiculous addition the already long list of ridiculous Bigfoot films in the world.
It’s also the best damn Bigfoot movie you’ll ever see that ends with a fist fight on Mount Rushmore. And that’s a Supercult guarantee!
Supercult West is proud to present, Bigfoot!
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Bigfoot Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Bigfoot Pitter Patter” with a minor in “Friendly Fire”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of SyFy and Asylum films’ Bigfoot!
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