#not tagging this post because i don't think i should put it in the tags

[dangerpronebuddie]

WIP Wednesday!!

Tagged by @theotherbuckley @tizniz @daffi-990 @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove who all shared absolutely BRILLIANT stuff y'all should definitely show some love!! 💚🩵

I am pushing through Severed Artery until I get it done! I'm really really hoping it'll be posted tomorrow, if things go right. While I fill in the last missing pieces, have Buck reminiscing™ about the shooting. Because if there's a chance to tie anything back to that moment, I'm gonna take it lol:

“Uh, could you… grab some clothes from my locker?” Buck asks as he wanders into the showers. He turns on the faucet at the sink he usually uses, not even daring to look in the mirror, afraid his bloodstained face would be staring back at him. Tommy enters only a moment later with Buck's jeans and a hoodie that Buck knows Eddie stole from him. He doesn't know how it got back in his locker, but he's not knocking it. “Do you want me to help?” Tommy asks. Buck wants to say yes, he wants the comfort Tommy usually brings, but… what he really wants- who he really wants- may not… “N- no. I got it,” Buck says with what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “Why don't you get out of those clothes and I'll throw em in the washer,” he suggests instead. Buck simply nods and quickly sheds his clothes, the tacky blood drying on his skin making the fabric stick to him a little. He hands them to Tommy without looking at them. He can't. Tommy disappears and Buck shoves his hands under the too hot water. His heart drops into his gut as the water turns a pale pink. He's suddenly staring at his bloodied hands in a hospital waiting room, horrified at the fact he didn't notice how much of Eddie's blood covered him. Each time he reached to wipe tears away, he'd flinch at the sight of his hands. Chim had showed up with a shirt for him, and Bobby had softly coaxed him into the bathroom. Chim stood silent by Buck's side as Bobby scrubbed his hands. Buck made the mistake of looking in the mirror then, at the specks of blood scattered across his face like the freckles he used to have as a kid. “He asked if I was hurt,” Buck had whispered as he stared at his reflection. He had huffed a humorless laugh and shook his head. “I don't think I would've noticed if I was.” He doesn't think he would now either. He whimpers as his hands shake. He remembers the tremors from the last time, that didn't really go away until Eddie was out of surgery. He hadn't noticed them until Taylor took his hands. Maybe he should've asked Tommy to stay with him. Maybe he could put Buck back into some semblance of order before he faced Chris. No. It didn't work with Taylor. It won't work now.

(tags under the cut. As always, please let me know if you want to be added/ removed):

Absolutely no pressure tagging:

@13shadesofanni @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @loveyouanyway

@ronordmann @steadfastsaturnsrings @wikiangela @kitteneddiediaz

@inell @exhuastedpigeon @spagheddiediaz @hippolotamus @diazsdimples @thekristen999

@actuallyitsellie @daniwib @fortheloveofbuddie @wildlife4life

@rainbow-nerdss @lunarspark-cos @idealuk @shipperqueen6

@misshiss727 @likeamollusconarock @lin27 @jshadow01 @orangeboxfox92

@smallandalmosthonest @thegeekcompanion @emilybahu @lemotmo @awolfnamed-nyx

@kaseysgirl86-blog @darkrose6578 @totallynotagoraphobic @dandelioncasey @bibuckbuckgoose @whatsgoodinthehood22 @lady-elaine and anyone else who wants to share!! 🥰🩷

#911 #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 abc #fanfic #Maggie writes #9-1-1 #spec fic #the severed artery fic #the amount of times “blood” appears in this fic is... probably excessive #tommy kinard #(might regret tagging that) #wip wednesday

[thedreamsofgods]

I have some uhhh, grievances. With how Hephaestus looks in Hades 2. And I'm trying to find the best way to phrase this, but I make no promises that I'll manage, because I just flat out don't know how to say what I'm trying to say. In short, I think Hephaestus should've been given facial differences.

So theres a lot of different versions of Hephaestus like with any greek god, and as such, there's a lot of different takes on how different parts of his life ago, including his birth. In some myths, he's born a healthy baby and thrown off Olympus when he's older, which injures him and leaves him permanently disabled, and that seems to be the version of events Supergiant went with, and I'm actually mad that they did? Because in the other versions, Hephaestus is born visibly disabled. Some versions refer to him as "lame"(he walks with a noticable limp, he was possibly born with clubfoot which would mean the limp was assumed at birth, though some myths suggest the limp was gained later in life), others call him "ugly", a lot of the terminology is either outdated or completely avoided because asking people to confront disability without being rude about it is too much I guess. Upon seeing the way her child looks, Hera throws him off of Olympus for being born visibly disabled. The landing further disables him in most versions of the story.

And talking around the unpleasant parts of the subject is what bugs me about his Hades 2 design.

Yes, he is visibly disabled, as in he lost his leg at some point, probably in the fall from Olympus, and he uses a wheelchair because of his prosthetic leg. But... that's it. Supergiant had a genuine good chance to depict someone with visible differences that are often looked down on and to make a character just as gorgeous as everyone else. They had the opportunity to make a very handsome man with any sort of facial differences, and they didn't for seemingly no reason. No cleft palate, no cranial differences, no vitiligo, no birthmarks, no asymmetries at all? Not even visible back problems, something many myths specify him having? They didn't even give him any scars or burns when he's the god of the forge???

There was so much room to represent a group of disabled people that rarely if ever get to see themselves depicted as attractive in the game series known for having attractive people. It's hard to not feel like Hephaestus was designed the way he is because of the developer's reputation as the attractive characters game studio. The leg and the wheelchair are well done and he represents that particular disability very well but... that's not the only disability he should represent, and it feels downright cowardly that that's the only disability he represents? I get not wanting to make Hera out to be as terrible as the myths make her out to be, but I just feel deeply disappointed with this Hephaestus design. For as careful as they were with all the gods in the first game and with all the little details and obscure touches they've paid attention to previously, they either didn't do nearly enough here, or they willingly left out so much.

If anyone in this fandom knows of a way to reach out to the developers privately with this sort of feedback, I'd appreciate it. I don't feel even remotely comfortable trying to leave this sort of feedback on a public platform outside of tumblr, and I'm really trusting yall on here to be normal about this on here. I'm putting this in the tags in the hopes that it'll reach someone who can either help me contact Supergiant or who is willing to brave the public forums and feedback locations in my stead.

[Here's a link] to a post talking about the positives of his wheelchair and leg design as a palate cleanser.

#hades game #hades 2 #hades supergiant #hades ii #hephaestus #hephaestus hades #hades 2 spoilers #because of the hephaestus pic. just in case

[rayssyscourse]

public service announcement!

wanna know what? I'm rejecting origin-discourse labels now. I am actually surprised at just how juvenile and petty you ALL are.

i refuse to align myself with anybody of any label who thinks doxxing people, sending death threats, hounding and harassing people, or anything else like that is in any capacity acceptable or justifiable. those are not valiant efforts to defend your truth and justice, those are crimes. doxxing is a crime. death threats are a crime. why do I have to specify that I do not support violent/malicious crime?

you are not middle schoolers. I should not have to remind you of this.

normally I'm all for different opinions, but if your "opinion" is that you should get to behave like an uncivilized three-year-old because someone on the internet made a post you didn't like... that's not an opinion, that's a one-way ticket to the alt-right. I'm sure you'll be very popular over there, and we'll be glad to see you off!

so yeah. in light of all the chaos unfolding in the syscourse tag recently, I'm dropping the 'endo critical' label entirely. I'll still have all my same outlooks and perspectives and discussions, but I'm so over origin discourse labels, lol. please feel free to keep talking to me about origins and origin discourse!! i just don't want to be put under any of those labels anymore.

behind every label, there is a person with their own perspectives and beliefs. and if labels are really SO important to you that you're ready to head off to war (and crimes! doxxing is a crime! death threats are a crime! shocker, I know!) over them... the problem isn't the labels, the problem is you.

#sorry this post is so cynical/sneery LOL. in my defense i think i should get a pass when sneering at doxxers and death threat defenders #rayssyscourse #syscourse

[wasyago]

we're at it again🕺

#jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #my art #sketch #back on my bullshit woo yeah woo yeah woo yeah #genuinely a lot happier with this design than the previous ones. the lighter metal looks better on him #and this one doesn't have a lot of detail (or any detail tbh) so it looks more solid and fun i think #and you can see im trying to figure out how gill would carry his sword around #technically he should just carry it in his hands and don't have a scabbard because its a longsword and isn't supposed to be sheathed... #but like... its not practical to always carry it in his hands. especially in a day to day life. because he always has the sword on him- #but he doesn't necessarily always hold it? like. he needs hands for stuff #i think i like the back scabbard better (even if i drew the whole turnaround for the hip one) just because it doesn't mess with his tail #plus that way destiny's blade is higher up and gets to look around at stuff and i think its funny #but then like... the cape is a little awkward if it has to go above the sword... #but its not a big deal. if he has a cape and armor on he probably holds the sword in his hands anyway #am i putting too much thought into this unnecessary detail? yes #am i rambling in the tags again instead of making a separate post? also yes

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

#hs #homestuck #dirk strider #eye strain #probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!! #anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags #so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse #and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol #also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold #though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk #speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least #the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an #and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you #imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting #and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive #uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember #and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags #do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would -> #wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts #beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it #also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa #sigh poor thing #this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm #also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week #(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag. #and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!) #update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic #this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah

[buglaur]

she's live

now you can see what everyones height is in my head because i refuse to download height sliders. look at ass <3

#also works on mobile btw ☝️ !! #me successfully making this is proof you can achieve anything with 500 google searches #you should see my search history #html how to put image. html how to change image size. html how to put images in a row. html how to center a row of images. html how to #their pinterest boards are disabled at the moment because i need to make them look good before i share them #and most tags don't work yet because i'm too lazy to go back through my whole blog and tag almost 2 years worth of posts 😭 #going to christen it by reblogging one of those dress up your sim prompt ask games #if i can find it #and then i'm going to get completely stuck into rufus and sawyers gameplay yessss i can't wait #leaving virgils gameplay forever i think because when rufus and sawyer have a kid i'm moving him in as the babysitter #would you believe me if i told you there is 0 cc clothes in this #i've fallen in love with maxis clothing recently idk what happened to me #besides roxys boots and virgils bag its a vanilla lookbook #thank you to everyone who voted on the poll yesterday btw #even though it was 50/50 the majority of the time it was up #it ended up 60/40 after an hour tho so i went with my fav macmahon lifestages instead of young adult stages! #goodnight <3

[punctuation-completionist]

Holy shit I thought I'd seen the worst and laziest gimmick blogs already. Congrats on setting the bar even lower.

@#$_&-+()/*"':;!?,.~`|•√π÷ק∆£¢€¥^°={}\%©®™✓[] get a fucking job

jokes on you asshole, i am in school most of the day and have multiple hours of homework every night. i just ride the bus for two hours to and from school and know how to use a queue

and you? do you understand how much work i put into this blog? how much i've learned about various punctuation so that i—with time i could easily use doing something else i might add—can tell people about things that i find interesting? i doubt it because you just have a hate filled heart from what i can see, picking on blogs that you find lazy because you can't even bother to dig.

i would have just left this in the inbox; but i really do feel like showing everyone what a fool you are. i mean, come back when you know all the brackets and dashes and have read at least one book about punctuation and then you can talk about who's the "laziest gimmick blog"

and no, i am not justifying that keyboard smash of an attempt to get more punctuation. if you want to talk about lazy bud? take a look inwards, perhaps.

#ask tag #not counting #sorry guys for posting this i am just kinda irked that someone could do the laziest thing for punctuation and then accuse me of laziness #also. get a job? really? i am a student and i am already busy enough as is dude. and the only time i get to work on this stuff is like #when i am having bad executive dysfunction or i am hyperfixating on punctuation again or when i am on the bus #feel free to make fun of this asshole in the tags. they fucking deserve it. #laziest gimmick blog... i mean. okay? like i am not particularly unique? why me and not like. ampersand counter or whoever #yet again #sorry for putting this on your dashes. i mean i won't queue it because i don't think it should take up a queue slot #i just really want to show everyone. what an idiot #legit if this was a low effort blog‚ why would i have read so many books and academic papers and blog posts from specialists? #anyways. get on with your days. maybe after laughing at this chump who doesn't understand like. basic decency

[royalarchivist]

I really liked Ramon's idea of filling a tag with cute little things for Fit's birthday, and I was like "Hey, I got a bit of time to spare today, I can whip something up real quick. Surely I don't have THAT many clips of Fit!"

Well...

#mod talk #head in hands #I don't even think this is all of them this is just ones I've remembered to tag with Fit's name #I've been archiving since last April. I've got. A lot of clips. Which I should probably be putting on an external hard drive at this point #Anyways re: the video; I've whittled it down a lot and it's still almost 5 minutes long #I am NOT going to post a 5 minute long video I'm cutting this thing down to like. 3 minutes MAXIMUM #I don't think anyone would watch that and frankly even 3 minutes is pushing it #I liked the last big compilation edit I did before recent events made me unhappy about the subject #So I'm mostly doing this for my own sake and for fellow fans because I think it'll give everyone a laugh #also Ramon because his admin is a sweetie for thinking of this #anyhoo. ya boy's real tired but putting these things together is pretty fun #it's time consuming but tbh the hardest part is just the subtitling. It's just super tedious and time consuming #the rest is fun even if it's also a bit time consuming #I try to keep RA pretty light on textposts but I think it's fun sharing behind the scenes notes about what I'm working on

[front-facing-pokemon]

#this one's like a fucking mystery. who's that pokémon?? what pokémon is this?? you can't fucking tell unless you open the cut or read below #where i tag what pokémon it is. i think i'm gonna put this one's tags above the actual name of the pokémon just to throw y'all for a loop #because this one? i don't even KNOW what counts as front-facing. i'm ASSUMING it's the top one?? but the prey eyes are just #unbelievable so i included that one under the cut. i don't even know if i can consider that “prey eyes” at this point. what is this thing?? #what's the thing protruding?? a mouth?? it doesn't lend itself to making it look any more like a moon! it just— it just protrudes!! #i really just don't understand. what or why this pokémon is or exists. what type is it? pure psychic? #nnnNNAURP rock/psychic. can't believe i forgot about the rock typing considering the way that guy with the solrock in swsh #raid battles used it. whatever i think i've successfully revealed what pokémon this is by now #lunatone #and yes‚ i know now that zangoose walks on all fours in pmd. THANK YOU!!! FOR TELLING ME. EVERYONE ON TUMBLR #i got it when the first person told me. i looked them up. i saw them. with my eyes. i feel like i've talked about pmd enough in these tags #and in asks that i've answered that you all should know how much of a pmd fan i am by now but i guess it's GOOD TO CONFIRM #perhaps no one really does read these tags. unless they have an opportunity to correct me. lasered in on that #i'm not like mad i'm just like WOW everyone told me. that is SO many people telling me after the first one did and i know SO hard #anyway. i'm gonna go remove these tags from the dusclops post. pphhhheew

[bluastro-yellow]

get it Kim has a lot to unpack do you get it

it's imperfect I'll never polish it just take it as it is

#I don't know how the hell to draw kim #PLEASE gib me feedback #pretend the dialogue is better this is all I can do lol. but you get the gist of it #aaa give me constructive criticism. the other post about kim secretly being a loser made me think about what his apartment would look like #and this popped in my head I had to draw it #is this in character? #there's no eyebrow battle because in my head this happens some time in the future where kim opens up a little more easily #at this point he trust him with his secrets more (but not completely. harry's not touching the blue box today) #but it's a mixture of ''maybe if I tell x he will stop asking for more'' and real trust #but like do you see that happen #it's a secret because he doesn't want other people to learn that insisting can work #like I said in the tags of the other post I think he never lets anyone in to the point of avoiding calling the plumber even if the sink #has been broken for months #addition: fuck I should have putted more machines in there. I couldn't think of anything else other than radio controlled airplane #and a sewing machine. he must have more stuff like the camera. #he'd have some dangerous thing to warm the room #and nerd stuff. I'm not sure if he'd display it or keep it boxed somewhere #disco elysium #that's a convertible couch-bed if you can't tell. half covered with the Pile #pointless microblogging #it's so hard to draw them right they look different in every official thing #believe me I have tried #idk how to put more of the skills here :/ #I have achieved peak kimharry brainrot I can't go back

[widowshill]

— But it's almost midnight. — Oh, that's the point! At the stroke of twelve, he turns into Dracula. C'mon, Vicki – he won't bite.

pose ref.

#dark shadows 1966 #victoria winters #roger collins #➤ roger collins & victoria winters. ┊ pain sometimes precedes pleasure，miss winters. #vamp roger au tbt #➤ roger collins. ┊ I and my ghosts want a drink. #➤ victoria winters. ┊ because she’s lost and lonely. because she looks in shadows. #➤ edits & art. ┊ the evans cottage art gallery. #art. #i always feel a little apprehensive about putting r/v things in the general tags bc i know that's not everyone's cup of tea but. #if r/v squicks you out and you don't have me blocked idk why lmakldfgfg. that's what we do here. #well! did you know that the moonflower is a highly poisonous and psychoactive flower that belongs to the nightshade family #and can cause respiratory depression arrhythmias fever delirium hallucinations psychosis and death if taken internally. #and they are night-blooming and pollinated by sphinx moths. much to think about. #scenes from the vamp roger au that i've been plotting with tortie and have only posted like one thing about but. anyway. #should be making violent love to you behind a palm tree etc. but the moonflowers in liz's greenhouse will have to do. #yeah yeah yeah we've all heard about his more famous triangular cousin but what about the real collins vampire huh. #who was here in 1966 draining years off another man's life. who spent ten years in a coffin (augusta) and came back wrong. #who knows nothing but a habitual; driving; consuming thirst. #who feeds on the youth and innocence of his governess – of his sister's hospitality – of the shelter of the collins blood. #who prefers; instead of living; to bury himself in the collins tomb. #who creates not biological sons but makes other men into monsters just like him. #also lou was really hot as a vampire for 0.5 seconds in hods.

[jerrythebug]

It's WIP Thursday on a Sunday babes!!

#Jerry's wip gallery #I'm not tagging anyone because I don't want to be annoying with my wips. i already feel like I'm posting too much #tw // blood #I'm trying to render this Max portrait really good for some reason. i need to find a better detailing process cause it's miserable #probably should watch more painting vids on yt. or tutorials maybe. for now though I'm winging it and it's a pain #but also maybe i am learning? i sure hope so! #also I'm working on a little fake-cover for boostle 100-page wedding special that's coming out never! yay! #i don't think i will ever finish it and I'm constantly adjusting the poses but also I've put so much work into it already #that it feels bad not to share you know? #also for a good cover I'd need to draw a backround for which i have no ideas so that's gonna be fun! if i finish that call it a miracle

[keeps-ache]

HEY

#art #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #oc #pink space #i really like the subtract glitch i've been doing recently - so here's some of that again lol :3 #the way it interacts with their palettes is so fun i like it a lot ehegh :33 #//anyway do you ever consider just tossing out any part the human body you've learned to draw and just drawing dumb little guys with arms #like pipecleaners forever or what hfhs #//oh this is was doobled in traditional originally #i need to digitize more of these. Because #though aura's hair was more extreme in the second panel in that version - i'm tired though and 3 days ago it was the same so no feelings to #change that lol :) #also i didn't shrink the noise enough so it didn't look right - and i was not going to reimport it so Bon Voyage my dude hfhs #was Supposed to fit on a 900x900 canvas but i made the panels a liiiiitle bit too big so it's 950x950 #which is Fine it's a round number but it's not a Round-Round number so [gesturing] #1000x1000 was way too big for this little thing so she sits at a pleasant halfway point :> #//anyway i was also up til 3 a.m. last night doing ?? something ?? i genuinely don't even know what lmfhsbvh #nice though maybe my brain'll get a reset lol :3 #stay up really late some random nights and jumpstart your brain!! it's foolproof!! never fails!! [<- these statements have not been reviewe #by the FDA or the Center for Sleep Control] #//ANywho now i'm going to be on my way #/oh i also forgot to post the oath n aura refs i made for artfight lol- #i'll prolly put those up w/ the kira and hid ones though :>> #i like to have the whole ensemble :D i Do feel bad when one of them gets left out hghsfh - like forgetting a stuffed animal somewhere #even though they're all together for small portion of the story it still feels off lol #i should prolly introduce the rest of the cast at some point. .... ......... ..........hm yea prolly. maybe one day hfhs #//anyway NOW i'm going i've run out of tag space i think hfhs - toodles !! :>

[andthebeanstalk]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

Better accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues should suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things!

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to take to cut your awkward self some slack for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

#social skills #i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag #original #maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title #in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You' #or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am #challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong. #and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment #for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the #most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than #most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny #(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility. #and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by #being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating #i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate #I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity. #when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to #really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would #go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people #it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party' #it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them #stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!' #I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in #order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially #autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules #and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules #but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!! #i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird?? #I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind. #also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too

[katyspersonal]

Who is your favorite Elden Ring character?

Oh man.. This is a very hard question to answer because I love a LOT of characters for their own reasons, and it is really hard to pick one. You might as well send me this ask again every weak and there's a chance the answer would be different every time, too, because my thought process and personality are not stable either! (don't actually send it every week xD)

In general, I can learn to love every character after peering very deep within their being and discovering their potential (or nurturing it), but some characters still stand out and have been stable enough as favourites! That'd be Melina, Ranni, Goldmask, Sellen, Nepheli, Alberich, Yura, Eleonora, Ensha, Malenia (+Millicent), Godwyn and Vyke! I am sorta waiting on Miquella/Trina for DLC because I just don't know what to expect considering Martin's involvement!

I think Melina is the closest to what I could have as favourite character! My favs are more or less equally loved, but she left an emotional impact on me like no other character had before and that alone made her stand out already! Heck, I tag posts about her as 'wife' from time to time! You see..,

The full archive of EPIC AND VERY QUESTIONABLY SANE CONVERSATION is in this chain ( x ), but basically I've completely missed the point of Shabriri gaslighting us. The fact he was talking about burning Melina completely flew over my head, mostly because I didn't check right dialogues. The point about how there is no reason to fix the broken world and existence itself is a curse, however.....? (God I still fucking LOVE the "it is not my fault you jump into ‘hurr hurr but mass destruction bad’ instead of actually thinking" gem fdjhfhs). So, when my friends kept arguing with me I could not actually hear them!

And yet, everything changed when it was just Melina being sad with her voice even trembling a little bit if I remember correctly, convincing us to not inherit FF before the door to it, when everything clicked for me and I snapped out of it. There was something in her expressing her feelings on importance of life in spite of despair, pain, oppression and constant resistance that felt bigger and more important than any thoughtful conclusions on nature of life and world itself.

It is already very admirable that she makes a conscious choice to sacrifice herself for this world. It is not blindly following the purpose she was given, but she comprehends what she is doing and why, having a chance to live her own life now that Marika is absent but still choosing not to, so others could. There is no guarantee that Tarnished (or anyone) WILL make the future better, no way to tell what happens after she annihilates herself. She is motivated by hope for this world, and her trust. Hope is almost alien emotion for me, so I am impressed by the character that embodies it so much. And of course with the way she can kick ass, and how she asserts herself that her sacrifice is not OUR choice, I thought she was pretty badass.

All that is already hard qualities to compete with as they are, and they got strengthened by, without exaggeration, a bit of personal experience with the character! And then it gets MORE personal because, ironically, such an important character also dies in a unique way in Soulsborne context. Death is rarely a thing in Soulsborne worlds because of souls, planes of reality and timespace shenanigans, but Melina already had no body and thus burnt her soul. This is a complete annihilation without any loophole and backtrack, yet I don't even have the heart to meddle with this even in my imagination because this is what she decided.

#elden ring #melina #ask replies #I think she is the most stable one even amongst other stable ones #yeah ASS you can tell which characters I post about and reblog is not a good indication of who is my fav! #because again I am too comfortable reblogging from the same 10 people on my dash and don't go into fandom tag #I should but........ #as for 'personality' aspect this is complicated! #for example there were instances of me simping hard for Seluvis and admiring Rykard quite a lot or really liking Godrick and Shabriri #(hahaha the irrational one? the bad guys loving one? the evil one??) #but to put it simply the 'side' of me that loves those bastards is 'unactive' during me typing this ask reply #and I don't even know if it's unactive or straight up gone #yeah it is just DID / personality disorder moment

[xisanamii]

liu wei featuring his homie (gay) and homie (platonic)

#liu wei #moriyama yoshitaka #kagari erika (oc) #moriliu #salmon arts #if i put the fandom tags after five it won't show up in the tag right lmao #idk how tumblr has changed. whatever #i believe that the... unique way i write liu wei was the foundation for this rarepair because like. canon doesn't have much material #i took a lot of creative liberty with this man #apologies for any other liu wei stans out there #anyway erika and liu wei are like bickering siblings they will claim exclusive privileges to annoy each other #as for moriliu. well liu wei is a no-nonsense flirt and moriyama is a nonsensical flirt i think they're a perfect match personally #(this is the long way of saying liu wei is also a nonsensical flirt actually) #i adore everyone. sighs #knb #kuroko no basket #i don't remember which knb tag i used for my blog so i have to use both every time i post a knb thing i guess. cursed with organized chaos #i'm also listening to hakumyu in the background as i draw and despite it being an otome game there's a lot of gay moments here #also the erika shoving the xiaolongbao into liu wei's mouth is a redraw from four years ago #... old art should not be perceived here #but i am getting very brave with the hands lmao #it's been eleven years... my brain has accepted i cannot leave knb just like hakuouki #god i have a lot of drawing ideas with my yosenverse and vocaloid songs too #all my brainrots coming together