#not many ppl even remember they can be a thing too

[mostlikelytofangirl]

I see your "wrh will kill anyone who disrespects meng yao" and I raise xueyao :p

Ooooooh well played anon, yeah!

You are very right, that's another ship where anyone who is mean to jiggy will at the very least lose their tongue and that's canon :D

Villainous friends are so precious too, there's just something about these two gremlins plotting their silly little demonic cultivation shenanigans together. And I think it's freaking hilarious how the whole thing feels like JGY sees them as reluctant colleagues, while XY thinks they are besties :')

The only thing stopping this from being higher in my JGY ships ranking list is the fact that what this little guy craves just as much as acceptance and love (or even more) is safety and security in his position among the gentry, and that's something XY can't really give him. If anything, he is the one bringing the political influence to their thing

#replies #mdzs #jin guangyao #xue yang #xueyao #but I have to give it to you anon #not many ppl even remember they can be a thing too #and it's adorable in an Addams family way y'know #with xy refering to jgy as his friend even after he has left him for dead lol

[puppyeared]

save me old flipnote studio MVs.......

#im going thru old flipnotes i used to watch years ago and ouggghhg so many good ones #is twenty one pilots still popular.... do people still remember the TRNDSTTER and marble soda meme......... #its like im unlocking some sort of primal part of my brain and everything is coming back to me. one of my biggest inspirations as a kid #i still remember thinking the final transmission lyrics were the coolest thing and watching =TopHat= Bee and Melissa over and over #theres a very specific feeling of longing and nostalgia looking back and watching these again years later #especially when there isnt anything genshin or mcyt and instead its either fnaf undertale eddsworld or another obscure #interest... and not even fnaf sister location its like fnaf 3 and 2. its THAT old. and a lot of oc MVs especially pokemon ocs and furries.. #god but they were so creative u know. i still find it amazing ppl took this little lightbox animation on the fucking NINTENDO DS and #cranked it all the way to 11.. like if u look at the transitions and movement its so fucking fluid its insane..!! HOW DO YOU MAKE THE #CHARACTERS SPIN??? AND CHANGING CAMERA ANGLES??? and keep in mind youre doing this all with a shitty stylus #on a THREE BY TWO INCH SCREEN. you only get two layers you can go up to 29FPS and you only have 999 slides to work with #and 24FPS eats up a lot of that. absolutely insane it literally boggles my mind every time i think about it. AND SOME ARE EVEN FULL COLOR #i forgot how popular EDM was back then too...they were really good for timing beats though so you get a lot of MVs with #strobe last and marble soda. porter robinsons goodbye to a world was also popular with undertale and oc MVs. also a lot of vocaloid #someone made a flipnote abt the warner bros fnaf movie being announced EIGHT FUCKING YEARS AGO. it even used the stay calm audio from #the office.... i wonder how theyre doing now... i love you shitty grainy MV audio.. but i have mixed feelings abt the flashing colors #ppl LOVED animating the sans vs frisk fight. aishite and primadonna were also big ones they were SICK AS FUCK #lots of these inspired my old oc designs.. a lot of my characters had side bangs with one eye covered. animal ears and simple eyes too #now i kinda wanna try my hand at the marble soda meme cause i loved it as a kid lol.. i wonder if i should compare my old and new art here #UGHHHH IM SO NORMAL ABOUT NOSTALGIA. IM SO NORMAL ABT MY SCHOOL BOOK DRAWINGS WITH SHIBA BROWS #yapping #nostalgia

[stuckinapril]

loving the therapy vibes u have planned and i have 1 single piece of advice for u: the things you truly, sincerely, DONT want to say out loud, are the most important to say ❤️

got it, thank u so much my divine angel <3 i do have an issue w obscuring the ugliest things out of fear of judgment or being misunderstood, but if she's as good as my friend says she is she'll hopefully see through that and help me navigate it. i'm rly excited :)

#it'll also always hold true that the ppl i met thru tumblr will alwaysss be my first therapists omg #i remember being 19/20 & CONFUSED & coming here to talk ab emotional things and the ppl on here had so many helpful takes and perspectives #i always say this. and it's true. that tumblr houses many gargoyles who j want to make people feel bad #but i've also met some of the most incredible people ever on here and i am so grateful #def going to therapy a much more mature me than i would've if i didn't have this silly blog to dump my feelings on #also so many people in my life r on borrowed time rn <3 i'm trying to gain the clarity to see whos's worth keeping around #the first time i seriously considered therapy was when a few anons sent me their experiences w it #which helped destigmatize it a lot in my head and that's why i even took the plunge #am i too attached to my anons? yes. is it unhealthy? also yes. will i ever stop? unlikely. #we'll see IDK i'm saying sm but i'm very emotional and insane and can never shut the fuck up #🫂🤗🥰💕🫶

[taegularities]

being here has never felt this suffocating.. it feels impossible sometimes to continue

#i wish you'd talked to me about it instead of making a post with screenshots #because that was nothing i did intentionally... i didn't wake up thinking 'i will be racists today' it was a mistake i'm not proud of #i meant my apology and i said i understand when people are offended and that i'm sorry #i know it was wrong and i'm ready to learn from it to not hurt people anymore and idk why it warrants calling me a full racist #and i don't know how you saw that ask bc it was days (or yesterday? idk anymore) ago and you blocked me weeks (months?) ago #you'd have to actively seek that ask out or look through my posts if im blocked for you #and if it wasn't you but someone else who pointed it out for you idk how you guys got to the point of scanning my blog #if i ever hurt anyone im ALWAYS open to talking about it. i remember once using a word wrong and someone pointed it out on anon #and I've never used that word ever since #i would've immediately apologised and deleted that bit too if you'd texted me just one sentence a la 'hey that's so not okay' #and you did the same thing when i went alway last time... never communicating but going against me while so many others reached out to me #if i didn't see anything wrong about this thing now i wouldn't have made that post. im not scared of disagreeing with ppl #and i don't know what you want me to do? i didn't even know M when their thing happened and still felt bad for them.. me or those who are #defending me didn't go against M... how would you think it's the same people? idk man #idk.. i can apologise a 100 times and it won't be okay. and if i don't say anything im dodging the topic it'll never be enough no matter #what i do #reach out to me jords tell me what i can do bc i did NOT mean to ever hurt anyone and im so freaking sorry that i did #<— this msg especially to those who were directly hurt #idk what to do so you stop posting so many screenshots #if you want ppl to stop supporting me then...yeah idk guys stop supporting me — unfollow me it's absolutely okay bc i know that was #uneducated af of me #to all sweet ppl who reached out thank you i see your messages #i'll see all those that'll come too.. i just wont answer so no one drags y'all #thank you that's it #go ahead and screenshot this too. i can't do anything else anymore #also.. the only parts i edited in my apology were 'i didn't mention japanese' and 'i dont feel superior' which i did after waking up cos #my post was made at 5am after randomly waking up during the night #edit: stop sending my friends asks saying i deserved this. i never told anyone to defend me.. they CHOSE it and they're allowed to #that's it... thank you guys and ily #ill brb. not too long just a bit

[coolspacequips]

I think if all ppl can say about allura is that she's an obstacle to kl or that she's dead to be kl angst or that ppl shipping her w Lance suck then maybe just don't talk about her ever LMAO

#ppl will truly be like 'Lance is bi 😊 but yuck allurance is het trash' bi means liking more than just ur same gender fuck u lol #i love kl but i can't fuck w the fans too much at large bc they love to talk about k and l screwing on alluras grave if they remember her #just say ur hateful and go dont bring allura into this didn't the show treat her bad enough FUCK #at least l fans there's a 50/50 chance they recall dead dead out of the way of Keith allura with some kindness #but k fans it's a 75% chance they hate her and go out of their way to talk about how awful she is and gotta say i don't trust like that #u can dislike any character for whatever reasons but the optics on this are bad and the specific things they say are red flags fr #so many ppl say Lance is bi bc it's a popular fanon to explain he's a flirt w girls but we actually want him to be gay #instead of actually saying it bc they think he's bi... the whole fandom was/is specifically v biphobic #i hc everyone as bi and that means sometimes it's a mf ship but it's still queer like come on #anyway this is for no one I'm just idek bye #text posts #might just delete this I'm so tired 😫 #not even to touch on specifically the misogynior of it all #it's 2024 and I'm still seeing fresh takes that are the exact same shitty takes from years ago

[piplupod]

i dont understand when people say that when you are depressed all you want to do is isolate yourself, because while yeah sure I've experienced that to some degree, most of the time I would love to be around someone but I don't have anyone who actually cares or wants to help. all the people around me are unsafe. i dont have anybody who would just sit with me, who would listen and care, who would spend time with me without judging me badly for being unwell. i Want to be around someone who cares, but I don't have that, so I end up isolating to try to protect myself from further hurt while I'm already down and hurting.

#i do have a couple ppl online mind you #but its not the same. i need ppl irl. physically sharing a space with me #i dont know #everything hurts really bad today. i haven't felt this low maybe ever #actually no there was one time before now i can remember feeling this low for this long fjfkdl when new meds gave me dangerous side effects #no new meds this time! just a continuously growing pile of trauma and exhaustion and winter #i wish there was someone who cared and wanted to help. i just want to be in the same room as somebody else for a while #its so fucking stupid that that's too much to ask for. everything hurts a lot today #i just want to not be here fjgklf im tired and hurting and nothing is helping #I've tried so many things today to help and none of it is working #but i dont even have last resort coping bc of the holidays and arms will be visible at some points probably #so i have to stay clean but god. god. idk this is... not good. i wish i knew how to fix this #i just want to sit in the same room as someone even. just for like an hour. 30 mins. I'd even take 10 mind #mins* #but ... i dont have anyone who is safe and who cares. god this is so so sucks

[meowonhao]

soo crazy to me how in the last year with minghao, dokyeom, hoshi, joshua, junhui, and now woozi (idk if i'm missing someone) y'all are way too ready and eager to automatically throw them under the bus over something some random person (usually antis) said online and then like a day or two later when everyone comes to the consensus that it wasn't actually that big of a deal or even wrong/bad in the first place (which you could've figured out yourself from the beginning by just doing like. 30 seconds of research and exercising your critical thinking skills) everyone just moves on like nothing happened and goes back to being a fan/stanning them or whatever like you weren't just going with the crowd and shit-talking them 12 hours ago

#not even going to get into how so many problems arise from no understanding of korean/asian culture #and relying on half-assed and sometimes just straight up wrong translations #like cool you don't have to know everything about a culture or be fluent in a language but #that also means you probably shouldn't be speaking on certain things at all much less without even trying to look into it a bit more #anyways..yeah i'm sorry maybe i'm delusional but i definitely am going to default to trusting my idols #and then figuring out for myself if i really think they did something that bad or “cancel” worthy #before i'm about to believe some random twitter/tumblr/tiktok user and just go with whatever they tell me to think about something #and most of y'all don't apologize or clarify anything. just move on right after hurling the most abhorrent accusations against these people #who are people too in case anyone forgot #but then an idol kills themselves and everybody boohoo's and cries and acts like they just can't believe how this happened again #like it's you. you're why #and i can only speak on the last year of course bc that's how long i've been an actual carat and kept up with them to this extent #i'm sure other stupid stuff has happened before that too with other members #i just think if you're so ready to toss away your idols without giving them like any benefit of the doubt whatsoever you just need to go #i hate when i see this stuff too bc i'm usually only seeing the korean side of stuff and most of these things are such a non-issue here #bc people know better (not saying there aren't some crazy fans everywhere but) #then i see some dumb shit on tumblr dot com that either only has links to some dumb twitter thread #or i have to search for on twitter because again. i do not see stuff from int'l fans unless i am forced to or look it up intentionally #and just saying the timing of these things is always so calculated by antis and y'all fall for it every single time #this is all i have to say bc i just remembered the whole thing abt ppl trying to say hao was being fatphobic or something dumb #and then i remembered everything else and it just made me mad all over again lol #if anyone disagrees with any of this feel free to block me🥰

[sanstropfremir]

do you think newjeans is an sm group (or could very much be one)? i remember when they debut, a lot of the reaction was of that. which is only normal considering newjeans' ceo was a large factor as to why sm is sm.

people point out the members' visuals as sm but hybe is relatively a new company so what holds as their standard is hard to define for now. (taeyeon/irene + kangta/jaejoong/s*won as clear examples of an "SM face"). also, i sometimes forget that some groups are under hybe because there are so fu-cking many now and they're going to debut like 4/5 new groups next year. it literally does not make any sense to me.

other than that, i don't really feel like newjeans gives off an sm vibe? i feel like it has a lot to do with the training system and what each company emphasizes on. it seems that newsjeans is gonna be more dance-focused like all of the other hybe groups. sm groups usually have a distinct vocal color - despite being under the same company, each group holds their own.

slkdjflskdfjslkdfj they are NOTHING like an sm group. like you said, sm has very specific branding in terms music, sound, and visuals, and also in HOW they construct their groups as well. i said it in ask a long time ago, but sm is the only company where i can say that they have a distinctive methodology of how they assemble a group and who has what positions/fills specific archetypes. although a lot of their artists are what would be considered 'all rounders,' sm groups have very specific positions that artists are meant to fill according to how they are assigned and there isn't a lot of deviation from that in group context. there's very little confusion as to who the main vocalists/dancers/centers are. hybe has more of a.............egalitarian approach (well, that's what it translates to, i don't think that's what they intend) where they expect everyone to have an equal level of performance skill and bill groups as being 'performance' oriented, but then they don't have anyone else in a strongly defined other role. like how do you have an obvious main dancer when your whole group can sort of all pass as main dancers? how do you tell who the main vocalist is if you don't have any strong vocalists taking the bulk of the lines and exercising their park n bark privilege? i couldn't tell you what the position of any of the girls in newjeans is unless i looked it up, but i could immediately tell with aespa.

the only thing they have in common is that they have a similar approach to aesthetic branding, and that's literally bc it's the same person doing both.

#kpop questions #newjeans w #i know there are a lot of kpop fans out there but sometimes y'all come at me with 'things ppl have said' that i've never heard before #and it makes me go 'hm i guess i have curated my kpop based social media feeds very well' #feels like im peering over the fence of my garden like where tf r u guys hearing these things lskdjflksdjflsd #not to bang on about the importance of positions in kpop again but theyre SO important #they give you a baseline to establish about the idol without actually having to KNOW anything about them #the formula works! there was a reason every second gen group was shaped like that! #there def are still non sm groups that are formed based on old school positioning but not as many. like tan for sure #bc theyre literally just a second gen group in a fourth gen trenchcoat #and like. p1harmony? i barely know anything about them but i can tell what everyone is #oneus has a rep for being a performance group but they have clear positions still #even with a.c.e who's also a performance group its still super clear who does what #part of the problem is choreography also! 4th gen choreo is too intense now! #and it often doesnt 'feature' a main dancer in the same way that it used to #the vocal colour of sm groups comes from yoo youngjin! he's their original vocal trainer and he's probably sm's oldest employee lol #and a lot of the 'typical' sm songs were produced by him #most other companies don't have as distinctive of a vocal presence bc they just havent had the time to establish it #also important to remember that hybe has bought out a bunch of preexisting groups and there's no way to maintain consistency that way #text #answers

[zemnarihah]

also we got chinese food the other day and they gave us fortune cookies but the fortunes were all shit like "a tree stands taller when the bushes are trimmed" and had had manscaped.com on the back i think that should be like. illegal im not joking

#i want a whimsical blurb of meaningless wisdom not for you to tell me to shave my pussy. die. #i dont remember the other ones but they gave us 4 fortune cookies and they were all thinly veiled metaphors for shaving ur pubes. #and they all had manscaped on the back #btw im not even blaming the restaurant or anything bc it was a local place but i do think that the ppl on the manscaped marketing team shou #serve jail time for that. and for many other things they have been one of the most annoying companies for a long time but this is a bridge #too far like is literally nothing sacred. can we not have little fun things in life anymore without being advertised to.

[mejomonster]

There are So many bisexuals in the world I can't take a Step without running into a bisexual, I can't believe when I was a teen people lied to me and said what I was didn't exist and there was no one like me, babes if you're bisexual I promise youre not alone and you're awesome

#rant #i just. now that im an adult #at least 90% of my friends are queer #maybe more. i dont talk to every friend about dating so maybe a few might be straight #i make new friends? also almost always queer #theres a lot of us and if you feel alone please know you dont have to be forever. there are more ppl in rhe world and more community #and where u go there will be somr ppl like you somewhere to find #(on a lighter note like. even on language study apps! or niche dumb reddit forms about idk some soecific video game) #i remember authority fogures telling me to 'pick' and that i was a sex obsessed freak etc every biphobic thing u can think #as a teen. and feeling alone and broken. at like 17 i found bi sites and lgbt help sites online and the queer community on tumblr #and felt much more backed up with facts i am real my feelings are feelings many other ppl have felt #and i could find ppl who get me. who would accept me and believe me and my existence #and like. now as an adult lol? i meet a person and mention an ex or my bi af writing lmao and they ask if im bi #and i am! and sometimes they say hey me too lol! and then wowza more friends! thats all #no more fear im yelled at or told biphobic shit. and now if i was for some reason #i can just go okay then i wont be yr friend and wont be chatting with u again thanks bye

[semercury]

*gripping the sink so hard my arms shake* I'm allowed to enjoy things even if others don't, I'm allowed to gain fulfillment even if others don't, I'm allowed to do things even if others don't, my happiness or enjoyment does not directly impact others', the things I do do not affect people in the way I think, I do not negatively impact others by simply enjoying things, i--

#stuff sarah says #its been four weeks since my last therapy session and i can tell...... #i just like??????????? pleaseeeeeeee im allowed to enjoy things #if anything it will spark joy in others and be inspiration to enjoy things #babygirl you are allowed to be happy even if everyone isnt #bc there will never be a time where everyone is happy #you gotta just do shit #sooo fucked up that i feel guilty for doing the most benign shit #youd think i killed my wife or smth by how haunted i am by my guilt #but like. i just wanna doodle or write and go back to college #but my brain is like hmmmm remember that one time four years ago where someone you dont even talk to anymore said they had a bad time? #yeah. youre a piece of shit if you enjoy smth they used to #like man i cant even wear fishy socks that i bought like 2 years ago bc im scared somehow someone will be mad #and the thing is. it isn't even just like ppl being mad #actually id feel a lot better if that was the worst thing i was afraid would happen #too many people being like 'your good fortune makes me feel bad about myself' for me to ever feel okay enjoying things #and ppl at work wonder why i nearlu had a meltdown when they got me a pizza i could eat when everyone got pizza 🙄 #like do not give me special treatment i will die or worse someone will feel bad #im going to fucking chew on drywall

[unproduciblesmackdown]

the most recognized as comedic song being the best part of the movie musical because the conventions that serve as a mode of communicating ideas, for example "people just bursting into song" or "choreography" or "'noticeably stylized' cinematography" that accentuates nonliteral nonrealism-invoking choices, are regarded as Silly or Frivolous. and the effort to shove everything else that's more "serious" into what is expected to be read as dramatic cinema that's not stylized in any ways that seem too "Genre" which only makes [but someone's singing?] underwhelming and out of place because no other elements are supporting it

#that plenty of Thee Establishment most concerned w/the commercial angle of musical theatre is also like ''musicals? is silly'' #or rather is forever defensive about this. all the musicals you know tonys will be comfortable with b/c they're gently ''edgily'' Serious.. #that old deh interview where p&p are like ''haha eugh we're not writing MUSICAL numbers musical numbers X'D this is serious this is real'' #deh as a living room play....like don't get me wrong. all Critiques / dunks on deh the stage musical even deh the movie...are not the same #all mine are better and wiser. but actually really for example like ''ben platt old?? he hair a joke??'' are criticisms i reject lol #wait a second does anyone in the Stage Musical ever do any more dancey choreography than they do in sincerely me....probably not #remembering the great times of that jared goldsmith interview where they were telling him to walk less dancily in ywbf lmao #taking some chassés across the stage....finally looked up if ''sashay'' is just a misheard + phonetic ''chassé'' & yes #anyways and just connect this all to the broader issue of Any ''genre(tm)'' understood as like. Unserious. style that is so unartistic.... #insert joe iconis talking about it. basically that if some Noticed ''unusual'' style usage is taken seriously it's presumed ''self aware'' #such that it may be like; parody of; commentary on; homage to whatever Conventions.... #like is a movie too associated with women as creators or audiences? some style choices that might seem to have some odd effect or w/e is #then just like wow guess this isn't good enough to be an experience i can completely intellectually disengage with as viewer.... #whereas if it's Not ''''gendered'''' so associated enough w/men as creators & audience (not much room for ''&/or'' there) then like #oh that perhaps somewhat awkward noticeable Style Usage? that was innovative; fresh; if it's funny it's ''clever'' rather than comedic #Don't Even Get Me Started on comedy also being an unserious ''easy'' too-Genre(tm) lesser style / way to communicate ideas #but i'm already started! it's right in the premise! ppl not even noting Sincerely Me has any material About anything b/c like #well it's Just Funny. jared & alana are Easy parts b/c they're so often Funny & set apart from the Serious Drama of parental angst #i actually haven't seen that many movie musicals but the ones unembarrased about themselves are superior #plus the idea of Worthy funny/noticeably styleized things as being Distinguishingly ''Self Aware''....the idea of Being Funny as either #being Unselfawarely the butt of the joke; or awarely deliberately Clever as what makes one superior to others; laughing At them surely #and i'm right back as well to what i was musing on re: the limits of billions' own language and in turn the limit of ideas if it cannot eve #express otherwise / beyond....that worthiness is awarded with this Dignity backed by the elements of the medium as tv's discretion #versus if someone's undeserving & unserious; or usually deserving/serious but is messing up & we want you to notice; then #they Will be beset with some humiliation; probably at least more proximate to being Laughed At; material may go out of its way to do this #another thing is that billions seems to have so little to no room for anyone having a capacity to be Silly #people Being Funny On Purpose is largely making references or pwning another character; both establishing competitive Worthiness #another shift from 5x08 onward like. rian truly able to humor herself is gone with her desk clutter #the fate of winston's =] ness is found in 6x01 when both quants are being funny until rian's funniness goes [abuse coworker] mode #that illustration that Hierarchy generates a Joke; at someone's expense. characters (& the writing?) Can't do otherwise to him or fathom it

[girlvinland]

I saw a comment on a post that was like “I can’t believe people over 30 use this app!!!” and I’m like 🤔 ???

#by bug #not trying to be like ‘kids these days arrrr’ #idk it’s just funny like most of us have been here from 2012 or maybe even earlier it feels like #this should be one of the least surprising things #considering it feels like a very millenial website at times #it’s just kinda been here for a while sorta like reddit #also you guys gotta remember like. people who are 30+ grew up with internet too? we aren’t like. boomers?? #it’s weird lmao #i know it’s kind of crazy I can operate a computer and a phone and even discord #also tbh a lot of older ppl these days like 50+ can be proficient with technology esp when so many jobs require that #maybe it’s harder for them to learn some things bc it changes so fast and they DIDNT grow up with it the same way #but it’s not like everyone is mom looking at phone like winnie the pooh meme

[bumbleblurr]

out of the hundreds of tf ships that have massive drastic size differences, like proportionally comparable to a building and a chihuahua, I manage to mainly care only about the ships where one of them is like. Just a head taller than the other

#its funny to me actually bc like obvious example here #blurrbee is just. bee is at chest height which like yeah thats p short if u considered it in human proportions but its still. normal #while other bee ships some of these guys can just hold him in one hand like an action figure #i. dont think i rlly have too many tf ships that have a crazy size diff #like idk... bulk/bee i guess. shock/bee also #slip/ba i guess. blitz/wasp . now im rlly trying to scrape the bottom of the barrel of ships im into ajdhflfjflhfkf #shruggies i just. mainly consider the dynamics between characters first before i even think about size differences #thats like the least important thing to me #but i know theres people out there in this fandom that ship stuff Primarily bc of the size difference like huh what huh #like ur not. even going to think about if the characters would have a good and/or interesting dynamic together #i cannot relate to this mindset at all. like girl i love character interactions and dynamics thats what matters to me #esp when ppl have some of the most. questionable ships just bc of the size difference #i remember reading a post saying ''i cant even remember most of these characters interactions in the show i just rlly like the size diff'' #one of the characters is literally coded to be a minor going through puberty 💀 #& the other manipulates them sometimes by taking advantage of his naivety 💀 #(Actually I'll say what ship it was . it was dino/cheets <:| ) #anyway its so fucked up how size differences can give ppl brain worms like that yknow :/// #🐝 could you repeat the last part? 🟦

[britneyshakespeare]

I don't even think of David Copperfield as a Victorian novel. I think of it like it's the Peanuts or the Simpsons

#text post #dickens #david copperfield #last week i was talking to some friends abt how i had reread david copperfield and it was the best thing that ever happened to me #and i was telling them that dickens is so good at physicalizing and characterizing ppl that i never had trouble remembering names #there are what over 100 named characters in that book? the cast is huge #the only one who never leaves the page for any interval is david himself #so many diverse settings and characters. and as soon as one opens their mouth #youre like oh i remember when i last saw you it was at yarmouth #it's so good!!! and most importantly it is SO FUNNY #every era in his life feels so significant and you can feel how much he cares abt his ties to ppl and places #as much as those ppl and places are constantly changing. #ned @sneez and i have been catching up and part of the message he sent me was #'im reading david copperfield right now. i believe that is a book that you really like?' #BOY DO YOU REMEMBER CORRECTLY!!! i havent even told him about my reread yet #i was too busy talking abt shakespeare. but oh i was gonna get to dickens

[daimoan]

i tried so hard to be kind and sweet and all of these things that are supposed to be good? and valued? but im alone again and i dont think ill ever not be

#if you recently asked me how i am doing. sorry #i do remember and value that. its just very hard to trust that as something i could ever actually lean on #like even to say that feels like maybe i am overstepping. so. yeah thats where im at haha #ive just gotten burned way way too many times at this point #forged in fire??? burnt to ashes #i used to think phoenixes were relatable but not really anymore #the vibe has changed completely #and really im on my way out. not in like a super depressing way im not about to kill my body but when i say #im transitioning to a p zombie its . not a fucking joke im done here #my support group of all things went to shit yesterday too so i really have nowhere to stand im just breaking breaking. breaking. breaking . #dissolving. dying. and im like kind of hurt that nobody even cares enough to know these things about me #but how can i blame people for not knowing that asking me how im doing is not enough #or like how can i blame people for not caring #ppl got their own lives or whatever idk how this shit works. #man im just so so so done. #my friend told me about some future worries today and i was just sitting there like man. how do you even. #talk like you will have a future #like anything matters like any of this is real #because to me it's pretty clearly not #i didn't say that shit to him obviously #id like to keep a friend or two around just in case idk #someone to go on a walk with #sometimes he asks me what i think about stuff #i like listening to myself talk. so i benefit from that #anyway the point of this post was that while im done being a self im also very fucking done being selfless #acting like i think i can help people or something. i cant. i dont want to. i dont care. #i just dont fucking care anymore.