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guacam011y · 3 years

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***SPOILERS FOR WANDAVISION EPISODE 6***

So I’m still processing everything but holy shite that ep was wild...

FIRST THINGS FIRST - WANDA, VISION, BILLY AND PIETRO ALL IN COMIC ACCURATE-ISH COSTUMES AND TOMMY IN A MINI QUICKSILVER COSTUME

PIETRO CALLING BILLY AND TOMMY DEMON SPAWN - GOD DAMMIT, IT’S MEPHISTO ISN’T IT? HOUSE OF M HERE WE COME

HERB ASKING WANDA IF SHE WANTED SOMETHING CHANGED

AGNES ASKING VISION ABOUT THE AVENGERS AND STUFF AND AT FIRST SHE SEEMED GENUINELY FREAKED OUT BUT THEN STARTED LAUGHING MANIACALLY AND I STILL DON’T TRUST HER AND AGNES BEING DRESSED AS A WITCH? AGATHA HARKNESS WAS A WITCH - COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT!

DARCY LOOKING OVER MONICA’S MED SCANS AND TELLING HER HOW THE HEX AFFECTS HER EACH TIME SHE GOES IN - IS SHE DEVELOPING HER POWERS?

PIETRO’S CORPSE - SCARED ME JUST AS MUCH AS VISION’S

MOVIES SHOWING IN THE THEATRE IN THE BACKGROUND - THE INCREDIBLES: A MOVIE BASED AROUND A SUPERHERO FAMILY AND THE PARENT TRAP: A MOVIE ABOUT TWINS WHO MEET AT CAMP AND TRY AND SET THEIR PARENTS UP

DON’T GO PAST ELLIS AVENUE - NOW I DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS A CONNECTION OR JUST A COINCIDENCE BUT ELLIS IS THE LAST NAME OF THE PRESIDENT DURING IRON MAN 3

TOMMY HAVING HIS SPEED POWERS AND BILLY HAVING HIS REALITY WARPING/TELEKINETIC POWERS - WELCOME SPEED AND WICCAN

A CALL BACK TO INFINITY WAR WHEN VISION EXITED THE HEX? SLIGHTLY DUSTING AND HE PROBABLY WON’T SURVIVE BEING OUTSIDE OF THE HEX - HE’LL JUST DIE AGAIN 🥲

I STILL DON’T TRUST HAYWARD - HE’S VERY SUS

DARCY BEING TAKEN INTO THE HEX WITH THE OTHER S.W.O.R.D AGENTS - HOPEFULLY WE CAN SEE THE OUTFITS THAT KAT DENNING’S WAS EXCITED ABOUT

I SWEAR THEY BETTER NOT STRAIGHTWASH BILLY AND TOMMY OR I WILL RIOT 😤

***FURTHER UPDATES***

So sit-com wise, it seems they were referencing Malcolm in the Middle as the twins broke the fourth wall and talked to the audience, like Malcolm did

However, the theme song has told the viewer to stop questioning the reality of Westview - which could be a little reference to Mystery Science Theatre 3000? - When Pietro first shows up in the title sequence, along with his name title card, the lyrics say “Though there may be no way of knowing who’s come to play” - Istg, I do not trust Pietro

Vision says to Wanda that he had to wear his Halloween costume because there were no other clothes in his closet, Wanda is trying to move the plot along and forcing Vision to play along

Evan Peters’ ‘Mom’ tattoo is shown, which is a tattoo he actually has in real life ! But could this stand for ‘Multiverse of Madness’ or some other red herring?

Pietro mentions to Wanda that if he had found ‘Shangri-La’ he wouldn’t want to leave either - Shangri-La is a real place on Earth-616 that was founded by a version of Vision

Tommy refers to Pietro’s speed as ‘kickass’ and then Wanda repeats that, saying ‘kickass’ again - Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Evan Peters (both versions of QuickSilver) were in Kick-Ass together

The ad for this episode was freaky af - the character on the beach who starved and decomposed could be a little nod to Indiana Jones, where a Nazi’s face melts in - and it could also be reference to Wanda being all alone and struggling to process her grief. The shark in the ad could also be Nightmare or Mephisto or just someone more powerful than Wanda offering her a new beginning with Vision or trapped her in some way - and is feeding off her magic? The flavour of the yoghurt is strawberry flavoured and strawberry’s are red on the outside and pink-ish on the inside - much like Wanda’s og costume and her magic being red 👀

Pietro and Wanda talk about their Sokovian accents at a point in the episode and how neither have them anymore. Wanda’s, as we know, has disappeared over the course of the MCU movies and Pietro’s just doesn’t exist - another nice little nod to Peter Maximoff from the fox X-Men films? Also, Pietro states that “I’m just trying to do my part, okay? Come to town unexpectedly, create tension with the brother-in-law, stir up trouble with the Rugrats (a 90’s cartoon 👀) and ultimately give you grief.” - in reference to the grief part, could Pietro be killed off again? Stir up trouble with the rugrats, being possible shards of the demon Mephisto’s soul, could this be Mephisto trying to influence them on a deeper level? It’s also many many common sitcom clichès

Pietro talks about how “I got shot like a chump on the street for no reason at all” - nice little nod to how Pietro was killed off unnecessarily and how we as a fandom still talk about how regular bullets shouldn’t have killed him

Herb is dressed as Frankenstein’s monster - Dr. Frankenstein created his monster and soon lost control over him, and he was created using electricity or lightning - much like Vision was created and brought to life by Thor using Mjolnïr to bring lightning down to his incubator thingy majig. Could this also be a reference to either Wanda slowly losing control over Westview or someone else controlling Wanda/controlling the citizens of Westview - we saw in episode 3 that Agnes told Herb to be quiet as it seemed he was about to spill the beans 👀

Vision goes towards Ellis avenue and is at a ‘crossroads’ of sorts - in folklore, crossroads are often used to speak to or summon the devil and are also used when an important character is making a decision that could change everything. He spots some citizens repeating certain actions and/or just standing completely still, could these be npc’s (non playable characters)? And now that the barrier of the Hex has spread, will those citizens now start to move? 👀 Also I know that all stop signs look like it, but the stop sign is also a red hexagon 🛑

Darcy scrolls through Hayward’s computer files and goes past a file called “Project C4-113” - it could reference Avengers Issue #113 in which Wanda and Vision both appear on the cover and she says she’s going to make the world pay for Vision’s death. There’s also another file called “Project M5-247” which could be a nod to Avengers Issue #247, which shows the origin of the Eternals and in the same vein, Scarlet Witch and Vision trying to help Captain Marvel. And when Darcy emails Hayward’s cataract plans, you can see the names of “James Alexander and James Gadd” - James Alexander is a visual effects producer on Wandavision and James Gadd works on post production at Marvel

Also: Agnes pulls as Mrs Hart and repeats the same phrase over and over again

After Wanda blasts Pietro, you can see on a fake grave stone the name of “Janell Sammelman”, Janell is a first assistant director on Wandavision

When Wanda moves Westview to save Vision, she turns S.W.O.R.D and it’s agents into clowns + a circus - I just love that the agents turned into clowns 😂 but there is a nice little plot line in the comics where Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver and Hawkeye join the circus - and this COULD be stretch, but earlier in the episode there is the number #22 which could be Avengers Issue #22, which is the Issue that they join the circus

As soon as Vision was brought back into Westview, he was healed - which means if he was to exit again, he probably wouldn’t survive 😭

The episode title is ‘All-New Halloween Spooktackular!” - which “All-New” is a designation that is often used on covers for comic books. And the first issue of the second The Vision and the Scarlet Witch series takes place on Halloween night - but the events in this comics didn’t influence this episode’s plot

Pietro points out that he has the “XY chromosome” - X for X-Men? Plus there’s the X gene 😂

He mentions “Uncle Peter to the rescue” - Peter is the name of Quicksilver from the Fox X-Men Franchise

Pietro and Tommy quote the movie Top Gun (1986) by saying “I fell the need, the need for speed”

Wanda almost seems hesitant to trust this version of Pietro (rightfully so, in my opinion) and is wary of him being around Tommy and Billy

Pietro says some very Mephisto/Nightmare-like things this episode - “Unleash hell, demon spawn!”, “The kids need a father figure”, “Damnit, if Westview isn’t charming as Hell...” - And if Pietro isn’t Mephisto/Nightmare, it HAS to be Agnes or her other half Ralph and Pietro is probably Ralph tbh...or could Pietro just be a scapegoat and Hayward is Ralph? 👀

The theatre in town, which is playing the Incredibles and The Parent Trap, is called the Coronet. There’s a classic poem called “The Coronet” written by Andrew MARVELL (Marvell, is also the true name of the first incarnation of Captain Marvel in the comics) and is about a guy who knows that the sins of mankind led to the death of Christ. He attempts to create a new crown for Christ’s head in an attempt to atone, but finds that there is sin in the crown as well, as the devil is within the crown and therefore he may achieve glory and success with his new creation 👀

Hayward’s confidential project “Cataract” included experimenting on Vision’s body, as was revealed by Darcy (my wife 💙 and Monica is also my wife 💚 and so is Wanda 💛, I just love women, you know? 😂). A cataract is a cloudy area in the lens of the eye that leads to a decrease in vision - is Hayward trying to weaponise Vision? Or maybe even trying to bring Ultron back? Or do what Tony wanted to do in the first place, and make a suit of armour that’s around the world? Either way, it’s for nefarious purposes

Who is Monica’s guy? Jimmy and Monica are off to meet him - could it be Reed Richards (Mr Fantastic)? Or could it be Victor Von Doom (Dr Doom)? Could it be Hank McCoy (Beast)? Or even Adam Brashear (Blue Marvel)? Or if it is a woman, could it be the Skrull daughter of Talos that Monica befriended at the end of Captain Marvel? Could it be Abigail Brand (A major character in recent S.W.O.R.D comics and an Alpha Flight Member)? Or even Toni Ho (Iron Patriot, and could she be introduced to help lay the ground work for my other queen, Riri Williams/Iron Heart?)? Or could it even be Sue Storm (Invisible Woman)?

In the background of the episode we see a number of children and adults dressed up as many different characters, which includes: Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat, Jason Voorhees, with a sweater striped like Freddy Krueger’s and even a kid that looks dressed in an off-brand Charizard costume 😂 Pokèmon has always been popular, but saw an increase during the 90’s

Pietro and the kids are drinking “Kane Cola” which could be a reference to the 90’s drinks “Jolt Cola” or even “Surge” - it could also, with all the X-Men Easter eggs, be a reference to Garrison Kane, who was a member of Cable’s mercenary team “Six Pack” and is sometimes also known as ‘Weapon X’

The kid that Wanda mentions having a “skin thing” in the orphanage - could that be a reference to her Brotherhood of Evil Mutants co-worker Toad? Or maybe even Mystique? Maybe Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler)?

One of the houses has a sign up that says ‘Macabre Mansion’ - another possible reference to House of M?

During a flashback, it’s shown that the twins are playing Dance Dance Revolution, which came out in 1999. Also this might be a stretch, but the boys have a dog plushie in their room the right - which is coloured red and black - could this be a reference to Dogpool? 😂

I love this show 🤣💙

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nad-zeta · 3 years

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Mochi Madness

Pairings: Vlad x Reader

Words: 2200+

Comments: Eeeeeeeek! Once more HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEEEMOOO! ❤☺hehe I bet we have all become far better at making mochi than we were with the first attempt lol,☺😳😳😳😳 Eeeek I'm super excited to see how our cheesecakes and brownies are going to turn out! whoooop whoooop even more excited to spend the day with ya ! hehe, hope you had a wonderful day neemo filled with all the candy, all the sunshine and all the sweetness! Sending ya infinity catbus hugs! hehe love ya lots! ❤❤😳😳

.*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ･’ﾟﾟ:。’ .*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ･’ﾟﾟ:。’･ﾟ｡.*:・’ﾟ: ｡.*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ･’ﾟﾟ:。’ .*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ

The month of July was not a particularly special time of the year for you, but for Vlad, it meant the world, for it was the birth month of his dearest flower. You had insisted multiple times to the man not to make a big deal out of the day of your birth, and after a bit of back and forth, a compromise was made. A morning spent making some delightful birthday treats followed by tea in the garden was the suggestion and one that seemed like an appropriate way to spend your birthday. Not too grand, yet intimate and memorable.

It was the early afternoon of your birthday, a perfect time to make some treats for tea. You were the first to arrive in the kitchen, so you decided to prepare yourself for the mountain to climb. You tied the pink apron around your waist, washed your hands and gathered the ingredients for the battle that was about to commence. Your kitchen had become a war zone, so to say, more so because of your severe lack of cooking abilities.

Your comrade—companion in arms— arrived in due time to lend support and as such, marked the start of the great birthday battle.

Vlad strode through the kitchen doors, taking soft steps as he carried a basket of precious cargo close to him. “Ah, just in time, did you manage to get enough strawberries from the garden,” you asked curiously, shooting a happy smile over your shoulder.

He returned your smile with a gentle one of his own, coming up beside you to place the heavy basket down, pulling the cloth off to reveal a mountain of strawberries. You let go of a gasp in awe. “I think we have enough strawberries to feed an army,” you jested with a playful elbow jab to Vlad’s side.

“I have no intention of sharing these with an army, only with you, my love,” came the light chuckled response from Vlad as he reached over to grab hold of a matching pink apron. It was the cutest apron, littered with bunches of tiny bright red strawberries— a gift from his last birthday— one which he cherished very much for the feature of his favourite food. Despite the airy response, you knew he was dead serious, especially when it came to his beloved strawberries. You shook your head with a smile, memories of past castle shenanigans flashing in your mind— of Faust and Charles stealing Vlad secret stash of berries and the severe punishment that awaited them for their crimes.

Your eyes drifted down to the recipe— it was one you had come across a few weeks ago while searching the library for a book to read. Mochi, it was called; you remembered researching the dish after it had been mentioned in a favourite book of yours. You were always curious about the dish. However, after the main character described the soft, chewy texture, you knew you just had to try the treat for yourself. Hells, you were so excited about wanting to try it out, that you had immediately sought Vlad out in his garden to share the discovery and to find out if in all his years on earth if he had ever come across such a dish.

With a shake of the head and a fond smile shot your way, he suggested that the treat be included as part of your birthday picnic.

It took a bit of searching and lots of researching, but thankfully, with Vlad’s help, the two of you managed to find a small recipe book that featured the soft, chewy dessert.

“Okay, first things first, we need to mix the rice flour and water,” you stated, tapping the recipe in thought as you read a little further to gauge the next few steps to follow.

Meanwhile, Vlad reached out to pick up the two bags of powdery substances laying on the table, crimson eyes scrutinizing the labels. He then turned to you, concern painted over his face, “What’s the difference?” he asked.

Your first obstacle had just arrived; you knew it was one that would come back to haunt you as even after you had found the recipe, one of the ingredients had never been heard of before. You and Vlad hunted far and wide for the rice flour when finally, one day when Vlad was on his way home from the flower shop, he spotted the very flour you required for the baking battle. The only problem was that that shop housed two types of rice flour. So Vlad did what any reasonable person would, he bought them both. It was a problem for future Vlad to deal with.

You looked over at him in confusion, which only seemed to grow when you investigated the labels yourself. “Surely glutinous rice flour and rice flour are the exact same thing,” you stated, stroking your chin and wracking your mind for any differences between the two.

“Let’s see what the recipe says?” Vlad suggested, moving to take a closer look at the book.

“Sweet rice flour,” he read aloud with widened eyes. How was there a third type of rice flour? You tried to decipher the labels for any indication, even going as far as to look at the sugar content hoping that one of them would be higher, as surely that would dub it as sweet rice flour? More sugar equals sweet, right? RIGHT?

After a moment of pondering, and investigating you smiled over at the man with a carefree shrug, “there is only one way to decide which to use.” Vlad looked over at you curiously, raising a brow as he waited for you to reveal your master plan.

”Cover your eyes,” you said with a widening smile and a hint of mischief, carefully taking the two bags from his hands and putting them behind your back.

Once his eyes were closed, you brought the bags forward and placed them down on the counter, keeping a cautious eye on Vlad to make sure he wasn’t peeking. With a satisfied nod, you quickly started shuffling the bags around until even you were unsure which was which.

With a tender smile scattered across his face, Vlad’s eyes twitched to open ever so slightly, if only to catch a glimpse of what you were up to. Unfortunately for him, you had eyes at the back of your head and caught him in the act trying to steal a glance, “Nuh uh, I see you peeking,” you squealed out, quickly rushing behind him and bringing your small hands up to block his vision further.

He tilted his head to the side, puzzled as to just what antics you were up to. As if reading his thoughts, you finally revealed your ingenious plan. “Since neither of us knows the difference between all these flours, we shall let fate do the deciding for us!”

He chuckled, shaking his head in amusement, hands extended out in front of him to feel around the counter until finally, they hit one of the bags. After a moment of patting around for the second bag, he randomly picked one up, “this one,” he smiled, turning to lock eyes with you.

You clapped your hands together happily, letting out a gleeful hum, “perfect! Okay, let’s mix it with some water!”

Without care for quantities, you eyeballed the amount of water thrown into the bowl with a satisfied smirk— you never were in the habit of measuring ingredients out accurately, much rather opting to follow your gut.

After the two ingredients were combined in a bowl, you cooked it in a saucepan until a blob of sticky goo formed. You removed it from the heat and set it aside to read the next set of instructions. “Knead,” you stated simply.

Vlad looked at the pot of goo dubiously, giving it a little poke, “is it supposed to be this sticky,” he asked with a troubled expression. Cooking had never really been his strong suit either, despite the years spent on the earth.

“I mean, the recipe didn’t say it shouldn’t look like this, “you responded with a confident shrug and an easy smile. You tried tipping the pot out onto the counter, only for the goo-like substance to remain firmly stuck to the bottom, causing an amused snort to come from Vlad.

“Interesting,” the white-haired man mused, using the spoon to help the goo from the pot to flop onto the counter. He split the mixture in half and gestured for you to knead one half while he took care of the first.

“Here goes nothing,” you said, apprehensive, not entirely sure what kind of end product to expect— as things stood, the pile of goo was neither light nor fluffy, just a sticky mass.

After several moments of trying to knead the glob, you finally broke into laughter, “this is not working,” you looked down at the ‘dough’, most of it being stuck to your hands, the other half stuck to the board.

Your gaze shifted over to Vlad, who seemed to be having about as much luck as you with the dough, but instead of kneading, he was playing with it like goop between his hands, “I bet Johann would like this, reminds me of one of his experiments,” he said with eyes lit up in childlike wonder.

Continuing on your crusade, somehow, you and Vad managed to get the sticky mass of goo into a semi doughlike blob. Left to chill for 30 minutes beneath a heap of cornstarch, you moved onto the next feat, ganache...

Easy enough, you thought scanning the recipe— how wrong you were— how very wrong indeed, as it was anything but simple. You glanced around the kitchen and gulped; Charles was going to kill you when he got home.

The mixing of the chocolate and cream was easy enough, but the shaping of the dark chocolate substance into balls? Now that was a separate feat on its own. After letting the ganache sit in the fridge for a few moments, you were ready to make up and fill your mochi.

A strawberry centre with a chocolate ganache covering. That was the goal, and truly the recipe made it sound so simple. Just make a ball out of the ganache and press the strawberry to the centre, covering it entirely with the chocolate, it said— it will be fun it said, freakin nope! What the recipe didn’t account for was warm hands and sticky chocolate melting and making a giant mess.

Even though the once-pristine kitchen turned warzone from the hurricane that was your and Vlad’s cooking, a smile never left Vlad’s face.

You had to laugh at your pureblood lover covered in chocolate, brows furrowed together as he tried his hardest to wrap the mochi dough around the ever melting chocolate covered strawberry. At some point, to motivate himself between mochi’s, he would pop the ‘flopped strawberries’ into his mouth, you know, to taste test and make sure they were still good.

After 5 successful ish attempts, the two of you decided to call it quits! With a wide grin, you snuck a glance over at Vlad, who finally managed to seal his first chocolate delight in the mochi skin. You clapped your hands and praised him with a ‘bravo.’

After carefully putting your newly made treat into the picnic basket, you turned to Vlad with an impish glimmer in your eyes. “You have a little chocolate right here,” you gestured to the man, startings of a cunning smile falling across your lips.

With a thoughtful hum, he brought his knuckle up to wipe the spot on his cheek, but it was of little use as you simply giggled and shook your head.

“Did I get it?” he asked, crimson eyes looking down at you with nothing but pure love and affection.

Your smile widened, turning Cheshire as you reached your tiny hand covered in chocolate to his face, to leave a playful smear, “nope, it’s right here,” you said, biting back the laughter that threatened to spill from your chest.

“A cunning one, I see,” came his response, with eyes lit up. Before you could jump back, he dipped his fingers in the bowl of chocolate and swiped them across your cheek with a smear to match.

Chimelike laughter filled the kitchen as you and Vlad continued to worsen its state with the third natural disaster of the day, this time in the form of chocolate finger painting. The end of the new battle was marked when Vlad leaned down to steal a kiss from your lips mid-attack. “Sweet,” he remarked with a twinkle in his eye, hand moving from your check to delicate take hold of yours.

“Happy birthday, Draga mea,” the words befell his lips, followed by another tender kiss on the forehead. You responded in kind by giving his hand a squeeze,” shall we go out and have that picnic in the garden? I am rather excited to try these mochis.”

“Anything for you, my love,” he spoke with an affectionate squeeze of the hand, leading you to your favourite spot in the garden.

#And that marks the end of the appreciation weekend #eeeeeek #Happy birthday to the cutest!#heheh and rip me for destroying vlad this weekend #vlad x reader #ikevamp vlad x reader #ikevamp vlad #eeeeek spoiler alert your brownies and cheesecake loook sooo damn good!#gaaaaah #hehehe i hope you had a good day neeemo!

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yolkyeomie · 3 years

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[blurb] — member: minho, word count: 2489, genre: e2l-esque/rockband au/female!reader/angst(?), warning: none.

note: this is a wildly out of character verison of minho so none of this is probably accurate to his actual personality. I was just tired one hand and this is how I saved myself

[11:30 pm]: “Lee Minho!” You growled. Despite the bustling energy of the dressing room before you had entered, your voice boomed over every single person within the walls limits. Those who were speaking quickly closed their mouths and others who were walking in and out slowed their hasty pace to a creeping stalk. Their eyes turned from each other to you as you stood in the doorway, hand clenched tightly around the door knob in an attempt to keep yourself calm.

Everyone could tell just by taking one glance at you that you were not here to play around as usual. The energy you exude was far too intense for anyone to even crack a smile at you. “Where is he?” You demanded, glancing around the room for the sly cat. “Where is Minho?”

“Here,” a cheery voice informed, nearly giving yourself whiplash as you turned around. There he stood right behind you, his signature black bass guitar slung over his shoulders and his mocking smile plastered against his face. Behind him stood his bandmates nervously glancing between the two of you, unsure of what exactly was going to happen next.

This scenario was something they had seen countless times before yet they still would never get used to the sight of you breathing smoke out of your nose and Minho only looking down on you with endearment. Your anger was entertaining to him, no matter how many times the out of you spat with each other.

“What? Is there something wrong?” He asked, his statement covering for his blatant ignorance, “did you not like the concert? But you had the best seat in the house?”

His condescending words easily began to fan the flame, eagerly watching as your face flickered from a look of pure bewilderment to complete wrath.

You knew Minho was doing this on purpose, yet you couldn’t resist the urge to explode. “Was there something wrong?” You questioned him, reaching out and grabbing the sterling silver chain that hung down his neck. Gasps fluttered throughout the room at your threatening demeanor as you spoke, “You really have the audacity to be asking that right now?”

“Hey, not here,” Changbin interrupted, “Not while everyone is watching. Don’t want a video of your fight to get leaked, do you?” He used his drumsticks to separate the two of you from each other, providing himself as the unprompted middle ground as he gestured toward the staff in the room.

Usually he would be all for watching you rip into Minho without a second thought, but there were too many people around to let it go unchecked. As much as he believed that the bassist deserved every inch of karma that was going to hit him, it couldn’t happen in public. They had a reputation to uphold after all.

The two of you looked around the room for yourselves, taking note of how the entire backstage room was crawling with staff members from the concert the group had held. As much as you wanted to give him a piece of your mind, you would rather not be labeled as the crazy person that barged in and caused a fight.

Begrudgingly you stepped back and away from Minho, just enough for it not to look like you weren’t going to attack him like some rabid animal. “Fine, I won’t.”

“Take it outside, somewhere private would be ideal,” Bang Chan added, whispering as lowly as possible so that any of the more... invading staff couldn’t catch him. “Oh, and don’t do anything stupid? Please? I kinda need Minho alive.”

“You heard the man,” The boy taunted, gesturing back to the band’s leader. “He needs me alive, so keep your hands to yourself this time.”

You didn’t think you could roll your eyes as hard as you did, forcing your hands to your side so that you didn’t actually harm him. The whispers and murmurs only continued to go as you led Minho outside of the dressing room, their voices drifting to your ears despite their attempts to conceal them.

“Is she some crazy fan?” “No, I heard she knows the boys personally.”

“Should we call security? What if she actually harms him!”

“I wonder what Minho did for her to act that way? Honestly, I couldn’t blame her… he’s a little patronizing and stuck up in my opinion…”

You shook off their words as the two of you walked down the corridor of the dressing rooms in silence, a stark contrast to the other staff members who were running about the halls to clean up the aftermath of the band’s concert. Every so often someone would stop to greet the two of you and ask what was going on, the sheer intensity of your auras combined quickly made them back off.

You were always the more approachable of the two but this wasn’t the right time for any of that to happen.

Soon the crowd began to thin out and for the most part, the two of you were left completely alone. The corridor you had turned down was practically a dead end so it was the perfect place for you to antagonize the bassist without running away.

“You said you’d help me with Hyunjin, to get back together with him,” you began, turning your sharp and annoyed gaze on him once again. “You said you’d get me tickets to your concert because I mentioned he was a fan of the band, so what was with that stunt you pulled on stage at the end?”

“I don’t think I understand?” The boy questioned, leaning up against the wall as he continued to feign ignorance like he had done in the dressing room with the staff. “I did exactly what you asked me to. I got you tickets, I got you the best seats in the house, I even got the other members to put his favorite song on the set list for this concert? What could have possibly gone wrong?”

“That song!” You exclaimed, “that dumb song you had created on your own but never released it for the band to play because it was about me. You played it right before the concert ended as the encore. Are you insane, seriously?”

Minho snorted at your frustration, clearly not taking the situation as serious as you were. “Are you serious? You’re mad because I played that love song without telling you? Come on Y/N, you really think he was able to tell that it was about you?”

You scoffed, almost laughing at his answer. A love song? You wouldn’t exactly label the song as a “love song”. “I understand you don’t think very highly of Hyunjin, but he knew Minho. There was no way he wouldn’t have been able to tell.”

It was so clear that Minho knew exactly what he was doing when he was on stage. As the band got ready to play their original encore song, you had caught him skipping around to stage to each member of the band. Starting discreetly with Changbin since he was the drummer in the background all the way to whispering to the lead guitarist, Jisung, near the front of the stage.

Once his words had finally reached the ears of Bang Chan, the leader gave a skeptical glance before his eyes connected to your curious one’s. He hesitated for a moment before putting on a strained smile and speaking into the microphone.

There’s been a slight change of plans in the encore, Bang Chan had announced. The entire crowd let out a wave of confusion as his dimples distracted their fans from his clear distress. I mean, who doesn’t like an unreleased song as the ending note?

The crowd let out a cheer for the change, not bothered one bit by the band switching gears to do something off script. Even Hyunjin was excited to hear the song that even he hadn’t known existed. Though both his wide smile quickly fell once the song began to play, its piercing and strong melody rang through the stadium as Minho strummed his guitar.

Minho had the most lines out of the other members of the band in that song, which was a stark contrast to his usual in the background singing. The boy was standing front and center, hands no longer glued to his guitar but clutching onto the microphone that stood before him. His voice boomed over the speakers as he sang to the crowd, yet his attention wasn’t on his adoring fans that were calling his name.

No, his attention was on you.

Minho’s eyes almost never left your figure as he zeroed you out in the crowd, his prideful smile growing on his lips as he poured his soul into the lyrics he never thought he’d sing in person. It was like he was sending a signal to you and Hyunjin, that the bond that you were trying to rekindle between the two of you would never work out in the end.

You’re mine, Minho’s lyrics conveyed, a meaning only you and Hyunjin could decipher, and I’ll never let you go to him.

“You can’t keep… you can’t keep doing this,” you struggled to convince him (or maybe you were trying to convince yourself?). “You can’t keep trying to interfere with my relationships! I’m my own person, Minho, I like other people! You can’t keep going on like this.”

“I can’t keep going on like this?” He repeated, in shock that you would even have the audacity to say that to him. Minho pushed himself off the wall as he approached you, his stereotypical vile temperament that his staff deemed him as showing through his usual cool head. “I’m not the one who keeps running back to the same person whose heart I broke every time we have a fight!”

Ouch, what a low blow. But it wasn’t like Minho was… lying? As much as you wanted to deny it, every time the two of you got into it you’d go running to Hyunjin afterward.

You needed something different from the constant fire and ice of you and the bassist's quarrels and that was exactly what Hyunjin was. He wasn’t the sheer cold of the winter storm like Minho was, just a pleasant breeze along a hot summer day. That’s why you were so drawn to him at first, that’s why you had jumped head first into a relationship with him, and that’s why you couldn’t exactly let go of him after you had broken up.

So despite Hyunjin being the better of the two, why was it that you only ran to him for comfort? As soon as he had given you what you desired you were back to trailing behind the band’s footsteps. You were back to walking and fighting with Minho.

“Do you really like him?” Minho asked, his tone a little harsher than he planned. Though he didn’t apologize for the attitude as he continued to speak, “Do you really want to be with Hyunjin again or is this an excuse to keep playing with me?”

“It’s…,” you hesitated, why must he ask this up now of all times? “It’s complicated, Minho! Not only that but it’s none of your business to pry into my relationship with Hyunjin? You’ve already done enough damage—”

“Y/N, tell me before I figure it out in a way you aren’t going to like,” he blurted out, finally snagging the words out of your mouth for good. What did he just say? “Do you really still like Hyunjin? Or are you just using him at this point, because it really feels like the latter when you keep hanging around me and not him.”

You stared back at him wide eyed, struggling to form sentences in your head and deciding to spit out whatever you could. “What are you talking about? You mean like use him to make you jealous of something? That’s petty, Minho, I—“

“One,” he began, reaching for the guitar strap on his shoulders to discard the instrument.

“How I feel about Hyunjin is none of your business,” you tried to argue. “See you’re even doing it again! Trying to force your way through when things don’t go your way. I’m supposed to be the one who is asking for answers anyway!”

“Two,” Minho continued, ignoring your rambling as he dropped the bass onto the ground without care.

“Fine, I like him. I’m in love with Hyunjin, are you happy now?” You answer, though the words feel foreign on your tongue as you bite at him. “This fights and bickering we do mean nothing to me, your stupid encore song meant absolutely nothing to me. So stop trying to press forward already.”

Minho stood in front of you quietly, his face contorting in disapproval as he tried to process your answer. “You’re so good at fighting with me but you’re so bad at lying.” He shook his head, amused disbelief donning his face as he took a hold of your shirt collar in the same motion you took his chain necklace. “Three.”

“Why are you intent on this, hm? You don’t like being the one who is toyed with instead of the other way around?” You hissed, snatching his hand off of your shirt with as much strength as you could muster. “All you do is take, take, and humiliate. Get a grip, Minho.”

The boy hesitated for a moment, hovering just inches above your face and his eyes darting around the room. He should have known that you still would have the energy to argue with him, that never ending flame in your chest that kept lighting the cigarette of your relationship.

“Y/N!” A familiar voice called, making you and Minho glance over your shoulder and down the corridor to spot a figure at the foot of it. You immediately recognized it to be the Hyunjin, the fool peering down curiously and a sheepish smile stretching across his face when he finally saw you. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. I knew you were backstage. I just didn’t know how long you’d be here for. Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, of course,” you respond, your tone immediately going soft as you shoved Minho off of you. The way you spoke to Minho and Hyunjin respectively was so different from each other, one would think that you were two separate people. “Just give me one moment?”

The boy nodded, giving an awkward wave toward Minho given the fact that the last time the two had interacted was the situation during the encore. Though the bassist gave no response as you turned back to him, your original rage replenished as you finally addressed him for the last time. “Don’t ever sing that song again. Not around me, not around your bandmates, not around your fans, no one. I want every bit of its existence erased from my memory.”

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hiswhiteknight · 4 years

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Unbelievably Outlandish– Part 6

Summary: Before starting down a new crossroads, the Reader goes onto an adventure of literary traveling. Suddenly tossed into an unbelievable story that has swept the world, The Outlander Series itself. How will a twenty first century woman survive?

Note: I own no characters, except reader, clearly this is based off the lovely book series Outlander by Diana Gabaldon and tv show. This follows more the tv show, but it’s far from accurate. I’m going to try to get better with using less proper English, but who knows maybe I’ll get into Scottish slang.

Sorry I’ve been away, I’ve been trying to get some balance and perspective. I’m hoping to come back swinging. Thanks for everyone’s supports, it makes it a real pleasure to continue to write.

Oh, at this point is when it might start slowly deviating from the tv show.

Pairing: Jamie Fraser x Female Reader

Words: 2300 (long!!!!)

Warning: Angst, playfulness, cursing, slow start, obviously fighting and such

Jamie was making his way towards the kitchen, thankfully you subtly slipped out, and found your way to the pair as Murtagh whispered harsh words to Jamie. You didn’t even look at Jamie, “This way,” you whispered harshly.

You led the gentleman to the space Mrs. Fitz showed you, where you were studying and trying to understand as much as you could about medicine. “Try not to hurt the man, lass, I think you’ve given him enough trouble,” Murtagh shared as he helped Jamie to the seat.

Looking him straight in the eye, stone faced, “Next time you think I’ll want your thoughts Murtagh, I’ll be sure enough ask for it.”

It was obvious he was doing his best not to growl or yell at you, “Watch yourself, she’s wee sized, but she’ll find you weak spot and have you on the ground real fast.”

“I expect minimum talking from you, sir,” you look around Murtagh to Jamie. He was biting back a smirk, “You are quite the barbarians, you know, fits and all.”

“Are men in the colonies babes, do they not know how to be a real man,” Murtagh questioned you again. Shooting him another glare, he quickly shut up, “Jamie, I’ll leave you with the woman. Best of luck.”

“Goodbye Murtagh, miss you already,” you wave at him. Jamie watched you in amazement, shaking his head at your antics. You shrug, “I think I’m growing on him.”

He still held his arm as you passed him something to drink, “Watch yourself, Deoiridh, Murtagh is a good man, but not all men are as nice as him.”

You were mixing some stuff you learned could be good for healing and inflammation, while pointing back at the door, “That man, nice? Where,” you question again.

He shook his head, “Trust me.”

“Sure,” he said.

You started to work on his face, trying to be as gentle as possible. He did do something quite honorable for a young woman, “Why did you do that, I could have handled it,” you whispered trying to focus on his face.

“I understand you are not familiar with our ways, but for an unmarried woman and a stranger,” he said while trying to make eye contact awkwardly, “like yourself, it would have brought you shame. I’m sore, but not really damaged. I would have done the same thing for the girl if you hadn’t stepped in. And the Mackenzie’s don’t much mind for outsiders getting into their affairs.”

“I don’t care what people think of me,” you answered back, “And I’m here, I exist in their affairs.”

He grabbed your hand to stop you, “I don’t know much about you Y/N, but I know I couldn’t sit and watch,” he was stopped my Mrs. Fitz coming in with somethings for Jamie.

“What you did was kindly meant lad,” she said to him, nearly crying. A part of you broke inside seeing her this upset. It melted your anger down to almost nothing. Jamie had let go of your hand, thanking Mrs. Fitz.

“Do me a favor, don’t get into any more fights. You’ve got a few days before this arm fully heals and I already have enough things to do than mend your ailments, sir,” you turn away to start cleaning up things around you.

“You seem to be quite the busy woman,” he said, standing up to look down at you.

Stopping to look up at his smirk. He was aware that his touch and close proximity was affecting your mood, “Yeah, so busy I might not be able to deal with you. If I don’t see you in two days, you should remove your bandages,” you answered him, not looking him in the eyes again.

“I’m sure I can manage,” he smirked some more. He stopped your fidgeting and avoidance maneuvers with hands by gripping your arm and forcing you to look at him, “But I’d sure not mind seeing you if you do find the time.”

A clank caught your attention, Mrs. Fitz’s granddaughter stood waiting an audience with Jamie, “Seems you have someone waiting to thank you,” you pull back from his grip.

“So it does,” he looked in her direction.

“I’ll leave you to it,” you say pulling a few things of yours into your arms. You took a step towards the entrance, before turning back to him, “Oh, by the way, your charm doesn’t work on me Jamie. I’m still plenty mad at you,” and you swung back around, hearing his chuckle from his breath.

The way Jamie made you feel unease, an unfamiliar feeling, you found it easy to force yourself to avoid him. Jamie was right about something; you were a stranger. Collum and Dougal were both suspicious of you, so you tried to find ways to get them to trust you. You had spent some time thinking about finding a way back to the rocks, but you were far from identifying a detailed plan.

In the trying to gain trust of the community, outside of educating yourself about potential, but sketchy ways of healing people and creating medical notes for your own survival experiences with your outdoorsy brother and the military.

You gravitated to the children and the woman of the people. Often you were showing the children how to better their fighting skills and how to create weapons, especially the girls. With the women, you peaked some of the more progressive women to learn some self-defense and battle strategy, but mostly you tried to educate them in how to read people. The one day, you made Mrs. Fitz laugh by predicting Angus tripping over the wood by the fire and deciding to drink to help his wounded pride, “Hope you’re not a witch,” she laughed.

“Mrs. Fitz, I’m just good with people. Witchcraft is something that takes much more strategy and imagination,” you grinned at her, before passing Angus another cup of mead caused Mrs. Fitz to laugh again.

Outside of trying to educate the community in swords play and self defense, you have gotten closer to Collum. He clearly was suspicious, and he relied too heavily on you when it came to medicine and healing. Often it made you think of your brother, he could heal nearly anything from anywhere. You remembered how your brother helped a puppy left in the woods to die because it’s inability to walk on its own. Some of the small gestures he did to help the puppy, like massaging its legs and back. You thought of this when Collum called you to help ease the pain of his legs. You were just lucky that what your brother taught you work. Human bodies and nakedness didn’t make you uncomfortable, especially when regarding science and medicine. It was nice to have a purpose and learn something new.

With yourself getting comfortable didn’t mean there were not difficulties. Unfortunately, that came with the unease of being a woman from the 21st century in an era of no women’s rights. You got shouted at for just wanting to wear a pair of pants. And quite a few gentlemen enjoyed the fact that you were an unmarried woman, which made you incredibly uncomfortable when they sought your affection or attention.

At this current moment, you found yourself getting ‘the lean’ from Dougal, “You seem to be finding yourself a home here.”

“Of course, but not too comfortable,” you mumbled to him, drinking some of the rhenish. You never quite got the hang of drinking, but during these uncomfortable times it was making it easier to cope.

He nodded, “Right, you’re waiting for news from your brother. Collum mentioned you tried to send word for him at the colonies.”

Looking anywhere but at him, you tried to pull yourself from this situation, “Yes, I hope to hear back from him.” You paused to choose your words wisely, “I’m going to try to get closer, excuse me.”

You sit on a bench away from the wandering eyes and whispers of the hall. Mrs. Fitz’s granddaughter sat next to me, “Hello, I’m Y/N O’Mulligain your grandmother talks very highly of you.”

She sent you a smile, leaning in to whisper back, “Laoghaire Mackenzie, I never got to thank you for trying to-.”

You stopped her with a wave, “No, no need,” you both looked towards a figure entering the hall, “That’s the man who gets all the thanks.”

“Yeah,” she gushed in a whisper, “I just wish he had eyes for me.”

Jamie made eye contact with you, making his way in your direction, “He is quite the charmer, Mr. Mactavish.” You look back at her, “He’d be stupid not to like you, you’re quite beautiful.”

Jamie interrupted your conversation by sitting in between the both of you. He greeted you both before turning his attention to the musician who started to play. You had done such a good job avoiding your feelings of hatred, annoyance, and something else with Jamie. And because Laoghaire sat next to you, you were stuck with him sitting next to you. You leaned forward, continuing to drink your rhenish. It was quite beautiful, if only you could understand what he was saying, “Do you not like the music Miss O’Mulligian,” Jamie asked you, trying to read your facial expression.

You leaned back, “Oh no, it’s truly lovely. I just focusing on the words, wish I knew what the song was about.” There might have been other motivations to looked focused and uncomfortable, but it was mostly true.

Jamie started to explain a little about the musician when Laoghaire tried to prompt Jamie to talk to her about their past, “No, I don’t think so. Still, I wouldn’t be likely too.”

You glared at Jamie for being so dense, “But look at her now, quite the enchanting young woman,” you point to her.

He glanced at her, “Aye, she’s bonnie.”

Eventually you got quite focused on the music, sighing, and holding your hand to your face in amazement. You couldn’t quite hammer out why you were acting so strange, besides the point that you could feel the tension from Laoghaire and Jamie’s presence next to you, “That Collum’s rhenish?”

“Sure is,” than it started to hit you. It was quite easy to drink, but it was starting to get to your head, “I think this is my second, maybe my third, but I’m fairly sure my second. Would you like it,” you offered it to Jamie, trying not to laugh at the awkwardness you were feeling.

“Most people wouldn’t be standing by their second,” he took it from your hands. When the song finished, you struggled not to roar with applause and shout like you were at a hockey game. Jamie stopped you before the next song started, “Miss O’Mulligian, remember discussing the bandage it’s been bothering me, would you mind taking a look at it,” his whispered.

You leaned back in shock, “You can’t be serious, right now,” you question. He nods, “Fine, but if I never get to see this guy play again. It’s your ass Mr. Mactavish,” you mockingly say his name. You get up and make your way to your workspace, trying not to grumble with annoyance. You put most of your focus on the walk to your work area, though for some reason it was not as easy as you remember. Thankfully Jamie was leading the way, which made you remember the time he tossed you over his shoulder. Before you could complete that thought, you were there, “Let’s see it,” you point to him to have a seat on the table.

“I don’t need your help,” he grinned at you, “I thought it was best to get you back to the surgery while you can stand.”

You lean against the table, letting a laugh out, “Oh,” you answered him, “You think I’m inebriated, you might be right,” you chucked again, “I thought about jumping on your back on the way down here and making you carry me.”

“You can hold your own,” he said, stepping towards you to lean against the table with you, “But thought it’d be best to be safe.”

“Thank you,” you knew he was right and that it’d be best to get to safe place before you made a fool of yourself. You glance at him gain with your heavy eyes, “Surprised you haven’t moved the bandage.”

Sending you another smile, “Scared about what you might do.”

“Smart man,” you answered back, “While you’re here, let me look at it,” you spun to look at him. He didn’t much move, he just gazed at you as you undid his shirt. You felt like you were suddenly on fire and with the alcohol is was become harder to fight the urge and attraction to Jamie, “You should pay more mind to Laoghaire, she like you.”

“Aye, she is a nice girl,” he said as he watched you maneuver around his clothing and bandage, “Why do you mention it.”

Ignoring his questions, “It looks just about right,” you cover it up again, “I’d say in a few days you can remove all this.”

“As you say,” he took a step back, cutting a smirk away, “I didn’t realize you cared so much about my affairs Miss O’Mulligian”

You rolled your eyes and stomped a foot as you walked around the table to get your things in order before you go to sleep, “I feel for the girl Mister Mactavish. It has very little to do with you.”

He looked towards the door, then back at you, “Right lass, if that’s the case. I’ll be off. Good night Miss O’Mulligian.”

Part 7

Taglist: @doctorwhatwhenandwhere @damnedandbroken @blushingpogue @blancastans

#Outlander #outlander imagine #outlander fanfiction #Jamie Fraser #jamie fraser imagines #jamie fraser imagine #jamie fraser x reader #jamie frazier x reader

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oldmanlenz · 3 years

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Mun stole this because it looked fun to fill in, so here it is-

Full Name: Billy Lenz

(Note: the name 'Billy' is actually a nickname for William, however I don't want to be 100% accurate in here with identities. Plus I feel like Billy doesn't identify with the actual William name, if you call him that he'd become inconsolable, no doubt in my mind he'd become aggressive too.)

Nicknames: Billy, Bill, Bee, mr. Lenz, mr. Billy, the old Moaner, old man, senior citizen

Place of birth: Good old Toronto, he was born there and he will never get out, not that he wants to. It's unspecified as to exactly where, city/hospital-wise he was born, or if he was born in a hospital at all, the old man can't recall, he's unsure if he even lived in Toronto already back then or if his family moved.

Current location: Toronto. He'll most likely never be able to leave Canada in general, long bus rides stress him out and airplanes scare the shit out of him, he would definitely end up vomiting multiple times on an airplane.

Sexual/romantic orientation: gay gay homosexual gay

Preferred pronouns: he/him and it/it's, mainly. He doesn't care much really, people assumed he was a woman on the phone multiple times too due to his voice impressions.

Sex: yes

Gender: manly man with horrible lifestyle choices

One personality trait they’re proud of having: Close to none. This man is quite ashamed of most things he's ended up becoming.

Defining gestures (i.e. lip twitching, keeping eyes on the ground, etc.): Often fiddles and fidgets with his own (sometimes very shaky) hands, twirls the cord of the telephone when using it to speak to someone else, often holding onto his own gut, tugging/pulling at his own skin(usually from his hands or neck) rather harshly, or gripping tightly at his own sweater(usually when nervous).

(He doesn't exactly have a gentle grip no matter how hard he tries, so he sometimes ends up hurting himself on accident by either squeezing his stomach too hard or have what little fingernails he still has dig too deeply into the skin.)

Speaking style (i.e. fast, loud, stuttering, etc.): A lot of times he just talks gibberish(especially over the phone), and another noticeable thing in his speaking is his stuttering in most sentences he manages to get out of his mouth. Other few times he talks so fast it can come off as gibberish to others.

He's not always a loud talker, he doesn't scream much nowdays since it hurts his ears(when he was younger he was not in a lucid state half the time, so, while screaming did hurt and stress him, he physically was unable to force himself to stop, which stressed him further), but he usually still raises his voice over the phone. Other than that, he keeps his voice on a moderate level, sometimes a bit too hushed.

Insecurities: A lot, going from physical, to social, to delusional.

Positive traits: He's very accepting of things, especially more 'modern' terms and such, even when he doesn't fully understand them, he welcomes it. Besides that, he's quite clever too, despite how out of control he used to be, he was and still is able to find out some kind of way to weasel around what he does.

Negative traits: He's got...maybe a bit too many, his impulsivity being one of the top ones, since he still sometimes acts on impulse without properly thinking about what he gets himself into. He's always been a tad egocentric/selfish as well, over the years it went from being a more reasonable sort of self-centered thinking, mostly due to him being homeless and resorting to breaking into people's attics to get warm back then, to a slightly more childlike one now, choosing to continue to break into people's houses for shits and gigs(and if he gets caught he panics, like a child who just got caught with their hands in the cookie jar, then gets mad), he just finds this to be entertaining and a fun way to 'conversate' to other individuals, since his people skills are awful.

Other people’s opinions of them: Either the classic "great uncle George there has been smoking from the wrong pipe again", to getting called a pervert over the phone, the usual. To absolutely no one's surprise the guy almost always comes off as creepy or 'not all there' even when he's genuinely trying to socialize properly.

Three words to describe them: Libido. Attic. Rat.

One major turning point in their life: The day he finally broke down and knew/planned to kill both his parents, that action alone is sort of what ended up spiraling into him being completely unable to control himself. Along with that, the day Agnes escaped from the basement of their house and (finally) got away from him, he felt betrayed and abandoned(in his mind he had this delusional belief that his sister was the only person he could trust and understand him), even if he Knew he had hurt her.

If they could time travel, when would they go? He'd go get some good waffles at the very first waffle house ever opened in 1955 so he'd be the first customer to step foot inside that building.

Ideal romantic partner: Literally anyone with enough patience to deal with him and his breakdowns, and responsible enough to take care of him and keep him under control.

Favourite way to waste time: He was nicknamed The Moaner over the phone for a reason, and that reason just so happens to be his favourite hobby.

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen? One out of three things, most likely. He either starts drawing on it, writing whatever comes to mind, or he begins to eat the paper and nibble on the pencil.

View on home and family? In the past? Disastrous and terrifying. Right now? Still somewhat disastrous but with some more stability and...best part of all: HE gets to control his own life! Finally! Plus, Billy now has three lovely kitties to take care of🥰

Any secret stashes? He has a big stash of plushies and dolls in his attic, half of which he stole from homes all around his neighborhood, because he thinks he deserves toys more than actual children.

How do they express themselves? It depends. Sometimes the old man might just throw a snowball in your face just to tell you "good morning" with a shit-eating grin on his face, other times he might creep into your house and leave you an anonymous written letter on your dining table, other times he just wants to have a laugh or rub one out so he calls you on the phone from inside your own house before beginning his usual conversation about female genitalia and big boy manly male genitalia.

He's grown smarter from his previous experiences with breaking and entering too, now he purposefully breaks into people's attics with a telephone(or takes one from inside the house), plugs it in, and if he does get the police involved again, to avoid getting tracked he just leaves and either leaves the telephone in there too or he takes it with himself.

What did they want to be when they grew up? He only wanted to be away from his mother, fear and anger took up any space for a dream job in his mind back in the day.

What do you like most about them? I don't....know honestly, everything I suppose? I find the idea of an anonymous, perverted character like this, having reached old age and still being able to keep up his harassing calls, to be stupidly entertaining and interesting since I like to dig deep into his personality.

One or more plots you’re dying to have: Nothing special right now, to be frank. Buuut I wish I could dig deeper on how he met his partner and how their first few interactions were like.

#extra info on the old man i guess😔#*not in your attic ooc #//oh dramatic relief i thought it was me// lore #//it's cold out here...// lore #//creep? hmm..i take offense for that.//#billy lenz #|👁| <it's me!#take a shot for every time i write 'over the phone'

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noethicalconsumptionunderdisney · 3 years

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Ranked: Hannah Montana — Jake Ryan Episodes

Here we are at last: Jake Ryan. I think you all probably could’ve seen this coming, but I had to keep you waiting (and gather my thoughts a bit). Of Miley’s canon love interests, Jake (Leslie) Ryan is the one that gets the most screentime overall, and happens to be my personal favorite match for her, so it only makes sense to dedicate a Ranked post to him. As per usual, I’ll be revealing these rankings from Worst->Best, in reverse-order of how much I liked them.

Which brings us to probably the most unambiguous “Worst” ever:

��The End of the Jake As We Know It” (Season Four)

Yeah. Of all the episodes on this list, this is the only one I actively dislike. I don’t think this one was too much of a shock to anyone, but let me talk about why anyway:

This is the first and only time Jake shows up in Season 4. He’s barely shown in Season 3, which we’ll talk about a little more further down, but he really just seems to appear solely to be dragged through the mud, and then unceremoniously shooed out so Miley can ride off into the sunset with Jesse. I don’t even necessarily have a problem with them breaking up. I wouldn’t be happy about it, but you could at least give a better reason— you’ve done it before! Twice! And there’s a perfectly good reason right there in front of them: they’ve been apart for a while, they liked each other as kids, but now that they’re getting older and growing into separate lives, they’re growing apart. But no, let’s just have him randomly cheat on her, because that’s totally a satisfying conclusion to a multi-season arc. Calling one of your most beloved recurring characters a dick for 30 minutes is peak comedy, amirite?

This is also the only time in Season 4 that Oliver is actually an important part of an episode? He shows up for like 5 minutes in the Finale, but really, the Season 4 episode where he has the most screentime is this one. And while there’s nothing wrong with how Oliver is written here, it just makes a little extra mad, because most of his screentime is focused on this dumbass plot development. I can’t help but think, They brought back my man for this?! on both counts.

But let’s move on to less loathsome episodes, shall we?

“He Could Be The One” (Season Three)

Okay, I might catch some shit for this. I know. This episode’s very popular. I am aware of that. And I don’t actually hate this episode, like with the other one. I like the song, I like Miley asserting herself to her dad when it comes to her dating life, Lilly and Oliver are on-point (although that does kind of apply to the last episode too), and I even liked most of the interactions between Miley and Jake. That said, here’s why I’m ranking it so low:

THE ONLY REASON IT EXISTS IS TO SET MILEY UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

Everything from the start of the episode to the weird reframing of Miley and Jake’s complicated past to the focus on Miley bonding with someone else, thinking about that someone else when she’s singing to Jake, talking about how she wants to kiss that someone else so badly except for the inconvenient fact that she’s with Jake, to the episode treating them like equivalent options that are just so hard to decide between despite she and Jesse barely knowing each other and having no history outside this episode… every bit of it is designed to make you like the other guy better and root for the other guy.

And I guess if you haven’t watched the other episodes, or you have but it’s been awhile and you don’t remember them super-well, it’s easier to root for Jesse (ignoring all the problems that he himself has as a character, in this episode, even, but let’s not focus on that right now). But this show can’t trick me that easily, sorry not sorry.

I “should” like this episode more, given that this is when they get back together, but they could’ve gotten them together differently. Instead, we have Lilly berating Miley for going back to her ex after she rejects Jesse, we have Miley… tackling Jake? Did anyone else find that odd? Funny, yes, but weird as hell, and not really indicative of their dynamic. And worst of all, we have them completely rewriting history and hoping we don’t notice. It’s not respectful to list “we have so much history” as a reason to stay with Jake if you can’t be bothered to portray that history accurately. So before we delve into that history a bit, let me make one thing abundantly clear:

Jake did not break Miley’s heart. He’s also not the only one who’s ever fucked up or acted immaturely in their relationship. You wouldn’t know it from watching this, but she’s the one who broke up with him the only time they actually did date. Yeah, it was kind of crappy of him to make her think he was marrying her friend so he could “Gotcha!” her on TV, and it wasn’t great of him to kiss her and then leave in Season 1, but that’s a far cry away from “breaking her heart.” He literally never did. The fact that they framed it that way is not only frustrating, but also some gross foreshadowing for what they ultimately did to his character later on.

That said, the way Jake actually is when he’s onscreen (i.e. when you look at how he actually acts and not just how other people are talking about him) is pretty in-character, funny even. Miley and Jake still have their chemistry and their interactions are amazing apart from that weird tackling thing, and Jake reacting to the cat sweater was something I didn’t know I needed. So objections aside, I do like this episode. Just not as much as what’s to come.

“Jake… Another Little Piece of My Heart” (Season Three)

So while my previous entry was largely dedicated to explaining why it was ranked lower, this entry is going to be a defense of sorts, explaining why this episode, yeah might not be the best, but is a lot better than people remember, or at least is one I’m still very fond of.

In Jake’s last appearance before this, Miley agreed to be “just friends” with him. Here, we see them following up on that. She calls him “one of [her] best friends,” and not only that, she shows that she knows him well enough to know why he, of all people, should not be getting married young. “You change your phone plans every 6 weeks.” How does she know this? Because they kept in contact with each other. They contact each other frequently enough for her to know that he changes his phone plan all the time. They kept their promise! They’re exes, yes, and there’s still tension there as we see in the end, but they genuinely do feel like friends, and not just like they’re awkwardly forcing it.

Miley is understandably pissed when he pranks her, but that’s only because she cares so much, and I do think there’s genuine concern there as a friend, even if she very likely was also jealous. They’re comfortable around each other, they’ve gotten to know each other a lot better, and the hint that there’s still more lingering between them at the end is both promising and open-ended. They don’t get back together right then… but they show that they could, because those feelings are still there, despite everything.

I wonder, though, if this episode would’ve worked better had it aired earlier. We get indications that it was filmed earlier than some of the others, namely that scenes from it show up in the Opening Credits for that season, but for whatever reason, it didn’t air until much later. I’m not sure why, but I do think things could’ve been better had they reintroduced her relationship with Jake (friendship with some lingering feelings) earlier on, had a few more “regular” episodes without him, and then given the two a proper arc later in the season rather than just one episode where they’re like, “We’re back together now! But I also kind of like this other guy! Oh no!” and then he’s not there the rest of the season. But c’est la vie.

Now onto the good stuff:

“Good Golly, Miss Dolly” (Season One)

Honestly, the way the entire Season 1 arc unfolds with them is so natural and beautifully done, I almost don’t feel like it’s fair to dissect them individually and split them up based on personal favorites, because they work best in order and as a unit. But I still have my opinions.

I’ve expressed previously why I love Dolly Parton’s appearance here and why she kills it, but in terms of Miley’s development with Jake, this one remains the most stagnant and frustrating. Painfully realistic, of course, and very in-character for everyone, but of all the Season 1 Jake episodes, this is the one that has the least Jake in it? Which is not really why I’m ranking it lower, but it does put their dynamic into generic “girl clearly likes guy but is too proud and scared to admit her feelings” territory. Which is necessary for their story to develop, but isn’t as fun as the episodes where we actually see why she hasn’t been “falling all over him” up to this point (meaning, her aversion to his personality). And we pretty much end the episode right where we started: once again, Miley’s pining over him, wants to express her feelings for him, but feels like she can’t… only now she’s got a more solid reason not to.

“More Than A Zombie To Me” (Season One)

I was torn at first between this one and the Dolly one, but I ranked this one higher for a few reasons. For one, the storyline is a bit more complex and nuanced. Lilly teases Miley for being in denial of her feelings for Jake, Miley rejects him when he asks her out… but then Hannah Montana has to kiss him. She makes a case for why she shouldn’t have to kiss him… only to realize she wanted to when they actually listen to her. Jake respects her “no” and asks someone else… only for her to realize she wanted him after all. Miley fights with Lilly for Jake’s affections… only for her to realize that her friendship with Lilly is more important than whether or not she “gets the guy.”

Beat for beat, Miley is always one step behind, not because she’s stupid, but because she has too much pride to see what’s right in front of her, to acknowledge her own feelings. It’s not the most pleasant characterization for Miley, but it is very telling characterization, and it paints an interesting picture of her and her relationships to both Jake and Lilly— that she genuinely wants to mean what she says and say what she means, but her pride makes it harder for her to figure out what she actually wants. She genuinely wants to be a decent, down-to-earth person, but sometimes she’s too self-centered to realize how she’s coming off and how she might be hurting others.

What’s most interesting here, though, is Lilly’s characterization and development in the Jake arc. In this episode and the one before it, she’s among the girls who are “falling all over” Jake, even continuing to say “Sup” to him because he said it to her once like it’s their “special thing.” She alternates between starstruck awe over Jake and amusement over Miley’s aversion to him, teasing Miley that she may be protesting too much, and shamelessly drooling all over him to Miley’s annoyance. After this episode, we see her being the supportive friend and #1 Shipper On Deck for Jake and Miley… then firmly against Jake and Miley together after they break up the first time, and from that point on, genuinely over Jake and wanting what’s best for her best friend.

But this episode… this is where we see the switch. This is where we see Lilly giving Miley a fair shot, then taking Jake for herself when the opportunity presents itself. This is where we see her doing something for herself for once and going beyond that “best friend” role… only to realize it’s not meant to be. That Jake only ever had eyes for Miley. That she was the canned fruit cup he settled for after all. It’s painful and heartbreaking, and perhaps a less strong friendship wouldn’t be able to withstand it, but theirs does. Because Lilly does. Because Lilly knows that whatever Miley says, being with Jake would make her happy, and Jake wants Miley more than anyone else. And she’s willing to do whatever it takes to help them be happy together… even if it means she doesn’t get the guy herself. I think Lilly’s role in all this is so underrated, and she deserves massive credit for the maturity and development she displays here.

And of course, we have more characterization for Jake, where he’s… very much himself, but also better than Miley initially gives him credit for. Yeah, he’s still hiding behind his ego and bravado, and he does initially say Miley must’ve been nervous to reject him when he asks her out a second time on the beach, but we also see him accepting that she doesn’t like him back (or so he thinks). We see that he’s sweet to Hannah as a coworker, and then he confides in her that he likes Miley because she’s “cute, funny, smart, down-to-earth,” and because she sees him as a person, not as a superstar. I do think “moving on” from Miley by asking out her best friend, right in front of her, is kind of a dick move (or possibly a jealousy play), and he could’ve made a little more of an effort to be loyal to Lilly as she was his date, rather than being so obvious that he preferred Miley, but overall, I think this is a good episode for developing Jake as someone with hidden depths, and someone Miley could realistically fall for.

(Also, the subplot is comedy gold from start to finish.)

“People Who Use People” (Season One)

Their first kiss! Yeah, there’s no getting around it: this one’s amazing. Their banter is just on point from beginning to end. We have a continuation of Jake and Hannah’s pleasant costar relationship, a continuation of Miley’s ever-more-obvious feelings for Jake, and we have a culmination of the tension between the two in an incredible scene. Once again, this does one of my favorite things: it turns the narrative on its head. We know Miley used Willis to make Jake jealous, but now it’s revealed that Jake was doing the same thing with Holly all along.

“Holly? She’s not my girlfriend. We have a movie coming out, so we’ve been hanging out, it’s a publicity thing.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before?!”

“Uhhh… well… I-I think I—”

“Wait a minute, I know why. Because you were trying to make me jealous.”

“Was not.”

“Was too. Admit it, Jake, you like me.”

“No, you like me, just say it.”

“No, you say it!”

“No, you!”

*cue Big Damn Kiss*

They spar with each other like this all episode, meeting each other on the same level beat for beat. And Lilly eating popcorn in the background and falling off her chair? Let’s not lie to ourselves, we were all Lilly in this moment. Ultimately, this isn’t the story of “how they got together,” because Jake leaves for a movie, but even that makes some sense. He feels good that he got to kiss her before he left and doesn’t have to wonder what it would’ve been like, she feels angry that he kissed her when he knew he’d be leaving soon, and ultimately his acting career comes before him having a normal life, as it always sort of has, which unfortunately means it also has to come before Miley. But once again, we have an open ending, a clear “not now” rather than a “never,” and a question to be potentially answered in the future: Will They, Might They, and Would It Work Out? And of course, what’s next?

But before we get into that, let’s talk about where it all began:

#3: “New Kid in School” (Season One)

Who doesn’t love a good First Meeting, especially one that starts off with two prospective lovers starting off on the wrong foot? What I love about them starting off on the wrong foot here, though, is that it’s not really due to misunderstandings. On the contrary, Miley is the only person who knows exactly what’s going on— even better than Jake does, I’d argue, because he doesn’t even realize how arrogant he comes across, and Miley’s the only one willing to call him out on it.

This isn’t even particularly a shippy episode, apart from “Also, he thinks I’m cute, not that I care,” but I’d argue it’s better because it establishes them as characters first, and as Foils. Both of them are celebrities attending normal school and who, in theory, want to be treated like normal kids, but while Jake talks the talk and still gets everything he wants, Miley walks the walk and has to lose her celebrity privileges in exchange for peace and privacy. It’s understandable that Miley feels she’s gotten the short end of the stick, and it’s only later, after she’s opened her big mouth of course, when Jake confides in her that sometimes he really does wish he could be normal, it’s only then that she realizes she’s the lucky one.

But of course it’s not too late for her, it’s too early in the show for that! So we see her family coming together in this hilarious scene where they pretend they’re all crazy celebrity-impersonators. As a side note, I like to think they didn’t buy the Elvis costume for this, but that Jackson just had it lying around already and was itching for an excuse to use it. (Maybe he was Elvis for a previous Halloween, idk.)

In any case, the reason I rank this higher is that even though it doesn’t show that Miley and Jake like each other all that much, it shows why they could like each other, which in my opinion is more important. I mean, ideally, you’d have both, but this does a good job of introducing Jake as someone who seems like just another egotistical celebrity Miley can’t stand, but underneath that, is someone who just might understand what she goes through better than anyone, and Miley is the perfect person to understand him right back.

#2: “That’s What Friends Are For?” (Season Two)

The return of not one, but two iconic guest stars in the best and worst way: together. Months after their breakup, Miley finds Jake at her doorstep after sparring with Mikayla, and is sure he’s only there to get her back… but he just wants to be friends. Great! Good, no drama! That’s exactly what she wanted… right?

Even better, he invites her on the set of a talk show so he can reveal his new movie… and his new costar, her archrival Mikayla. The worst part is, he chose Mikayla out of courtesy. He doesn’t know Hannah and Mikayla hate each other, because they act friendly when they’re on-camera. He did it because he values his relationship with Miley, and doesn’t want to ruin their friendship by inviting her to play his love interest. And Miley… well, we all know Miley isn’t as okay with this as she pretends to be, and it only becomes more apparent as the episode goes on.

What I love about this is the role reversal this puts them in. For once, Jake is the one being mature, and Miley is the one that needs to apologize and grow, and admits it. It’s framed that way and everything. It’s almost bittersweet to watch, because this was such a good step for them, and probably the most mature episode involving the two. To see them go backwards in development after this, to see Jake be raked through the coals by the writers, all that good will between them forgotten and retconned and burned to hell later on, there’s just something very bitterly tragic about it. This episode was so important for them, not just as a relationship, but as people, and I wish that good will they had towards each other had remained and gotten a proper follow-up.

Of course, this was itself an excellent follow-up to…

#1: “Achy Jakey Heart” (Season Two)

Was it ever even a question? Jake Ryan returns in glorious fashion: falling from the sky, in a tux, down on one knee begging Miley’s forgiveness, with chocolates from the sky. Say what you will, that man knows his way around a Big Romantic Gesture. And he doesn’t stop there: muffins, “Jake steak,” a cardboard cutout, and barging in the front door in a literal knight costume, he asks what more he can do. More importantly, he says, “You’ve dumped stuff on me, and you’ve yelled at me. The one thing you haven’t done is tell me you don’t care about me. Tell me that, and I’ll go away.” Even after all this, he’s willing to respect her if the answer is “no.” He just wants to make sure it’s “no” because she doesn’t want him, and not because she doesn’t believe he cares for her. He does care for her, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to prove it.

He gets tested for this pretty much right away, fails in private, and then passes in public when Miley least expects him to. After telling Miley he can’t take her to a movie premiere because he’s pretending to date his costar, he rejects his costar on live TV to confess his love for Miley. He doesn’t do it expecting her to come back, rather, he admits his fault and accepts that for him, there’s no happy ending. And Miley responds in the best way possible, showing up with a “Who says real life doesn’t have happy endings?” and a Big Damn Kiss of her own.

This is also when they confide in each other. Jake tells her his real name is Leslie, and Miley tells him she’s Hannah Montana. They’re vulnerable with each other for the first time in their relationship, and they understand each other better than ever. Unfortunately, it’s understanding, or lack thereof, that also leads to their demise.

Jake wants to be a normal guy, or at least he thinks he does. Miley feels to a certain extent that she is a normal girl, just a normal girl who happened to get famous. And that disconnect, that difference hurts them. Miley realizes that Jake doesn’t actually know what it’s like to be normal, and having to be with someone who can’t handle one night of it, as well as the pressure of being famous as Miley too, is what finally cracks them open. I will say she could’ve handled it a lot better, and good on Jake for calling her out on her lack of communication, but in the end, their relationship is left with a mutual understanding: that Jake respects her secret, listened to what she had to say, and wants to improve. Not so that he can get her back, but so that he can be “worthy of someone as terrific as” her.

This also has ONE OF THE BEST SUBPLOTS OF ALL TIME. Cheese jerky? Capitalist commentary? Jackson rolling in money and Rico being mad about it? Oliver and Jackson doing a rap together? Are you not entertained? Like its main plot, this does end up reverting to the status quo by the end, but it’s done in a way that’s both crushingly realistic and brutally hilarious. Overall, this episode? One for the ages.

So there it is— every Jake Ryan episode, ranked. I have a whole ton more I could say about Jake Ryan, Miley Stewart, and their overall dynamic (and probably will, this week lol nope), but I feel like this is a decent start that outlines my opinions in quite a bit of detail. While not a perfect couple by any means, they sure as hell made the screen a lot more interesting. And hey, the course of true love never did run smooth, why should they be any different?

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starr-fall-knight-rise · 4 years

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Humans are Space Orcs, “You Survive We Thrive

Things are heating up with Krill’s mini plot line. Sorry I posted a little late today :) Hope you like it

“So, what do you think?”

….

“This is… disturbing, most disturbing.”

“That poor?”

The psychologist, a sturdy little vrul, steel grey in color, with red-tinted orange eyes looked up from where he was examining the projected data rolling in lines of minutely scripted characters through the air to vanish.

He had no issue with his divided attention, continuing to read the scrolling data as he spoke with the official, “That bad, I have never read a psychological evaluation this…. Strange….”

“Psychological degradation.”

The doctor shook his head, “That is what seems strange about it. There WAS no psychological degradation. His intelligence quotient remains high enough that the test cannot accurately represent it in numbers. He not only succeeded in all our tests, but often broke them from the inside going out. He shows extreme scores on logical thinking, and procedural memory, but the strange part is his creative problem solving has skyrocketed enough to break the test. There is no degradation, but his scores and IMPROVING. I even created a matrix for emotional intelligence, not a perfect test, but think accurate enough, and he scores extremely well on that.”

There was a pause between the two of them.

“Did you think to test him against the human? See if maybe the changes could be explained by that?”

The psychologist looked on miffed, almost insulted, “Of course I took that into account. That was one of the first things I did.” He switched the projected information, “The human’s scores are….. Well they are erratic at best and downright confusing at worst. Let me explain. You see this here, as far as intelligence goes, he's about as smart as the average beta, which gives him a little over average for humans. I mean you would hope that he is, but there is nothing special. His spatial intelligence is…. Well its excellent, far beyond excellent. And the same can be said about creative problem solving. Emotional intelligence is higher than the doctors both show the same in procedural memory, however a relating to semantic memory the doctor far outstrips the human. Numerical intelligence does not seem to be the human’s strong suit. In fact, I don’t think I have ever seen someone score that low before. I would say the same for episodic memory, accept worse. The human seems to think that he can remember things well, but it seems that he actually cannot.” “What does that have to do with anything.”

“Well you know how I said that the human’s intelligence scores put him at the low end of beta…..”

“Yes.”

“Well in aggregate, putting all his scores together, he would count as an alpha.”

The official stood back in surprise, “How? How can that be possible.”

“I am not entirely sure at this moment, but…. It is quite fascinating… I was thinking about going to talk to the human face to face, see if I can’t figure out this mystery.”

The official nervously shifted in place, “You should be careful, psychologist, you are starting to sound like the doctor did before he went off his rocker.”

“Has he gone off his rocker though?” The psychologist retorted.

“I mean yes, of course he has.”

“The tests say he hasn’t.”

The official harrumphed, “Well, aren't you also saying earlier that he had shown extreme increases on the aggression quotient as well as that for emotional response.”

“yes , but that hasn’t affected his other scores.”

The official sighed but then nodded, “Very well, but be careful, and don’t spend too much time with the human. He has proven to be dangerous, and may have an affect on you.”

“You worry far to much, it took the doctor months to be affected by him, and he had already showed signs of instability before that. I will be fine.”

***

“Dr…..Dr….. try to pay attention please.”

Krill lifted his head in annoyance pulling himself from a contemplation of all the stupid things the humans had probably been doing while he was gone, “I have answered all of your question. I have no idea why you would still be interested.

“We have plenty more questions.”

“No you have the same question but phrased slightly differently every time.” Krill sighed and glowered at the illuminated blue walls.

“Why are you so angry, doctor.”

He turned to look at them, “I am angry because I realize there are things about humans that I prefer over my own species sometimes.”

There was a pause.

“And what might that be?”

“Well, for one humans generally accept an answer after the tenth time I have given it. Not to mention that….. Well…. There are a lot of things.”

“Go on, we are listening.”

Krill sighed his shoulders sagging. He tried to control the human body language, but was finding it difficult, “OUr species has spent decades surviving, but isn’t the measure of a successful species one that can flourish. Our population has been stable for the past thousand years, and it has functioned the same way during that time. We don’t try to get better, we make it to, yeah that's ok and then we quit. Humans don’t just Survive, they TRIBE they are always trying to get better, to improve upon what they have. Where illness is a reason for death because we are no longer useful, they created technology to make life come to them. It has been less than a decade, and humans already live all across the galaxy. Their population has reached an all time eruption, and there is no reason it cannot get bigger. And here we are piddling along on our single planet, in upwards of ten cities doing the same thing we have done for generations.”

“The point of our species is survival.”

“We have proven to be good at that, why not go on from survival and into…… thriving.”

“The Universe is not meant for us. We are not as durable as others. Our planet is all we have.”

Krill shook his head growing more excitedly agitated, “that is where you are wrong, the bigger universe is out there for us. I have proven it. I have visited and stayed on death worlds for weeks at a time. Do you want to know the secret?”

The other Vrul looked a bit surprised, but intrigued. Looking on at Krill like he was insane.

“The secret is sociability. I survived because I had humans to help me. WIth their help I have been able to go anywhere and survive in any place. If we learn from them, we have a chance to live like they do.”

“And how is that?”

“Free.”

***

Commander Vir floated in near darkness a soft blue light illuminating him from all sides. He couldn't have said which was was up or which was was down. The only color he saw was blue, and aside from his own body there was nothing else, so he floated, rotating slowly his hands held out to his sides his legs relaxed and resting easily in the air. If he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine the warm heaviness of a space suit, and his breath against the glass, a thin barrier between him and space.

Images of his first spacewalk ran through his mind with the fiery light of a star rising behind a strange alien world.

There was a sort of soft rumbling that broke him from his thoughts, and he spun in mid-air to find a vrul float into the room. It seemed as if he was upside down though…. Or well he couldn't have said which one of them was upside down considering space didn’t seem to have a right side up or upside down.

He struggled for a few seconds rotating to face the Vrul.

Despite being the captain of a spaceship, he didn’t actually spend much of his time in zero Gs, though that was a fact he would forever be salty about.

“Commander.” The Vrul acknowledged floating closer as Adam finally righted himself.

“I am afraid you have me at a bit of a disadvantage…. Who are you?”

The Vrul stopped his orange-red eyes glowing strangely in the blue light, “I am the psychologist.”

“Ah, let me guess, you wanted to see what about a human makes your species so vulnerable to change?”

“Precisely, smarter than your tests suggested.”

Adam frowned, “You know that seems to be a thing with you Vrul. Every time I meet a new one of you, I spend most of my time getting insulted, and yet there isn’t really much I can do, since you guys don’t say anything that isn’t true.”

“And the doctor does not?”

“Not anymore.”

“Why is that.”

Adam, in boredom, began rotating backwards feet thrown up into the air, watching the Vrul as he slowly spun in a circle, “Hmm…. I think…. I think the answer is because we socialized him.”

Spinning back around, the commander would have said that the Vrul seemed surprised. Generally those emotions were easier to read on Krill, but he supposed that was part of the reason why he said what he said.

“That is… an interesting theory, human.”

“Not really a theory. A theory implies that it cannot be tested. I would suggest it’s more a hypothesis.”

The vrul looked at him in a contemplative manner, “Go on, I am interested to hear what you have to say on the subject.”

Adam was a little surprised, “Vrul were kind of known for being stuck up pricks who thought they were smarter than everyone else, but he supposed that this might just help krill out of his current predicament.”

“Well you have talked about the doctor changing a lot, and I have this theory that every one of those changes have to do with his adaptability living in a pack.” The Vrul waited for him to continue, so he did, “You say something about how Krill is more emotional now, right? Well, emotions are adaptable to humans. Aggression allows people to keep their place in the hierarchy. We have trouble listening to krill like we should, so he gets mad at us, as a way to show us he SHOULD be respected. You might have discussed his use of human facial expressions or body language, well, body language is EXTREMELY important to properly communicating with a human, if he didn’t adopt those habits than he wouldn’t be able to communicate with us effectively. You guys talk about how he moves wrong, well that's part to do with body language and part to do with how quickly humans move. He can’t keep up with us if he floats.”

The psychologist looked Adam over with a critical eye, “Have you been thinking about this?”

Adam shrugged, “Not really, it just makes sense. And I argue that it PROVES that your species is more adaptive than you originally thought. Krill isn’t broken, he has…. Well micro-evolved. I guess.”

The psychologist looked on with interest, “And…. what do you care about him.”

Adam snorted, “Look. Once you make friends with a human, or a group of humans your as good as family, sometimes better than. We have a saying on earth, the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. It means that the people you choose can sometimes be more important than the people you didn’t. Well we adopted Krill into our pack, he's as good as family to me, and I will do ANYTHING to keep him safe.”

WIth a slight shift of his body, the Vrul floated back.

Adam floated forward, “And when I say ANYTHING, I mean it.”

“But he's not even your species.”

Adam shook his head, “Doesn't matter, the human bonding instinct is so powerful that we routinely bond with inanimate objects. I bought a cactus (a plant) during my time in the airforce academy. I named him melvin, he’s still alive and lives at my parents house. We are great friends. I know a guy who won a stuffed pig at a carnival, and now it goes with him everywhere. My sister always buys the most mangled shaped food because it makes her sad to think that no one will buy it….. She's sad…. For vegetables.”

The Vrul had floated back even further.

“So when I say that we can bond with inanimate objects, imagine how we feel about Krill. Not only my good friend, but our doctor and our surgeon. He saved my life on multiple occasions which also means I owe him a debt of honor like the Drev see honor. I can’t let him go until I repay him, and even then I don’t plan on it.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I am saying that I WILL get y friend back, no matter what I have to do.”

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lizacstuff · 3 years

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Sen Çal Kapımı / Edser Asks

After the fragman, I got a few anons this afternoon, my answer are under the cut.

(Also my initial reactions are in this post.)

Anonymous said: In the spirit of optimism- when Eda broke up with Serkan in 25, everyone freaked out but by the end of the next episode, she proposed LOL. Maybe just maybe they won’t do the “everyone pretends Selin and Serkan are a thing for medical reasons for multiple episodes” route and someone gets her kicked to the curb in 29. I wonder how much of the 2.5 hrs will be before he comes back and how much is after.

LOL, I certainly would like Selin to be back for only one episode. I hope my speculation is right (this post,)and her narrative purpose is to make Serkan distrust Eda from the start and once she’s done that she can exit stage right.

As for the theory you mention, which I have seen on twitter, I don’t see people pretending they’re together for medical reasons. That makes zero sense to me (not that medical diagnosis on a silly romantic dramedy dizi would be accurate, lol) why would that be necessary? Why would anyone go along with that? Especially when all he would need to do is google himself to find out about his relationship with Eda. They were all over the tabloids and on the cover of a magazine. Plus it seems like he knows about Eda, Selin tells him "she turned you into someone you’re not and dragged you into a different world.” He has to know they were in a relationship.

There is a lot of knee-jerk hysteria over there right now which is leading to completely neurosis-induced, nonsensical, worst-case scenario speculation. I recommend avoiding for awhile if anyone is easily upset by that type of thing.

As for the timeline of the ep, great question. I am hoping that the walk into ArtLife is not the end of the episode. We’re going to need to see Serkan and Eda meeting face to face before this episode is up in order to survive! We know almost the full cast (including Hande and Kerem) were shooting at a cafe yesterday, and the cast looked dressed up. Most thought it was for 1x28, so that seems like there are scenes with Serkan and the full cast in this ep.

Though, the show has a lot of questions to answer. How in God’s name did he end up in that cabin? Did he get on the plane or not? Was he held captive and got dropped in the woods with only Selin’s phone number? Has he been in a coma? Was there foul play involved? Was there a brain injury or did Babaanne arrange his kidnapping and give him some experimental drug to wipe out his memories of Eda?

Not sure if this Deniz is a law enforcement official or some sort of private detective, but there would have been some sort of official inquiry and search when he went missing. So he can’t just be lazing around for 2 months, easily findable. And Selin can’t have been with him for anything length of time without the others knowing he’s alive, because that would pretty much be kidnapping. So what HAPPENED?

Anonymous said: I hope we get good Eda and Aydan moments. She didn’t get married but she is still Aydan’s daughter now. He’s going to come back and find that this woman has his mother, his company, his dog, his car, his friends.....there’s no way that he doesn’t just know that Selin has been a snake.

Yes, please! I’m sure we will get Eda and Aydan moments, it looks from the first trailer that they will lean on each other while he’s missing. Which they should, they’ll be the two that will hold out hope and give one another comfort.

I am LOVING that Eda is driving his car and taking care of his dog. As she should, they were hours away from being married! And yes, you’re correct, he’s going to find Eda so deeply embedded in everything he remembers (except Selin) that it’s going to drive him crazy. Who is this woman and how did she ensorcell him so thoroughly? Can’t wait for him to find out.

You know what I’m most looking forward to in regards to Aydan? Serkan’s shock that his mother has conquered her agoraphobia. Can’t wait for him to find out that Eda was instrumental in helping her do that.

She is going to hit him like an emotional freight train. A second time.

Anonymous said: i know most of the fandom has already accepted it as fact bc they can't wait for the actual ep to make conclusions, but i'm less inclined to believe he's been in that cabin w/ selin for 2 months.. idk HOW he gets there, or how selin ends up there.. but for some reason i think they find him first, and he takes off by himself for a bit as he's overwhelmed with the whole situation.. and then selin enters. idk, we'll have to see it, but i think, like all trailers, it's confusing on purpose.

This theory is definitely possible. That he’s found and freaks out and goes to the cabin. Perhaps the last he remembers he was still with Selin so he reaches out to her for answer about what’s going on. That would make sense why he accepts her comfort, and she gives it, but can’t help herself from trying to do everything in her power to make him distrust Eda. Even if she doesn’t have hope of reconciliation, just to cause chaos because she doesn’t want them to find happiness together. She’s said it more than once, she didn’t want him happy, while she was not.

Anonymous said: I am not emotionally prepared to watch the look on Eda’s face when Serkan walks in holding hands with Selin after being missing for the last two months....😭😭😭. Also even if Serkan & Selin are purely platonic watching their scenes together are going to be brutal. I am prepared to cry ( both tears of joy & sadness) & be very mad at various points in this episode. It will be an rollercoaster of emotions for sure.

Yep, pretty much all of this! I don’t think I’m going to enjoy watching this episode at all. However, my hope is that I will really enjoy watching the storyline that it sets up where we get to watch Serkan fall in love with Eda all over again. Think of all the delicious, UST-y, sexy, funny, fiery, passionate scenes that are in store for us!

Off the top of my head, things I want:

Serkan opening Madonna in a Fur Coat and finding their photo

Serkan’s deep-seated memory kicking in and mindlessly tearing the crusts off bread for her without realizing it or knowing why

Finding out his computer password and what it means

Seeing photos of them from their matchmaking party. Looking so in love and surrounded by friends and family and everyone looks so happy

One of the friends, Engin or Piril snapping and telling him the big change Eda brought about in him was just that he was happy

Serkan seeing media clippings of them and their relationship

Eda handcuffing him so they have to spend time together while trying to jog his memory

After being suspicious and trying to keep her at arms length, Serkan finally breaking down and asking her questions about their relationship

Serkan being mistrustful of her, but still unable to say no to her

Anonymous said: So I get that SCK is going through a reset and now we will get to watch Eda & Serkan fall in love again but seriously they brought Selin back like that...WTF? Now she is even worse than Balca. Plus the entire world thinks Serkan is dead but somehow Selin found him and never bothered to tell anyone else...that should send up some red flags for sure. Regardless of the explanation, this situation is going to crush Eda. And it seems like a lot to go through to have him immediately get his memories back so we could be stuck with this storyline for a while.

Yes, poor Eda is going to be crushed no matter what. However, I know that people have been theorizing that the memory loss would be short, but I never thought it would be. What’s the point of this reset unless they’re going to follow through with it and milk it for as many episode as possible. They’re trying to find ways to keep this show going and this is their big swing.

The entire point is to recreate the magic of Eda and Serkan falling in love, and, honestly, I'm not sure why anyone would want that to be over in 2 episodes. I don’t see it as being stuck with the amnesia story, I’m excited for all the parallels, watching Serkan get struck by lightning a second time when he first sees her. Watching him be suspicious of her, of her motives of her abilities, but then finding out all the same things that he found out the first time, that she’s fierce, kind-hearted, loyal and talented. And just a bright shining light for him.

My heart melts just thinking about it. We just have to get rid of that opportunistic, malevolent, bitter hag.

Anonymous said: one complaint that i've seen in regards to sck is that characters aren't sent off properly.. but outside of maybe fifi (which we don't know how they'll explain her leaving) am i the only one that doesn't... really care? everyone that's left has been unsubstantial or in a villain role, and personally whatever way they leave i'm fine with lol.. i know when selin left ppl were mad bc they wanted a redemption story arc for her.. but not every character NEEDS that by default, if that makes sense.

For context, this ask was sent before the fragman. I agree with you, no side character needs redemption by default. I’ve said it many times, but on this specific show, really only two characters matter: Eda and Serkan. This is their story. Their love story. Everyone else is supporting in the truest sense of the word. They all exist to prop up the A story. So for most of them their journey doesn’t matter unless it directly affects Eda or Serkan. (Aydan’s growth and redemption has directly impacted Eda and Serkan and that’s why time has been spent on it). Selin is a tool. She’s behaved erratically at time because she only exists for the writers to use her to antagonize the protagonists. Her story in and of itself does not matter.

I laughed hysterically when some on twitter were thinking Serkan might really be dead and Kerem was leaving the show.

Seriously? You think they would try to keep this show going without Edser? That anyone would pay money for it, without them? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! If one of them were to leave, the show would be over. Dead. Cancelled. There is NO reason for this show to keep going other than for more Edser. Everything else is an after thought, filler, or characters that prop up Eda and Serkan either literally or symbolically or thematically. Nothing else stands on it’s own.

They devised this storyline in order to go back to the magic of these two people falling in love. Full stop. That’s why we’re seeing this reset. Because no other characters or their storylines are compelling enough to carry the show. I applaud the writers for creating a situation where we could watch Serkan fall in love with Eda one more time. (just get rid of Selin, please, so I can enjoy it... and do it quickly.)

#Sen Çal Kapımı #Sen Cal Kapimi #edser #sck speculation #sck spoilers #sckask #sck 1x29 #asklizac #anonymous

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allthebest20 · 3 years

Text

Giovanni's Room (1956) by James Baldwin

10/10. This is the best book I've read in a long time. I love it. I have immediate plans to read the rest of his work, and I think I may even purchase myself a copy of this book to read over and over again (even though I don't have the space). It's books like these that make me almost regret I got a B.S. I mean, I went to college for 4 years and took only one English class, even though those were some of my favorites when I was younger. Now, I barely know of James Baldwin -- obviously one of the greatest American authors. At the same time, it's almost exciting to know that I have my whole life ahead of me to study the written word. There are so many amazing books in my future. It's not like opening Netflix and settling for the whatever slightly-problematic comedy or mostly-accurate doc you can find. I am high writing this right now, can you tell? Anyways. I was surprised when I started the book and realized that the narrator is white (and in fact so are all the main characters). If James Baldwin's face hadn't been printed on the cover of my copy, I probably would have forgotten that the author was black. I'm not sure what this says about Baldwin: I know he often tried to escape the label of "Black Author" and the limitations he felt came with that. I, however, am a firm believer that writers cannot escape their identities. We can only write well about what we know well -- it's why Fannie Flagg writing about a dark skin black boy's inner thoughts sounds so stale. Yet, Giovanni's Room is far from an identity escape. It felt so raw, so real. After I read it, I obsessed over Baldwin's Wikipedia page, then google, before getting pay-walled out of a juicy New Yorker article -- all trying to find out more about Baldwin's love life, knowing that Giovanni and David's relationship must have been based on a real person. From what I've read, Lucien Happersberger was a Swiss bisexual man who was 8 years younger than Baldwin. A few years after meeting Baldwin, Lucien married a women, and this reportedly broke Baldwin's heart. After their marriage ended, Baldwin and Lucien remained close until Baldwin's death. Although the narrator David is the American trying to escape, he also has a slight bisexual side -- I believe he does love his fiancee -- and he attempts to leave his gay lover for a hetero marriage that ultimately fails, like Lucien. Apparently Baldwin often got this kind of treatment in real life, because he has a taste for straight and bi men. I cannot help but think that Baldwin identifies more with Giovanni, the sensitive man who longs for love, justice, domestic bliss, but is denied it because of prejudice, ultimately driven to madness and then violence by the unfairness of the world. Of course, he is both men. Like David, he knows what it's like to try and hide from yourself. Most queer people can relate to David's youthful exploration of his sexuality. The initial denial, so deep you don't even feel it; the build-up, played off innocently; the moment when the act is committed, perhaps even just the thought of wanting to commit the act and not knowing whether to run but really wanting to stay; the immediate aftermath, the running, the hiding, the rethinking how important that feeling really was, the feeling that made you want to stay before; and finally the fall-out, the period of time where you teeter on the edge, trying to push yourself towards hetero, but always swinging back more forcefully toward homo. This book made me realize that I have probably never read a good gay book in my entire life. They all pale in comparison to everything this book does. I feel like I understand gay men, gay history, and myself better. The narrator is a pretty despicable person, if one can be blamed for their trauma in that way. He is entirely emotionally closed off, constantly lying and looking down on others, selfish, alcoholic, lost, without love or purpose. He drifts through Paris in the 1950s on the generosity of rich non-sexual daddies and his literal father. He is disgusted by most of the older

gay men in the community, even his friend, Jacques, although they are so obviously his future. They are men who no longer have any interest in love, only wanting to playing with the pretty young men as long as they hold their interest. It's not so much that they don't want love, but that they have long given up on it, long learned the feeling and probability of heartbreak. Their open sexuality, unashamed desire and femininity, is very distasteful to David, who works so hard to keep his shuttered. It is so sad to read about his love for Giovanni, which is barely visible over the layers of shame and the confusing messages of masculinity. You can see them living a beautiful life in 2020, but in 1950s, it is all but doomed, if not physically, then emotionally. David will never be able to open himself up enough to truly love Giovanni. Giovanni knows this about David before they even meet, and that seems to be why he is so unhinged and depressed. SPOILERS: Giovanni says he left his village when his son died, and knowing Catholics, I know he must have felt it was God punishing him for his gay sins. After the death of a child, he must have felt like there was nothing left for him to lose. No reason to pretend to be hetero, no reason to be connected with his family, for with that was the potential to cause them pain with his "sins". Giovanni's Room is the most true story of star-crossed lovers imaginable. I also loved the way David spoke about his love for his fiancee, and how that added extra confusion for him. I can identify so much with the feelings of "I can make this hetero thing work, I do love this person," but it is not the love you want. It is not true. There's something missing, a closeness you can never have with that person. Finally, I won't write about it here, but I thought the ending was amazing. Totally did not see it coming, yet it fit with the plot seamlessly. So few books can provide the level of emotions, truth, written beauty, and plot strength that this novel does. It's a true work of art.

#book #10/10 #james baldwin #giovanni's room #queer #historical #1950s #paris #france

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icharchivist · 3 years

Note

Thank you for answering the previous asks and hope you're prepared!

How much, out of ten, are you of each winter troupe member?

Have a good day :3c

ahah thank you for doing that all the way!

and oh boy i thought i was prepared but turns out-

okay notewise.:

Tsumugi: 7/10, Tasuku: 3/10, Homare: 4/10 Hisoka: 9.5/10, Azuma: 10/10, Guy: 6/10

(if you're supprised Azuma is actually my ultimate kin and it's not Hisoka: congratz i fooled all of u. the only reason i don't have an Azuma icon is that i genuinely think he looks too sexy in some arts and it doesn't feel Me despite everything else. The more u know.)

And. i need to warn that i went much more into personal details for Hisoka and Azuma under the cut to the point where it may be overwhelming. And that Azuma's entry alone is 2.1k words long. What the fuck me.

Relating to team "we have so much trauma" is going to be so much fun.

coughs, anyway take care :3c

(Links: Spring, Summer, Autumn , Winter ranking)

Winter my beloved, this is going to be a normal, non emotional ranking at all.

Tsumugi: 7/10 I relate to his lack of confidence, and the way he gave up on everything he loved when his spirit was crushed (re what I was talking about with my Kumon rant). On my down time I did study a bit of psychology and though I wouldn’t put myself at the same level as a psy student I’m often told I read people mostly in an accurate way so I can relate to that. I can use my powers for Evil like nudging people in some direction or knowing where to attack, but I am super aware of that and I’ve been extra conscious about not having it happen again for over ten years now DLKFJDLF (Azuma is kinda like that too). But yeah the fact he is like that too makes it relatable.

I also think that the whole “feeling you fucked up and took all the responsibility when a friendship broke apart” is also something very relatable. So is “ghosting your friends after that”. I relate to the fact he’s a nerd too. I relate to him more than not but I guess I just removed points because of how while I relate to specificities the whole thing doesn’t connect as much as it could?

Tasuku: 3/10 he’s probably the one I relate the least to. I honestly didn’t understand Tasuku much until Nocturnality on my first read, and it’s only then that things clicked. Legit I saw him the way Azuma saw him dLKFJDKFJDF. But I do feel it relatable that he feels responsible for failing his friend and that he took it upon himself to try to read more into how people are behaving to try to prevent it from happening again. But else he’s. genuinely not like me KDJFKLDFJDFL

Homare: 4/10 mhmm. I think I relate to the way he is passionate and how much he genuinely loves. I also relate to the fact he is pretty analytic, though the details of what makes his struggles are not something I relate to easily. I have felt broken before, I was told i was broken or unfit in some ways, so this particular pain is something I completely understand. I also did use to be an artist and a writer so I can relate to that passion of his, although as I mentioned in others ranking *shrugs*. That said he’s very much more exuberant and confident than I am and I would assume I know how to deal with people emotionally a bit more.

Hisoka: 9.5/10 oh boy where to start. This is going to be a tough one to get into without getting extremely personal. To start with, I’m a sleepy baby. I sleep a lot DLKJFDF though not much at night. I used to fall asleep in class all the time my friends had to always be on the watch out for me. I don’t have much energies. I love plushy and I love being comfortable in some places. I also really love sweets tho not as much as him. I also do care ways too much for my specific plushies and pillows (I do have huge penguins plushies too).

I, too, have memories issues, though of course to a lesser extend. I have a lot of trauma and for a lot of them I ended up getting fuzzy memories. I used to be in a pretty toxic environment where I constantly had to make use of my memory to survive, and so when my memory started failing me, I was terrified. My parents gaslight me all the time and pretends a lot of things that happened didn’t happen and that I’m crazy for believing it happened, so the moment my memory started to fail me I started to panic a lot. It terrified me to not being completely sure whenever I could trust myself or not. It made me feel extremely unreliable. It’s still something I struggle with a lot.

This would have been my answer pre-awakening moon at least. I always related to him to some degree so Awakening moon was a slap in the face in a way I wasn’t ready to deal with, and this is where I have to be uncomfortably personal.

I am the youngest sibling of 3. My eldest sister ran away from home when I was 6, never to be seen again. My other sister resented me because I used to be very close to the eldest and she was jealous about it, and while the reasons were linked to our parents, who were extremely toxic to us and kept us into this toxic environment for years on end, my sister took all her anger out on me. While we’ve discussed it as adults now, our relationships is too strained to fix it nowadays.

It took me a long while – it took me Azuma’s arc actually – to realize that the way I feel for my eldest sister is more akin to grief than to abandon. I don’t even remember her. I don’t remember her and still apparently the way I was close to her was the reason my sibling hold it against me. I couldn’t even remember *why* my sister was mad at me because I don’t even remember being close to my sister that much. All I know is that she left because the situation at home was too toxic. It was.. so messy.

I have. Much more trauma linked to that specifically but that’s the root of something that hit me in the face with Hisoka’s arc. Because I can’t remember a person that disappeared from my life, and yet it was enough for it to break and shape everything I’ve lived through since. I couldn’t even start to talk about how it still impacts me now 20 years later. I’m just now making peace with the fact this was grief. This is the gist of the reason Hisoka’s arc hit me as hard as it did (and the fact that Chikage is actively undoing all the bad things his own grief pushed him to do on Hisoka is the reason Chikage is so compelling to me. My sister could never lol.).

I felt also that I had to take all the responsibilities for what happened. I felt like I could make things easier for the family after this trauma, at the rip age of 7, and no one stopped to think maybe a child shouldn’t have to be dealing with a collective family trauma like this. But well. Here we are.

I relate to the fact Hisoka also struggles to accept everything that happened. And that now he’s trying to make things better for others people he can relate to. It’s so… complicated.

Also I can’t forget the fact Hisoka tried to kill himself and :/ as someone who has had a lot of suicidal idealization in my life this really hit a lot harder than it should have.

In general I would just say that socially I’m not really like him except with people I’m comfortable with teasing. Hisoka can be a little too rude and it’s where I can’t relate lol. But otherwise man I care him so much I feel so seen. I’m just removing 0.5 points for that and I don’t give him full mark because of what I’ll explain next.

Azuma: 10/10 This one is going to be a trip. It’s about twice the length of the Hisoka’s rant. Mister took me by the throat too. As I think it’s clear now I cannot relate to the fact he genuinely loved his family and how much his family cared for him. Yet I relate… to about everything else.

On the surface I do think I seem more approachable and easy to talk with. I try to be the kindest person I can be, to not be judgmental. I’m conflict avoidant, just like he can be, and if I’m annoyed with someone I’m muuuuch more likely to use passive aggressiveness like he does with Tasuku when he’s pissed at him. (sidenote: I do find it funny that Tasuku was the only character I really felt I didn’t get until Nocturnality, while Azuma was having the exact same problem, and then he became one of my fav the moment it clicked. Azuma is my braincell.)

More often than not, there’s a smile on my face and I try to be soft in the way I can be. I’m generally pretty calm, I’ve been told I was soothing, or give good hugs, this sort of stuff.

Now onto the heavy stuff.

I have a lot of nightmares and night terrors linked to a lot of my traumas. I’m honestly scared sometimes to go to sleep ^^”. But in general, if Hisoka reflects a lot of a personal trauma and how it would personally affect me, Azuma reflects a lot on how I would behave with others people in general and especially when I’m unwell. I’ve coped most of my life with, everything that happened to me, by just. Trying to keep people at armlength. I don’t want to let people close to me, especially irl. Discussing all of that online gives me a distance that allows me to discuss it but, I remember in high school I was going through very bad things, and a few years later I was hanging out with a friend and I happened to open up about those things. And she was going livid because, she had known me for what, 6 years at that point? And she never knew any of this. We talked a lot then, we were close, but she never knew all those things about me until years later. It kinda scared her because to her I was always a sweet and cheerful person and she never expected that I was doing this badly. I remember then she brought up something we discussed back in a party with many of our others friends from high school and similarly they were all. “how did we never know any of this.”. Seeing Azuma in Nocturnality kinda brought me back to that convo tbh LKDJFLKDFJFD.

But I’m good at pretending I’m closer to people than they think. I’m an excellent listener. A lot of my friends tended to rely on me as the person they could talk about their problems to. I used to do it much more back then but I also used to pour a lot of energy trying to make it easier for people, solving their problems. Full on Therapist Friend:tm:. It does help that, as I said with Tsumu, I have basis in psychology so sometimes some observations I can make help much more than expected. Just like Azu tbh lol.

Oh also I am cuddly with my friends in general. I’m super touch starved but also to the point I feel uncomfortable to seek hugs because I just don’t get any on a normal basis and my body isn’t used, but I’m super cuddly and when I’m with my closest friends I’m like a koala.

And it gives people the impression to people that I’m very close to them because I know them well, and I know the ins and outs of why they behave the way they do. But. I kinda feel like it’s one sided more than not. And it’s all because of me, because I keep my walls up very high and it means people don’t generally expect that I’m hiding things.

I’m good at distracting too. I don’t relate to how flirty Azuma is but I keep seeing it as him distracting others. It’s flattering, and just embarrassing enough that the person ends up dropping whatever they may be pressing on Azuma to talk about. And, while not with flirting, I do that a lot, especially using compliments like that. (That said my kindness or teasing has been misinterpreted as flirting before DLKFJDLKF I’m trying to be extra conscious about not having that misunderstanding happen nowadays but man it happened a lot).

Azuma knows a lot of people, and has been supporting a lot of people, but he doesn’t let people in as much.

And a lot of it is linked to his own sense of grief. Of the fact he has lost so much he can’t afford to go through the pain of losing something again, so he distances himself from it before it can hurt. And I do that a lot.

I mentioned in the previous rant but it’s seeing Azuma’s arc that made me understand how much it’s more grief than abandon that makes it so hard for me to move on. And a part of me kinda just. Grieves the family I could never have, the normal life I wish I could have lived and clang too all of my life. When Azuma told Guy “I was always so lonely. Everyone had families they could take for granted but I had no one.” Oh my god it destroyed me. And how he mentions just afterward that while he has new people to rely on, it couldn’t change the fact he was still feeling this pain of losing his family and it just. Man. Might be crying right now.

It’s like… I think the reason I especially related to that is that, in therapy I’ve often discussed my problems in the lenses of neglect and abandon but the problem with that lenses is that, at least with the therapists I had, they tend to focus on the fact that therefore I /must/ be still yearning for them to change and turn around, like I could change something. But I don’t. I was resigned at some point. And it’s really only when I read that that I felt this exact resignation I have been feeling all that time. I think I mentioned once how reading a3 felt like going one step toward recovery I didn’t know I could get and this was exactly the scene I meant. It legit took a weight off my heart that i've been carrying for decades. It was the strangest feeling in the world.

Anyway more in general too, on top of keeping people at distance, I am also a pro at “suddenly disappearing/ghosting when I get too close and/or have a relapse”. When Azuma starts to pull his relapses like we see in Nocturnality, I see myself. Legit had a friend who read a3 who called me out about that DLKJFDKLFJ. Acting weird like this, closing yourself in like this, coming back to some harmful coping mechanism as a way to connect back with your own self, those are all things I do. And it sucks. Like. The things I put my friends though sucks. But I really can’t help it sometimes.

I’m good at listening and observing, I’m generally good at picking up why people act a certain way, but I’m still very distant. I do everything I can to pretend I’m not distant and generally it fakes an idea of intimacy that I don’t specifically see as such.

And I see all of that in Azuma in ways that are terrifyingly relatable. Another thing Azuma says in this convo with Guy, about how “Everytime I would go to sleep, I would wish the morning would never come” me. Mood. Holy shit. Feel seen. I hate it. Just in general though the way he talks about morning as this terrifying thing is me. Between the night terrors and the fact morning genuinely makes me feel horrible, that’s kinda why I end up oversleeping until the afternoon DLKFJDF Azuma my lord I feel you.

Because of my nightly panic attacks I do try to come up with ways around it mainly by drinking some relaxing tisanes and stuff. Oh and I did have a huge period in life where I HATED being in the sun, and I fucked over all of my melanin because of that. as a kid I would tan very easily, but now the sun hates me as much as I used to hate it. So when Azuma is a drama queen about not wanting to stay in the UV too much I’m just like. How dare you pull out a mirror on me I didn’t ask for this. (also I have been called a vampire by people esp when I was a teen but that’s just how people called edgelords like me. Still. Reo my beloved.)

There is honestly so many little things with Azuma that reminds me of myself like this that it makes me go nuts. If Hisoka is who I relate to in term of specific trauma and how I cope personally, Azuma is more like, the direct physical impact of my trauma on me and the way it makes me relate to others people, as well as just every little behaviors here and there that are just so specific.

One of the only thing I really don’t relate to Azuma about is his love for Alcohol but I think if you replace it with like, my addiction to juice it works out the same.

Oh and, that’s a stupid but funny thing to me, I project hard on how much the reason he keeps his hair long is a form of mental stability for him, because I legit keep my hair long for my own mental stability. I have tied ways too much of my recovery process to my hair that when I see Azuma coping with grief with his hairstyle and how almost cutting it would be him spiraling down, I felt seen.

also i have 0 stamina just like him.

ANOTHER THING is also the fact Azuma is genuinely yearning for connections with people but he spent so much of his life keeping people away that as much as he’s yearning for it, it takes him so long to be able to lower those walls because he’s been so used to keep people away that he can’t reply to this yearning. And the way how, once he actually ends up feeling this bit of vulnerability toward people, he would suddenly shut in like it suddenly scares him? Mood.

One last thing (i promise) (i think) is that, if it wasn't obvious from all my ranting.... So much of myself and the way i view myself is defined by my trauma. I struggle to exactly come to term with my identity in any shape or form that isn't deeply related to my trauma. Even if you asked me what my sexuality is (please don't), my actual answer would be completely shaped by the fact i have so much trauma linked to sexuality, romance and gender, that i don't want to process it at all and can't actually manage to "fit the boxes" because i cannot see myself as something else than my trauma, or explain my feelings without linking it to my trauma. Honestly at times i find it kinda cringeworthy from me because i really, really can't tell about anything about my identity without thinking of my various traumas (i talked about a few of them in those rankings but it's not even the tip of the iceberg for a lot of stuff.) And when i see the way Azuma is in particular, maybe i'm projecting, but i feel like a lot of it is the same. Like not processing his age because if he does it reminds him of how he outlived those he loved (which is an headcanon but com'on.) or how even his hair is linked to his trauma. Or how he doesn't drive because it's linked to his trauma. I feel SO seen.

If it wasn’t for the fact he genuinely loved and was loved by his family, I would have felt exactly the same about everything regarding him.

But I still give him a full mark because the way Azuma’s arc has affected me is beyond any possible words I could use. And also because I legit wrote above 2100 words just on how much I related to Azuma ALONE. Even Hisoka took me 800 WORDS. HELLO. Guy: 6/10 Back to general coping here, Guy isn’t exactly relatable to me except in well. For exemple the ways the others relate to him, especially Hisoka and Azuma. So his memory loss to cope with intense family trauma is relatable to me, the way he can have nightmares and night terrors is also hella relatable to me.

But something that’s more Guy that I relate to is the whole “Step dad kept talking down on him and verbally abusing him until Guy basically completely closed himself in” because man. I won’t elaborate but I’ve really felt from reading that verbal abuse the same way I felt thinking back to how my ex-step dad used to talk to me. It made me so angry on his behalf. And the way he internalized it to cope was something deeply relatable.

Another thing with Guy is the fact that Guy did genuinely believes himself inhuman and tbh there was a time when I was very young where I would catch myself unable to feel a bit of humanity mostly from how I kept shutting myself in. (The reason I don’t relate to it with Homare is that this “inhumanity” was never actually there even if Homare did believe in it. But for Guy he went the extra mile convincing himself to the point where he denied this humanity as far as possible in a self destructive way and :/).

SO YEAH Winter is like. Therapy for me. The problem with “Trauma: The Troupe” is that saying “I relate to the Winter troupe” means “I may have problems and so what.” And it sucks.

if you read that wordvomit, congratulation, was it worth it?

Take care!

#closes eyes and pretends i didn't just type all of that for azuma ANYWAY #bows down thank you for indulging in my fav passion of 'therapy via a3' the more we go #ichafantalks a3 #pandapillow #ichareply #also man Risky Game is going to absolutly murder me isn't it.

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scenecipriano · 3 years

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Curse of The Fold (3)

Chapter Three: Fate’s Hand

Description: The year was 1692, a time where women, children, and men feared for their lives of possibly being accused of witchcraft. Two men though, don’t allow this mass hysteria to come between them. Even though the madness Janus and Roman manage to keep their relationship a secret…That is until the summer of 1692.“The only thing that could hurt us. Is the curse of the fold.”

Characters: Patton Sanders, Roman Sanders, Remus Sanders, Janus Sanders, Logan Sanders, Virgil Sanders, and Thomas Sanders

Relationships: Roman/Janus

TW: Unsympathetic Patton, Unsympathetic Remus, major character death, death by hanging, death by fire, executions, witch trials.

Other(s): Based on Salem Witch Trials and not fully historically accurate.

Chapter TW: mentions of hanging, mentioned anxiety attacks/panic attacks.

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February 20th, 1692 Salem Massachusetts

It was another warm day, Roman wanted to go on another stroll like he had four days prior, (He wanted to see if Janus would be by the stream again) but his father said he needed him to stay behind. Roman forces a smile as he passes out bread and wine to his father’s churchgoers, he would rather be doing anything else than this, his father never made Remus do this tedious task.

“Are this bread and a small bit of wine for me or are you going to crush it some more in those strong hands of yours?”

Roman felt his heart leap into his throat, he looked up from the ground and felt his face heat up. Standing in front of him was Janus, that same smirk plastered on his scarred and freckled face.

Instead of the white dirty looking long-sleeved shirt and ill-fitting brown pants, he had on the day before, Janus sported a nice button-up short-sleeve white shirt and black slacks. His shoes were polished and the buckles were done up nicely, a black hood attached to a cloak was over Janus’ head, partially hiding his strawberry blonde locks.

“Hello, earth to Roman Harford?” Janus teases.

Roman shakes his head and hands the smaller man the small piece of bread and the small cup of wine. He watches as Janus eats the bread and takes a tentative sip of the wine, Roman forces himself to hold still when a drop of wine is left on Janus’ bottom lip.

Roman looks away when Janus darts his tongue out to lick the last bit of wine away.

“I-I didn’t know that you attended my father’s church services, how have I not noticed you before?”

Janus smiles and lowers his hood, Roman still feels as if his breath has been knocked out of him from the shorter man’s beauty.

“I only attend on Wednesdays, I don’t have the time on Sundays because I travel to the next town over to sell the remedies I’ve made for all kinds of ailments. I know you’re not supposed to work on the lord's day, but it’s the only time I’m not busy,” Janus explains, he steps to stand next to Roman allowing the next person to take their bread and wine.

“That would explain it… Normally I’m not here on Wednesday, but my father’s hand-picked choir boy was… accused.”

Roman whispers the last part, not wanting to start an uproar for mentioning ‘witches’ during church time. He shudders at the memory of Virgil being dragged away last night by the Marshall, Roman hopes his father can save Virgil from the rope.

“Such a shame, is it not? These poor people… do you believe this choir boy should have been…” Janus takes a conspiratorial look around before whispering, “accused.”

Roman couldn’t help the small smile that broke out across his face, something was amusing about Janus making fun of the way he treats the trials and how he chooses to speak of them.

“No… He’s just… A little unusual. He has these attacks, you see. Virgil… that’s his name by the way… but… Virgil has these moments of not being able to breathe and sobbing uncontrollably while screaming. Before he was… taken away, he had an attack and lashed out hatefully against the stand-in priest for my father,” Roman pauses to offer a woman a small piece of bread along with her own cup of wine.

“The… The priest accused Virgil of allowing Satan in his body… came up with this whole tale of how Virgil made a deal… I visited him this morning and he was fine, still shaky due to the circumstances but he was fine…”

Janus nods as he downs the rest of his wine, he grimaces at the taste, ‘ Surely the blood of Christ would taste better than this,’ he thinks as he stuffs the rest of the bread in his mouth, chewing quickly before swallowing.

“I don’t believe this… Virgil was inflicted by Lucifer himself. A girl around our age is prone to those same fits, I was able to help her overcome them by giving her a remedy that had poppy’s and valerian mixed with some boiled water and sugar to add for taste. I still have some left if you would like a bottle to take to your friend.”

Roman blinks and stares at Janus for a moment, he couldn’t tell if the smaller man was being serious or not, but he decides to humor him.

“Okay… We’ll wait, you can give it to me and I’ll hold onto it. When he has another fit I’ll give it to him and see if it helps him.”

Janus smiles and bows his head, Roman fights the urge to tilt his head back up so he can stare into those beautiful mismatched eyes.

“Very well… Meet me tonight, by the stream where you first saw me. I’ll be waiting there with the mixture,” Janus hands Roman his empty cup and turns to leave.

He stops and glances over his shoulder, his pink lips tilted up into a small smirk, “Don’t keep me waiting, Roman Harford, I’m not known for my patience,” he says as he turns away pulling his hood back over his head.

Roman watches as Janus walks away, the smaller man doesn’t have to fight through the citizens to make a path for him, not wishing to be in Janus’ way as he makes his trek back into the woods from where he came.

“Roman? What’re you staring at, kiddo?”

Roman turns back, his father standing in front of him. The long line of parishioners now disbursed after receiving their bread and wine.

“Oh… Nothing, there were just some birds around is all,” Roman lies.

He wasn’t sure why he chose to lie to his father, but something told him that lying about Janus’ presence was the best way to go right now.

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That night, Roman waits for his brother and father to fall asleep before setting out to meet Janus at the stream. Shockingly the night was warm, albeit not that warm but it was warm enough for Roman to not need all kinds of layers as he needed the days before and after he met Janus within the woods.

Roman slowly makes his way through the woods, judging only by his sense of hearing to make his way through safely. He thought about bringing a lantern with him but was scared the light would awaken someone.

“Some used to say that I’d never scale this mountain, now that I’m close they shut their eyes and draw their curtains~.”

Roman stops when he hears that angelic voice, he couldn’t help the smile that tugged on his face, ‘ Like a siren luring a sailor into a deadly trap…’

He trudges ahead as Janus’ singing fills the once quiet woods, “Those who don’t believe, will always encourage defeat~.”

The singing grows closer as does the sound of the trickling stream that Roman caught Janus at all those days ago.

Once the sound of the stream is practically roaring through his ears, Roman can’t help but take refuge behind the same tree he had four days prior.

“They’ll scream and shout and scold, for the curse of the fold~.”

Roman peeks out and inhales sharply, there stood Janus, in the same clothes from earlier next to the stream of water. Moonlight bathed him in its pale light, making him look even more breathtaking within the darkness of the night.

“I know you’re there, Roman. What did I tell you about keeping me waiting?”

Roman feels his face heat up as he steps out from behind the tree, he offers Janus a sheepish smile as he steps forward.

‘ Lord help me in the presence of this gorgeous man.’

“I apologize… I just wanted to hear the beautiful singing that I’ve missed for the past four days,” says Roman, trying his best to put on a smooth tone in hopes of flustering Janus for once.

Janus fights off a blush as he plasters on a smirk, “Well… Maybe if you come to visit me more often you’ll be blessed to hear my singing. Until then, I believe I owe you something for your friend's ailment, yes?”

Roman nods, if he were being completely honest, he had forgotten that the intentional reason for this meeting was for Virgil.

Janus pulls a small bottle from the pocket of his cloak, the liquid on the inside was pale pink, it was sealed with a normal brown cork.

“When you give this to him, make sure you only give about a tablespoon and that’s it. Too much could make him sick if it helps him and you need more than just let me know.”

Roman takes the bottle and stuffs it into the pocket of his pants, he hesitates for a moment before speaking again.

“How will I find you, if he needs more? You’re not always going to be at this stream… and you won’t know when I’ll need some more.”

Janus smirks and turns away from the taller man, “You’ll find me… All you’ll have to do is let fate guide you. I hope your friend comes out of this alive, Roman, have a safe walk back.”

Roman watches as Janus heads off into the woods, the red-head couldn’t help but bite his lip. Janus was a strange one, Roman couldn’t help but feel himself being pulled to him, wanting to find out more about this mysterious man who lives in the woods.

He takes a breath and turns his back, Roman looks behind him once more before making the quiet trek back home.

The one thing they both missed was the pair of green eyes that were watching them behind the bushes close by.

They both missed the manic smile that spread across a mustached face.

“Well, Ro-Ro seems to have a new friend… I wonder how this is going to play out.”

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A/N: Early update boop!

~TAGLIST~ @imma-potatoo

#sanders sides #roman sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #virgil sanders mentioned #tw unsympathetic patton #tw unsympathetic remus #tw mentions of hanging #tw implied anxiety attacks/panic attacks #tw major character death #not in this chapter #but since its up top #might as well tag it

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lady-griffin · 4 years

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Things Got Crazy at a Slumber Party...

I would just like to say the title of this episode is so misleading…nothing crazy happened. False Advertising!

Eat the Rich

Seeing Anne’s room made me want to talk to her and urge her to revolt against the rich and distribute their wealth.

Spare Katarina, but rise up and revolt.

When I first saw her room, I legit thought Katarina was going to be surprised by Anne’s room and maybe (somehow by the end of the episode) was going to redecorate it and upgrade it for Anne…but nope. That idea quickly faded the second it went into my head.

Revolt against the aristocrats, Anne.

Spare Katarina, but rise up and fight.

Eat the rich!

No, but in all seriousness, sometimes I have problems with anime (stories in general) where the affluent and opulent wealth of characters is just the background and it’s never going to be address in all seriousness. Particularly when they show that not everyone is as wealthy…

Why show Anne’s room to be like, if you’re never going to actually talk about it nor resolve the wealth gap. Why show her room to be depressing looking? Why not just give her a nice room? It doesn’t have to be Katarina’s room’s level of finery, but something.

That aside, let’s continue onward to the rest of the episode.

Katarina running off to tell everyone (and to thank them) for her making it to the second year, was adorable. Katarina throughout this episode was so goddamn precious.

LOOK AT HER!

JUST LOOK AT HER!

I just…Katarina must be protected at all costs. She is the best girl that ever existed.

I love this beautiful, bisexual-mess of an idiot. She’s perfection.

I’m still mad at Anne for denying Katarina’s original PJ choices. How dare you Anne! How dare you deprive me of that. How dare you!

I’m going to discuss the episode in more detail further down, so we’re going to get into some spoiler territory (I guess?). So, you’ve been warned.

Potential Spoilers Below

Anne’s view on each of the character’s feelings for Katarina was fantastic.

Geordo’s Feelings

While we didn’t actually get to see it, which was disappointing, Anne being scared of Geordo for initially telling Katarina that her scar was gone was hilarious. I am disappointed we haven’t seen Geordo at his true level of horrifying, but still…

Just his eyes narrowing may have cut a few years off of Anne’s life alone.

Keith’s Feelings

Poor Keith. Again, I don’t ship them, but still you still gotta feel bad for him.

What is the purpose of others thinking you’re good-looking, if the one person you want doesn’t?

I love Keith and his mother. They’re hilarious.

Alan’s Feelings

OMG Alan, how have you not figured it out, yet. You’re playing the violin for vegetation at the request of Katarina…I just.

Alan sweetheart, you are in love with this woman.

I do like how he actually did it for Katarina. That’s so fucking funny.

But also, just look at this face, how could he not.

It’s a good thing Katarina doesn’t want any actual political power or anything like that, she would be unstoppable.

Mary’s Feelings

Mary is several levels above everyone else. No comparison.

She is subtly convincing Katarina that Katarina won’t do well as a Princess-Consort and has already figured out a way for them to leave and probably already has a manor set up by the sea, with a field already to go for the two of them (and Anne).

Mary is a bit scary in all honesty.

Nicol’s Feelings

Nicol’s cute smile was just adorable. Nicol x Katarina aren’t really one of my main ships, but I do love the contrast between these two.

Katarina this bright and bubbly ball of energy and sunshine and Nicol, a stoic statue who has trouble expressing himself, but can’t help but smile when he’s in Katarina’s presence.

Sophia’s Feelings

Sophia wanting Katarina to get with Nicol, even though she also loves Katarina is everything. Her listing off her brother’s good qualities (at random times) is hilarious to me. Always has been.

Sophia is just so damn cute.

Maria’s Feelings

Maria is giving Katarina all the treats. Smart Lady! She may have come late into the race for Katarina’s heart, but she’s playing to win.

In general, I like how we got quick snippets of everyone’s feelings for Katarina. I also love how the anime, legit just says the girls are in love with Katarina. I’ll always appreciate that.

Anne and Katarina

Anne’s POV in this episode was just everything. I’m so glad the anime adapted it from the Light Novel, seeing as the Manga just ignored it. I’m so very happy.

When she lifted up her sleeve to reveal the burn marks, I gasped.

I wasn’t sure if the Anime was going to actually include that part (the Manga did skip over it), so I’m very happy the anime chose to include Anne’s full backstory.

It makes me sad, but it’s good angst.

It’s not the same as the Light Novel, but Anne’s backstory and her relationship with Katarina was everything. That little montage of Anne and Katarina… my heart can’t handle such cuteness.

Also, I genuinely really love how when Katarina asked Anne’s father to not take Anne away, she had a bit of a bratty vibe to her. Very similar to Katarina before she regained her memories.

Even though she has her memories, Katarina is still a kid. And I just love that.

Anne refusing her father’s order. Mwah!

I really appreciate how the anime changed that scene from the Light Novel to Anne standing up for herself and actually speaking up.

Well Done! Good Choice!

Also, Luigi Claes stepping in to talk to the Baron himself was just nice to see.

It was great seeing him being intimidating and such. While Katarina sees him as her dopey, doting father, there is more to him.

In the LN, it’s made clear that he learned about the man Anne’s father wanted to marry her off to and was not happy with that and came to Anne’s defense.

But I also just like how a part of it, is probably because Katarina wanted Anne to stay with her (and Anne wanted the same thing) and Luigi can’t deny his daughter anything.

Luigi Claes doing the right thing (because it’s the right thing) but also, because he’s the kind of father, who will give his daughter anything. There’s a reason why OG Katarina was so spoiled.

The fact that Katarina knew Anne would come into her room in the middle of the night to put her covers back on her, was just so sweet.

Because Anne probably thought Katarina never knew she even did that, but of course Katarina knew.

Katarina giving gifts to Anne and being the first person to ever give her a birthday present…I swear I’m not crying, you’re crying.

I LOVE THESE TWO!

I guess while it’s never stated, I presume all the other stuff in the box were gifts from Katarina or objects related to a fond memory Anne has of Katarina.

Which gives me a headcanon.

Headcanon – Everyone has kept all the gifts they’ve ever received from Katarina as well as certain items they associate with a specific time or event they shared with Katarina.

We know from the Light Novels, that Keith has kept all the birthday presents he’s ever received from Katarina. And I thought it was said he kept the remnants of the door Katarina broke down, but I couldn’t confirm that. But now that’s a headcanon of mine as well.

More specifically, I now have the headcanon that either Geordo or Alan kept the snake toy that Katarina first threw at Geordo all those years ago.

Probably Alan, as that memory is 100% positive one for him. While for Geordo, that memory probably mixed at best.

There is something cute about Geordo being scared of that toy, telling on Katarina and getting her in trouble, but nonetheless keeping that dreaded fake snake.

Anne and Katarina and their whole relationship was just everything. They were truly and absolutely the highlight of this episode. My heart was ready to burst.

Sleepover

Overall, it was very cute. It was nice seeing the girl’s hang out and be in their pajamas.

Katarina saving Anne from the girls’ question about marriage, was just very nice and does show Katarina is not as dense as we may think. She’s aware.

I will say, though, it was a bit lacking in comparison to the bonus Manga chapter in Vol. 5 (LN).

Particularly in regards to Mary. I mean just look at Mary in the Light Novel for comparison. It almost feels like a different scene.

Also, while I did realize this last week.

Sophia’s wish in romance and how over-the-top, pure fantasy, based on romance novels her ideas actually are, really makes her fantasy in last week’s episode (I became Engulfed by Desire) feel way more off.

And just not accurate to Sophia’s character.

You’re telling me that Nicol in his amplified fantasy is basically Tuxedo Mask jumping around Venice with Katarina, but Sophia’s amplified fantasy is just her being in her family’s library with Katarina.

I call bullshit.

Sophia’s desire book fantasy, should’ve been the most crazy and over top thing ever. 100%. And this episode confirms that.

Both Maria and Katarina wanting to cook for their partner is very lovely and shows their compatibility.

I am a bit disappointed that we didn’t get to see the boys’ sleepover, but Nicol’s eyes sparkling when he heard that the sleepover would include boy’s talk was just too precious.

His thoughts are definitely much more innocent in comparison to what Sophia was thinking when she heard about Boy’s Talk…I love Sophia.

Geordo and Katarina

I was really looking forward to seeing Ch.17.5 be adapted to the anime, but unfortunately, I was thoroughly disappointed by it.

It was much less sweet, cute and funny then it was in the Manga. Seeing the scene in the anime just made me want to read the Manga chapter again.

Seriously, you don’t have to read the whole Manga (you should though), but do yourself a favor and read Ch. 17.5. It’s amazing!

Just look at this dork

This was a golden opportunity for the anime, to really show Geordo’s feelings and relationship with Katarina from his perspective. And just endear the audience to him.

They completely dropped the ball.

I feel like the anime doesn’t understand or even like Geordo’s character. He seems less dynamic, engaging and interesting in the anime. And the aspects that make very endearing and heartfelt, are basically taken out.

He hardly comes across as the leading male…which is disappointing for me, since I really love Geordo and Geordo x Katarina.

I am very disappointed with the treatment of Geordo. The anime is doing a disservice to him, in my opinion. Especially in comparison to Alan who the anime has added extra moments for.

I do appreciate those extra Alan moments, but I would appreciate them a lot more if it didn’t feel like Geordo was being left out.

Nonetheless, Geordo’s face when he saw everyone else and when saw that they all got Katarina gardening shears as well was fantastic!

Katarina Speaks Two Languages Headcanon

I mean this episode basically confirmed that. With Katarina writing the letter to Geordo, but writing everyone’s name in Kanji (?) on their gardening uniforms.

While we do have Keith’s and Duchess Claes’ signs not being written in the country’s language, that’s more for comedy sake as those signs don’t exist in reality.

But did anyone in the Harem wonder, why Katarina wrote their names in an entirely different language? I just love the idea of everyone being shocked to learn that Katarina can speak and write fluently in two languages.

Conclusion

I overall enjoyed this episode.

Some scenes I found a bit lacking (or more than a bit) in comparison to what they were based off of from the Manga or Light Novel. I will say I liked how this episode did take its material from the Light Novels and the bonus chapter in the Manga, as well as adding their own bits and pieces.

It was well done.

I’m definitely salty over how wrong they got Ch. 17.5. I just…at times it feels like the anime gets the core of certain scenes and characters (without doing the exact same thing from the LN or Manga or adding their own scenes) just right, but for Geordo they just seem to miss the mark.

Also, the material from Ch. 17.5 just felt like it was added onto the end, it didn’t really go with the rest of the episode…

And in relation to that, Mary being subdued in the sleepover scene was disappointing as well.

I understand there are budgets and restrictions, so I’m hoping they’re saving it for the last three episodes.

Anne and Katarina were the clear highlight of this episode. Without them being the focus of the episode, I would’ve found it less enjoyable, even with all the cute and precious moments we got to see.

But overall, a lovely episode with so many precious moments and it gave me so many feels in regards to Anne and her relationship with Katarina. So many!

#Katarina Claes #Anne Shelley #Hamefura #Bakarina #Otome game no hametsu flag #destruction flag otome #my next life as a villainess #Geordo Stuart #Mary Hunt #Maria Campbell #Alan Stuart #Sophia Ascart #Keith Claes

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best-enemies · 3 years

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I have to write an actual review on Gallifrey TW4 for the podcast I’m in but I have a writer’s block, so here are some of my thoughts on the box because I need to yell about it somewhere and my friends are pissed that I keep yelling on twitter. Spoilers ahead!

Don’t expect anything coherent to come out of this post I’m just going to throw stuff in this post and if you get it you get it lol. It’s not like I have fully recovered from the blow anyway...

Deception is a great introdution to the box and probably one of the best Gallifrey audios. I hate it when the OT4 gets separated (and that it happens all the time!), and in this case it happens between Narvin and Leela. However, it’s always great to see Leela working on her own and interacting with other people. When she tried to save those people from the resistance, the way she dealt with the situation even when she felt lost because she couldn’t trust her senses - a tool Leela values a lot as a warrior and a hunter - was absolutely incredible and it reminded me (not that I could ever forget that) of how much I love and admire her.

Listening to them being inside the distortion field felt like a really bad trip

All I could think throughout the box and not just Deception is that Leela had a crush on Eris and man I can’t blame her at all not only he was a great guy he’s really good looking and I got a crush on him too akshdashdkjaks

I don’t think I say this enough, but I really like Livia. She’s not evil, she just makes a lot of bad choices and she has this problem of being too much on the fence, which is not the characteristic of a true leader. She was never one. But still, even if I don’t remember the content of the earlier audios she’s in I’ve always liked her. And I liked that she finally chose a side in the end. I mean, she did when she helped the resistance, and that was a good beginning.

Also can I interest you with my headcanon that she was Romana’s girlfriend at the Academy and they broke up? Lol Anyways, when she heard that Romana had “died” she was shocked and later on complimented her as a person and I kind of wish we saw more of them on good terms

Now, on Dissolution: I love Narvin. That’s pretty much it lol. Before starting Gallifrey my friend gave me a spoiler which was basically, “you’re gonna love Narvin”. Well, at first I really liked his voice - it was funny and cute and voices are an important thing to me. Of course, even if he seemed funny to me, unfortunately he was a total xenophobic asshole. He had convictions, he had layers which made him very interesting, but still, an asshole. Which makes me really proud to see how far he has come, how much he’s grown. When he joined Romana’s side I soon realized that my friend was right; Narvin had one of the best redemption arcs I’ve ever seen. He went from Romana’s political rival, if I could put it that way, to one of her most trusted allies and best friends. And he found out that he could still fight for and protect his home, but using the right tools, doing it the right way. Dissolution showed that contrast between the old Narvin and what he wanted and the new Narvin, and honestly? I could almost call this episode a moment of relief amongst the chaos. Narvin has become one of my favorite characters in the Whoniverse and one of my all time favorites as well.

Alright... now we get to Beyond *deep breaths*. So let’s start from the beginning, shall we? I spent months since listening to Unity living in a total hell not knowing if Romana was alive or not. I couldn’t believe that that was her ending, that she wouldn’t show up again for their last hurrah, and that my favorite companion ever was gone forever. But then, BF announced the cover, and the description for the episodes, and her name came up, and I could finally breath. My friend and I started theorizing that maybe Braxiatel had dematerialized the TARDIS around her and saved her in the last second - which is kind of what happened, I mean, the description said he wasn’t ready to give up on her! So they go to that place called Beyond, and shit happens. Those ravenous bitches were there eating people and shit. They even ate Narvin - I almost started crying in the middle of the bus, telling myself he wasn’t our Narvin, but he was a Narvin and it still hurt. I wanted to fight those ravenous myself. And not just that, Romana went through hell watching Leela die in front of her, and her reaction was really heartbreaking.

Aaand that kind of brings me to a point here, something that bothered me. Romana and Brax, as always, spent the audio bickering a little, but they had their moments as well. Like when Brax says that it’s good to see her smile again, when he says (sorry I don’t remember it word by word) something like, she couldn’t die and that she’s supposed to be the best of the Time Lords, when she calls him her friend, and when she asks with a soft voice if he’s coming back to Gallifrey. And it was sweet. Like, they have a lot of issues, but they also have good feelings towards each other. Despite everything they care about each other, and it shows. Which is why I got really confused about Romana’s reaction when Brax was eaten by the ravenous. I remember I even thought she wasn’t around when it happened, that he had left and was somewhere else (I have a little difficulty paying attention), but then my friend said she was. So I was like... wait, she saw her friend, whom she’s known for most of her life (and more than she can even remember) die in a truly horrible way and didn’t even react to that? I’m not blaming Romana, I think this is really out of character for her. She may have difficulty expressing her feelings but she would never, ever react so coldly to the death of a friend.

Now, on Brax’s death... I was really devastated. At first, as always I got confused and thought the older Brax was an older version of him, somehow. Even if he died, I was like, this is confusing, but it’s Brax? So I was weary, but still, I thought “well at least he’s safe now, on another universe in the Beyond”. But then my friend said “no, that’s an alternative Brax, the one we know is dead”. And that’s when I felt my stomach drop. IT HURT SO BAD. I’ll be honest and say I don’t know everything about Brax, or about the depth of his character, I’m still very early on the Benny audios and only have listened to him on Gally and a few audios here and there. People who have more knowledge on him say that the way he was written wasn’t really accurate, and that can be true, but I won’t get into that because I don’t know for myself. Still, Brax is one of the best and most interesting characters I’ve ever known. I loved him from the beginning. I got mad at him so many times during the series, felt as betrayed as Romana did, heard about a lot of dark shit he’s done, but still I could never hate him. I got a little bit too attached to him, which is why his death felt absurd and unnecessarily cruel. I don’t think for a moment that Brax deserved that, as I said I don’t know everything about him but something in my heart tells me that things could’ve gone another way. I knew he could die in the finale but not like this. And it’s a bit hard to put into words how much I hate the ending he got and how much I’ll miss him. I just hope he comes back, I mean, he always does, BF writers need to figure something out I don’t even care lol

I had to edit the post because my dumb ass forgot about one of my favorite and at the same time one of the most bittersweet moments of Beyond: Brax asking about the Doctor and saying leaving Gallifrey was a “family thing”. I love them and there isn’t enough stuff out there from the Lungbarrow siblings for me. He talks so fondly of the Doctor and now all I think about is that he never mentioned him in the series but thought of him on the last hours of his life... brb I’m gonna go cry in the bathroom

Oh god. Okay, Homecoming. I’ll start on a light note and say some stuff about Hot Rassilon: Richard Armitage nailed it. I’ve always liked him as an actor and I got thrilled when he was announced. His voice is like, the one I want to hear when I get my name called up in Heaven - or Hell, which is where I’m going - and his speeches were really powerful. Still, I wish they could’ve given him more to do. Of course, I understand that this is where they wanted to go with him - Hot Rassilon going batshit crazy and calling himself a god and coming up with some stupid fanfiction about the Time Lords becoming gods of everything, yada yada. I loved his interactions with the Dalek Emperor, the first thing I thought (besides the fact that it was really funny) was that it showed two despots with a god complex playing chess with the universe and discarding their people as garbage, fighting for their own personal power and not for the collective. Of course, I don’t expect the Daleks to care about each other - they want to spread throughout the galaxies and gain absolute power, not bring social well-being to their own. But that should apply to the Time Lord Society, and we see that Hot Rassilon doens’t give a flying fuck about that.

I feel like I should reinforce the fact that I actually hate Rassilon. I call him hot but I hate him. I can do both

Once again, I need to point out the emotional moments between the galligang. It all felt so off. As someone pointed out here (sorry, I saw the post but don’t recall who said it now): it’s a war and there’s little time for grief, however, it’s not like they’re just grieving the loss of a group of people they’re not familiar with. The galligang are the closest thing they have to a family with each other. They’ve been through all sorts of things together, created a deep bond and have crossed the universe to find each other. And then, that Dalek ship blows up, with Narvin still in it, and... nothing. Leela even asked Romana if they could’ve done something and she says if the bracelet thingy had been working he would’ve come back already. And that’s it. At first I didn’t even understand, I was like “wait, he was really still inside the ship? And it blew up?”, because once again, I couldn’t tell from the way they reacted, I was only sure when they had that exchange. And of course, I started sobbing, because my favorite character was dead. I guess the writers wanted to focus on the war and political aspects and shit but did they forget that Gallifrey was about these three specific people and that their relationship was the core of the series, not just the politics?

Okay, moving on. Leela and Romana once again end up on Gallifrey and run into Hot Rassilon. Did I mention I found him a bit scary? Well, I did mark me down as scared & horny.

Aaaaaand he decides to lock Romana up in a pocket universe. It surprised me, because I thought he would execute her. I find that he wanted to do that because Romana was the president who wanted to take Gallifrey into the future, to make it a prosperous and advanced society who left all their fears of the unknown and prejudices behind. And now he locked her up in the past. Get it? I don’t know, maybe that’s just me, but this was the first thing I thought. But I cannot even begin to tell you all how RELIEVED I am that she’s alive, and that there could be a possibility - even if a very tiny one - that she could escape. It’s Doctor Who, so everything is possible. EDIT: Now I’m sad because Leela will die after the end of the Time War and Romana will know about that, and all her friends are gone, and she believes the Doctor isn’t the man she once knew so she can’t rely on him, and she’s alone, and I’m FUMING because I’m still processing the whole thing and I hadn’t realized that. She’s totally alone and now I’m crying once again. I HATE IT HERE

As for Leela, I want to see what’s next for her. I haven’t gotten into the other Time War stuff yet, this is my first introduction to the actual thing, but I heard that she’s gonna fight alongside the War Doctor and might be on the War Doctor Begins boxset. But man listening to her and Romana having to depart like that broke my heart. And now I know that she’ll be protecting Gallifrey because of Romana, because Romana represents the best in Gallifrey.

*Phew* okay, that was a lot. I don’t even know if I covered everything, but I managed to make more sense than I thought I would at the beginning of this post. I don’t know man I’ve been crying for hours, went to sleep at 2am crying because of Narvin and Brax and woke up at 7am and my first thought was them, dying again... I don’t even know anymore, I guess I’ll either focus on uni and my job or curl up into a ball and cry for the rest of my life lolololol

Now I want to write a post with my theories on how the entire galligang is alive and in the epilogue in my head they have reunited and are all living together happily. Maybe it’ll be my next post.

#gallifrey spoilers

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