#not Gordon fucking Ramsey so shut the fuck up fr

[thenerdcommander]

I'm 5 fucking seconds from choosing to be homeless and live out of motels lads

#the abusive family is at it again #on this episode of My Family Is Shit: brother gripes that frozen food I made wasn't a 5 star meal; same brother shits all over my education #and r slurs me despite having graduated + college courses and he's nearly flunked 2 grades and gets most of his “knowledge” from Andrew #Tate; both brothers bash me for wanting sterilization claiming it makes me an awful person then proceeding to tell me that 'no one would #ever *want* to rape me' when I brought that up as a concern and that I 'need to trust people more' #when in fact we are in one of the reddest states and they haaaaaaaaate childfree AFABs here plus I get perceived as a lesbian a lot #I'm sorry but you don't get to decide what I do/don't do with my body and me not wanting kids by ANY means at all does not make me a bad #person; I DON'T owe anyone trust when they haven't earned it; and fuck off with your degrading comments about my weight and appearance we #aren't playing the “you owe men conventional attractiveness” game #I owe no one a baby ESPECIALLY not abusers #and on the note of the food I owe no one a good culinary experience. This is not a restaurant; I didn't go to culinary school; and you're #not Gordon fucking Ramsey so shut the fuck up fr

[super-unpredictable98]

T(UA) | Umbrella Academy x My Hero Academia Crossover

Part 3: SOS Umbrella

Warning: Strong language, mention of death and abuse, Bakugou being Bakugou, very mild sexual content

Words: 2k | (Masterlist) | Part 1 | Part 2

"I didn't see you come in last night, did you kiss him? Did you kiss Kaminari?" Klaus shook Vicky awake.

"Jesus, do you wanna kill me?" she yawned. "No, we just talked."

"Talked with your lips on his lips, your tongue on his tongue while little sparks of electricity light up the Japanese night?"

"No, with my lips on... Nowhere. He did show me how static electricity feels on the palms of my hands, that was kinda romantic."

"Booo, you're so boring, Victoria Maria!" he threw a blazer at her, heading to the door. "Come on, yesterday at dinner a girl offered to let you borrow her clothes for the party tonight or make you some new ones."

"Which girl?"

"Yaoyu... Yaoyo... Momo, her name is Momo."

"Oh, the creation girl! I need to thank her, she's too sweet. How about Diego and Jiro? And you and Aoyama?" she asked as she followed her brother out of the room.

"Diego and Jiro were making out all night long, and Aoyama... Is shy."

"So you're giving me shit for not kissing Kaminari but you didn't kiss your date either? Would you look at that!"

"Well, at least I kissed someone already!" Klaus stuck his tongue out defiantly. "You mouth virgin!"

"Oh, freckled freak never kissed a boy, why am I not surprised?" Bakugou laughed as he passed by the siblings. He had seen her with Kaminari the night before and though he would never admit it, he didn't really like it... Well, he hated it.

"Shut up, Gordon Ramsey!" Klaus yelled. "This fucking kid, I wish he could spend a few weeks with dad, see if he's so tough then. He'd wanna blow his own head off."

"Just ignore him, stupid bullies like him just want attention," Vicky said despite her feelings being hurt with every single word, but she was used to that sort of thing, which means she was also great at hiding it. "Hey there, Pikachu."

"That's the nicest thing anyone has ever called me," Kaminari grinned as they joined. "Happy birthday, by the way!"

"Make sure to give her a nice gift," Mineta giggled, everything that kid said had a double meaning. "A nice, deep one."

"Shut up!" he hissed, usually he was the first one to laugh at his friend's antics, but he really didn't wanna scare her off and the pervy route didn't seem to work all that well for either of them. "He's just kidding, I'd like to get you something though."

"You don't have to," Vicky blushed slightly. "I never get any gifts, just the party is more than enough."

"You never get gifts?"

"Dad doesn't believe in gifts. He says giving us clothes, food, and a house is enough," Klaus explained. "But I know something you could give her and she would absolutely love! A dance, tonight."

"I'll dance with you," Kirishima offered, showing his fangs in a dazzling smile.

"Hey! I'm the one she's dancing with," Karminari snapped and his friends laughed. "Not manly! Not manly at all!"

"Has anyone seen Aoyama?" Klaus asked.

"He doesn't usually eat with us," Ashido said as she joined. "I almost never see him here."

"Oh, I see," he tried not to show any disappointment. "And Yao-Momo? She wanted to see us about the outfit for tonight."

"She's over there with Todoroki and Hagakure," Ashido pointed. "So, are you excited to go back home tomorrow? You must miss it, right? I miss home all the time since I moved to the dorm."

"Home..." Vicky took her last bite and sighed. "I- I guess. Will you guys excuse me for a moment? I forgot something in my room, I'll see you guys in a little bit."

Without saying anything else, she took her tray and left. Klaus knew that would be a delicate topic, she was (along with himself) the one who suffered the most back home with her training schedule, their father wanted to make her into an absolutely indestructible being, and he was willing to push any limit.

Vicky thought about locking herself in her room and just crying, but just the idea felt suffocating, she needed fresh air, so she chose to lay down outside, the yard right in front of the 1-A dorm. The sun made all that grass warm, it felt like being hugged, exactly what she needed.

"Are you hurt?" that deep, lazy voice asked and though her vision was blurred by tears, she could recognize Aizawa, looking down at her.

"Why do people keep asking me that? Do you only cry when you're hurt?" she sat up, wiping her tears away.

"I don't cry," he said completely serious, kneeling by her side.

"I don't believe you."

"What happened, Die Hard?"

"Don't call me Die Hard, I'm Vicky, just Vicky."

"Why are you sad? Did Bakugou say something to you?"

"How do you know about Bakugou?"

"I watched the fight, he was... Harsh. He got sent to the principal's office for that comment, he was punished already."

"Yeah, but that's just how he is. That's not why I'm sad."

"Then why?"

"Because I leave tomorrow. Part of me had forgotten, I guess."

"I thought you'd be excited to go back home. See your other siblings and your father."

"I don't wanna go, Aizawa sensei. I don't wanna go back. I'm scared!"

"Scared of what?" his expression darkened with worry.

"I always knew the way I was raised wasn't right... But seeing how the kids are here, it just made me so jealous. They worry about tests and crushes, not just villains. I wanted to stay and have All Might look after me. He's the only adult that has ever treated me like I matter, he cares about my feelings."

"Your dad doesn't treat you like you matter?"

"No, he treats me like a steel wall or a bulletproof vest. Sometimes I think that each time he shoots me, he's hoping the bullet will finally kill me. He treats me like trash, he never once hugged me, or said he's proud of me, or that he loves me. I'm like a machine, I'm there to serve a purpose. Over the last two days, I've felt more loved than I've ever felt in 16 years."

"I'm so sorry," Aizawa embraced her without thinking twice. That wasn't something he usually did, at all, but the look on her face was so pitiful, he couldn't think of anything else.

"My brother, Five, he ran away from home and never came back," she mumbled. "Maybe I can do the same."

"Hey, don't cry, I'll talk to Mr. Principal."

"Would you do that for us?"

"As a hero, as a teacher, and as a human being, I can't just turn my back on this situation, kids shouldn't be scared to go home. Don't worry, Di- Vicky."

——————————————————

"We can't let the Umbrella kids go back tomorrow," Aizawa said, he was usually very standoffish and didn't like to show he cared, but he couldn't ignore the situation after Vicky's appeal. "In fact, we should probably find a way to bring the other two here as well."

"Why do you say that?" Headmaster Nezu asked.

"I just came from the yard, Die Hard is crying her eyes out because she has to go back, these kids are being abused."

"I had that suspicion too," All Might added. "I just didn't know what to do or how to ask."

"Abused? I know how Reginald can be, he's very severe, but..." Nezu mused, that was a serious accusation.

"She told me that All Might was the first adult in her life that ever treated her like she matters. She said back home her father not only overworks them, but also never once gave them a single hug, said I love you, or anything that a father should do. She's terrified to go back, and I imagine her siblings must be as well, she's considering running away. Apparently one of her brothers already did that a few years back."

"W-well," All Might felt that weird tightness in his chest, she really said that? Even after everything that happened and how scared she was with his true form... "Maybe we could benefit from having the kids here for the Sports Festival?"

"I'll see what I can do," Nezu nodded.

Meanwhile, the kids were getting ready for the party. Klaus and Vicky went to Yaoyorozu's room to look for an outfit that would fit, but all of them had one problem in common:

"I don't have enough," Victoria cried looking in the mirror as the yellow strapless dress nearly slid down her body, she had to hold it up to keep it in place. "I thought I had big boobs, but you take the cake."

"Oh, I see," Momo blushed and Klaus exploded laughing. "I can make you something, it's no trouble. What do you like to wear?"

"I like punk and rock... So maybe something very Avril Lavigne?"

"Very what?"

"You don't know who Avril Lavigne is?" Klaus asked, which dimension was that where kids never screamed Sk8ter Boi at the top of their lungs?

"No, am I supposed to?"

"I guess not... Um, let's see," Vicky mused, trying to explain the image in her head. "How about a dress with a big skirt, pink and black with lace at the bottom, and maybe the top kinda looks like the mixture of a corset and a dress shirt with a cute little tie?"

"Okay, that's very specific," Momo browsed through her atomic dictionary, visualizing all the aspects of the dress and the materials she would need.

A weird shine covered her exposed thigh, almost like little glittery explosions on her skin as a piece of black fabric started coming out. It was freaky to watch, but also very cool. Yaoyorozu pulled out a full dress and held it up.

"Like this?" she asked expectantly.

"YES! Exactly like this," Vicky gasped, amazed at how wonderful it was. "God, you're like my fairy godmother, thank you so much!"

"Oh, it was nothing, it's the least I can do as a birthday gift for you guys... Do you want me to make you a suit or something, Séanse?"

"Can I have a dress as well?"

"Um, sure..."

"Okay, mine will be blue, tight, with sequins, and spaghetti straps. Can you do that?" his eyes lit up with the idea of it. He was rarely able to wear what he liked, so he was gonna go all out for that party.

"Of course, just give me a second, I've never made sequins before."

At that same time, in the living room, Kaminari and Mineta were about freaking out, not about clothes, but something much different:

"WHAT IF SHE THINKS I'M A TERRIBLE KISSER?" Kaminari cried, covering his eyes with his forearm.

"You have to use as much tongue as you can, so she thinks you have experience," Mineta said. "And hands straight to the ass! You can't waste time, she's leaving tomorrow!"

"She already knows I never kissed anyone," he shook his head. "I told her during our date yesterday."

"Are you fucking stupid?"

"Yes, you both are," Bakugou grunted. "Sparky, follow his advice and she'll lever look at you again."

"What do I do then? You have more experience with the girls?" Kaminari asked hopeful.

"Shut up! I'm not your relationship therapist!" he barked. "Why should I help you?"

"Cause we're friends?"

"You're not my friend," he muttered on the way to his room. "Just don't disrespect her, okay? You'll make a fool of yourself and her brothers will kick your ass... Hell, she'll kick your ass."

"What's all the fuss about?" Ashido joined, followed by Jiro.

"Kaminari doesn't know how to kiss," she laughed.

"DON'T YOU USE THOSE EARPHONES TO SPY ON ME!" he screamed.

"Fine then, I guess I won't give you any advice."

"No, please do! Please do! I'm desperate!"

"Fine, let's start with the basics..."

"The children are so excited aren't they?" All Might watched them from the porch with a sad smile. "I can't believe this is their first birthday party, it's so cruel."

"Should we let them know about Hargreeves-san's decision?" Aizawa asked, shaking his head defeated.

"No, not today, let them have fun tonight, it's the first time I see them not looking worried. We can discuss that with them in the morning."

Tag List: @elliethesuperfruitlover @firstpersonnarrator @spanishmossmagnolia @a-ghoulish-tale @seanfalco

#the umbrella academy imagine #the umbrella academy fanfic #the umbrella academy klaus #the umbrella academy #tua imagine #tua klaus #tua fanfic #tua #klaus hargreeves #the eighth child #crossover #mha #mha fanfic #bnha #bnha fanfic #denki kaminari #katsuki bakugō #momo yaoyorozu #fanfic

[ao3feed-tododeku]

Yippee kay yay motherfucker!

yippee kay yay motherfucker! by bakuberrys

todoroki shouto -> bakugou katsuki gordon ramsey: icyhot sonburnt: go away im busy gordon ramsey: bruh, if i walk in there and you're tryna touch yourself to the ugly ass green teletubby one more time, imma fucking burn ur dick off bitch sonburnt: is that a threat or a promise gordon ramsey: OI SHUT THE FUCK UP AND OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR sonburnt: no bakugou, stop knocking on my door im busy gordon ramsey: u fucker guess imma open this shit myself gordon ramsey: WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU NAKED CUDDLING A PILLOW WITH FUCKING DEKUS FACE ON IT FUCKTARD sonburnt: why did you text me that, im right here?? "DIE!!" ---------- or, the students of class 3-A are all going through their own awakenings in unique ways and todoroki & bakugou especially doesn't know how to deal.

Words: 2151, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, My Hero Academia

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima Eijirou, Class 1-A, Class 1-B, Ashido Mina, Iida Tenya, Sero Hanta, Midoriya Izuku, Todoroki Shouto, Uraraka Ochako, Yaoyorozu Momo, Kaminari Denki, Asui Tsuyu, Toogata Mirio, Amajiki Tamaki, Aoyama Yuuga, Kouda Kouji, Tokoyami Fumikage, Hagakure Tooru, Satou Rikidou, Jirou Kyouka, Shouji Mezou, Shinsou Hitoshi, Ojiro Mashirao, Mineta Minoru, Awase Yousetsu, Monoma Neito

Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto, Kaminari Denki & Kirishima Eijirou, Ashido Mina/Shinsou Hitoshi, Hagakure Tooru/Ojiro Mashirao, Midoriya Izuku/Uraraka Ochako, Todoroki Shouto & Yaoyorozu Momo, Jirou Kyouka & Kaminari Denki, Kirishima Eijirou & Midoriya Izuku, mineta & death bc fuck him, Amajiki Tamaki/Toogata Mirio, Bakugou Katsuki & Uraraka Ochako, Awase Yousetsu/Uraraka Ochako, Asui Tsuyu & Uraraka Ochako, Jirou Kyouka/Yaoyorozu Momo, one sided aoyama/sero hanta, its more for funsies tho, Jirou Kyouka/Kaminari Denki

Additional Tags: crackhead babies, Jealous Todoroki Shouto, Pining Todoroki Shouto, lmao todo is so gone for deku its not even funny anymore, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, nah fr tho like mans needs to sort that shit out, Bad Pickup Lines, Confused Deku, this is crack but like kinda fluffy idek bruh, kaminari and sero are the biggest dorks, poor uraraka, uraraka is happy at the end tho dw, mineta dead, deku n baku are on decent terms, Kinda, Truth or Dare, bnha crack fic, BNHA chatfic, Party Games, Sleepovers, some ppl are mega straight, Humor, dont take this seriously, Everyone is an oblivious idiot, some relationships are established, Some angst, Fuck Endeavor Lives, theyre all dorks, theyre in their 3rd year, theyre around 17-18 yrs old, mineta can suck my donkeykong deadass

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24647305

#AO3 Feed #FanFiction #AO3 Tododeku Plus #❤️ #💛 #Tododeku Plus #Kiribaku· #Izuocha #♧ #R:T #A:Bakuberrys #Chat Fic #Angst