#normally i dont do these 'my dash did a thing' posts

[vulturedimension]

we are discussing our childhood passions on the dash tonight

#normally i dont do these 'my dash did a thing' posts #but like. i had to #mine #[tumblr] #1k #in less than 24 hours #jesus christ #2k #3k #technically rn it's at 2893 #but it's gonna get to 3k soon #for some reason #4k #almost #this has now reached at least 2 of the 6 blogs in this image #3/6 now #5k #WHY #also i did not anticipate how weird it is to see all those urls on the top stacked on each other #10k #15k

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

4/8/2024 eclipse notes

Overall it was a hopeful day for me despite the ever-looming sense of mourning. but the eclipse made it feel special. this eclipse was so mathematically rare because of the exact EXACT chiron conjunction. down to the minute. never experienced something so precise in my 15 yrs observing astrology.. i lit a candle for sammy & spent a while praying then did yoga n journalled outside as the eclipse waned. u couldnt see the full thing here but i saw a little ^.^

i've talked about chiron on the blog b4 but if ur not sure basically it's a major asteroid named after chiron the centaur, "The Wounded Healer". i feel that nickname sums up wat chiron's about, it's your deepest pain, isolation, rejection, & it's where your greatest potential to heal others (+yourself) can be brought forth. so chiron was turbo-activated today. it's digging up a lot of sh** for me truly. like this is rly crazy. but what i realized today is that i'm in the best place i've ever been to grieve, that was my eclipse revelation i spose.

and this is the most painful loss i have experienced in a loooong long time bcus this was someone i spoke to basically every day for the past year. but even then, i feel sm more equipped to get thru it , even if i feel rly quiet rn & not like myself, i kno it'll pass & i'll feel like i can be normal again. dnt feel much like posting rn but i'll get back to it eventually cus sammy rly loved my blog like sincerely i never felt embarrassed that he read my posts. although i do feel this is causing me another minor crisis over internet usage & how to exist online, i know i have to keep posting for sammy P..

yeah ahh the sadness comes in waves but im really glad i am where i am rn to process it all. it's weird to know this will impact my whole life going forward. it makes me think back to sain;t's death and how that changed the course of everything. except back then i was in the WORST environment to cope with it. it's so different now. saint's full name was saint chiron too !! so i always think of them when new chiron sky theatrics are happening. i'm like Awww Saint Wouldve loved writing a 10 paragraph introspective post about this ...They trained me in this manner :>

couldnt resist a late night ramble as i am ever so restless. tomorrow i have therapy for the first time since the day before denji ate a ziploc bag and got emergency surgery. i think that was like 3? weeks ago?? so basically i'm convinced time isnt real anymore because there's no way it hasn't been 3 months. rapid fire trauma lol o_o like please wonderful lord in heaven can we just pick, a struggle , one single struggle is enough. tysm. thats all for now.. trying not to scroll the dash because everything make me feel too crazy rn so pls dont think im ignoring u everyone Ok ilu.. gn

[polyamorouspunk]

ok thank you for explaining! i think im still a little confused bc i thought clicking the "dont show mature content" toggle or however its phrased is how you curate your dash just in case someone reblogs someone they dont usually reblog? like for example if a blog that normally posts cute stuff reblogs something horror themed you can make sure not to see it instead of having to unfollow the cute blog? and thats different from blocking tags because the cute blog might not tag that post as violence or death or w/e even if the original posting person did? but i think maybe i just dont understand smthing about the site and ill figure it out by using it more. it took me a while just to figure out that reposting and reblogging were referring to different things so i spent a long time thinking that reblogging someone's art was bad here lol. thank you again!

If you mark a post as mature it hides it from everyone who has that setting enabled. If someone marks my post as mature it essentially black lists it. So if you think “I don’t like this I’m going to mark it mature” you have marked it mature for every single user on this platform. You have taken someone’s content and added a “Do Not Go Here” sign to every single user on this platform, not just you. If you don’t like a topic (we’ll use horror as an example) block the tag instead and then on your dash any horror that comes up will not be visible for YOU and only YOU. Adding a community label makes it the poster’s problem and blocks it for EVERYONE, not just you.

#punk gets mail

[forlorn-crows]

What is it about mountain/Hayden that you like so much? I agree because 👀 but I'm curious what it is for you.

oh anon. you've activated my trap card. where do i begin about this wonderful man/ghoul.

this will be long. i will save your dash by putting it under a cut:

firstly. who is the backbone of a band if not a drummer. he is the literal rock of the group besides papa himself. ive always liked percussion, especially the precision you need in order to play the instruments well. hayden is such an accurate and well-versed drummer, in my opinion. does he play the most complicated songs? no. (i mean, look at II of sleep token, that man is c r a z y) but he's talented and has variety in his musical repertoire.

did you know he can play guitar too? and he composes music. he has an entire soundcloud of scores and works with his friends on their projects (jutty w/drag talk, dylan w/into the vortex). so not only does he play the music, he can write it too. which, i think, is crazy talented. not everyone can do that---everyone in ghost is crazy talented, in general, and its gonna be hard for tobias to keep people like hayden around for a super long time.

i dunno, hayden as a person just seems super sweet, someone who's happy to support his friends and also do cool things for himself.

he's got some cute lil doggies too. and i, as a dog person, appreciate that he dresses his dog up all cute, poses her for a picture, and posts it for her birthday klsfdj

so uh, in terms of looks . . . i mean, this man is fucking fine and i will NOT hear hayden slander. i dont care that he's a tall white beanpole of a boy, he's cute. he's just a big cute nerd. and you know whats weird? i dont normally like tall men. but something about him makes my brain go...hhhh t a l l.

his nose? his eyes? his cute fucking smile? even his stupid expressions when he drums, he's so into it. i love it. apart from his face his...his hands oh my fisdjkkd. his big hands. i want them on me. pls. and his tattoos??? lskjdfsd his tatTOOS. some of the pictures of him with his forearm ones showing i cant even breathe i stg.

uhhh fun fact he's a taurus. his birthday is 4 days before mine.

i dont know. hayden just seems like a warm, kind person. which is probably the biggest reason i like him as a person.

okay wrapping up with hayden, onto mountain. i will try my best to keep this short but i really truly feel i could go on about him for a g e s.

first of all. as previously mentioned, i am a taurus. and, true to that, i am earth aligned myself, always have been. obviously, anything that i think of mountain is my own and common fanon. but earth is calming, it feels like home to me. that connected feeling you get when you get your hands in the dirt or that wash of satisfaction you get when its perfect weather outside. earth is strong, hearty, resilient.

he's a grounding presence, one of the backbones of the pack (aside from being the backbone of the band). and you know what i think? i think he seriously doesnt get enough credit or attention. and maybe he feels that way too, at the very least, alone on his podium up there on stage. and maybe its me projecting onto him, but, you know, i know how that feels. to also be relied on to be that grounding presence (like aether too) constantly, even when going through turmoil personally. so i connect strongly to that. to be the one, as harsh as it sounds, taken for granted.

on a lighter note, i just know hes such a gentle ghoul. of course he has a harder side, but it takes a lot to get him there (unless you ask of course). hes sensitive, loving, thoughtful, just the real definition of a gentle giant. a giver, more than anything. wants the best for his pack, in every aspect. is always looking out for them and finding ways he can show his love. big on gift giving, i bet, especially handmade things.

i dont know if this sounds weird, but mountain seems to lean more into the feminine energy than say a ghoul like omega or swiss. less of a 'big' presence, despite his size. fits in well with the girls, prefers quiet company. and thats something i always lean into, regardless of gender. not to say there's nothing masculine about him, but i think y'all know what i mean. his ideal day is probably sitting with like-minded company, maybe outside, enjoying a book or working on plants or doing some sort of craft or baking.

it also doesnt help that mountain essentially looks like a ghoul-ified hozier in my brain slkdflj. long mousy brown hair with auburn tones, proud nose, deep green eyes, warm olive-toned, medium gray skin, super freckly with soft patches of hair on his tummy, his sternum, his legs, his balls, you just look at him and want to hug him. want him to pick you up and carry you to a secluded meadow somewhere and for him to ramble about the plants you see along the way in that deep, rumbly voice of his.

and dude dont even get me STARTED on mountain as a lover. holy hell that ghoul can FUCK. always focused on his partner, so fucking sensitive, will worship the others body/bodies for as long as they'll let him. big on praising. soft. so fucking soft (but you know, he's got that HOT AS FUCKLSDJLFJ possessive side. that all consuming 'i need to have you' side. and a lil bit of a heavy hand, if they ask) and the NOISES I KNOW THIS GHOUL FUCKING MAKES IT PLAGUES ME EVERY DAY. the softest of groans, the breathy moans, *bangs fist on the table* the WHIMPERING. listen, y'all know how i feel about puppy mountain. that ghoul fucking WHIMPERS okay?! i need him. SO fucking bad. you already know how i write him. you know what i like. you know how it is. you know how i turn him needy 50% of the time, the ghoul you think has a giant dick and tops everyone? nuh uh. that boy is BOTTOMING a good chunk of the time too.

okay im rambling. im sure you can understand why i love hayden and mountain so much. sigh. he's the one for me. theres a lot of things that do it for me. you can count on me never shutting up about him.

xx

#ask #anon #hayden scott #why do you think i have a #mountain my love #tag?? #unmasked ghouls #mountain ghoul

[awkwardsonicphotos]

has thistle even bitten you? asking mostly bc once i was chilling with a hedgehog and she was super chill, hanging out a few feet away doing hedgehog things and then randomly ran up to my hand and bit my thumb a little and i still dont know what i did to elicit that response lol. also how is ur day going? love seeing ur posts on my dash every morning like a newspaper

Thank you! Happy to entertain!

I was only bitten by Thistle once! But it wasn’t with any ill intent and she immediately let go once she realized it was me. Hedgehogs don’t have great vision and rely mostly on scent. They also LOVE to bite and chew on stuff that is a new scent to them so they can anoint with it. I had just washed my hands and they smelled of soap and Thistle wanted it. She also loves to try to lick and chew on my shirts.

I can normally avoid a bite because Thistle will start licking before she bites. She just didn’t that time. Hedgehogs rarely bite in self defense.

#ask #hedgehog facts

[pisshandkerchief]

no yeah i get what you mean. i feel like. idk. my chem fans do especially enjoy shitting on fob for very little/no reason at all?? like yeah i dont like every single song fobs ever released or whatever but i swear if my chem did the same thing fob fans wouldnt relish tearing it apart to this degree? i havent even listened to it yet and i probably wont tbh but if yr having fun then good for you and i think you should get to enjoy that without having it ruined for you. like obviously people dont have to love it or even like it, reasonable criticism is good and normal. but the degree to which people seem to be shitting on this seems kinda unreasonable. dunno if this makes much sense but. yeah

It makes total sense and I absolutely agree with you. I think part of the reason I'm so upset and being such a whiny little baby about it is because I swear to god the SECOND THING I SAW ON MY DASH after hearing the news that we got What A Catch Donnie and The (After) Life Of The Party at the concert was an MCR blogger posting a ton of awful news headlines shitting on the cover and reveling in it. like they were THRILLED that Fall Out Boy was getting bad reviews again. I'm sorry but like I said I thought the cover was bad and unnecessary too but I don't want to hear negative shit about my favorite band right now!!!! I am trying to enjoy the afterglow of a concert where two of my favorite songs got played!! songs that mean a lot to me! If Fall Out Boy fans acted like this about MCR it would NOT be treated the same way I promise you

#perhaps MCR fans are just bitter that their band is not constantly engaging with the fans and producing new content. Hmmm 🤔

[lilietsblog]

hi, i noticed you reblogged my post highlighting my tags talking about how i don't appreciate likes, specifically saying something to the affect of "artists do appreciate likes" and i'd like to clear something up, I Am An Artist, My Posts Don't Often Get Reblogged and so i'm Not Getting New Eyes On My Posts and i'm Getting Discouraged‚ like why should i post art if nobody's gonna see it?

i don't really care for likes, all a like is to me is a "hey i saw your post! not gonna say anything about it, just saw it!" and its so easy to do with double tap to like, if i could turn them off on my posts i would, i promise you that. you literally highlighted my tags and said the opposite about People Like Me, basically about Me, which is just an absurd thing to do

also, did you see what blog of mine you were reblogging from? my sideblog for reblogging things to, because my main is for my art, other things "wouldn't match that wallpaper" so i put them on a dedicated blog so i can add tags and interact more without just liking posts, because i've been on the other side of getting like 11k likes or whatever and 5k reblogs‚ meaning i got hardly any feedback and people are now seeing it through the top posts of #long furby or whatever (not to mention that 5k reblogs started with a staff member reblogging it to the radar? so like, reblogs can really do some work)

i know its a bad idea to interact with discourse, especially when its something i could just block you for, i mean i'd really rather not talk to a like truther, but i'd like to tell you these things so you get a perspective of where i was coming from with those tags‚ and so you reconsider your argument against them

i hope you have a nice day‚ feel free to not answer this ask if it doesn't match your wallpaper, please stop telling artists what they should think

here's an idea for you too, turn off double tap to like, try to only interact with posts Intentionally, treat a day like you only have 100 likes or something, make a like matter, show us artists we're wrong

First, I'm not on mobile, "double tap for like" is not a thing in the browser. And I do interact with posts intentionally - if I don't like the post I don't put "like" on it, I just like the overwhelming majority of what's on my dash and I'm always happy to see (almost) any art that people on here actually made. I like it! Quite intentionally! It all matters to me! Like if I don't have the headspace to consider the post I don't - don’t scroll further I get off tumblr and go do something else

I didn't actually see what blog of yours I was reblogging from, no, I don't normally look at those things /sideglare into the "dont reblog from terfs" discourse/

And no, likes don't just mean "I saw your post". Yes, it's easy to put them, but people still choose to. They mean "I saw your post and I am glad I did and I want to see more of these". Literally tumblr has actual algorithms that determine things based on likes - whether to show something in a tag, the "based on your likes" recommendation thing.

Also..

>I Am An Artist, My Posts Don't Often Get Reblogged and so i'm Not Getting New Eyes On My Posts and i'm Getting Discouraged‚ like why should i post art if nobody's gonna see it?

so...

>all a like is to me is a "hey i saw your post!

people. seeing your posts. which is what you're saying you want. ???

Anyway, the real reason I'm wading into this discourse is that arguments like yours ARE MAKING PEOPLE STOP LIKING ART. Engaging with it at all in any way. Instead of going "ooh I should go through this blog and like this person's art, make their day, ooh look this picture is cool enough I want to reblog it!" people just go "artists are touchy, better not go on this dude's blog at all lest I accidentally like something"

like... not just yours. You're not the only person losing out on potential reblogs here. Everyone is. This campaign is driving art appreciators away, period.

Oh, and maintaining a sideblog is not something you can expect from other people as a mandatory obligation. It's not tumblr tax to be obligated to have a sideblog. Nor to blog anything at all. "Hey, if you don't post anything people are going to think you're a bot" =/= "hey, if you don't post anything you're evil and don't belong here".

---

P.S. If I did do that? If I did limit myself to 100 likes per day for ONLY STUFF THAT REALLY MATTERS?

You would have no way of knowing that, would you? Even if the likes I gave your art were from my Precious 100 Likes Supply, you would still be upset by them?

#asks #the reblog discourse #i hope you can see where im coming from here too

[awsugar]

HIII i’m an old regular anon, glad to see u have acquired internet again and i missed ur presence on my dash <33 ive got a question i’ve been thinking on: who in mcr do u think has the worst fashion. like overall, or key moments. ive been considering it since mikey posted some horrendous neolithic hunter gatherer shoes on insta recently, but i feel we cant overlook franks regular additions to his shite dad sneaker collection. ray is exempt in my mind because i admire how he wears everything he owns to absolute tatters (environmentally conscious king shit). i say all of this with deep love and respect for them btw

yes i finally have internet its so nice to be on tumblr on my laptop again!!! and also weird bc what did they do to the dash...this is weird...

anyway worst fashion???? idk they all have their moments. i think mikey probably has the worst inherent fashion sense. i say that because like i dont think ray thinks about fashion. he just gets dressed. jeans and tshirt type of dude and i think thats totally respectable. and bc of that i have never really questioned one of his fits bc theyre very normal. so yea, mikey has made the most questionable choices, TO ME. i love the way frank dresses, and even though i dont love his sneaker collection i think its cute that he has a hobby. and in doing some research, it seems like none of his pairs are exorbitantly expensive. like more than i would pay for most pairs of shoes, but hes not buying like holy grails or whatever. so i cant clown him that much on it. but anyway like i was saying, i think frank has a pretty good fashion sense, however one thing about him is that he will wear an UGLY ASS hat.....but ive seen his bare ass weve seen crack so. i can ignore the hats. thats not the head im looking at...

#anonymous #asks

[realbeefman]

Angus loyal follower here I love your posts I actually started reading hilson fic because of you even though I’ve never seen the show and I never will because once I heard Hugh lauries voice in a fancam and it was so unsexy also they filmed a lot of b roll at my school anyway Seeing your destiel post was so surprising to me please tell me more about your spn opinions I’m so curious I love discourse <3

very long answer so i’ve hidden it under a readmore for the sanity of casual dash scrollers and people who dont care

first off his american voice or his british voice? this is kind of controversial and may seem wild considering i spend a solid chunk of time thinking about what house would be like during sex but i ACTUALLY find him deeply unattractive. i’d love to have his face and wear his skin but never in my life would i consider him a sexual being. he’s too british for it. the only way british people can be sexy is if they are women this is my most political belief on foreign policy. however i do think hugh laurie’s AMERICAN voice is actually very normal and makes him very endearing to me. hilson fic is awesome but honestly!!! most hilson fic for me just does not hit the same unless u can visualize the creepiness with which house looks at wilson. it’s genuinely sickening. he talks about wilson in the softest voice. so many of the most iconic lines in the show just dont HIT the same if u dont listen to the way they’re delivered.

that is SO cool that they shot b roll at ur school though!!! honestly seems like a dream. if i knew i had walked the same halls the house film team had i think i would die. the camerawork on that show is just fucking PHENOMENAL. i could write entire essays fangirling over how they shoot certain scenes but i fear that would be chronically desperately boring

oh man my supernatural opinions… first off disclaimer i have not seen supernatural recently because i am a deeply paranoid individual and prone to delusions and when i first watched the show i genuinely convinced myself that the monsters were real so. i think my most controversial spn opinion would have to be that it’s a PSYCHOLOGICAL THREAT. have you ever met a normal supernatural fan? NOBODY HAS. BECAUSE THE SHOW DRIVES PEOPLE NUTS

other than that my opinions are pretty normal i thiunk. i actually dont have anything at all against destiel even though i am solidly on the wincestie side of fandom. i dont care for the ship and i think it sucks but OBJECTIVELY its a good ship and has strong canon support. i think my hatred comes because i have read SO many destiel fics and have yet to come across a genuinely good one that accurately portrays the characters. i dont understand why an objectively reasonable ship with strong canon support has created some of the middest fic ive ever read in my life. genuinely fascinating. it’s not even that the fic itself is not good or entertaining it just doesn’t feel anything like the actual canon dean and castiel! i have read like two genuinely entertaining destiel fics that felt realistic and BOTH were from authors who primarily write samdean so!!

other controversial spn opinions i have. the “chuck is god” stuff is by far the most entertaining late seasons retcon. objectively ridiculous but so goddamn amusing. i think season 8 and the leviathans was the peak of supernatural. by far the best season in my opinion. plotwise it was not the most believable but i strongly believe that what makes a story good is not it’s logical soundness nor it’s objective value but whether it is ENTERTAINING and COMPELLING and by god the leviathans were both of those things. what a season. also benny and dean were having sex. i loved castiel going insane. OH and i think endverse spn is overhyped both as an episode and in fanon! i did not understand what endverse referred to for so long because i couldnt comprehend that SO MANY PEOPLE could possibly by THAT fanatic over a very mid episode.

not a controversial opinion but rowena is hot. she should've been in every episode for this reason alone. last semester i set up an office meeting with my professor who looked JUST like her to shoot my shot and she literally died before the meeting could happen. i've always felt in my heart that these are related.

#ty for the ask dearest!! much to chew on and think about #house md #supernatural #ask #cw incest mention

[starfruit-baby]

What is the difference between Leo Manfred and Gavin Reed in your opinion? Like, why do you think Leo is worthy of redemption and not Gavin?

I don't like Gavin, and I didn't like Leo either, but your posts are making me think

in retrospect, i guess 'redeemable' wasnt the right word and im sorry for using it, since technically, as far as canon is concerned, we never see concrete proof he truly sees androids as equals, much less regrets any harm done by his own hands and words. right now i think the word i could use would be "sympathetic", since what we CAN do is walk through his backstory, and connect the dots from his life to his current thinking, even if it doesn't necessarily excuse his actions, far from even. by now im gonna be talking from an utterly biased perspective so its not quite set in stone, im prone to fucking up what is or isnt canon or weighing in personal judgement from My preferences, so just a heads up, but going a little more into it:

like, putting yourself in his shoes, he was a child of a fling, and his rich father although comfortable enough to openly claim him, did not bother to visit him personally until he was a teenager, an already difficult phase for the average person, only to be met with scorn because by this time in his life, he found solace in the wrong crowd and vices. and from this point on trying to get closer to his father is useless because of something so difficult to change in yourself.

and then, once disabled, Carl gets a machine to help him around, which is normal at this point in time. but, as the game makes it seem at least, carls whole behaviour changes gradually, because he talks to markus, and this angry (at least as far as Leo is aware), pessimistic old man is caught smiling, because of this machine. he chats with it. and now, hes walking into his father guiding this thing into his fathers very passion. this, as far as Leo is concerned, common object, a household facility like a toaster, is getting lessoned proudly by his father, who loses all the shine in his eyes once he walks in, goes back to his sarcastic, bitter old tone, and will grow aggressive if you even speak ill of the thing. and, later on, Carl talks about his own son as if he's not there in the room, ordering around his toaster to deal with you as if to not get his hands dirty. dirty with You being in his way. his own blood.

now, again, does this excuse his behavior? nope. even in the belief that Markus is truly an unfeeling object, at the very last moment before Markus is forced to decide between obeying or not, he starts referring towards Markus as something that could be physically hurt, and emotionally provoked. where previously his mockery of Markus felt more about provoking his father, not addressing Markus directly, the time he decides to pick a fight with Markus he's talking TO him. hes speaking as if this theoretically unfeeling being could either fear or be angry at him (which turns out, he can), but its difficult to tell if hes under some sort of influence or not, or if this egging on is still in part more to dash back his frustrations at Carl in a less direct manner. his love for the old man stops him from wanting to lay a hand on him, but he knows with how clear the guy makes it he cares for this android, how he yells, itll still inflict Something to tear this thing apart.

now, i may be wrong here, and im real sorry if i sound like a douche for it, but i dont personally consider too much the actors headcanons as full canon, and Gavins background according to the game is really uh... unclear? i can understand how people get to the conclusion his workplace ambition is what makes him hate androids, hell do Anything to get to the top, but a lot of what people attribute as being the motivation behind it i find kinda... idk, circumstancial? im not saying improbable, but my post was more about how people latched on to him when theres way less explanation and even content to him than Leo does? my last guess is that people plain and simple found him sexier than Leo

from My perspective, the closest we get to a Leo redemption is if Carl dies, and he comes across Markus mourning his father as well. the first time i saw this i thought there would be a fight, that he would scream and yell that it was all Markus' fault, even when he knows it wasnt, how dare this fucking thing even show itself in a cemetary. but he just... looks on. in shock. what he deemed something slightly above a glorified toaster is there, when he shouldnt even be. the fruits of his fathers time invested in this android. in his bonding. this thing that shouldve been dismantled in a junkyard somewhere, completely useless, now overwhelming the news talking about civil rights. and this is where he gets it. this thing understands the concept of grief, its clearly feeling it. Markus looks sad. a cold and calculating machine would understand theres no point in visiting a stone with some decaying corpse underneath it, death is final. wouldnt bother making the time to visit this unremarkable place while its on the brink of raging a war. but it did. the same as he was about to do. fucked up

on an alternate where Carl survives, most of what Leo says goes more towards the favor of his father than mentioning the android. we dont know if he knows anything of what happened with Markus at all, so its hard to draw a conclusion, but the game certainly feeds some hope that after this horrible event they can mend back. he promises to do what he can to get rid of what, as far as he knows, is what truly keeps Carl from loving him. no more ugly addiction. who knows, maybe theres a chance for growth. maybe if he really wants to, Leo could give in to seeing Markus as something equal, if thats what would make his dad not hate him.

and, with Gavin... he either leaves on a corny joke, beats up Connor, or gets beaten up. which i certainly see the appeal of, but definitely doesnt scream "no longer sci-fi racist"/"only mildly, acceptably sci-fi racist" to me, but to each their own

#ask #ramble #leo #gavin #anti gavin reed #same as usual. just being safe #anti carl manfred #sorry if it makes little sense ive had to rewrite this one a couple times and i still cant make myself coherent #1 am posting no typo correcting we die like manfred men #tw drugs #tw addiction #tw death #tw neglect #SORRY ABOUT THE TWS LET ME KNOW WHAT ELSE I MISS PLEEK

[theyarebothgunshot]

Your tag under this post here so true. Also the post itself. I'm always having a blast when everyone is joined in the craziness, but at the same time I'm always exhausted afterwards 😆

lmao yes so true, it is chaotic in the best way hfdhhsf but i finally have time to freak out some more after being a "responsible adult" all day......

it's been a while since i have done a compilation like this but i dont wanna clog the dash and it's all about the same thing so here we goooo

Jensen did everything in his power to stomp the J*2 narrative into dust this weekend. Love that journey for him!

listen, i am not one to be petty (lol okay sometimes i am, ngl) but.... the difference was SO stark this time, it has to be said

I was obviously hoping for some good cockles content this con, but this has exceeded everything I could have thought of lol. Amazing.

my expectations were pretty managed after we got interrupted so early last time, but this indeed exeeded everything!!

Gonna have a difficult week... And difficult four months until I leave work... But I'm so hyped but today's Cockles nothing's gonna stop me - tea anon

i'm sorry you are gonna face some hard times <3 you know i am here when you want to talk! thankfully jenmish gave us enough seretonin for a life time hdgfhdg

First we get Mish. Dee. Now we have Jensen, Danneel and their boyfriend Misha. Truly could not have predicted them being *that* unhinged but I do love to see it! Going to need about 10 business days to process it all though lmaoooo - Honeymoon Anon

you and me both!!

The thing is, there is absolutely no reason for them to act like that, none. like, can you imagine jensen making that kind of jokes toward jp lmaoooo he'd rather unalive himself💀 but then again, misha is his close friend so , what's the difference hmmm🫠 they are driving me insane Rose

*kermit nodding gif* yeah..... it is a lot lmfaooo

“tell jensen i mentioned him first”

twitter.com/misskittybsdc/status/1630013886844764160?s=46&t=oQYacDuBE2cwV9RJV-7UJg

they wanna score points with the big boss ghdhgh

Rose it's 5 am and I haven't slept yet and I am so not normal about this. I have been around a lot of JIBs so I knew what was coming. Yet, I still am so overwhelmed by everything that happened. I have watched the cockles panel twice by now. Some scenes I have definitely watched more than 20 times. I have perceived more and more details every time I rewind. Jensen Ackles butt wiggling. Him winking at Misha. That weird expression on his face when he made a wish. The movement of chairs, which is, of course - as it always is every JIB - closer together. The weird non-improvisation of the improvisation. Daniela coming in with the CW sniper in the form of a birthday cake to stop Jensen coming out as Misha Collins' boyfriend. Not to mention all the other big things that happened. Canary? Kissing Misha? When in Rome??? The preparation of Misha's 50th birthday party. Misha and Jensen playing an European puppet show with Misha shouting "Dieter I love you! Kiss me Dieter". Rose. Jensen said Misha is Danneel's boyfriend. Jensen said Misha is his boyfriend. The underbear and straddlegate have walked so that this Jibcon panel could run. How am I supposed to sleep? I am not even attending a convetion yet the convention high is keeping me restless. I feel like I need a continuation. Like this was a series finale with a cliffhanger that needs to be resolved. Like there are things that need to come up so this can settle. I have been a cockles perceiver since years yet my patience is limited right now. I mean if I wait a day or two I know it will wear of. It always does. But the boyfriend will stay. Right here with us.

- anon anon (you know who I am)

ahhhhh i totally feel you!! i had to physically make myself go to bed last night because i had to get up early, but it took a LOT to finally go to bed and i slept poorly ngl hfgdhhg i hope you did manage to get some sleep though!! and oof. what a year yesterday was!!!

Also @ all the other anons, I remember you guys, too!!! ♥️ I don't know if you remember me though haha

- anon anon

ahww i'm sure they do!! <3

You Know what i have realised. This weekend have felt like a fan fic of dean and cas but instead of reading it i was watching it.

you're not wrong!!

Ok also at the end of angeles he glances at misha then suddenly stops playing and looks away sooooo bashful. Did you show too much jensen? Did you get nervous when you made eye contact???

👻anon

head in my fucking hands!!!!! jensen.... sweetie....... why sing that song huh????? answer quickly (also hiiii omg love seeing you in my inbox!!)

jensen singing angeles with misha there watching (and at some points singing directly to misha) seems like fanfic AND YET…

and yet..........

#bexfangirlforlife #tea anon #honeymoon anon #anon anon #ghost anon #anonymous #wow this was fun dhfhdghd #love you guys sm #also puzzle pieces anon if you see this: i am saving your lovely ask for when (if) i actually do the analysis #so i can answer your ask with said analysis <3 #im a bit sickly atm so will have to see when i have the energy and if i am still up for it by then #but your ask warmed my heart

[lucy-o-ohs]

ive been considering posting on r/curatedtumblr again

but then i realize like 90% of my dash is video and/or audio based

and then i remember i felt like i wanted to get a good grade in tumblr subreddit which is both feasible to achieve and normal to want

and also like it was a thing with the jokeefunny banners and i dont know if i can stop that. like if i started posting and didnt use the banners then people who noticed my account would be like "oh whered jokeefunny go" but if i did then i would get more people asking why theres a garish fucking watermark on my posts and it just feels like a lose/lose situation

on top of all that when people would say they really liked jokeefunny it would feel like stolen valor since i didnt even start the bit, i just ""recycled"" it from millian

in concept im perfectly fine with just stepping away from that community as a whole but in practice its kinda like the only group of people that ive actually been able to "talk" to ever since i graduated from high school and if i lose that depression is gonna do the thing where its right about everything

i dont like having depressed as shit posts on here so i guess have some rhone and kamera which reminds me of the subreddit that i made specifically to post pics of them but then also stopped using at around the same time

#lucy is sleeby

[bagofspoons]

POST SESSION 1 DLDND CHARACTER THOUGHTS

holy SHIT y’all the hiatus is over w a long ass session to start us off. i passed out so hard post session but now. i have things to say abt peoples characters and im going to say them. plus an added pronoun check for my own memory. this is a long post so ill pop it all under da cut. tldr at the end 2

IZZY | ALASTRELLE (they/he)

i LIKE THEM. i like them. i was very eyes emoji at their intro and im rly excited to see a druid. i have a feelin that theres a lot more 2 alastrelle than meets the eye but im not rly sure what. we got an insight check that he seems to know more than hes letting on... but like. idk. i have a feelin that theyre more like... they know stuff but not in a malicious way? mayb im bein 2 optimistic and alastrelle is just waiting 2 absolutely decimate every1. they DID heal ma’el tho so like... i think they do not want this. they seem kind. i want 2 know more.

CADILLAC | R-D 2.04 (pronouns unknown - seems to vary)

everybody is so mean 2 me image. r-d is rly. look. i love them but i also hate them. he’s so fuckin funny but also.... gestures broadly at the last hour of the session. she seems 2 b tha only character built 4 outright combat. at least from what weve seen. it seems like a lot of the others went 4 classes that cld offer support (from my limited knowledge of the classes themselves plus dnd) whereas cadillac built (literally) a beast. she seems really cool and had some rly amazing moments first session. designated antagonist im super interested to see how every1 is going 2 interact w the person who drew 1st blood!! also tha character we got the most backstory 4 session 1. kinda dont blame it for the murders but. i dont want any pcs to die T_T

NOX | DOCTOR (PALL’OR) REMAEDI (he/him, okay with they)

HE’S COOL... the outfit is very wizardly but we know hes a cleric. am i right when i look at the ref art and see that hes purple. he is purple. he also shotgunned an unmentioned vial (WHY DID NO 1 ASK ABOUT THAT AUAUEUEGEUGH) and the rice and meat. chuggin ig. seems like... cautious? mayb suspicious but remarkably chill. well. i say chill. again. gestures at the last hour or so of the session. LUV the weapon design. would luv 2 see it do some more damage (see “r-d is built for combat” above. terrifyink). i want 2 know more abt his eyepatch and stitches and general deal. do we think hes an unethical doctor guys. would he kill u for like. fun.

CERIN | EIWN (she/her)

pretty lady. fllushed emoji. i love her design a lot its rly cool. i assumed she was druid bc of it but idk if pep would have allowed class double ups? plus cerin is bein v secretive... possibly monk? eye dee kay im rly just guessin at this point. shes so funny 2 the bit w the shelter being her height and alastrelle tryin 2 fix it secretly was great. i dont have much 2 say abt her yet but i think she will turn out to b EXTREMELY interesting. i kno 4 a fact cerin will say smth and then the dash will explode w how much we love eiwn.

RIVER | MA’EL(VAR) (he/him)

IS HE NORMAL??? squints. i dunno... intro was. suspicious. i did like him tryin 2 explain stuff to r-d that was kinda funny. he seems to b like... relatively level headed? i struggled to get a read on his personality except like... suspicious of others but wants 2 cooperate. clearly doesnt want 2 b here el oh el. HE DID ALMOST DIE 2 TIMES WITH NO IDEA WHAT WAS HAPPENING EL EM AY OH. i wonder how hes gonna react to that.

PEP | MIYM (she/her, okay with they)

MIYM MY FUCKIN BELOVED. kenku AND a bard? plus card themed LDFKJ. alto WISHES he could. the resume made me laugh sm and she generally just seems so nice... i like that she’s immediately forming more positive relationships w tha others... probably intentional on pep’s part as a filler character for the pair offs. i was wondering why they were getting such an outright dmpc and was wondering if she was gonna get killed early... i was real newvous. its cool tho. i like her a lot. very glad miym explained the whole premise 2. thank u from da audience i was a little like WHAT THE HELL. but in a good way

TL;DR - I LIKE THEM ALL. i think theres a LOT of things we havent touched (obvs. it was 1 session) but a lot of seeds and references to things wer made i think. also it looks like we got a lot of elves lol. im generally just rly excited 2 see them play again and having consensual and established pvp will make things VERY interesting. i wonder what the symbols on the like... bracelets/necklaces are 4. and what happens when someone dies.... do they both go to zero/make death saves? i guess we will see....

#dldnd #dldnd spoilers #i saw some1 on the dash mention this was named after a minecraft series? DJKLF #i immediately just assumed soulmate au #this is so fun i look forward 2 more

[the-rxven-king]

Still thinking about Amadeus all these years later 💕

Got any OCs you're currently obsessed with atm? The council of I Heart Amadeus would like to know, oh great one of many fabulous OCs~

THE WAY YOURE STILL HERE AND THINKING ABOUT HIM ALMOST MADE ME C RY LIKE

idk who you are and idk if i ever will but know that i think about you sometimes cause it makes my heart so happy that someone loves one of my characters so much even tho i get scared to talk about them more often cause i dont wanna be obnoxious, you are always amadeus anon in my heart and i love you pls come into my inbox whenever you want to ask about whatever i will try to answer quickly sometimes it just takes a while for my brain to feel ready but i will Always try to answer questions about my ocs

i will ramble about some of my characters under a cut i dont wanna flood anyones dash with my bullshit if they dont want it!!! anyone playing in a campaign with me..... proceed with caution if you read!!! even tho i am coming back to this after deciding i needed to be done and. i didnt say too much spoilery shit. i didnt even talk backstory much. its fine.

as for ocs im obsessed with i am Entirely Not Normal about my character nowell, i wasnt fully normal about him when i first made him, but at the time i was only really talking to my ex and all the parts of nowell that really made him Nowell to me were things he didnt want to discuss so i didnt get to explore him to his full capacity. i dont blame him since nowell is one of the darkest characters??? ive ever made???? in terms of the things hes gone through? i affectionately call him a walking trigger warning. but it still made me sad sometimes

now tho? when i was able to put him into a modern horror dnd campaign and i played him a bit before our current hiatus? where ive gotten to fully explore him and every single facet of him, good and bad? it really unleashed him fully in my brain and it kinda makes me really emotional. i fully developed his backstory out more than i felt i could before (because what did it matter before if i could never utilize it? had to dull him down to be easier to deal with and honestly i think thats had an effect on his character now too) and ive learned more about him, hes grown into himself and he truly is out here changing my brain chemistry. i love him so, so, so much and i have drawn him more than any other oc i have im pretty sure. hes my most drawn son and i really wish i was braver about posting oc art on my blog now a days like i used to be in the past because i love my art of him. im pretty proud of it and the way hes made me want to create again. i just wish i could do him more justice yknow??? g uh hes everything to me im holding him so so gently in my arms

and also my boy veth???? g o d i love him sm especially since i!!! recently got to confirm/drop a big lore reveal about him in my campaign thats been going for like 2 years at this point!!! my party finally knows hes the only survivor of the royal family of kuzania and thus the rightful heir to the throne and not the BBEG whose currently ruling! i feel So Free now that i can mention his princely-ness truly i do. hes just. so sweet and so lovely and hes everything i love in a character cause truly i just accidentally made My Type in a man and now its just veth. the only way he could be even more my type is if he was a tiefling instead of an elf but he makes up for that by being like. 1/4 platinum shadow dragon. and one day thats gonna pop out with him i know it to be so. i want him to be able to have a bit of a draconic-ish form because of how STRONG that 1/4 dragon blood is. im gonna work on it eventually, but im v happy with him hes so pretty and i adore him

he also recently canonically got with a PC in the campaign (hes a main story npc!!!) and im So Not Normal About Them theyre driving me up a wall and i literally cried over them earlier this week because my friend came at me with a fuckin baseball bat of an answer to a vague scenario/question i told them about cause im batshit and think about character scenarios every day of my life.

im also leaving my setting for that campaign open for friends who arent playing in it to make characters and throw em in and one of my friends made an au of a character she already had that im Deeply And Completely Obsessed With named creed to put him into this world specifically to date veth cause theyre obsessed with veth like i am their chara and we had joked like "aha what if we just picked them up like barbies and made them kiss just to see if it worked out" and now they are literally The Couple Ever. like there have never been 2 men who were more perfect for each other in this entire world and the way they have a fuckin grip on me. i have also cried over them several times. veth is a poly king and by GOD is he winning rn. we have made this au version of creed canon in stadalon so veth is gonna have TWO boyfriends!!!! perhaps 2 husbands! perhaps 3!!!! cause another friend has an oc to kiss him with!!! we shall see!!!!

guuuuh and also my vampire spawn shadow genasi/tiefling requiem??? recently hes been So Loud in my head. i specifically made him to romance a character my friend made (same one who made creed) named harbinger cause i saw him and immediately fell head over heels and begged her to let me kiss him and other friends in the call at the time he was shown immediately jumped on the bandwagon wanting to make characters in relation to him (2 of them made siblings for him, theyre triplets! and the other just decided to make the most normal man ever (a fuckin lie. theyre Not Fucking Normal) because of the triplets happening and me being like imma out-goth this goth tiefling and out came requiem) and the last friend in call decided hell why not make a whole campaign out of these losers just for this One Blue Tiefling Our Friend Made That We All Love.

in campaign shit is Constantly Happening but me and them were talking and she told me that harbinger is finally starting to get to a point hes falling for him and requiems already been there cause hes disney prince ass level falls hard and fast. im cheering and screaming and kicking and crying i love them so much we keep talking future scenarios for them and im so deeply in love with how soft and gentle and adoring theyre going to be with one another one day and i would die for them both.

plus i just. Love requiem sm hes such a big soft sad bastard and the fact that he loves and cares so fuckin deeply and hes so kind? so open? so genuine? was not in the plans when i first sat down to play him he was supposed to be more moody and a bit more intense than he is now. he held my face before i even opened my mouth to play him and said no. i am kind. i am patient and understanding and i was born to love and to take care of people. i have also cried over him. i love him so so much and im just guuuUUUH yknow what i mean.

anyway. ill leave it at those 3!!! or i will never shut up!!! i have more ive been thinking about a lot recently but i will leave it at my 3 most precious blorbos if you made it this far i adore you pls take all my love

#the raven king speaks #god i talk so much. rip. thank yall for putting up with me

[greyeyedmonster-18]

Hi Grey.

If you ever have the time I would really like ti hear more about your writingprogress.

Like. How do you come up with your ideas? Do you do a outline? Where and when do you write? Are you finishing all your stories before posting them? Do you fact check things? How long time does it normally take for you to finish a story? Have you ever regretting posting a story? Why do you write? Do you have a beta?

Youre one of my favorite authors here and I’m really just curious of the mind and work behind the story’s that I’ve spent so much time with.

weeping. I'm one of your favorites???? what the hell??? thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you for being so nice. that just made my day.

i am going to put the answers to all those things below a cut to not spam my dash with a long post. but also, i shouldn't give writing advice ever and while i appreciate you asking your questions, everything with a grain of salt. because...i know absolutely nothing and this is just what I do. (and also, im an affectionate idiot so <3)

How do you come up with your ideas?

often my ideas start with a very very specific image in my mind, and then i go from there. sometimes they happen while im listening to a song (for example, FFTF happened because I was listening to Since We're Alone by Niall Horan and there's a line in there that says Why would you want to be someone else? I love you best when you're just yourself and an entire wolfstar narrative exploded, but i had to figure out how Sirius would be guarded in this particular way and....here we are) or sometimes when im on a walk or driving. also, as a total cop out, i write romance-- i get ideas from making foolish scenarios in my mind where people should fall in love and I'll never have a shortage of those.

Do you do an outline?

No! I don't. Once I have the idea, i usually start by writing the specific scene that came to me first (so for ten reasons, i wrote the voicemail scene first. i heard remus's voicemail in my mind so loud and clear and wrote it out) and i go from there. this is for my own unpacking but i almost always can see how things end in my mind before they begin (lol, isn't that a fucking metaphor; for a fun personal fact, I've always said since i was like...very little that i wasn't planning on living past 33, which is horrifying to hear out of a ten year olds mouth, but like...i still think its true). for almost all my fics, i wrote the ending first and then wrote around it. never chronologically. just everything that i want to happen and then i put it in some sort of order (i wish i could show you my doc for tight ends right now). and then i make them lead into one another.

I DO. however, do an obligatory chapter count. and i mean, so arbitrary, with no thoughts applied to it. NMTW i literally said 14 chapters, and stuck to it. this is the only structure i give myself when i write. and its my job as a writer to make sure i fit in there.

i do the same when im writing tumblr series. so like fault lines got SIX, chosen at random, and six it was. it was my job to tell that story in six parts. no more no less. (this is admittedly weird, i understand most writers dont work this way, but this actually helps me immensely. the only time i deviated was with FFTF when i added more chapters because the chapters i did have ended up being like TOO LONG in my eyes for a chapter, so i broke them up).

but also--i know other authors who DO outline and its helpful for them!! Find what works for you!!! I tried to outline once and the fic never left my drafts.

Where and when do you write?

To quote Shakira, "Whenever, Wherever"

I write a lot in parking lots on my phone. a lot of my tumblr drabbles are written on my phone and in a parking lot, ten reasons and tight ends were both started in parking lots.

otherwise on my desktop! in google docs! or if its smut, in a word doc! i write the best early in the morning or super late at night when i should be sleeping. I write when i can! Usually at my desk, or i'lll bring my laptop over and write while my kid is playing video games or we're watching something on tv. sometimes i write in the middle of my work day when i have a second in my office (this is also very quick and very on my phone). i just wrote smut at a nail salon. whenever, wherever.

Are you finishing all your stories before posting them?

yes. head to toe, top to bottom, signed sealed delivered. the stories are written before i post. this works better for me! i need to see the whole thing finished!! it also makes it very fun for me when readers are commenting and are like...in anguish, and im there like "tee hee, i know what happens next".

tumblr drabbles no. i pants those. fault lines, mercy, the pact (is part four written? nah but its started and i have no idea where its going to go!!!), the best worst thing to have ever happened-- PANTSTED. sat and written flat into the tumblr post machine. no outline, no plan, just feelings and vibes. (and yes this means that the end of fault lines was a pants decision and im very sorry it ruined everyone, whoops).

this again varies from author to author! most of my writer friends write as they go because they like to be align with the readers! or they work better chronologically and will just write and post and write and post, but again, this is something personal! do what works best for you!

Do you fact check things?

Lol sometimes? I probably should more often, tbh. I do a lot of geography fact checking because i couldn't map my way out of a paper bag, but otherwise, not...really. But also, my fics dont tend to have a lot of....information in them that needs a fact check. People are just falling in love. also, not to flex, but i have a big brain that stores a bunch of useless information and remembers a lot of things, so if i write something i usually believe myself (writing tight ends right now and putting my football knowledge to good use and there's been a few times I've been like "...hmmm" and referenced google and WE WERE RIGHT! so i mostly just trust my brain.)

Writing NMTW was also challenging because i had to reference SOURCE MATERIAL to see if there was a designated teacher for x subject, or when exactly school breaks were etc etc. but that said, i did not care about being accurate with full moons or course timestables or hogsmeade visits or anything like that. we...simply do not care. (this obviously does not apply to things that very much need fact checking such as if i were to write a medical procedure or something relating to disability or race/ethnicity/languages spoken; obviously do your homework for that.)

How long a time does it normally take you to finish a story?

Cop out-- it depends! Sometimes less than a week. (The pact is short, will be done by tomorrow most likely). I wrote ten reasons in four days. it took me 3 months to write an alleged wip though. it just....depends on my time and my schedule.

Have you ever regretted posting a story?

Sometimes! There was a moment when i was fresh on AO3 (pre-tumblr) where i got a few really nasty comments and it made me regret posting the story at all and made me regret joining AO3, and made me regret thinking my fics could be a thing or that my writing was worth sharing etc. I know I give FFTF a hard time because they're....out of pocket, but there are parts of that fic i really really like, and it seems to connect with a lot of people, so i can't have regrets about that.

i have deleted a few one shots off my AO3 though, because i decided they didn't need to be shared, but i wouldn't necessarily call that regret. just...re-evaluation.

Do you have a beta?

No. I do have one trusted person though who i send things to before i release them into the public, not as a beta but as.....a litmus test (to see how the fic reads but also for me and how i feel about sharing it in the first place; I've done it before with this person where they got something and then WEEKS later tumblr got it. Sometimes months.). I 10/10 recommend doing this. and i feel so so so so so so lucky that i found someone like that here and they tolerate my existence. but pre-tumblr, it was just me myself and i doing the thing. and also it took some time before i even trusted this person (did i mention im paranoid? and private?) to get my work because you can't take it back. and what if it didn't need to be shared? there are a few things this person has gotten that i havent and will never post. but like...im so fortunate to have that. you know?

I...am way too chaotic for a beta. and also have a very particular way i edit my stuff (because ND) and adding another person into the flow of that can get confusing. Too many cooks, you know?

Why do you write?

i saved this one for the end because my heart.

i think i've said before that like...a lot of my time as a child and a teenager and young adult in spaces was spent believing that i was a bad writer because neurodivergent and i don't understand mechanics of grammar or...words or...write in a way you're supposed to (outlines for example). and spent a lot of time giving my ideas to other people who i thought were GOOD writers.

but i...am a creative person. and sometime in 2019, i hit the biggest artist block of my life where i literally didn't draw or paint for a year. and picked up writing instead.

poetry, and then it evolved into romance, which i...turned into fic and here i am. and ultimately, i write because i like to. because its creative and it makes my brain happy when a sentence just hits, you know? because i believe in love and want to see more queer love stories and if i...can do the thing, i should, right?

i write because i...realized that i had stories in my head that needed places to go that i couldn't express visually through my artwork. also, ive mentioned it here before, that i am...young and have experienced an absurd amount of death and loss in my life (personally and professionally). and...well, i write a lot of fics about grief for that reason. i don't think i could ever run out of words for this (and have also published ACTUALLY on grief, both creatively and academically), and sometimes i write to like...sit with those feelings for a bit.

i...also think i write because i am a soft human in a very hard world in a hard career path who experiences things deeply and these things and observations need places to go. i cant carry them around all day, that's too heavy and my hands aren't big enough.

so i make art. and i dance. and i play music.

and i write.

i hope any of this is helpful. and if you get the courage to come off anon, i am more than happy to talk with you in DMS about processes or answer any more questions <3

#asks #grey answers #on writing #this is long long long long #and probably no one but this one person cares #but its here for you!!! #also anon i love you and i am cradling your head in my hands #and wishing you all the luck on your writing journey

[mrkis]

a twlg ask from 🦄anon below the cut!! i had to put it in a separate post bc it was long and i didn't want to clog anyones dash with this!! my response to you is below too!!

So this would be quite a long one and I apologize in advance for the novel I'm going to write. 😅😅

Firstly, I would like to thank you for the update, I almost died when I saw that you will be updating and splitting part 6 into 2 parts. Mind you, I was on the train as I was travelling back home from visiting some friends a few towns over. I was basically about to cry but I was in public and my best friend was with me so I had to wait a couple of hours until I got home and was ready to indulge myself with twlg.

Seeing the events through Jaemin's point of few is so interesting, kinda frustrating but it also makes so much sense. I know and understand that what happened with him and that hag Eunbin took a toll on his mind quite badly. Like we have heard in the previous chapters he was basically obsessed with her so it makes so much sense that he was seeing her stupid face everywhere and I can feel his frustration over it cause he wants her gone from his mind. Its pretty obvious that she hurt so bad he never wants to have anything to do with her, his thoughts on that are pretty clear, but im curious as hell for the next part where we see him with her and how he was feeling during all of it and why he did not push her completely away. I wonder what was going on in his head.

Now, I cant really understand why he would lie to mc that no one was watching them in the hallway when people infact did, but then again I dont think he fully understands himself and why he is doing stuff with her the way that he is and how he feels. That jealously toward Mr. Moon? It was an interesting process to witness.

I knew he was jealous of Yang, but oh man he KNOWS Yang has a thing for mc, its quite obvious and I wonder when will those two erupt in regards to their own feelings toward her.

Jeno asking him if he ever thought of more than fwb and the way Jaemin reacted makes me believe he has, but as the last 2 paragraphs said he is scared of going through another heartbreak and I think this is very much intefering with the way he sees the situation. He is trying too hard to not get his heart involved and broken, but I think he is already too far gone, he is just being in a huge denial as its easier to call mc a distraction. Why else would he panick about them being exclusive? She is his fuck buddy, why should it matter if people know? He wanted them to because he couldnt keep his hands to himself anyway. But I also think he is trying to proof that Eunbin is no longer in his life both to himself and that bitch Mia.

Personally, I feel like its slowly going to down on him how much of a couple he and mc are and how things changed quite quickly, the moment his mind catches up to his heart is the moment he would break, Im just afraid that this will happen once mc lets go of him, cause it will bother him. The way you have pointed out that the way he feels around her is different and something he never felt before with anyone else, how its basically "head empty just her" type of thing. To me that its not something you feel with your fuck buddy, this is a deep emotion and connection. And that last part where it says he doesnt want to fall in love, like honey we dont control that shit it just happens. We dont chose who to love. Just because he doesnt want to involve himself in those type of feels to keep his own heart safe doesnt mean he wont get involved. He brushes all those jealousy feelings aside cause it bothers him to admit what he feels. And its normal, its scary to think of falling back in love when it can be 10 times more intense and it begins as such complicated relationship. I do not trust him when he claims she is just a distraction. He appreciates her. That polaroid moment was adorable and the way he put that picture up so early on? fucking adorable.

I wanted to see that moment after the party when he wakes up and stares at Jeno, I wonder what that was. I also cant wait for the "I appreciate you scene" from his point of view and the spit in her mouth one. I crave to see what he was thinking cause to me it feels like those may be major turning points.

I have so much more to say but this is getting too long so Im just gonna wrap it up. 😅 Again, thank you Cass for the update and I can not wait for the next update. I am so invested in twlg its unhealthy atp😅

-🦄

[ mrkis response ] : omg please don't apologise for sending long types of asks, i seriously enjoy them so much! i'm so unbelievably thankful <3

i'm so happy you found jaemin's pov interesting!! it's been so fun writing it so far and i can't wait to get the next part done to see your reactions. jaemin has definitely built up so many walls and taken on this cold/quiet/mysterious persona because of past events, he really doesn't want anyone to know what he's feeling and he doesn't really want to indulge in any sort of conversation with anyone, so it has been fun writing in his head and showing everyone want type of person he truly is and what his thought process was/is throughout his friends with benefits situation with mc.

him reacting to eunbin coming back is going to be so intense... i asked for opinions in the discord where i should the scene i wrote abt jaemin seeing eunbin for the first time and the response i got is making me so excited. i really can't wait to see what you guys think either.

regarding the "nobody is watching us" when they were, jaemin only lied because he hated seeing mc so uncomfortable and wary. he lied to make her feel better... although, lying abt it wasn't exactly the best thing to do lmao. he had good intentions!! it just didn't come off that way unfortunately :(

with jaemin and yangyang, i can't really say much as this will be spoken abt in six(pt.2) but although jaemin knows yangyang has a thing for mc, in the back of his head, jaemin thinks yangyang only wants mc for one thing and one thing only. remember... yangyang is a fuckboy in this. they know him. i'll leave you with that :p

mc and jaemin have a deep connection, whether they'll admit it or not. mc, i believe, has fully realised their situation and their deep connection which is why she confessed abt liking him in part five... but with jaemin, jaemin is different. so it's going to be interesting to figure out where exactly he wants to stand with mc and if he wants anything more (which so fair, he's admitted to not wanting anything or not wanting to think abt it)

the scene with him staring at jeno after the party i left otu because it wasn't that interesting fkhjs;lk it was just him staring at jeno because he remembered the kiss from the night before LMAO. but the 'i appreciate you scene'... thats gonna be a favourite for sure

tysm for reading and giving me your thoughts and opinions!!! it means the most <3

#fic: the way life goes #🦄anon