#no gender and i don't like labels

[souliebird]

a quick PSA:

my pronouns are they/them

I do not identify with having a gender and do not particularly enjoy being referred to as a female or male in any context.

I understand I write for a female Reader in a female heavy fanfic space, but please keep in mind that doesn't mean I am.

#i understand modern gn terms for the queer community but please don't call me a girl #gender #soulie is just Soulie #no gender and i don't like labels

[gamora-borealis]

incoming dangender thoughts: the more I read up/watch the stuff dan has said about gender after BIG + reflect on what he said in BIG I'm like. y'all she really has been explicitly trying to tell us his gender IS formless blob (without making it a huge deal in the mainstream public eye), but so many people haven't actually been taking him seriously! like. labels are made up, dan has pretty much said as much before. why do we have to have a specific approved™ term to consider them genderqueer/nonbinary/trans? those are descriptive labels and dan has been using a fun descriptive label they created that he defined for us in BIG, a definition that matches up with those other labels! and dan has said since 2019 that he is comfortable with any pronouns even though he still mainly uses he/him. like, lately dan has been using more she/her and they/them for herself and experimenting with being more femme and/or androgynous in various ways, and what is changing is not even necessarily gender (although maybe who knows), but probably that dan is finally feeling more comfortable with different kinds of gender presentation and pronouns than she typically uses. because low-key gender is kind of a performance and it's scary to switch it up sometimes but dan feels safe doing so especially with their audience and I think that's actually really special 🧡 but moral of the story, dangender has actually been out in the open since 2019 and I wish more people picked up on that!

#idk dangender rant be upon ye #dan and phil #phan #i wasn't in the phandom in 2019 but when I watched BIG in 2022 I was like. #oh so it's like some older family I know who don't necessarily identify as nonbinary but are like. #my assigned gender means nothing to me I'm just me. #and the main reason those people don't id as nonbinary is because they are old and don't really get it or don't want to change labels #vs. dan is not too old i think it's about not liking labels and feeling pinned down and having publications write articles about it #but maybe that will change in june? to maybe clarify some stuff? idk #we'll see #anyways love her always #dangender

[sboochi]

It feels so liberating that Aziraphale and Crowley are allowed to not identify as male while still (usually) presenting as male and using male pronouns. I think it woke up something in me

#like I'm so detached from the concept of my own gender #but I also don't feel the need to use neutral pronouns or put specific labels on myself #I can just be me #and that's enough #huh #good omens

[angel-archivist]

It's so interesting and so exceedingly frustrating how agab is being utilized now within the queer community as a way to isolate and sort nonbinary and genderqueer folks into binary boxes that determine their moral purity levels, and their authority to do and write and exist.

The way nonbinary writers are being put under accusation of fetishizing gay men while their AGAB is continually brought up in a way that feels like queer-space-approved misgendering.

The way feminist circles that are supposedly trans-inclusive will use the word AFAB in a way that implicitly but intentionally isolates nonbinary people who aren't AFAB from joining. It's for women*.

The way the language is already flawed and leaves out intersex folks from the conversations while focusing on a binary of sex that isn't truthful.

The constant obsessing over whether someone is AFAB or AMAB and whether or not that gives them the privilege to join, do, write, or be present in certain spaces really really concerns me. How are we supposed to dismantle a binary system of gender if we can't even move past forcibly assigning and focusing on people's genders assigned at birth?

#and yes i understand! that agab language can in some circumstances be helpful in inclusive language and in the medical world but ultimately #is misgendering and unnecessary it should be up to the person to disclose their agab not an expectation of them to give up freely #I think that inclusive language shouldnt be misgendering in nature and agab as far as i can tell should only be used in select discussions #and certainly not as a way to frame a nonbinary writer as a “biological woman” but in a way where the queer community will nod along and sa #“oh they have a point” because you used the word AFAB instead #honestly afab is the term i see used most frequently and most harmfully towards other nonbinary people who don't identify w the label #to exclude trans women and amab nonbinary people #to frame nonbinary people as “still women” because of their assigned gender at birth #also i understand its not as simple as “not using” these terms bc they still serve a purpose and are important #but as they leave the queer community and as they enter the hands of cis queer people they become weapons #i wish i could like manifest my thoughts super clearly but i really cant bc its a difficult situation #its just another example of misogyny and bio-essentialism creeping into the queer community #because the patriarchy impacts all things including our discussions of trans oppression and gender we need to stop viewing it #as a strict binary of male female and oh sometimes we'll mention nonbinary people but we're all afab and amabs at the end of the day <3 #like flames literal flames #if you wanna like chip into the conversation just shoot me an ask or respond to the post i'd love to hear other peoples perspectives #im not infalliable so if i said anything you view as incorrect especially in regards to intersex folks and how you all would like to be #included in these discussions as im not intersex but am aware of how agab is a subject that leans into the idea of a binary of sex #so yeah rant over <3 #retro.bullshit #rant

[eebie]

#i personally feel like it's somewhere in between #like sexuality and gender i think it's where you decide to choose what label your experiences/feelings fall under #it's decided between the two people in the relationship #like intimacy can exist in every kind of relationship and it's upsetting to hear people say it can only happen in romantic ones #if i were in a relationship with someone i trusted Who had an intimate relationship with someone else #if i really trusted that person i'd have no problem with it Unless it very clearly started to affect our relationship #i don't think i'd call myself a very jealous person #maybe a little envious but not jealous lol #i think restricting intimacy to one person isn't very. healthy? i don't know #like there should be other people too. support networks #we're a social animal yknow ? #it can't be possible for one person to fulfill every single need #that's an unhealthy expectation that can put a strain on many relationships i think #there's a reason spider webs are made from joined threads of silk #they don't dangle from a single piece They'd get blown away in the wind #reason why i bring this up now is bc i just discussed this with my parents who hold very traditional views #idk how i ended up being so different from them LMAO #thanks steven universe i guess!!!

[iceeericeee]

Me: I'm so glad i finally figured out my identity! it took a while, but i can finally say with confidence that i am aroace

my gender: ...

me: don't even FUCKING think about it

#i don't need to be questioning my gender rn #i'll just leave it as genderfluid and stay like that until i'm ready to dive into all the different gender labels #literally just figuring out my sexuality/romance was a fuckin trip #and i don't want to go on it again any time soon #i'll tag this as genderfluid #genderfluid #gender fluid #gender-fluid

[ineed-to-sleep]

Funny how all it takes is a couple of conversations with a cis straight man about gender to make me go "yup I'm definitely not cis"

#listen I adore my stepfather ok but he's got a pretty traditional view of gender #he's very respectful of others and doesn't enforce it on anyone else #and I think it's not that toxic all things considered bc he sees 'manhood' as being primarily about being hard working and protecting other #but it's still very gender essentialist #and he sees a lot of things as 'man things' and 'woman things' #and talks about skills and roles that are 'men's' #and I'm just like well but I do a lot of those things. but I identify with a lot of the things you describe. #and he tries to go around it like 'ahh well but you have personal history with that' etc etc #we get along really well tho we don't fight or anything but it's interesting to me #it makes me realize just how much I'm outside of the binary in the eyes of cis people #and how much 'trying to be a man' or 'trying to be a woman' are things that hold no emotional meaning to me(personally) #I could not care less what makes me masculine or feminine or if either of those labels are revoked for some reason #taking on the label of woman or man feels like a burden to me bc it always comes with a set of expectations #I just wanna be me yk. I just want people to see me through the lens of 'this is a person' #'this is what this person likes. this is how this person behaves' #I just wanna turn off gender. can I do that? like just flip a switch and no one perceives me as anything anymore #in a perfect world maybe #sleep.txt #I honestly still don't fully understand how I feel about gender but. I know that I don't like being put into a box #the box is Evil.

[mirakurutaimu]

no one word is gonna encompass everyone’s experiences. quit freakin out about meaningless labels u dumbasses

#saw some brief discussion of the bi vs pan thing in my discord server earlier and my first reactio nwas #you guys are dumbasses #quit the fuckin infighting brew. just be what you wanna be. who fuckin cares #like who you wanna like. call yourself what you want. who cares. #if you try to police the usage of arbitrary ethereal terms to describe one's attraction to particular gender identities #which is in of itself an arbitrary #ethereal concept #newsflash dumbass! you are a fucking dumbass! #for a group of peoples against policing #us lgbtq+ folk seem to salivate and pounce at the opportunity to police one another #is it so hard to just chill the fuck out and let people live their lives #kinda why i stopped using labels tbh. i don't fucking care about all the stupid baggage and shit that comes with them

[marinsawakening]

Weighing in on the debate “Are you allowed to ship aromantic characters?” As an aromantic person, this is a difficult subject. On the one hand, we have characters who clearly and repeatedly state that they hate romance, do not feel romantic attraction, and don’t want to be in a relationship. On the other hand, we have your personal inability to engage with deep relationships without making them romantic. As a compromise, I say people are allowed to ship canon aromantic characters, provided they pay me at least $100 in cash for the license.

#my posts #aromantic #this is about the murderbot diaries fandom. btw. #me: you know the murderbot fics on ao3 are actually pretty good. most of them seem to understand the themes of the books #and most people seem to have gotten the hint and don't ship murderbot romantically. maybe I'm safe to check the tumblr tag #the tumblr tag: no you're not #me: ok noted #people will see a character repeatedly and consistently being romance-repulsed #and go 'is anyone gonna ship them' and not wait for an answer #it's rlly funny how quick seeing blatant shipping made me go from #'while in terms of human western labels murderbot obviously fits the definition of aromantic asexual and some flavour of nonbinary/agender' #'I do not feel like it's useful or desired to ascribe these labels to it as it consistently avoids labelling its gender' #'and in general seems unlikely to be the kind of person who'd want to use human western labels perhaps even if it was human' #to 'murderbot is not just aromantic it's a loveless nonpartnering aromantic suck my dick'

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

.

#My issue with side y discourse generally is when they say you shouldn't use queer lables because your identity in Christ should be first. #like yes it should but if you're also comfortable calling someone straight then you're being a hypocrite #because that is an identical kind of lable #and same with other labels! are you comfortable calling yourself your ethnicity? your age? your gender? your job title? #then you're doing the exact same thing and in none of those cases is it considered that you're not putting your identity in Christ first #if I said I'm british people wouldn't be like ooh you're prioritising being British above God #like I COULD but not by using the label itself #I'm British. I'm female. I'm 21. I'm straight. #vs I'm british. I'm female. I'm 21. I'm bisexual. #I think if people have an issue with the latter but not the former that logic just doesn't follow through #and i know some people are more comfortable saying SSA #which I totally respect #but a. I personally am not because it feels stigmatizing and b. that's still a label in the same way #idk man I just don't get this specific approach. #also I know that's not all side y. but it defo is some of them!!!

[themthistles]

i think that while micro labels can seem useful and affirming ultimately they're isolating and kind of an obstacle to your understanding of self. that's because you can never find a word specific enough. there will never be a label or two labels or even ten, twenty of them to perfectly capture and describe all of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, preferences, needs, interests, identities, etc. because you learn more and more about yourself every day and then you change and your wants and needs change with you. having to hop between labels, fearing that you don't 'fit' into a label anymore (both in your own and others eyes), worrying how soon your current label will wear out, questioning if you'll ever fully fit a single one. all that causes a lot of uncertainty and anxiety which could be avoided by just picking a more general thing and molding it according to what it means to YOU. because words will always mean different things to different people, you will never be understood immediately and maybe never completely by anyone but yourself and that's fine

#another thing is that micro labels often feel like they fracture the community unnecessarily #idk how many times i've seen fighting over hyperspecific ace labels and what they mean and if people described in them even belong #and honestly i think this discourse wouldn't be so vile and neverending if people accepted the idea of falling under general umbrella #and accepted that you can't describe complicated weird and wonderful act of human existence with a couple of words #you don't need to explain yourself to anyone #i know in our present pronouns/sexuality/gender in bio carrd era it feels like you have to but you really don't #people aren't entitled to a short summary of your inner world and you can't speed run connection #also feel the need to say: i have nothing against people who use micro labels #if you feel like your micro label describes you perfectly? i'm really glad and happy for you #i'm just expressing my own thoughts and feelings that come from personal experience with exploring these things #at some point i started doubting if i could call myself a lesbian #i thought oh i'm not exactly what a lot of people generally think of when they hear that word #oh they'll misunderstand and i'm not being my 'true self' i'll find a word that fits me exactly if i just keep looking #and then i found out being aroace is a thing and boy did that add a lot of anxiety and confusion to the pot #i didn't feel like i fit in with both communities wasn't lesbian enough wasn't aroace enough #but at some point i just got tired of trying to justify myself to others and to myself #identities aren't houses you live in they're more like seas or rivers flowing into one another #and spaces where they intersect are vague and hard to define and they shift and change and this metaphor is getting away from me #basically #words are complicated #but they're the only direct way we humans can communicate #it is what it is #so make art #a lot of it #oh also unrelated but if you ever tell older queer folks that they're using wrong words to describe themselves i am going to jump you

[uter-us]

its strange seeing how people phrase questions, and how they illicit certain answers. like "do you believe in trans people?" i've increasingly found strange. because like... what does that even mean? its hard to answer these directly without qualifying. i understand in some sense what they mean, so if i were to respond with "no", then the response would just be "well we exist! we're here and we're q*eer!" but the alternative, "yes" also does not convey what i mean yk?? like the phrasing and word choice has set us up yk? and emotionally charged too, ( do you believe in us? ), which definitely reflects the ideology.

im confident we're not immune to this problem either. kind of a throw away post but i was j thinking abt this. its interesting having previously been asked this. im just forced to qualify (which is fine ofc), but the question is a bit dishonest imo

#like i don't deny there are in the most literal sense people who identify as trans #i just deny the legitimacy of the label and the ideology that follows. #radfem #radblr #terfsafe #gender critical #not j a reblog tag

[girlboyburger]

Its-using animals club!

Alas i feel your pain, especially when someone's go-to response is "isn't using it/its dehumanizing?"

right. like. it doesn't matter if you think it's dehumanizing. it's what i want to be called, and like my name, you'll call me by it / its or we will not be having further conversation.

to me, personally, that's like. kind of a huge part of the appeal? full respect to those living in the "it can be a moment, it can be the mountains or the sunset" because, me too! but also a massive appeal to it / its is i can easily sum my gender up as some kinda boygirlthing. it/its he/she. like an animal you don't know the gender of.

#i know i already rambled about it in the tags of the of post so i wont ramble too much more but #my realtionship with my gender is funky and has been a very very very VERY long road #but at the end of that road ive realized that. labels (for me) are overrated. theyve always kinda mean what they mean to the person using #them. and give a vauge understanding of what they mean to the person hearing those labels #like. i don't consider myself nonbinary. i *AM* binary to some degree #i also wouldnt consider myself trans fem or trans masc. i'm trans. i'm pretty often seen as both or either. so ah. if the shoe fits. #i'm wearing them with ripped shorts and a collar #not to mention leaning fem or masc or neutral for me is tied heavily to my relationship with others. #if i'm with a girl i fancy myself more of a butch and if i'm with a guy i fancy myself more of a bear (✨) #<- (that's a special lil fem twist. imagine i flipped my hair or smthn) #but. that's a whole other can of worms and i've already lied and started rambling in the tags #i love you queer. if no label got my back i know queer got my back. #ask #cryptidchiroptera

[solradguy]

Always kind of surprises me how many people still call me 7oby over any of the other random handful of names I go by online because I think the only place I still have it listed is one line halfway down my pinned on here haha

I don't really care what people call me though; I've got like 10+ names at any given moment and am equally indifferent to them all. It's just interesting how that name in particular with its goofy Halo number has stuck around for almost 20 years rofl

#textpost #Names are weird. They're like gender to me. I don't feel strongly about any of it but I know for sure what I'm 100% not #Gender and names n shit's just too much introspection #I've gotten it figured out to a rough enough point and would rather focus on something else now instead #Probably it all loops back to how much I despise labels. Don't ever put me into a box

[forcebookish]

if arkarm were really both supposed to be gay for you then why was arm made admin of a Hot Boy facebook page in the first place? shouldn't he just be gay from the start? sus writing choice tbh

#MAYBE i missed something in the translations and he was bi from the start bc he does say 'beautiful people' but i think thai is enough of a #gender neutral language that that could mean anything #i KNOW that ark is 100% gay for you and they better do something to change it #also like. i don't wanna yuck anyone's yum #but i do have Issues with how on board the fandom has gotten with labeling them as bisexual (based on the novel) #imo when it's this trope that is too generous an interpretation and we really should push back against gay for you and its prevalence in bl #(especially bl written by women. obv it's a fallacy that all fujos are str8 women 'fetishizing' gay men but there are still prejudiced ways #that some women write queer men and that should be recognized as a real problem) #i think p'new did a really good job altering abaab enough that it avoided gay for you and gave him a storyline that also included exploring #and questioning his sexuality in a meaningful way and made him all but explicitly bi #and i'm sure they'll make changes for this script too #but i think people should be more critical of gay for you and not just be like THEY'RE BI :) when it wasn't the author's intention #intention isn't everything death of the author blah blah it still matters how queer people are portrayed in the first place #not just our interpretations #anywayyyyyyyyyyyyy #more shit that i can't say on twitter because someone would misinterpret it and get mad at me lol #ptl liveblog

[bravevolunteer]

ngl every time i see the "cis" in michael's bio it feels. Wrong. like i see it and i go "i'm probably gonna non conform his gender one of these days"

#the problem i think is i don't know exactly in what way HE'S JUST. HE'S GENDER. #and i know not everything necessarily needs to be put in labels but for the sake of a character bio. It Kinda Does to a certain degree KJDF #i support the transmasc swag michaels the vibes are certainly there but i don't think that's the route mine is going down #MORE SO JUST. that rotting corpse is gnc af. all attachments to being amab are rooted in societal ideas (bc he DOES especially pre 83 get #caught up in seeming 'like a man' or tougher he did try to project an image reflecting his father (who was also constantly putting up walls #and masks whatever you think they may be but i digress) he will be initially hesitant (*cough* closeted) to experiment with gender roles) #but when you pull that back he honestly couldn't give a fuck less! he doesn't think about it all that much! #and yeah that's just. That's What Gender Is. Societal. but look i get VIBES. #or maybe i'm just nonbinary and desperately want to steal his look. who knows really KDFSHJGFHDJK #⁂ ･ﾟ: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc