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fairyhaos · 5 months

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❖ take care of me anyway // yoon jeonghan

jeonghan x gn!reader, 1.7k+ words

tags: office worker!jeonghan not rlly relevant to the plot tho, sick fic, fluff, established relationship

warnings: brief fever-induced hallucinations ig?? but theyre rlly cute, pet names, reader has a cold

notes: im sick. like, 'i have a cold' sick. and i also have another sick fic planned so uhh yeah im a little Unwell in the head too

There are ten minutes left of Jeonghan’s lunch break when you finally call him.

“Hello, my darling,” he says, his tone both parts dry and amused. “How are you?”

“Sick,” you reply, and even just that word sounds horribly bunged up. “But you knew that already, didn’t you? You called in sick for me.”

Jeonghan just hums, smiling a little as he adjusts the phone against his ear, walking down the street back to his company building. “Maybe I did.”

You don’t say anything for a moment, and he can almost hear you pouting on the other end of the line. There’s a rustling sound as you adjust yourself in bed, and he sighs.

“How sick are you?”

“Very,” you say, miserably, and then give a series of harsh, wet coughs that has him wincing. “Very sick. I only just woke up, but my head is just…” You don’t finish your sentence. Just make a very pained sound like a wounded puppy.

Jeonghan chuckles. “Gee, I wonder how you managed to get so sick. It’s not like walking home in the pouring rain without a coat makes you ill, isn’t it?”

You whine at that, upset. “Han, I told you, I was gonna call you but my phone was dead. I had no choice! Wanted to get home fast to see you,” you add in a mumble, sounding dejected.

He smiles at that. “It wasn’t like I was going anywhere, though,” he points out. “I was all comfortably squished on the couch. I wasn’t gonna disappear any time soon. You could’ve taken your time. Waited for the rain to pass.”

“Yeah, but still,” you huff petulantly, then sniff. “Can you make soup when you get back home?” you ask after a beat, and sniffle again. “And also buy some tissues? And meds? And give me cuddles?”

Jeonghan chuckles at how pitiful you sound, resisting the urge to coo. “No.”

“What?” You’re whining again, and you sound all bunged up but Jeonghan just smiles, amused. “But your darling Y/N is currently suffering the worst cold in the entire world.”

“But alas, I think my darling Y/N is the sole person to blame for this cold,” Jeonghan says, lips twitching upwards. “Don't you think so?”

“Come take care of me anyway.”

“No.”

You make a noise of discontent, sheets rustling as you shift around in bed again. “Hmph. Worst boyfriend ever. I’m breaking up with you.”

That makes him laugh, the stunned sound being pulled out of him by your deadpan tone, and he grins to himself out on the street, rounding the corner until his company building is in sight. “Whatever you say,” he singsongs. “I’ll see later, okay?”

“Whatever. Bye.” A pause. “Have a nice day.”

Jeonghan smiles as you hang up, looking fondly down at your contact name. He’s standing in front of the company entrance, now, and he has three minutes of his break left. Just enough time to get into the elevator and up to his office.

He pockets his phone, turns on his heel and traipses off to find the nearest pharmacy.

───────────── 🧂

You’ve been drifting in and out of sleep the entire day, constantly stuck in that drowsy, so-sick-that-nothing-feels-real state, and you’ve hallucinated Jeonghan coming home a total of thirteen times in the past five hours.

At least, you think it’s been five hours.

Maybe it’s been less than that.

Whatever. Time is weird.

The point is, your mind is all fuzzy and everything feels like it’s floating, so when someone who looks an awful lot like Jeonghan comes into the room, you just groan. Hallucination Jeonghan #14 has come to pay you a visit, it seems, so you just frown and give him the response that you’ve given all his other clones.

“Go away. Stop trying to sell me fish.”

Hallucination Jeonghan #14 makes a confused noise at that, walking closer to your bed, leaning over to adjust your pillows and pull you up into a more upright position.

“I don’t want your fish,” you say, just in case he didn’t hear you the first time. “Stop it.”

That makes the hallucination chuckle, and his hand comes up to your forehead.

Cold. Huh. None of the other hallucinations touched you before.

His hand drops from your forehead, swiping at the soft skin under your eyes gently, and his fingers are blessedly cool against your skin. You hadn’t realised how much you were burning up before.

“You’re really, really sick,” Hallucination Jeonghan #14 murmurs, and he sounds so concerned, before pulling out a bottle of water from one of the plastic bags he’s holding. Woah, you hadn’t even realised he was holding them. “Here, darling. Drink.”

You obediently take a sip once he uncaps the lid for you, before making small noises of distress when some of it spills down your shirt. Hallucination Jeonghan #14 (wow was it a mouthful to say, even in your head) just hushes you gently, dabbing at it with tissues that he’d procured from the plastic bags.

“It’s okay,” he says softly, and his hands take yours, clasping them around the bottle. Once you’re holding it, he gets up, and for a horrible moment, you think this hallucination is going to leave again. You kind of like this one.

“Where’re you going?” you ask, but it comes out as more of a slur of vowels. You’re not sure he understood a word.

“Drink up,” is all he says. He fishes out a packet of pills from the bag (it’s like a magic bag, you think blearily. It seems to have everything inside it). “Have these as well, okay? I’ll go make that soup you wanted.”

You nod, blinking. Dutifully, you sip the water that the hallucination has left you, because really this was one of the most gentle, doting, Jeonghan-like Hallucination Jeonghan and it kind of feels like he really does have your best interests at heart.

Unlike the other Hallucination Jeonghans, who just wanted to sell you fish. This one really seemed to care about your well-being.

You blink again, slowly.

Oh.

By the time Jeonghan comes back with a gently steaming bowl of chicken soup on a tray with a mug of tea, you're more lucid than before, pouting at him as he comes closer, having remembered his last words before you’d hung up the phone.

“You said you weren’t going to take care of me.”

Jeonghan doesn’t say anything, setting the tray on the bedside table, before sitting down on the edge of your bed, wordlessly picking up the bowl and spoonfeeding you some soup. You open your mouth easily, and he hums in approval with a smile.

“What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let my darling be sick all alone, hm?” he says. “I can’t do that. Especially if you’re also seeing hallucinations of me who are trying to sell you fish.”

He continues feeding you soup in tiny sips, and the entire situation feels weirdly vulnerable, with you propped up on pillows and Jeonghan making small noises of approval every time you successfully swallow a spoonful. Like you’re a little baby bird, or something.

But he smiles so lovingly at you the entire time, so it’s kind of hard to feel too embarrassed.

“Well done,” Jeonghan murmurs, once you’ve finished half of the bowl. Your boyfriend is affectionate, almost overbearingly so at times, always poking you in the side or pinching your cheeks or tweaking your nose, but the softness with which he treats you right now is a whole other level of affection entirely.

Jeonghan cares deeply for you. You know that. You’ve never doubted how much he loves you, and he never gives you reason to doubt it. But still, when he smooths down your hair and strokes the back of your hand and gazes at you so gently, it makes you realise yet again that oh God, he loves you.

“We’re going to get you to finish the rest of the soup in a minute,” he says, reaching down towards the plastic bag at his feet, “but first. I wanted you to have this.”

Out of the bag, he pulls out…

A fluffy bunny plushie.

You blink, tilting your head, sniffing in confusion and also to try and unblock your bunged up nose. “What?”

“Say hi to Jjongie,” Jeonghan says. “He came up to me when I was buying your soup, and I couldn’t not bring him home.” The bunny’s pink ears flop adorably into its eyes as he holds out the soft toy to you. It even has a cream coloured ribbon around its neck. “He’s gonna keep you company whenever I can’t be here for you.”

“Oh,” you say softly, taking Jjongie from him with a smile. You rub your thumb over the soft fur of the bunny’s cheek. “He’s adorable.”

Jeonghan beams, proud. “Of course he is. He’s a me-substitute.”

You look up at him, smiling. “Han, I—” You can’t finish your sentence, too choked up. Literally. You suddenly start coughing, hand coming up to cover your mouth, and Jeonghan rushes forward with the mug of tea and an opened box of tissues that he suddenly procured out of nowhere.

“Hey, it’s okay, no need to cry over it,” he says teasingly as you glare at him, eyes tearing up from how hard you’re coughing. You accept the tissues and, when he pushes the tea insistently in you direction, you take the mug too.

“Yeah, yeah.” You blow your nose with one hand and then drink the tea, noting with a smile the subtle notes of honey in it. “Thank you,” you add, softly, looking down at Jjongie in your lap. Jeonghan really has gone out of his way for you.

Jeonghan just shakes his head, picking up the soup bowl again. “Thank me once you get better,” he says. “You can take care of me after. I’ll probably be catching your illness from looking after you.”

You grin, blowing your nose again, and even you can’t miss the way that Jeonghan watches you, eyes devastatingly fond.

“Yeah, but you’re gonna look after me anyways, aren’t you?”

Jeonghan grins, unashamedly bright. He taps the spoon against your lips, smiling wider when you sip the soup, the mug of tea in your hands, Jjongie the bunny in your lap.

“Duh. I love you too much not to.”

fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @zozojella @kawennote09 @thedensworld @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @doublasting @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @evasaysstuff @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @jeonride @kellesvt @butiluvu @sakufilms @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @amxlia-stars @raevyng @isabellah29

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solarwoniii · 11 months

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how they keep you quiet during sex ! zb1 legal line

smut, crack, some fluff ! includes jiwoong, zhanghao, hanbin, matthew, taerae and ricky

imagine ; you and [boyfriend ! member] are doing the deed in the dormitory and have to stay quiet if you don't want to get caught. what do they do in order to keep you quiet?

contains ; punishments, gagging (?), spanking + scratching,

a/n ; uhmm ricky smut is EXTREMELY angsty and i feel vv bad sooo heres this silly funny little gift before i drop . . . THAT

jiwoong - shoves your panties into your mouth ;

sir woong is nasty wbk 😶😶

would he be aggressive about it ? yes.

but would you enjoy it ? also yes

its a win-win babes

this prolly goes without saying but he definitely gets extremely turned on watching you get ur insides rearranged with your panties in your mouth 🤭🤭🤭 ok shutting up ab jiwoong now im sorry this man makes me go feral sometimes i cant help it

zhanghao - stops every time you make noise ;

yea hes a bitch

TO BE FAIR he did try telling you to stfu but you couldn't help but make noise so it was his only choice

so annoying fr 🙄🙄 wld prolly laugh at u if u get frustrated

at least now you know better than to be loud when his members are around

hanbin - spanks you / scratches you ;

i think we've already established that our hanbin is a WHORE.

he likes the little red marks on your thighs and ass after he's done with you.

don't mind him babes he's just creating his art and marking his territory

matthew - covers your mouth with his hand ;

our bbyg matthew is already vv touchy with you so i feel like this fits him very well

i feel like sex like this with him wld be so fun and giggly tho so even if the other members heard u they wld prolly think you guys are just watching a stupid movie or playing fashion famous together (HELPPP i want to play fashion famous with matthew so bad now)

taerae - hushes you / kisses you ;

idk i just have this idea in my mind where i feel like taerae is TERRIFIED of punishing u bc hes so sweet and nice and ure his little baby and hes so in love with you and jsjsjsjsjsjsjsjs

hes like that one teacher whos too kind to yell at the class when theyre being too loud so he's just like 'guys guys guys pls guys wait pls guys be quiet pls' but instead hes like 'shh baby they're going to hear us'

kisses come next if that doesnt work 😭 pls be nice and stfu now this man is going to freak out if that doesnt work he has no option 3

ricky - shoves his fingers into your mouth ;

yeaaaaaa sure sure he could use your panties as a little mouth plug 😶 but wheres the fun in that ??????

gets off to watching you suck on his fingers like the little whore he is

LOLLL TRY MAKING NOISE NOW IDIOT

sucks on his fingers after and watches you combust into flames while he does it

#zb1 #zerobaseone #zb1 jiwoong #zb1 zhanghao #zb1 hanbin #zb1 matthew #zb1 taerae #zb1 ricky #zb1 smut #zerobaseone smut #zb1 fluff #zb1 drabbles

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michaelmyersmybeloved · 1 year

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hey love, could you do an RZ! Michael Myers, Bubba Sawyer, and Thomas hewitt smut where a the male!reader is tied up and sitting in their lap and they've never messed around with other boys before (or theyve never gotten themselves off) so theyre just overstimulating thr fuck outta the reader continually jacking him off till he's crying whining 🤭🤭 it can be hesd canons or whateverd easiest to write <33

Of course I can <33

I'll go with little headcannons and a little fic for each <33

Rz Michael Myers, Bubba Sawyer, and Thomas Heweit with a Male! s/o who's tied up in their lap

Minors please DNI!

RZ! Michael Myers

The moment you showed any sign of arousal, Michael knew.

The thing though, was he was not going to reciprocate it.

Just to see what happens (he does a little trolling)

Eventually he cant take it anymore, seeing you walk around with a boner, making little noises as you shift uncomfortably.

He ties you up, with little protest at all.

His hand wanders down your chest, tugging at your clothes slightly, but never taking anything off (cus he's such a tease)

Michael gets what he wants, so when he ghosts his hand over the raging election in your pants, he nearly begins rutting into you. He takes your pants off, and starts rubbing you slowly.

"Michael please, please go faster"

Of course he can oblige, but will he? You've been kinda bad Y/n. Getting all aroused and not coming to him.

Once he figures out he's your first, his chest swells up with pride. He is the one making you whine the way you are, HE is the one who will bring you to your first release.

Will make you cum at least 3 times

"Please michael, go faster, pleasepleaseplease, oh god." Sitting in Michael's lap was pushing it as it is, but sitting in his lap, tied up, and with a boner? Now you're asking for it.

He rubs you up and down, cock weeping with pre, whines and moans escaping from your lips. Of course, Michael is only going to continue teasing you.

As you feel your third orgasm approaching, suddenly Michael speeds up, hand twisting and rubbing your length until you burst. Shaking, tears begin to roll down your cheeks. "Please Mikey, n-no more!" "Oh fuck fuck fuck Mikey please ah fuck~" He only stops when you can't speak anymore <33

Bubba Sawyer

Goodness is he overwhelmed when you're walking around with a boner. Whenever he gets them, he immediately excuses himself, so why aren't you?

He comes up with the conclusion that you need help with your little 'problem'.

As soon as your on his lap, you're squirming. We can't have that now can we?

Once you're nice and tied up, he teases your hard on through your pants, other hand tracing your hard nipples.

Eventually, your pants come off, and Bubba makes you cum so hard you're seeing stars. 'Where did he even learn how to move his hand like that?'

He already knows he's your first, so he wants to make it special and feel good.

"Bubba please, please oh my god" as your second orgasm approaches, he keeps on at his brutal, but loving pace. "Please Bubba, I can barely see, please oh god let me cum please please please."

He leans into your neck, licking and nibbling, until he gets to a spot that's making you see stars. "Oh god Bubba right there yes, yesyesyes please!" Of course he continues, using your pre as lube. He knows you're close, so he speeds up, and takes satisfaction in the whines coming from your mouth.

Thomas Hewitt

Once he catches wind (by that I mean sees with his own two eyes) of your erection, he's immediately scooping you up to your shared bedroom.

He knows you've never done anything like this before, but that's okay cus neither has he.

He sits you in his lap and holds your wrists behind you, stroking your cock through your jeans.

"Please Tommy, just take me"

He isnt ready to completely have sex yet tho, so this is what you get for now y/n.

Your third orgasm is approaching quickly, and Tommy knows. He slows his hand, and drags out your ogasm.

Thomas knew he was your first, so of course he's making you feel good. He does not expect anything in return, so just lay back onto his chest and let him make you feel good.

"Oh my god Tommy please, please go faster" 'no, no I don't think I will.'

Of course he can't stand your whines (lovingly) so he speeds up, and let's you cum. He only stops when you beg him to <3

I hope this was okay! I'm not too well varsed in masturbation writing yet so this was good practice. Thank you so much for the request <33

#rz!michael myers #michael myers x male reader #michael myers x reader #michael myers #bubba sawyer headcanons #bubba sawyer x male reader #bubba sawyer x reader #michael myers headcanons #thomas hewitt x male reader #thomas hewitt x reader #thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt headcanon #thomas hewitt headcannons #slashers x reader #slashers x male reader #slasher headcanons

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gardenwons · 7 months

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Idk if anyone has asked this or if you take recs if not you can just ignore this but I just feel like jungwon would love to have sex in the car

Wether it’s in the side of the road after you’ve teased him, in an empty parking lot at ungodly hours after a date night or after driving to a destination to a nice view to go stargazing and you just looked too perfect to him

like even tho he likes to keep things in the bedroom in general he can’t find it in himself to wait and drive all the way back and usually the backseat is more than enough for you two…

He usually wants to keep you all to himself, be the only one to see you like that but the idea of someone passing by, seeing the fogged up windows or noticing the car moving and watching them doesn’t even seem to bother him during anymore because he would be so focused on you and think that from the amount of noise you were making they had to know how good he makes you feel and that you where his either way

Idk if that made any sense I’m sorry ahah

my anons and i go hand in hand with exhibitionism fr.

ill be posting a fic on this bc ily anon and u were stuck in my drafts for so so long 🥺 but GOD how jungwon thrives in knowing that you and him can be caught anytime, how he visions someone seeing you getting fucked dumb by him. He'd probably start baby steps— fucking you on the sofa while the other members are sound asleep in their respective rooms, it's no question that everyone knows him to be so possessive but knowing that someone's watching (someone did) jungwon would just smirk at how he knows theyre probably drooling over you and how only HE could fuck such a pretty thing.

#aik’s thoughts #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #jungwon scenarios #jungwon hard thoughts #jungwon hard hours #jungwon smut #jungwon x reader

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keyofradiance · 5 months

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youve heard all about how ive hated change before, time to hear it again!

(honkai ui edition)

really just a post discussing what i like and dont like abt the ui

whys everything so sharp its soooo ugly

restructuring of the main buttons is fine (i will miss you valkyja tho) except for the little “important thing” button it feels off not being next to attack

new supply icon is much weaker

equipment to equip is a weird choice

of course the new elf button is elysia. its nice art tho

i get what theyre doing with the attack button but it looks out of place

the small buttons all look really good actually

the really transparent buttons make them feel smaller even the ones that got larger

dont like the new “click” noise. its like.. wet? i think the old one fit fine

the dark box for the notifs bar amount is super out of place

bar itself is pretty much unchanged so

ill miss the italic writing but i get why it was changed

captain lvl exp bar parts that are unfilled are really hard to see. like it goes all the way to the bp but barely looks that way

the new phone fucking sucks like its literally just a rectangle

the “new!” text is hard to read actually

text is just unnaturally small

old maxed stamina is much better

the orange notifs are abt the same

more hexagons please

the weapon being visible is pretty sick actually

MY FUCKING BRIDGE. ITS GONE. AND REPLACED WITH THE VOID RELATED TO TYPE. IM SO MAD ITS SOOOOOO FUCKING UGLY FREE ME FROM THIS GENSHIN ASS DESIGN

back and home should both have text like serious downgrade

you can click on the type the valk is and see the type chart which is super nice actually

i like the multiple indicators of type in the new character selection considering they replaced the old backgrounds

even more slants/italics killed.. so sad

smaller icons for the select is kinda annoying but i do get it

the outfit/photo/etc buttons being together out is nice

stigmata thing should be bigger its just a lot of blank space thats really ugly

clear guide/tutorial/appreciation mode buttons are really nice

i dont think shes centered anymore

the lack of crystals/coins/stamina bothers me.,you use these to upgrade/get characters why would you remove them

lack of boxes around the skills and battlesuit info is also really ugly

still doesnt seem to have easy access to gear/team plans

#bee buzzes

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autisticempathydaemon · 2 months

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THIS IS FOR THE MATCH-UPS AND ALSO /NF TO DO, IF YOU DONT WANNA, ITS OKAY! :D

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? — OOOH definitely Dance with me by Topline Addicts, as for lyrics: You say "come and dance with me", but I'm a bit too shy so I just smile politely (its giving me so much Lasko vibes this part and I love it)

What is your Enneagram type? — 9w1 the peacemaker (k think thats what its called)

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why? — I never heard of them (if they are a person bcs I tried to look them up but no luck, unless if you mean subnautica–?) I'm sorry ;-; /lh

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. — Not really an imaginary friend, but I guess I could count my daydreams of myself as a fairy princess when I was a kid? So charming and pretty and powerful as hell, getting the hearts of those fictional character I loved at that time

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? — Always lying on the side, my back facing the wall. I try to sleep on my back but it's not working so far, other than these, I need complete darkness and quiet, bcs I get stiff when I hear a noise

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?) — If there was this name in my country, I would go for Jax or Jaxen, gender neutral and short and has a nice punch to it!

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? — Lasko fucking Moore. This guy almost took down the channel, was number one before the purge, keeps breaking stuff even in his apartment, he is just like me fr /hj (Lasko kinnie here) and even lately, I love his development so much, like he will always be my number one (I love other characters too tho!)

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) — It's I guess because of how much he is popular? I love Sam, but I sometimes forget how much favorite he is and it always surprised me /lh

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. — The Smoke Thieves by Sally Green, I love the dialogues between two characters, which one is kinda always flirty (not in Gavin way, he is like "youre so pretty and your pretty eyes omg") and so chill and happy with the other, who is awkward and doesn't know how to accept compliments and theyre so gay omg

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? — I dont wanna answer this because that means I have to choose /j./lh (... Huxley... I will smooch his cheeks. As a friend.)

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) — It depends on the mood while I'm tired, but most of the time, it's my Redacted OCs currently, especially when I'm so tires I can't even type right LMAO

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. — Some chocolate snack bar and milkshake in a bottle

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. — I made it yesterday, but it's all kinds of happy sounding songs and OST without any lyrics and it feels so nice to bop into it

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? — Wattpad books,, i wanna get back into reading some, its been years

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! — I'm libra sign, INFP, I like the nights and sunrises, have many redacted OCs (around 20 of them, i like to play with the kinds of powers and try to mix them and experiment) and I like to text RP! I also currently work on my gaslamp fantasy WIP book(?), I'm undiagnosed neurodivergent (possibly audhd), dyslexic and I also listen to Mr Laveau's Nexus AUDIO RP series (recommending if you like video games sfx and original art) and started listening to DND group The Adventure Zone!

I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE DAY/NIGHT/ALL THE TIME! :D

Okay, so you know who I’ve always thought should really be into fantasy and DnD? Asher, and since canon hasn’t yet confirmed he loves these things, you can be his introduction!

The combination of your personality types and your being a writer gives me the image of an emotional and emotionally intelligent person, which I think is a good match for Asher who is also pretty emotionally intelligent! I think your vibes would really match, and together you two could be, like, the heart of the Shaw Pack as the Beta and his mate. Also, Asher is some sort of flavor of neurodivergent, and I love making ND4ND pairs, ya know?

Your life together would be so FUN, I’m actually jealous. I think getting Asher into DnD and games would be such a treat, listening to TAZ together, helping him learn rules and the different systems, maybe putting together a campaign with Angel and Davey because Angel would be a fuckin bomb DM, I feel it in my heart. He’d also be such a lovely partner for a writer. I can very clearly imagine Asher laying his head on your lap, having you read what you’ve written that day aloud to him which functions as both a cute bonding activity but also a way for you to spot-check and edit how it reads.

Song:

What would you do if I stole you tonight? (Ahh ahh)/ Why waste time? (Ahh ahh)/ 'Cause the world goes on without us/ It doesn't matter what we do/ All silhouettes with no regrets/ When I'm melting into you/ 'Cause I belong in your arms

One, you said you like happy-sounding songs, and I think this is a great one. I love it’s kind of dreamy, high vibe, you know? Two, this came out around 2012, when Asher would have been a teenager, so I like how nostalgic and romantic this song would be for him.

Runner-ups:

For a writer who loves fantasy, OC’s, and roleplay games, Guy is a sure shoe-in for a runner-up! I think he and Asher have a lot of similarities, but I went with Asher because he struck me as a better match for an introvert. For a Lasko kinnie, I had to choose Aaron as another contender because they’re my favorite Redacted rarepair, and I’ve been meaning to write something for that shop for a while.

note: thank you for your entry, I hope you like it!

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

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istherewifiinhell · 2 months

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Carrot Pineapple Muffins

The recipe for the muffins seen here, well. Sort of anyway.

Recipe as written, on a page from maybe a website or book? I just have a photo copy I reprint as needed (read: as the paper falls victim to mishaps)

1 1/2 cups flour

1 cup sugar

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp salt

2/3 cup salad oil

2 eggs

1 cup finely grated raw carrot

1/2 cup crushed pineapple with juice

1 tsp vanilla

Sift flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and salt together in large bowl. Add oil, eggs, carrot, pineapple and vanilla.

Blend on low speed until all is moist, then beat for 2 minutes at medium speed. Half fill greased muffin tins and bake at 350 F for 25 minutes.

Makes 24 muffins. -Mrs. W. Atkins Agincourt, Ontario

Well thank u Mrs. Agincourt, the impact uve had on my life is not insubstantial. If you would like these muffins id def reccomend just making them as is...

however... u dont have a recipe in your life this long and Not Fuck With It.

Number One alteration that ive never NOT done (well maybe once by accident?) blend those pineapples. well it very well might be to ppls preference to have little morsels of pineapple in there. but a blended pineapple slurry just makes it like. applesauce muffins. just a nice moist texture throughout idk

Number 1.5 is u can make this a cake if u like. i guess thats obivious. BUT. Its good. i had this for many a birthday. ice that shit, normal buttercream please what is with the cream cheese obsession i dont know. do what u like but dont limit urself to expectation okay. Bakes into a nice really brown cake. U gotta bake this recipe like 'well done' if u want it to have any kind of structural intregrity so its kinda? crusty? i like it tho.

Number 2. ratios. in an impluse that im sure started in some healthy eating for the kids blah blah. but its just how i make it now. I tend to increase the pineapple and decrease the oil and use one egg? how much?? ehhhhhh..... like like a cup of pineapple. and 1/3 oil? does that math out? probably not idk. dont do it like how i do it maybe probably but thats how i do it

ALSO. MORE CINNAMON. Live deliciously. could go up to a tbsp of cinnamon honestly. Maybe even apple pie or chai spices. Could do whatever.

Number 3. definitional quibbles. "makes 24 muffins" whos muffins.... i find this tends to make me about 15 large muffins. maybe 16-18 if u want to be safe from over flow? and more if u want to fill em with a jam thing.

"finely grated carrot" using a grater with wholes less that like... idk half a centremeter gives me a bad time. u want like. chedder cheese size not parmesan.

oh also "salad oil" i use canola or vegatable. is that what it means by that? [makes i dunno noise] you could sub with various melted fats. there would be differences but not a big deal. butter or marg or coconut. whatever.

Number 4. Process. Oh mostly just I mix all the liquids together and then add them to the dry ingredients. (u could pop them all into blender together if u want) im mixing this shit by hand so u know. usuaully i do carrots a dry ingredient but that might not even be a good choice again ignore what im doing.

and again bake time. Ur really gonna want to check on them to to make sure their done. like toothpick check colour check whatever. their moist so its not a big like. over cook problem i think. AND i think theyre really good after sitting in the fridge or freezer and getting reheated (fresh baked goods are soooo tasty but a microwave is also a wonderful invention)

post thought. the jam. i dont usually fill these muffins usually i save that for applesauce ones, but i did last time. i tend to just heat whatever frozen berries, little lemon or lime juice. uhhhh maybe 1/4 cup of sugar? in a small sauce pan. how much fruit. ??? enough. i fill each muffin with like. a tablespoon. so idk. math that one out. needs to be a thick sauce! (however if its TOO thick then u also lose out on messy pick apart muffin treat. ur call) and chilled. if u wanna avoid Big Mess Muffin. lmao. u could swril the jam in or whatever else to but. effort.

#some shit #howssss this lmao #as always all my cooking/baking experience is EXTREMELY. oh eh you know #when they say baking is a science u gotta know. theres a lot of ways to do science.

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drpeppertummy · 4 months

Text

ok some actual tummy-oriented sunny thoughts of varying steaminess haphazardly cobbled together from discord messages (bc thats where all my thoughts get thunk)

thinkin about sunny & executive dysfunction. thinkin about sunny wanting to get up & make himself some dinner so bad but he just Cannot. i would never project onto him what are you talking about. for as much as he overeats i think sunny finds himself in that predicament often too. cant make himself get up. or sometimes he'll be in too much of a Mental State™️ to eat

his belly rumbles at the sight or mention of food unless hes like already stuffed. he is Utterly Cartoonish

if sunny falls asleep with his belly out laurie & carrie & dave are gonna try to draw on it. it doesnt work well bc hes so hairy but theyre trying. big marker. maybe some paint if they got it lyin around. maybe some stickers. its a miracle he doesnt feel it. he doesnt mind til he has to get cleaned up & then if theres paint & stickers instead of just marker its all caught in his belly hair

ive always got sunny on the tummy end but i think he gives excellent tummy rubs. surprisingly gentle & tender. any time lauries tummy hurts shes in good hands. he enjoys givin her tummy rubs as much as she enjoys receiving them bc shes all soft & warm & nice to touch. sometimes he'll start kneading like a cat & shes like❔ but thats usually when her tummys Not Upset so she doesnt mind. sometimes its kinda nice

thinking about sunny hangin out with [noise-sensitive friend]. i think if he realized his loud nasty burps were bothering them hed try to keep them quiet but hes not very good at it so he might also try to hold them in & swallow em back down. but then his bellys getting so rumbly hes makin a bunch of noise either way. i think inevitably tho its gonna become Too Much for his tummy & such a big ones gonna come out that it startles the both of em. for once in his life sunnys a little embarrassed about a burp

sunnys the type to wiggle around on purpose if he has a sloshy tummy. he amuses himself. will push his belly in & out to make it make a noise

thinking about the way his mood changes when he doesnt feel good. normally hes rowdy & loud & silly & mischievous & annoying but if his belly hurts he gets quiet & sad & he just wants 2 be held gentle & cuddled. surefire way to know if somethins up with sunny is when hes quiet. tummyache is Least Worst scenario bc then hes just all soft n cuddly until it goes away. as opposed to other situations where he might be scared or upset or moody

[tiny sunny] i think tiny sunny would be so dumb about food. hed be like "duh i can eat a grape its just a grape🙄" without considering that a grape is now the size of his entire torso & double down on it & try to keep eating until no more would fit. & he would need the Worlds Gentlest Tummy Rub but So careful bc his tummy hurts. & feels like a grape . &he will not learn from it💖 his takeaway from the experience will prob just be that someone held him gentle & rubbed his tummy for a while & therefore trying to eat an entire grape was not so bad actually

[tiny sunny] thinking.about laurie (playfully) tormenting tinysunny by putting him in various silly little jails. shed stop if he was really unhappy about it but mostly shes just Buggin Him. he cant argue bc all he does is Bug Her. hes in his little like lego enclosure yelling HEY. HEY. CAN I HAVE SOME CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! banging a paperclip against the bars loud as fuck until she gives him treats [MEAN] what if he was like soo hungrie & she put the cheece just out of reach. tryin 2 grab it. tummy growlin. gonna get himself all wedged between the bars but he doesnt care . Cheese Time🤤 tummy fulla cheese got him even more wedged in there He Doesnt Care hes just gonna fall asleep like that

[tiny sunny] i think he would let laurie cram him into barbie clothes that barely fit. certainly dont fit after dinner. hed have that velcro poppin open

#text #xsunnyx

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thedeafprophet · 4 months

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flower ask game! lily and lavender :D!

Gonna answer for Jam!

Lily - What is your OC's love language?

(i am unfortunately obligated to remind that the whole 'love language' concept was created by a bigoted pastor dedicated to 'helping christian couples' and are not founded in anything real)

me being a party pooper aside:

Words of affirmation would probably be heavily valued by them. True ones, not just fluff or manipulation, but someone geniuenly having nice things to say. Im not sure they'd know how to respond tho....

Lavender - How does your OC cope with loud noises?

Jamie doesn't struggle as badly with noise as some of the others do and is gennerallly okay with noise. However if theyre partcularly tired and dont want to deal with, Jam would probably just straight up walk out of the room and find somewhere quiet to sit lmao.

ask game from here

#ask game #oc: Jamie

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evil8keta · 2 years

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got any general headcanons for each tf2 merc? :D

miscellaneous tf2 mercs headcanons

SCOUT

- transgender asf

- uses terrible pick up lines and invites his dates to fast food restaurants and yet he's wondering why he can't pull any girls

- looks approachable but in reality you really don't wanna deal with this guy, he's a menace. doesnt matter if you're his friend or not, he'll backstab you for money (literally, of course)

- has an energy drink addiction. gets really snappy when he doesnt get his 5 cans of bonk atomic punch a day

- HATES silence, it stresses him out so he likes to put on some music whenever he can. it helps him focus and overall scout just prefers to have some sort of background noise while doing literally anything. the only problem is that he likes his music loud. like, the whole house is shaking kind of loud. the other mercenaries hate him for this, because when they tell him to quiet it down, he instead turns the volume all the way up like the little shit he is❤️ the only way to make scout turn it off is to fight him. it isnt that difficult to beat him up, but it's still annoying to go through all of this yknow

SOLDIER

- developed a hearing difficulty during his time in the war. if you're wondering if his bad hearing is the reason why he yells all the time, then no. he was always yelling like that

- keeps bringing random stray animals to the base. the others told him many times that NO, he can't just bring in wild animals whenever he wants to! medic literally fainted the last time soldier wanted to sneak a possum into the base. not gonna lie tho, it's pretty wholesome watching soldier "train" some random field rodents. they bite him and hiss at him, but soldier sees that as a sign of their resilience and love for fighting so all he does is watch them with a big smile on his face. he even praises them with stuff like "GOOD JOB RECRUITS! I AM SO PROUD!"

- has a very strict sleeping routine and always manages to get a perfect 8 hours of sleep. he doesn't even use an alarm, he just knows when to fall asleep and when to wake up and does so on command. also soldier looks very funny in his sleepwear. he wears a night gown and a big nightcap that covers his eyes

- evil autism

PYRO

- idk what mental illnesses pyro has to but oh boy there's definetely something very wrong with them

- their room is very.....interesting. on one side there's cute plushies and glow in the dark stickers. on the other side there's scorched furniture and -- oh my god are those human bones?!

- theyre like those slashers that take pictures of their victims. pyro hangs these gruesome photos of people dying on the walls of their room, but to them it's just cute selfies with their bffs 😼😼

- they sometimes bring their teammates body parts or organs of the enemies as a gift. kinda like how cats bring their owners dead animals. this is literally pyro's love language

- i have one joke headcanon about pyro and it's that they're not a human. pyro is actually just 20 frogs in a hazmat suit carrying a flamethrower

HEAVY

- literally the most reliable person on the team. he's super nice and friendly and polite and kind and very very caring......ok can you guys tell im biased towards him

- the opposite of scout. heavy looks very intimidating so it's hard to approach him at first but if you start talking to him you soon realize hes very nice to talk to :) awesome dude to just chill and eat sandwiches with

- bookworm!! his room is filled with a bunch of different books, most of them being in russian but he has some foreign ones too. i think heavy is very smart but it's just that his broken english makes him appear kinda dumb. he struggles with processing english sentences and pronunciation. that's why he speaks so simple and slow

- if you ask heavy if he is medic's wife he says yes, if you ask medic if heavy is his wife he says no. its up to you to decide who's lying

DEMOMAN

- talks in his sleep. like a LOT. dude will literally recite to u the periodic table during his 20 minute nap

- even more patriotic than soldier,which is saying a lot. has a bunch of pictures of scotland around his room and probably even wears underwear with the flag of scotland. he's literally like the embodiment of the guy yelling SCOTLAND FOREVER!!!!!

- demo feels insecure about his drinking habit. like usually he doesnt think too much about it, but sometimes he really feels ashamed of himself for being an alcoholic. his mood gets very sour on these days, so to feel better he reaches for another bottle of scrumpy to forget about his worries.....and the cycle continues

- often looses parts of his body due to working with bombs and other explosive stuff. honestly i have no idea what these guys would even do without medic

ENGINEER

- whenever it's his turn to cook for the base he's like "alright boys get ready to get blown away" and then it's just another barbecue. not gonna lie though, his food is delicious. the mercs gave him an apron saying king of the grill

- loves fishing!! and yea he unironically wears those women love me fish fear me shirts whenever he goes fishing. he genuinely thinks it's stylish

- invents random shit for fun. he spends most of his time alone in his workshop so who knows what weird things he's making. most of the time his personal little inventions are practical stuff, maybe something like an automatic beer opener or a toaster that never burns the bread. but he's definetely making something more, something bigger. idk what it is but maybe i dont even want to know

- has a really strange sense of humor. you can tell him the funniest joke ever with the most genius punchline known to mankind and hes gonna look at you with a blank expression, uttering a confused "...wha", but show him a picture of a chicken in shoes and hes gonna burst out laughing. oh engineer you would have loved 21st century humor

MEDIC

- has like 12 mental illnesses. yes he's aware of all of those. and YES he chooses to ignore his symptoms and doesn't take any medication

- he did loose his medical license, but that's because he kept experimenting on his patients. he still does that, except now he's actually allowed to do it (well, not really). but other than that he's still quiet skilled in his field and his abilities are nothing but impressive

- a total drama queen. also he's pretty germaphobic for a guy that digs his hands in someone's guts for a living

- loves his birds so much. he forgot their names, so now he calls them all archimedes. he loves taking care of them and doesnt trust any of the mercs with his birds. but heavy is an exception, heavy can feed them :)

SPY

- gets even LESS bitches than scout does. LITERAL ZERO!! he miraculously pulled scout's ma but ever since then the man had a catastrophically low amount of bitches. maybe it's because of the balaclava he never washes

- horrible, horrible man. he can be responsible and polite but only if it's beneficial for him, other than that he's pretty rude to everyone he meets. he's respectful towards women tho, but that's basic standards

- spy is the inventor of your mom jokes. it's true, he told me himself

- don't tell anyone but spy loves romantic comedies. however he thinks liking romcoms is like the most embarrassing thing ever and really doesn't want anyone to think he's sappy like that, but in reality most of his teammates know he's a hopeless romantic and they really don't care

- is the best cook on the team, but very rarely makes food for the others. he always complains about how everyone else's food is bad and how only his food is digestable, but he never cooks himself. the only way to get him into the kitchen is to do something nice for him in return. smh

SNIPER

- neurodivergent asf

- ok so you know how some introverts dont like to approach others so they just stare at the person they want to talk to until theyre noticed? well yea sniper does that. like sure he could just go and talk to someone directly but why do that when he can just. stare ominously

- bird enjoyer!! brings medic's doves little treats when the doctor isnt looking

- has a VERY quetionable diet. he's like those dudes on youtube that eat moss and bugs and talk about how nutritial it is. sniper is used to staying long periods of time outside, so he's used to any and all challenges the wildlife can offer. he may look scrawny, but he totally wrestled an alligator at some point in his life (and won)

- he's the team's exterminator. if there's a spider in the base sniper puts it in a jar and releases it outside <3

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #keta writes #headcanons

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qwerty-keysmash · 3 months

Text

tmagp episode 1 live thoughts

ohoho i cannot wait for you to be terrible in my ears again alexander j newall

NEW INTRO NEW INTRO

jesus christ that is some intense intro music

computer?? noises???

addiction to vitamin d asjdashdf

""big milk"" im crying

ok i love these two already they are hilarious

is he leaving? :(((

aww he iss :(((((

THE BANTER I LOVE THEM

lena sounds like an asshole

this is a whiplash from tma ep 1 ngl

ok so theyve got some code or something that doesnt work??

that loud fake HEYYYYYYYY sfahj

...was the cake black forest??

is gwen the bouchard??

alice is already my favourite

so how is this one being recorded? obviously its not tapes

oh i love sams accent

"you can ignore that" so thats going to be relevant later, got it

a FLOPPY DRIVE

WINDOWS 95

PREDECESSOR TO WINDOWS 95

incidents...... spooky incidents mayhaps?? 0.0

they ARE spooky!!

DOLLS COMMA WATCHING VS DOLLS COMMA HUMAN SKIN ADGHAKDHAKD

they really have just reinvented smirke's 14

ohhhhhh it'll read out the cases so now we have STATEMENTSSS

a "chatter case" sounds so much funnier than statements lol

norris, chester, and agustus asdhjasdfajsk

OHHH SHIT NORRIS IS ALEX

IS NORRIS MARTIN??

WAIT DOES THAT MEAN THE OTHERS ARE JON AND ELIAS

FHASUOFIGASUHDKJNFJAMFGNAK

ok focus on the actual statement, blue

dont go in the spooky graveyardddd noooo

ah hello violins in the background, how i have missed you

the strangerrrrrr

of course its not arthur you dumbass

who tf is sending emails this poetic

oh hello gwen

ohh so shes actually good at her job, nice

fuck lena all my homies hate lena

aww i like gwen, hope shes not evil

FUCK LENA ALL MY HOMIES HATE LENA

mmmm but can she resign

oh she wants to climb the ranks, i see

poor sam, man just wanted to make small talk

ALICE AGJKSHAD

poor colin tho

THEYRE SO AWKWARD ITS KILLING ME

aw gwen and sam bonding

"the awful terrible thing" shes straight up asking about that origin story 2 seconds in lmao

JON JON JON AHDSGJKHSKVDAJFVSUYED

MAGNUS INSTITUTE????????

oh this is like a reddit forum or something

NOOO DONT GO CHECK IT OUT

well at least hes alive???

paranoid?? 👀

ok so a fire 20 years ago burnt the magnus institute

THE ARCHIVEEEEE

spooky symbols??? suspicious stains??????? oh im so invested

yep all that digital technology do be malfuctioning

you're paranoid? have you tried stalking your coworkers, ive heard that can help

oop hes getting doxxed

MAGNUS THEME IN THE BACKGROUND?????

OH NOOOOOO HES DEAD HES SO DEAD

EYES 👀👀👀

this is just your average reddit thread tbh

BLAST FROM THE PAST?????????

ok so jon is chester and martin is norris, so elias must be agustus

lol, going drinks at 6.30am

theyre exes haha, jongeorgie who??

oh shes smart fr

awwwwww

COLIN KNOWS RED ALERT

so the computers are listeninggggg

SO GOOD GOING TO NEXT EP NOW

#blue posts #tmagp liveblog #tmagp spoilers #tmapg

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