For our secret santa gift exchange, one of my buddies got me a one time chronivac use that lasts until the end of the year. He says I can finally know what its like to be a jock like the rest of the bros in the frat house but I don't know- its not really my style. I'm still debating on what to pick and apparently if I don't pick within 24 hours it autoselects. I was wondering if I could have some help or if you think it would be fun to see what autoselect does. thanks!
Bruh, let me be honest: If the autoselect function is active, that's also just an employee playing with a customer's settings. So whether you ask me or wait, the result will be the same in case of doubt.
Let's start by changing a bit of your past: Track and field in elementary school, wrestling as a freshman in high school, but then quickly moved on to the football team. Fucking sports accident in your senior year, since then at home in the gym, you love to lift weights.
Of course, art history no longer fits as a major… I mean, you're only here thanks to your sports scholarship. So you should also study sports economics more consistently. Make your old man proud, he was first an active quarterback, then a coach and now a manager in the NFL.
I love the way your muscles swell. Your facial features are becoming more angular and masculine. But what's in your head is still preventing you from relaxing. Bruh, you haven't held a book in your hands in your life. Apart from first-person shooters, sports and partying with your Bruhs, you have no other interests. You always slide through your studies with a D+. And if things get worse, you just have to allow your professor to suck your cock. Your cock is famous on campus. When it's working, it's a masterpiece carved out of marble. Just like your body.
Bruh, what was your question again? You're unhappy with your abs. Well, after Thanksgiving and all the cookies during Advent, it looks like we all are. You don't need to ask. Don't worry, I'll take care of getting rid of that little bit of fat!
Found the preset I used with you @maxx-magnum
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instagram j.b.
summary: follow along with joe and his fiancé evie as the go through his football career.
*face claim is Yasmin Quintana*
series masterlist.
breezyevie
liked by nfl, bengals, joeyb_9, and 927,028 others
breezyevie: i’m proud of my joey, win or lose you’re my guy forever. until next season. ✌🏼
view all 7,359 comments…
user: those penalties at the end were BS!!
> breezyevie: you said it !!
user: you are cringe garbage
user: not you dyeing your hair before the biggest game of the year.
> breezyevie: maybe it was bad luck.
user: thank you for bringing such positivity to fan base
user: i love you and the bengies so much
> breezyevie: i love you!
joeyb_9: special season. thank you for being there, you rock ev. ❤️
> breezyevie: special guy. 🤍
user: i can’t believe that you’re joe b girlfriend
millyg: you’re cincy’s hero.
> breezyevie: you’re my hero.
joeyb_9
liked by nfl, bengals, and 1,739,927 others
joeyb_9: Back to work.
view all 98,626 comments…
user: keep shining joey, you’ll be back next year
user: now i can block evie till next season, i only follow for you.
breezyevie: you are the most inspiring and dedicated person i know. i’m obsessed with you.
> user: girl we know. get a life.
user: i’m calling it now they go undefeated next season
user: we will be back. WHO DEY!!!
user: this had me tearing up
> breezyevie: i’ve cried so much. just let it out.
user: does this mean that ur cringy gf won’t be posting you anymore?
> user: y’all love to hate on a girl for living her life.
breezyevie
liked by joeyb_9, millyg, and 920,736 others
breezyevie: life update for you stalkers. 🤪
view all 9,826 comments…
user: gross
user: that drink looks so good
> breezyevie: it was amazing!!
millyg: i still can believe i wasn’t invited
> breezyevie: don’t hate me. 😅
user: clout chaser
user: you’re my idol
> breezyevie: stop, my heart will explode. 🤍🤍🤍
user: imagine joe b is ur man?
> user: and she’s so average..
user: i already can’t wait to see your game day fits. is it september yet?
user: please quit posting with joe, i’m trying to forget you’re the one who has him tied down.
joeyb_9
liked by breezyevie, ufc, lahjay10_, and 612,597 others
joeyb_9: preciate all of the fighters that didn’t beat me up this weekend. @ufc
view all 817 comments…
breezyevie: it’s the bucket hat for me
> joeyb_9: just call me joe buckets
> breezyevie: gtfo. 🤣
user: coldest qb
user: stupid pic
user: didn’t know joey b was chill like that
user: why didn’t ev go to the fight?
> user: no one wants to see him with his busted gf
> user: they’re engaged now
> user: that’s even worse
lahjay10_: no ev slander around here
> breezyevie: you’re my favorite. 🤍
breezyevie
liked by joeyb_9, eviesmomma, nascar, and 659,269 others
breezyevie: is she a nascar girly now?
view all 5,272 comments…
user: i hate when ur posts come up on my page
user: a post that isn’t about joe? *gasp*
joeyb_9: you’re just the coolest person i know.
> breezyevie: it’s natural swag
user: iconic look
user: fine i’ll watch @nascar now
lahjay10_: she drive that fast car
user: is this why you weren’t at ufc with joe
user: are you going to become an influencer now
user: omg look at you!
user: i wanna be you when i grow up
> breezyevie: be better than me! be YOU!!
user: what a sellout. quit piggy backing off of your bf and get a real job
joeyb_9
liked by breezyevie, millyg, and 936,937 others
joeyb_9: Today and always… Happy Anniversary Ev, your gift is this pic on my feed.
view all 89,625 comments…
breezyevie: thanks for being you and for being mine.
> user: all of the “joe never post her” commenters, refer to the above photo.
> user: i liked it better that way
user: he deserves so much better
lahjay10_: there’s no joey b without ev! happy anniversary.
user: no way he’s got a gf!!!
> user: they have been together for like six years? like how did you miss that?
user: that should be me
user: when he didn’t post her i could pretend she didn’t exist
user: happy anniversary to my mom and dad!
bengals: Happy Anniversary to Jovie!
user: break up with her, i’m hotter.
breezyevie
liked by joeyb_9, millyg, and 973,026 others
breezyevie: some randoms of my jb. im so lucky that i fell in love with someone who became hot and famous. my life is brighter with you in it, happy anniversary baby.
view all 200 comments…
*comments on this post are limited*
user: i can’t wait for this wedding
user: ev is always clutch with the unseens
joeyb_9: hot, famous, and taken. it’s you and me baby.
user: mother has fed us today
user: it’s sad that she limited comments
> user: i never thought id see the day that comments would bother her, she’s got thick skin.
> millyg: sometimes it doesn’t matter how thick your skin is when the whole internet is shitting on you just bc they want your man.
breezyevies ig stories:
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Flowers and Wine - Instagram AU
(Bengals Quarterback! Joe Burrow x Interviewer! OC)
liked by joeyb_9 and 55,013 more users
yourinstagram: it was a fun time in Cincinnati 🥂💐
view all 420 comments
yourbestfriend: what were you in cincinnati for?
↳ yourinstagram: a work trip 😊
↳ yourbestfriend: it looks like you were on a date 👀
↳ yourinstagram: for right now, let’s just say… it was an interesting work trip!
liked by yourinstagram and 99,600 more users
SportsIllustrated: Joe Burrow and the New Normal!
The QB is dealing with newfound fame and sky-high expectations. And he’s uniquely equipped to handle both (Story Written By @.yourinstagram in the bio)
view all 50,050 comments
username1: THAT’S MY QUARTERBACK!
username2: overrated QB 🙄
username3: not a football fan, but i love @.yourinstagram’s articles!
liked by joeyb_9 and 125,009 more users
yourinstagram: my newest written article for Sports Illustrated has just been published, this was my first time writing about a football star in the NFL ✍🏻❣️
thank you to @.joeyb_9 and @.sportsillustrated for choosing me to interview you for the September 2022 Sports Illustrated Magazine Issue, it was an honor!
view all 20,013 comments
yourbestfriend: OH… so this is why you were in Ohio?!
joeyb_9: thank you for accepting the job offer from me … the Sports Illustrated Issue wouldn’t have been possible to accomplish without you ❤️
↳ yourinstagram: there’s no need to thank me, i’m just doing my job 😊
yourinstagram story updates
viewed by joeyb_9 and 99,513 more users
liked by joeyb_9 and 69,550 more users
yourinstagram: the flowers and wine were a gift ❣️
view all 1,013 comments
joeyb_9: ❤️
yourbestfriend: a gift from WHO?!
↳ yourinstagram: a cute guy i met in Cincinnati 😊
Author’s Note:
if you have a Instagram AU request, please send the IG AU request to my Inbox and i’ll try to get the requested Instagram AU published as fast as i can!
thank you for all the love and support! 🤍
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