#next to where i walk the dog

[oneprotagonistshort]

also a Dirk Gently WIP whenever just for kicks. from the ongoing Forces Unseen sequel

-

“Holy shit,” Todd said, hearing Dirk come in through the door he’d left propped open. “Did you know we can see the Washington Monument from here?”

Dirk joined him at the window and wrapped an arm around his middle from behind. He was suddenly feeling a bit clingy, like he was going to need to front load all the cuddles he could get, which was abjectly ridiculous. Todd had never shied away from that, if anything it was Dirk who’d been jumpy lately about tender little moments like this. Still, Dirk couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d be wanting more of this later but might not be able to get it. He hooked his chin over Todd’s shoulder and squinted out the window, not sure what Todd was referring to. 

“The bloke on the penny’s house?” he asked, not seeing it. “I don’t think he lives in DC anymore, Todd.”

“What?” Todd asked, pulling back a little to look at him before pointing at a large lit-up obelisk surrounded by illuminated American flags. “No, that. I’ve only ever seen it in movies, National Treasure didn’t prepare me for the real thing.”

“Ohhh,” Dirk said, comprehension dawning as he held Todd close to his front. “You mean the giant pencil statue.”

“The giant—Dirk, that’s the Washington Monument. As in George Washington? It doesn’t even look like a pencil.”

“Doesn’t look much like George Washington either,” Dirk mused, and whatever retort Todd had been about to fire back was interrupted by the sharp trill of Dirk’s phone. 

#dghda fic #dghda #dirk gently's holistic detective agency #if anyone wants to come be the hype squad for this fic I would appreciate it lol #it's been sitting at 25% complete for like six months #I got the initial idea in December 2021 and started writing it in earnest in May 2022 #I still have 2.5 parts and an epilogue to go #this is why I don't post WIPs btw lmao #it has never taken me this long to write something I care about so much #it's a proposal fic and I LITERALLY GOT ENGAGED in the time it's taking to write #we're thinking of setting the date for fall 2025 and so help me god I will finish this fic before then #I set this fic in DC because I'd just moved here and wanted to use it as an excuse to explore and do cool shit like write on-location #and I'm literally leaving DC next month #I can see the giant pencil statue from where I walk my dog BUT NOT FOR LONG #get it together Briana

[bog--unicorn]

life of a bog dog

I’m really starting to love December

#my pics #dog #dogblr #22 weeks #she’s really such a happy friendly little guy #and in the last couple weeks has just hit that point where dumb puppy brain switches to big kid brain #she still struggles with overstimulation hyperactivity #but she tries very hard to refocus on toys like I’ve been teaching her #she is very mouthy like most acd’s but she has been EXCELLENT at learning ‘gentle’ #now that she has at least a bit of an attention span I’m taking her out walking pretty far #both on leash and off #we live on a farm surrounded by other farms so there’s lots of space to roam #next I need to start reinforcing cues by drilling outdoors / in strange locations #need to work on stay #and then I can really get into teaching her how to herd sheep #she LOVES being around them #and honestly there’s nothing that makes me happier than being out grazing the sheep w a dog #really just having so much fun with my little bud

[fjordfolk]

dogbook post: here's my horrific story about having to put down my 7mo sheltie due to severe hip dysplasia & then getting a new one from untested parents and the same breeder after they said it was freakishly unusual to see hip issues in the breed, and now my new dog has HD E also

comments: how dare you mention the pedigree names of your dogs. this is harassment.

#is2g #im at the point now where im too invested and JUST want people to do better #if i was less interested in this breed. if i loved it a little less. some of the things I've seen #would have made me walk away #the loyalty some people have to each other rather than the dogs is one of those things #euthanasia #she posted the 7mo xray and whats worse: the breeder used the dam again the next year #so she wouldve known that the puppy was pts (it was also registered) and chose to breed again #rather than at least pushing back for 6months and investigating. or screening her own bitch #:))

[thepavementsings]

#sorry in advance to baking-soda for butchering her wonderful verse #i was listening to this on a walk with my dog thinking about TURNED INTO A GIRL ALEX #it happens at the end of the 2020 season. #He calls george. trying to joke about it #'Its barely the worst thing thats happened to me this month. adding it to the tally eh george?' #but george can hear the fear and hesitation nestled behind the exasperated laugh he lets out #So george offers. He can talk to Lewis for Alex. If he wants. He's helped - well he knows about this stuff- george has heard. #alex's shaky smile on the other screen as he breathes out a thanks is enough for George to push through the trepidation as he makes the call #Of course Lewis tells him everything #but george cant hear 'emotionally meaningful' and 'sex' and 'alex' in the same sentence without feeling like his chest is being hollowed out #so he lies. says Lewis told him it has to do with life stressors. tries to ignore how his skin crawls when he suggests it to Alex #that he should see if Max is in Monaco. Swallows thickly around the sound of 'you know because of your seat' #Alex laughs unkindly. 'right. because of the seat. guess i'll try him before i leave.' #before he packs his bags and his dreams and moves back home to england. back to me. george thinks #he doesnt see alex over the winter. pretends it's because he's busy with family and training and a mercedes seat he's vying for. #it isnt until he's walking past the red bull hospitality in Spain the next spring when he sees it #Alex. standing in the doorway just tucked out of the way. arm stretched over his head to holding the frame. #he looks the same. save for the way his red bull shirt hugs his chest tighter. the puffiness of his cheeks more present #he catches george's eye from where he's been standing. nods him to the space between the buildings #his shoulders are drawn up. hands in his pockets when he shoves lightly into george's side #george's mouth feels dry with the words 'you didn't.. it didn't work?' #theres an anger that flashes behind alex's eyes before it's quickly replaced with a familiar bemusement #'no. guess you cant fuck the girl out of red bull but cant fuck the red bull out of the girl.' but theres no heat behind it #'hey. it could be worse. at least i dont have to be out there doing media with the rest of you idiots' #george barely makes it back to his motorhome before he heaves up whats left of his breakfast #there's more but only so much fits in the tags. sorry again. #george/alex

[clamorybus]

yeah humans have kinda always been morbid dicks about tragedies. like you look up any old timey murder case and 9 times out of ten there will be a crowd of lookey-lous wandering onto the crime scene and just taking shit

#like the murder of the lawson family; neighbors stole raisins off the christmas cake for keepsakes #while they wandered through the crime scene where 7 people (5 of them small children!) where murdered #or when the bodies of her beaus were discovered on belle gunness's farm #while the police exhumed more bodies there were straight up vendors setting up right next to them #a guy was selling lemonade and ice cream and cake. there was a popcorn vendor. someone was selling commemorative postcards #someone even managed to sell a dog corpse to a young woman by telling her that belle gunness practiced poisons on it! #and when the police finally had enough and told everyone to leave #the crowd freaked out and surged towards the house #they tried prying open the windows or tear off the siding of the house to get inside #it was fucking madness #also during the jack the ripper case one of the suspects was cleared because his alibi was that he was watching a house burn down #with another crowd of people #now that i think about it im pretty sure the same thing happened with the jonbenet ramsey case #where neighbors just walked in and poked around and took stuff #there's dozens of more examples honestly #and there is a lot to be said about how a lot of true crime cases are covered or how true crime fans respond to things #but tldr: this is not a new problem unfortunately. people have always been disrespectful and morbid

[prettyvacanttt]

Ok so there is this pitbull named Happy, I know that now because I've had to go get his chip checked four times already, I've never seen him around the neighborhood on my walks or in anybody's yard or anything. Yet once a week for the past month this child just...shows up at my house. So like usually I just hang out w him fr like three hours until best friends opens and I go get coffee w the dog and maybe go for a walk and then I have to drop him off at dog jail until the owner can come get him. Next time it happens...happy is actually my dog

#im so fucking in love w him #hes just a smal lil piitty boy who hows like the fucking chewbaca dude literally the funniest thing in the world #hes so in love w al and my cats and ofmy chow pit mix wasn't such a demon i already would have stolen him lol #HOW AND WHY DOES HE KEEP GETTING OUT SO MUCH? WHERE DOES HE LIVE?? WHY DOES HE ALWAYS CME BACK TO MY HOUSE??? #its because he loves me and we're meant to be and he would never get out on my watch and he loves my backyard and hes perfect #if that dog gets hit because his fucking dimwit of an owner cant keep track of him i will hunt him down and kill that man #i even got his contact info from the vet because he shows up at my house so much and today the owner isn't even in town!!!!; #apparently the fucking sitter let him out and jus went to work??? so how does the owner and the sitter keep losing this damn dog and then #just leaving him loose all day???? yeah just drop him off the sitter will get him after work >:(((! #die #so we got coffee and went on a walk and hung out at the barbershop and i just had to take him to best friends FOR THE FOURTH TIME !!!!!! #next time i see u happy u r mine forever omg hes to precious

[hugepolecat3298]

the polar opposite of the dog from the thing who did not really act like a dog at all (due to being a wolfdog) (potentially) are the st. bernards from cujo that didnt understand that they were supposed to be evil and rabid and just licked the rabies foam off their mouths and wagged their tails all the time and refused to lunge or bite at the human actors

#originals #it reminds me of one time (not one time this was a job) when my mom was small (not small she was like? 17? maybe) #ok i googled it and she would have been 22 actually i thought she was a teenager #anyway #she babysat like late nights for this family that lived in moderately-bumfuck nowhere and they had a st. bernard and a Huge amt of land #so the dog was let outside to freely roam a lot and one night shortly after cujo had come out it stayed outside for several hours #and it had stayed out until it got fully dark and then eventually it just quietly walked up to the glass door in back and stood there #and then when she finally walked by and noticed it it went WOOUU really loud to ask to get in and apparently only its eyes were visible #she said she almost had a heart attack but she let it in anyway and it immediately tried to butt her hands for pets so it was all good #i was told this story when i was 12 and had checked out the book from the school library because there was a dog in it #and i got to the part where some character idr which started puking up blood in a bathroom and i was like ew yuckee!!!! and put it back in #my bag and the next morning when my mom was checking my stuff she was like why the fuck were you reading cujo #and i wasjust like i thought it was about a dog :( like it didnt register for a split second in my mind that if rabies is involved then it #probably does not end well for the dog

[tardis--dreams]

Ok i had a social interaction today i was dreading (because of the social aspect not because of the person) but it actually was really nice and I'm glad I said yes

#anyway #i also walked more than in the past week in total #as soon as i don't have my dogs i don't have an incentive to leave my house #i live right next to the campus so i get like 20 minutes max on days where i have class #(good old days when i was still living in the city center and automatically had 30 minutes of walking time #to get to uni ) #and ever since corona im still struggling with exercising so this was a very nice day #even had a boost of energy and Actually worked out when i came home #shut up amy

[wordsforrain]

A random, grizzled old dog decided I was one of his people and he was going to accompany me on my walk.

He kept stopping to wait for me.

And to sniff some good sniffs.

And to splash around.

Until he decided I was walking too slow, and abandoned me to my fate while he took off into the woods.

Goodbye, lumpy dog.

#He was totally fine. His collar had a local phone number on it and he one where he was going. The next day he showed up again looking for #the neighbor’s dog to play with #I just found it funny that he adopted me for that chunk of my walk until he got frustrated that I kept stopping to take pictures #and was like you are a slowpoke goodbye

[no-one-told-you-life-was-gay]

Hamster: I'm curious how you'd handle big city

Me, in a city for more than three hours: I would like to go sit in the woods now

#i dont handle the ciry #where are my trees #and dirt #i have only seen one dog #i have to go back this weekend aftwr finals #MIND YOU MIND YOU i live next to not ONE but TWO PARKS/wood areas #but also everyone honks all the time and people are walking down the middle of the road #experiment successfully #con? not good for city

[mxbitters]

if i must continue to be limited to working what appears to exclusively be country concerts could i at least work a carrie underwood show

#like i dont wanna know what luke bryan's kinda night is i wanna (metaphorically) key his (theoretical) car #like not to glorify a country artist but that music video where shes going around the hospital in the football jersey #probably did something to me as a kid. i may have had this odd fascination with her like i did rachael ray lmao #to be fair though i think i also was like that bc i thought itd get extra approval from my mom or something #whatever. got not one but two of these next month if nothing comes up so like #these tailgaters better BEHAVE #really though um. this job makes me more confident about looking into that dog walking thing #dogs cant be harder than drunk people when a song about drinking turns on right?

[adreamfromnevermore]

Love the slight AUs where Bruce as Batman has been a member of the league for ages, but he's somehow managed to keep his assortment of children under the radar.

Because it sets up the wildest misunderstandings within the league. He routinely talks about his babies, his children who are all so sweet and kind and occasionally assholes yes but only because they are young (and traumatized) hell I don't think the league would even be aware that they're adopted. So they're all thinking literal children

Barry: Bats really loves his kids.

Hal: I mean they're babies, wait till they hit the angsty teens and I'm sure we'll be hearing the opposite

Which means the day they finally meet Nightwing they don't know wtf to think. For one thing, how old would he have been when he had this kid???? Should they be worried about that???? And for the other, that is not a baby, that is not a precious little thing.

He could break someone in half. Like a twig.

He won't, but he could. And they can see that. (He's bat trained, they have seen what the bat can do they are not fools)

And they're like, okay. Okay maybe he isn't the baby (he is). He's got younger kids right? He's never said how many, they have 0 clues. They've been expecting 1 child, maybe 2 because he'd said kid in the plural exactly once when comforting an older woman while they were searching for her children in the aftermath of a rough battle.

And then a week later they run into Red Hood. In his leather, with his guns. And he drapes himself across Batmans back with all the self confidence in the world and starts whining about the "Brat" breaking into his safe house.

To steal his dog.

And yet again. He is not baby. He is bigger than Batman. He could probably break Batman in half given the bat didn't put up a fight. But Batman looks at him with probably the softest expression they've ever seen on that mans face and tells him very earnestly that the kid just wants to spend time with his older brother, next time they should try a walk. Maybe go to the zoo.

But probably not one of the babies. They're kind, and gentle, and at least one just loves reading and Bats has been trying to encourage that!!!

And then a day later he mentions his "babies" going for a walk in the park and they all instantaneously lose their minds at the confirmation.

#batman #dc #bruce wayne #batfamily #batfam headcanons #batfam #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #robin #spoiler #red robin #justice league

[nyan-bynary]

hey, i’m here for you, okay? i love you neo, my condolences. sending you all my love 💙

thank you so much hun it means the world, I did take a bit of time and I'm doing better now but I am gonna miss her so. much.

#ily for checking on me eev you deserve the world <3 #eev tag #we buried her in the park she really liked sniffing around (not a big fan of walks HUGE fan of sniff) right next to a flower shop #it's a part where a lot of people and their dogs walk so I'm kinda happy she has company even when we're not there #she really hated being alone I hope she has fun exploring whenever she checks on her old body #thank you so much again for checking in it means a lot to me

[alexaloraetheris]

In the spirit of Halloween, due to my own experiences as of an hour ago, I have come up with a new horror video game.

Because of the low atmospheric pressure, two things have happened: my blood pressure levels are somewhere in the vicinity of my ass, and there is. Fog. Fucking. Everywhere. The kind of weather only Jack the Ripper could enjoy.

No sane person would go outside. Except the people who still have to walk their dogs.

(This was when the fog was actually still traversable and I theoretically still knew where I was. The moment you hit a less lit area, you're toast)

So the game would be first person POV, and you get lost in your own fucking neighborhood. Your only guide is your scaredy-cat of an idiot dog, and you know you can't let go of the leash for even a second because you're not going to see the damn dog ever again. Which is also bad because the dog is the only creature around who knows how to get home.

So you're feeling sleepy and headachy and yet somehow have the anxiety levels of someone being hunted for sport, your dog who is the only one who knows how to get home keeps jumping at shadows. You wonder if that's because he can hear things you can't in the dark.

Suddenly you see the fucking grim reaper approaching on a fucking skateboard. You nearly piss yourself, only for the geim reaper to pass you by, whirling fog around him, then reveal it's actually a kid on a bike with his friend standing on the seat behind him. You're vaguely happy you didn't actually scream.

But the next monster you see? Might not be kids.

So you better hold that leash tight and hope the dog can get you home before you're both eaten.

Happy Halloween. If you need me, please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I get out of the damn fog.