#never have a brain good lord | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

squib-2006 · 28 days

Text

I have an idea

An au where Kai never shows up to the chens noodle house meeting cuz he was mad at what Lloyd said and instead ends up going deeper into ninjagos crime scene.

* Kai gets pissed at Lloyd callling him selfish and ends up getting really drunk and misses the meeting with Lloyd jay and Cole

* On his way back he accidentally falls into one of the canals and almost drowns. He manages to get out but a passer by recognizes him and saw him fall in but didn’t see him come back up

* Kai gets back to where ever he’s staying and promptly passes out for like three days

* The person that saw him fall in calls the cops and they assume Kai drowned and begin searching for his body

* Lloyd and the others at this point are already at chen’s island.

* Nya gets a call from the police about Kai and she like them assumes he drowned.

* She begins looking for Lloyd and the others to tell them that Kai’s gone then gets wrapped up in all the Chen stuff

* Kai wakes up to find that he’s on the news for being dead

* He decides to take advantage of this and decides to just go by shogun now

* He also decides to “pretend” to be female cuz he’s to recognizable no ther reason totalyyyy (yes this is a transfem Kai au cuz I do what I want)

* Meanwhile with the ninja when they catch up with Nya they learn that Kai’s dead and are very upset about it

* Chen also fails in his plans because he doesn’t have all the elements and when he try’s to use the spell the staff explodes killing him & clouce

* Skylor is arrested and put into kryptarium for working with her dad (this is very important I promise)

* Lloyd feels really bad about Kai because the last time they spoke he said really mean stuff and he wonders if Kai fell in somehow related to that.

* Meanwhile Kai begins making connections in the crime sphere in ninjago. She wears a disguise (a mask, dress large jacket and other clothing to hide her identity) and grows a reputation for herself

* She eventually starts to notice how shitty life is for lower class citizens of ninjago city and how the criminals and the upper class take advantage of that.

* She starts helping these people (mainly orphans) and creates a safe haven for them where all of them can live safely under her protection.

* She amasses a following for the people she helped + some criminals who have kinda changed their ways and they become a pretty big gang in ninjago city (I don’t have a name for this yet)

* With the ninja morro happens but garmadon takes the place of Kai in it cuz he never got banished (just imagine morro got let out by clouse on accident cuz he still attempted to banish garm but failed) and everything is basically the same up until they confront ronin

* Back with Kai a few months before Lloyd gets possessed she ran into a girl on the street named Natalie. Natalie claims to be an orphan and Kai does what she normally does when she finds a poor starving orphan on the street, she scoops her up and brings her back to her shelter (I don’t have a name for this yet either)

* Turns out Natalie is actually ronins daughter. She used to live with her parents in Styx (ronin was still doing ronin stuff so he was constantly gone all the time and she mainly lived with her mom) until one day ronin refused to pay soul archer his debt and souls archer went after his family. Nat’s mom ends up sacrificing her self to protect nat and nat runs away after. She ends up in ninjago city all alone.

* Kai after learning this decides to go and have a chat with ronin (because no one hurts her kids the people under her protection) and she runs into the ninja + garm when she goes to confront ronin (it’s when the ninja try and steal the scroll much to garms dismay because he’s still trying to be good)

* She panics but is slightly relieved when non of the ninja recognizes her (definitely helps that she’s wearing a mask and feminine clothes) ronin does tho due to his connections and questions her on why she’s here

* She doesn’t speak and just attacks him (she’s too worried the ninja will recognize her voice and she thinks that they won’t agree with what she’s doing and will be mad at her)

* So chaos ensues and Kai ends up leaving once she realizes Lloyd’s been possessed by a ghost and decides to dip to not interfere with the ninja’s mission anymore

* The season goes on as planned but the ninja now know who “shogun” is thanks to ronin. Lloyds a bit suspicious because of Kai’s red shogun name but guesses that maybe she was inspired by Kai or it’s just a coincidence.

* When Kai gets back she learns that some of her group members got arrested while trying to stop a fight between two other groups and decides to brake them out of kryptarium

* Cue skylors entrance

* Skylor manages to try and escape in the chaos of Kai’s brake in and almost escapes but is cornered by some guards

* Kai who’s crawling through the vents to get out while her group members have already escaped stops when she sees skylor getting cornered. Cue the love at first sight thing and she decides to help Skylor escape cuz she’s so pretty

* Skylor accepts Kai’s help and they escape and Kai brings her to her shelter

* Skylor has had a lot of time to reflect on her self during her imprisonment and is now glad her dad died cuz she really hated being evil

* Kai and Skylor grow closer together as Skylor joins the group and eventually Kai confesses her true identity cuz she trusts Skylor

* Skylor is confused at first because the ninja put her in prison and evreything but is ok with it because of how different Kai is

* Skylor is transfem in this au too! She she helps Kai realize that she’s not pretending to be a girl and helps her except herself

* They eventually form a romantic bond and skylor takes up a new persona to work under (I don’t have a name for it yet) to match Kai’s shogun persona

That’s all I have for now but this was all rattling around in my brain and I had to write it down

Other important stuffs

* Kai’s more morally grey in this au

* She kinda becomes similar to Jason Todd in the way she acts with her shogun persona

* She basically unofficially adopts all the orphan kids she lets stay in her shelter they all call her big sis sho

* In her group she has her close lieutenants (all ocs that I’m still thinking about names for) including skylor as her right hand woman

* She is a wanted criminal because she has broken some laws

* She doesn’t really use her powers or spinjitzu unless it’s really dire circumstances cuz it could be trailed back to her life as a ninja

* She’s kinda scared of seeing her the ninja again because she feels like she’s betrayed everything they stand for by being morally grey and doing borderline bad things

Feel free to ask me questions about this au (might help me come up with more ideas for it)

#ninjago #lego ninjago #kai ninjago #ninjago kai #ninjago au #kai jiang #kai smith #skylor chen #skylor ninjago #transfem Kai #crime lord Kai au #kai <3 #I apologize for any spelling mistakes I suck at spelling crap dispite English being my first language #Kai gets to be morally grey as a treat #I’m gunna be working on my ocs for this tho #I have never been more attracted to an au idea besides this one #most of my au’s rot in my brain or my notes app but this one was too good not to yap about

71 notes · View notes

starryalpacasstuff · 3 months

Text

Indian BL? FROM 2017????

There's an Indian BL from 2017 that I just watched. And I have incoherent thoughts

Before I continue, massive thanks to my bestie @anixknowsnothin for telling me about this show and proofreading the post for me. You don't even watch bl so I have no idea how you found this, but I'm incredibly grateful nonetheless

Here's the link to where I watched the show from, there's a glitch in the first episode subs where the subs seem to be from another show entirely, but it's only for the first ep and about 50% of the dialogue is in English anyways, so it shouldn't be hard to follow.(My ask box is also always open if there's a specific dialogue/scene in Hindi that you want the translation of)

Edit: The link seems to be region locked, so to watch it you can use a vpn and set your region to India, otherwise the episodes are available on youtube, albeit without subs

Note:- this post is going to have a few mild spoilers throughout, but I'll flag major spoilers in red

It's no secret that India is fairly behind when it comes to queer love shows if we compare it to other Asian countries. While it has a handful of great queer shows and movies, it's still quite a small quantity. Additionally, before this, I'd never watched an Indian show that felt like I was watching a bl (if you have recs, please send them my way!!). I'm not going to get into the technicalities of what feels like a bl and doesn't, because honestly, I'm not completely sure myself. For now, I'm just going based off of vibes and feelings, and this show felt like a bl through and through.

Titled 'Romil and Jugal' after its main characters, the story is a modern, desi, bl remake of the classic story...

Romeo and Juliet

Well, Bad Buddy was the first Thai bl I ever watched, so Romil and Jugal being the first Indian BL I watched just feels right, no?

I didn't actually know that the story was based off of Romeo and Juliet till the second episode, because I didn't bother looking for a synopsis, and jumped right in. However, it's links to Romeo and Juliet quickly became apparent, around the same time I started to see similarities between this show and Bad Buddy. I also did not know that this show came out in 2017 before I googled it, having already watched the entire thing, which was a pretty huge shock, because this BL is progressive by 2024 India standards.

Alright, enough of my rambling. Here's a synopsis of the show in case you haven't heard of it. (I couldn't find an official one, so I did my best to write a spoiler free synopsis)

Ramya happens to start talking to a slightly older woman at an airport, who believes that there is no romance in the younger generation. To prove her wrong, Ramya decides to tell the older woman her brother's love story. The story from the past is shown to us as Ramya narrates it to the woman in the present. Jugal is a closeted 19-year-old who lives with his parents. One day, a family moves into the house next door, and Jugal immediately falls for the son, Romil. The two of them attend the same college, and eventually become friends. The two of them eventually get together, but have to face the challenges of a homophobic society and having parents that hate each other.

I was a little skeptical of the show going in, but the show surpassed all of my expectations in the best way possible. It's no masterpiece, and it has its flaws, but it was far better than what I expected. It had both comical elements and darker themes, and it did not shy away from exploring the darker themes at all. Oh, and it has a few musical numbers. What did you expect? This is India after all.

The show is 10 episodes long, with 20 minutes per episode, and so it does unfortunately fall into some of the pitfalls that shorter shows tend to fall into, namely underdeveloped relationships and rushed endings. I did end up feeling a little bit like it didn't make sense for the pair to sacrifice and suffer as much as they did because they hadn't known each other for very long, and I felt like they should have been given more time to fall in love with each other. But it also could be argued that the show stays true to the play, and Romil and Jugal are dumb teenagers who make mistakes and stick with each other through them. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it.

One thing that I loved the show for was that it showed us that the relationship is not all sunshine and rainbows. They argue, they break up, they get back together, and they do argue even after that. But every time, they eventually work through the issue and reconcile. The show even depicts Romil dealing with internalized homophobia and struggling to reconcile with the fact that he will never be who his family wants him to be. Although I do wish they'd have had more time to explore this, I'd say it was decently depicted and handled. The show really delves into how children are forced to uphold their family's wishes and are constantly put under pressure to make them proud. Although it clearly affects both of them, it's more obvious with Romil, who is expected by his family to date and marry the daughter of his father's boss, whom they think he is dating. There's a metaphor along this theme too, where Romil pretends to like the mango shake that his mom has been making for him since he was a kid, even though he hates it, and when he tries to tell her, he has to act like it was a joke to spare her feelings. The show also goes into the communal mindset of basing your actions off "what will people think?", and you can see how a lot of the characters' actions throughout the show are haunted by this question. Some of Romil and Jugal's earlier disagreements are due to this very mindset.

The show also very candidly depicts the extreme homophobia of society in India. Romil and Jugal had to constantly hide who they were, always having to keep up a mask and I felt that reach somewhere deep inside me. When the pair come out, the show really shows how ugly homophobia can be in India. Their parents immediately disown them. They're mocked in college and wrongfully suspended for a fight that was provoked by other students. Very, very few people stand with them, and the pair very quickly realize that now that they are out, they simply cannot live in the city anymore. So with the help of Jugal's best friend and her mother, they flee to Mumbai, where they get jobs and live as paying guests with a friend of the aforementioned mother. But, even in Mumbai, the masks stay up. They have to act like cousins, for fear of being persecuted. The series depicted the worst-case scenario that so many of us live in fear of, so watching it was something of a cathartic experience for me.

Another thing that the show did quite well is showing how different people and their mindsets can be. Jugal's best friend, Ahalya, and her mom are very supportive, and they help the pair out quite a bit. Ahalya's mother provided a safe house for the pair and helped them find a fresh start. Meanwhile, Romil and Jugal's parents are incredibly homophobic. There was a scene that really stuck with me, (mild spoiler ahead, skip to the last sentence of the paragraph) where Ahalya's mother came across Jugal's mother, who prided herself on being educated and well-read, searching up how to cure homosexuality. Ahalya's mother then tells her off for calling herself educated yet believing that homosexuality is an illness. It is so important to me that the show depicted both the violent homophobia that permeates Indian society and the surprising, warm acceptance that one can find.

One final thing that I loved about this show so, so much is just how authentically Indian it feels. Asian cultures share a lot in common, but they also have their differences, so seeing a show where I can imagine encountering the characters in real life is really amazing. Rather than something big, it was little things sprinkled throughout the story that warmed my heart. The story felt like something I could hear the local aunties gossiping about. The way it depicts queerness in India hits incredibly close to home.

One thing I've learned watching Asian bls is that the ending of a show can make it or break it, but with this one, I'm stuck. The best way I can describe the ending is absolutely insane and incredibly Bollywood.

I believe this show was supposed to get a second season because the last two minutes of the show leave us with a massive cliffhanger. Now, it's been 7 years, so a second season is unlikely, so I'm simply pretending that the last two minutes of the show never happened. But the ending has so much more to it than just this (Major spoilers for the ending up ahead. I mean it when I say major, this is like going into Bad Buddy knowing that they're going to trick their parents in the end).

About halfway through the show, I remembered what play it was based upon and realized that there was a very real possibility that Romil and Jugal would die. The first half of the last episode leads up to this, telling us that they died when reconciling after an argument in the middle of the road when they were hit by a truck. We get a super emotional scene (yes, I cried) where the two families somewhat reconcile in their grief as they go to the police station to identify the bodies. Except... they're not dead, which is revealed when Romil's father hugs Romil's (not) dead body. They reveal that they planned this to show their family that they still loved their sons. I did say it was like PatPran tricking their parents in the end, didn't I? So the families reunite, Romil and Jugal get jobs in New Zealand and get married, and return to India for a wedding celebration (yes, I cried. again). The ending does feel slightly rushed, but if I'm being honest, it wasn't as terrible as it could have been. Believing that your child is dead for a bit is a somewhat justifiable reason for a sudden change of heart. There's a part where Romil and Jugal tell their parents that if they choose acceptance, they can reconcile, but if they choose to remain prejudiced, Romil and Jugal can simply get back on the stretchers, because they'll be as good as dead to their families anyways and it is *chef's kiss*.

All in all, the show was surprisingly heartfelt and poignant. It had me laughing, kicking my feet and even crying. There's a lot more about this show that I could talk about, but I'm going to stop here for now, and I'll try to write more on it later. This show really does deserve more recognition than it has, and I'm almost mad at myself for not knowing about it before. Am I being really biased when talking about this show? Absolutely. But I do think that this show is a worthwhile watch, and I'd really like to see what other people on here think of the show, especially because I'm aware that I am biased towards this show.

I'm tagging a few people who I know might be interested/have some thoughts about the show because this is a show that I really want to hear other people's opinions on and have conversations about, so I hope you guys don't mind!

@waitmyturtles @lurkingshan @bengiyo @neuroticbookworm

#good lord this post is almost 2k words #i think this is the longest post i have ever written #and there's more thoughts rattling around in my brain about this show #did i convince you to watch the show?#please say yes #i need people to talk to about this show #bl recs #indian bl #indian bl recs #romil and jugal #romil & jugal #bad buddy #i mean it's related #how does everything i write about somehow find it's way to that goddam show #but seriously romil and jugal was surprisingly very good #i did not expect it at all #but i have never been so glad to be proven wrong

50 notes · View notes

cherryflavoredbutch · 1 year

Text

"it's okay to hate kids as long as you're not mean to them" *EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER* still weird sorry!

#it's fine not to know how to talk to kids or to find it unpleasant when they're loud or what have you #but you hate them? really?#small humans with developing brains who are still learning to self-regulate #and almost always have extremely limited if any control over their circumanstances #and are completely at the mercy of their parents??#good lord hold a little grace in your heart for kids #their inability to be convenient to you is not a moral failing #genuinely hope i never find myself psychologically vulnerable and at the mercy of an 'i hate kids' motherfucker #ok to rb

89 notes · View notes

zombie-bait · 6 months

Text

Had one of those moments where you get really obsessed with a piece of media AND an artist/album simultaneously even though they're completely unrelated so now AJR's new album and Loki season 2 are just inexorably linked in my silly little brain and I'm not sure what to do about that

33 notes · View notes

b0nelessdoodles · 1 year

Photo

more unfinished cookie drawings from the year this time featuring odyssey squad and drama and also romance ‘cause i cannot be stopped

#cookie run #cookie run kingdom #espresso cookie #madeleine cookie #clotted cream cookie #financier cookie #clottcier #financeleine #clottespresso #not me out here shipping espresseleine but not having it in this oops #all four of these characters own me good lord send help #i still havent finished the odyssey story crunchy chip is made out of soggy paper towels and keeps dying #anyway i love clotted cream cookie and will never forgive the fandom for shitting on him so hard #hes such a fun character omfg #rattles the bars of my cage over him oops #also financier cookie i love you you're wonderful omfg 10 stars #anyway the last two doodles are form an au my brain came up with #that they allowed me to get my grubby little hands on #financier tries to occupy madeleines time so clotted cream can hang with espresso #cause hes got the honey nut feeleos for the coffee mage #and then she accidentally falls for madeleine despite him being him #a series of events that clotted cream did not see coming #anyway blah blah drama blah blah everyone ends up holding hands #unfinished 2022

70 notes · View notes

spaciebabie · 3 months

Note

Happy Valentine's Day💐❤

danker!! i should have drawn me making out w/spring 2 celebrate buit i am so. sleepy tired

also i would never draw that b/c im a coward

#spacie splains #and we would never make out. he has no lips #i drew self insert once of me and spring. i was blushing so hard the whole time i-#good lord #i cant do itttt.............#or its like #my brain is just like ''this would never happen....he would never like you...'' and i get sad :(#been having less of the ''this would never happen'' thought pattern b/c my friends are. insanely supportive #thanks guys i love you #anybeans #zzzz

10 notes · View notes

scribbleshrimp · 7 months

Note

hey i just wanted to thank you for escam. i know youre like done with uploading it but you were one of the only things keeping me on there for a while. which i guess im also thanking you for stopping

Glad you liked it! It makes me really really happy that it had a positive impact on a few people. I kinda cringe looking back at it, it was full of spelling mistakes and inconsistencies and really odd narrative choices (holyyy shit the fig tree motif that was supposed to be a core thing was poorly brought up and feels so out of place reading back) but it was my first attempt of actually writing character dialogue and an overarching story. TikTok is EVILL I can’t believe how shitty I felt about myself due to a few comments saying it was mediocre like yeah duh it was my first attempt writing something that wasn’t an essay for school! Of course it wasn’t perfect!!! Why is it a crime to not have professional level work for a hobby. That app is super cruel to beginners, the “art lore” stuff there that’s just bullying kids for being bad at anatomy is super malicious. But despite that scrambling to post videos during lunch in the middle of a noisy cafeteria while also prepping for a math test is memories I cherish lol. It’s kind of annoying that I think the thing I’ll be most remembered for are my characters that I developed as an edgy teenager since I’m not really planning on sharing more of my stories publicly but it makes me super thrilled that people found value in it. Okay okay sorry I’m rambling I just get excited when people willingly read my work. It makes me feel like a 5th grader discussing my warrior cat ocs during recess again. I’m glad you deleted TikTok that place rots the mind and soul.

#I’m done with Escam and that whole era of my life was one where I wasn’t really happy #but that doesn’t stop me from happpily daydreaming Mallory animatics I’ll never draw while listening to music #I have a complicated relationship with the people who live in my head #they still talk constantly and it’s super loud and annoying. I occasionally still wrote out what they are saying #or else they don’t leave my brain alone!!!#right now they are debating the ethics of art preservation. Efron has very strong opinions on it #mallory even stronger #anywayssssss thanks for leaving this lovely anon it made my night #or uhhhh my morning I guess #good lord it’s 3am and I have plans at 7am #this ask was a sign from the universe to sleep probably

10 notes · View notes

crossbackpoke-check · 6 months

Note

18 + swaymark!!

oooo thank you!!

#18 - pleaser, wallows + swaymark

okay i know they are canonically obsessed with each other but. the song is in some ways about feeling like you’re failing in your relationship and being not quite as obsessed with them as they maybe are with you, and in this video of them talking about being a tandem, there is the slightest pause before swayman answers “do you miss him?” that makes me want to probe a wound. we’re not talking irl reasons of how that’s an absurd question (how do you miss him. you’re coworkers you’re seeing each other all the time) we’re talking that maybe this whole goalies-in-love thing got blown out of proportion and now swayman’s having to buy into the bit too hard. linus loves it & everyone’s asking about their bromance & how they love each other so much and the thing is—linus is safe. he’s got a wife and plausible deniability and jeremy? jeremy is gay. sure, he can crack jokes and people-please but the more people ask the more they're going to find out until maybe they find out something jeremy doesn't want them to know. and the longer this goes on, the more jeremy has to sit at linus' dinner table with linus and his beautiful wife and pretend like he isn't a little bit in love with him. and you know what? the longer it goes on and linus doesn't dial it down jeremy does stop being in love with him, because it just feels cruel, until he finally is done enough that he stops biting his tongue and ruins the moment.

#…this so is not a five sentence summary but ALSO this manages to perfectly align with something i was obsessed with (that media video)#like yeah is that pause reasonably a buffering time to a weird question? yes!!! do i want to read into it & make swayman a bit uncomfortabl #also yes!!! sorry i decided to give them tragique but they were assigned by spotify. the other option for this song was an ED fix-it fic #about healthy sex and learning that it can be a part of a normal relationship!! sex is weird and fucked up!! but like. that’s just because #i have always interpreted this song as a) unrequited best friend love & you’re worried you’re gonna fuck it up b) virgin who doesn’t know #what sex is and is scared to tell anyone and then option c) people pleaser keeps going along with it but can’t anymore #also OBVIOUSLY they end up fine. whether that ends up being jeremy finally telling linus (oblivious) i don’t want to do this with you #i need to get over you & them creating a platonic space & sway ends up with someone else OR linus has the oh. true. i simply never #considered that i could be gay for you option OR the one i have just invented but is now my favorite because i love a good polycule is that #linus & his wife simply add jeremy to their relationship. and then this song becomes jeremy scared to have sex with linus’ wife at first lo #liv in the replies #the interviews in that video doing the lord’s work fr but also that ‘do you not miss him’ feels SO uncomfortable. say no! but then he leans #in with the dirty jokes comment & i know i’ve made like eight variations already (sorry. that’s how my brain works) but it is soooo fun #to me personally if they are broken up but now have to act nice & keep doing all these rituals & sell us on the narrative & they’re just #trying to see who’s going to crack first. needle each other into laughing or getting irritated enough it shows through & the other one wins #do even more aggressive hug rituals!! get a medical warning from the athletic training staff!!!

9 notes · View notes

gxlden-angels · 1 year

Note

how do i stop my internalized homophobia?

Ngl anon, it's less stopping it and more talking over it. If you were raised in a strict, homophobic environment, that little voice is still going to be there cause it was a part of your development. So you shout over it instead with new data

"Being gay is a sin" okay I hear you but my friends are gay and I can't really see them as sinful people

"You're broken/wrong/living in sin" okay speak your truth bestie but I'm happier living my life authentically so I'm okay being wrong for now

"You're going to Hell" cool cool but what about now? Am I happy right now? Am I living this life in a way that benefits me now? I'm focusing on this life, not a potential afterlife

I'm very STEM-oriented so my therapist and I refer to it as "Plotting new data points" You kinda just have to listen to the internalized homophobia, say okay okay I hear you but have you considered this new data point that suggest a positive correlation between being openly LGBTQ and my own happiness? Yea I know this was regarded as a sin before but statistically speaking the chances of it actually being sin are insignificant. Yea it doesn't even have a 95% confidence interval. Loving who I am seems to have a positive outcome though but I'll need more positive queer experiences to be certain

#I don't know if this makes sense #It took a long time to realize but you kinda gotta put the cart before the horse so to speak #you gotta do the thing and pretend like it isn't terrifying before it becomes less terrifying #And I don't mean you have to come out or go to pride or have gay sex #I mean like. Saying in your brain I Am Gay #and noting the fact that you didn't get smitted by Jesus or brain exploded by the Lord #You take in new data #and the old data never goes away. it would be considered altering your research then #but as you continue to get new data it starts to lose its power #it becomes less statistically significant #Until it eventually doesn't bother you like it use to #I won't pretend like my internalized homophobia is gone #internalized transphobia too despite me potentially getting top surgery soon #but each day is a new day for research #it's still there #and each experience adds another data point #good luck anon #anon tag

21 notes · View notes

keeps-ache · 19 hours

Text

mm i Neeed to go the beach

#just me hi #wauhuhh !#something about just drifting around in water that i am slightly scared of that really makes my brain whir happily lol :>#i am slightly scared of it for two major reasons: 1) fish. lord the fish why are they so scary 2) sometimes i think i'll drown and they jus #won't find the body. which is less rational than the fish so that's why fish is my number 1 fear at all times lmao #/i think out of all the animals on the planet i am the most scared of ordinary fish. not even the deep sea stuff hfbshv #cuz look they're so far down there you Have to assume they look funked. and also they prolly don't like human meat. so it's cool #but regular fish?? some of them eat birds. they eat birds dude. what would they do to me if they knew how to use harpoons??#also they for SURE eat corpses so we loop back to fear no. 2 really just being fear no. 1 hbfhs #/see i'm not even that scared of the animals my parents are determined on exploding. like man if i get eaten that was prolly bound #to happen anyway. i Know how that goes. i know what mauling is lol #i am the only person in this house who will walk around outside on a moonless light w/ no flashlight because if i was sposed to be dead i #can guaranteE there are much better opportunities. funnier ones‚ too #/just looked it up bobcats are SHY little guys. they are just shy babies. except for when they have rabies :)#shy rabies babies <3 #/anyway back to the fish. i don't like how there are some that specifically like to eat human skin. mmm no i have never liked that ever not #one little bit. makes my skin crawl hghfsh #i don't care what it does or can do that is NOT cool lil dude ;w;#/hang on i'm googling 'weirdest things fish eat' because i want to scare myself i guess hbfhvbsf :'3 #they're only showing me weird fish!!! no !! tell me about a fish that's living exclusively off of plastics!! or car tires !! come on !!!#these guys are just funky looking. and just Kinda funky looking. though this humphead guy is funny lol :)#he looks scary but with a charm that i can't deny #his forehead. and mouf. this guy is awesome #and of course he's endangered because the world is exploding. but it's so cool he exists :D #//anyway fish are scary. and miss humphead is Huge so goofiness aside he's also scary hhfbvs #also why do some of those motherfunkers swim close to shore and bite at you. those guys suck so bad #that's only happened to me so many times but enough for me to have a fear that has lasted for over half a decade lmao #//and anywho i'm running out of tag space lol :)#we're going ot the park!! i'm going to skate :DD !!#i wanna get good at my old stuff again hfsh - so bye! bye !! toodles !!!

3 notes · View notes

ghostxraven · 8 months

Text

WHO was the first person to come up with the idea of wlw funpoison outside of the concepts of genderbending and mcr. i need to shake their hand and maybe kiss them on the mouth

#pi's personal #literally never heard of anything more galaxy brained #my funpoison are bi4bi nb4nb gay people and i love them that way genuinely #but when i realized that because we can do whatever we want people definitely have done it #(aka i saw people mentioning it on one of my brief forays onto twitter)#good LORD. HALLELUJAH #AUGH. just thought. trans girl ghoul + nb wlw party.#shaking and sweating. how was the thinking about gay people did everyone have fun at the thinking about gay people

7 notes · View notes

isabelguerra · 2 months

Text

i dont know how the board artist of this scene in sing 2 looked into my brain and visualized everything i wanted to see from paranatural chapter 9, but they did. they did it. and they did it in the way that made me feel weirdest because they did it with a gorilla who has gang history and wears a leather jacket. named johnny. this is the coolest most nervewracking scene ive watched in ages. oh my god

#the metronome. the thudding. good lord #do i put this in the tag. yeah i need to do it before chapter 9 airs so i can either brag or be humbled #paranatural #okay ill say it. it *is* really funny that i like the gorilla in a leather #jacket. in a gang. like if i had a nickel id have two nickels but its still strange it happened twice etc #thats not my point here though. i had a whole slew of tags written up and then the app video crashed. agony #when i say ‘i want him to feel fear’ its like they looked into my brain and plucked it out.#objectively i will never denounce the material i find inspiration in. but i feel really thrown off kilter having it come from sing 2 #bewildered. even. like im GLAD? BUT I? WHAT? HUH? LIKE WHAT?#i NEED to find the board artist for this sequence. WHAT is in their portfolio. theyve done a WILD job of knocking me on my ass.#DANCE OF THE KNIGHTS??????? YOURE A GENIUS. I NEED TO TALK WITH YOU

4 notes · View notes

biromanticbookbabe · 1 year

Text

Wow. Sometimes I'm very lucky and my bipolar doesn't always affect me much. But no such luck lately. I'm worried that I might have to retake my modern lit course because I was so late with many of my assignments. I've been mentally messed up more or less with a mixed mood episode since last September. I'm currently on the line of passing and not passing the class (granted there are a few ungraded assignments, including my final so it's still possible that I'm overreacting). I'm usually a good student too so it's a point of pride for me. I went from the honor roll to this all due to me fighting with an illness... :/ (It is my fault for not managing things better so I'm not looking for pity here- just talking).

I cannot imagine how horrible this disorder is for people who didn't have the option of medication (I am medicated, believe it or not). I think about that about that a lot since I study history and look into many writer's and artist's biographies in my spare time. I feel very bad for them since they basically had to live with this disorder without the fixes I have simply because I was born late enough for treatments to exist.

Virginia Woolf and Sylvia Plath both haunt me. Other people too. Yes, Lord Byron was extremely shocking but consider- we don't actually know what he would have been like if he could have been treated. He wouldn't have died at 36, I'm almost certain of that. I am highly aware of what this disorder has done to people before me. It doesn't make it better. But I keep looking back any way, to see that many of them did incredible things, in spite of it all.

I just keep thinking that if they could do so much without any treatment- that I should be able to function with treatment??? I know: don't compare yourself to other people but I'm desperate to know that I can be successful even with this illness. That it's not going to force me to leave school (the one thing I have been historically good at) and waste my life toiling away for nothing.

So if it seems as if I have been hitting my head against something lately, you aren't wrong. The fall is not generally my friend, pretty as the leaves are. I have not been having a good time of it but we must go on any way because what other option is there? None, I tell you.

#leaves pretty brain shitty has been my fall for the last few years since 2018 at least...#consistently fall has been bad for my cycle though I like that time of year normally #granted a lot of things kept happening every fall since 2018 too #bipolar disorder #actually bipolar #I probably am a closet perfectionist in some cases #I am exhausted thanks for asking!#and yes for a few semesters I was an honor roll student in my grad school- not any more though LOL #seriously I'm going into debt for this degree and uh that promise to waive our debt never came to light so I'm very fucked rn #I have to finish this degree so I can work off my debt and build a good reputation for myself #I'm honestly afraid my illness might take away my ability to have a career at all; I'm desperate for a living wage!#it's not good #but this could be anxiety talking tbh #for real I'm amazed that like Virginia Woolf and others were able to do as much as they did in their lives #because without my medication I'd probably be useless??? Mania is not fun 10/10 would NOT suggest #I actually pity Lord Byron after reading his biography; he just seems like if mania was a person and um it explains his behavior completely #do you ever look back at other peoples' lives and see pieces of yourself in them and then feel really bad for them? cuz I do all the time #mychatter #I'm stubborn in that I refuse to quit school since I am aware that my family needs to know I can do this #please don't take this personally this is my problem and a pointless rant probably

22 notes · View notes