#never been good at that and I esp struggle because I don't know what to say to said people because usually they don't want you to be Neutral

[royalberryriku]

// personal, uuuh kind of a vent but idk? Maybe more of just a general ask to the void of whoever happens to read it; How Does Friendship-ing Work? And the whole Is This Normal Or Just A Me Thing with this social thing that could be normal or may be not normal.

I know it's relatively normal for people to just grow apart or for friendships to break away based on one drama or another, but I've noticed recently that it's just... Really common for people I've met to eventually have some issue either someone else and for groups I'm in to break apart really easily, even like regardless of me being there or not I mean. It's happened quite a lot and I wonder if it's just me, "people these days" as in just how friends are in modern society with internet and all the expectations from it, or if it's actually normal?

Does anyone else have experience with that? As in, a reoccurring thing where people in friend groups you are in have some sort of drama between a few people which leads to everyone never talking again or falling out regardless of whether or not you're involved or even knew of said drama?

For example, I had this group of friends I talked to a lot online (we were a part of a larger group) and we ended up becoming really close but eventually people in that group had their own issues with each other and everyone stopped socialising because things got awkward for those who weren't involved. Like, this exact this I've found is weirdly common for me, a lot of friend groups I've been in have had this happen to some degree and idk how to approach it? It probably doesn't help that I'm really bad at social stuff and knowing when I'm oversharing or being too quiet or saying stuff that's socially inappropriate (like saying or asking stuff that is insensitive but you don't realise until after you've said it that it was pushy or too much), or understanding when people want you to shut up or when they want you to step in or anything in between. Basically, I'm just lost on all this and still trying to understand if this is A Normal Social Thing That Happens to Groups of People A Bunch, or if it's a unique issue or... Idk.

Basically! I don't really know how to address this happening yet again or who in said friend group I should even speak to if at all? Like do you just leave it and wait for people to short out their own stuff, or would that be considered you being a bad and neglectful friend?? Would involving yourself make you nosy? Or would it be seen as you being caring? Would backing off being the better option? Would talking to certain people make others thing you're betraying them and picking sides??? I literally can never tell what thing is the Right Social Thing™ to do so I just kinda either sit there and wait, trying not to make anything worse, or ask around and see if at least showing that I genuinely mean well and care helps at all (sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't and makes stuff worse, but so does the former sometimes). Also. I do have this thing where I speak without thinking and make things worse before I get to that part which probably makes this even harder because people probably are already feeling horrible from whatever stuff happened between them and when you know nothing at all, you don't know how tf to act. Or what to say or do or anything at all really.

For now, I'm gonna keep writing my stories, reading my books and doing my best but damn. Is there some sort of?? idk?? A way to avoid this stuff or is it normal or what?? Again, idk.

#personal #vent #or well #vent kinda?? #how do y'all do friendships bc I'm so damn lost on how to read Social Cues or how to act “”“appropriately”“” so maybe all I CAN do is just.. #give people space and say “I'm here for you” and hope that's enough #“Gee I don't know what happened or if someone did something legit really hurtful or mean or if You were the one who did so but good luck?” #or “damn sounds like a lot of misunderstandings I hope you all find a way to patch things up??” #as if any of that is right or ok to say or helpful or like idk #I don't know anything and I can't help so I can only try to not come to any assumptions on anything #like if something Bad Happened or just a friendly mistake or a bit of both or neither Idek and I love everyone in these groups each time #so idk how to approach the idea that someone I love hates someone else I love #never been good at that and I esp struggle because I don't know what to say to said people because usually they don't want you to be Neutral #but what else CAN you do but just not decide based on the fact you have no clue what's going on or who's right or who's telling the truth #You can only really just be compassionate while giving them space as they're hurting #and then not know what to do as people stop talking altogether #which is kinda sad and lonely but what else do ppl do in these situations like how can you be helpful without ending up being pushy or nosey #or just...make people feel like shit without meaning to #god relationships are Hard

[ofbreathandflame]

Why you care so much about what feyre and her stans are doing🤔

you know, im actually very glad you sent this in anon, though i know it wasn't sent in good faith. when i say feyre 'stans' - i am being 100% sarcastic. my argument is that i don't believe the people who peddle the idea that they hold feyre to be first actually believe that ideal. i also believe they end up purposely derailing actual conversations about abuse, feminism, and racism bc they don't want to actual critique rhys, so they end up selling much more intentional bs to avoid the conversations all together,

as to why that matters - i can explain.

(1) i think a lot of people who work under the idea that they like feyre 'first' believe that a female perspective = feminist. in theory, i believe a lot of rhys stans subconsciously (or consciously) understand that his actions are villainous (to some capacity). like they do understand that there's only so far they can actually support sexual assault. i think a lot of people use feyre to circumvent this issue: if feyre agrees or even likes the abuse, then it cancels out the implication of the it. and this partially because the book flocks to do the same thing - it never introspects about what x character's actions say about them as a character. think about it - even if we work with the idea that rhys doesn't enjoy the abuse he put feyre through, going as far as to reiterate that he feels shame -- we have to question why the story responds to that with plainly stating that feyre actually enjoyed the abuse and/or felt genuine attraction rhys in those moments. because then it (a) removes the idea of moral-greyness; rhysand never has to reflect because the story always believes he secretly justified. (b) there should still be a conversation about what that means. the mating bond operates as both a justification and a rebuke of feysand's actions (c) it puts into question what the story is actually arguing about feyre's trauma from utm. if feyre always secretly wanted rhysand utm...so much to unpack there. we're not genuinely rebuking abuse. and that's fine if you're drawing a scene or simply entertainment - it becomes worrisome when we considered that there is a lesson being put forth.

(2) people who use feyre as the scapegoat to often time sidestep conversations. feyre's narration is only considered when it validates rhysand's abuse - other times, the idea that we should consider canon wholly (analyze the information we're given v. what we're told) becomes nonexistent. so even though feyre has reiterated her boundaries to rhysand (and even though rhys is already aware of those boundaries via his mental snooping), there still this need to 'hear things from rhys side' - even though we know what feyre choice would have been. we know that feyre would have never wanted that information kept from her. its literally been her only consistent trait- don't lie. and as i said in this post: even the act of creating the intervention undermines three books of feyre's narration cementing her boundary.

(3) 'feyre stans' often hijack the conversations; the conversation about racism (and rhys's absue) always stalls because -- AGAIN -- there's only so much analysis they can happen before you realize the problem is both sjm's ideology and her obsession w/ rhys. at some point they always end up defending sjm (and her racism and misogyny). there's a struggle between actual unpacking rhysand's action and what that means for him as a character. they do want to have the serious conversations, just not in a way that detrimental or all-encompassing. selective reading, plain and simple.

i also believe thats why there so much overblown hate for tamlin (that in my opinion, backfired terribly esp over the last three years) is merely insecurity about the problems w/ rhys's charcater. morally, there only so many conversation we can have before the weirdness rears it head. we can't argue tamlin is abusive and then in the same breadth argue for the neccessity of the same form of abuse. we can't argue that rhys is morally-grey and then ignore the greyness area. we also cannot say rhys grows as a character if we argue that he never grows from the person we met utm. we can't say that we 'recognize' he was wrong, but then constantly uplift those very moments as moments of love. we can't say sjm has racial/moral in her story and then remove how that effects more favorable characters.

#anti sjm #anti rhysand #anti feyre #anti feysand #anti acosf #(4) they're also always either in the anti tags or in my anons soo....

[absolutebl]

hi there 🖐🏼 what are your recs for bl movies with great acting?

BL Movies with GREAT Acting

Specifically Movies? Do KBLs that were cut into movies count? Hum, I'm gonna make a judgement call given how few actual movies I have to work with and say if it holds as a "movie going experience" I can count it. I should say in order to really push this into the superlative acting space the BL aspect on many of these is... light.

His

Japan 2020 Viki

His is about being a grown adult and still struggling with coming out as gay. It addresses the consequences of life choices disingenuous to identity. Nagisa turns up on Shun’s doorstep with his precocious daughter in tow. This is a touch confusing to Shun since they were each others first love and ended badly. Shun has retreated from society, rejecting the world before it can reject him, already brokenhearted because without Nagisa he never had a reason to fight. Nagisa went the opposite way, tried to pretend to be something he was not and ended up with a daughter he adores and a wife who hates him. The acting is killer, Miyazawa Hio is sulky in the best possible way, the filming is beautiful and the setting unique and interesting...

I'm not wild about the ending. Moody arthouse smackdoodle is going to pretend that "ambiguous" is somehow unique and special rather than bog standard commonplace for narratives of this type. But endings are my hangup, not yours?

This is not really BL (the prequel was), so few of the tropes are used. You do not need to have watched the prequel.

Your Name Engraved Herein

Taiwan 2020 Netflix

This movie is fantastic but it is also seriously depressing. It’s a self acceptance journey that goes emotionally array on the alter of history, but if you wanna wallow in high quality acting and serious gay drama, this’ll do it. I would say it's not really BL, no real trope drops at all.

Okay those two I chose more on the strength of the acting than BL. These others are not going to be at the same standard/style.

If you want moee of the above level of drama, things get very sad in the BL world, so Love of Siam, Dew, Eternal Yesterday, Goodbye Mother, etc...

Restart After Come Back Home (Risutato wa tadaima no ato de)

Japan 2020 Gaga?

Atmospheric study in rural Japan meets complex family dynamics built on a romance framework of city boy meets country boy, grumpy/sunshine. It’s beautiful and icy sweet. Slow moving in places but ultimately worth the patience, low heat, low angst, and stunning. The acting is a touch stiff, in that Japanese reserved way.

This is the only BL movie, as a movie, that I could pull. There are others, I jsut don't think the acting is good enough.

So here are some highly rated short bingable series that are movie length (1.5-2.5 hours) but not really movies - BUT with killer acting. So they still might satisfy the itch. I places them in order of acting and filming quality, not my own personal preference.

From Japan

Old Fashion Cupcake

Tokyo in April is...

Life: Love on the Line (director's cut)

My Beautiful Man

I Cannot Reach You

Seven Days

From Taiwan

Red Balloon

We Best Love (esp part 2)

About Youth

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line

From Korea

To My Star

Long Time No See

The New Employee

Where Your Eyes Linger

More like this?

I want to shout out The Eighth Sense here too. It's longer than movie length but so well acted.

(source)

#asked and answered #BLs with great acting #movie bls #best bls #best of list #His the movie #Your Name Engraved Herein #Restart After Come Back Home #Old Fashion Cupcake

[archangeldyke-all]

This is a little self indulgent so feel free to ignore! But I have been dealing with pretty severe hair loss due to a chronic illness and have been feeling really sad and unloveable and embarrassed about it lately, esp because I used to have really thick and luscious hair. I think it would be so healing to read something about Sevika comforting and loving a reader who is dealing with hair loss hahahaha or you could even just generally do something about a reader struggling with body changes due to chronic illness??? Whatever you want! Thank you so much love you <3

this whole blog is self-indulgent central babe!! also, i love you too, i'm so sorry you're going through this, chronic illness sucks so much fucking ass, i hope this can make you feel just a bit better <333

men and minors dni

she catches you in the bathroom, staring sadly down at the sink.

"babe?" she asks.

"i lost more hair." you say, sad and quiet. you lift up the clump of hair in the sink that came out when you tried to brush this morning for her to see.

sevika's heart breaks.

not because of your hair. she doesn't really give a shit about it. sure, you've got great hair, but sevika'd still love you if you were bald, or if you grew needles out of your scalp instead of your soft strands. no, her heart breaks because she knows how much you care about it, and how sad you get each time your chronic illness takes more of it from you.

"fuck, baby." she mumbles, racing to wrap you up in a hug. you slump against her, silently crying into her chest. "i'm sorry, honey." she whispers against your scalp, pressing kisses to your head.

"i just-- i feel so fuckin' ugly." you mumble.

sevika gasps, and steps away from you, both of her strong hands on your shoulders. she almost shakes you as she speaks, a glare in her eyes. "don't fucking say that." she says. you blink up at her, surprised by her tone. "fuck, baby, you're the most beautiful woman i've ever met, are you fucking kidding me?" she asks. "it-- you have great hair but-- that's not what makes you hot, you know?" she asks. you blink.

"what?" you ask. sevika groans, and this time, she does shake your shoulders as she speaks.

"look at you!" she cries. "baby-- you've still got your body. your gorgeous skin, your pretty smile, those eyes, fuck i get lost in your eyes all the fucking time. you're funny and smart and so fucking kind and i can never stop staring at your ass-- shit, honey, you're so good looking it drives me insane." she insists. a smile ticks up at the corner of your mouth, but quickly fades away.

"i might go bald someday." you say sadly. sevika groans.

"so you'll be bald! i'll love my little baldheaded baby. give your head kisses all the fuckin time, buy you hats to keep you warm, get you wigs-- think of all the fuckin' colors and styles and lengths you can have, whenever you want!" you chuckle at her outburst, tears still streaming down your cheeks, but your frown doesn't return.

"thanks, sev." you say. she swoops in to press a firm kiss to your lips.

she does research on hair loss for you.

she comes home with different potions and oils for hair growth at least once a week.

once a week, she'll help you coat your hair in masks, to condition and soften and promote growth. and then an hour later, she'll wash it out for you, taking her time to wash it all out, then gently comb your hair and blow dry it for you.

she learns how to do styles meant for thin hair, and then she insists she does your hair for you every morning.

her instagram feed is entirely thin hair styling videos now.

she gives you a new style every. single. day. sometimes, she'll even do her own hair in the same style, so the two of you can match.

as you lose more, she starts pressing kisses to the little spots of your scalp, sure to make it clear just how much she loves every part of you.

and each time she catches you in the mirror fretting with your scalp, she'll smother you in kisses until you forget your worries, then go out to buy you a fun new hat or headband or head scarf or wig to take your mind off the loss, and put it on the new fun accessories.

her care for you doesn't stop here. she's just as intensely loving and caring when you experience other symptoms of your illness.

she carries those pocket warmers with her, and when you're out and about and get an ache or pain, she'll pop 'em to activate 'em, then wrap them in a rag before pressing it to whatever part of your body is sore.

she's always making sure you get enough food and water, even when you aren't feeling hungry. she researches good protein shakes with lots of calories and nutrients, then buys the best she can find-- and she'll glare at you every morning and evening until you finish your serving.

if you get tired when you're out in public, sevika will take you home the second you yawn. doesn't matter if you're in the middle of grocery shopping, she'll leave the cart in the middle of the aisle and take you home, holding you until you fall asleep, then sneaking out to return to the store and finish shopping for the both of you.

she still runs her fingers through your hair like she did when you first met, uncaring of the way a few strands will always come out while she strokes your hair. and, when your little bald spots start growing fuzzy patches back, she's fucking thrilled. she loves the texture, loves running her fingers over it.

when you start wearing wigs on the regular (if that's something you do) sevika is always thrilled when you ask for her opinions.

"oooh i think the bob goes better with that outfit, babe." or "fuck, that red looks fucking stunning on you."

sometimes, you'll catch her in the bathroom, one of your wigs on her head, dancing in the mirror as she swishes the long inches of hair behind her back. it's so fucking cute. she's so embarrassed each time you catch her.

anyways, sevika loves you more than anything else in her life. a little hair loss isn't gonna stop that.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki

#anon i hope this helps or makes you smile or laugh #i'm so grateful u guys trust me with such sensitive and close-to-home topics <333 #sevika #sevika imagine #sevika arcane #sevika x reader #sevika x you #soft sevika

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being physically close with a guy before breaking up with my ex? (🧋 To find easier)

Sorry for the long explanation!

Last year I( at the time 16, closeted Agender) was dating this guy (at the time 16, M) who we'll call T. Looking back on it I realise I mostly started dating him because he was the first genuine friend I'd made after moving to our country during COVID, and I've always struggled to differentiate romantic and platonic feelings. A few months in I could tell that this simply wasn't working for me and that the only reason I wasn't leaving was because he really really liked me (I was the first person he'd ever dated) and I'd feel guilty for breaking his heart. Eventually I realised I was somewhere on the Aromantic spectrum, so I came out to him expecting it to be an instant deal breaker. He took me being aro much better then I expected and didn't see it as a reason for us to break up ,and I ended up crying a bunch and was so caught up in the euphoria of him accepting me that I agreed to stay in the relationships.

A few weeks pass and things keep deteriorating, to the point where I thought I was ace (I was not. Turns out I just really was not attracted to him anymore) and because I was still too much of a coward to explain my reasons for breaking up directly, I tried to break up with him under the guise of being aroace because I thought SURELY this horny teenage boy would see this as a deal breaker! Again, he accepted me and again I was so full of guilt/euphoria that I let him talk me out of breaking up.

A bit after this, but BEFORE I finally cut off things for real, I a met a guy(at the time 17, m), K, through my friend's sister when I visited their house at the same time as him. We hit it off instantly, both bonding over being aro (though at the time I still thought I was ace) and within the first night of knowing each other we were cuddling, I sat on his lap (I also did this with my first friend but I'd known her for much longer then a few *hours*) and he was coming up and hugging me from behind. I made it very clear I was in a closed relationship, and both me and K agreed at the time that the touching was just platonic, esp since we are both just generally very touchy-feely people and despite T's many more incel-y traits he was never the jealous type.

Me and K met up a few more times, and we continued being touch-y. When he hugged good bye he'd put his hands on my waist, we'd frequently cuddle, he'd lay his head on my shoulder, I'd like down on his lap, etc etc. there was a boob touching incident once but that was an accident so I don't think it really counts? There also might have been an incident where he put his hand up my shirt a bit (like waist level, not bra level). He made sexual jokes about me and the only thing I did to rebuff him was saying that I was still in a closed relationship, not that I wasn't interested. After the third time we met up I finally accepted that I DID like him sexually, and that I was definitely not ace. I know thought crime isn't real but I feel like such as ass for being so touchy with K and using friendliness as an excuse. I AM touchy with my other friends, but even in the moment I knew my feelings for K were different then that.

I broke up with T about a week later (only reason it took that long is cause we live far away and I didn't want to break up over the phone, especially since that's what I did the previous two failed times). Me and K became friends with benefits a few days later. K knows he helped me realise I really needed to break up with T, but I haven't told him how big of a last straw he was.

I do not feel guilty about breaking up with T, he ended up being a huge asshole, however I am very against cheating. No matter how much I hate T for being a creepy bigoted asshole (would nag me about nudes every night, sent me massive paragraph long guilty trippy texts about how bad his mental health was even months after we broke up, is a little too into WW2 and his German great grandparents which makes my Jewish ass very uncomfortable, and he's said a lot of horrible things about me studying Sign Language) he still does not deserve to be cheated on. I feel like I tried my best to correct the situation once I came to terms with my own feelings, but I was still absolute pushing the boundaries even when I subconsciously knew the way I felt about K was different then my other friends.

This all happened a year ago now, My friends who met T and know about me and K are generally on my side because they dislike T, but Idk still feel guilty when I think back on how stuff unfolded. I know it might just be silly teen drama but I really hate the idea of being a hypocrite who preaches against cheating and then does basically the same thing

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[fanofthelamb]

So I went dumpster diving in my tablet for the first lamb I ever drew and WOW... I found a lot of sketches I really don't plan on revisiting. I am jsut gonna dump them below the cut for people to see!! Some of it is lore related, some of it is shit I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE, but IDC!!! I will post it anyway for the tumblr users who I keep an eye on my notifs for. (yes, i see you guys. even if i dont always interact I see you and love you guys)

Anyway, here is the earliest drawin I have of me drawing the lamb!! I am going to write a comment under a lot of these to add context to them.

A cute little baby <3333 but I struggled a LOT of figuring out what the lamb was wearing, I eventually figured it out though. (I hope)

if you know, you know. (RIP VAL)

for my BTG AU. I decided I no longer wanted chemach to make the [spoiler] for the lamb, though, so I scrapped this

vaaaal,,,,,, i was still learning how to draw him, i wish i put pants on him but do those even exist in COTL? (yes)

I haven't been able to do much with them because I'm putting other stuff first, but Brear has two kids, Notre and Brejul who Narinder absolutely ADORES. he is the one who babysits.

fun fact but the lamb being touch repulsed is a projection LOL. i hate it when people touch me it feels so tickly and makes me want to bite their faces off. (but i am touch starved and i LOVE to show affection to other ppl, esp thru back rubs)

yes, they have a hoop for personal space. no, ill never use it.

drum corcl,,,, i love the little dancing guy that comes from the drums

more narinder and brear. they're not romantically interested in each other, but he is absolutely head over heels for brear, their brother, and the kids. they even call him dad sometimes.

[no context]

kallamar and leshy before their crowns. the scene i have related to this isn't happening anymore, but it was leshy begging to be taught to swim.

another "the one who baby sits" doodle. the bishops all came into the cult with a very good repuation thanks to narinder. he likes to tell the kids of the cult stories about how amazing his siblings were. at first, it was just to nobre and brejul with stories about leshy(he missed leshy a lot even though he was still mad at him, and the two reminded narinder of his time with leshy), but then it escalated into him hosting storytimes with larger groups after they started repeating some of the stories he'd tell them.

unfinsihed stuff about with the lamb and thier mom. their mom wasn't afraid of the bishops at all, but knew that they were a still a threat to her and her child's life. the lamb did NOT care for anyone thier mom didn't approve of/enthusiastically liked. they were much more afraid of the bishops than their mother.

i do not actually know if i posted this.i dont think so, but i giggle every time i scroll past it

brear and nobre <333

im still workong on BTG shit, and i post a little bit of the characters on here even tho the comics are going to be posted elsewhere. they have a "crownlike" beak, but a body part. there's different creatures who became gods through different ways; crowns are one way but their power is stuck with the crown and they are considered extremely weak compared to other gods. i wont blabber on about it tho.

so many sketches has random lines through em because i work with a tablet,,, i hate it. anyway, narinder and kallamar everybody!

sketches i made but didn't bother to finish of me and merbre,,,,,,,,, my husband #1 <3 them w/ narinder + merbre arent gonna be considered "canon" but damn it ill self-ship with them until i get a follower i can WORK with

i come back to this every few weeks and im never happy with it, i dont know if ill finish this but i think about them........ before the divorce </3

unused from an ask

heartstealer. menace. you can rip my heart out anytime, leshy <3

dreshy. he LOVES dresses and being pretty and cute and pretty. he sucks narinder into a lot and heket will sometimes join in if he demands asks her to <3

another unused drawing from an ask i'll eventually answer. (mildly offended at being called a mutton cube.)

.... aaand WOW! I think that's everything guys!! things are still kinda wild but they're calming down a little bit. idk how much longer it's gonna last like this but I have some energy so I made a way-too-long post showing off art I wasn't supposed to post! Awesome. :D

#cw gore #cotl au stuff in here #23 pics under the cut btw #cotl #cotl fanart #cult of the lamb #cotl lamb #the lamb #cotl narinder #cotl spoilers #cotl kallamar #cotl leshy #i dont think ill tag anymore #idek if i should've tagged this post at all #but well see how it plays out!! #THIS POST TOOK FOREVER TIME TO GO CLEAN

[itrithenbartist]

I love you headcanons for sunny day jack. I was wondering if you have headcanons for Joseph Cullman too? You don't have to if you don't want to, but thanks for reading this!

yesssssss i would absolutely love to do this. sorry it took a second, i'm recovering atp. but yea!!

THIS IS 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI OR YOU'LL BE BLOCKED AND ANY AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED TOO

with that out of the way, enjoy <3 gn as possible

-Joseph.......loves praising mc???? but like also in a degrading way than the way jack would. think more towards 'you're such a good sl*t' etc etc

-loves public s*x...there's no way you can look at the man and say he doesn't. of course doesn't want to get into trouble with the law or terrify children, but think of it as a game. see how many times mc can nut on his fingers. before the two of them have to finish this...elsewhere

-loves to tease, doesn't matter about what, just to see mc flush and try to hide is just so appealing to him. even more so when they're going at it in the bedroom and watching mc fall apart with his c*ck and his voice??? mmmm he'll take that everyday

-loves pet names. mc calls him something like "my love" or "baby" or "honey" don't ask him why his first response is to get excited...he's such a lonely man.

-if you want to try things in the bedroom? he doesn't care. mc wants to call him different names/titles? 100% is on board. when him and mc figure out the best title? oh man he's gonna use it against mc everrrrrryday.

-just like last post, he's absolutely for sloppy toppy. he can't get enough of it. tho it's more like an appetizer than like him actually wanting to finish, mc other holes are his main dish he wants in all the time.

-instead of praising when mc tops? filthy talker. goading mc to go harder/faster with whatever equipment they got (bought or organic is fine, he's not picky). even will ride mc to get the results he wants. he's not no pillow princess

-doesn't really sub, more like less domineering than anything else. doesn't mean to? but will laugh in mc's face if they suggest being in charge.

-shouldn't tell him how much you love any part of his body...especially his c*ck....he's gonna be an unstoppable force of nature and it's so sexy scary seeing how he uses this to his advantage

-love's bondage, especiallyyyy on mc. seeing them wrapped in whatever rope/silk? hard, matter of minutes. so turned on

-size different? esp if mc is shorter than him? he's in heaven. he loves that mc gotta crane their neck to him to do anything

softer hc's i think i got all the major k*nks i can think of.

-loves being little spoon. like don't get him wrong he loves dominating mc, and caring........but sometimes he wants to be held??? wouldn't flat out ask for it, but if mc does it on their own? joseph's smitten.

-since he's not rich/doesn't make a lot of money...his idea of love and showing affection is just mostly spending quality time. oh mc gotta do grocery shopping? he's with them. doing basic tasks? follows like a an obedient puppy.

-loves soft touches. when mc just randomly touches him? cups his face? strokes his hair? trace his back? it's a wrap. he's literally gonna be so smitten and soft for mc

-never had someone care about him. so when mc see's he's struggling? and helps give him a 'self care day'? he doesn't know how to react. genuinely stuck between wanting to cry and rejecting the idea of it. fully accepts it after awhile. it's his favorite thing to do with mc

-loves when mc plays with his hair, likes brushing it? and just being so gentle? (actually figuring out that 2-in-1 isn't actually good) and takes the time to let mc take care of his hair. it's so soft and nice now.

-can only cook the essentials...........like eggs and ramen. if mc can cook better than him? well he's been sold for everything else, but this is just a bonus.

-doesn't really speak. genuinely loves hearing mc talk about their day/in general because he thinks their voice is so lovely.

-wants to take care of mc no matter what. mc is the first person to care for him, he wants to make sure they're taken care of.

personally this is a little adhd snippet? i personally hc him that has adhd

-he's weird? he can maintain eye contact, but if you're talking to him, he's walking while listening. so he can actually Listen

-was always shit on for having hyperfixations, esp as a kid...mc makes it safe for him to explore himself and his childhood.

-cannot watch anything without subtitles. it's like...without the subtitles he can't understand shit

-can get really good at something in a matter of days then just dip....because it doesn't stimulate his brain as much as it did

enough adhd content, also it's MY hc because i have audhd, skip over it if you don't want to read it

-joseph loves all shapes mc would be in....just really really loves fat mc. like he loves tummy.

#sunny day jack #somethings wrong with sunny day jack #sdj joseph #lemon #citrus #joseph cullman #sunny day jack x reader #sdj joseph x reader

[onlyseokmins]

[14:46] • l.s.m.

Pairing: lee seokmin x afab!reader

Genres: smut (minors dni!), established relationship kind of ig hehehe

Warnings: possessiveness, jealousy, mean!seok but he's whipped kind of, slapping, WAP LMFAO, choking again but fr, a tiny bit of degradation, bulge kink, mentions of oral (male receiving), slight overstimulation, mentions of voyeurism but not really, he doesn't cum inside but reader wants him to fjskdjf, cum eating lort, kinda soft at the end... as usual just hmu if I missed smth

WC: tumblr mobile bby it's kinda short again?? Maybe?

A/N: another unplanned thing but a continuation of this because mean seok lives rent-free in all our brains esp mine on god 😭 i think he'd be mean solely if his buttons were pressed enough anyways i love procrastinating on the wips I'm creating. God don't come for me AT ALL YO I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING 😭 ACTUALLY THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FAULT IT'S YOURS!!!

Seokmin's even crueler once he bottoms out.

Soft little kisses dotting your neck turn to harsh sucks and bites with the intent to have you lean the back of your head on his shoulder. Which you do, surrendering your entire body to his brutal assault.

His fingers pinch and pull at your nipples before he slaps your tits lightly to watch them bounce from the impact paired with a sharp thrust as his hips snap away and then back up into your warm cunt. Where it belongs.

He doesn't like being mean. Really.

But fury surges in his veins once more when he recalls the way the bartender tried to flirt with you. Leering like a creep at your curves. The frisky clubgoers letting their hands linger a little too long on your ass for his liking. Squishing unnaturally against the front of your body, casual talking as if it's not an excuse to get a sneaky look down your cleavage.

You're gorgeous, he knows that. Well aware of your allure. He fell for it. Hard.

But it's not like you're alone. His arm had been wrapped around your waist all night, shooting challenging glares in every direction because you are his.

Seokmin growls lowly in your ear and your pussy can't help but flutter helplessly around him.

He smirks. It's his dick your soaking cunt is speared on, his hands running up and down your body, his tongue tangling with yours when you tilt your head and kiss along his jawline until he leans down to meet your lips.

Your wetness that he usually likes to drown in, but instead merely played with earlier, leaks down both of your thighs. Every shallow thrust causes more to drip from your hole with a filthy squelch.

Absolutely messy.

He loves it.

"Feel good, baby? No one can fuck you like I do, right?"

"Mhm, yeah... so good. So full. Love it."

"Tell me what you like about me." Your eyelashes flutter as you struggle to focus and comprehend his question. "What made you choose me out of any bastard that would die to have you in his arms? Hm? What made this tight pussy want to swallow up my dick?"

Seokmin's been insecure ever since the first time you met him despite the fact later that night you were sucking him off in the bathroom of the club. Who knows. You'll never fully get it. But he always fucks the brains out of you whenever he's worried you may slip away from his grasp.

You know you'll be sore and have bruises for days. Delicious.

"L-love your smile."

"Yeah?"

"You're so... so kind."

"That so?" A hand returns to wrap around your neck although he doesn't squeeze like earlier. "I'm nice to you baby?"

"Ah, so nice... so sweet," you assure although a lazy smirk is on your lips as your eyes roll to the back of your head in delirium. "So lovely."

He chuckles darkly. "I adore how highly you flatter me but I'm not sure you'll think I'm so kind after this. So tell me, sweetheart. Why do you really like me."

"I — "

Seokmin cuts you off with a real squeeze to your throat, temporarily blocking your airflow. If you weren't feeling lightheaded before, you definitely are now. Floating in that happy little bubble you always find yourself in whenever he lets out his envious side.

When Seokmin snaps, the world pauses to watch him wreck you in awe.

Of course, no one's actually watching. To your knowledge. Although, he's fucking you stupid so who really can tell. But also, why would Seokmin ever divulge such a beautiful sight for anyone else's gaze?

You. Are. His. Alone.

"Or should I say what do you like about me?"

He releases his grip and trails his hand almost lovingly past your breasts and pauses just above your lower abdomen. Peeking over your shoulder, he groans at how he can see himself move within you as he grinds his hips, pelvis rubbing intimately across your ass.

"Huh, baby?" He rasps in your ears and you both moan in tandem when his hand brushes over the bump the tip of his dick causes and you clench impossibly tight. "Gonna answer me, beautiful?"

"L-love your dick in-inside me!"

"Uh-huh."

"No one... No one can fuck you like me, Seokminie. No one h-has a dick so perfect l-like yours is."

"That's right." Your neck is attacked with kisses, nibbles, licks, and bites. "Don't you forget it."

"I would n-never."

"I won't let you. Won't let this pretty pussy forget. Carve my name into this sweet cunt of yours for years to come."

"Mhm, Seokmin..."

"You'd love that wouldn't you."

"Yes!"

"Then cream on my cock, baby. Hm? Make me yours as well?"

His pace is brutal, speeding up as he eggs you on. You whine, reaching your arm around his neck to tug on his the tiny hairs on his nape as you feel the coil burning in your gut snap.

When Seokmin feels you let go, he bends you over doggy style. Hips slamming unforgivingly although his quiet whispers of assurance soothe you through the sensitivity that makes you clamp even harder around him. He can barely squeeze in but he makes it work, opting to slide his aching cock between your plush thighs.

You sob out though when you feel his release spurt out along your thighs. He usually makes sure to cum inside since you're on the pill and you're both safe. Slyly moving your hips, you try to slip his dick back inside to catch the last drops but Seokmin catches on with a click of his tongue.

"You're too sensitive for me, sweetheart." He flops down on his side, pulling you with him. Turning in his arms, you face him with a pout and he wrinkles his brow. "What?"

"I thought you wanted to stake your claim on me?"

His hand shoots down to wipe some of the cum off with a frown. "But I did?"

"You always do it inside."

"Well now everyone can see it clearly."

"Seokmin!"

A hesitant kiss is placed on your nose. "Kidding. Just rest a bit now."

You roll your eyes, grabbing his hand. Keeping eye contact, you lick his fingers clean. His eyebrows are still furrowed, eyes darkening at each kitten swipe of your tongue and light sucking you do as if he's still on edge. But the way the corners of his mouth tilt up fails to hide the lovely smile you're fond of.

Running a hand through his bangs and then cupping his cheek, you smile as well when he leans into your touch.

"I love you, you know? You don't have to worry about anything, I'm yours and you're mine, right?"

Seokmin's eyes flash back open and he suddenly doesn't meet your gaze, shy as if he didn't fuck you crazy enough to see stars. But despite all of that, intimate post-sex moments like these make your heart beat the fastest.

"I know... I love you too."

You press a kiss against his lips, smiling. "But I won't be opposed to you going crazy like this again, maybe I'll still let guys flirt with me if this is how you'll act."

His arms tighten firmly around you as he whines your name in protest. "Don't you dare."

"I won't my sweet boy," you giggle. "I wasn't lying at all, though. Everything is true. You're the only one for me."

His voice is small when he thanks you, burying his head in your neck to hide his embarrassment. It's all so endearing, every side to him. No matter what, you wouldn't change or leave Seokmin ever.

#ez.creates #lee seokmin smut #lee dokyeom smut #dk smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #kpop smut #seokmin smut #dokyeom smut #svt.smut

[genericpuff]

hey! I’m not sure if you’ve seen this yet, but in regards to RS’s awful layer management, I bring you this from the waybacksmythe insta account!

I’m 99% sure that she’s taught herself to work in this manner for a VERY long time. I mean, there’s barely anything in the main layers that have even MORE layers clipped to them

insanity

yooo thank you for this!

Honestly, I don't think it's that bad when it comes to illustration work, it comes down to just being "use whatever amount of layers you need", and it's clear it worked for her older art. It would be fine for comics as well, but most people naturally opt to reduce the layers they use because it just makes things, well, faster, and less complicated. Not to mention if her layer management is part of the reason her file sizes are ending up absurdly huge, then ??? It seems like a no brainer to reduce them. Esp considering so many of the layers in LO from what I've seen in screenshots just seem so pointless, like hyper-micromanaging levels of pointless.

That said, I think there are a lot of things she's taught herself to do that she just hasn't bothered to unlearn, like she thinks she works "better" doing things this way. Her "time management techniques" that result in her and her team always crunching through the weight of the next deadline, her layering structure, how she manages her assistants, the list goes on. It's like when you're so used to doing something one way, you're convinced it has to be working because otherwise, why would you be doing it that way? It's always "worked" for you up until now, so why change? It's why it's hounded into art students especially to step outside of their comfort zone and try new things because it's only through trying new things that you may learn you've been making things way harder for yourself than you need to.

This might be a bit too psychoanalytical, but we were talking about this very subject in the Discord the other day, and it came up that it's like when someone who's struggling with untreated depression or ADHD says, "I don't want to be medicated, it'll take away my spark!" but their spark is literally not showering for a week and eating nothing but toast and mold growing on the dishes in the sink.

In this case, it feels like Rachel's going "I don't want to change, it'll ruin my work!" but her work is literally already falling apart because she's been sticking to these same work methods that are clearly not working for her.

It makes me think of that one old reel where she talks about how she tried something new that didn't work out and became frustrated over the "lost time".

And I do agree with the advice that she's giving in this video, artists should give themselves the space and time to figure things out, to make mistakes, because it's not lost time, it's time you're spending to try. That time will pass anyways, so use it how you like.

But unfortunately I don't think Rachel is actually good at applying this advice because she hasn't set herself up for success. She's always constantly on an immediate deadline because she never sets herself up with proper buffers. She never made herself a plan in the narrative to get this far so she's constantly jumping between plot points to give herself time to figure out how to resolve them. She can't give herself that free time to figure her shit out because she's constantly wringing out the time she has available to her. Look no further than how much time she traditionally spends on social media, AFAIK it's just her running it meaning she's spending all this time browsing and retweeting that she could be spending getting her ducks in a row.

None of this is to say she isn't allowed to have free time, I think it would be great if she could be an Originals creator who could also manage having a healthy work life balance, god knows so many creators don't get to do that. But it's not free time if you're spending it under the weight of deadlines that are literally a week away. It's just distracting yourself.

Of course, that's all speculative, so I'm not gonna continue on much longer with this train of thought, it's just the impression I get because it's clear she values her time but doesn't know how to manage it properly. I feel that all too well as someone who also struggles with ADHD.

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #antiloreolympus #anti lore olympus #ama #ask me anything #anon ama #anon ask me anything

[maddy-ferguson]

controversial opinion but i dont think the duffers set up byler well, lets be real most of the fandom outside of our echo chamber doesn't think byler is going to become canon. and like idk but i agree that they should have at least broken up mlvn and resolved the monologue issue (preferably not include it even) if they were going for the byler route. same for will's importance or even mike's importance for the plot. removing them from the show's main narrative doesn't make a good case for their importance in the story in the penultimate, esp when they received minimum screentime in this season. it's not the audience's fault to think mlvn is endgame or will or mike are unimportant when the way they've been handled were lackluster and when cali plot.... Was Like That. plus they gave it all to el's character lol. ofc ppl gonna think she's the protagonist when she was the one who opened the gate and created vecna and when mike spends the entire season talking about her. redpill but it's not making much sense here when the narrative is criticized in the byler fandom, acting like the writers did a perfect job in terms of setup is just being wilfully blind atp.

i think people not expecting it is the point though. like yeah it's obvious because when they did the same thing on a smaller scale with nancy's love triangle at the end of season 1 (her spending most of the season with jonathan them bonding and her and steve fighting but then still being together in the epilogue) most people could see that jonathan and nancy were gonna be together and not one person was called delusional for thinking that. but i really think the juxtaposition is the point, it's a queer couple so even with a similar storyline people don't expect it because of heteronormativity etc which is kind of depressing but it's also what's gonna make it happening even better...#imho

for the monologue, obviously i don't ENJOY IT but i don't hate it because i think it's interesting for el? whether you think she believed him or not, whether or not you think she was gonna break up with him at sbp, i think having him tell her he loves her makes it so no one can be like "but if mike had said he loved her everything would've been fine!" i like them going all the way in that sense. i think it's good for us as an audience to have that, this way there's no what ifs. it makes it apparent that their relationship couldn't be fixed by mike saying i love you and also that their fight in lenora wasn't only about mike and about their relationship, like mike never thought she was a monster that was all el, and him telling her that she's not a monster won't fix that internal struggle for her. and it also won't help her grow beyond the monster/superhero dichotomy.

i don't like will and mike being away from the supernatural plot either but yk i do think it's because they're important for the resolution of that storyline and that that's also supposed to come as a surprise. for mike well i don't actually know that he is, but i certainly know will is and i think they did set that up pretty well. he's not in episode 7 but they reveal that the upside down is frozen on the day he disappeared, he's in hawkins for five minutes but the season ends with him talking about his connection to vecna and everyone and their mother is reminded of the fact that will is a vital part of the supernatural plot. people don't necessarily think he's gonna be the key to resolving the upside down and vecna thing for good (no matter what that looks like, i'm expecting it to be both el and will because it kind of is the el show + we'll fix it together + lucas and erica (siblings) being the mvps of the basketball game and the dnd game that has a lot of foreshadowing in episode 1 etc) because el's the one who's always done it pretty much by herself...but it's also never worked. not for long anyway. i would say that like byler (but not as shocking because it's not someone assumed to be straight turning out to be gay) it's supposed to make people go oh why have i never thought of that of course will would be an integral part of the ud resolution this makes so much sense!!! when it happens. and characters also always expect el to be the one to fix it just like they don't expect byler to happen. meta.

and again i don't LOVE mike and will's thing being the conversational roadtrip only in season 4, but i get why they did it like i see the vision. i see where you're coming from and i agree that most people not seeing byler coming isn't necessarily their fault (even though i said it's similar to nancy's s1 triangle and everyone expected it then. nancy never gave steve an i love you i've loved you forever i'll love you forever speech, major difference), i really think it's NOT supposed to be that obvious. even though it is kind of. i get wishing they had broken up mlvn in volume 2 and i certainly would've liked not having to see bylers be called delusional 24/7 but i think mlvn breaking up would've made byler endgame wayy too obvious and if they wanted it to be obvious to the girls that get it only i think they've accomplished that. same with will and the supernatural plot. and everyone is free to not like it still, i just don't think that means the set up isn't good.

very last paragraph. i don't think everything they've ever written is perfect. i don't even think every decision that's been made by the st team regarding WILL's queerness is perfect like (this is another conversation) having noah deny the gay allegations on will's behalf a month before having him say oh yeah he is gay it's obvious is crazy to me it's no surprise that people feel like it's an afterthought and like byler is never gonna happen. even though i obviously disagree with them. fin.

#parenthesis inception #obviously i think the monologue is also interesting for mike and for byler and for will depending on how they deal with it in s5 (can you #imagine hearing your bff that you happen to be in love with tell your new sister who saved your life a bunch of times that he's in love #with her that's bad enough but also that his life started the day he met her which also happens to be about 24 hours after your life change #4ever in the worst possible way like you were fighting for your life in the ud and he makes it sound like #he was having a great time and falling in love and yeah he was #looking for you but also finding himself a girlfriend and that's the thing he'll remember for the rest of his life. you're being mean stop #it wouldn't even be enough in this situation like i would have a very hard time believing that my bff i'm in love with loves me back or #even cares about me at all. but yk i'm not the duffer brothers' oc who knows what they'll do) #el fixing it and it not lasting long is also true of everyone trying to fight the ud with guns btw like yeah nancy is very badass and it's #great that she...likes firearms? idk. idk how to say it but i get that it's a positive thing for her character but at the end of the day #vecna literally walked away lmao like that was not a win #ask

[greenerteacups]

Long ask ahead! Sorry in advance for my rambling!

I’m a huge fan of Lionheart! (Latest update got me furious btw, your Umbridge characterization is amazing; i need. Revenge. the woman is vile)

my long ask today is on the topic of writing fanfics, or beginning to; i’ve been a fan of hp for a longish (?) time (i am currently in my first year of college, so since elementary school) and i want to start dipping my toes in writing fanfics, esp dramione. problem is, i have all these grand plans and ideas but i struggle with motivation and perfectionism — especially perfectionism. this has been a long standing problem on my end, but if every line is not to “my standard, or “perfect”, i feel deeply dissatisfied and i find it impossible to move on. i’m also very flighty — i get distracted easily, and lose momentum. i have so many ideas that i want to try out that i end up having a plethora of projects, none with a resolution. do you deal with this? what are your biggest struggles with writing? how do you move past them?

i also would like to say that i know that you’ve stated that writing is all for fun, but if you were to get published, i would 100% buy! i really hope you’re doing something in the creative industry, because really, your writing is amazing.

Hey, what up! Thanks so much!

If you'll permit a bit of tough love: it sounds like you don't really like writing those projects. There are a lot of reasons someone might leave a project, but when it comes to free hobby writing, if you've abandoned something, Occam's Razor, it's because you don't want to do it anymore.

And BTW: that's fine. You're not legally obligated to finish stuff. You're not under contract. If you're a hobby writer, your sole obligation is to have fun and please yourself. I've written tons of stories without middles or endings; I've got dozens of 3 or 4-chapter would-be longfics sitting on my drive, with absolutely no intention to finish them. I'm totally fine with that. This is something I do for fun. Why would I bully myself about not being sufficiently "productive" in something I'm doing for fun?

But it sounds like maybe you want to finish a fic, and/or see finishing as a prerequisite to publishing, in which case: you need to keep writing a project after you're bored or dissatisfied with it. In fact, I'd go so far as to suggest that you should go back through your drive, find the project you like least, and force yourself to write 1-2 pages on it. Because you are never going to be as pleased with what you've written as you are with the fake perfect story in your head. Even the worst, shittiest, misspelled, poorly plotted story that exists is better than the fake perfect story, because it exists, and is real writing, rather than just being the concept of something that is well-written. Abandoning a story because it doesn't live up to the hype is like refusing to eat because what's on the plate isn't as good as the Platonic concept of a chocolate cake. Like, of course it's not, dude! You didn't imagine it as having flaws!

It seems like you know that, which suggests that you need to force yourself to write something that you don't want to. So try shorter stuff! Writing short stories is a great way to learn the tools of the trade while giving yourself less time to burn out. Make it easy on yourself. And like, remember to forgive yourself. There are some things you can bully your brain into doing. Sincere and authentic art is not one of them.

#greenteacup asks #correction: you can bully your brain into writing but you can't bully it into writing WELL #so get a routine and then just forgive yourself as much as you can for not keeping it #and don't write longfic. longfic drains endurance it's a terrible starter project #although then again. haruki murakami wrote a novel on his first try. so what do i know? #maybe we're different kinds of writer. i hope you find your way. and if it's similar to my way - great!

[chaotic-archaeologist]

Hi Reid!

I recently finished my undergrad, double major history/anthro w a minor (kinda, its complex lol) in animal studies. Im volunteering at a university zooarchaeo lab, since thats what I wanna do, but I'm searching for history/archival/archaeo work bc I Need To Be Paid and really struggling since I don't have a drivers license yet and can't leave where I'm at rn anyway bc of my lab volunteering which is every week (also im working on a GIS cert too so... cant leave city for like 8-10 day shifts lol). Its getting *quite* demoralizing im ngl, esp since I have an undiagnosed fatigue condition on top of it all so stuff like minimum wage customer service isnt suuuuper an option for me tbh.

Was wondering if you had any advice for the archaeologists coming out of undergrad?

If not, a strange history fact that might make me laugh will suffice /j (ya boy needs a laugh)

From,

Currently Sitting In A Tree, Listening to Unreal Earth by Hozier

Hi dirtling, I'm afraid that I don't have great news for you. My answer is going to be more or less the same as the one I gave in this post, which essentially boils down to: you need to go to grad school if you want to be employed in this field.

Working in pretty much any anthropology job is going to require at least a Master's degree, especially ones that require such specialized knowledge like zooarchaeology. Please go look at the post I linked above, because I outlined a good approach for figuring out what kind of qualifications you're going to need.

Also, pretty much every archaeology fieldwork job listing out there is going to require a valid driver's license (at least in the United States). They cannot legally require you to have your own car, but being able to drive a company/crew car (and sometimes a truck and/or a trailer) is a skill that Cultural Resource Management companies are going to be looking for, if you decide to go that route. Lab jobs might be different, but they're less common that fieldwork positions.

I'm sorry—I know this probably isn't the answer you wanted to hear, but somebody needs to give you a realistic assessment of the anthropology job market. Ideally this would've been mentioned as part of your undergraduate education, but better late than never.

There are options out there for you—I really believe that. If you choose not to go to grad school right now or ever, an anthropology degree can be parlayed into any number of jobs that involve understanding humans and culture: public relations, human resources, marketing/advertising, demographics analysis, etc. The GIS cert is also a very marketable skill. Here's a good webpage to look at.

As for a historical fun fact, check out this Smithsonian article about bread that was made with yeast and a recipe from ancient Egypt!

-Reid

#he speaks #archaeology advice #archaeology as a job

[sylvaridreams]

I cut out some off topic chatter and fixed a couple typos but otherwise this is copy paste from discord, followed by some more from just me. Diving into Alba, his status as a leader and symbolic figure, his relationships with friends and lovers, and his relationship with himself.

(Long post ahead.)

Dama: tbqh i'm wondering how much longer his relationship with canach can or will last.... they love each other but the conditions keep getting more and more strained it feels like. now alba's vanished again…

Sage: I was wondering that too actually like. Wondering how strong it can last, esp since things were pretty separate for eod and haven't exactly gotten better since

Dama: canach maybe tries to find him during this... like alba was notably in the grove, giving interviews, canach tries to get ahold of him (maybe they had plans for later) and alba just never responds or shows up. stands him up and canach's like ok. well i can wait, he's probably having one of his moments.

Dama: and then weeks pass and nothing.

Dama: and then months. at some point he has to assume alba's either dead or just moved on.

Dama: letters not only being ignored but coming back return to sender. 🧍‍♂️ like "unable to locate" kind of shit

Dama: it's not like anyone else in what was once dragon's watch knows where he is either

Sage: The only one you'd be able to rely on to track him down is honestly MEISI. And..well.

Dama: my god Ivan is literally the last person who talked to him isn't he (editing note: I don't think Alba even speaks when Zojja uses his comms to call Taimi later.)

Dama: and then these demons start cropping up all over the world and its like. god. things look grim enough with just that but it appears the commander has either died or just left. and he's known for just leaving, and he's also known for doing things to put himself in danger, so. after some time canach probably just... finishes the grieving he's already started years ago, and tries to move on

Dama: i think it would hit alba hard if canach just moved on. 🧍‍♂️ a real blow to the chest.

Sage: The commnach economy is in fucking shambles

Dama: because in HIS head they're a sure thing possibly forever.... yeah i was away for a few months doing wizard shit why would you just assume i was dead?

Dama: "you didn't write me" well i. i. didn't think it would reach you.

Sage: And away for a year before that because of the tiger. And -

Dama: at some point i think canach wouldn't be willing to take him back either. at least not right now. work on yourself a bit man.

Dama: take care of yourself so you don't hurt the next person to fall in love with you.

Sage: Albas fucked up and struggling but canach is allowed to be and feel hurt because good lord.

Dama: canach has been a good sport about it for a long time but he made it clear when they started dating-dating and not just fooling around that he had his own issues and that he had boundaries and limits to what he could help with or tolerate or be around. and alba has pushed those limits almost non stop

Sage: ALBA YOU IDIOT YOU LOST THE 10/10 CACTUS

Dama: (in game screenshot reading…

Alba Moonseeker: Does what make me angry?

Peitha: The fact that everyone doesn't immediately bathe in your excellence.)

Sage: Hope how casual and informally indifferent meisi is with him now on average helps.

Dama: WHY ARENT YOU BATHING IN HIS EXCELLENCE MEISI :cry2:

Sage: Hes been there for it all it wasn't excellent

Sage: Meisis been there for it all from.a little sapling in the vigil to dragons dying to morning a charred corpse on a plateau. He respects alba, he loves alba, he had a crush on him a fuckin millenia ago. But hes never, will never deify alba.

Sage: Even among dragons watch hes a rare gaze that Just Sees a Person.

Dama: a person who can be incredibly shitty as a friend sometimes, lbr

Dama: his "I'd save the village" ass. Liar.

Sage: Probably doesn't even know one of meisis partners might die /s

Sage: Again. Meisi stays. Its more of a headache and a chore than a friendship the last few years but. If his presence does anything to help stabilize alba it is likely worth it. Even for what he has/hasn't done meisi doesn't think he deserves cutoff isolation

Dama: no but fr does he ask meisi how things are, does he take an interest in these things, or is it all take and very little give from him much of the time? you have to tell alba something's up for him to inquire about it, he won't go seeking you out to check on you.... case in point, zojja post-maguuma. his little "i would have loved to have seen her" was such bullshit to me. what stopped you buddy? never once did he Try to go find her. does he know one of meisi's partners might die... probably not, or he doesn't know the full extent of it. i don't think it's a lack of interest in people or anything, i don't think it's fully intentional, but i do think he's kind of selfish and self centered and zoomed in on his own stuff. being a hero. being THE hero.

Dama: "I'd save the village." but you don't know who any of the villagers are beyond the surface level "villager" title. you don't ask how they are. and meanwhile the dragon's champion is razing the next village over because you had to pat yourself on the back again.

Sage: Hes so focused on saving the world hes lost connection with it

Dama: i think at his base alba is a lonely person because he does things to keep himself alone. and that's why he's perfect for heroics and perfect for the pedestals that he gets lifted up onto. the commander, the hero of tyria and amnoon and cantha, the wayfinder. pinning titles to his lapels like war trophies. meanwhile he doesn't know the most base things about his closest friends. doesnt know Zeeki's dying, doesn't know almost anything about Bourbon's backstory, he only knows so much about Auruim because Auru is loud and pushy about rubbing alba's face in things. Thiiyf had to walk away from the Pact, she could have stayed by his side into Lws3 and beyond but she couldn't stand to be involved with him any longer knowing how limited her time was.

Dama: he sees his friends as not caring about him when the world doesn't need saving, well? do you care about your friends? ever?

Dama: dragon's watch is basically defunct with soo won gone -- yeah and i bet these people still make an effort to keep in contact and share things from their lives while he runs around getting hurt and being miserable and bemoaning that no one needs the commander. i love him so much god

Dama: bottom line I think that the guild and others "only reach out when the world needs saving" because. alba doesn't care unless the world needs saving.

Dama: it would be such a funny (not funny) gut punch for him to see how much everyone has moved forward in their personal lives and still stayed connected while he was. doing what? whatever. like he felt like such an outsider with the wizards and all, these guys all know each other and he's just some random from Tyria... but he doesn't know his friends either.

Dama: he's a stranger to them too.

Dama: I think he went to Rama's party primarily because he was desperate and hoping that someone would drop a big adventure on the table for the guild to go conquer as a team.

Dama: i would find it so funny if the next time he sees someone from dragon's watch they showed up with a kid and he's like haha whose baby is this then and they're like ??? commander this is my daughter....? i wrote you a letter when she was born, didn't you... read it? and everyone's quietly uncomfortable because of COURSE he didn't.

Sage: Its sad to think that *meisi* is probably more knowledgeable about what deidre means to Auru god d a m n.

Dama: of course he is, Meisi takes an actual interest in Auruim.

Alba is overall a man desperate for approval and love. He's a bad friend and lover because he only cares when the stakes are world ending, and people don't seem to care about or like him much because Alba doesn't care about or like himself. He's unable to wrap his head around a trolley problem like "would you go kill the dragon's champion on the mountain, or would you save a village from bandits" as a philosophical question because to him the "correct" answer boils down to "which one is going to make people love me?" He wouldn't save the farm, not as long as there was anything bigger and more important to do.

Being elevated to the pedestal of Commander as a sapling and then left up there for over a decade has made him incapable of seeing eye to eye with other people, even friends and lovers, not with his massive ego in the way. In a way I think that 13 years of nonstop warfare has just traumatized him to where he can't see himself as a singular small person, he has to be the face of an army, the face of heroism, and it doesn't help that he’s always going to be the Commander, hero of amnoon, dragon's champion, now wayfinder. Not a person, just a symbol.

SotO has been fascinating because not only is he treated as an outsider to a group of people so close to one another that they're family–outside looking in at healthy, real interpersonal relationships– he's also treated with revile and hatred by people within the fractals that he's "failed" – thinking specifically about the Zaishen and refugees in the Elona fractal. Their version of him failed to do the good deed, kill the big bad, win the wars, and so they hate him, and it's been a LONG time since random innocents have treated Alba that way. It took me back to the start of Lws4 when people were running from the branded attacks on Amnoon, shouting at him "You said this wouldn't happen, you said we were safe, you said you'd protect us and it was over," etc. Forcibly rubbing his face in (a version of) his failures and telling him YOU fucked this one up. The first time in a long time that people who "should" revere his symbol instead spit on it and deny him the love he needs. Maybe that *is* what he needs. To be kicked down and told he's done wrong and he can't fix it. Maybe he needs more failures under his belt, failed attempts, failed relationships, so he can finally value what he has.

I don't know right now if he and Canach will try again later on; currently the plan is that in a few months, Alba will make some sort of contact with his old guild and be told, essentially "we assumed you were dead or had left us, either way we've moved on in these ways and suggest you do too," and Canach will inform him that the same is true for their relationship; i.e. you either died or disappeared again, and I can't keep doing this either way. I've mourned you enough already. Go deal with your problems and learn to treat people who care about you like people who you care about rather than props and side characters to your A-plot.

I could definitely say more on that but I'll wait until I get some lore figured out and posted for Auru and Bourbon for SotO. :)

#loreposting #alba #soto spoilers #canalba

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Interested in your answers for 17 and 19 of the choose violence ask game, if you'd like to share them! Thank you :)

I was halfway through answering when I realized I totally misread the ask game. It is... not intended to be as dark as I made my answers, I think... oh well! I'm sticking to my guns. Anyone who's read my stuff knows this is a dead dove household lol

17. There should be more of this kind of fic/art

Oh man I'm about to Reveal Myself, but... I think KP as a whole could really use more noncon/dubcon, but KimChay especially (and Kim specifically). I read a fic a looong time ago when I first entered the fandom, it was like 400 words, and I'm not gonna name it in case the author doesn't want to be attached to it, but it was so good. Essentially Chay is very enthusiastic in the smut and Kin can't bring himself to say no, and I just!!! That is the good shit to me. I feel like especially post-reconciliation, Kim is exactly the kind of person that would overcompensate for breaking Chay's heart by giving him everything he wants. (i may be writing a fic about this already, called Stress Relief. That may or may not ever be posted. That may or may not be based on my own personal trauma. Anyway.) On a lighter note! I want to see more AUs! I'm a bit spoiled coming from the TW fandom, which is like. One of the most prolific fandoms on Ao3. But mannn, I want to see KimChay writers branch out and get absolutely unhinged with their AUs!

19. You're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

Lets be real. My first answer was non-con. There's really not a lot I'm ashamed about lol. I mean I've got like 3 different tentacle monster fics in the works, I've got a Wuju Bakery fic that's 90% slime and oviposition (technically still up for debate. Eggpreg?). I'm all in on the things I like, and don't care/think much about the things I don't. I think I've been in fandom long enough, and gotten old enough, that I just... don't have time to waste on being awkward anymore. Lose your shame! Cast off your shackles! That said I used to think rimming was really gross and I don't like it irl but there are some people who just write it like. unf. Hot damn. I'm a little mad at @ae-azile for that one chapter of Progression 👀

Also not mad/ashamed/horrified, but I was surprised at how much I love reading autistic Kim and writing trans!Kim. For the first one I think the writers in this fandom do an excellent and convincing job at characterizing him (esp @kimkhimhant my beloved <3) without infantilizing him, which... happens a lot with autistic characters. Like, the writing is so spot on that I didn't even question in, I pretty much immediately assimilated that into my mental rolodex of headcanons. 10/10 A+ effort for everyone around.

The trans!Kim aspect is also really fun. I'd never really written trans characters before, but this past year, and the past couple of months especially, I've been really struggling with my own gender and identity. So writing about that through Kim has been really therapeutic. (Adding to my first answer, we need more trans!Kim!) Although... I do hope that the particular way I've chosen to explore his gender in Dystocia is.. taken gracefully. Since it does revolve around Kim having a very traumatic pregnancy (and a lot of other trauma in general), which I know can be triggering for people. Whenever I eventually post that monster of a fic I'm just going to liberally tag it with all the things and hope for the best lol.

I think Dystocia and Stress Relief are two fics that I'm incredibly nervous to post, both because of how personally significant they are to me in a way most of my fics aren't, and because they're both very dark, which IDK if that's something people really want to see from KimChay (esp in Stress Relief).

Anyway! This is a lot wordier and darker than it probably needed to be, and IDK if it's what you were looking for dear anon, but thank you for the ask!

#cookie speaks #ty for the ask lol #if anyone tries to come for me for the noncon just know i WILL fite u #im processing my ~trauma~ #and Kim is my squishy stress ball

[claudiajcregg]

i'd love to hear any behind the scenes you have on 'say it's here where our pieces fall in place' bc i read it and loved it and i want to know about it 💜

Welp, I've been thinking about this since you sent it and I feel I won't do it justice! I feel like I could say a lot if I went chapter by chapter, but many tabs of unread fics stare back at me. I'll skim and try to say something, though.

Some commentary on say it's here where our pieces fall in place under the cut! I am sick and rambly. And lbr I can never shut up anyway, but this might be too incoherent even for me. (Original ask post here)

It was sort of an unofficial NaNoWriMo project, in that I set myself a goal to tackle “longer fics” or ideas I wanted to cover but hadn't. From my notes, I had this idea to write a ficlet per year because I always enjoy this kind of story, and I know I'd tried to approach different ones in the past. I started writing in late October/finished in Nov 2021. (The other fic I started was never finished, even if dammit, it hits.) I posted it in January, so it wasn't that bad, considering I'll often take months.

It's maybe important to note that I had only finished writing “The Monster (affectionate)” (aka the 148k-ish word IM AU) in early September and I felt a bit burned out after spending five months writing that (would’ve been less but the struggle was real for the last third of the story. Oddly reminiscing of you-know-what story these days). This arbitrary deadline helped me get back into writing. Granted, I wrote a couple of fics in those five months, but I wanted to try another multichapter.

Anyway. I picked some random, perhaps not obvious choices for the vignettes. It was partly to avoid writing something I might have potentially covered at one point, and also a challenge. Some are also strange (the dream!), but I kinda loved it? (Fun fact: the fic references the Sherry-Netherland, whose exterior is the establishing shot in Internal Displacement. I swear there is some thought put into my writing.) And as the A/N I wrote to myself, I definitely wrote and rewrote bits and pieces of this on my way to and from therapy, haha.

Let me find a fun fact about each of the chapters, if I can think of any.

1998: actually repurposed some campaign fic idea I distinctly remember writing in spring 2018, while I was still in uni. It also has GLOVES. I live for that.

1999: I like the idea of exploring Danny and Abbey's relationship! They presumably have a good one and yet, I don't think we ever see them interact. (And god. Danny's recent, pre-campaign breakup is a recurring theme in my campaign stories too, loool.)

2000: Danny and Josh are an underrated friendship, and I like the references to Rosslyn. There was so much in those months in Midterms that we didn't see, and I like thinking Danny visited his friend.

We also got two back-to-back chapters focused on Danny - I remember trying to make it even, so that the focus was more or less evenly split.

2001: the Manchester fuckup! And it's one of the dream chapters! There were two of them? (We're 3 out of 4 in which I was surprised by the focus, but now I kinda want to re-read it all properly?) I'll say that I can see some vague, unconscious inspo from Freefall by KadeeFalls in this chapter (esp since I was just talking to you about it)... But I'm mostly obsessed with the magical realism (there's another term that my foggy brain cannot think of rn) of dreams, and how it can help us clear our heads.

2002: I remembered this was set after Simon! I know it's probably an odd, controversial choice but they both tried to move on (at least, we know CJ did), and it felt disingenuous not to include it. There are moments when she almost admits to her previous (?) feelings for Danny, but stops.

As with most thus far, there were fluffier and probably better choices for 2002 (Christmas!!), but... My brain wanted it to appear like CJ couldn't really bring herself to think about Danny.

2003: Aw, the specialty store is inspired by a franchise over here that had Goldfish (not many flavors) and I took a dramatic license and added it over there. I also added a small flashback because I love thinking Danny doesn't think they're all that but likes them. (But will tease CJ about it.) Plus, some more resolution to moving on!

2004: Yeah, the formatting is weird. (This is one I'd have to go back and do a blockquote or something.) Danny winning a Pulitzer for the Shareef stuff is a mostly accepted headcanon. CJ seeing his picture on the paper and having feels is just something I love, especially if he mentions someone else. (Look. I'm all for letting him pine, but he deserves to move on and fail too.) Plus Josh teasing her!

2005: The Sherry-Netherland! fwiw, I'm sure I had finally figured out this was the place and decided it would be so cheeky to add it here. I'm so sMaRt. Flowers when she gets promoted! And my spin (in this story) of CJ vaguely shunning him. This is the angst before the fluff.

2006: I remembered this one was a dream at some restaurant! (Again the formatting is not great, but I didn't want to tip my obvious hand.) The same way I think CJ's dream in 2001 was about her wondering how Danny would have reacted, this is about Danny realizing he needs to reach out to her... But with the added family ~tale~. Def inspired by that lyric in "Sad Beautiful Tragic."

2007: I feel like having it at some random dinner with Josh and Donna was an odd choice, but I loved the idea of a double date! The scarf scene is just so! And the chaos siblings energy is great. It was a reprieve from the angst.

Meeting at LAX was right there! I had written a story or two trying to do it justice, so I'm guessing that's why it's not. And fwiw the airport story I wrote shortly after that is the one being posted ~soon~. (A rewritten, slightly expanded version.)

2008: Pregnancy mood swings! It hurt to make them fight, but it's so fluffy otherwise. From what I remember, it has various references to things that happen in the story (particularly from the first two chapters) but it still manages to close it rather nicely, showing how strong their marriage is. I hope.

Okay. This has gotten way too long and it's probably useless.

I've always said I could have written another 11 chapters using different scenes, because there are just so many, even outside the obvious ones... Though I feel I wouldn't be able to recapture the magic.

I do definitely want to reread this for real. As with many fics, it's one of those I used to reread often before posting it (especially the last quarter/third) and then just ignored after. See some other recent examples, such as memoir fic, Portland fic.

Thank you for asking, Ally! God, I used to be a good writer. What happened?!??!

#fanfic director's cut #ask games #onekisstotakewithme #asks #it's taken me an hour or so to write it alskdjasdasd

[edenwolfie]

For the writer ask - 13, 17, 27, 28, 36!

Hallo and thank you for the ask! I'll stick to my fanfics for answering these :)

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy? I always always struggle with sex scenes, they tend to not take too long, but are then followed by the most god awful amount of editing to try and make it at least vaguely sexy. Local aroace tries their best lol. Otherwise I don't think I struggle quite as much as that with much else?

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why? I think it was probably Madam Yu from my MDZS fic series Just Say Yes. Every scene she was in was a trial for me to get my head around because the series was very much a 'fix-it everything you can' kinda deal, but I also didn't want to drastically change anyone's character, so she was a difficult line to walk. Mostly I avoided this by keeping her out of scenes when I could lol. I remember one or two people wanting a chapter from her POV and just, I would have died of frustration and the fic would have never been finished lol.

27. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why? I have to be honest, writing Xie Lian for Compass has probably been my fave. I feel like I just get him (whether this is true or non lol) and can just go when writing him.

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice…what do you Know? So much random shit; working in a medical setting, working in a school setting, working in a retail/food service setting, illustration (traditional & digital), animation (2D & 3D), sports (springboard diving, soccer, skiing), music (esp. cello, bass guitar, singing, with group orchestra, choir, bands etc), D&D and board games, and cooking/baking. Probably some other stuff I'm forgetting, but oh well! I think only the music, art, and retail/food service topics have wormed their way into my writing thus far, I'm not much for a modern setting, so a lot of that doesn't tend to apply lol.

[from weird questions for writers ask meme]

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text. Well, let's go with Compass cause it's still in my brain, and the extras are still WIPs. So here's some random brain faff (under the cut):

- Hua Cheng scared the shit out of Xu Hao when he came back to town and cornered him like 'who the fuck is the new guy? name? age? occupation? appearance? birthday? tax file number? etc' and Xu Hao is just like, that's just Wujin he's just our lil guy now. i don't know shit. please blink. - Hua Cheng basically spent the month he was gone out of Ghost City after Zhongyuan having the worlds longest panic attack and sculpting the most frantic bunch of statues he could to prove to himself he still remembered how Xie Lian looked. This also stopped him destroying anything because he was Not Allowed to break them. Is why he got himself out of the city, because otherwise a few blocks were gonna go bye bye. - Dianshui remembers in very awful detail how she died but she will not ever fucking share that with anyone. - I already shared this with a commenter but re: the wine Xie Lian gives to Hua Cheng in Ch 4 (the one where he had worked for the winemaker for a while), there's so many bottles in the cellar because the winemaker is now a ghost now and still making the wine so Hua Cheng likes to buy them as the winemaker spoke kindly of Xie Lian. - The section where Xie Lian makes the drinks for Chunchun's ex was called "Evil Ratatouille" in my WIP doc for absolutely no good reason.

#ask meme #ask #tarantasina #edenwolfie writes