#nct long fic

[butvega]

TA-LA-RI-CO! VII

@najaemin fast and furious c minha gatinha ♡

Foi uma grata surpresa acostumar-se tão rapidamente com o ronco da Porsche de Jaemin Na, que encontrava-se sendo estacionada pelo mesmo no campus da PUC. Ao lado de suas amigas, seu coração acelera, e o sorriso tímido surge a medida em que elas brincam sobre você estar apaixonada.

Ele sai do carro com a mochila nas costas, sempre lindo e estiloso trajando seu boné para trás. Seu coração bate mais forte quando ele sorri como se estivesse iluminando seu mundo inteiro, e segue em sua direção. Suas amigas permanecem ao seu lado, Clara Sampaio e Luana Bueno eram suas fiéis escudeiras.

— Ó teu namorado vindo aí. — é Luana quem provoca, te fazendo revirar os olhos, completamente vermelha.

Na chega até vocês, deposita exatos dois beijinhos na bochecha de cada uma das meninas, e quando chega em sua vez, sorri, e suspira, antes de te dar um selinho demorado. Também escuta as risadinhas das meninas, e agarra mais forte sua cintura, achando graça de sua timidez.

— Mais tarde rola um cineminha, não rola? — diz baixinho para que você escute, ainda com a boca colada na sua, os olhos fechados aproveitando o momento.

— Uhum... Nana, 'tá todo mundo olhando... — você ri baixo contra os lábios dele.

— 'Tô nem aí... Bom que fica geral sabendo que tu é minha. Eu sou ciumento, sabia? — descola os lábios dos seus, e te dá um abraço apertado.

— Bobão.

— Vou 'pra aula agora, agora de manhã vão me dar uma surra só de direito penal... Tá? Quando acabar suas aulas me fala, te levo em casa pra 'tu se arrumar, passo lá na minha 'pra tomar um banho e a gente vai, beleza?

— Combinado.

— Beijo, gostosa. — te dá mais um selinho, um leve aperto em sua bunda, e segue para suas aulas matinais.

— Ih, ele 'tá todo apaixonado! — Clara cutuca sua cintura rindo, claramente em provocação.

— Ai, Clara, pelo amor de Deus. — você revira os olhos, sorrindo toda bobinha.

Em seu relógio de pulso, as horas pareciam passar mais devagar do que deveriam. Suas pernas batiam impacientes durante sua aula de geometria descritiva. Constantemente os olhos vagavam pela tela do celular, buscando alguma notificação nova, alguma mensagem de Jaemin. Para seu espanto, a tela brilha, mas no êcran não é a foto de Nana que aparece, e sim a de Jeno. Seu cenho franze, a curiosidade atiça e você abre a mensagem, que não diz nada mais que "coé, tá aí?". Confusa, você pensa duas vezes em responder, mas acaba respondendo um simples "uhum". É... No mínimo estranho. Não consegue imaginar o que Jeno quer com você depois de ter se atracado com Jaemin.

Depois dessa mensagem, e de você não ter tido resposta, o tempo passa mais devagar do que você imagina, ou quer.

Em pouco tempo você estava dentro da Porsche de Jaemin, enquanto ele dirigia tranquilo pelas ruas da Barra, se encaminhando até seu apartamento. Murmurava algum rap desconhecido, batucando tranquilo no volante.

Você se arruma na velocidade da luz, coloca uma roupa talvez até meio exagerada de se ir só ao shopping, mas se não se arrumasse para ir ao shopping, se arrumaria para ir aonde? Manda uma mensagem para sua mãe antes de sair, avisando que iria ao cinema, e faz um boomerang para colocar em seus storys. Gosta do resultado, aliás. Aos pulos volta ao carro, e encontra Jaemin distraído com seu telefone.

Pelo horário, o cinema está vazio. Jaemin faz questão de pagar a sala VIP, onde estão praticamente sozinhos em largas poltronas de couro, munidos de um balde enorme de pipoca, e coca-cola. Alguns doces na sacola da Americanas são de lei, é claro.

Sendo sincera consigo mesma, você nem sabia qual era o filme, e não estava minimamente interessada. Seu foco era totalmente tomado por Jaemin, e sua boquinha rosada macia pressionada contra a sua, te beijando bem preguiçosinho.

— O filme, Nana... — você murmura entre o beijo quando sente que a afobação do garoto poderia facilmente extrapolar os limites ali permitidos.

— Desculpa, desculpa. — ele murmura risonho, se ajeita na cadeira, e passa míseros cinco minutos quietinho fingindo ver o filme, antes de voltar a atacar seus lábios, e emitir sons irritantes e molhadinhos de beijo entre as paredes negras e escuras.

Era difícil fingir, a vontade de Jaemin era te pegar no colo, te arrastar para a casa dele, te trancar em seu quarto e ficar a semana inteira só te beijando, e te abraçando. Frases românticas estavam entaladas na garganta do malandro, e o que ele não conseguia dizer, transportava pros atos, no caso, naquele momento, te beijar incessantemente.

Você, por sua parte, reparava o certo nervosismo vindo de Jaemin. Nana geralmente não era daquele jeito, mas ele parecia... Diferente. E era difícil, e perigoso. Você não queria admitir para si mesma que também estava apaixonada.

— 'Cê me deixa maluco, sabia? Eu nem faço mais questão de porra nenhuma se eu tiver você do meu lado. — murmura, acaricia seus lábios devagar, capturando cada emoção do seu rosto, inclusive o mini sorriso envergonhado.

— Você é lindo demais, Nana.

— Me arramo quando você me chama assim.

— Meu Nana. — você ri baixinho, morde o lábio inferior dele devagar, e ele puxa o ar entre os dentes afim de reprimir um gemido.

— Se eu pudesse, te comia aqui. — ele fala, completamente cafajeste, e você gargalha, tampando a boca desesperada em seguida.

— Nana, pelo amor de Deus.

— Colé, maluca, pode gritar no cinema não. — ele ri baixinho, olhando para os lados, afim de capturar a reação das poucas pessoas que dividiam o espaço com vocês.

— Vê o filme, palhaço. — você murmura, e ele te agarra novamente com os braços, te aconchegando em seu colo.

Andar de mãos dadas com Jaemin no shopping parecia ser o correto. Como se... Fosse pra acontecer. Tivesse que acontecer. Então você só deixava se levar... Era divertido como ele falava sobre o filme, se empolgava contando todos os detalhes sobre Velozes e Furiosos, e fazia analogias sobre as corridas proibidas que ele fazia com sua porsche pelas ruas do Rio. Você se arrepiava só de pensar na velocidade em que ele poderia correr, mas ele ria, e te tranquilizava, dizendo que "o pai tinha o toque".

Te levou para tomar um açaí, ver o pôr-do-sol no Arpoador, e cada segundo que passava você tinha mais certeza de que era ele. Mas então por que Jeno apareceu primeiro em seu caminho? Por que teve que sofrer por ele? Poderia ter se apaixonado por Jaemin de primeira, seria tão mais fácil.

Depois Jaemin te deixou em casa, e depois de muitos amassos na porta de sua casa, ele finalmente se foi, deixando seu coração apertadinho de saudade, e o perfume caro dele em suas roupas. Jaemin desce pelo elevador com os lábios vermelhinhos e inchados de tanto te beijar, com um sorriso bobo no rosto, e corado. Ele realmente estava apaixonado.

Seu conto de fadas parece se desfazer à medida em que você sai do banho, e seu celular está em cima da pia vibrando. O pega, curiosa, e o coração para ao ler tantas notificações com o nome de Jeno.

Jeno Lee:

"queria falar c você, tô mal p crl de cabeça com essa parada sua c o jaemin. eu ainda amo você demais, não queria que as coisas tivessem ido p esse rumo... vamo se encontrar, eu te busco aí, vamo se resolver, pf.."

#ta la ri co! #na jaemin #lee jeno #nct #nct dream #nct long fic #nct angst #nct smut

[lqfiles]

✰ dating na jaemin.

you become his responsibility.

jaemin loves to take care of those he adores, so getting into a relationship with him means that he would do anything for you, literally. you could randomly throw in how you ran out of a perfume you liked and wake up the next morning to a package of the exact same brand, a small note from jaemin attached to it saying he “coincidentally saw it”. he is the type to pull out your chair for you before you could even get near it, and wouldn’t think twice about sacrificing his seat for you if there were none left. he would never let you open the door yourself, instead rushing ahead and pulling it open so you can get in first. the type to tug you closer to prevent anyone from bumping into you. jaemin loves to shower you with acts of service to show you how much he appreciates you.

long phone calls are a MUST.

whenever he has the opportunity to, jaemin doesn’t think twice before dialing your number and calling you. his schedule could be booked and busy, yet he would find a gap somewhere in between it where he could quickly call you, just to tell you he misses you. he anticipates these phone calls, perhaps they’re the highlight of his day. he can’t go a day without at least one call, even if it’s short. they could be the most useless calls, the ones where you just ramble about how you saw some pretty scenery on your way back home, and jaemin would listen to you with a small smile present on his face. the calls could last for hours as he refuses to hang up yet, begging you to stay on the line just for a few more minutes. jaemin enjoys hearing your voice, which is why he always makes sure to call you before he goes to sleep, putting your voice on speaker while he slowly dozes off.

endearingly jealous jaemin.

you would barely be able to tell that jaemin is feeling jealous, it’s almost too unnoticeable. jaemin tries to not get jealous because he doesn’t want to come off as a typical ‘possessive’ and ‘insecure’ boyfriend. still, you’re able to pick up on the force in his smile and his short tense responses. jaemin would reassure you that he is alright, because admitting to being jealous is much more embarrassing to him. it would take a lot of pestering to get him to admit to being jealous, especially if the jealousy formed over something really small such as your friends interacting with you. he’d have a sheepish smile on his face as he tells you that perhaps he felt a bit jealous seeing you get complimented by your other friends, sulking about how he should be the only one who can tell you you’re beautiful. jaemin tends to get jealous over harmless things, but it only reassures you how much he truly likes you (preferably all to himself)

how he asked you out.

it would take jaemin quite a while to admit to himself that he likes you. it’s simply because jaemin is picky with his ideal types and wants to take his time to discover whether the person he plans on pursuing truly fits him like he wants them to. once jaemin assures himself that you’re the one, he’d dwell on how to ask you out. a part of him would want to make it something big, a moment neither of you will forget, and another side of him wants to be casual about it, instead keeping it simple yet sweet. jaemin would opt to go with the fancier route and ask you out to dinner with him. he’d pay for all your meals, compliment you the whole night, and hold your hand while the two of you are walking outside. he’d tug you to the side where it’s just the two of you before admitting his feelings to you in a heartfelt confession. he’d tell you that there is no rush, and how you don’t need to accept it if you don’t reciprocate his feelings (even if that would crush his heart). no worries though, because you’re more than willing to reciprocate those feelings of his and officially becomes his significant other.

kisses.

kissing jaemin would be the epitome of romance. the tingling sensation that travels through your body as he’d place his hand on your jaw, tilting your head to look him right in the eye makes you grow weak. he’d lean in slowly, searching your face for any discomfort and hoping to see the green lights in your eyes. “is this okay?” he’d whisper under his breath, yet you can hear him perfectly. jaemin would wait for you to respond back with words, waiting for consent. and as you give it to him, he slowly craves in and place his lips on yours. the kiss is soft and slow, and you can feel the love emitting into the air. it almost feels like fireworks are exploding in the air as your lips move in synch. kissing jaemin feels like time slows down and it’s just the two of you. you’re not sure how long your lips have been attached for, and you don’t really care either.

#long overdue i missed writing these #NEVER forget my roots (fic writer over smau writer) #i missed writing for jaemin i got carried away with this #jaemin imagines #nct imagines #nct dream imagines #jaemin fluff #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #jaemin x reader #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #jaemin scenarios #nct scenarios #nct dream scenarios #jaemin headcanons #nct headcanons #nct dream headcanons #jaemin reactions #nct reactions #nct dream reactions #jaemin x you #nct x you #nct dream x you #jaemin fanfic #na jaemin imagines

[aesthyuckic]

🩹🎐 ditto!┊͙✧˖*°࿐

inspired by sabrina the teenage witch and ditto by new jeans :) tw: hurt comfort?? word count: 2.25k

“Have you ever been to the North Star?”

“What?” Haechan asked back in response, taking his attention off the vegetables he was cutting in the kitchen. “No, why?”

“Our soul stones reside there.” You shrugged.

He rolled his eyes before he went back to what he was doing, “They should be called twin stones not soul stones. Twin flames are our other halves and soulmates are people we knew in previous lives.”

“Okay, fair but don’t you think they’re interesting?”

You knew he always got upset at the mix up between twin flames and soul stones, it was something you found endearing. Truthfully, you didn’t know until he told it to you and that was another thing you loved about him. He always taught you more which fed your natural curiosity.

“I guess.” He shrugged. “But I’ve had no reason to go there. I’d be testing rocks for hours and I feel like I’d just be disappointed by it.”

“You have no one in mind?” You asked with your chin on your hands as you looked at him from the couch.

“Of course I do.” He responded.

And for some reason, there was a twinge at a few of your heart strings that stung as deeply as the cold. The pain flashed for a moment in your eyes and it was luck for you, his back was to you so it went unnoticed by your friend.

“Why haven’t you gone to test it then?” You inquired further.

“I’m afraid.” He admitted while putting down the knife, the vegetable laid in pieces on the cutting board. “What if they don’t fit together perfectly like they’re meant to?”

“Then there’s someone else that you’re meant to be with.” You answered rather gleefully.

“I don’t think I’d like to know that. I rather live in a blissful state of what could be. Why do you want to go so bad?”

“I know you’re smart, Hyuck. It’s because I have someone in mind. Duh!”

You fell back on the couch as he was prepping the food once more. There was that twinge again, only not in your heart but his own. The sound of the knife hitting the board cease for a moment before it began again.

He didn’t like the idea much like you didn’t either of having people in your lives that you hadn’t mentioned to one another. You’re meant to be best friends but best friends tell each other about the people you’re interested in. Neither of you had mentioned that person in passing with one another. The both of hadn’t assumed that it had been for good reasons.

The hurt subsided but lingered in the quietness of the room. It became heavy and overwhelming. You shot up from the couch.

“We should go together.” You suggested.

Before he could say anything, you were up and dragging him out of the kitchen by his wrist.

“The food!” Haechan pointed out.

“It’s be here when we get back.” You said, swiftly.

“The stones will still be there after we eat!” He whined.

“You know how when I want to do something, nothing else matters until I do the thing I want. It’ll be quick, promise.”

He couldn’t say no to you. It was impossible whether it was because you made him too weak to do so or because you were too stubborn to get your own way. You were already up the stairs to your linen closet, intent on where to go with the boy tailing behind you. As soon as the door slammed behind the both of you. A flash of mist and light engulf you for only a moment to reveal the change of location. Everything around you was various shades of glowing blue, most notably a periwinkle color. Shards of crystal surrounded the both of you, multiple halves of stones were cascaded through out the labyrinth of the star.

The grip on his wrist loosen as you looked around, confused. The boy seemed lost as well.

“How are we going to find the stones?” He mumbled.

He strayed from you while he avoided the sharpen formations as he walked around to look at the countless stones.

“Haechan-“ You called.

It was no use though, he was already around the corner of the wall. You don’t even think he heard you which you rolled your eyes at before turning around. As soon as you turned, a shard suddenly popped up out of the ground startling a brief scream and a rapidly beating heart from you. It spoke to you.

“Welcome to North Star system. How may I help you?” It said, robotically, indicating it was an automated system.

“Are you okay?!” Haechan yelled, a hint of worry in his voice.

“I’m fine!” You answered. “I thought… I saw a bug or something… Have you found anything?”

“Not yet!” He shouted. “I’ll let you know if I do.”

There was relief in you when you heard his footsteps start again and get farther from you. You bent down slightly to say your full name into the point of the shard. You looked behind you one last time before going back to quickly add another.

“And Lee Donghyuck.” You whispered.

It was silent for a second. Nothing moved and you began to wonder if it has heard you. Then the frustration and disappointment came to set in as everything stayed the same. Out of nowhere, a circular block of clear crystal came up from the ground with two blue boxes sat next to each other. The shard in front of you disappeared into the ground once more to reveal a path toward what you sought after.

Frozen in place, a moment you had dreamed and thought about since you found about the North Star was presented right in front of you. Fear replace the frustration you felt prior. Did you really want to know? There was a dilemma in you and felt like a hypocrite to the words you spoke earlier to your friend.

Hesitantly, you stepped forward and approached the pedestal. You went with the box on your left first and opened it to reveal one half. It glowed in your palm and a moving image of you appeared in it. You did the same with second box, it glowed in your other palm and Donghyuck appeared in. You smiled at it, rubbing your thumb over the cool surface of his stone. The question arose again, did you really want to know? Of course you did. You found yourself moving the two halves closer together. Time seemed to only slow down the closer they got to each other as a breath got caught in your throat. Only a few more centimeters…

“What are you doing?” A voice rang in your ear, breath fanning your hair.

You were frozen in place as everything stopped. It was unclear if he was angry or not because he most certainly could see the little image of him moving in the confines of the rock. You turned around rather quickly, quivering before him.

Haechan didn’t look angry but the tone was not as sweet and soft as usual which set something off in you. Uncontrollably, tears started to form in your eyes. You tried to blink them away but it only seemed to encourage them as they started to fall down your cheeks and fogged up your vision.

His stone fell to the floor while you kept the grip on your own so much tighter. His gaze seemed to soften at your reaction. You back away from him in an attempt to find a wall you could disappear into. It was not worth an attempt as you were too weak to actually use your own magic in that moment and you found yourself sinking into a ball against the barrier. You hid your tear stained face in your arms so you couldn’t see him pick up the stone and put in his pocket. He came running and dropped to your side within seconds of it.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He reassured, the soft and sweet tone was back with a hint of huskiness to it. “If crying makes you feel better, that’s fine but if you’re crying because you think I’m upset, please don’t do that… I’m not.”

He hated that he was reason behind your tears. Maybe it wouldn’t just been better if he had shut up and walked away. He wrapped an arm around you, gently to not startle you. He could feel you shake. He frowned at himself. Like he deserved to have his soul stone fit yours. You peeked up from your arms, eyes red with tears threatening to spill once more.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized. “I know I ruined everything.”

You referred to the friendship and shook his head rather quickly after your words, “No, don’t do that. I fucked up I should’ve just… not pulled that bullshit. I’m sorry… I just wanted to show you something cool I found out about the stones. You didn’t ruin anything.”

Not anything he didn’t want ‘ruined’ anyway. Haechan stroked your hair with a sweet but apologetic smile in an effort to comfort you. It took everything in him to not verbalize the confession sitting on the tip of his tongue. His arm left your shoulder only to go to your hand. Warmth encapsulated your own as he kept a firm grip on it. His other hand left your hair to pull out the stone from his pocket.

“You wanted to know, right?” He cooed as he held it out between the two of you.

The tears stopped and you regained your composure. Your grip loosened on your own stone as you brought it up to match his. Instead of centimeters, it was inches apart. Both you seemed rather hesitant to bring them closer to one another.

“Now or never?” He murmured.

You looked each other in the eyes. A softness and a type of vulnerability could be seen. You nodded at him before you turned your attention back to scene in front of you two. The stones stayed lit in both of your hands are moved to fit them together. It seemed to take ages for them to connect but in the final second it felt like it fused together like magnets would. A burst of light came as soon as the stones touched. You squinted your eyes from the sudden light that dissipated after a moment.

Then there you two were, in the stone, coming together across the boundary of the crack of each to meet in the middle for a kiss. Seeing it made the apples of your cheeks heat up and then you heard a laugh in your ear.

“What?” You asked. “Why are you laughing?”

“I was afraid for nothing.” He smiled before looking up at you.

“I was the one you had in mind?!” You exclaimed as you shoved his shoulder, playfully.

“I know you can be a bit air-headed at times but you can’t possibly be this dumb…”

“You’re a big dummy too if we’re going to talk about it.”

“We’re not.”

You couldn’t ask him what he meant before his hands were on your waist pulling you into his body. The completed soul stone went flying out of your hands at the movement, sliding across the floor. It made you gasp, yet they stuck to each other like glue.

“That’s the thing I wanted to tell you.” He whispered in your ear while a hand reached up to move a few standards of hair out of your face. “Once they’re together, they can’t be separated.”

His hand came down to caress the side of your face and pull you back to look at him. Your heart started to race just looking at him in the eye now, knowing his feelings. The silence was no longer awkward but suffocating.

“You’ll have to stop me now if you don’t want me to kiss you.” He confessed.

“I can’t.” You admitted.

You moved forward, closing the tension filled gap between the two of you similarly to the soul stones. The suffocating feeling was gone and you felt like you breath again. So full of passion and lost in it, you let out a sigh that had Haechan smiling into the kiss. Your hand went to the back of his neck in effort to bring him closer and deepen the kiss. His body now has you pinned against the fall. It would’ve continued if he hadn’t had to come up to breath for a moment. He stayed so close in front of you, looking down at your lips.

“We might be here longer than anticipated.” He laughed, smugly.

“We can’t.” You blushed. “If people show up and find us making out on the floor I’d be mortified…”

“I’m sure it happens here all the time with the other witches and warlocks.” He replied. “With far worse acts if I’m being honest.”

His words resulted in him getting smacked on the shoulder once more. He played hurt as he rubbed his shoulder.

“Okay, I won’t kiss you ever again.” He lied as he went to turn away.

You responded by yanking him back by the collar of his coat. His lips were against yours once more as now hovered over you. One hand supported himself over you while the other came up to zap you out of there. Whatever you wanted was what he wanted at the end of day.

not proodfread. aesthyuckic ©️ 2024. all rights reserved.

#idk… it’s been too long and this has been in my drafts too long #its 1am and all my skills went out the window im so sorry #haechan fluff #haechan fics #haechan scenarios #nct haechan #haechan x reader #haechan fic #haechan fanfiction #haechan au #haechan imagines #nct fluff #haechan fanfic #haechan imagine #nct fics #nct au #nct dream au #haechan #lee donghyuck #nct dream imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct imagines #nct imagine #nct 127 au #nct 127 fanfic #nct dream fanfic #nct dream fics #nct 127 fic #nct 127 fluff #haechan angst

[leejenowrld]

yn and jeno, what’s a fun fact about each other?

jeno – yn loves it when i play with her nipples and boobs. sexually and non sexually. she’ll give me the look and then sighs in relief once i take her shirt off and rub my thumb over her nipple, i move slowly, back and forth, circling the skin, relishing in her moans of my name and sighs of satisfaction. she tells me it gives her a chill through her body and makes her feel warm and fuzzy inside. sexually, i suck. i bite. my mouth latches around her nipple and i’m sucking on it like i’m eating her pussy, my lips don’t stop, i leave marks and i bite. i make her cum just like that, she’s pulled my hair out before whilst i suck her titties. by the way, i always kiss her boobs, i also have names for them ;) i love kissing her boobs so much, whether it’s sexually or non sexually. i’ve had my face stuffed in her chest before and i just stay there, i love being there, i’ve had naps with my head against her tits before. she once said that she she wishes she found a way for me to lick off all of my cum from her boobs but she was confused on how it would work. i was like baby girl… i can do anything for you. i made her cum all over my cock and then i fucked her boobs, my cock moving in the dip, her cum moving to her tits. i will never forget the sight of my cock reaching up to her hairline. i put her cum from my cock on her boobs and then i sucked and licked it all off. and then we did it again for a second time and this time it was my cum on her boobs. i dragged it up with my cock and made her have every last drop

yn - jeno spits all over me. on my pussy when he’s eating me out, in my mouth, all over my body. he’ll silently move to my jaw and open my mouth and spit in me. he also cums wherever he wants, it’s my treat when it’s in my mouth. but he’s also cummed over every inch of my face, in my pussy, on my boobs, on my stomach, on my thighs, on my ass cheeks. ooh! have i ever told you the times where he’s eaten my ass out? he wipes it clean 🥵

jeno - not that it’s even dirty to begin with you dumbass

#no regret about jenos being so long #it was natural lmao #jeno smut #jeno x reader #jeno fluff #nct jeno #nct dream jeno #jeno #nct #nct dream #fic my first and last #jeno angst #jeno moodboard #jeno imagines #lee jeno #jeno icons #nct lee jeno #nct reactions #nct u #nct imagines #nct smut #nct scenarios #nct icons #nct x reader #mfal:ask jeno #mfal:ask yn #fic:mfal #mfal:jeno #mfal:yn #mfal:facts

[dropsofletters]

people you know to people you don’t

summary: she’s a believer that love will be found in unknown fairytales, men who sweet talk and mysterious, unknown situationships. nonetheless, it’d a surprise for her if she was told that lee donghyuck, her best friend’s little cousin could be a possibility.

i mean...he is only her annoying friend, isn’t he? it couldn’t lead anywhere else. ever. 

title: people you know to people you don’t. pairing: lee donghyuck x reader (ft. nakamoto yuta x reader) type: childhood friends to idiots to lovers!au ; lovers to exes!au ; slowburn!au ; small town!au ; cousin’s best friend!au ; drummer!haechan ; twitch gamer!yuta ; law student!oc ; just lots and lots of backstory, deal with it. word count: 15k words, i’m sorry. genre: fluff ; slice of life ; angst ; drama ; humor ; suggestive content note: this was the result of a poll i did late february on this blog. keep your eyes open for more polls.

DONGHYUCK’S LAMEST SUMMER: SEVEN YEARS AGO.

She’d write it in a book if she could. Yangyang’s laughter was the perfect epitome of an onomatopoeia. Ha-Ha-Ha in its purest form, with tears rolling down his eyes and his head tossed back as Eunbyul catches him just in time before he falls down the blue plastic chair he dragged in front of the computer.

What they were supposed to be doing was writing a geography project about Japan, the place they picked to talk about, and its cultural richness. Yangyang said they could talk about anime, and she shrugged it off before they came across with the file. Actually, she’d capitalize it. The File. As in, The X Files. As in, Donghyuck’s societal death.

In all honesty, when Yangyang saw a file titled ‘For The Tube’, he could have ignored it. Could have, should have. But from what she knows about her two best friends is that Yangyang can’t stay still for once and Eunbyul follows after his every word. Blame it on the obvious relationship that they try to hide from her and her clammy hands whenever he does so much as smile to her girl best friend, but that’s a story for another time.

Using Eunbyul’s little cousin’s laptop was one thing. Eunbyul’s mother had filed for divorce against her father and they had stayed over at Donghyuck’s house for the past year, with the excuse of going away once things started looking up for Mrs. Lee. They don’t seem to be doing so any time soon, so they got to meet Eunbyul the latest school year. They quickly became close, and met Donghyuck along the way. That didn’t mean they had any right to look around his stuff.

Yangyang didn’t listen to her, and while she expected to see huge tits and piles of porn, this was much worse. Come on, he’s fifteen, it would have been better if he was just searching for boobs online.

It was Donghyuck’s music career in just one file, and she had heard him sing in the shower once. During February, when she had forgotten her purse in Eunbyul’s bathroom and she had flown back inside to pick it up before they went to the mall, only to apologize once she walked in as Donghyuck shrieked after being cut off from his singing. She apologized, but that redemption of Maroon 5’s ‘This Love’ was actually pretty darn good.

He’s a singer, perhaps a dancer though she hasn’t seen it. He’s not a rapper, by any means, considering that he’s standing in front of his phone’s camera, with a hoodie on top of a cap he has pulled back, his black bangs standing through the slit, with clothes too big while he is rapping to Vanilla Ice’s ‘Ice, Ice Baby.’

Badly. Oh God, what was Donghyuck thinking exactly?

Then, he started popping and that’s when Yangyang actually lost it.

“Okay, I gotta tell him. I can’t die with this in my chest.” Yangyang stands up, consequently making Eunbyul trip onto her chair as she stares at him with wide eyes.

“Tell him what?” His two friends, or childhood best friend and girlfriend, say in unison while looking at him. For someone as lanky and quite possibly stupidly confident as him, Yangyang liked living his life with the thrill of being a bit of an asshole. A heartfelt asshole, with a good soul right at the center of his chest, but still one.

“That we have a new nickname for him.”

The worst part of being friends with Yangyang (he’s good, mostly, she has cried watching The Notebook with him, so she knows he’s soft at the core) is that they are included in whatever trouble he gets into. So, when he rushes out of Eunbyul’s room, they go after him. The house is not that big, so the white and black kitchen in which Donghyuck is in. He’s holding a bag of cheerios upside town trying to pour the last few bits that are more like dust into a milky plate when Yangyang says it.

“What’s up, Vanilla Ice?”

Donghyuck’s right eyebrows moves the slightest, like a tick of some sort. He looks up at Yangyang, trying to play it off as confusion while he lays most of his body on the counter. His small chest is pushed forward, dark bangs falling on his forehead. “Yangyang, we all know that you’ll eventually end up being a junkie somewhere downtown, but what kind of weed are you on?”

Straight-on, and Eunbyul is about to open her mouth to defend Yangyang (again, the whole dating-not-dating thing is quite obvious at this point), when the man himself makes it worse. “I don’t know, you tell me, is it a totally sober decision to record yourself rapping? Because if so, whew, even I make better decisions than you, Vanilla Ice.”

Never had she seen Donghyuck move so quickly, and that comes from the man that every PE teacher complains about because he never wants to do much other than gossip by the bleachers. Now, he’s face to face with his cousin. “You looked through my stuff!”

“Just say that Yangyang did.” She mumbles, but Eunbyul completely ignores her.

“We just clicked on it accidentally!”

“It could have been something private!”

“Oh, trust me,” Once again, she’s speaking softly, and maybe she should stop doing it because Donghyuck’s now frowning at her. “It would have been better if it was your stack of porn.”

“Get over it.” Eunbyul’s trying to play the tough girl card, probably to defend Yangyang, as she crosses her arms over her chest. “Vanilla Ice.”

Now, she’s not vanilla ice, but she’s cheerios with milk with how Donghyuck pours his whole bowl of breakfast on her head. Eunbyul does so much as scream before Donghyuck stomps away from the kitchen. In all honesty, she would have loved to go after him and tell him that it’s just another stupid nickname from good-old-dumb Yangyang.

But, in all honesty, all those years after which she got to further know Donghyuck, everyone in her friend-group called him Vanilla Ice, so some decisions are taken by life itself.

SUMMERS ARE EVEN WORSE WHEN YOU ARE IN COLLEGE. TWO YEARS AGO.

Alright, so twenty-one sucks. Her two best friends had just broken-up for the first time in what seems like forever and now she’s stuck in a beach party with Yangyang, smelling like greasy hot dogs with corn and wearing a tank top over a bikini top that truthfully looked better online than it did on her chest. Those boobs aren’t for that top, that’s for sure.

At twenty-one, she imagined she’d be a little adult just flickering her way through the pages of life. It’d be like a math problem that she had solved on her first day of school and never found much complexity in it. Only that life is much harder than she imagined, both socially, mentally and economically. Eunbyul and she had eaten hot-spicy ramen as cookies instead of boiling it because they didn’t have any water these days, and that’s enough on economy.

The crisp air bites at her shoulders, leaning the side of her body against Yangyang’s shoulder. One of his hands is up, the other clinging onto a beer bottle, while both of her hands are up. Seven fingers up, bathed in the glow of the bonfire in front of her, only putting the two fingers left on her second hand down when she grabs the third hot-dog of the night and bites into it. She sees her ex staring at her lips briefly, and soon after, he returns his gaze to the other people around them.

Felix was a good start for last October. She almost thought that he could be the one. Four dates and daily texts for four whole months and then, it was over just like how it started. Nothing more than a few kisses and lingering touches happened, if she’s not counting the promises he sputtered. However, the long strands of his blonde hair and his rosy lips still haunt her to this day, because there is some anger that lingers within her.

The loss of time, perhaps, or the fact that he dignified a lot of firsts for her. Her first midnight call which lasted more than five hours. Her first sneaking out experience. Her first make-out in an empty cinema. He felt like forever and would never, ever be the same in her head. Not when he admitted to a few of their mutual friends that he just wanted to test the waters with her and then, it got deeper than what they could both control. Hence, he cut it off.

Oh, and being an experiment is what drives her insane, because she has seven fingers up and he has only two left. He’s clearly more experienced than she is. Must have a laugh remembering the little they did.

Because Yangyang has put a finger down about skinny dipping, and more than half of the circle put another down when talking about weed, but each and every single nasty question is met with silence from her. Even her questions are stupid. Never have I ever hidden alcohol from my parents. Never had I ever had a crush on a neighbor. They all put it down, not her.

What does it for her is when Felix, in all his confident glory of being a guy…because that’s what guys at twenty-one are, just fucking dudes trying to play themselves off as gentlemen, is when with a smug grin he asks, leaning back on the log that is behind him, the flannel of his shirt extending around his slim waist.

“Never have I ever had sex at a party.”

She puts a finger down when his deep-brown eyes lay on her. Just to spite him, as if to tell him that there was someone else after him. He knows that she hasn’t done much with anybody; being him whom she got farther with and it was a hand down his pants before she said she wasn’t ready. He respected it and she respects all the shades of red that take over his face when he looks at her hand.

Because she’s pretending as if she’s not a virgin just to get back to her ex and that’s…magical.

After that round is over, two more questions erase Felix and another girl from the circle, but Yangyang leans to her side, whispering into her ear: “What was that whole stare-off with Felix?”

“He’s trying to get at me.”

“He’s just drunk and playing a game.”

“Well, it looks like a fucking dare. He keeps laughing with his friends that I have two hands up.”

Yangyang doesn’t roll his eyes, because he may be a douchebag to most people, but like she has always said, there is a reason why she is friends with Yangyang. Instead, he inspects her features and just then, she realizes the trembling of her hands, the pattering of her heart, the shame. Yes, shame, because that is what women are brought to when they are young. Feeling ashamed that they trusted a man that didn’t love them as they should have. The inept nature of them is blamed on who loves the hardest.

“Fuck him, but the best way to say fuck him is by showing him just how good you are on your own while also staying true to yourself.” Yangyang speaks the truth, and maybe if her bikini wasn’t so uncomfortable and if she didn’t still have sand up her shorts from the dive she had in the afternoon, she’d listen to him. Tonight, at eleven, is not the night that she’s going to finally hear to Yangyang’s rare wise words.

“The best way to taint a man’s ego is to make him feel like I’ve met someone whose dick is finally interesting enough for me to get farther than with other men.”

“No.”

“Yangyang, think about it. The thought of Eunbyul being with someone else, and hey, I’m not saying feelings are involved or not, that’s none of my business…” She trails her voice, elbowing his side and making a bit of his new beer bottle spill. “Makes you heat up a little bit, doesn’t it?”

“That’s different, we actually had a relationship.” Yangyang takes a gulp of his beer bottle. “You are always stuck in situationships.”

“No man ever wants to be serious with me.”

“Because you stay with them even when they give you a thousand red flags.”

“Name a man with no red flags.”

“Uh…me?”

“Yangyang, you’re a walking red flag.”

“I’m a nice magenta shade, mind you.” She stands up at that moment, because she has only had pineapple juice in exponential amounts and hot dogs, but it’s starting to get to her bladder. Placing a hand on his shoulder, she tells him she’ll be back in ten minutes and soon after, she ventures into the world of Aida’s household.

She doesn’t pay much attention to the bamboo walls or the pretty fountain in the middle. She’s off to the bathroom and finishing her business quickly, only to be stopped when she’s stepping out and wiping her hands on her tank top. Felix stands in front of her, with the same round eyes that last year had told her that she deserved nothing but the best, lips plumper thanks to the alcohol, voice as deep as she remembered it.

“...I didn’t know you had met someone else after me.” Felix utters, though he’s drunk and oozes alcohol, dozing off on his own thoughts. “You told me you had never slept with someone before. How…? Who…? Who changed that?”

There it is. The ego, the intrigue, just what she wanted. To have him thinking of her even a miniscule second, because she sure as hell spent nights crying about what they never were. Only that the simplest answer is, of course:

“None of your business, Felix.”

“I know, God, I know…” Voice growing decibels deeper, he leans back on the wall in front of the bathroom before huffing loudly. “I’m just…have you met someone else? Is it Yangyang? You always told me you and Yangyang were never a thing.”

“And we weren’t! We aren’t!”

“Then…?”

Timing is always wrong when it comes to these kinds of situations. Or a bit right, even. The hallway is empty enough for it not to seem like a coincidence when Donghyuck slips into it, looking down at his phone and drumming with his free hand on his jean-cladded thigh, but when both Felix and herself look at him, it’s like it clicks on her head.

“It’s Donghyuck.”

That’s an answer for Felix, but the confused cousin of her best friend can only answer. “...Yeah, it’s me? Hi. That is my name.”

Bingo.

Donghyuck had grown a bit in his twenties. His hair had gone through a few changes, but now he’s back to pitch black, slicked back, matching the hoodie he has under his jean jacket that reads ‘The Misfits’ in the background. Not that they go along with the khakis he brought to this party, but he makes it work. His cheeks were as round as ever, but paired with a sleek jaw and interestingly relaxed eyes. Being part of a band definitely did him good.

The band started over two years ago; she remembers his debut was during Donghyuck’s prom, which she had attended with him just because he didn’t want to pursue the whole ritual of inviting someone whom he was dating. They never talked, but she got to see him behind the drums. The Dry Flower included Donghyuck as the drummer and some of his friends. Renjun is the singer, though she hasn’t talked much to him. Niamh on the guitar and Jooyeon as the bassist.

They play a few gigs here and there, as far as she hears from Eunbyul, but after she moved out of his place, she only sees Donghyuck at very special events. Like parties, as this one.

“I, uh, you two know each other?” Felix asks and Donghyuck doesn’t look at him like he’s the most interesting person in this world. In fact, he looks a bit bored.

“Yes.” They reply in unison, though Donghyuck keeps walking towards one of the rooms, only to leave her there with Felix.

A few beads of silence pass by like the sweat pooling on her forehead, leaning back and forth on her boots before Felix clears his throat.

“You two are dating, I imagine.”

No. For the love of God, she wouldn’t date Vanilla Ice. Not because he’s not handsome, but there has never been that chemistry between the two. Like two logs staring at each other in the middle of a lake.

“Yes, so if you’ll excuse me…” What is she supposed to say here? I’m going to have sex with Donghyuck now, let me be?

She doesn’t say much more, turning around and trying her hardest not to run inside the room like a madwoman. She opens the door and closes it behind her with a soft thud, but the sigh that she lets out and the following gasp is enough of an answer for her that this lie won’t be easy to keep.

The hoodie that Donghyuck had been wearing is forgotten on the floor for a second before he’s pulling it up to his chest to cover his body. Glowing tanned skin is barely visible under the dim lights of the guest room that they are probably in, but just before Donghyuck can scream at her about what she’s doing there, she rushes to the top of the bed, splaying a hand on his mouth and speaking a little too close to his face.

“Vanilla Ice, I know you don’t necessarily like me and that we aren’t really friends, but if I asked you for one big favor including you not screaming after I pull my hand off, would you do it?”

Donghyuck doesn’t like cooperating, that’s for sure, and when he sticks his tongue out, she doesn’t relent. His eyes squint, grabbing her wrist and pulling her hand off his mouth before speaking softly. “Explain in a sentence that doesn’t excuse yourself and I’ll think about this favor. You’re…suspicious.”

“What would you think if I accidentally linked you with me?”

“I asked for an explanation, not a question.”

She places her hands on her knees, ignoring the fact that it’s weird that she’s with Eunbyul’s cousin in an empty room, on her knees, standing in front of him as he’s shirtless. Nothing sexual about this, though.

“I may have lied to my ex…situationship.” She answers, looking to the side and inspecting Aida’s guest room, that might as well be empty and yet, still feel cramped and humid. She doesn’t like lying and the anxiety that comes with it. “Felix finds it glorious that I haven’t had much of a dating life after him. Or any dating life, whatsoever. So, while we were playing ‘Never Have I Ever’, I made it seem like I had sex after him. Hence, he was asking me whom I was sleeping with, you just popped inside the room and then…”

Donghyuck presses his lips together before sighing. “You…I was just trying to sleep after drinking and you got me in this kind of trouble?!” He whispers-yells before plopping himself next to her. He lets the hoodie pool on his lap, completely forgetting to cover himself and from her peripheral, Donghyuck is soft in all the perfect ways. “Felix is an asshole if he is pissed off about that, you know that, right? You slept with him, then with someone else. It’s called the cycle of life.”

She toys with the ripped edges of her shorts, playing with her bottom lip before dramatically throwing herself backwards on the bed. “That’s what you don’t get, Vanilla Ice.”

He doesn’t relent about the name like he did years before, instead asking: “I don’t get what isn’t explained to me. I’m a genius, but not like all the fucking time.”

Looking at the dark ceiling, all the bundled up emotions come into confusion for her. Because yes, she feels at ease with not doing anything more than just touching, but at the same time…she wouldn’t mind people believing otherwise so they would just get off her back and ignore the obvious heartbreak that came with her thing with Felix.

“I’m a virgin.” She confesses, rolling her eyes. “And you can laugh at me all you want. I just want people to believe I’m not; not because I’m ashamed, but because that’s the only way you can poke fun at assholes. Make them believe that there was someone much better than them that did get into your pants and they didn’t. It’s silly, immature, all of that, yes Donghyuck, I know-”

“Uh-huh, go on.”

“This is when you stop me.”

“No, I want you to think about what you’re doing.”

She turns around, only to see that he had laid down as well, staring at where she had been looking before. “I’m a stupid virgin that still has some resentment about the fact that her first love was someone who never really loved her to start with.”

Donghyuck stays silent for a few seconds, turning to look at her and quirking an eyebrow. That small tick that she always noticed on him. “Felix is an asshole. An asshole who will always win no matter what you do. He will get good money, a happy family, and also be the popular dad in the block. That’s who he is. You didn’t shape or change him, but him not being yours was of help for your future, even if it doesn’t look like it.”

“Yeah…” She mumbles. “I’m sorry for threading you in all of this.”

“Fuck yes, but here’s what we’re going to do.” Donghyuck puts his hoodie on, rubbing at his tired eyes and sighing deeply. “I’ll drunkenly step out to the party, because you’ve sobered me up with this whole plan, and I’ll say some stupid comment about-”

“No.”

“What?”

“You’re not making sexual comments about me.”

“I can say your ass is nice or something like that. I promise it won’t be like the worst shit.”

“How about this? We can go about this silently and keep your feminist reputation intact.” Donghyuck’s lips quiver up the slightest at that. That may be a smile, but when she stands up and states her plan to him, he loses that smile. “I give you my bikini bottom and you put in in your pocket. Ask one of the gossipers to take care of your jacket and boom, they find the pair of panties and-”

“Ew!”

“Donghyuck, they are used panties, but I’ll buy you another jacket, I promise. You won’t even have to touch them.”

“That’s…how do you even come up with these things?”

“Some guys keep memories of who they slept with.”

“I am not one of those guys.”

She picks up his jacket from the floor and then, struts towards the bathroom, hearing Donghyuck’s complaints and steps behind her.

The party ends up with Donghyuck leaving his jacket with Soohyun, the nursing student that no one tells their secrets to and yet, she’s aware of everything, before he’s off to sleep the drunkenness off. She’s with Yangyang, asking him for his jacket to wrap around her hips when she says:

“Donghyuck is a panties-collector! Who is wearing a yellow bikini in this place?” Soohyun’s voice lingers with mischief and when her sharp eyes settle on her body, she knows the dots have been connected.

Now, Donghyuck will be marked as the hook up that got her to forget about Lee Felix.

LIFE DOESN'T GET ANY EASIER, AND ADULTHOOD FEELS LIKE CLOSURE. THE PRESENT.

She would have never realized that what she just had was  a dream. The confession from Henry Cavill himself as he sputtered out his apologies for a fake love was quite frankly accompanied with a warmth that she would have loved to hold onto. Nonetheless, it seems like the moment with the actor is cut short when she feels a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist, belonging to the shaking shoulders that hug her from behind.

Eunbyul had moved in with her all those years before she had broken up with Yangyang and she had been quick to change places so it would only be the two of them as roomies. It felt rather odd, if she was honest. Eunbyul had always lived in a relationship, sharing houses with Yangyang from the moment they all graduated high school, but having her best friend by her side was always a good thing to wake up to.

Now, their friendship is not precisely any closer because of this. Law school involves a lot of hardships and while both her and Yangyang continued down this path, Eunbyul didn't. She married the idea of having her own bakery and now, she owns a little boutique bakery downtown, which has a few clients, if she does say so herself. They don't spend much time together, and she definitely doesn't slip into her covers like this.

"Byul…" She trails, sleepily patting a hand around until she finds Eunbyul's shoulder. She pulls her closer, resting her chin on the top of her friend's dyed light brown hair. "What's the matter?"

"Yangyang texted me." Her shoulders shake even more with every weep she lets out, and while she knows that Eunbyul's chubby body emanates warmth, her heart has been cold for plenty of years. "...I…He said he could only see himself with me. Why does he do this? It's like I can't ever get over him."

They are both her friends, and that makes it a little difficult to be opinionated. She knows both of them were faithful to their relationship. As a matter of fact, she thought they would be forever, one of those stories that one would hear in upbeat songs on the radio.

"...You two were great together, Byul, and I do believe in returning to a place if you recognize a little too late that it was your home."

"It's just…how does he know I am his home?" That question is whispered between them. "He has never had anything else. Anyone else. How will we know if…if he won't want to be with someone else later on or sleep with someone else or…?"

"All valid questions to be asked in a relationship." She prompts, sighing deeply and letting the tips of her fingers play with the curls of her friend's hair. "But those doubts will come with any man that decides to settle down with you. Regardless of him being Yangyang or not."

"I know."

"Then, if Yangyang has always felt like the one, why not try it with him whom you have a bunch of history with and apart from that, he actually really wants to be with you?"

"I broke up with him so he would be with other people and realize that he didn't just want me."

Okay, she should not have scoffed, but she did. Eunbyul is perhaps the biggest romance enthusiast she knows and then, she dares say shit like this. "Said no one ever."

"Hey!"

"Eunbyul, who the fuck wants the love of their life to sleep with someone else?"

"Me!"

"Cuck alert."

A smack lands on her chest and she hisses when Eunbyul accidentally hits her boob. "That's the main reason why you are single."

"Out of many others." She answers, only to have Eunbyul sigh.

"I love him." Those words would be nice to hear. At times, she wonders why she has never been loved. Is it her personality, her immense will and need to be successful? Is it the throbbing of her heart that falls a little too fast? She would never know.

But at this age, very close to being a lawyer, she would have imagined that she would have been loved.

"I know you do."

"It's been two years and I can't get rid of that."

"How do you un-fall in love with someone who did no wrong? That is just nonsense, you."

Eunbyul groans, pushing her body upwards before sighing. "Is 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?' on Netflix?"

"Doubt so."

"We are illegally downloading it and sighing over Matthew. Alright? Alright. Movie night."

That is how she spent the entirety of her midnight watching rom-coms with Eunbyul instead of sleeping before a grand presentation.

"Donghyuck," His mom mumbles from her spot at the counter, head hanging low and fat tears falling onto the marble surface. "My God, my son…I just want you to have a secure future and you continue with 'The Dry Flower'. You won't have anything to eat one of these days!"

It hurts him to see his mom like this. For all he knows, he wishes he could go back to when he was seven and his mom would clap for him, cheering him on for a dream that she’s entirely against as of now. It’s complicated, wanting a hug so badly but also having to defend his dream. Surely, he won’t be the most well-known drummer to date, but he will mean something.

“Mom, I promise it won’t get that bad. You know how I am, I…”

“That’s the thing! Life is not about how you are, or how you think you are, it’s about what you do so you don’t go through hardships. It’s about being smart!” She rubs at her face with pent-up frustration and Donghyuck sighs deeply, placing his hands on the edge of the counter to stop himself from hugging her.

“I know, but I can’t be smart and unhappy.”

“Happiness is fluctuant, Donghyuck. You can’t be happy all the time and on the long run, this won’t make you happy.”

“How do I know if I don’t try? I’m sorry, okay?! So fucking sorry that I didn’t go to college like all of my younger siblings. I wish I could have been a doctor or a lawyer or a teacher, but I can’t. For the life of me, I can’t simply not try.” Donghyuck answers, hating the raspiness of his voice and the knot that grows on his throat. He looks to the side to stop the tears from falling, but they burn at his bottom lashes. “I’m sorry. I…I promise I will find a place soon and if I eat or don’t won’t be any of your business.”

“It will always be my business!” His mom replies. “Donghyuck, you have a way of making things sound like you’re going to die tomorrow. You can do the whole drumming thing on the side and go back to school.”

“I’m not book-smart.”

“To get a degree, you have to have the wits, and you’ve got them, honey.”

“...I don’t want to, mom, okay? I don’t.” He responds, opening the fridge and picking up the bag of pastries he had bought for his girlfriend. He stands by her side, watching how older she had gotten, a few wrinkles appearing on her face, wearing bigger clothes and tighter feelings. His plump lips spread on her temple, sighing deeply. “I’m sorry.”

He doesn’t say that he loves her, but he does. Instead, he gets on his bicycle, hoping for a miracle.

Hoping to be somebody so all of this could change.

Youth was supposed to be easier, wasn’t it?

Mr. Montero will have her head, fry it and then kick her out of law school. Yes, she’s claiming it, and yes, she’s also one step from doing the same with Eunbyul after she left her car-less (because, for some reason, Eunbyul can’t make a decision for the life of her but she can surely grab her car at five in the morning to go meet up with Yangyang). That was four hours ago, she’s running forty-five minutes late and Eunbyul isn’t picking up her phone.

Not that she’s angry that her friend is getting laid, but still.

The thing about small towns is that it’s a little difficult to get a ride. Taxis and their high prices leave more than just a few college students grabbing the bus, who is also extremely late, and she’s tired of waiting. She tried walking there, but the heels she opted to use for her presentation (against her will, but Mr. Montero and his oh-so-wise-mind says that law students should look their best always) dig into her soles and leave her begging to rub cream on the blisters appearing on the skin. Hence, she’s crying a little bit and almost cries a little louder when she sees a familiar face from afar.

Lee Donghyuck had never made her feel so relieved to look at somebody. In fact, she rushes after that bicycle, screaming his name until he comes to a halt. Drenched in a beige hoodie that is probably too thick for today’s weather, he lets his foot step on the concrete before he looks over his shoulder. He doesn’t look as relaxed and uninterested in the world around him as he usually does, instead widening his eyes when he sees the tears that bathe her face.

“Is everything alright?”

She could have asked, but she stands in the back of the bicycle, hoisting herself up in a way that she’s half-sitting on his seat and holding onto the hood of his shirt before deciding to wrap her arms around his waist. “I have a huge presentation that is worth twenty percent of my grade and I’m not exactly passing this class, so if you drive me there, Donghyuck, I swear I will never bother you again.”

He blows a small fraction of air that moves his disheveled bangs away from his face before he makes up his mind. “It’s what you always say and you always come up with something new.”

But he starts moving with will, and she has to accommodate her body so her chest is not squished to his back. It’s not like she wants Donghyuck to feel her body pressing up against him. “Eunbyul decided that stealing my car was a good idea.”

“Eunbyul?” Donghyuck questions, shaking his head. “I’ve never seen Eunbyul do anything even remotely bad.”

“You don’t know her. Put Yangyang in the fraction and she’ll do just about anything, Vanilla Ice.”

“And here I was thinking that since you called me Donghyuck before, we’d be skipping the nickname.”

The air blows at the strands of hair that she had worked so hard on brushing, but it seems like this day is not at her mercy. She stares at the rays of sunshine that fall on Donghyuck’s chiseled cheekbones; he looks rather great today, but just when she’s about to reach for one of the pastries hanging from the bicycle’s handle, he clicks his tongue.

“Not for you.”

“I haven’t had any breakfast?”

“So?” He replies with the same condescending tone before sighing. “I’m…It’s my first month anniversary with my girlfriend, Yejin. Those are for her.”

She furrowed her eyebrows at that. Donghyuck had never been open about his relationships and she was certain that he had never lasted more than a week with somebody. Much like her, he lived off situationships.

“You have a girlfriend?”

“I can manage to have somebody, you know?”

“I’m sure you do, you’re not bad looking.” She answers, pressing her cheek to the top of his head and then sighing. “I’m sorry for the proximity, I’m just trying to keep my hair intact. The wind is insane today.”

“‘I have a girlfriend’, I say, before you inherently make me look like a cheater to half the town.”

“Everybody in this town knows we’ve been friends since high school, Vanilla-”

“We’re friends?” He asks, a bit surprised, and it takes her a moment of thinking. To everyone in this town, Donghyuck was the man that took her virginity in a set of parties that they attended to, perhaps a bit closer than friends at some point (though grandly wrong at that assumption, that is), but someone whom she is really close with. It’s not precisely wrong.

“Yes. I know more about you than most people and I think we care about each other enough.”

“That’s being acquaintances.”

“You know what, Vanilla Ice? Fuck you. We’re not friends at all if you don’t want to. Saving my friendship bracelet, or rather, I can give it to you so you can pull it up your ass.”

Donghyuck chuckles loudly. It’s been a while since she has heard that noise and it reminds her of the times he spent binge-watching YouTube videos on the sofa while her trio of friends were trying to do work. He makes a laugh sound so sincere that she’s almost in awe. Donghyuck blurs his words to make himself look less attached, but he’s also inherently transparent.

“We can be friends.”

“I don’t want to anymore.” She huffs, only to have him shaking his head.

“You’re friends with Yangyang. I’m sorry for second-guessing you a bit.”

“Don’t you dare talk shit about Yang.”

“I’d kick his ass if I could, but I sadly don’t care about him enough to do so.” He stops his bicycle in his tracks, looking at two roads. “Left or right?”

Right. This moment feels right.

With the sun bathing the two of them and their eyes connecting briefly, she replies: “Left.” Because that’s what they will always be. Opposite roads.

WORDS THAT CAN’T BE SAID SHOULDN’T BE WRITTEN.

Be damned the day she couldn’t say a thing. When it became easier to spend her time studying at the local swimming pool that the landlord had coincidentally decided to add to their apartment complex; that was the time everything went to hell and back. Because that’s when she met the nephew of one of the old ladies at the complex, and he was handsome.

Capital H.

He’s also extremely unapproachable in every way. Thomas, the little kid that sometimes glues his bubblegum to the elevator doors in hopes of keeping them together for longer so he can talk to somebody (as he says, his parents don’t get home until very late and he spends most of his time alone), had given her some background on Nakamoto Yuta. Twitch streamer for story games, who posted a bunch two years ago but also has disappeared a bit now, just when his career was starting to launch.

It’s not a surprise that he’s always drinking a certain brand of an energy drink or that he almost always is recording what he is eating or drinking a bit. Typical influencer nature. However, she can’t say she was not a bit distracted as she was getting ready for her exams. This last month has been hell as she watches him push his black hair back, give one of those smiles that squares his jaw and make him look the ever-more-thrilling, with his t-shirts almost always painting the outline of a nice pair of abdominals.

Dead.

She almost failed a test because she’s been spending her time being stupid.

Okay, this idea came from Yangyang sarcastically…but she had followed through with it. She rambled a lot of stupid shit when given the chance, so she wanted to put those words to paper and get over him by just emptying her heart. Sometimes, she wrote something sweet, then it was something a bit risky…

And as she’s inspecting the letters of the page she had been trying to read the last hour as he listens to his typical rock records at a medium volume that can be tolerated by most, she doesn’t expect to hear cackles nearing her. Full-on laughter that has her looking up, feeling droplets of Yuta’s hair falling on her face as his eyes become crescent moons.

He never talks to her. Or at least, never a conversation that is of much use.

However, tonight he sits on the chair next to hers, waving a piece of paper in the air that has her widening her eyes.

She never signed the papers, she’s certain.

“I came to the realization that my secret admirer wrote in purple and you use a purple pen today.” Yuta announces. She knows his name because Thomas is a grand fan. God, she wishes she had given up on those letters now that she feels her heart racing because she had called him a bunch of names. From cute to hot, to absolutely breathtaking. “And it makes sense, considering you look up too much from your book.”

“I…What? No. No way.” She shakes her head. Fuck, what had she written today? She always left the letters under his gym bag, always brought to him when visiting his aunt.

“Lie to me, but this?” He spares a look at her notebook, pointing at her handwriting. “Coincides with this.”

“Hey! Privacy!” She closes the notebook snugly, pointing at him. “I know laws. Don’t make me use them against you.”

Yuta quirks an eyebrow, leaning back on his hands before laughing softly. “Use whatever you want against me, baby.” The pit of her stomach shouldn’t dance at those words, much less when she remembers what she had written on today’s note for Yuta.

I wish I was the honey you pour on those cinnamon rolls your aunt always gifts you; that way, I would always stick to you mouth.

Never listen to Yangyang’s advice ever again. That’s the newsflash she’s receiving as of now.

“I’m Yuta.”

“And I’m gracefully out.” She tries to stand up, clinging her notebook and textbook to her chest, but Yuta wraps his fingers around her wrist, pulling her back every so delicately before fluttering his short eyelashes.

“Come on, don’t do that. I’ve kept all the letters you’ve given me, and now that I can give the person a face…I wouldn’t mind a date.”

The good decision is to avoid relationships.

She knows this. That’s always the good answer. However, it has been a while since she has felt the warmth of someone’s skin against hers, and it has as well been extremely long since she has had someone kiss her goodbye. It could be nice, and it could also be an opportunity with Yuta.

Damn her for saying yes.

The worst part of being with someone new is that she goes to places where she doesn’t belong.

Two months after she started seeing Yuta is when things started to feel different. Eunbyul had been nice enough to invite her to a cabin she’d be sharing with Yangyang and a few other friends, where Ritz cookies with whipped cream were promised—she preferred them with pepperoni, so she’d bring some herself—, and she’d have a few talks while passing the brief weeks in which she’d be free from her semester. She’d feel like more than her textbooks, but she had washed away the idea of that trip for something with Yuta.

Granted, she knows that Yuta has some kind of fame. Not enough to have paparazzi after him, but like one or two people want to take pictures with him as he’s seated on a plaid picnic cloth, rolling up a joint and bringing it to his lips. His hair is longer than any of her ex’s, he is also incredibly touchy whenever he wants to, with a hand on her waist and leaving a flutter at the pit of her stomach. He wears a floral shirt tucked into ripped jeans and he’s…a daydream.

The kind that kisses her velvet lipstick off, and the man that spent most of his days talking to her online. They rarely see each other often because of clashing timelapses and busy schedules, but now that she sees him…she wants him to be the rare good decision that she makes. She knows that he’ll either be the person that settles with her—finally, God fucking finally—or her biggest heartbreak.

She has learned from Yuta, as his thumb caresses the sliver of skin that is unraveled from the waist of her black and yellow sunflower sundress, that he is the total opposite of her. She is preparing herself to defend divorce cases; to figure out who is right and who is wrong and raise her voice for those who need sheltering in that situation. However, Yuta sees his life for what flows and doesn’t—he just got his engineering degree a year ago and he's making real money off Twitch streaming.

He doesn’t see far ahead, and all she can see is the light at the end of the tunnel. If it isn’t there, she’d inherently panic.

And this music festival that he wanted so desperately to go to with a few of his friends—Johnny and Yoonoh, whom she hasn’t seen now that they have found their respective dates—is not the kind of scene that she frequents. Yuta smells like the joint Johnny had given him, and his eyes are dazed when he turns to press a fleeting kiss to her lips.

He flows and flows and flows. She’s scared that one of those times, he’ll fly away from her fingertips.

“What’s with that face?” Yuta asks, pressing a kiss to her cheek and her heart does summersaults, because she rushed two weeks into knowing him to give him a kiss and now, two months into this…thing, she can’t wait for Yuta to figure himself out. To make this grand event for him an even more enormous moment for her.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been to an event like this.” The farthest she had gone was that summer in which Yangyang spent almost every weekend partying and bringing her along. At some point, she had become his chauffeur and Yangyang had thrown up so badly into his own backpack that he had completely forgotten to wash it off. He promised not to party anymore when on the first day back to school he had brought the throw-up-filled backpack with him. “…I…You know, I’m happy because I’m with you, but at the same time I want to be alone with you.”

He chuckles a bit, putting down the joint and turning it off with a step on top of it. “We are alone.”

“No, like…” She could say it. Without music booming and his friends around and his mind elsewhere. “Just forget it.”

He tugs at her hand, softly, lips puckered up when he asks: “Come on, just…tell me. I want to know everything that is on your head.”

Would he want to know the anxiety? The recurring insecurities? Would he want to know that he has taken over every piece of her dreams and she’s not sure that she can get rid of the image of him anytime soon? Cupid had thrown an arrow directly at her heart and the worst part is that if she rips it apart anytime, she’s scared that it will rip it out of her chest.

“I wanted something quieter, maybe.”

Though, the moment that Yuta brings her closer and tells her that it’ll only be a few more minutes, she feels liquid pouring down on her. Yoonoh is not too far away, with dimples on his cheeks carved so deeply that it looks like there is no tissue or muscle there in his chiseled cheekbones. His flannel shirt is opened as he spritzes the recently opened bottle of champagne on the couple.

She closes her eyes. Fuck drunken Yoonoh, she thinks, hearing Yuta’s sweet laughter and trying to mask the same smile. Maybe, she just needs to loosen up.

“Yoonoh!” She screeches, standing up and plucking the dress away from her chest so it doesn’t contort a little too closely to her skin.

“You two were flushed. Needed to ease up from this heat.” Yoonoh brings the bottle to his mouth and pours a good chunk before she sighs deeply.

Love is a slave to patience.

Maybe, that’s all she’s lacked, patience.

And even those she’s annoyed, she brings her face down to steal a kiss from Yuta, who quirks an eyebrow and tells her: “I’ll kick his ass, don’t worry. I know Yoonoh can get annoying when he’s had a few drinks on him.”

Please, do, she wants to tell him. Instead, she shakes her head. “I’ll go to the restroom at the restaurant we went to, okay?” There’s a seafood place near this festival, considering that it’s by the beach, and while the stars have taken up the sky and she doesn’t want to go on her own, she also doesn’t want to bother Yuta.

He takes her phone from the picnic cloth before placing it in the little purse she has dangling from her shoulder. “Send me a text when you get there.” And with a kiss on her forehead, she tries to convince herself that Yuta’s heart beats as quickly as hers does.

It has to, right?

Long has it been since Donghyuck has felt that crippling need in the pit of his throat to weep and cry. He’s older, so he has tried to garnish more of a timelapse before he reaches that point, but…when a friend betrays you this way, it hurts deeply.

Renjun’s hair is shorter than how it was when they first met. It’s a deep blue with glimpses of black, sticking up at different places while he hits the stack of papers that include their lyrics against his hand. Past his empty eyes, Donghyuck believes he sees glimmers of who they used to be. Renjun was the guy in theater club that skipped his classes to go play with him when the real school band was over. He was the man that came up with the name ‘The Dry Flower’. His eyes were once red from crying with Donghyuck because they had booked their first gig.

“I don’t want you in the band anymore, Hyuck.”

They were about to play their biggest gig to date. A beach festival in which they were one of the first people to open, but as he is in his best leather jacket, with his hair sleeked back, his drumsticks ready to play for him, Renjun says this. As if it doesn’t weight him down. As if Donghyuck hadn’t heard him minutes ago.

“What the fuck?” He asks with a sarcastic smile on his face, pushing forward until he is face to face with Renjun. “I think you’ve forgotten I was the one that got us here, Renjun.”

“We didn’t want a front-man.” Renjun announces, frowning deeply. “That’s the problem. You think this is a one-man show—”

“No, I don’t, but you don’t know how much I’ve given up for this band. Or you do, but you’ve decided to forget just now.” Niamh and Renjun are just a foot away from graduating, and Jooyeon had her own music store. Niamh is engaged to Aida, now seated on her lap, their eyes elsewhere but on him. They had totally planned this.

“That was up to you to decide—”

“You don’t even have a drummer for the gig!” Now he’s desperate. He should have walked away twenty minutes ago when this argument had started, to keep his pride intact, but he wanted this band. For the longest time, this band had been his family.

“We have found someone.” Renjun aspires, whispering at first, and when Donghyuck asks him to repeat himself, he does with a straight face. His hands are shaking and meanwhile, Renjun is calm. Composed. As always.

He hates that Renjun has it all together and he doesn’t.

So, he thrashes all the memories he has held with one of his best friends. The nights they spent talking about how they aspired to be like The Strokes or Queen. The birthdays in which Renjun sent him voice messages saying he hates him to death but that they’ll celebrate that night. The hugs they shared when getting gigs, or the moments in which creating music felt cohesive. Because he was the Paul to his John, and now—

Now, Donghyuck is launching himself at Renjun, using his forearm to back him up into the wall backstage, speaking into his face as tears threaten to spill from the corner of his eyes.

“Fuck you!”

His vision blurs, forgetting that the face his punch lands into is none other than Renjun’s. He feels his own body being pushed backwards, Renjun’s slim body falling on top of his, and he swears he hears Jooyeon screaming for the two of them to get over this. Her short hair moves with each tug she gives to get Renjun off of him as he lands another punch, but it’s to no avail.

Friendship wasn’t supposed to end like this, with security separating them and Donghyuck staring at a group of people that stabbed him behind his back. Jooyeon and her widened eyes, that inspected him as if he had gone insane. Niamh, always the most sensitive, crying her eyes out and covering her face. Renjun’s cheekbone flourishes in a deep pink and he wonders if his tan skin mirrors the same wound.

The only thing that keeps them connected as of now.

Security drags him away, only letting go of him when they were in front of the restaurant a few feet away. Donghyuck spits in the floor, finally letting his hands cage his face and his shoulders shake with each weep that leaves his body.

He doesn’t have a band anymore.

Shit, does he have a dream anymore?

The world is weightier and it crumbles to the point he wants to hide himself. Rushing, he enters the restaurant, ignoring the waitress that tries to get him a table as he goes to the bathroom.

His best night just turned out to be his worst.

Someone enters the bathroom just as she’s washing her hands. In fact, she doesn’t react at first. Indeed, she prepares herself for a drunken talk with a girl who probably wears one of those pleated skirts that are trending right now, but when the door is shut with a bang and she hears incessant sniffling along with a smack against one of the stools, she knows whoever has entered means business.

And there could have been a hundred people that entered through that door, but she never expected it to be Donghyuck. Her heart hammers against her chest when she sees his black hair pooling on each side of his face, longer than the last time she saw him, clinging into the last bits of gel on his head. He is wearing a leather jacket, but the anatomy of him astounds her. His shoulders are shaking, back hunched, stomach contracting before he lets out a loud sob. As if whatever is bothering him rakes through his chest and leaves him void, open for the world to pluck at his heartstrings.

“Donghyuck…” Her voice must have alarmed him, considering he stops pressing his forehead to the stool’s door and he actually turns around. His eyes are so red that they could mimic that of an eclipse. Tears fall down like glitter on chiseled cheekbones and she takes that as a cue to grab his face in between her hands and pull him closer. Before asking him anything, she’s shushing him, because this is Eunbyul’s little cousin, the man that she had seen grow and had bothered for so long. “Shh, everything is going to be alright…”

His hands cling to her back, as if her dress was a second skin, as he hides his face on her neck. She feels the plumpness of his lips right at her pulse when he shakes his head and mutters: “It won’t. My life is over…”

The contraction of the muscle by her heart is enough to have her pulling away, feeling her own tears wield up in her vision out of panic. “Don’t say that, Donghyuck. Not even playing around. Your life is not over.” Rubbing at his eyes, she speaks softly, only for the two of them to hear. Meanwhile, his hands still rest on her waist, looking into her eyes. “Whatever happened, we can get through it together. I won’t leave your side the entire night if that means you…you figuring out that this is just another bad chapter of the book, but not the finale. It is not the end.”

Donghyuck’s lip quivers before he rubs at his eyes, looking up to try and stop the tears. He tries to pull away, but she keeps her hold on his cheeks. “Renjun fucking kicked me out of the band.” He seethes, shaking his head before sighing deeply. “After all I’ve given for them. After all I’ve done. They all continued with their lives because they didn’t care about the band as much, but I followed through with it because I believed that it would sail. Now that we’re halfway there, I’m no longer in the band and—”

“Why would Renjun do that?”

“Apparently, they are tired of me being the front-man and making decisions all the time.” Donghyuck whispers, pressing a hand to his eyes as if not to see her. “And it’s so embarrassing that I’m crying like this but…that band is my whole life. I can’t let my family see that it didn’t work out for me. All these years I’ve fought to let everyone know that I was going to make it. I thought I’d be the greatest drummer but—”

“Now you’re the greatest drummer but out of a band.” She completes for him, unraveling his vision before looking from one of his eyes to the other. He had grown so much, had become so responsible and yet so mortified. Where had his sarcastic smile gone? “You don’t believe me?”

Donghyuck shakes his head, not uttering a single word.

Silence had never fit Donghyuck.

But when his silence overtakes him and rids him of the will of continuing, she is there for him. She presses a fleeting kiss to his forehead, letting her lips linger there, wishing for the Donghyuck that she knew to awaken from inside his brain. Instead, she tries to get him out.

“You’re important.” She tells him. “You’re fun to be around. You’re resilient. You’re worth waiting for.” All that she thinks of Donghyuck is spat out in simple words, pulling away to look at him only to see that he closes his eyes tightly, long eyelashes bathed in tears. “You’re smart and willing. You’re…so many things, Donghyuck, but the greatest of it all is that you’re part of so many people’s lives and I reassure you…none of them want to lose you.”

Donghyuck opens his eyes, brown eyes glistening and he pretends to smile from the corner of his mouth, but she grins back at him.

“There you go, that’s the smile everyone likes.”

“Everyone?”

“I’m a peculiar fan of your happiness. It’s the only reason why I tease you with the whole Vanilla Ice thing.” She confesses, licking her bottom lip before biting on it. “You always roll your eyes but the corner of your mouth lifts up. As if you find it amusing that to this day I haven’t forgotten.”

“I doubt I give Yangyang the same response.”

“I happen to believe I am a little bit more special than Yangyang. You’ve always preferred me.” She answers, taking his hand and dragging him to the sink. “Now, let’s wash up those tears and grab something to eat, okay? You’ve lost weight and all that stress you’ve got bundled up isn’t doing you any good.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, tossing his head back. “I’m fine.”

“I know.” She replies. “But good is never good enough.”

And then, he finally laughs when he feels her splashing water onto his face.

CUPID’S ARROW IS A JOKE THAT NEVER LANDS. SEVEN WEEKS LATER.

Returning to her last semester before she turns a lawyer should feel somehow fulfilling. Her mind could have been focused on the textbook that glares back at her from the PDF blinking on her laptop, eager for a topic to be understood, but her digits gravitate towards her phone, unlocking it and checking Yuta’s chat to see if he had answered the text that she hand sent him three hours ago, that he had definitely seen.

Or the one four hours before that.

Or the ‘good morning, babe’ text that he didn’t respond.

In fact, love shouldn’t feel like this. Like an electricity shock that flickers like a broken light. She still turns it on even though it’s only dimly lighting the room up. She sighs deeply, pressing her forehead to the keyboard when searching for key words on their conversation. Nicknames that he had called her. Promises that he had made. Pictures of the two of them that they had exchanged in a conversation that now seems dead.

If they exchange four sentences in a day, it’s a lot.

It’s an emptying feeling. Gravitating her into a pit of feelings that she can’t comprehend. Throwing the phone into her phone as it lands on a pillow, she groans loudly, covering her eyes and digging the heels of her palms into them. Alright, it was her fault for falling for Yuta, or that she knows this is inherently wrong and yet, she still stays here.

It has crossed her mind to leave Yuta, but it’s impossible. Somehow, it feels like she’s the one at blame. She feels like the problem in each of her relationships. The one that fucks it up by putting interest, by not being like other women who make themselves be desired and lusted at even after months of being together. She stands up when she hears her phone buzz from the bedsheets, launching herself into the bed in the most ridiculous of ways and when she unlocks it, she lets a few tears drop.

Yuta hasn’t responded to her text yet. And she can’t even delete them anymore.

Instead, someone else had texted her. It was not Eunbyul, who was the complete opposite of her and is probably sharing dinner with Yangyang at this point, since long having moved in with him again. However, seeing Donghyuck’s name appear on the screen—next to an ice cube emoji, of course—is not as bad.

From: Donghyuck 🧊

Is it bad that I eat the leftover buttercream from Eunbyul’s store? [Attached File]

The picture attached brings a smile to her features. Donghyuck has his eyebrows well raised, a spatula pressed in between his lips and a dot of buttercream on the tip of his nose. She turns around on the bed, letting her hair cascade on her sides before sighing.

To: Donghyuck 🧊

Wish I could do that. I should be studying, but I can’t fucking concentrate.

She puts her phone down. Feminism is put to shame because of her. Why is she standing a man’s doing? Just because she feels like she…she…might be slightly in love with him? That’s stupid, even for her. And scrolling through Instagram doesn’t help as she continues to see Reels about situation-ships.

Stop it, word.

From: Donghyuck 🧊

Must be because you’re thinking of your stoner boyfriend. You know that you’re a lawyer?

To: Donghyuck 🧊

Future lawyer. Your point?

From: Donghyuck 🧊

Weed’s illegal. You’d have to put him to jail.

To: Donghyuck 🧊

I’m not like this ‘cause of Yuta.

From: Donghyuck 🧊

[Attached music file].

The room is filled with that popular song that Yangyang has been humming under his breath the last week. Boy’s a Liar or something of the like. A smile appears on her features, even when he’s not precisely wrong. What could Yuta be doing all these days, spending time at home, when there is nothing he enjoys more than going out?

To: Donghyuck 🧊

Men are snakes. Purr.

From: Donghyuck 🧊

Slay girlie.

More laughter leaves her lips before Donghyuck writes once again.

From: Donghyuck 🧊

But for real, I’m going to the karaoke bar with a few friends and I’m sure you’re not going to do any more studying. Come with me? We’ll sing your song.

To: Donghyuck 🧊

My song?

From: Donghyuck 🧊

Just come. Please? I want you there.

It’s not a surprise when she accepts, putting on the biggest sweater she has in her closet—half because of the weather and the other half because she doesn’t feel like showing off with how bad she feels—, a pair of leggings and then she’s out the door. Prompting what happened these past few weeks for her to be vengeful, wishing for Yuta to react to her going out with someone else without telling him. Perhaps, she’s just clinging onto what they used to be—or what she thought they could have been—. The brisk bites at her hands as she waits for a taxi to pick her up.

Dating is the hardest thing she has done, but she tries to erase that thought out of her head as she imagines the good things to come. She’ll go to Eunbyul’s store, close with Donghyuck—since he found a job there after being kicked out of The Dry Flower—and just have a good time.

Donghyuck’s boozed. He’s the conceptualization of it.

Ask him what’s the meaning of the word conceptualization? He has no fucking clue, but as he stands on the only table there, with his boots disregarded and showing his stupid striped socks, he couldn’t care less.

She’s seated right across from him, with the same glass of water that she had ordered early on her hand, watching him with widened eyes and a bit of a smile on her face. He’ll be honest, he had never looked at her with intent or from up-close, but the last few weeks ever since their exchange in the bathroom, and the time that they had spent away, months maybe, he sees her with a different gaze.

Her hair is shorter than how it was when they were younger, eyelashes less coated in mascara and way less curled than they were before. She exchanged cheap red lipstick for a nude, darker shade that match the real tone of them. The sweater she wears probably leaves her skin damp, but the little glint of sweat around her nose makes her look adorable. Donghyuck wishes she just wasn’t so bad at picking men.

Because there he is, choosing a song as one of his friends—to be honest, he had just tagged along with Mark’s group because they were good fun, but he doesn’t consider them that close to him—asks him to. He turns around, making his dramatic entrance and singing while looking at her. When she realizes which song it is, she cackles immediately, tossing her head back and yet, not stopping looking at him.

Yes, he wishes that the only way he got her to look at him wasn’t by singing Vanilla Ice’s ‘Ice, Ice, Baby’ but he knows that’s the only way he can get her to remember who he is.

He moves his hair around, parting his legs and reciting the songs like the palm of his hand. He gets off the table, extending his hand and taking hers in his even when she covers her face. Donghyuck feels a blush rise up his cheeks, could be the beers he has had or the fact that he is looking at the screen to remember the next verse because of his mind is a blur, his tongue is intertwining in words that he can’t let out at this moment.

When the song is over, the moment isn’t. Donghyuck splays himself next to her side, their knees touching and his eyes immediately going to her profile. He expects her to see her looking away, but her eyes are already on him, looking from one orb to the other and he might go insane—

God, since when was she this hot? This beautiful?

He remembers being annoyed at her, much more at Yangyang, but she was friends with Eunbyul for a reason. Then, he pretended to be her first time at a party because she was still into that asshole Felix. Now, she’s dating another asshole and he wishes nothing more than for her to open her eyes.

“You’re blushing?” She questions, splaying a hand on his cheek before pinching it softly. She’s in awe, but she can be even more surprised when he lets his fingers spread on top of her own, closing up her palm to his cheek so she cups it with more intent.

“Maybe.” Donghyuck slurs out, chuckling a bit before pushing his face forward the slightest. They are only breaths away, her mint mixing with his beer. “How does one get you to blush?”

She chuckles at that, shaking her head. “It’s been long since that’s happened.”

He can’t imagine not bathing her in reasons as to why look at the world in a romantic glare, and maybe he’s insane for it. Donghyuck pulls her hand down, trying to stop the beating of his heart and the stupidity that threatens to slip from his lips and ruin what possibly is some kind of…friendship? “I can make it happen, truthfully.”

“I don’t think Vanilla Ice has it in him.”

“Vanilla Ice doesn’t. I do.” Donghyuck replies, and maybe it’s the invitation in her eyes when she lets go of his hand and stands up, looking over her shoulder before walking away from the karaoke room that has him following after her.

Donghyuck doesn’t have a second to think when he catches her by the forearm before she walks away. Her chest collides against his own, taller than he was when they were younger, and definitely in a position that they never had been in before. His black t-shirt becomes his axis as she looks into his eyes, cutting the distance between the two and capturing his bottom lip in the softness of her own mouth. She kisses with gentleness, a bit of trembling to her body that he stops by pulling her closer, molding her hips with his own, back contorted to the dip of his stomach.

Donghyuck wishes it didn’t feel fitting for him; everything that she does, he means. From running her fingers through his hair, to the way her body shakes, heart racing against his ribcage. He pulls away to look at her closed eyelids before dipping in again. Her hand disappears under his shirt, touching the skin that he knows he’s insecure about, the places in which he hid his overthinking…

She touches him like this means forever, and he doesn’t even know what that means.

He pushes her to the wall, her back landing softly as his leg gets lost in between her own thighs. A small trembling breath leaves her mouth, opening her eyes and looking at him as his thumb traces her bottom lip.

She’s not his, and she proves it when closing her eyes tightly and saying: “God, what am I doing?”

He’ll be an interrogative, even an insecurity for her. A secret that she’ll broom under her memories to never get out. She had touched him as if she meant all those words she said at the bathroom. That he was kind and irreplaceable, and here he is, being a band-aid to a wounded heart.

“Excuse me?” Donghyuck asks, pulling away the slightest and laughing sarcastically at her words, though it doesn’t last long.

“Donghyuck, I—”

“You say it as if I’m fucking disgusting to kiss.” He compliments and she doesn’t say a word, looking over to the side and biting that lip that he wants nothing more than to kiss. “Look at me.”

“No. I…I can’t. I’m seeing someone, Donghyuck.”

“Someone like everyone else you’ve had. You don’t know how to see someone who truly respects you.”

Now she looks at him, glaring directly through his heart. “Donghyuck, you don’t know how this shit is.”

“Yes, I know how you are. You stay and feel guilty for acting with your heart once just because you believe tying someone who doesn’t want you to you is going to make them stay.”

“Don’t say stuff like that!”

“When have they ever stayed, huh?” He asks, only to have her pushing at his chest, pointing a finger at him.

“Well, I’m not sure you’d stay either! It always starts like this, with promises of being different and I always end up hurt!”

She shakes her head, giving a few steps backwards away and towards the entrance. He calls her name softly, clicking his tongue at not knowing precisely what to say.

He could start with what he feels. Hey, I’m not sure when these feelings blossomed, but I am not willing to kiss anyone else but you. Not willing to be of anyone, but yours.

“Thank you for reminding me.” She adds. “No one fucking wants me as more than a moment—”

“I could say the same about you.” Donghyuck replies, crossing his arms over his chest, hating how prideful he can be. “You called me so many beautiful things, even fucking kissed me back, and yet…I’m not enough to make you change your mind.”

He hates to see the tears that she tries to make disappear by blinking, or that she doesn’t have any words to say. Not even an excuse as she picks up her bag and turns around.

She leaves.

Don’t they always?

BLAME IS ALWAYS SHARED. THREE DAYS LATER.

The peak of her idiocy comes when she looks at her phone while in class.

She’s seated at the very back, jotting down notes on her laptop about what her classmate is explaining, but she gets distracted. In fact, all she has been able to think is the way Donghyuck’s lips spread on hers, how his body molded perfectly to hers and how bad it feels to cling to Yuta in hopes of making her feel the same. The same way even when he doesn’t text her as much anymore, or how he has been avoiding seeing her for the past few weeks.

But looking at her phone gets her to look at his social media, because that’s the hobby that she has partaken on to feel a little closer to him. His Twitch, most of the time unused, blinks with the appearance of a new stream. He’s playing one of his favorite videogames, as relaxed as ever, as if they weren’t going through a point in their…who is she kidding? This is also not a relationship, just like everyone else she has had. And there she is, withstanding shit from a man who doesn’t even want to call her a boyfriend.

Who, coincidentally, also hasn’t responded to her ‘good morning’ text again. Great.

She looks at that conversation, then clicks back into Yuta’s Twitch stream, careful not to have the volume up. His now red hair is tied behind his back, one of his legs propped over the desk as he has one earphone on and the other tossed on top of his knee. His eyes cast down on the screen, though she sees his phone from her peripheral, on a corner of his lit-up neon desk.

So, she writes the text, even with a pattering heart and fear of making a mistake. Yuta is not the only man in the world, and this anxiousness that follows after her has been enough to make her crazy. Even break her sly friendship with Donghyuck.

To: Yuta Nakamoto.

You know what? I’m not here to stay with a man who would much rather stream on his forgotten channel than answer my text. I hope you have a good one, Yuta. It’s over.

She would want to say that she was the better person and that she didn’t stay in the stream until she saw his phone screen light up and him stopping his game to look at the conversation. His eyes widen for a fraction of a second, frowning his eyebrows before tossing a look at the camera and putting the screen face-down.

That’s an answer, right? He couldn’t give less of a shit and it could be easier to curse him out, call his phone and make a fool of him in the middle of the stream, but she puts her phone down as well. It feels liberating not to live through a screen, and she’s damn happy to do so.

One less worry, and more time for herself, finally listening to her class once again and writing in her computer. Heart weightier, but liberated from its confining chains. It’s easier to love oneself, she tells herself, or perhaps her career who will give her much more than a man.

Now, the problem is that her life is more than the complicated mess that Yuta made it out to be. In fact, she had messed it up a bit, too. Donghyuck roams her head when she gets out of her class, with zero messages from Yuta, but also nothing from him.

It feels worse not to have the possibility to text Donghyuck, because she knows the things they said and how hurtful they were. She knows she touched portions of his heart that he never let anyone see, much more after his break-up with that girl he had dated all those months ago.

Though, for the time being, she’ll concentrate on her exams and nothing more. That should do it. No men allowed in her head.

HOW DID THAT SONG GO AGAIN? WE DON’T TALK ANYMORE? A MONTH AFTER.

Eunbyul just had to make things difficult and offer free sweets for her best friends, didn’t she?

Donghyuck rubs at the same spot on the counter that he had been working on all those minutes ago after she had gotten here. Like every Thursday, when she wants to spend some time gossiping with her best friend and braid Eunbyul’s hair as she speaks her elbows off. He rarely looks at them, considering that Eunbyul is the one to serve her the all-time-favorite, Caramel Cupcakes, but Eunbyul is down with the flu and her best friend is still coming, nonetheless.

Today, she is wearing a suit. She has worn more of those nowadays, considering that she’s working on her thesis and also interning. Information that Donghyuck got to know about thanks to his cousin, and he pretended he didn’t care, but he would not lie to himself and say he is not a little bit proud. Even though he can’t bear to remember that night in which everything came crumbling down.

At the end of the day, according to Eunbyul, Yuta and her were over just a few days after that night at the karaoke bar. Not that she knows about the shared kiss, but she had spoken from the bottom of her heart saying how sorry she was that something like that happened. Donghyuck wasn’t surprised, but still.

Worst part is that she came to the bakery just as they were about to close, and she’s looking at the menu as if she isn’t going to pick the same thing as she always does. She doesn’t call him over, instead standing up and letting her heels ring in the silent golden bakery. The leftover pastries glisten behind the glass, waiting to be microwaved and enjoyed before the shop closes, but the only client is her.

And Donghyuck’s breath traps in his throat when she looks into his eyes. As always, concentrating on one eye and then the other. As if she can’t take all of him in just in one go.

“I want a croissant.”

Donghyuck shakes his head, stopping his motions on the counter and fixing the beige apron around his waist. “You never have a croissant. I saved you a Caramel Cupcake.”

Alright, that’s stupid. He can’t believe he said it out loud. Silence prolongs between the two, eyes staring at one another before she clicks her tongue.

“Why would you?”

“You always ask for the same thing.” He responds quickly.

“You hate me, Donghyuck.”

“I never said I did.”

“But you do.”

“I’d like to say I do, yes.” He tries to play it off coolly, only to have her laughing a bit. She leans forward, playing with the collar of her gray jacket.

“I don’t hate you.” She tells him, licking those nude lips that he has to stop looking at because she’s totally not interested in him. “And I’ll take the caramel cupcake, sure, but the croissant, too.”

He turns around, ignoring her as he starts the microwave with the croissant inside. He packs the cupcake up in those pretty see-through boxes with yellow ribbons that Eunbyul had ordered for her shop.

“Why don’t you hate me? I said a bunch of nasty shit to you.”

“It’s easy to say I hate you. Harder to do so, I think.” She answers, and he doesn’t see her, but he imagines her lips parting and sighing softly. “Because the things you were telling me weren’t wrong, Vanilla Ice.”

He seethes through his teeth, turning around and spreading his hands behind him, crossing one leg over the other. “You have never seen me as anyone else than Eunbyul’s little cousin who had a video of him rapping, haven’t you?”

“I hadn’t.” She says and he swears he sees her patting the tips of her ears, as if checking if she’s blushing. “…Until someone decided to kiss me and make things complicated.”

“You kissed back.”

“I did.”

“Then?”

“We made it complicated. There, better?”

“Worse.”

“Agreed.”

The microwave beeps in time for him to cut the conversation, turning around and packing in another bag with the bakery’s name imprinted on it the croissant. When everything is done, Donghyuck serves it in front of her, their fingertips barely touching when placing it upon her hands. She won’t eat there, that he is sure of.

She parts her lips, as if to say something important, before she looks down at the sweets on her hands. Instead, she spreads her ribcage in a long breath before saying what disappoints him entirely, yet the most fitting thing to say in this situation.

“See you, Donghyuck.”

With that, she leaves. As if nothing happened. At this point, he may start to believe that nothing will ever happen.

Yangyang just had to propose to Eunbyul on Halloween, didn’t he?

The thing is…all would have been alright if he hadn’t decided to involve everyone in his Halloween proposal. It was going to happen at their house, of course, but he wanted it to be in the middle of a Halloween party, with everyone dressed up as the cheapest costume they could find. Yes, that’s precisely Yangyang asked for—because he didn’t want to scare Eunbyul off, he said, but he also wanted it to be in an important date and Christmas was a little too far away—.

Now, the problem was that she wanted to be Wednesday and the costume that she bought online had come two sizes smaller. Instead, she’s left with a dress that doesn’t close behind her and a black coat on top of it to cover up the fact that she can’t breathe completely without feeling the fabric tear a bit. It’s either that or wearing Yangyang’s sexy Spiderman costume, and she doesn’t think it’s a great idea…

The celebration downstairs booms with laughter and the brief sound of music, with the closest family and friends hanging out, but she wants to see her two best friends get engaged.

Okay, she’s getting the dress off.

Though, her own hands and a bit of fidgeting is not enough to get the second skin off. Yes, because this black dress counts as a second skin now. A bit more moving and a few jumps in front of the mirror are interrupted by the door opening, a screech leaving her lips when she sees a man in all black clothing with a pumpkin on his head, with eyes and a mouth carved, but still.

“What the fuck?!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” The voice is completely familiar. Donghyuck fumbles with the doorknob, eager to get out of the room before she calls out his name. That makes him stop, though he turns around slowly, comical considering he hasn’t taken off that damned pumpkin head.

“I can’t get this dress off and it’s literally killing me. I can’t breathe—” She speaks a little too quickly, huffing when extending her arms behind her back to ease herself from the tightening fabric.

“Alright, I’ll help you. Stop moving.” Donghyuck gets the pumpkin off from his head, tussling his hair up with a hand—light brown strands as of now, long and gorgeous in their messy stance—. He nears her, turning her around and from the view she gets on the mirror of the two of them, his gaze lingers on her back the slightest before he bites his bottom lip. “Would it be okay if we tugged down? I think it has more of a chance of going down your hips than up.”

“O—Okay.” She answers, letting his strong hands settle on the fabric around her waist and tug down, bringing her arms down. “Ouch!”

“It’s moving. Just…stay still. I’m sorry for doing this.” His legs spread when kneeling behind her and she goes where her mind is going, but Donghyuck’s hands keep working on tugging the dress down, the sleeves now off, skin tainted and burning, while her arms spread on front of her chest to cover her bra.

“I hate that I’m in this situation.”

“I’m not looking, I promise.”

“That’s the bad part, I guess.” She jokes around, though Donghyuck doesn’t laugh, looking at her through the mirror before looking up.

“I was about to say something but you’re like half naked—”

“Just say it and get it over with.”

“Don’t play around, that’s all.”

He gives a few more tugs until the dress pools at her feet, her hands clinging onto the coat and spreading it on top of her body like a robe before turning around. “Thank you.” Donghyuck nods curtly, about to put on his pumpkin mask again before she says: “Is it that hard to believe that I find you attractive, Donghyuck?”

He stares at her, blinking slowly, before he raises his eyebrows. Then, his hand finds leverage on his nape. “I mean…you’ve never been into me—”

“In the past, I hadn’t.” She tells him, getting closer and tightening her hold on her coat. “But me going every week to Eunbyul’s bakery has to mean something, right? I miss us, Donghyuck. What we were in those weeks. What we could have been in that night we kissed but…” She trails off. “I don’t want someone who won’t take me seriously and if you do the same as everyone else, I’m afraid I won’t be able to try again.”

She can’t believe that the arrow that Cupid apparently throws had landed on Donghyuck, how he gives a step forward too and looks from her lips to her eyes, down again. “I would never hurt you. Not again.” For some reason, from him, she believes it. He could be his own self, perhaps fights would ensue, but she knows he is the most truthful person she can find.

“I would ask you to promise, but I don’t want to hear any more promises.”

“That’s not wrong,” He spreads his hand on her cheek. “Because if we are going to try this out, I plan to show it to you.”

Her lips connect to his own, relishing on the feeling of his hand dropping from her cheek to her neck back to her nape. Her heart doesn’t hammer, it feels tranquil, with anxiety going out the window as Donghyuck smiles against her lips.

For the first time, she might be called a girlfriend.

And for the first time, she realizes that sometimes love hides in the people she knows, not the people she doesn’t.

#haechan scenarios #haechan x reader #nct scenarios #nct x reader #yuta scenarios #yuta x reader #writing #nct au #nct fluff #nct angst #slice of life!au #haechan au #haechan fluff #haechan angst #long long fic ahead

[sluttyten]

감이 오지? (Can You Feel It)

Yesterday <- || -> Kinktober Masterlist

Day Six: Daddy Kink w/ Shotaro

Word Count: 3,957

** a touch of choking, dominant!Shotaro, and mirror sex. Enjoy!

When you first met Shotaro, you thought he was pure and innocent. A few quick interactions with him over the span of a week, and your mind was changed. In front of the cameras and the fans he was the picture of adorableness, like a baby animal inspiring affection from everyone who looks at it. But behind the cameras, when that act fell, when the sweetly cherubic grin and giggles became a smirk and a challenging glint in his eye, you learned the reality of Osaki Shotaro.

He was a force to be reckoned with.

In your dancing career you’d worked with many teammates, coaches, choreographers, challengers. Shotaro seemed to take on all of those roles.

You had a couple years of experience on him, but there was no denying that he had the talent. He was an idol, you were a backup dancer. And he used his advantage to take charge of the practice room, and it amazed you when the choreographers stepped back and let Shotaro coach you and choreograph you and the other dancers. They sat back and let Shotaro analyze the way all of you moved, spitting out his corrections, singling out dancers who messed up. He was part of this team, but you wouldn’t necessarily know it.

At the end of the first week, you wondered if any of you were going to make it to the stage that you were all prepping for. Shotaro, as well as the choreographers themselves, had many comments and criticisms about all of you. Shotaro more so than the rest because he monitored all of you like a hawk, even where you stood in the back of the choreo all the time, he’d called you out on little mistakes a few times.

The other dancers would grumble, bitching about Shotaro under their breath when he left the room.

“Does he think this is the fucking military?” One of the girls groaned, collapsing to the floor when Shotaro and his manager left the room for a quick phone meeting. “Fuck, like, we don’t have to all be in totally perfect unison.”

On the one hand, you could see that side of things. Shotaro drilled all of you toward perfection, and that could be extremely exhausting. On the other hand, you agreed with Shotaro’s vision. Perfection, nailing each angle and move identically to achieve perfect unison was an impressive sight in choreography.

So you kept your mouth shut about him. You respected him, liked him even more because there was passion in him, a drive you admired, and there was something more that spoke to a deeply-rooted desire in you that you didn’t quite have a name for.

After a week and a half of practicing choreo, it all reached a breaking point. A storm had been building all day—a literal storm brewed outside, as well as the figurative one inside the room. When one of the girls finally snapped at Shotaro, she stormed out of the room, tired of him berating her about getting one move right. To be fair, it was the same move he’d tried telling her how to do properly several times, she was just refusing to listen to his instruction, and as she was taking a notable role in the choreo at that part, her messing up was obvious.

Practice was called to an end then as everyone’s tempers were running a little high. The other girls, the choreographers, and one of Shotaro’s team who’d been there to film the practice for behind the scenes content filed out of the room, leaving only you and Shotaro and his manager behind.

“I’m staying to practice some more, hyung,” Shotaro tells his manager. “I’ll just catch a ride to the dorm some other way.”

You linger at the back of the practice room, inconspicuously moving things around in your bag like you’re actually doing something more than biding time until his manager leaves. You don’t have to wait long. Shotaro’s manager flees as quickly as he can, as if he can escape the sour mood of the room.

When you straighten up from your bag, you see Shotaro watching you in the mirror.

“You didn’t want to run away like the rest of them?” He asks, a tone of annoyance in his voice. “I know they think I’m a dick. That I’m scary.”

You smile a little bit at that. He’s intimidating and a little bit of a control freak, but he’s not a dick and he’s certainly not scary.

“I’m not gonna run away, Shotaro.” You walk closer towards him, and when you’re close enough to touch him, you do. You reach out, pressing a finger to his shoulder, you give a light push. Shotaro’s eyes gleam, his lips tilting in a smirk, his body turning as you follow through with your push, starting to circle him. “I’m not scared of you, sir.”

You turn your back to him so you’re facing the mirror. You watch in the reflection the way his eyes sweep up and down your back, a long look that gives you the confidence to ask for what you want.

“Can you teach me her part in the choreography? I bet I can do it better.” You’re feeling cocky, but it’s not an ungrounded confidence. You know you can do her part in the choreography, you just want to show Shotaro that you know. Maybe then you’ll get a better role.

“Will you actually listen?” Shotaro asks, stepping up behind you, so close you can feel the heat of him. “She can’t seem to handle that.”

You nod, catching his eye in the mirror. “I can handle you. I’ll let you take control, do whatever you say.”

There’s a double meaning behind your words, and you pray Shotaro understands. You’re here for the choreography, but you’re here for him too. The respect and admiration you have for Shotaro isn’t limited just to his abilities as a dancer. He’s hot, and there’s something about the way he commands the room that you find so attractive, so sexy.

Shotaro clicks his tongue, and he tilts his head alongside yours. His breath fans over your cheek, sending your heart into a frenzy you try to hide. He tells you, “Follow my lead.”

He slides away from you, leaving you feeling cold. But you watch him move over to the speakers in the corner as he queues up the music. You move into position.

When the music starts, it’s easy. This part you know by heart, memorized over the last week and a half.

You watch the mirror, the seams in the wall-length mirror frame the room with only you and Shotaro in it. You follow your moves and his, noting the complimentary smooth movements, each angle perfect, each shift in weight timed precisely at the same moment.

It’s different doing this here without the others. Having to locate the proper position without the others there to help coordinate yourself, but you’re also playing a slightly different role now, and as the part comes up of the girl who stormed out earlier, you watch Shotaro even closer, measuring the distance between you and him so you do this perfectly as you move into his space from behind.

You’ve watched them perform this bit a dozen times to unsatisfactory results. She doesn’t ace it the way Shotaro wants, and she doesn’t have the level of chemistry with him that would sell the performance.

As you circle around to stand in front of Shotaro, you try your best to let out all the caged in feelings you have for him. Let it show in your performance, on your face and in the way you move with him.

“Loosen up just a little here,” Shotaro instructs, his arms moving around you, touching you to guide your body into the proper angle, his hands on your arms to move them into the exact position. “Other than that, you’re doing perfect.”

You continue the rest of the song seamlessly, his instruction flowing with the choreography.

When the song finishes, Shotaro moves over to pause the music, before coming back over to where you’ve sat on the floor.

“Let me show it to you exactly. Step by step.” He offers his hand down to you. You slide your hand into his, and Shotaro pulls you to your feet.

He doesn’t start any music as he moves you to stand in front of him. He just hums the counts, slipping easily into the choreography.

This dance is sexy, intimate, in the way that idols perform sexiness and intimacy in a performance through gaze and suggestion. You’ve watched him and the other dancer perform this multiple times over the last week or so. They never touch. It’s always sliding gazes and hands hovering above skin, but there are no points of actual contact when they dance together.

This evening, there is no space.

Shotaro’s hand comes to rest on your waist, his body sliding up behind yours.

It’s not even that there’s no space. There is an utter lack of space, an erasure of the meaning of the word, only clothes exist between your body and his.

You watch Shotaro in the mirror, his body curling around yours, his hand drifting over your belly.

Your entire body thrums with barely-contained desire.

You know this choreography, you know what it’s supposed to look like. You know without a doubt in your mind that you are no longer following choreography.

His hand drifts higher, rising from your belly to your sternum. You pray that he can’t feel your heart making a valiant escape attempt from the cage of your chest. His palm presses right over your desperate pulse.

“Shotaro,” you sigh his name.

“Mm?” He hums, and you swear you can feel it all the way to your core. Your eyes are locked on your reflections in the mirror, the sight of his head bowed over yours, his hand rising yet again to skip over your collarbones, his fingers spreading around your throat. 

He doesn’t squeeze, doesn’t apply any pressure as his hand comes up over your throat, but the picture in the mirror is just too pretty for you to contain yourself. 

A whimper breaks free first. You body giving in to its base desires as your hips rock desperately, needing something. And that encourages Shotaro. He brings his other hand to your hip, holding your hips back against him as he strokes a thumb down the span of your throat, leaning down while lifting his gaze to meet yours in the mirror. His lips are just about brushing your cheek when he asks, “Okay?”

You nod.

“No, I need to hear you say it.” Shotaro’s thumb presses in then, sending a sharp thrill through you that dissolves your feeble brain-to-mouth filter.

“Daddy,” is all that comes out.

But it’s enough.

Shotaro smirks.

You reach for his hands, covering each of his with your own. You press your fingers against his around your throat, and your other hand pushes his hand at your waist down beneath your shorts. 

“Touch me,” you beg, rolling your hips forward, curling your hands against both of his.

He pauses there, waiting. His fingers circling your throat, his other hand dipped just beneath the band of your shorts. Shotaro rocks his hips forward slowly, his body fits so perfectly against yours that you can feel all of your senses going a little haywire already. 

“Look at you,” he coos softly, “Already so desperate for me, and I haven’t even touched you yet?”

You moan in response, rolling your hips back in circles against his growing erection. Shotaro’s fingers bump your chin, tipping your chin up so you’re looking yourself in the face in the mirror. You do look desperate for it. His hand looks so nice around your throat, a pretty necklace to compliment the way his hand looks as he buries it deeper inside your shorts.

The bulge of his hand in the material of your shorts is obscene, especially considering that if you flick your gaze just a little to the right, you can see the door to the practice room reflected in the mirror. The door isn’t locked, nor is it solid. There are window panes on either side of the door as well as a panel of glass set into the door. The hour is late, but not late enough that the company building is abandoned. If anyone were to walk by or–god forbid–step inside the room, what the two of you are doing would be incredibly obvious.

Not that Shotaro seems all that bothered at the moment. 

His hand glides lower, skimming fingertips down into the heat, slipping over your clit, fingers spreading through your pussy lips to get to where you’re wettest. 

All you can do is try to keep your head up, eyes fixed on you and him in the mirror. Try to keep quiet because you know how sounds echo from this room. That’s so difficult to do when Shotaro is swirling his fingers over your clit, replacing his hand on your neck with his lips.

“I wanna hear you say it again,” Shotaro murmurs against your throat. 

“Daddy,” you moan without any further prompting.

He smiles at you in the mirror. “Good girl.”

You can’t help thinking of the sweet face Shotaro shows to the fans, starkly in contrast to his expression right now. He looks like he could eat you alive, in the best possible way, watching closely every change of your expression–the way that your mouth goes a little slack when he explores deeper inside your shorts, teasing his fingers there at your entrance. He grinds his hips against your ass in circles that match his movements against your clit. Your head sinks back against his shoulder, but still you watch your reflection.

The pair of you look good together like this. 

It’s explicit, obscene, this dance you both improvise. Your bodies roll together; Shotaro’s erection fits firmly in the cleft of your ass, and soon he’s moaning in your ear as your ass squeezes around his covered bulge. His fingers work quick circles over your clit. You watch as your knees buckle a little. Shotaro’s arm goes tight around your waist.

“Can Daddy fuck you?” He asks, grinding forward slowly, drawing out the sensation. 

All reservations about the unlocked door of the practice room, the possibility of being caught, all of those fly out of your mind, replaced instead by the overwhelming need to be dicked down by Shotaro right here, right now in front of this mirror in the practice room.

“Yes, God, please.” You reach for the waistband of your shorts, already pushing them down before Shotaro can get another word out. “Fuck, Shotaro.”

His hands twist in your shorts, dragging them down the rest of the way, and you look up into the mirror to see him admiring your bare ass in the moment right before he brings his hand down against it. “What did you call me?”

Shotaro, you’re tempted to say again, but you know what he wants to hear. “Daddy, I’m sorry.”

“Good girl,” he says, ducking in to peck you quickly on the cheek. “Now get on your hands and knees.”

The practice room’s flood is hard on your knees immediately. You face the mirror, watching Shotaro reach his hand inside his sweatpants, eagerly awaiting him pulling his cock out. He doesn’t disappoint. His cock is thick and heavy in his hand when he reveals it, and you wish you had more of a chance to admire it, perhaps the chance to suck his cock, but Shotaro drops to his knees behind you, his hands once again landing on your hips and your ass. 

Your entire body is flushed with the heat of your arousal as Shotaro slicks his fingers up against your weeping pussy. “Gonna be so sweet for Daddy, aren’t you? Finally getting what you’ve been wanting, right? Do you think I haven’t seen you during practice, watching me from the back? I’ve been watching you too, sweetheart.”

“Watching me too?” You ask, losing yourself in a gasp as Shotaro sinks two fingers into you. 

“Couldn’t you feel me watching you?” Shotaro asks. “You sure seemed like you were putting on a show sometimes when I watched you in the mirror.”

Of course you were. You were practicing for a performance. Though, admittedly, there had been a few occasions when you had thought you’d seen Shotaro’s attention lingering on you, and perhaps you’d put a touch more into looking sexy. But you weren’t about to admit that aloud to him.

Shotaro fucks you on his fingers, scissoring them inside you. “Gotta make sure you’re ready to take me,” he explains when you drop your head forward between your shoulders with a whine and a desperate push back of your hips.

“No, I’m ready. I can take it.” You lean down on your elbows, rocking yourself back on his fingers. “Just give it to me, Daddy.”

Shotaro hesitates for only a moment, and then he’s moving, pressing forward, nudging his cock up against your entrance, his fingers sliding down to entertain your clit instead, and there he goes, pushing into you. You moan, lowering your face into your arms. Shotaro is big, thick and heavy as he draws deeper inside you. All you can do is breathe through it, adjusting to him.

“Does it feel good?” Shotaro asks, his tone teasing as he pulls back slightly to give a little thrust. A garbled sound is all that escapes you, to his amusement. “Can you feel it, sweetheart? Or should I do it a little harder?”

Another garbled sound from you, though you hope this one sounds like encouragement. He feels so… filling. Stretching you around him in a way that leaves you feeling complete in that moment. And when he starts moving, giving shallow thrusts at first, your eyes roll and you have to keep your head buried in your arms. 

Slowly the steady rolling of Shotaro’s hips grows more intense. Bigger thrusts with bigger reward. Your heartbeat is ever-present in your pussy and in your belly and everywhere, even in your fingertips as your attempt to push up from the floor at last, wanting to look at the image of the two of you reflected in the mirror.

It’s a pretty sight. Shotaro’s head is bowed, watching his cock disappear inside you, watching the way your pussy stretches and hugs his cock. His hair is damp at the temples, curled a little in front of his face. He’s so handsome in that moment, so sexy and cute and crushworthy, all you want is to twist back around and drag him into a kiss.

But before you can go about initiating the change in position, Shotaro gives one particularly sharp- and well-aimed thrust that knocks the strength right out of you. Your arms give out again, and you once more bury your face against them. 

Shotaro picks up a steady stream of fuckfuckfuck, and you feel as if you’re not too far from it either. His fingers work rapidfire on your clit, his other hand reaches for your hair, pushing his fingers through it like he’s about to yank on it (which you really wish he would because damn that would feel so good), but instead he brushes your hair aside in favor of curling his fingers once more around your throat.

Your gasp of surprise catches as Shotaro applies pressure to your throat just right, skilled like he actually knows what he’s doing, his thumb pressing in. Your eyes roll, your heart pounding, a thrill racing through you. 

Shotaro choking you is that perfect strike of flint, the spark that sets you alight. 

Your orgasm rocking through you does nothing to slow Shotaro. He fucks you through it until your thighs are twitching, your eyes roll and stream with tears. His fingers are still fast-moving on your clit. This is much, much more than you could have hoped for–the sweet, innocent Shotaro you’d first met a little over a week ago is long gone, replaced by this dominant Shotaro who keeps pressing into you even as you’re tipping into overstimulation.

His fingers slip from your throat, and you gasp in a clear breath, exhaling his name.

Shotaro’s fingers twist in your hair, pulling you up so your back is against his chest, holding your head up so all you can see is your face, teary-eyed and flushed with arousal, staring back at you from the mirror. 

“Look at yourself, pretty girl, look at how good I make you feel.” Shotaro’s lips are against your ear, his breath hot on your cheek. “I hope you think about me, about Daddy’s cock deep in your belly, every time you’re in this room, looking in this mirror while you try to dance.”

You somewhat doubt that you’ll ever look in a mirror again without thinking of this. 

Shotaro holds you there like this, faced with yourself in the mirror as he continues thrusting into you, your body rocking on hands and knees, your face contorting with the pleasure as Shotaro finally hits his breaking point.

You lift your gaze to his face as Shotaro cums. You watch his face crumple, his mouth fall open as he moans for you, moans in relief while he pulls out of you. You can’t see, but you can feel, as Shotaro jerks off over your ass, his cum splattering over your lower back, painting your ass, dripping down the cleft of your cheeks over your pussy.

Shotaro slumps back onto his heels on the floor, his breath coming hard and heavy for a few moments. You finally let your legs slide out from under you, bury your face in your arms again, and you lie there like that to recover, not even caring that your bare cum-covered ass is out for the world to see.

It’s only when Shotaro regains his senses, tucking his cock away, crawling over your stretched out form, that you’re covered up. You make a half-formed sound when you feel him shimmying your shorts back up your legs, up over the sticky mess he left on you. Shotaro’s hands settle on either side of your hips as he leans over you. His lips touch against your shoulder, his fingers brush against your hair.

“Hello? Are you okay?” His voice is light, teasing. “Did my cock knock you out, pretty girl?”

You twist around beneath him, rolling onto your back. Shotaro grins, cocky and pleased with himself at how dazed and dick-drunk you still look. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asks, and you only have time to nod halfway before Shotaro kisses you, his lips warm and intoxicating, making you forget that you’re still on the floor of the practice room. That all of this has transpired in the practice room, on what is probably a less-than-sanitary floor. But he’s kissing you, and you can’t bring yourself to care about anything other than that.

Your fingers twist in the front of Shotaro’s shirt, holding him there, keeping him kissing you until you’re both breathless. 

Shotaro drops a last peck to your lips, and as he sits up, lifting himself away from you, you try to draw him back in for one more. He only laughs, tapping a finger against your lips. “Ah, ah, pretty girl. It’s getting late.” He sits back on his heels to watch you push up onto your elbows, and then he asks, with a grin that throws you back to the cherubic version of him you first met, “Do you think you could give me a ride home?”

#shotaro smut #nct smut #nct dream smut #nct fic #nct #shotaro #nct kinktober #kinktober #kinktober 2022 #this was a long one oops i feel like the lengths of these get longer each time

[miyasi]

pairing: Renjun x gn! reader

genre: hurt and comfort

warnings: injuries, blood, written with sh in mind

note: I didn’t know how to end it but I hope you enjoy 😭

The injury on his arm stings, he doesn’t even know what he’s supposed to be doing but the pain feels deserved. Not too much as in he loves it, and sure hell he doesn’t hate it. It feels deserved.

“Oh gosh, Renjun.” He started to tear up. Biting his lips and body going completely numb. You walk quickly up to him. His head spins. Renjun shivers, uncomfortable and twitchy. Your arm wrap around his body, warming up his cold shivering body.

“I’m here, ‘m promise.” He tugged heavily on your shirt, embracing you in to a big warm hug, crying in to the crook of your neck. You hold his waist with one hand and pat his hair with the other. Renjun stops shivering and moving around, he’s calming down.

You peeked at the injury, his leg shaking and tense in pain. It felt like burns, needles piercing through his body.

“I’m sorry for lying-“

“Don’t be.” “You aren’t.” That was a blunt lie, Renjun didn’t want you to worry, he always lied. You wrapped your blanket around him, warming him up even more.

“I feel so dirty.” He started lashing on his skin, lightly and hiddenly scratching his waist where you couldn’t really see, you could tell he’s hiding it from you by his small movements and using his sleeves to cover up his actions. You grabbed both of his hands by the wrist and held both of them together.

“Let me go.” He said desperately. Of course, you knew. Renjun got annoyed of you knowing him so well.

“I can’t trust you with yourself right now.”

“Please.” Renjun started crying again.

Your heart tightened, you lend a few kisses on his cheek and forehead. You trusted Renjun with your whole heart, but just a slip away and he might just be gone. You loved Renjun too much to let that happen.

“Why do you care?”

“You know the answer to that.” As much as he loved you too, he couldn’t see a better future because he didn’t have one. Renjun knew dying better than he knew himself. Despite making him feel better, Renjun didn’t want you to waste all your time on such a person like him. You didn’t deserve a person like him, he wasn’t ever enough for you, he wasn’t worth it at all-

“You aren’t an object Renjun.” Fuck, here goes you knowing him too well again, it’s like you can read his mind or something.

“I-“

“Don’t ever think you’re not enough.” Goosebumps, it’s the “discipline” voice.

“Alright?” You pampered his face with small kisses, from his forehead to his jawline. You let his hands go, swung them over your shoulders and leaned in.

Renjun kissed you, deeply. Tears still streaming down his cheeks. Although his problems never went away but as long as you were there, he didn’t need to think about his self-worth.

His body filled with bliss, the moment you kissed back.

It was enough, he felt enough.

#kpop #kpopidol #nct #nct dream #gn reader #male reader #female reader #nct x reader #renjun x reader #renjun imagines #renjun #renjun nct #clearing drafts #omfg it’s been so long since ive seen this fic ;-;

[noramoons]

okay while we’re all posting our year-end summaries, i think sharing some 2023 content creator goals could be fun? put ‘em in the tags or in the comments if you wanna!✨

#i’ll start w a few of mine: #1. start writing for seventeen and nct 🫶 #2. write more shorter fics (since i have a tendency to only brainstorm big long series and then get overwhelmed 💀) #3. experiment with styles/genres more? i do still rlly want to write smthn with an unreliable narrator and i think getting into writing — #—something horror based could be fun too #4. moodtober 2023?? but only if genie can help me think of 31 more horror movies LMAO

[kokobopam]

I love making lists and I love reccing fics so I combined my two passions and made this list with all my favorite fics that I read during 2022! First part is tvxq, super junior, shinee and nct; and the seconds part is exclusively exo because they’re my main group. 

I hope you can find something here that you like. And if you do, make sure you let the author know with some kudos and comments <3

(And come talk to me about it! I love talking about fics!)

PART 2

PART 1:

TVXQ

It’s Alright (Even if You Hate me Again) by zimriya (homin, E, Inception AU)

The inception fic!! If you follow me on twt you know I haven’t shut up about this story since I read it in june. It’s my favorite tvxq fic and top 3 favorite fic ever. 

As usual, zimriya’s world building is on another level; this fic combines the best of the inception universe with tvxq’s own history in a way that’s absolutely brilliant and it’ll have you guessing what’s going on with yunho and changmin for most part of the story. 

Also, Yunho and Changmin… 10/10 characterization (as well as all the other characters!) Seriously, so good

and in the name of love. by peachxi (marsxholic) (homin, M, angels and demons)

So much blood and violence and angst, and the question “what if love made you worse”? I love an au where the characters are willing to bring the world apart for each other.

memento mori by troubled (homin, M)

A dark tvxq fic. I love the hazy, nightmarish feel of it and that you can really tell what’s actually real and what isn’t. Also, religious imagery!!

so tear me open, but beware by jumpstarts (homin, M)

This is basically a drabble collection and it’s what introduced me to the tvxq ficdom (and inspired me to give it a try). Many excellent stories to fall in love (and even get your heart broken) with homin.

Super Junior

lucky draw by backwardsghost (eunhae, E, Gloomy VCR inspired)

I love this fic because it’s so fucked up and dark and you don’t see that a lot in the eunhae tag. Really the best interpretation of the gloomy vcr you could ever find

be my only one by smth_or_another (kyuhyuk, E, canon compliant, roomates)

One thing I discovered this year is that I love canon compliant fics and there’s so much that can be said about two +30 y/o men living in a dorm together through a pandemic. I love kyuhyuck and this fic made me love them even more.

Break my heart and start again by rmbringsoo (eunhae, E, sports AU)

A hockey player/figure skater eunhae fic. It does such a great job at characterization and at portraying the difficulties of navigating a relationship amidst a successful career. A really beautiful story.

Shinee

Let's crack the code for nights by spacewitchbot  (minkey, M, idolverse)

What would happen if you could install Minho’s personality on your phone? Wonderful fic, it made me laugh so much and minkey were super cute in it.

Apsis by Tempcard (minkey, T, sci-fi, space religion)

I’m seriously in love with the worldbuilding in this fic. It’s very different to what I’m used to reading in a sci-fi story and the approach to the characters, their drive and devotion was really heart-warming 

something i can't forget by makeawish (misconceptionsof) (minkey, E, pwp)

I don’t read a lot of smut but this fic was so HOT and so on point. It sent my into a minkey spiral and I still haven't recovered from it.

NCT

The Girasol by MailOrderBride (hyuckle, E, pirates, horror)

“You see, bard… the sea has a starving belly. It's never sated, and it rumbles down below. Deep.” Such a well written and chilling fic. I hope I never find myself on a ship in the open sea, thank you. 

Softer Than Shadow, Quicker Than Flies by FascinationStreet (Taeyong, E, dreams and nightmares)

A Taeyong-centric fic inspired by his song ghost. It’s dark and creepy and sexy…just everything I love. Lot’s of spider imagery, how nice!

Ophiuchus by boulevarddouble (yuwoo, E, bartenders and criminals)

Yuta is a grifter. He's also a regular at the bar where Jungwoo works. Sexy fic about sexy criminals, that's all you should know.

#thank you for reading! #sorry if this is long but I read around 200 fics this year #so picking up 13 was an exercise in restraint lol #tvxq #super junior #suju #shinee #nct #nct 127 #nct dream #minkey #eunhae #homin #kyuhyuk #hyuckle #yuwoo #fics #fanfics #fic rec #kokobopam 2022 fic recs

[toxicrevolver]

Tagged by @loveable-sea-lemon thanks for the tag!!!

Last Song: Birthday by Ten

Last Movie: Tangled (a little over a week ago. I rarely watch movies)

Currently Watching: I’m still working on Shameless and The Devils Plan (it’s been like a month now. The Devils Plan isn’t even that long I just never have enough brain power to watch it)

Other Stuff Watched This Year: Kinnporsche, Dead End: Paranormal Park, Black Bird, The Crowded Room (THIS WAS SO GOOD. but it’s an apple tv exclusive), several shark/ocean documentaries. I’ve probably watched more shit but memory bad. I remember watching these shows tho and the fact I hyperfixated on sharks/the ocean for like 2 months.

Shows I Dropped: I haven’t dropped any shows recently just bcs I haven’t really been watching any, but I dropped Merlin, Supernatural, and Once Upon A Time several times. I want to finish them but I get to certain seasons and just get bored.

Currently Reading: so many fanfiction. Like so so many. My google chrome doesnt even show a number it’s just :) and it’s a hodgepodge of so many fandoms (I’m not about to get cancelled for what I read). After my tumblr scroll tho I need to read the new chapter of what’s one more? (bad decision) by @loveable-sea-lemon (I am obsessed with this fic in the best way possible. I apologize for nothing.)

Currently Listening To: my current on repeat songs are I Am You by P1Harmony, Birthday by Ten, and Jopping by SuperM (don’t ask) but current repeat albums are Golden Age by NCT, On My Youth by WayV, and Fact Check by NCT 127 (I’ve told y’all the NCT brain rot is real)

Currently Working On: nothin. I’m scrolling tumblr after posting this and readin fanfic bcs it’s my day off. Should I clean my room? Yes. Am I going to? No.

I’m not tagging anyone but if anyone wants to participate they can blame me!!

#tag game #about the weirdo who runs this blog #hi my vegaspete friend!!! #<-that’s you’re current tag now. if you’d like a different one let me know. #I’d say kinnporsche friend/moot but that title is taken in my brain. #my moot/friend tagging system isn’t very affective when y’all run in two different circles. either K-pop or kinnporsche. #why do I over answer everything. I blame the trauma. #ANYWHO. #I’m serious about the NCT brain rot it’s killing me. I just wanna learn Kingdom already but I CANT #and I genuinely love the macuatay fic. i love rarepairs with my entire soul. #it’s taking me so long to watch the devils plan bcs I need brain power to watch shows in other languages so I can comprehend subtitles. #plus it’s a game survival show thing so I gotta read/understand mega complicated game rules.

[jaevie]

hello i buckled down and read the peace in her arms this morning and i could not resist telling you how wonderful it was! i'd been craving to read a long and deep jaehyun fic that isn't set in the real world and more fantasy/mythological based these days (esp with the fact check deity teasers) and what you wrote was beyond what i'd even imagined! and i like that the reader felt so very human. ofc bcs she is mortal but shes also very much a girl and a woman and a wife and you did so well describing everything it was so amazing. tpiha is probably my fic of the year. i'm so glad i read it and i'm so happy you wrote and uploaded it. thank you for the fic (i have to ask how long did it take for you to write?? bc it was beyond STUNNING

Hi there! Thank you SO much for taking your time and telling me what you thought, it means so much to me! I am also super happy that you liked the fic and the characters!

It took me two weeks to write it! Which is fun because I was going through a writer’s block, but whenever I sat down to write, the words would not stop coming out, haha.

Once again, thank you so much! I hope you have a lovely day 🤍

#jaehyun #jaehyun x reader #nct 127 #if you want to read a long dark romance fic with jae #just check my blog #💖💖💖 #thank you so much again anon!! #the peace in her arms #asks

[nczennie]

NCT 00′ LINE HOGWARTS DRABBLE

Part of a Hogwarts Collection Hogwarts!AU Pairing: Reader x Jeno Featuring: Ravenclaw!Reader, Hufflepuff!Jeno Genre: Angsty, Fluffy Warnings: Some minor language

Taglist:  @flower-lise @heyyyun @sunflowerhae @neocityfile @winc1ty @imgettinlocoloco @ashkuuuu @marklexleaf @cookydream @dnylwoo @sanisms @juoirs @luvdroids @yuxnan​ @jenyoonoh

Ashamed and embarrassed is the understatement of the year to describe how Hufflepuff!Jeno feels about the last encounter he had with you at the party. The aftermath of the fight he had was enough for the magic from the liquid luck to wear off and he knew immediately he ruined everything with you; both romantically, platonically, and hell even strictly as a tutor. He hadn't dared to show up at another tutoring session, he wasn't sure you would either, but he would rather fail the class a hundred times over than to face you after what a complete fool he's been.

Either way, the guilt is something he continues to live with especially as the semester comes closer to ending and before anyone knows it, it will be time to graduate.

"What are you going to do?" Slytherin!Jaemin asks his friend as the two of them sit at a table in the library. Jeno had just gotten his grade on his last Muggle Studies assignment and it was another below passing grade, which wouldn't have come as a surprise if your tutoring hadn't helped him with the last couple assignments. But unfortunately for him, Jeno's professor informed him he would need at least a B on his final to get a passing grade in the course after his rocky grades all year. The Hufflepuff is especially stressed knowing this single grade could cost him his graduation.

Jeno only shrugs at his friend, he is at a complete loss, "I guess I'll have to study harder, quidditch is done so I'll have more time". Jaemin frowns at him, "A tutor would help though, wouldn't it?" The other boy shakes his head knowing it's not an option to ask for another tutor when his professor already assigned him a great one that he happened to mess up. Jaemin sighs, "Look, tutor or not, don't you want to apologize for what you did?" Before replying Jeno licks his lips, "Of course I do, but it's not that easy. I embarrassed myself and ruined everything I can't just talk to her again, she probably wouldn't allow it". "It doesn't matter if she forgives you or not, you were not yourself that night and you made a huge mistake so you should apologize for it no matter how she reacts. Hell, you should apologize to Hyunjin too but I know that's pushing it". Jaemin raises his eyebrows as Jeno sends him a dirty look, but he continues his speech, "We're almost done here and going to be sent to the real word, don't you want to get everything off your shoulders? Start your life with no guilt or regrets?"

---

Jeno ponders over Jaemin's words for the next couple of days, especially has he spends most of his time in the library trying to cram a semester worth of learning into a couple of weeks. Within his time reading and trying to focus, he still can't help but let his mind wander, especially to thoughts of you.

You were so kind and smart, patient with him and your witty sense of humor was intriguing. Not to mention Jeno was one hundred percent sure you were the most beautiful person he had ever laid eyes on. Yet despite all this he should've known he had no chance the moment he knew you had a boyfriend. He knew from his friends this year that getting in the way of someone's relationship is messy but there was something inside of him that ticked knowing the person he hated the most was the one who had to when he couldn't. Jeno sighs running his hands over his face, no matter what, he knew Jaemin was right and he had to apologize to you for horrible way he acted that night.

---

Just get through this chapter, Jeno repeats to himself over and over in his mind as he stares at his textbook in front of him with heavy eyes. The library was going to close soon, only a few students lingering around, so the silence was not helping him focus but instead slowly lulling him to sleep. As he feels his eyes start to flutter he quickly shoots up and shakes his head, though he does need to study, falling asleep would do little to help him memorize the material. With a huff he gathers his belongings and stands up walking towards the exit with the intention of heading back to his room and hoping a shower would wake him up.

However, as he turns the corner his notices your familiar figure at a lone table in the corner, your own materials spread around you. Jeno stops in his tracks as he takes in your concentrated state, suddenly Jaemin's words lingered in his mind. This could be his chance to make his apologies. He took a deep breath and loosened his tie a bit before walking over and taking a seat at your table across from you. He dreaded this conversation but he knew you deserved an apology for the way he acted.

Surprised by the sudden intrusion, you look up from your work, eyebrows knitting in confusion at the boy in front of you that you haven't seen in awhile. Not quite sure what to you, you swallow and send him a tight smile before returning your gaze to your studies.

Jeno hate's the smile you give him. One that you would give strangers or people you secretly can't stand- though he supposes now he might be both of those things to you. He clears his throat before talking, making sure his voice is still quiet enough for the library, "I owe you an apology".

At his words you place your quil down before meeting his gaze, head tilting as you meet his gaze with a sarcastic smile, "Me? Or the guy you tried to fight perhaps?" you raise his eyebrows at him. The Hufflepuff lets out a sigh, "Well both of you, but you especially. I was an idiot that night. No, not even that night, but since I met you and even after for how long it's taken me to apologize to you". You don't speak for a second, merely setting your gaze on his face and let it linger as you think. At your quietness and your roaming eyes Jeno begins to feel his face flush, from embarrassment or shame he wasn't really sure. "What do you mean since you met me? I always thought you were so sweet, I didn't know what an idiot you actually were until the party", you finally voice your thoughts.

His stomach drops as you agree with his words but pushes forwards to explain himself. He just wanted to get everything off of his chest. "It's really stupid, but I like you okay? I really like you a lot, like a lot a lot." he starts to ramble sneaking a glance at you looking at him intently. Jeno suddenly realizes he's confessing to you and averts his eyes once again. "Anyways, look, if I had known you had a boyfriend of course I would never had done something, I'm not that type of person," he shakes his head at himself ashamed. "But knowing Hyunjin was your boyfriend just caused something to snap in me," he pauses to look at you again, watching as you quickly sit up straighter at the mention of the other boy. "It's immature, I know, but Hyunjin has been my rival since we started at Hogwarts and just knowing that he out of all people is the one to have your heart just drove me crazy. I acted out of hand that night, I really wasn't myself and there was just this insane part of me that wanted to take my chance with you no matter what it would cost me. And unfortunately for me, it cost me you".

You sigh at his confession, turning to look at the bookshelves beside you as you shake your head, "You really are an idiot Jeno". Jeno gulps at your words, moving his eyes to focus of the blue of your tie instead of the obvious disappointment in your features.

"First of all," you speak again, this time turn your attention fully on him, "I would like to point out that I do not have a boyfriend".

Jeno sucks in a breath so fast he nearly chokes at your confession. "So I'm pretty sure that makes you an even bigger idiot than if I was actually dating Hyunjin." You glare at him as his eyes start to flutter as he moves them around to avoid your gaze. "Second of all," you start again, "I would like to acknowledge the fact that I too grew quite fond of you during our tutoring sessions. One could even say I had a crush on you". The Hufflepuff across from you squeezes his eyes shut, mind racing as he thinks of how much he really blew it with you. The more you talk the more you talk the worse he feels and at this point he wanted nothing more for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. "And thirdly, even now this whole misunderstanding is out in the open, why exactly would I want to be with someone who fought my best friend?".

Jeno runs his sweaty hand through his hair before finally letting his eyes meet your own, "Look I swear I didn't come and talk to you because I wanted another chance. The way I acted at the party was horrible and I came him with the intention of apologizing for that but also knowing an apology wouldn't be able to fix anything. I knew before that the chances of you never wanting to talk to me again are high but I couldn't let us graduate and move on with our lives without me saying sorry for my actions, because I truly am".

You drum your fingers against the table at his words, honestly you were unsure of what to think. Jeno seemed liked the biggest sweetheart when you tutoried him, you enjoyed his company and his smile. But after how he acted at the party you figured maybe you didn't know him as well as you thought. Hearing his apology know he seemed genuine enough, you know jealousy can cause people to make awful choices but you didn't know if that could excuse his actions. You don't know if you were fully ready to forgive the boy yet, but you figured you could make a compromise.

"Muggle studies?", you ask him. He looks at you confused, not the response he thought he was going to get. You speak again, "Is that what you're studying here so late?" Jeno mouth slightly opens at the realization, "Oh, yeah. Our final test is soon so I'm trying to cram".

From your time tutoring him, you knew Jeno didn't do well studying topics he didn't enjoy alone, that's why he need your help in the first place. "Let me guess, the last test will be a make it or break it for your grade". The Hufflepuff chuckles sheepishly, nodding to confirm your suspicions. You lick your lips before announcing your proposal, "I don't know if I can truly forgive you, at least at this point. But, I will help you study for your test". Jeno lights up at your offer but you cut him off before he can reply, "But only if you apologize to Hyunjin first".

---

The next day at lunch Jeno sits besides his friends but he is too fidgety to properly eat. He can't stop his leg from shaking and he continuously gazes at the exit. At some point he finally notices you and Hyunjin making your exit and he takes a deep breath before standing up drawing the attention of his friends. "Where are you going?" Ravenclaw!Renjun asks in confusion as he sees Jeno hadn't finished eating yet is rushing to leave. "I need to talk with Hwang Hyunjin". He replies before making his way out of the dining hall leaving his friends baffled. "Are we going to have to follow him to stop another fight?" Slytherin!Haechan asks, never in a million years thinking that Jeno and Hyunjin would ever be anything close to friendly. Jaemin merely shakes his head, "Nah, I don't think there will be any fighting today".

---

"Hey!" Jeno yells at you and Hyunjin down the hall, attempting to stop you both before you got to far. You both stop and look at the Hufflepuff boy jogging to catch up with you, your friend stiffening next to you when he sees who it is. "Sorry, don't really fancy a fight today" Hyunjin mumbles, rolling his eyes before turning to leave. But before you he can make his exit you grab his arm, stopping him as he looks at you confused. You merely give him a pointed look, nodding your head to point to Jeno.

Once Hyunjin faces him again, Jeno takes a breath before speaking. "I wanted to apologize to you. For the party, for how I talked to you and the fight. I was under the influence even though that doesn't excuse my actions. I'm sorry for my jealousy and imaturness. I know we've never had the best relationship," Hyunjin scoffs at the understatement. "But I should have never let our rivalry go far enough to get physical." Jeno breathes out a sigh as he finishes his speech, "Anyways, I just wanted to apologize for my behavior and for the fight". He nods at the boy before turning to take his leave before anyone else had a chance to speak

Hyunjin turns to you after watching Jeno's back as he leaves, "I must be going crazy right? No way in hell Lee Jeno just had a pleasant conversation with me, let alone offer an apology".

---

The library is more lively in the morning Jeno realizes, but he accepts the chatter around him as background noise to help him concentrate. Renjun promised to meet him here after his next class to attempt to help him study but lately Jeno has been spending all of his freetime running over material on his own.

"What chapter are you on?"

The Hufflepuff looks up in surprise as someone takes the empty seat next to him, eyes widening when he sees you. He stumbles over his shock for a second before he speaks his answer, "Chapter 10". You hum pursing your lips and moving your head slightly to look at his notes. Jeno moves his journal closer to you, speaking up once again, "I didn't think you would help me". Tilting your head to look at him you reply truthfully, "Just to be clear, this doesn't necessarily mean that I fully forgive you. That night at the party was rough". You shrug, "On the other hand, you did what I asked and apologized to Hyunjin. I know it must have been really hard considering how long you guys have had this tough relationship, but you did it anyway".

"I hope you don't think I only did it to have you tutor me," Jeno says, "I should've done it anyways, as my friend pointed out, but we're all going to be leaving here soon and I don't want to carry immature grudges into the real world".

You give him a small smile, nodding your head, "I'm glad you feel that way". Jeno smiles back, happy to see one of your smiles, even a small one, directed at him once again. You sigh sitting up a little straighter, "Okay, let's get to work".

☁️ previous -- next ☁️

Copyright © 2022 by nczennie. All rights reserved.

#shes kinda a long one #also im really feeling hyunjin lately #mine #hw fic #jeno #jeno fluff #jeno drabble #jeno angst #jeno fanfic #jeno scenario #nct fanfic #nct #nct imagine #nct fluff #nct angst #nct au #kpop imagines #kpop au #kpop fanfic rec

[n0hyuck]

missing the jeno sugar baby community, where are y’all😞

#it’s been a long time since i read/saw a fic with this trope #WHERE’S MY PEOPLE😩 #jeno #nct dream #nct jeno #nct dream smut #jeno sugar baby

[januaryrabbit]

hi everyone here's my current wip list!!!!:

seventeen with a crush on their roommate's friend (+their roommate's reactions): fluff!! - how svt would act around you, their roomie's cute friend :] currently 1.7k

nct dream as boyfriends series: pure fluff lolol - pretty self explanatory. i just love imagining dating the boys!!!- <1k

office au haechan x female reader: SLOWBURN<3 fluff and mutual pining, non-idol au - haechan is your annoying coworker who never seems to leave you alone. after bailing you out one day, donghyuck insists you return the favor in a way of his own choosing, to which you begrudgingly agree. the more time you spend with him, you find yourself starting to have confusing, romantic feelings for him. the problem is that you work together under the same boss, and dating seems to be prohibited between employees. :( i expect this to be pretty long, it's self-indulgent/based on some personal experiences working in offices myself and being out of college but i hope people enjoy/can relate in some ways nonetheless. this idea came to me after i spilled coffee on myself lol. considering making this a 00line series where they're your coworkers bc i started having a million ideas about a jaemin one too AHAHA but we will see how committed i am eheh. currently 7.4k.

college au dino x female reader: kinda slowburn, fluff, friends to lovers - freshly broken up with, you seek out your two old friends from high school: vernon and seungkwan. you begin to spend a lot of time with them and eventually become acquainted with their large group of friends, including their roommate, lee chan who has had a small crush on you since you met years ago. what'll happen now that you're freshly single? currently outlining this, it's based on personal experiences too so i hope people can relate to this one a bit as well! the idea for this came to me and since then i haven't been able to get it out of my head ehehe

soft hours and requests are open for rn! :] i don't have many followers or post but. Yeah LOL

#mina_text #my brain hurts from how badly i want to write the haechan fic LMAOOOO #haech fic might be a 4 times +1 if im committed enough.. #excited to put out svt content too #im considering making a series of slowburn long fics for each of my ult biases hehehe #haechan-dino-soobin-yunho-juyeon<3 #and the 00 line series like i wanna do it but man that would be so much WORK #nct x reader #seventeen x reader #haechan x reader #dino x reader #lee donghyuck x reader #lee chan x reader #seventeen scenarios #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream fluff #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #if it wasnt embarrassing clear. i love haechan

[vickylamore]

We haven't hit 500 yet but it's so close. The fics will be released the day (or two) with hit 500 😭😭

#oh lord #they all will be released #BT WHICH ONE DO YOU GUYS WANT FIRST #these will be long fics btw #like minimum 6k #oh LORDD #vickylamore #vickywritings #nct #nct x reader #nct dream #nct dream x reader #ateez #ateez x reader #vickyscreams #vickyupdates

[atinyidea]

If I made the executive decision to write all the fics I have in my drafts in bullet point format instead of long-form prose would anyone still be interested? I think there's like 87 fics there that I have all the major plot points bulleted already sooooo.....

#writing long form prose is litterally killing me but i still have ideas i want to share so #i used to bulelt point fics back in like 2017 #i could do it again!! #bon.txt #ateez #stray kids #bts #nct #kpop #kpop fic