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lauralot89 · 7 years

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1, 7, 17, 77, 71, 11, 20-29

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

I just use my iPod or Youtube because I’m a heathen.

7. what color hair do you have?

Technically auburn I suppose but I just call it red, or ginger, or orange in the sunlight, or the greatest color.

17. how many times a week do you shower?

Every other day, except when I work out it’s every day following the working out, and I’ve been working out most every day since January so I guess every day

77. do you miss anyone right now?

YOU

AND ALSO RYN AND LOU AND TEDDY

MILO MISSES YOU TOO, IN HIS WEIRD JIBBY WAY

71. tea or coffee?

I don’t like leaf water under any circumstance. Bean water’s only okay when it’s made into ice cream

11. favorite social media account

Tumblr, solely because of the people I associate with here and also my occasionally popular shitposts

20. how tall are you?

5′ 5 1/2″, approximately an inch and a half shorter than Napoleon Bonaparte

Except he’s probably shorter than that now, giving the erosion of his flesh and musculature

21. sandals or sneakers?

Bare feet or bear feet

22. do you go to the gym?

I used to occasionally go to the Y until I realized I was so damn lazy and antisocial that I’d find any excuse not to go, so I just shoved an exercise bike under my work desk instead so I’d have no excuse

23. describe your dream date

First there’d be really good sushi and then a horror movie and then a walk around a nice park either shouting about the movie or discussing nerdy things and then there’s be exchanges of books and petting of cats

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

135 USD.

25. what color socks are you wearing?

I am barefoot. Earlier I had on a pair that were white and gray.

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

There are two on my bed but I’m only using one at any given time

27. do you have a job? what do you do?

I work in tech support. It’s as glorious as it sounds.

28. how many friends do you have?

I think about eighteen.

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?

Either the time in high school when I was working at the movie theater and there was no one there and I was just absentmindedly tapping items on the cash register out of boredom and then accidentally hit the button that signified like about a billion items had been paid for and I didn’t know how to void it and just sort of never told anyone and hoped that it would turn out okay because that money wasn’t in the register but we clearly hadn’t sold that much product either but still, and eventually a coworker was fired for stealing and I always wondered if she got blamed for my fuckery

Or the time in freshman year of college when I asked you what your sexuality was out of the blue because Sara and her friend Lauren had asked me and I didn’t give a fuck about my own sexuality so I just kind of assumed that everyone felt that way and you were clearly not comfortable with that question and I’ve felt so sorry and shitty about it ever since but I was never sure if I should apologize or if that would just drag up bad feelings again and in any case I am very sorry that I was an insensitive ass, and also very sorry for the likely thousands of microaggressions I’ve almost certainly unconsciously committed over the years

#penroseparticle #ask

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 4 years

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I have a silly Napoleon ask for you: if he suddenly woke up in the present day what do you think he would a)like most about it b) like least about it c)get unreasonably addicted to d)decide to do for a living

hahah I’ve answered a similar one before here and here.

Most Like About It: A lot, I think. Central heating. Guys, he’d fucking love central heating.

In general, he’d love most technological advances. Cars, planes, trains etc. like he’d be very into that. “Bertrand we’re going to ride the TGV all day every day. Look at how fast we are going! This is genius.”

“Bertrand WE ARE IN THE SKY. This is AMAZING. We are going from Paris to Rome in a matter of HOURS. HOURS BERTRAND. WE DON’T HAVE TO CROSS MOUNTAINS.” (sorry just assuming this is exile Napoleon who woke up in modern day.)

Public transit in general - the metro, buses - anything that makes life more efficient for people. Dishwasher, washers/dryers, modern electricity, laptops, printers, ball point pens etc.

I suspect he’d be a big supporter of public health care and all the advances made on vaccines and medicine in general. 100% would hate anti-vaxxers. Pro-modern glasses (he’d get himself a pair asap. Then they’d explain contacts to him and I think he’d be like “WAIT NO, I WANT THOSE.” He would not be into lasik, I suspect).

Modern hygiene! Razors, tooth brushes, floss, moisturizer - general daily body care he’d probably be keen on. (All that stuff we take for granted.) Though maybe not all of it, he was quite traditional in certain things (his penchant for older fashion, par exemple). Maybe he’d keep the old straight razor shaving approach. But modern dentistry would be a huge improvement and I can’t see him being against it. Especially as someone who had a tooth extracted in the early 19th century.

‘Oh they give you pain killers now? Fantastic.’

‘Sir, we just numb the area where we are doing the work.’

‘So it doesn’t impede my awareness? Amazing. Please, fix all my teeth right now.’

He’d also support the greater access to education that exists, especially compared to his day. Also, streaming services. He would binge so many things. ‘Bertrand we are watching every thing this very soothing sounding British naturalist made about planet earth. Holy shit look at that they’re under water! They’re at the bottom of the ocean! Bertrand look at this. if only Josephine were here. She’d be so excited.’

Pro-zoom/Microsoft teams/facetime etc. 100%. ‘If I had this instead of people relying on my bad handwriting ...’

Oh, he’d like the EU as a concept. Except he would be very disappointed that France wasn’t at the helm. I think France’s position globally would disappoint him, overall. But yeah, the broad principles espoused by the concept of the European Union would appeal to him.

Brexit though. Lol. I think he’d enjoy watching England shoot itself in the foot. But if you asked him for his opinion, as in “do you think the UK should do this” he would answer no. They should remain.

He would like globalization, trade agreements, things like NAFTA, CETA etc. Supporter of big government. Reduction of religion in public sphere. Though would he be pro-banning visual manifestations of faith? (i.e. Hijab etc.) I don’t know. I doubt it. Simply because he was very focused on religion in government, so if churches aren’t involved in decision making, what citizens get up to on their own is their business (so long as you don’t cause problems). But I don’t know, he might be pro-it, because he was also into assimilation and creating a broad sense of a French culture. I could see him really going either way on it. It’d probably come down to whatever he thought would garner the most public support as a political move (since a lot of his more liberal moves as a leader were tied to understanding that marginalized communities would gun hard for him if he helped them).

He would be pro-mask wearing for COVID because he wasn’t a fucking idiot and lived in a time when pandemics were still a real going concern.

He would also probably like how comfortable modern clothing is. I don’t think he’d like how cheap and made-to-wear-out that most brands are, but he’d like the over all philosophy. Like Napoleon would dig t-shirts. Lounge wear. The fact that jeans have some stretch in them. That sort of thing.

Least Like: I think he’d be very wary of the internet. For many reasons. For the lack of government control (Napoleon “What is a free press? never heard of her” Bonaparte). But also, because of the misinformation problems. The side effects many of us are now bearing witness to, and experiencing the ramifications of.

He would dislike the whole fake news nonsense. Oh this man was a master spin-doctor, very good at twisting a narrative around to suit him, but he still did have respect for and a firm belief in basic facts. Especially fake news that usurped the sound advise of scientists and doctors (i.e. COVID nonsense).

Free press, I think he would be wary of it. Mostly from a government control perspective. Like as a day-to-day citizen, since he wouldn’t be anyone in power in this hypothetical, I think he’d value it. He would do that disassocative thing he did when he talked about things in the abstract. That cold, calculating way he would position himself in a situation and be like “Ah yes, these are the things that need to be tamped down if you want control of a populace as a monarch”. Then he had his more liberal, call-back-to-that-misspent-jacobin-youth moments where his views shifted.

I suppose it would also depend what age this hypothetical Napoleon is. He softened a lot in retirement exile. Napoleon at the height of his power, thirty-odd years old, different man to fifty year old Napoleon.

Would not be into women in politics. He’d be like ‘Why is there a woman in charge of Germany? Also what happened to the Habsburgs? Where’s Prussia? Silesia? What the FuCk is happening in the Balkans? I’m very confused about Europe’s current geographic layout. ...Corsica...still doing you, I see.’

He’d dislike Trump and his cronies. As I wrote before: “ I think Napoleon would find Trump disgusting on a personal level. Uneducated, incapable of holding a real conversation, gauche, anti-intellectual, anti-fact-based discussion, anti-science, anti-art etc. He’d also feel that Trump is disgracing the position of President and that he is unworthy of leadership. Napoleon would also find Trump physically repulsive as he could be a wee bit shallow in some of his assessments (though, very early modern to 19th century to assume your physical appearance is a manifestation of your interiority).”

Steve Bannon’s fiddling with finances? Napoleon would find that repulsive. Mitch Mcconnell disgracing his office by fucking around with constitutional loop holes? Napoleon would think it a disgrace.

He had a lot of respect for America’s experiment with democracy. Like, quite a lot of respect. So I think he’d be vastly disappointed in not only the person occupying the white house, but also a lot of the apathy in voting that is going around. (Yes, this coming from a [mostly] absolutest monarch, too.) But Napoleon valued and respected the notion of civic duty. If you live in a democracy, you have a duty to participate. To opt out is to shirk that duty which he would find insulting and distasteful. Because, I would argue, he was very much a believer in people doing right by their fellow citizens.

Get unreasonably addicted to: MODERN BATHS. HE WOULD NEVER LEAVE THE BATHTUB. THEY CAN HAVE JETS AND EVERYTHING BERTRAND THIS IS GREAT.

Also central heating. Saunas. Jacuzzis. He was like a wee lizard seeking warmth at all times.

I think he’d be into driving. I don’t know if he would be good at it. Don’t let Napoleon take the wheel, guys. But if someone else was driving he’d be that person “go faster. you’re driving like my grandmother.” And gods, he’d do dumb shit like drive like a maniac around the arc de triumph six times in a row because he’s an adrenaline junkie and a risk-taker (it’s that bored ADD brain of his). The autobahn would be his dream.

I think he’d be super into epic fantasy series. Like the big sweeping ones like Lord of the Rings. I think less so GRRM because GRRM is unrealistic and Napoleon is pedantic. Especially about politics and war. Exhibit A: consider Napoleon’s very detailed nitpicking of Virgil on his inaccurate rendition of Troy from a military perspective. Therefore, I suspect GRRM’s lack of accuracy in how society works, how war works, how politics works, all the plot holes and illogical character decisions, would drive him up the wall. Napoleon liked Homer because he could tell Homer had been to war. And you can tell Tolkien has been to war. Also LOTR hits all those notes of high-hearted emotion and big sweeping scenes that Napoleon so liked in Ossian and the Illiad etc.

All this to say, overall, as a genre, I think those big, sweeping fantasies with lots of plot, politics, intrigue, soaring battles, great heights of emotion - he’d love that. It would hit all of his buttons for what he liked in fiction. Lots of emotion, lots of action, lots of big scenes, lots of crazy shenanigans. This can also be applied to Sci-fi. I think he’d be a big nerd on that too. But the science would have to make sense.

I think he’d be into Star Trek, particularly Picard, if only for the philosophical aspects of it. He liked those sorts of questions and hypotheticals. So I think he’d binge all of The Next Generation (among other seasons).

Do for a living: Teach? God knows. This is Napoleon from 18-something who just woke up? He could be paid for consultant work for historians and film crews and the like, I guess. Just to tell them how accurate stuff is. Of course, be wary, this is Napoleon I Am A Spin Doctor Bonaparte.

I think he could lean into writing histories - particularly the classics, early French and European history - that sort of thing, where he already has a strong background in it and it wouldn’t require him basically learning an entirely new trade. Like, will Napoleon ever fully be a natural with computers and cell phones? Probably not. Could he be like your old school Professor emeritus who still churns out papers and does 90% of it the old fashioned by-hand way? Yes. And Napoleon had a bunch of histories planned on St. Helena that he wanted to write, so I think he could do that.

As this is literally Napoleon Bonaparte he’d get a book deal in seconds. There’d be a bidding war over it.

Thank you for the ask! This was very amusing :D

#napoleon #napoleon was his own shitpost #napoleon bonaparte #napoleonic #napoleon in the modern day #ask #reply #anon

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 4 years

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For your friend qui learn le frinch since sixt week and key n'fae pas de progray : YouTube + this bit at the end that isn't allowed in the asks : /watch?v=x1sQkEfAdfY

bahahahah yes I’m sure they would appreciate that. Them and Napoleon, though he was going the reverse. Eddie does capture the universality of learning a new language ;)

since sixt week j learn english and j do not any progress - I do love that Napoleon wrote I as J. Like was that his bad handwriting or his “fuck it’s not je is it? ...guess it’s J now.” who knows.

#napoleon #napoleon was his own shitpost #eddie izzard #ask #reply #napoleon bonaparte

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 5 years

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Napoleon gave head to half the marshalate, so there’s that

#napoleon bonaparte #napoleon #history #19th century #napoleon was his own shitpost #im drunk on fig liquor in corsica #im allowed to say these things

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 5 years

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When you remember how unfortunate Napoleon looked in 1795 (not to mention unwashed) when he first met Josephine her general reaction of “ummmmm” makes a lot of sense.

Josephine: You want me to marry that person? Barras: Yes. He’s going places. Josephine: Hopefully places with a bathtub and a barber.

Just imagine a really intense, slightly obsessed, unwashed young man writing you letters every day where he goes and creates this fictional ideal of you that is nothing like who you really are. I get her reactions from early on in their marriage.

story time: I had this guy who did that to me but it was texting and it wasn’t great. There’s a lot more to this story but that’s the moral that applies here.

#I am here for mocking Napoleon's Aesthetic from 95-97 as it's not great #napoleon #napoleon bonaparte #napoleon was his own shitpost

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 5 years

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Napolington question: Which one of them would slap the other ones ass

THIS IS A VALUABLE QUESTION.

This is what I am here for. These are the inquiries I was born to answer.

I’m going to say Napoleon would slap Arthur’s ass then grin like a cheeky so-and-so. Arthur will one day get his revenge though. He’s plotting, and waiting.

#honestly great #napolington #napoleon bonaparte #arthur wellesley #duke of wellington #I feel bad for any of you who follow those tags #but not bad enough to stop #napoleon was his own shitpost #ask #reply #anon

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 5 years

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Modern Napoleonic AU : Which of the marshals is rockin' a man-bun ? (*please don't be davout* *please don't be davout* *please don't be davout*...)

Murat. Oh my god it’s Murat. Have you seen those locks? He’s also the kind of person who would love a man-bun and be able to pull it off which makes him a rarity.

Napoleon would judge him though. But considering historical Napoleon’s hair choices as a young man, he really isn’t allowed to have a say.

My runner-up for the man-bun lifestyle is Soult.

#Napoleon is not allowed to have an opinion #ask #anon #such a great mental image #someone make art of it! all the marshals with man buns!#napoleon #napoleon bonaparte #murat #joachim murat #soult #napoleon was his own shitpost

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 5 years

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Napoleon: Novels are for ladies’ maids. Men only read history books.

Also Napoleon: *writes multiple cheesy novellas* What?

#what a gem #napoleon #napoleon was his own shitpost

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 5 years

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Ok Hot take: modern AU Napoleon plays Dungeons and Dragons

He’d totally be the DM. He’d want to have power over everyone and craft everything. Eventually people revolt. There’s an uprising. Napoleon is so usurped and replaced by someone else (Duroc probs) and now Napoleon must play with everyone else. He complains VORACIOUSLY but too late. He’s in. There’s no escape.

#what a great ask #napoleon #napoleon bonaparte #napoleon was his own shitpost #ask #reply

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 5 years

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For the send me a character meme, is Napoleon a valid ask?

Always. Fucking love that moron.

#napoleon bonaparte #napoleon #napoleon was his own shitpost

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 4 years

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IT'S OUR BOI NAP'S BIRTHDAY!!!!

shit’s gonna get LIT

Lannes is drunk on the front lawn. Josephine is in the bath with her clothes on and two bottles of champagne. Duroc is passed out across the office floor. Murat has started changing every hour on the hour and doing fashion shows. Caroline is hollering show it to me baby. Joseph has ordered in a four string quartet to play all the songs Napoleon hates the most as a joke-gift. Jokes on him. Napoleon’s so drunk he forgot French but is CONVINCED he’s fluent in German.

Happy birthday you walking shitpost of a man.

#napoleon #napoleon bonaparte #napoleon was his own shit post #napoleonic shitposting #ask #reply #anon

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 6 years

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I can't bear this wait for bbc Les Mis and I can't bear to watch it either. Can't go through Waterloo again. Hugo was the one who pushed me down this path of eternal Napoleonic misery and I don't know what to do.

I’m one of those contrarian people who will probably never watch it. So please if/when you do, I want to know about it. Even all the painful bits where we get to see Napoleon put his foot in it with Waterloo.

(Mostly just tell me about Javert and Valjean. I only care about them. And Montparnasse. Are they including him? I have no idea. I haven’t followed anything about this project.)

So Hugo was your introduction! That’s so much better than Bill and Ted’s Most Excellent Adventure, which was mine.

#ask #reply #les mis #les miserables #napoleon #napoleon bonaparte #victor hugo is his own shitpost

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 3 years

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slowly going through my mentions! I was tagged by @le-fils-de-lhomme :D :D

1. why did you choose your url?

I’m just super keen on the Macbeth witches because they’re objectively the best role models out there

2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

I have a discworld sideblog (scenesofadisc) that I haven’t updated in an age - the name should be selfevident for that one. I also have a lil wee witchcraft/folklore one (ourthirteenthclock) that I occasionally post on - name came from “The 13 Clocks” which is a children’s book by James Thurber that my mom used to read me as a kid (it’s also where my own name is from).

The 13 Clocks, and that the evil uncle was my favourite character, explains a lot about me as a person, honestly.

The evil uncle was the OG Grima Wormtongue in my life.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

Since 2011 - so for far too long

4. do you have a queue tag?

I do not - but I do queue. I’m just chaotic like that

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

People were leaving LJ due to the strike through, among other reasons, and several of my friends from there migrated here

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

It’s Napoleon from Monsieur N and I can never change it. It’s been my icon for these many years.

7. why did you choose your header?

keeping up with the Napoleon theme innit

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

Probably my Julius Caesar one about one of the more comedic portrayals of his death.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

I’m not sure the number, but there are about fifteen to twenty (maybe twenty-five) I interact with regularly (from just quietly liking each other’s things to actually talking to) and I love them all

10. how many followers do you have?

Eh, a fine number - i suspect most are abandoned blogs

11. how many people do you follow?

probably too many honestly

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

Absolutely - mostly just me mocking whatever my current fixation is (Grima, get YOUR LIFE RIGHT you sad little bitch)

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

I go in phases of frequency - but you know, often enough.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

lol god yeah. Several. No one wins internet arguments. Especially on tumblr.

The one that sticks out in my memory is with the person who called me out because I said that you shouldn’t apply modern morality and political lenses (i.e. purity politics) to the past because it’s bad historical methodology. They then called me a war criminal apologist (because I find Napoleon interesting) and we proceeded to have the stupidest argument.

But can I even call it that? Their reading comprehension was so low it was like arguing with a fence post because they misread everything. Then they tagged in a friend who was like “one day, when you’re older and study history in a real way you’ll understand” and that’s when I tapped out because lolk wow

They were a les amis fan from Les Mis which explains most of that entire conversation.

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I refuse to reblog them on principle.

16. do you like tag games?

yeah! I love them

17. do you like ask games?

assuredly! same as tag games

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

this is tumblr. does it even matter?

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

Nope

20. tags?

I shall tag: @tauremornalome @urban-trek-thru-middle-earth @milyavild @leftofrevolution @glorfy-the-bright-haired-ellon

#tag game #tag meme #meme #answer #personal #me

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