2024 Academy Award Best Picture Nominees Guide For Those Who Haven’t Actually Watched Them
In a year when the names of pretty much every movie are combinations of random, non-descript words, and with a lineup of films that few people did actually watch or even legitimately know what they’re about (except Barbenheimer) - the Academy really tested the flimsy premise of this now decade-old bit.
But tis the season! So sing along with me! My awards have a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R!
My awards have a second name, it’s C-O-R-P-O-R-A-T-E-H-O-L-L-Y-W-O-O-D-W-I-L-L-S-O-O-N-B-R-E-A-K-I-T-S-P-R-O-M-I-S-E-T-O-T-H-E-U-N-I-O-N-S-A-N-D-C-R-E-A-T-E-A-L-L-O-F-T-H-E-S-E-M-O-V-I-E-S-W-I-T-H-A-I-I-N-T-H-E-F-U-T-U-R-E!
So, let’s dive in for this 10th rundown of the Best Picture nominees!
American Fiction
What Florida Governor Ron DeSantis calls critical race theory.
3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:
German Fiction is what those who planned to vote for DeSantis call Zone of Interest.
If this wins, Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty will announce it as La La Land.
Tracee Ellis Ross plays the role of Dr. Lisa Ellison. Other original names for characters were Myra Lucretia Taylor as Dr. Mary Lucretiason, Michael Cyril Creighton as Dr. Thomas Cyrilson and Sterling K. Brown as Dr. William K.-son.
Anatomy of a Fall
About 6-foot-2 and roughly 200 pounds at the time that he slapped Chris Rock at this awards show in 2022.
3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:
You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? They call it Anatomie D'Une Cheese.
I thought it was a bit lazy that in order to play the half-blind son, director Justine Triet just put an eye-patch on Milo Machado-Graner and exclaimed, “Mon Dieu! Ze garçon is now half blind. Voir!
Eric Clapton’s least favorite Best Picture nominee.
Barbie
A sharp and immensely profitable attack upon the patriarchy and a film that became a rallying cry for female empowerment in Hollywood that garnered no Best Director or Best Actress nominations but nabbed a nom for penis-owning actor Ryan Gosling.
3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:
Hi Barbie!
One day during childhood, I agreed to play Barbies with my two sisters and my brother. But we played Saved By The Bell with Ken as Zack Morris, an Aladdin doll as A.C. Slater and various Barbies as Kelly, Jessie and Lisa. It was civil until I got bored and used another Ken doll to be Screech and all of a sudden gave him the power (ironically…Screech's last name was Powers) to fly and then pretended he was flying over the Dream House and farting and pooping down (also ironically in light of Dustin Diamond’s later activities) on everyone causing my sisters to scream at me while I cackled with laughter. Not really a joke. Just a real crystalized childhood memory that I'm sadly still kind of proud of and also still think is very funny.
Next year, the Polly Pocket movie will be a tremendous hit, break down traditional gender norms, and Austin Butler will be the only one nominated for an Oscar for playing Paul E. Pocket.
The Holdovers
A story about a group that has nowhere to go after they are abandoned in New England…the 2020 Patriots.
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The lead role called for a “stubborn, curmudgeonly” character and Paul Giamatti just materialized on set.
To achieve Giamatti’s character Paul Hunham’s trademark lazy eye, Alexander Payne enlisted the help of Anatomy of a Fall director Justine Triet who came on set and addressed Giamatti’s right eye, saying, “Bonjour, eye! Do some work, s'il vous plaît. (Pauses for a beat.) Sacre bleu! Ze eye refuses to work. Zis is a lazy eye!”
This is the first collaboration between director Alexander Payne and actor Paul Giamatti since Sideways which now makes sense since there are various points in the film where a character, with absolutely no context or prompting, sips a glass of merlot and spits it on the ground screaming, “Merlot is the worst liquid in the universe!” But it was a bit much when the last scene of the movie was Paul Giamatti looking directly into the camera and saying, “Fuck you, merlot,” before the credits rolled.
Killers of the Flower Moon
Ernest in the Army. Ernest Scared Stupid. Ernest Goes to Jail.
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Leonardo DiCaprio initially turned down the role when he learned that his romantic interest in the film, Mollie Kyle, was 137 years old, saying, "Maybe without the 7!"
IMDB lists this movie’s runtime in years.
Scorsese rejected composer Robbie Robertson’s first score for the film that included “‘Up on Cripple Creek…Is Where They Found Anna’s Body’”, “I Shall Be Released…Is What King Hale Tells Ernest While In Jail”, “The Weight…Of His Transgressions Caused Ernest to Testify Against His Uncle” and “Ophelia…Is Probably The Name of One of The Background Osage Women Characters, Oh Come On Marty, Just Put It In The Credits, People Love This Song”
Maestro
Seasoned musician Leonard Bernstein (Bradley Cooper) discovers-and falls in love with-struggling actress Felicia Montealegre (Carey Mulligaga). She has just about given up on her dream to make it big as an actress - until Leonard coaxes her into the spotlight. But even as Felicia’s career takes off, the personal side of their relationship is breaking down, as Leonard fights an ongoing battle with his own internal demons. Then, he pisses his pants at the Grammys.
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Early critical reviews of the trailer focused on the “Anatomy of a Face”.
Just like in “A Star Is Born”, Bradley Cooper took vocal lessons to actually perform Leonard Bernstein's classic “Hallelujah”. (What’s that? There are two Jewish Leonards?)
Cooper spent nearly 45% of the film’s budget on that epic final battle scene between Bernstein and Lydia Tár.
Oppenheimer
Julius Robert Oppenheimer Schmidt! That's my name too! Whenever I got out, the people always shout, “There goes Julius Robert Oppenheimer Schmidt!” Na-na na-na na-na-na!
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In an alternate scene, it's revealed that the exchange between Oppenheimer and Edison by the pond that caused Albert to react so sadly when walking past Robert Downey Jr. is that Oppenheimer tried to sneak a fart but then said, “Oh no. I just Oppensharted.”
Nolan took some liberties with the true story. In reality, the U.S. killed between 110,000 and 210,000 Japanese citizens…with kindness.
Since ABC does not include the Academy’s Scientific and Technical Awards during the broadcast, we will not see Cillian Murphy’s acceptance speech for Best Seated Mangina.
Past Lives
This film follows the stories of the characters’ souls across time, and the stories are interwoven as they advance, showing how they all interact in their “past lives”. The film explores how people's “past lives” are connected with and influence each other and…wait a second. Nope. That’s Cloud Atlas. (Do not watch Cloud Atlas.)
3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:
Due to scheduling conflicts with Poor Things, Emma Stone was unable to play the female Asian lead this time.
However, in the North Korean version of the film, Kim Jong Un played the role. And all the other roles. And won all of the Oscars. Ever.
This movie is a prequel to the movie Lives.
Poor Things
From Pixar comes the story of little Sally Sangiovese, a newly bottled red Italian wine who is separated from her Sangio-family and sent to the wine cellar. There, she’ll befriend Nelson Nebbiolo, a wizened red from the Piedmont region who is coming up on 30 years in the cellar but still hasn’t gotten over the loss of his Spanish love, Tia Tempranillo, who was pulled from the cellar for a quinceañera dinner the year prior. Together, the two will hatch a plan to release themselves from the cellar to reunite Sally with her family and Nelson con su amor. Along their adventurous aging process, audiences will discover that even when the bottle appears half-empty, you simply decant dampen the spirit of these…Pour Things!
3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:
Max McCandles was actually the original name of Lumière from Beauty and the Beast.
Unfortunately this story of a British woman receiving a brain transplant isn’t about J.K. Rowling.
This is the first movie written by new AI trained only on Dr. Seuss books, Kanye West’s Twitter feed and the dreams of Gary Busey.
The Zone of Interest
Rudolf the conflicted Nazi! Had a garden full of rows! Of plants his wife liked to tend to! Horrifically juxtaposed! Then one sunny German day, Hitler came to say, “Rudolf of the triple Reich, won't you Holocaust tonight!” Then, how he wrestled with morality! As he puked and thought, “Why me?!” Rudolf the conflicted Nazi! This one’s really hard for comedy!
3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert…All Word-for-Word What Was Generated by ChatGPT:
The popularity of the film has already led to a sequel, Höss Party 2.
Probably also the title of one of the Mission Impossible movies.
I actually did watch every other movie nominated for Best Picture this year, but The Zone of Interest is the only one I did Nazi!
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'23 SKIDOO
Before rattling off a list of my top ten movies for the year, I should offer a disclaimer. As with most years, it's based on incomplete information. There are still quite a few significant movies I haven't yet seen. But here, based on what I've seen and how I'm feeling at this writing, is my Top Ten List for 2023.
Killers of the Flower Moon--Martin Scorsese's epic yet intimate nightmare about the Osage murders in Oklahoma in the 1920s is a masterpiece; one of his best works and probably the best movie of the year.
Oppenheimer--Half of the midyear smash duo, this chronicle of the atom smasher of White Sands is a dazzling directorial performance by Christopher Nolan, fracturing his narrative yet keeping us focused. Possibly a hair overlong and anticlimactic, it's riveting at its best.
Barbie--The other half of "Barbenheimer." Greta Gerwig's brightly-colored take on the Mattel icon is crazy, imaginative and deeply goofy, yet in its own way no less serious in its ambitions. Margot Robbie is improbably touching in the title role.
American Fiction--Jeffrey Wright is quietly marvelous as an African-American novelist who so resents being expected to pander to white ideas about the black experience that he does so with a vengeance and becomes a smash. Cord Jefferson's adaptation of the Percival Everett novel Erasure is both rueful and hilarious, often at the same time, and beautifully acted by Sterling K. Brown, Tracee Ellis Ross, Leslie Uggams, Myra Lucretia Taylor, Issa Rae, Miriam Shor and the criminally underutilized Erika Alexander.
Maestro--It's not so much a biopic in the usual sense as a portrait of the marriage of Leonard Bernstein and Felicia Montealegre. Bradley Cooper is luminous as Bernstein, and his reserved directorial style balances Bernstein's grand self-dramatizing manner beautifully. Yet it's Carey Mulligan's Felicia who emerges as the movie's guiding spirit.
Godzilla Minus One--The Lizard King stands in for postwar despondency in this one-off, one-of-a-kind monster spectacle that's also a surprisingly moving portrait of a nation coming to terms with utter defeat, and gradually starting to rise from its own ruins.
Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret--Judy Blume's classic for adolescent girls was a long time coming to the screen, but under the direction of Kathleen Fremon Craig it struck just the right note; sweet and lighthearted.
Air--Sneakers have become such a cultural touchstone that it's probably inevitable that we'd get an origin story for athletic footwear. Ben Affleck's account of the development of the Air Jordan line and the issues around it is absorbing and amusing.
The Holdovers--Alexander Payne's '70s-period comedy, set at a private school in Massachusetts, is essentially a vehicle for the performances of Paul Giamatti as a splenetic ancient history teacher, Da'Vine Joy Randolph as a bereaved cafeteria manager and Dominic Sessa as the kid they're stuck with for the holidays. But what performances they are.
Saltburn--After her stunning debut with Promising Young Woman, Emerald Fennel's second feature, a neo-gothic take on class, is by comparison a little overwrought and sour. But it's no less brilliant, and it comes together joltingly at the end.
A few others that I found to be worth my time: The Blackening, A Haunting in Venice, Dumb Money, Jules, Theater Camp, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, Thanksgiving, Somewhere in Queens, Cocaine Bear, Renfield, Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, Napoleon and The Boys in the Boat.
A superb 2024 to us all!
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CALIFICACIÓN PERSONAL: 6.5 / 10
Título Original: See You Yesterday
Año: 2019
Duración: 86 min
País: Estados Unidos
Dirección: Stefon Bristol
Guion: Fredrica Bailey, Stefon Bristol
Música: Michael Abels
Fotografía: Felipe Vara de Rey
Reparto: Eden Duncan-Smith, Dante Crichlow, Astro, Marsha Stephanie Blake, Michael J. Fox, Myra Lucretia Taylor, Wavyy Jonez, Patrice Bell, Khail Bryant, Waliek Crandall, Damaris Lewis, Frank Harts, Manny Ureña, Carlos Arce Jr., Johnathan Nieves, Taliyah Whitaker, Brett G. Smith, Ian Unterman, Rayshawn Richardson, Hampton Clanton, Allen Holloway
Productora: 40 Acres & A Mule Filmworks. Productor: Spike Lee. Distribuidora: Netflix
Género: Action; Adventure; Sci-Fi
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8743064/
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