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mitamicah · 2 months

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An aromantic autistic reading of Joker Out's "Bluza"/"the Blouse"

I have a few words about Bluza. The Blouse.

When I first heard the title, I felt a connection to this song yet in a very tongue-in-cheek way. Because I read the working title was a nod to the white holed sweater blouse (the slut shirt) Bojan forgot at Jere’s place last autumn. But then thanks to JokerOutSubs I realized that this song really speaks to me in another way.

Disclaimer: I am speaking about this from an autistic aroace point of view and as a person who has masked most their lives and doesn’t drink. I hope to explain why this matters in the post below.

The lines that especially spoke to me are these: Ja ko pijana budala Ali čaše nisam popio Jamislim da sam se zaljubio u tebe

I’m acting like a drunk idiot But I haven’t had a single glass I think I’ve fallen in love with you

As a person who has spend most my life being critical about what to say, do, and how I show of myself to people I see the drunkenness described here not as literal but as a form of unmasking. When you find that one person you feel so comfortable around that you know that they won’t leave you or care if you stop being presentable in the eyes of society.

The result is that you may seem drunk and out of character when you are close to them. Drunk as in unlike yourself but also much more yourself. You dare to be authentic and to be silly and vulnerable because this person next to you gets you. No alcohol you could consume would fill you with as much giddiness as being with this person does. There is something about this one person that just speaks to you and let you know that you are safe.

While not having been drunk myself this is what I expect is the feeling most drunk people are searching for: the experience of not caring about what other people might think about them anymore. They just exist outside time and space in a bubble of bliss.

The person in the song is that for Bojan. His bubble of bliss – his safe space.

I’ve been lucky enough to have people like that too for small periods of time. And just like the next line I have felt very strongly connected to the person in those moments thinking “is this was love feels like?”. And here I don’t necessarily mean romantic attraction/love. I mean love as in a deeper, more profound level. The love that is outside of bodily desire. It is two spirits – two beings finding a home in the other person. A home where you can be giddy and drunk without having touch a single drink.

It is no secret that I love the idea of queer platonic love. When I read this, I read it as queer platonic. I read it as beautifully strange, brotherly, romantic, and platonic all at once.

The chorus kind of develops this feeling and adds and aromantic layer to it: Baš ja Koji nisam verovao Da za nekim biću lud

Yes, me who didn’t believe I would be crazy about someone

I read this as a very much an aspec experience.

You may have gone most of your life feeling othered for not experiencing those feelings of romantic attraction the world around you constantly tell you that you should.

Then this person comes along. This person that is your haven, that you can fool around with and open up around. There’s something that seems different, seems honest and so it brings you that feeling of bliss I mentioned earlier. That feeling the world around you have tried to tell you exists for years, yet you never believed would happen to you.

You may have believed yourself to be broken or maybe the world around you too much for seemingly being crazy about love. But now in this moment of bliss, drunk without having drunk, you get it. You want to be with this person, do all the silly things the media tells you are romantic. Not because you are forced to but because it would mean spending more time with your person. And every little second you can spend with your person feels like a blessing.

That is my take on the song at least. Thank you for reading.

#my first try making an analysis that I can remember so please be kind #I just couldn't stop thinking about it #almost cried when I read the lyrics #and this may just be a sappy song idk but it spoke to me this way #so I offer you my aro and ausitic reading of it it here #thank you to jokeroutsubs for the quick translation that gave me the chance to babble about this song #I feel so honored having been in the crowd that heard it the first time live :'3 #I really adore sta bih ja too but mostly for how catchy it is #it is pretty as well when you know the lyrics #but this prechorus chorus just spoke to my aching queer platonic aro heart #okay I am done venting now #joker out #bluza #the blouse #mine #micahs thoughts

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maledistributionsystem · 2 months

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thank u for posting transhet stuff, sometimes i fall down the "all men are a danger to themselves and others" rabbit hole so to speak and it makes me feel hopeless so seeing stuff of girls loving us being men and wanting us to be men is very helpful anyways your stuff rules no matter what :) have a great day bro

Thank you for contacting the Male Distribution System Bark Line. Remember: Self-made men are loved and adored. All of them. Your message is in the queue...

Hey you're absolutely welcome! I know what you mean too, there's this very loud and proud "i hate all men because theyre evil and they suck!!" mentality that has (in my opinion) a rather large presence in queer spaces and it makes existing in them as a trans man really, really exhausting. Especially when some people decide its okay to say these things to your face, as if you aren't a man. Especially when it comes from white people, since they tend not to recognize how they look saying that kind of thing to men of color.

But hey, i have a wife and she's like the coolest/strongest/lovliest person i know, and is my best friend. I promise there are literally millions of girls who love trans men and don't think we're becoming evil/violent/dangerous, and who also don't think we're hurting ourselves/making ourselves uglier.

I also know a handful of other men who have wives/fiances/girlfriends, and I wont lie and say that it was easy for them, especially since they tended to go for cishet women, but they're in long happy relationships nowadays. You can do it too. I promise dude :)

You take it easy and have a great day!

#MDS Bark Line #i'm gonna use the tags to continue a line of thought i had but didn't feel necessary to respond directly to nonny with #it really truly fucking sucks that it feels like as a trans man i have this very noticable very palpable 'decision' to make between #being seen as a man-full stop-but also being shunned from your community if you just look like some random dude bc you wanna be stealth #or accept proximity to womanhood/femininity to be given a sort of 'pass' from being assumed to be dangerous #it hurts my heart to talk to other binary trans men. you wanna know why they dont exist very much?#its because we get pushed out of spaces we technically belong in because we DONT want to be overtly readable as queer #and men get fucking tired of that and decide to make peace with cis bi/gay spaces or they decide to just not have any community connection #and thats. really fucking sad.#it shouldnt be so fucking hard to find other binary trans men who are deep in their transition. but it is.#and i feel like it really really shouldnt be.#It would really help if queer spaces would uhhhh stop demonizing men and our masculinity. :/.

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dyke-in-crisis · 1 month

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duality of man

#do not let the fear of being perceived as an artist stop you from making unhinged raw or silly queer representation #give into your hearts desire!#its what younger you would have wanted #media gets taken SO critical atm and people are so quick to call something trash #make something that’s important to YOU!#word of advice while I continue thinking heavily about my comic onstead of writing it. cheers!#art #writing #text post #mine #patron saints of grease #comic #my ocs #ocs #queer

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clintbartoncore · 7 months

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I’m starting a rumor that Clint originally gave Coulson a chance as his handler because he was the first senior officer he got assigned to who was also queer. Clint wasn’t being recalcitrant when he was acting like a rebellious little shit for all his other handlers, he was being heterophobic.

#jokes on Clint though because he wouldn’t have fallen in love with any of his straight handlers #.txt #in this scenario in my mind Coulson is gay and Clint has been a freewheeling bisexual since before he realized that #not all people were attracted to other kinds of people than the opposite sex #he had no awareness of homophobia bc nobody took the time to teach it to him :(#the group home was like one of those mythical boarding schools where puppy piles were a regular thing #At first his behavior strikes Phil as macho posturing and so Phil puts his sexuality front and center ('Barton most people #don’t care enough to know this and I don’t tend to advertise it but I’m gay. Tell me now if that’s going to be a problem for you.’)#thinking that it will get Clint off his hands and stop Phil from having to deal with his misbehavior #jokes on Phil though because Clint just gets excited and doubles down. ('Hey! another queer person in this stodgy gvt org!')#Also in my heart of hearts I believe that SHIELD is predominantly a place for weirdos and outcasts for one reason or another so #it’s chock full of queer people. but in this scenario I like the idea of it being 50/50 paramilitary (and therefore v straitlaced and #heteronormative) and half discreet queer people with their own established in-organization subculture #obviously Phil introduces Clint to the rest of the subculture. he starts with just a few people who are okay with being outed until he’s #sure that Clint isn’t pranking him #clintcoulson #phlint #the joke is on both of them actually for thinking that homophobia in any direction could shield them from anything at all

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mirokata · 7 months

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As a person who doesn’t read much, reading on the train today felt EUPHORIC and I almost missed my stop (and shocked the guy next to me due to my shock) but it felt like the world had disappeared and there’s no better feeling- I was cured of worries, even if just between those few train stops.

#I was rereading Loveless btw #the sunil chapter because he’s wholesome and the pride soc is wholesome #and I want one in my school #but logistics and the thought of paper work involved with starting a cca scares me #so nope that’s not happening #so instead I manifest my wishes for a pride society in the very book that gave me the idea of that possibility #I also realise I have Loveless to thank for kickstarting my entire queer journey #so from the bottom of my aroace heart thank you #and thank you for making me almost miss my stop today because I was engrossed in Georgia’s world #alice oseman #loveless #reading #bookblr #serotonin tag #mirokata posts

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hadesknockedupintheunderworld · 4 months

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Okay, so I went looking for the Sonic 2 game manual last night for...reasons, and I decided I needed to share this page

So as I've said before, it's not as if I've consumed even half of the Sonic media out there. So my idea of the origins of Sonic and Tails I gathered through a tiny bit of Osmosis, tidbits from different tv shows (namely Sonic's depiction of how he met Tails in Sonic prime), and different origin stories via tv shows and comics. This is all to say that I was more than a bit uneducated, so I was under the impression for a while that Sonic saves Tails from the bullies who pick on him, and then he decides to take him with him (and so begins Sonic 2)

But given what a friend of mine described as implications that Sonic 1 (the game) is not the first time Sonic and Eggman have fought in addition to this page, my friend pointed out that this page from the manual may imply that Sonic and Tails were crafted originally as childhood friends. And that both blew my mind (!) and caused a couple puzzle pieces to click into place in my brain.

Despite Sega getting rid of the canon character ages, we at least know from the past that Sega/Sonic Team has had no problem depicting younger (and often very young) characters as fighters in battles against Robotnik or other villains (and this isn't even to mention this in various comic or tv show continuities). Back then (at least with just this game manual as context), there is not only a non zero chance that Sonic has been fending off danger (and potentially even Robotnik) since he was very young, but also the implication that he and Tails have known each other the longest. Since there are no ages mentioned at this point (for the record, I have no access to magazines or reporting on the game at the time of release, so you can take this with a grain of salt), to me it's possible to interpret Sonic and Tails originally being only a couple to a few years apart in age. To me it's possible to interpret their backstory as this:

Before Sonic would fight Robotnik and come to be known as a hero, he'd fight off these bullies picking on this little fox kit. The fox kit himself, known to the animals as "Tails" came to regard the hedgehog as his hero, so he came to follow Sonic around and try to catch up with him. Eventually, Sonic would officially begin to travel with Tails and look out for him, but he had a tendency to leave Tails behind when going on adventures focused on fighting off villains such as Robotnik, who would threaten the natural land and its inhabitants. But the young fox, determined to be like his hero (the young hedgehog) and to not be left behind (both when it came to fighting and because Sonic tended to get a laugh out of speeding ahead while Tails struggled to catch up), would practice flying until he could keep up and learn how to fight (partly by trying to use his Tails to his advantage, and partly by watching Sonic).

And to me, this sets up an interesting dynamic with them. Sonic is a bit of a jerk, but he ultimately cares about Tails' well-being. Tails deals with his hero acting like a bit of a jerk and leaving him behind by trying so hard to be able to join/catch up with him (and later be able to stand on his own too). This also sets them up as younger, likely orphaned, children who travel together and take care of each other. With all of this in mind too, it also makes more sense to me as to why the original Sonic Movie (currently known as "the ova") depicted Sonic and Tails having their own personal home base they live at together.

And this is more of a side thing, but after reading that excerpt from the manual my friend and I just couldn't help but think about Sora and Riku (Kingdom Hearts). While I have for a while found my brain drawing many lines/parallels between these pairs (although compiling all of these would be an essay for another time), this excerpt sort of set it in stone for me. I'll explain under the cut.

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So, in case you're not a Kingdom Hearts fan or entrenched in the part of Soriku fandom doing deep dive analysis and theory making and making fan translations, I'll set up Sora and Riku for a moment.

Sora and Riku are two young boys who live on Destiny Islands. They've known each other since they were very young, and, although they had other friends, the two have always considered each other best friends. They also often went out to a small island (dubbed "the play island") to play together, where they had a "secret place" to play. This "secret place" was a place where the two played together and was to be a secret between only the two of them. The two would play and dream of adventure, and Riku would dream of leaving the islands one day. At the young age of 5, he was given proof of the existence of other worlds in the form of Terra (a stranger from another world—a keyblade wielder) who would ask him why he wants to see "the outside world".

"To protect the things that matter" is a desire that lasts even until Kingdom Hearts 3 (11 years later), and (as fan translators have found out) takes a progression over time in the original Japanese from "the precious things" to "the precious people" to "precious person" (or person I cherish). The "person I cherish" in question, is highly implied to be Sora. I don't have the space to throw evidence here unfortunately, but there is a good amount (I'd suggest checking blogs such as @/blowingoffsteam2 and looking into the necklace theory and the sleeping realms theory as a start, as these will lead you to other blogs. Or you can dm me I suppose. I have a store of screenshots and kh media to draw from, just know...it's a lot).

Anyhow, with all that in mind, I also offer up an excerpt of Riku's story from the KH character files (this is a fan translation of the Japanese version), which serves to tell us a bit about Riku, he and Sora's relationship, and his perpective of the Dark Margin scene from KH2.

Translation by keijithekit on twitter

After all, when you're a child, a year is a big age difference, so I played the older brother and took Sora around with me everywhere. When did that change?

Other fan translators have also interpreted the original japanese as saying that Riku not only played the "older brother" role, but tried (perhaps not very well) to play this role. This is a short story that gives implications of feelings (and even the roles you take in another's life) changing over time. This is to say that Riku had once tried to play older brother to Sora, protect him and play with him, but over time things...changed.

Sora and Riku, as young children and all the way through to KH2, were best friends and friendly rivals. The two would often race, spar, and start up contests, with Riku winning the most. This is an important part of their relationship—as friends who drive each other to become better through competition. As Sora would fight to catch up to Riku, to beat him just once (which would also start him down a path of proving he doesn't need to fully rely on Riku anymore), Riku would fight back, get stronger and run faster so he could still be better.

Riku in KH1 (like classic Sonic as implied by the earlier excerpt from the Sonic 2 manual) is a bit of a jerk, and he often enjoys proving that he's "better" than Sora (faster and stronger). Sonic values the idea of freedom, and Riku too wants to be free, wants to explore the outside world. And Tails is a bit like Sora, who tries until he can catch up to Riku, until he can beat him just once. When Riku tells Sora in kh1 that he can go home and he (Riku) can handle everything else, Sora proves that he has the fighting prowess to stand on his own feet now and doesn't need to leave it all to Riku. Of course, Tails is a bit like Riku too. He doesn't just want to be able to catch up to Sonic, to stand on his own two feet, he wants the kind of strength Sonic seems to have (to be able to fight on his own, and to be able to protect what he cares about). And likewise, while Sora isn't initially as driven to leave their home as Riku is (as he both wants to see the outside world with him and likes his home), he also comes to value the idea of freedom, of living your own life.

And this is all to say that the parallels aren't one to one for me (especially as I believe Sonic and Tails can each parallel both Sora and Riku), but I see them regardless.

Let's return back to the Sonic 2 manual and that excerpt from Riku's story in the character files and compare the the two possible interpretations of these different backstories.

"Two childhood best friends grew up together. The older one often took care of the younger one, and the elder would try to play the older brother role to the younger as they took the younger everywhere with them. Likewise, the younger idolized the older one. The two would often compete, which would drive each of them to become better as the older would try to stay on top and the younger would keep trying to catch up and win even once. One of them desires strength to protect the things that matter (such as their best friend). The other desires to be as strong and fast as the other, fighting to be able to rival them competitively. While the older would spend time protecting the other, the younger one day is able to prove that they can stand on their own, no longer needing the older as they once did, not allowing the older to make them stay behind."

"Once, a very young kid was saved by one just older. The younger started to idolize and admire the other as their hero and began to follow the older around. Eventually, the older would begin to take care of the younger, but the older would often show off their own speed and strength and leave the younger behind. The younger, determined to be able to catch up, to be able to stand with the older, flies and trains until they can (and desires too to be able to stand alone, to have the kind of strength the older possesses, to not need the older). As the two grow older, the younger eventually is able to catch up with and fight beside the older (and too develops their own ways to fight). The two, from this point forward stick beside each other as much as they can (to the point that if they aren't adventuring together, they are often in contact)."

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Okay, I've kept you all here long enough. I mostly was hoping I could shed a bit of light as to why this excerpt from the Sonic 2 manual reminds me so much of Soriku. Food for thought, right?

#Sontails #Soriku #Sonic the Hedgehog 2 #sonic the hedgehog #tails the fox #miles tails prower #Kingdom Hearts #parallels #essay time #i just be ramblin #The 'reasons' in this case were mostly me wondering why Sontails isn't that big of a ship (especially considering people's tendencies to #ship the two male best friend characters who fight together and especially because Tails was Sonic's first friend to be introduced)#and why the fandom has been so set on the 'they must and always will be practically blood related siblings or you're wrong' interpretation #So I looked up the Sonic 2 game manual to see if it would shed some light on what I was wondering #And what I found just gave my friend and I brainrot #(also consider that a piece of media or it's creator labeling two unrelated main characters as sibling like has never stopped people from #shipping them anyways or interpreting it as a coverup for queerness or as writers queercoding in a way that circumvents censorship)#If you liked this post at all you can thank my friend #1. For starting this discussion after I showed them the excerpt from the game manual #and 2. for saying 'oh yeah you could post about that conversation we had if you want'#Also side thing that didn't really fit in the post. If Tails was saved by Sonic and became a hero to him before Tails decided to follow him #around‚ does that not parallel Amy's story of being saved by Sonic‚ who would become her hero‚ and following him around after that?#More food for thought. Even the Archie Sonic depiction of Sonic CD (issue 25 of mainline) had Sonic racing Metal Sonic to save both Tails #and Amy‚ who both touted the 'my hero' line and were glad Sonic would come to save them #In terms of the interpretation I drew using only what I know from Sonic Prime and that game manual for context‚ I actually quite like the #idea that Sonic and Tails grew up together‚ with Tails having quite a bit of admiration and an unrealized puppy crush‚ and with Sonic #initially trying to play the role of older brother. And I like the idea that when they get older that relationship evolves until the nature #of it is unclear‚ where the only certainty they have is that they aren't like blood related siblings and that they just want to be together #forever (you know a 'is this platonic or romantic or what? who knows' kind of deal.)#unbreakable bond

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