Home! To mewling cats! And a sunlight apt, with plants that have grown.
7 notes
·
View notes
no but writing shep is such a relief because I can FINALLY use all the american slang I’ve been holding back!!! I always make him The Most American Guy as a treat to myself
12 notes
·
View notes
Lovin' me, lovin' me
Feelin all kinda cozied up to my womanliness tonight: got a gorgeous pot of Flemish stew slow cooking on the stove. the smell of caramelized onions cooking in bacon fat earlier was sending me to the moon, mama. All the candles are lit & i'm mothering Oliver in his Saturday High--offering treats and water from his favorite cup. My sweet boy.
Spotify says this is The Mood this evening, and spotify is correct.
-
My ex-husband emailed me last week. I responded in rage. On Friday, I unblocked and called him: in part to let him know Oli is dying. It was his pet for four years, too.
We ended up talking for eight hours. He finally crossed the bridge between denying that he was ever abusive, and owning it. Something inside of me cauterized and healed in that conversation.
One of the meanest things he ever said to me, that's always stuck with me, is when he said "you're not the person I thought you were when I married you." In our convo, he said, "I had the gall to judge you, when I presented you with a version of myself that I never realized." I am moved by the honesty and reflexivity of this statement, and our sharing honestly our experiences of being married to each other: our mutual ownership for where we did wrong, but in particular: him owning his abuse. I needed it more than I thought.
So, I put my Christmas tree and decorations up this year to the sound of my ex-husband talking to me. I never would have imaged that. This year continues to instruct and teach me.
I've fallen off #noexcusenovember the last few days @m0tiv8me. I'll get back to it tomorrow: I've plans to hike with a friend; plans to horseback ride next weekend as my new activity of the week; ganna prioritize movement and mediation too!
6 notes
·
View notes
Oh, babe, I really need you (need you)
My feelings getting deeper (deeper)
My mind is in a free fall (free fall)
But there's nothing I can do when it comes to you
You play with my emotions (emotions)
I'm flowing like the ocean (ocean)
I pray for your devotion (devotion)
'Cause there's nothing I can do when it comes to you
2 notes
·
View notes
notes app is a sacred place where i comfortably keep all my intimate thoughts, dreams and vision for later to reread and feel like someone else left me clues on how to grow into a better self
0 notes