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resilientkitteh · 2 years

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Random Heartstopper Rewatch Fun! Episode 1: Meet

Just rewatching Heartstopper and gonna be actually writing a bit about every episode as I do so. Probably like a combination of journaling of sorts as well as a lectio divina list of sparklets that stick out to me! It will be long but if you decide to read it then I hope you enjoy!

"Apparently so." Charlie in response to the teacher talking about him joining this new form...idk it just sounds so sassy to me and it makes me happy. Also I am glad he got seated next to Nick instead of like an asshole student!

Also the way that Charlie perks up upon seeing Nick is adorable! And their cute little "Hi's" and just ahhhhhh!!! Also they both smile at each other and they are purrecious okay?? You can like see Charlie thinking "oh this actually might not be so bad even though he plays rugby" after that smile exchange.

Okay so now onto less nice things first off Ben his a dick like a massive dick! Secondly can we talk about the big differences between been and Nick? Like Nick wants Charlie to talk to him and Ben is like "shut up I don't really care I just want to get my kissing a guy fix in" and interrupts Charlie mid sentence and not even in a like nice way??? It wasn't like playful banter it was Charlie trying to open up a little and he was shut down. ALSO the way that Ben wipes his mouth after they kiss....it just bothers me so much makes me feel like he is super ashamed and like idk wiping off gay germs or some shit like fuck you Ben. Then the abrupt exit and don't tell anyone and I just wanna like yell at him. UGH. Poor Charlie!

And back to the cute can we talk about them getting stuck next to each other trying to get into the door!!!! Like oh my goodness it's soooo fucking cuuuute!!!!!!! Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Then there's their cute little "Hi" montage and they smile EVERY time they see each other and NICK usually instigates the smile and the acknowledgement and that is just fucking huge fur Charlie and I LOVE IT!!!

The maths scene is fucking purrecious AF and I LOVE it! One, Nick, a jock is walking happily with the GAY NERD on their way to class, not judging him, not being rude or ignoring him, just chatting! Also Nick is like super down to earth about himself which I think is awesome, like "I am really not that cool, I promise" and most jocks etc are not like that, at least they weren't at my school... anyways the whole little "let me help you" ending in a small like grab fight thing fur the notebook and the pen marking Charlie is too cute and then Nick makes it a smiley face and is like HOLDING CHARLIE'S hand during it and just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! It's adorable, okay? Their sassy banter is some of my favorite shit ever! Then BAM! Back to the asshole and like I really enjoy how obvious the difference is between Ben and Nick though...Like Nick goes out of his WAY to notice Charlie and chat with him and Ben is like "how dare you even look at me in the hall" and I am like okay assbutt you need to fucking CHILL. And the look of concern on Nick's face after Ben is a dick is just lovely and I swear he wants to hug Charlie right there.

"The one who looks like a golden retriever" Like can we talk about how adorable and rather accurate this description is?????? I died the first time I heard it and it always makes me smiiiiile! Also when Charlie gives in and agrees it's adorable!

The pen explosion scene is adorable and I also just like that in both the comic and the show Nick just has Charlie help him in the bathroom and isn't all weird about it. They just laugh at the hilariousness of it all and they are clearly friends, it makes my heart so happy!!!!!!

"But like, Nick, he's different. He's nice." I just really love this quote because I LOVE that Charlie can see that especially given running into Ben the dickbag while talking with Nick but also just how Nick is in general. I like seeing Charlie learn how to trust himself a bit more when it comes to making friends, as well as really starting to realize that Ben is not a good person or a good fit fur him.

Elle is purrecious and I am always like please just go sit next to someone! But I get her being nervous I just wish she would tell Tao the truth about it so that he might have been able to help her work through it sooner...it sucks eating lunch alone I have been there (or well technically the only open table was the one the teachers ate at...)

And then back the dickbag and his bullshit apology. I feel like you can see that Charlie really is like yeah I don't want to argue but I'm calling bullshit. Then there is the kiss bit and Charlie's eyes aren't closed this time and fur him I feel like if he closes his eyes he's like really into it (kind of how I feel about it too) or maybe I am projecting but regardless...his eyes find the cute little smiley face Nick drew on his hand and I am just like YAAAAAAAAAAAAS tell Ben to fuck off and go kiss NICK! lol And I think that reminder of Nick helps him feel a little better in that moment. I think it also speaks volumes that Ben doesn't seem to even notice that Charlie isn't into their current kissing session...and I am like can you fucking pay attention to the person you are with please?????? He doesn't like this so go away!!!

"Eating lunch." Charlie I JUST LOVE YOUR SASS

Mr. Ajayi is fucking AMAZING and I LOVE HIM. He is purrecious! Charlie realizing how bad Ben is with a trusted teacher is great to me.

Charlie seeing Ben with that girl and immediately being like no I am good thanks makes me really purroud of him because that shit can be so hard. He did good especially considering how much anxiety he has about life. He could have been more direct about why he was done but still good start and he lets Ben have it eventually so good job! Though can we talk about Ben's audacity to be like "don't ignore me Charlie" even though that's pretty much all he does to Charlie damn near all fucking day??????

Charlie and Tori are sibling GOALS

"Someone I can have a laugh with, and who's nice, and kind, and likes being with me. (Looking out at Nick through the window) I'd probably just settle for someone tall." YOU LITERALLY DESCRIBED NICK TO A TEE just then Charlie, okay? Y'all are fucking adorable and Nick is your dream guy and I LOVE THIS so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nick...most people don't just watch their friends running around the track...just so you know...not their "friends" usually that is fur "crushes..."

Nick helping Charlie pick up his books and such is adorable and lovely and shows that Charlie is right, he is nice. YAAAAS to playing the drums being cool, I wish I could play the drums lol Also "do you want to join the rugby team?" Really???? Is that what you really want to ask him, Nick?" Nick offering to teach Charlie rugby warms my heart and I am like again that is usually something you come up with to spend more time with your crush without having to admit you like them! And Charlie's sassiness is once again on point!!!

"It's your funeral" Like idk Tao that part just cracks me up so much lol

NICK STANDING UP WHEN CHARLIE ENTERS THE LOCKER ROOM!!!!!!!!! Okay it just melts my shipper heart and it's so fucking adorable. Also the way that he is like idgaf that people can tell I want him here and that is wonderful.

I love that Charlie's can-do attitude is female okay??? Charlie's first tackle is purrfect and I love it! Nick is such a great teacher and such and just an epic friend to Charlie especially when Charlie is anxious or nervous and I LOVE THAT. Also I just love that they tackle each other...

Dover Beach is an amazing AF song and I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!! I also really enjoy slowly seeing Charlie start to become a member of the rugby team even if some of the players are just hopeless asshats, he does start to fit in and it makes me so happy!!!

The way that Nick and Charlie look at each other even in this episode is just purriceless and so spot on and I LOVE IT!!!! Alsoooo the little nervous giggle that Charlie gives at Nick's compliment is me and I just ahhhhhhhhhh so cute!!!!!!!! He is adorable! Nick being in tune enough with Charlie to tell when something is off is lovely and I am so glad he was there to tell Ben to go fuck himself!

"Fine" Ahhh yes I sometimes fine like this as wellllllll lol

Goooooooo Charlie! Tell the asshat that you know what is really going on and stand up fur yourself! Ben, you are a super massive dick and just because you hate yourself doesn't mean you have to lash out at someone you have already fucking hurt by using him!!!!!!!! Ugh like I am done with you go away now, okay? But of course you don't go away you show just how big of a dickbag you really are and force your kisses on Charlie...he said NO. And STOP so like fuck off asshole and LISTEN. No Means NO.

And Nick to the rescue! He is a cute little Gryffindor Retriever and I love him! Also yay fur people fucking understanding that stop means you should fucking STOP. I love him and the fact that he clearly understands boundaries because they are important.

"You say sorry a lot...don't say it!" Like can we talk about how good this is gonna be fur Charlie! If you have someone like literally helping you unlearn something like apologizing fur existing because over apologizing is not good or necessary fur you to do, you get so much better at it and faster and just like AHHHHHHHHH it's gonna be good and healing! Having a partner that wants to help you heal is AMAZING and so helpful to the healing process!

That little shoulder clap HUG!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY FEELS EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!!!!!!! SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Also Charlie's little happy smirk smile at where Nick's hand had been is purrfection!!!!!!!!!

I listen to this soundtrack on repeat like all the time but certain songs I have to listen to on repeat by themselves and Dover Beach and Don't Delete the Kisses are two of those I listen to numerous times in a row before continuing on...EVERY TIME

Nick is clearly thinking about Charlie on the way home and like daydreaming and I LOVE IT.

Charlie having no idea how to start a conversation with Nick it's adorable and so fucking relatable! And yeah they are cute and I love how accurate the "what the fuck do I say" sections are in this series!

Nick's little smile after staring at what Charlie sent him and that little x at the end! It's the best and so fucking cute and I am always like yeahhhhh he's not just your furriend anymore, he's your crush, just fyi lol

That wraps it up! Just really wanted to squee about it all at once sooo here it is! Also I just really love this entire series and the web comic and the cast and the soundtrack, it's all fucking amazing! Also it's a nice warm hug and safe space fur us all while the world is...well...Not.

#my fangirl heart #heartstopper #heartstopper series #nick nelson #nick and charlie #charlie spring #heartstopper netflix #heartstopper show #charlie and nick #nick x charlie #heartstopper season 1 #so many feels #warm hugs

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resilientkitteh · 2 years

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Random Heartstopper Rewatch Fun! Episode 2: Crush

This will be a lot like my last post over the first episode so buckle up and on we go!!!

Okay so first off Charlie is adorable and awesome and I LOVE HIM. He can play the drums so well too which is EPIC!!! Anyways I love the way that Nick is like stalking his insta right now and like getting an even better feeling fur the type of person Charlie is! Also yay fur another cat purrson!!!

Kit's acting skills are on POINT and just fucking amazing! That picture where he thinks about how it must have been fur Charlie to be bullied in the corridors and such and the way that he is tearing up just gets me! Also they are adorable and I just really relate to constantly having to retype certain messages a million times XD

Charlie trying to figure out how to respond and like stop Nick from worrying and being so stressed about it that he shouts is a mood and I have been there! Also Nellie is the best little doggo ESA and I LOVE HER!!!! Points to Nick fur getting Charlie to open up, well done sir, very well done! Also awwwwww Nick cares about Charlieeeee!!!! I mean it's hella obvious to like everyone but it's still cute and Charlie's brain is stubborn af so he needs to hear that a lot!

And we are back to Ben the dickbag…FUCK you sir, okay?? Like you are being all nice and shit just so you can use this sweet little gay cinnamon roll and I really don't like you.

Charlie apologizing fur exposing that Ben is a dick is just…oh my goodness you adorable little cinnamon roll stop apologizing!!! Nick being super understanding and supportive here is such a win! I love it! Also dumb way to try and see if someone is straight Charlie…just saying lol But then again Nick is all confused soooo there is that. Nick's little smile when Charlie sends that heart emoji though!!!! Squeeeeeee it's adorable and I LOVE IT.

And we are at Higgs! Well done avoiding having someone assigned to look after you Elle! Seriously that sounds terrifying to me and just like it could end badly. Granted Tara is amazing but getting people to hang out with you because an adult is like do this thing please is not a fun time. Also Elle just go say hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

I really love the song Girls it's adorable and so accurate also it's nice to have so many gay songs in this showwwww!!!!!!!!

I LOVE how everyone is like "Nick is a massive heterosexual" and yetttttt it's like you don't know that. Just being masculine and good at sports doesn't make you straight!!!!!

Oh my goodness this convo with Mr. Ajayi is just like one of my favorite things ever! First there is "a question for the ages" which is incredibly accurate and I feel like so many of us have been there like shit we fell fur the straight person. UGH. Anyways onto his very accurate in my years at least line of "being a teenager is terrible" and I am like yaas an adult who gets it! Though I am sure he is also being somewhat overdramatic but like yeah it's not a fun time, or at least it's not fur a lot of us…

"I'm afraid you're just going to have to suffer then." Like I just love how open he is about it and like I gave you other solutions but you said no so alas that means you must suffer as all of us do when we fall fur a straight person. And also just Charlie being adamant of like NO I am gonna be his friend I don't care if it hurts I want to be near him! It's just precious!

Elle has a friend!!! I love how just nice and accepting and inviting Tara is, she is really an epic friend! Though I also had to chuckle at Elle's hesitation like…do you actually want me to come have lunch with you or were you voluntold? I get that feel.

Darcy has NO FILTER!!! Oh my goodness she makes me cackle so much! "Tara says you have no friends" also Tara's reactions to her words are always so fucking priceless to me. Darcy and Tara are purrfection together and I just really love their vibe and energy! They are so fun and great friends for Elle!

Nellie is adorable af and I love her! I also love how Nick is like showing off pictures of her to Charlie! Side note here, who hates animals so much that your kids can't have one?? Like even a little one or one that like has an enclosure or tank etc. That just bothers me is all anyways… Can we talk about how nonchalantly Nick invites over the OPENLY GAY kid!!!!!!!!! Like everyone thinks Nick is straight, he has some unfortunately homophobic people in his year and yet he is still just a great guy who wants to hang out with someone he really enjoys spending time with and doesn't seem to find it weird or anything. Just well clearly you have to come meet my dog then, obviously.

I swear you can see Charlie just light up when the idea of going to Nick's is mentioned and Idk I feel like (granted I was never really allowed out my house like ever) but going over to a friend's house is like a sign that you are close? So it's definitely not helping Charlie's intense crush on Nick but it makes him happy and he is starting to wonder if maybe there is something there? Or at least if he can spend even more time with his incredible and attractive new best friend. lol

The HAIR conversation with Tori just really sets up the whole adorableness with NICK in a few minutes and I FUCKING love it!!! Also Tori randomly appearing all the time is great and I am so glad I am not the only person who gets surprised all the fucking time by quite walkers. Charlie asking about his hair and Tori just insisting it LOOKS THE SAME is greatness and Charlie is just like why did I even ask you again? Clearly he is a little nervous and it's adorable and yeah I just love Charlie! They have a fun and yet very caring sibling relationship and I enjoy it! Nick being nervous about ringing that doorbell is precious and I am so glad he rang it!

The way that Nick and Charlie smile at each other whenever they first see each other is priceless and it makes my little shipper heart so fucking happy!!!!! Nellie is precious and adorable and I love how Charlie is like yep well I am gonna pet this doggo right now.

It takes Nick less than a MINUTE to realize Charlie got a haircut. I live with my partner and sometimes it takes me HOURS to realize that shit lol So yeah ummmm you are paying a LOT of attention to Charlie there Nick…just saying. And he just like immediately starts playing with it!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Squeeeeee!!! I LOVE IT! And Charlie being like…um oh I didn't expect you to notice…Then Nick catching himself and instead of telling Charlie that he looks great he says that his haircut looks great and just AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Like I saw you and what you were going to say just say it! lol Saved by Nellie whimpering to go out lol because like one of them would have had to keep going to fill the silence. Charlie's smile when he is like invited into the house is adorable!!!!!! He is so fucking happy!

The way that Nick just showers Charlie in compliments and words of affirmation is absolutely precious and it makes me so happy!! Squeeee also Charlie I love you but you are most definitely a nerd and at some point you are going to have to accept that. Can we talk about how much Nick seems to really admire Charlie? All those compliments and a list of things Charlie is good at is just so wonderful and with all Charlie has been through and is still going through it's so nice to see someone truly care about him for who he is and such and just AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Charlie putting his hand over Nick's mouth and practically sideways tackling him onto the bed is adorable and I just really LOVE how comfortable they are with each other!! AHHHHHHHH So fucking cute!!!! And I love how Nick is laughing the whole time he tries to fight back and get up. And as they sit back up and Charlie gets excited about something, Nick is just literally staring at Charlie with this goofy AF clearly head over heels in love grin on his face and it's precious and adorable and I LOVE IT!!! Charlie is staring out the window and doesn't notice it though.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Just trying to get that out because like I LOVE THIS WHOLE snow day scene so fucking much!! There is a reason it won an award and just AHHHHHHHHHH FEEEEELS my fangirl heart! Like it almost makes me wish I liked snow lol Anyways lets get into it, yeah? So first off, they just look at each other and wordlessly move off the bed in unison because like they are fucking going outside together. I LOVE THAT CHARLIE IS BORROWING NICK'S CLOTHES!!!!!!!! It's in the comic as well which I LOVE but it's just nice to see it and to see like Charlie trying them on and being soooooo little in them because Nick is like a tank compared to him lol and of course that hoodie looks good on Charlie, Nick, you have a crush on him and a lot of people love having their crushes wear their clothes...just saying...lol

"Dance with Me" Is a beautiful af song and definitely one I binge listen to alllllllllllllllll the fucking time! It's also just so perfect for this scene and these two because as you listen to the lyrics I feel like they just flow well with what the boys are feeling!

Nellie coming to play with them makes me super happy too because like she is adorable, they are adorable it just multiplies the ADORABLENESS!!!! And while Charlie is loving spending time with Nick I think spending time with Nellie is good for his mental health as well! Nick and Charlie having a snow ball fight is amazing and I LOVE it! Also that shot with Nick like tossing the snowball and catching it before throwing, idk it just always feels very skilled to me granted I generally hiss at the snow and try to hibernate so maybe it doesn't take that much skill? The way Charlie laughs when he hits Nick and just the sass and the way that they are so comfy with each other and just honestly having a good time makes my heart so happy!!! Nick just playing dirty and tossing a handful of snow on Charlie's head is adorable as well.

"But I think I really like you" from Dance With Me is so accurate for this scene and just AHHHHHHHHH I LOVE how perfect this soundtrack is, okay??????

And then NICK IS PLAYING WITH CHARLIE'S HAIR!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH Like how fucking cute and obvious can you be???? Which prompts Charlie to do the cute little nervous giggle and smile and just AHHHHHHHHHH then Charlie just starts making snow people and Nick is there just photographing him and I just CAN'T at how fucking cute and couply they ALREADY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!! And then Nick joins him and they have these two cute snow impressions that they make side by side hands nearly fucking brushing and just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why are you two so damn cute??? My heart is gonna do an explode, okay?

Then in comes Nellie to join and make the selfies even cuter!!! I love the way they are both smiling in the photos as well as how they SMILE AT EACH OTHER after taking more photos and they are just both so clearly into each other!!!!!!!!! Nellie is laying on Nick but touching Charlie too and just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE IT!!! So like couply and just like domestic-y though they aren't like married or anything I know but it's like homey and hopeful and precious and I love it! Also Nick just shouting more to the sky...I do that with rain so like I get it and he is adorable! I would also love so much more of this SCENE okay? I could watch all of the footage and just never be bored lol I LITERALLY repeat this scene almost every time I watch this episode! Skipping repeating it today was I am typing this monstrosity of FEEEEELS lol

I love Nick's cup and I don't really know why, I just do. I think it's cool that he has something that is clearly his I guess? Also yes Charlie is lovely, glad you noticed! Sarah Nelson is like a dream Mum, okay?

(about Charlie) "He's very different to your other friends, you seem much more yourself around him"

Nick, looking thoughtful and being like "Do I?" Then trying to spin the wheels to start his gay crisis as he is like what does that mean??? I think this guy is awesome, I want to spend all my time with him, he is adorable and cute and I just like so much about him and I feel comfortable with him...so what does this mean???? Or at least that is what I think Nick's internal monologue would sound like lol and that little chuckle at the end of it before the fade where he is like...yeah I guess you have a point there mum.

You can tell that Nick is like daydreaming about Charlie outside of the gate before he even pulls out his phone. Granted he is all sorts of confuse and not 100% sure why he needs to text Charlie but he does so out comes the phone. Imogen, I love you but go away you are not helping poor Nick! Random bit of info...hearing "your Mom" jokes doesn't sting any more so yay healing? Anyways onto the show! Nick now second guessing himself and his wants because Imogen opened her mouth and made him feel awkward about wanting to spend more time with Charlie so soon after spending time together...UGH Imogen...lol

Charlie watching Nick play rugby and his little smile AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH so fucking cute and adorable!!!!!!! Tao trying to act like he knows rugby lol you are fooling no one lol Why is he so anti Nick??????? I feel like he is just not being nice when he says "rugby king" and then of course Tao is meddling and has innaccurate and very dated information on Nick's feelings and I know this and I am just screaming at my tv like why doesn't anyone just fucking ask NICK??????? And Charlie you are spot on little cutie so just keep dreaming and make your move!!!!!!!!!!!! And he was definitely flirting with you Charlie, 10000000% Ah yes Tao, please tell Charlie the name of this girl so he can obsess properly, thanks.

Oh hey look at that! They just won, everyone is celebrating AROUND Nick and guess who he is fucking WATCHING? His teammates on the field? His friends? His coach? NO. He is staring at CHARLIE and watching him!! Gazing longingly at the other boy! And you know waving at him and such after the game like "that was fur you" kind of how sometimes football players like hold the ball up after scoring? Anyways definitely an action I associate with love for the recipient! And Tao is doing a meddle again...however we have to talk about this line!

"As your token straight friend, it's my duty to remind you that sometimes people are straight. It's an unfortunate fact of life." Like I just love the drama here but also the way that he is trying to sympathize with Charlie even though he is straight and Charlie isn't. Idk it's just a great fucking line to me. Isaac shipping Nick and Charlie is amazing and epic and I love that his reasoning is that he wants to believe in romance. I just really find him very endearing and funny. And when he's excited Isaac seems to talk rapidly which I do so it makes me feel seen.

Elle being like will you 3 calm down and talk at a pace that someone can understand???? Lol then her response to Charlie liking Nick just oh my goodness!! Why does he have to be straight??? Y'all need to just talk to the guy!!! Tao's sassy face about Elle being the cool and mysterious new girl is just fucking adorable and I love them together! Charlie trying to brush off his crush with Nick and I am like you aren't being stupid, your friends are being stubborn headed and asssssssuming! Then Elle caves to ask if she has the chance and we get to see a cute little group hug and I really enjoy how close knit they are and I love seeing them all happy!

Suddenly, Elle gets the opportunity to ask!!! I do think it's so funny with Darcy's pronunciation and her hilarious "accidental" gender change when she answers the question, it's just a very cute moment! And how Tara just gives Darcy so much shit in a loving way they are super precious! Elle is already putting it together that they might be a couple...y'all are not as subtle as you think okay??

Oh my goodness Charlie's little sad cat pouty face when he is thinking Nick likes Tara is just adorable and sad and he needs a HUG. Specifically a NICK HUG!!! Can we talk about how they added like the blackness around the edges to symbolize like negative thoughts, depression and anxiety in this? I love it so much because it is so accurate like you are seeing the world as it is but all that darkness and awful thoughts and shit is just creeping in around the edges until it threatens to block out all the light and the good. I just really feel that and I LOVE the accuracy of it. So anyways Charlie does a depressive zone spiral thing and then BAM! Nick manages to get him back to reality and be like hellooooo what's going on?

Then when Charlie doesn't really seem to come out of his funk Nick is like okay, lemme move closer to you, give you my undivided attention and see what is the matter! Because Nick is that in tune with Charlie's emotions that he knows almost instinctively that something is off! I feel like you only have that connection with a few people so I LOVE how close they already are and just how into Charlie Nick is!!! Also the face he makes when Charlie is clearly struggling to say anything like AHHHHHHHH MY FEEEEELS!! Charlie you sir are a chicken and the coming drama could be avoided if you just asked your question!!!! lol But nice save inviting him to your house! And Nick's little happy chuckle and smile at being invited and also possibly just having his heart warmed that Charlie wants him to come over while finding Charlie being nervous to ask absolutely endearing!

And we are back to the world's least subtle lesbians lol XD Elle has it figured out! Mwahahahaha! Darcy, never become a spy lol "admiring Tara's hands" oooookay. Yay for them trusting Elle and Elle having her own Higgs Trio!!!!

AHHHHHH how are their smiles so fucking cute! They are just like ahh yes its you and I love you so big smile of love! And Nick really can't play the drums but I love his concentration and effort lol Also he just has great facial expressions so well done Kit! The fact that Charlie just sits on this TINY fucking stool right next to NICK, his CRUSH, just baffles me! He is clearly like oh this is safe I am teaching him something but like he totally takes Nick by surprise and teaches him something VERY different. Charlie is just so into the beat and the music and enjoying having Nick there to show the drums to and Nick is like enamored AF with Charlie and staring at their hands because Charlie is basically holding his hands, and then he just stares at Charlie's face and watches him get lost in the beat and just smiles at him lovingly and it's absolutely precious and just AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He just keeps looking back and forth from Charlie holding his hands to the cute drummer's face and I am dead! Also Charlie you sir are one oblivious teen at times lol That awkward bit of laughter at the end is adorable and just ahhhh!!! Charlie seems to eventually realize how close they are because he gets up and backs away with a lame excuse but it's whatever lol

And then we are downstairs and they are watching a movie together and I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!! Charlie is an adorable sleeper and watching Nick just like watch him and smile softly at him...and I feel like Nick knows without a doubt that Charlie trusts him at this point because like he is sleeping just out in the open next to him and it's not even that late so I hope he realizes that and it's part of why he smiles! And the fireworks as he puts his hand over Charlie's!!! AHHHHH!!!! And then he tries it again, but he just can't get his nerve to take Charlie's hand which is sad but also just fucking adorable!!!! Plus he now is aware that he wants to hold Charlie's hand so we have some progress towards his proper full on gay crisis so there is that. Also the way his heart is clearly racing is just so fucking realistic, it feels like that and I am just so glad with how it's portrayed!

Neither one of them wants the night to end!!!!!!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are so into each other and want to spend alllll the time together and it makes me so happy!!!! Nick I think the word you are looking for is "CUTE" not cuddly but I mean you aren't wrong with that choice...just not quite on the mark as to what you really are thinking...unless that means "I would really like to cuddle you" which is fair and far more accurate so well done! lol Nick's smile when he looks Charlie over again to affirm that he is indeed looking cuddly, is just so cute and nervous and into Charlie and I LOVE IT!!! And then suddenly Nick is hugging Charlie!!!!! Out of nowhere! And it takes Charlie by surprise so he like waits to respond and hug him back fur a bit like...tf is going on? But then he is like oh fuck Nick is HUGGING ME!!!!!!!!!! I need to hug him back! And I want to believe that they are both in their own little paradise regardless of any other emotions they are feeling in this moment. Just blisssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nick being nervous and not really knowing how to explain his need to hug Charlie so not really making eye contact as he leaves is just too fucking cute and relatable! I LOVE HIM! And he is like "see you Monday" trying to not make it a big deal but they both know it's a BIG FUCKING DEAL. It wasn't even a short hug, okay? This was like at least a TEN SECOND HUG!!!!!!!!!!! Not your usual hug length for a friend unless you haven't seen them in furever I feel like and especially not a good bye see you in a day one...but that could just be me...

"I don't think he's straight." First off Tori I just really love you, okay? You are a great big sister and I love the way you are there for Charlie. Secondly I love how you just magically appear all the time and can clearer read people better than Charlie lol I also want to congratulate you on being the first person to even entertain the idea that Nick isn't straight, besides Charlie of course. So yeah thank you!!!!!!!!

And start Nick's gay panic mode, like hard core! As in enough to start googling lol poor Nick that shit is so hard to understand!!!! I love you so much and you have such an amazing journey and we were all rooting for you every step of the way! Also you are adorable and just so aware of yourself that I applaud you on that and for really trying to understand rather than bury it even though it is scary!

CHARLIE'S text to his friends makes me giggle so fucking much! the capitalization for Hot Straight Boy and the fact that he is like um is this normal??? Also it was a LONG hug, okay? I counted! Tao's sassy response is just very Tao and makes me giggle though not my favorite idea to put in Charlie's mind.

Nick just looking through his pictures with Charlie and smiling is so fucking cute and sweet!!! And we have ALL FUCKING DONE IT! Don't you lie! So yeah again very cute and accurate and just AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! And the song, Why Am I Like This??? It's fucking AMAZING and I totally understand it so fucking much! I get that and especially when it comes to like some of the lyrics "maybe you don't really want me there..." and "thinking right over every single word of the conversation we just had" such an excellent portrayal of anxiety as well as potentially depression or some other side effect of a host of other mental illnesses. The music just fits really well with Nick doubting everything so much and being anxious about it as well as just being incredibly relatable in some way for so many!

Annnnnnnnd here comes Elle with the save of Tara is NOT into Nick! Huzzah! The way that Charlie sits up when he reads that text is adorable AF and like I did that, I remember doing that lol I mean I also do similar things when I read a great fic though soooo XD

And now Nick is trying to figure out why he wants to hold hands with and cuddle Charlie. Like seriously I am so purroud of you Nick! I know it's absolutely terrifying but you are doing it and I am so purroud of you! And thanks fur being true to yourself and showing us all that it can be scary but it's so worth it! And then it ends...as he hits send fur the search "Am I gay?" which is such a great ending but also AHHHHHHHHHHHHH my FEELS!!!!!!!!!!! I always want to scream you are into Charlie regardless soooo KISSSSSSS HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!

#my fangirl heart #heartstopper #heartstopper series #charlie spring #nick nelson #heartstopper netflix #nick x charlie #charlie and nick #heartstopper show #nick and charlie #heartstopper s1

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