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ambitionsource · 5 years

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S1 Rewatch: Lena’s Take [1.07]

whew! what an episode! also, i hope it’s no trouble that i send my rewatches in a day late... sorry!

favourite scene: this episode has SO many good scenes... my god. I have to say the paint balloon war scene, though, just for the a) pure chaotic energy and b) good character moments. farkle getting absolutely HAMMERED with paint balloons. isadora screaming war cries (if you imagine this scene without music it would be HILARIOUS), riley being so scared of getting hit she pulls a me back in third grade playing dodgeball. dylan taking a dramatic slow mo paint balloon to the chest. zay and charlie working perfectly together as a tactical team 🥺, ending with both of them absolutely MUCKING lucas as he tries to choose between the revolution and his blooming feelings for riley.... they have NO time for straight nonsense. plus charlie having an ANEURSYM when zay literally HUGS him is so funny (i literally said out loud “charlie sweetie”)... the “intricate rituals that allow you to touch the skin of other men” energy it has... WERE YOU AWARE THAT I LOVE THEM? a good scene on so many comedic and emotional levels! it really demonstrates the boxes the students are stuck in, and how hard they’re going to have to work to get out of them by the end of this ep, and, on a larger scale, the end of the season.... the Nuances.

favourite performance: the amount of ICONIC performances this episode makes it SO HARD TO CHOOSE! maya leading the performers with team.... riley’s melodramatic but still heart-wrenching rendition of cry and you cry alone... farkle’s emotional struggles showcased in control... honestly, it’s a so close for me between thnks fr th mmrs and come out and play... but despite the incredible power of thnks fr th mmrs and the fact that i LOVE the techies’ family dynamic the MOST, especially when they perform together because it’s so few and far between, i have to give it to come out and play. a) i LOVE that song, b) it undercurrents my favourite scene in the episode.... and c) its a zc duet. im SORRY but like i think it serves REALLY well to highlight the frustrations and core of the scenes: a taunting, frustrated battle between two sides who want nothing more than to be kept separated. also, for two characters who still don’t know each other SUPER well... zc really work excellently as a team, directly contradicting the isolation and separation from others they both discussed feeling last episode... They CLICK... n that hug.... i love them so much. however i must point out the POWER thnks fr th mmrs has to be led by dylan and asher. like PLEASE. theyre baby. i love them so much and the joy pumped into my soul whenever asher gets to sing? unmatched.

favourite character this ep: lucas fucking friar ABSOLUTELY RULED this episode. king stomps back into school in his giant stompy boots and stages a giant stompy revolution. lucas’ ability to just show up and throw places into chaos is WONDERFUL, and focusing on it means he ran this episode. outnumbered by enemies and returning late, he staged a full-fledged week-long revolution... and it was successful. he also had some of the best lines this episode, and i love how, despite the fact that he pretends not to care about ANYTHING, he has such a dedication to his friends that makes it only obvious how much he actually cares about everything. this episode was lucas in his element, showcasing the way he’s softening around riley (i LOVE they) and how steadfast and determined he is in his beliefs, stances, and endeavours. lucas cares, okay? he cares a LOT. i love lucas a lot and if i had more energy i would go into an unnervingly deep psychoanalysis of him... but i don’t, so i’ll say i love him the MOST and i’ll leave it at that.

favourite line: lucas: It’s like they say, you know. “If we burn, you burn with us.” That’s classic literature, right? jack, deadpan: The Hunger Games. | also “white nonsense”. EXCELLENT, zay.

an underrated moment: yindra and nigel being absolutely iconic this episode. the two of them plus jade are the three side characters i feel unfairly attached to. the moment where they go to meet lucas and isadora to straight up say they’re tired of the bullshit.. they were actually real standouts this episode and it really goes to show how much main character drama effects the sise characters, which isn’t discussed very much and is ALWAYS nice and refreshing to see. plus nigel as mulligan made my little heart sing.... HIS BREAK DANCE JUMP UP!! get nigel on america’s got talent, i DARE YOU.

something i missed the first time around: FARKLE STARTING TO RANT AT ISADORA WHEN HE FEELS UNFAIRLY TARGETED, FORESHADOWING HIS DIVA MELTDOWN IN THE FINALE... BRILLIANT. ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT. we get a subtle warning that we do NOT heed. i also think i overlooked how clearly farkle’s mental health issues are showcased this episode, which improve as he gets friends later on, but are ripped wide open again in the finale.

first impression vs your reread impression: loved it both times, more this time. this episode is a major turning point for the main conflict of the season (techie & performer divide) and is SO goddamn intense, especially with the end scene... the bit where we get shots of EVERYONE alone on their phones, ensuring it could be anyone at school? INCREDIBLE. SHOWSTOPPING. love love loved this ep.

literally NO TROUBLE AT ALL lena dear, we love to read them regardless of when you send!! the fact that you’re being so diligent about participating is like impactful as it is <3 and lucky us bc your thoughts are always so GOOD. i literally don’t even know where to start because you just said so many good things. what i WILL say is that you may get the chance to talk to nigel or yindra or jade v soon... and also i WILL be looking forward to that deep psychoanalysis of lucas james sometime in the future,, but SHOUT OUT to you pointing out another foreshadowing moment... but also ma’am your descriptions of things are just so poetic. like where is your aaa fandom blog in the fake aaa universe so i can follow and reblog all your meta posts as the seasons unfold being like damn... yeah... points were made,,,,

#S1 reread #S2 countdown #submission #its the truth luv! its the truth!

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mellicose · 6 years

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That Woman Over There - Chapter 16

A You Me and Him Fix-it Fic

Rating: Teen, for some profanity and mature themes

Word count: 4880

Warnings: none

Summary: ~ Set after the birth of Monty, Olivia’s baby ~ A dear friend of Olivia comes to visit for a week, and she disturbs the fragile peace between her, Alex, and John.

He ran back upstairs, beaming. “Got a really nice table, and they’ve got the oxtails simmering as we speak,” he said, and kissed her cheek noisily.

“Same place?” she said.

“No … did you want to go again? I can give ‘em a call if you like.”

“No,” she said. “It’s nice it’s not the same restaurant.” She shrugged. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her.

“We had our first kiss there. Is it because it’s, kinda, 'our place' now?”

She groaned. “Are we going to be the ‘our song’, ‘our park’, ‘our breakfast cereal’ type of couple?”

“So we’re a couple?” he said, lifting her off her feet.

“I mean, two people with things in common who enjoy each other’s company…” she said.

“In myriad ways,” he purred into her ear.

“Go on,” she said, wrapping her legs around him.

“I could, but it’s mostly because we had our little crispy potato date there, right?”

She nodded. He gently let her down and ran back downstairs without another word. She followed, and he nearly knocked her over trying to get back up the stairs. He held a long, flat box.

“What’s that?”

He handed it to her. “I saw it in the window and it just screamed you.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and waited as she sat on a step and opened the box. Nestled in marbled pink tissue was the most lovely dress she’d ever seen.

“Oh my God,” she said, shaking it out. It was a gleaming shade of yellow. She popped up and pressed it against her body. “It’s so gorgeous!” She ran upstairs and stripped quickly in his bedroom.

“Let me help you zip,” he said. The zipper went up easily until he reached the top.

“Oof! Let me just-” she pressed her breasts to her chest. “Okay, try now.” It went up, but it was a tight fit. She turned and held her arms out. “Tada!” Her breasts were tempting mounds pushed high on her chest by the tailoring.

“Enticing,” he said, putting his hands on her waist. He turned her to the mirror. “You like?”

“It’s so … yellow,” she said, caressing the skirt down. The crinoline underneath to make it puff up made her legs itch, but it was nostalgic since her mom made her wear them when she was a girl. She wondered what she might say if she saw her now, in John’s arms. Would she tell her she looked beautiful? Would she notice how happy she was, or would she veer the conversation to her own pains?

“What are you thinking?” he said, looking at her face in the mirror. She snapped out of it and noticed the corners of her mouth pointed down. She gave him a radiant grin.

“Nothing important. I love the dress. It’s perfect. Really,” she said, and kissed him. She twirled a couple times for him, and the skirt spun high up on her thighs.

“Marilyn has nothing on you,” he said, sitting down to stare. She bounced on his lap and kissed him.

🌹🌹🌹

“This is only time you’ll see me sucking on a bone,” Alex said, giggling as she licked every last bit of sauce from the osso buco.

“Al!” Olivia said, shaking her head.

“You love it,” Alex said. She winked at her, and kept sucking.

“I’m absolutely stuffed. Thanks so much for dinner,” Olivia said as she spooned some rice gruel into Monty’s mouth.

“I love feeding you ladies,” he said, stretching and putting his arm over both Connie and Alex’s chairs. “It’s the least I can do, anyway, for your introducing me to Connie.”

“Uhuh,” Alex said. The stripped bone clicked on her plate. “So what’s the plan, Daddy Manbucks? What are you gonna do with your time now?”

He sighed and put his hands on his knees. “Well, first of all, I’m gonna make Mrs. Mulligan’s desk. I don’t know know much beyond that.”

“You’re a born computer nerd, man. You’re telling me you’re not gonna do anything else IT-related?” she said. She raised her hand to a passing waiter and asked for the dessert menu.

“Sure,” he said. “I have some embryonic thoughts about that, but for now, I want to enjoy the space I’m in for a bit.” She pulled Connie closer, and she turned and kissed him. Olivia’s nose twitched, but she remained silent.

“Fuck, I’d already be planning my 6 month stay at a surfing retreat in Costa Rica if I suddenly got hold of a couple million quid,” Alex said. Olivia’s eyes widened - it was impolite to speak about money that way. Alex patted her knee. “Of course you and Monty would be coming as well. Duh.”

“I’m a terrible surfer,” Connie said. “But the flora and the food there is gorgeous.”

“You’ve been?” Alex said, leaning in.

“We’ve been,” Connie said, pointing to Olivia.

“You saucy tart, why didn’t you tell me?” Alex said, nudging her. Monty giggled.

“It was right after graduating uni-”

Connie interrupted. “-It was a surprise, and I don’t think she would’ve come if I hadn’t told her we were going to Blackpool for the weekend.”

“Don’t think you were being terribly clever. You mentioned before hating Blackpool. That it was nothing compared to Caribbean beaches-”

“Eh, that’s a bit rude. I’ve had some lovely times in Blackpool,” John said, looking at Connie.

“I’m sure you have, mate,” Alex said, rolling her eyes.

“Not like that. It was one of the only places outside of Scotland my ma liked to go on holiday when I was a boy.”

Alex bit her lip. “Were people cruel? There’s no way to hide a brace at the beach,” she asked bluntly.

“Sometimes. But I was halfway used to it by then. A spin on the ferris wheel and a 99 and all pain was forgotten,” he said. “Now that I think about it, I haven’t gone in over a decade. That’s mad.”

“A bit of lager. A bit of gambling. Lots of pretty girls in bikinis,” Alex said nostalgically. She turned to Olivia. “We should go.”

“I don’t gamble,” she said, pulling Monty out of the high chair.

“Yeah you do,” Alex said. Olivia was confused. Alex’s mouth broke into a grin, and she began to sing softly. “If you change your mind, I’m the first in line…”

Connie laughed, and sang along. “Honey, I’m still free, take a chance on me…”

“If you need me let me know, gonna be around,” John sang in his rusty falsetto.

“If you’ve got no place to go, if you’re feeling down,” Alex sang, keeping the beat on the table. Olivia’s face reddened. She grabbed Alex’s hands as the maitre’d approached, obviously irritated by the noise.

“Is everything to your satisfaction?” he asked them in a nasal posh accent. His eyes darted from face to face, gauging sobriety.

“Brilliant, Jeeves. Could you fetch us another bottle of cham? Your finest bottle of Dom Perig-nawn, if you please,” Alex chirped.

John groaned.

The man breathed in slowly. “I will let your server know,” he said, and started walking away.

“Wait!” Alex said, holding her hand up. He did a crisp about face. “And the daily special - the panna cotta? One of those as well. Extra panna.” She looked around at them. “You want something?” They all shook their heads no. The man nodded, then left.

“Why did you have to give him so much trouble?” John said.

“One of my stepfathers was a maitre’d,” she said, sucking her teeth. “One of ‘em. He was an asshole.” She shrugged.

“Then you should know it’s a good idea to be nice to the people who serve you,” Connie said. “Kaylie’s husband is a restaurateur in New York. You wouldn’t believe what even the high end places get into,” she shook her head. “That’s why I pray before I eat.”

“I didn’t hear you say grace tonight,” Alex said.

“I did it silently,” Connie said, and winked at her. She reached over to squeeze her hand. “I’m sorry your stepfather was such a jerk,” she said, and kissed it. Alex was disarmed by the easy affection.

“He wasn’t a creep or anything,” she said. “Just … he was bitter and horrible to my mam. He wasn’t even that fit either, but she thought it was nice that he served all the posh mucky mucks in town. I eventually told her it wasn’t contagious,” she said. “Oh, and speaking of mucky mucks, you all set for LA?” she asked Connie.

“I was. I think. A lot has happened in the last couple of days,” she said. “It’s crazy busy, and I have to be hyper-focused.” She rubbed her face.

“I think you ruined her focus, John,” Alex said, and chuckled.

“I’m sorry,” he said, hugging her.

“Don’t ever be sorry. It’s just been a while since I’ve been in this particular headspace,” she said, smiling at him.

“Oooh,” Alex said softly, and poured the last of the champagne in her glass.

“Darling, could you hold Monty? I’ve got to-” Olivia pointed toward the restroom.

“Me too,” Connie said, and stood with her. “I’ll be right back,” she said to John.

“I wait with bated breath,” he said, and kissed her.

“Cornball,” she said, and followed Olivia.

🌹🌹🌹

Alex bounced Monty on her knee. “So, it’s going well?” she said.

“Yeah,” he said simply, and put his elbows on the table. “It’s strange. It’s been … so easy.”

Alex snorted. John rolled his eyes. “So what’s up your snout?” he asked. They could both play that game.

“How do you mean?”

“You’ve been … I can’t even put my finger on it, but… it’s like you don’t like her.”

“Are you asking for approval? I gave you the keys to the kingdom. Do you think I would do that if I thought she was a bitch?” He winced at the word, and her face softened.

“She’s nice,” he said, but the inflection of his voice demanded approval.

“Why do you care what I think anyway? At least, after Alfie?” she said.

He shivered. “That got weird quickly,” he said. “You still talk to her?”

“After you shagged, she told you that she felt like she had sort of shagged me too, through you. What do you think?”

They laughed, and he stole a sip of her champagne. He was glowing in a way she had never seen, and she didn’t quite know why it discomfited her. He tried to break her and Olivia up, and after truly getting to know him, it was not something he would’ve done had he not felt very strongly for her…

He coughed, then drank down the rest of the champagne as the server came with a fresh bottle and poured them both a glass.

“To new beginnings,” he said, holding his glass up.

“To lasting friendship,” she said, and clinked it.

They took a sip and he smiled. “It was a very good year. You’ve got excellent taste.”

“If it’s on you, absolutely,” she said, and winked. He looked impatiently around for Connie, and it filled her with bittersweetness. There was once a time, not so long ago, where he might’ve done the same thing for her. She told him in no uncertain terms that it was not what she wanted, but he choss to stay and be a friend to her and Olivia. And it was nice, after everything that happened, to have him near. She wasn’t an island. Her pain was his pain.

But ever since he set eyes on Connie, he was gone. She felt it in her bones. She knew the look well - she had seen it on too many men’s faces while growing up. They would come, get what they wanted from her mam, play house for a bit, but once the game got stale they were off to the next one.

“What are you mulling?” he said, sucking foam from his glass.

“John, I’m sorry,” she said. She looked down at the amber bubbles.

“Why?” he said, looking at his cellphone for the time.

“I was a jerk to you when we first met. I’m sorry about that, but you were such an overeager douchelord poser - a giant, too wide-smiling, mouthbreathing dorkass nerd-”

“Okay,” he said, smiling.

“-A too tall, too skinny, too clever pseudo-dweebling who was trying way too hard to be anyone but who you-”

He grabbed her wrist lightly and squeezed. “I think I get it now. You really don’t need to continue.”

She looked at his hand. His touch was just as gentle as it ever was, but not quite as warm. Not anymore.

“It would’ve been nice,” she said quickly, and swallowed.

“What?” he said.

“If we had Jo. You would’ve been a great father,” she said, her brow furrowing with passion. He squeezed her hand.

“Thanks, Al,” he said. “You would’ve been the most beautiful, fun ma ever. You will be, I mean. Right?” he said.

“I suppose. We might try after I finish school,” she said. He still held her hand. He squeezed again.

“Brilliant!” he said excitedly.

“Yeah,” she said, but her eyes didn’t rise from the champagne flute.

“Would you have been okay with sharing with Liv, if Jo was here?” she said.

His eyes grew. The wine was making her almost too frank.

“I would’ve had to, right? Outside of being the best father I could to her, I had no other choice in the matter,” he said. He eyed her. Her cheeks were rosy with wine, and black kohl bled around her lovely blue eyes. She looked … stressed. He felt something in her. Something different. “Right?” he repeated, trying to get her to look at him.

“I’ve always been so sure about what I wanted. At least when it came to women,” she said, letting out a chuckle. “I was the friendly neighborhood lezza since I was 12. I liked that role. It was … rebellious. I felt better than my mam, and all the silly girls going after their lame little pashes at school. Ugh,” she said, shaking her head. “Disgusting, smelly lot, teen boys are. They never did anything for me. Not that I felt the need to try, even for the sake of science.”

He laughed.

“It was the one thing I could count on about myself. That knowledge. Even when I didn’t really know what I wanted to do in my life, I knew I wanted to do pretty girls,” she said.

“I think you said that already,” he said jokingly. “I agree wholeheartedly. About the girls, at least. And maybe a bit about the teenage boys. Smelly creatures.”

“I bet you weren’t smelly,” she said, drinking deep.

“I beg to differ,” he said. “I might not have gotten around much then, but I had a heady stink,” he said. “My ma complained constantly about it.”

“Too topical, mate,” she said, smiling.

“Then what are you trying to say?” He said.

Her belly muscles were trembling. Why was she so goddamned contrary? Who else could she tell but him? She had been thinking about it for weeks when Olivia told her Connie was coming to visit. She thought nothing of it then, and that besides the possible drama, nothing would change. But everything had changed. She heard Connie’s tears before their little talk, and knew intimately how she felt, and why she cried. But she had to cry her tears on her own. How could she confide such a thing to Olivia, and after everything that happened, to big, nerdy, lovely John?

“Do you regret what happened, that night at your divorce do?” she said. “Do you even remember it?”

“Not much. We slammed a bottle of vodka between the two of us.” He sounded casual, but his senses were tingling.

“Didn’t affect you much,” she said. Her cheeks burned.

“What is this talk?” he said, trying to keep it light.

“I honestly don’t know anymore, man,” she said. “But I remember. I was wasted, but I didn’t black out.”

John looked around again, then texted Connie. “They are taking their sweet bloody time in the loo,” he said.

“Maybe Connie’s got diarrhea. You know, the nervous squirts,” she said.

He wrinkled his nose. “I hope not,” he said. “Where were we? You don’t know ... something.”

“I remember that night well,” she said. “How angry I was at Olivia. And how you looked at me. Lecherous twat.”

“My mother raised me right, but I have limits. Your shirt was see-through.”

“It was in style,” she said.

“Uhuh,” he said. “Is this a consent issue? Do you feel okay about what happened?” he said, concerned.

“Naw, man, I ran up those stairs. You didn’t force it for a second,” she said. The tremble had moved to her hands. He hugged himself. She wasn’t usually so circuitous in her speech.

“Right,” he said.

She drank the glass of champagne in two gulps and sighed. “I didn’t hate it, I’ll tell you that.”

“Alright, maybe that’s enough of the good stuff for you,” he said. He reached for the bottle, but she grabbed his wrist.

“John, something’s different. And I don’t know who to tell. Can’t call Alfie. Can’t tell Olivia. In fact, I don’t think it’s even relevant. Or is it? I don’t fucking know,” she ran her fingers through her hair with frustration.

“What’s going on? You were just telling me this morning how well things were getting again. In vivid detail,” he said, raising his brows high. “I don’t like seeing you like this. Talk to me.”

“I’m still in my 20’s. I lost a child, and I’ve got a lovely fiancée and a baby and a nice house in the suburbs. Just three years ago, even the thought of those things was thousands of miles away from my comfort zone, but I’ve adjusted. That’s life, right?”

“I suppose so,” he said. Her hand trembled on his wrist.

“And the hits just keep on comin’,” she said, giving him a plaintive look.

“We’ve done pretty damn good regardless, right?” he said. His face broke into a warm grin as he spied Connie walking up behind her.

“Everything come out okay?” Alex said.

“The bathroom was so nice it felt more like a posh dressing room,” Connie said, sitting beside John with a sigh.

“I guess we had a bit of a chat,” Olivia said, picking up Monty. “Since we haven’t had much time to talk lately.” She gave John a mock grave look.

“I’ve selfishly stolen her away,” he said, pouring her a glass of champagne. He shot Alex a look, but her face had settled back to cheeky loveliness. He couldn’t make out what she was trying to tell him, and he was unused to having to try.

The waiter came with the panna cotta, and Monty squealed with glee.

“You can’t have any,” Olivia said, shaking her head at the baby.

“Come on. Let him have a tiny taste,” Alex said, holding up the silver dessert spoon.

“You also fed him a tiny taste of cream yesterday at the party,” Olivia said.

“And?”

“The diaper changes were a horror. He’s not ready for it yet,” she said.

“I was eating spagbol before I could get a sentence out,” she said, waving her hand. “He can have a bit of pudding.” He waved it in front of the baby’s eager mouth.

Olivia pushed the spoon away. “He’s my son. And I said no.”

Alex dropped the spoon in the glass bowl. “Of course. Your son. How dare I intercede?”

“I think it’s time we headed out. We’ve been here for over two hours, and Monty looks wiped,” John said.

“That’s the best idea you’ve had all night,” Alex said sardonically, and rose.

“You can go on ahead. I’ll pay and be right behind you,” John said. “Thanks for joining us for dinner. I love you all.” He kissed Monty and gave Alex another look. He knew they had to finish the conversation she started.

🌹🌹🌹

He was quiet on the drive back. Connie put her hand on his knee, and he picked it up and kissed it.

“Thanks for dinner,” she said.

“It was my pleasure,” he said. “Did you like the place?”

“It was beautiful,” she said. Although they were still new, she could feel that he was deep in his thoughts. “Alex and Olivia were a bit interesting at the end. Does that happen often?”

“Not as much anymore,” he said.

“Oh.” She sighed and looked out the passenger’s side window. “It’s growing pains. They’ll go away,” she said, but her voice faded to nothing.

“Olivia likes things just so. I guess the same applies to her son,” he said. “It makes sense.”

“Hmm,” she said. “It’s not that cut and dried.”

“She carried him,” he said.

“She did,” Connie said, but she wouldn’t look at him.

“What’s wrong?” he said, and hissed at the frustration in his voice. First it was Alex with her cryptic speech, then Olivia, and now Connie.

“It’s … not easy. To hear that, all the time, when you’re doing the best you can. My son. My daughter. Not stated like the fact it is, but as control.” She looked at him, and sadness made her eyes shine. He caressed her. “After all they’ve been through, I’m surprised Olivia would say it that way.”

“Are you, though?” he said. He wasn’t trying to be rude. Her behavior was just on par with who he knew Olivia to be. A bit high-strung. A bit snappish. But ultimately kind.

“I don’t know,” she said. “She’s a mom now. Of course she changed.”

“But you sound surprised,” he said, rubbing her knee. “Tell me what’s wrong.” He had said that way too many times tonight. He hoped she might actually do it.

“It’s, uh...” she shrugged. “Ella did it to me. Whenever she wanted to really stick the knife in deep. She would use the word my, and not our, despite our shared life. My Poppy. My girl.”

“Poppy was her girl. But you were raising her together, right?”

“Were raising,” she said. “Until she decided we weren’t working out, and took her away. It’s excruciating. And cruel.”

The atmosphere was getting heavier, but he didn’t know how to respond.

“I just can’t believe Olivia said that,” she said. He shrugged.

“How would you feel if Josie was here, and after a while, Alex requested that you give her up for adoption?”

He shook his head. “Impossible. It would be a hard no.”

Connie nodded quietly. “So you think that your feelings would make a difference?”

“They better. She was my daughter. My blood. I wouldn’t sign shit,” he said, squirming with discomfort. “What’s your point?”

Even if her and Olivia got married, Alex would never do something like that, would she? Take his daughter away, make her call him uncle or some such nonsense? He snorted. Nah. She wasn’t like that.

She looked at his changing facial expressions as he thought things through. When they pulled into the driveway, the whole mood had changed to silence. She sighed as he helped her out of the car.

“I think I should go talk to Olivia,” she said.

“Of course. We don’t have to spend every waking moment together,” he said. “It’s been a really intense 24 hours.”

“True,” she said, but she squeezed his hand. “Can I knock on your door after I’m done? Or do you prefer to be alone tonight?”

He squeezed back. “Knock. Please.”

As she jumped the low hedge, a raindrop stung on her shoulder. Two more landed on her cheek and dripped off her chin.

“Looks like rain,” he said, his hands in his pockets.

“Considering how perfect it’s been for the last three days, it’s about time,” she said. She waved, and walked into the house.

🌹🌹🌹

“If he’s so much your boy, keep im’ then!” Alex yelled, and slammed the back door.

She stomped around the garden, trying to get her head together. No matter how hard she tried to explain why what she said hurt her, she would not be moved. Olivia didn’t think she had done anything wrong.

John ran around and hopped the ledge. “I heard that all the way from the kitchen. You okay?” he said. She walked across to his yard and sat on his back steps.

“I don’t know. I really, truly don’t know. It’s like, everything’s happening at the same time and I can’t process it,” she said, hugging her knees. He went inside for a blanket and put it around her shoulders. It was getting chilly.

“Talk to me,” he said. She looked at him, and the heavy, expensive watch hanging off his wrist. He’d worn it especially for his date, since he never wore a watch. Why did that make her heart wrench with tenderness? Her throat burned with it.

She shot up. “That sugar and cham has got me wired as fuck. Let’s take a walk. I need to burn this off,” she said, and started down the driveway.

“Wait! Let me get-” he ran inside for an umbrella, then caught up to her on the sidewalk. She walked resolutely, her arms pumping at her sides. He opened the umbrella over her and tried to keep up.

She turned the corner, headed toward the high street. A giggle bubbled from her lips, then she shook her head.

“What did Olivia say?” he said. He was going at a jog to keep up with her.

“I don’t want to talk about Olivia,” she said. Her blue eyes were burning.

“Okay,” he said. The walked a block in silence. The rain got heavier, and soon cold water dripped off the side not covered by the umbrella. But he kept the umbrella high over her head.

She stopped suddenly. “Why didn’t you tell me first?”

“Tell you what first?” he said. He was beginning to shiver.

“About selling your site. Why’d you tell Connie first?”

“I don’t know. I tried to tell you like 10 times, but it seemed like something else more important would come up. Also, I didn’t want to steal her thunder.”

“Pfft,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Ms. Posh Diplomat has enough thunder for a hundred years.” She started off again. Rainwater turned her short blond hair to dripping spikes on her neck.

“Did she say something to you?” he said. It was hard to keep up with her, and she was getting wetter than him.

Alex thought back on the talk they had last night, before she went to him. On her questions. She had to basically spell out the fact that John was honestly the best bloke on the planet. What kind of horsecockery is that? If she couldn’t see it, she didn’t deserve him. But she was refined and pretty and successful in a way she would never be. Of course it was easy for her to-

“You’re talking, but I can’t hear you, Al,” he said over the roar of the rain. She had been moving her lips.

“Of course it’s easy for a woman like that to get what she wants,” she said. “Ms. fucking perfect,” she hissed. Hot tears cut through the cold on her cheeks.

“No one’s perfect. But I have to admit, I’m pretty close,” he said, trying to get a rise out of her. Surely, she would throw a couple of insults his way, and then maybe she would tell him what was eating away at her. But she just gave him a wounded look and walked faster.

“You’re getting soaked,” he said helplessly, and looked down at himself. He was drenched. With a sigh, he closed the umbrella and slung it over his shoulder. She sat down on a bench under a young oak and looked out on the street. It was getting late, and the lights were disappearing as the shops closed. He sat down beside her and pulled the blanket from her shoulders, wrung it out, then put it back. Black bled down her cheeks, and her narrow lips were clenched with emotion.

“We are going to get so ill,” he said, wincing as fat droplets plinked on his skull from the leaves above. The street in front of them shone molten gold in the lamp light. “And, even worse, anyone who passes will think us completely mad.”

“You could’ve texted me. Called me. Taken me aside,” she said softly. “But I really would’ve liked it if you told me first.”

He rubbed her shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Al. I didn’t think it was such a big deal-”

“Not a big deal?” she said, looking at him incredulously. “You did something huge.”

“Big, yes, but hardly-” he started, but she punched his thigh.

“You moved beyond. You grew the fuck up. I knew you weren’t that self-involved, affected jerkwad,” she said. “I thought we were friends.”

“We are. Best friends,” he said, taking her hand. “Way more than best. You’re one of the best human beings I know, and nearly the mother of my firstborn.”

She took a shivering breath. “Then why didn’t you insist?” she asked.

That’s it. What she had been hinting at all night. His mouth dropped open.

Next Chapter

#That Woman Over There #you me and him #David Tennant #fan fiction #alex/john #John + Connie #Alex + Olivia #fluff turns to high drama #because life isn't a crystal stair

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comicwaren · 10 months

Text

From Loki Vol. 4 #002, “The Liar: Chapter Two”

Art by Germán Peralta and Mike Spicer

Written by Dan Watters

#loki #loki laufeyson #semir thatchbeard #eitin thatchbeard #muck mulligan #the owl #leland owlsley #marvel #comics #marvel comics

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duelingexpress1 · 6 years

Text

Crotoonian Origins VA list

Crotoonian Origins Voice Actor/Actress List

-Acutie : Tillie, Bonnie, Emma, Little Miss Calamity, Melissa, Minerva, and Trix

-Adam Wood : Budgie and Wilson

-Alice Stone : Anna and Ariel

-Andrew Leago : Big Mickey, Bruce(O.C. Delivery Truck), Iago, and Jebediah

-Baby Lamb Creations : James’ Fireman and Spencer

-Cement Works Studios : Bear and Devious Diesel

-Chase Hallett : Scuffy The Tugboat and Shelbert

-Cheeky Engine Productions : Brewster

-Courtney Hallett : Mary

-CraneProductions27 : Billy Shoepack, Frank and Eddie, Izzy Gomez, Lord Stinker, Mighty Mo, and Sunshine

-Dalek ZEG The Tank Engine The Tank Engine : Chatsworth

-Danielthetankengine : Scruff

-Duckfan13 : Rosie

-Dueling Express : Chugs, Guysborough, Kelly, Ned, Nigel, Olson, Otis, Skarloey, and Theodore

-Electro Gamer : Bluenose The Naval Tug, Captain Star(Bigg City Relocation and flashbacks), Dodge and Grounder

-Epiclafiteau : Alfred, Huey, Roley, Rusty The Diesel

-EnterprisingEngine93 : Casey Jr, Arthur, and Streamer

-GeebMachine : Thomas The Tank Engine, Bert The Minimum Gauge Engine, Big Freighter Pete, Big Old Rusty, Captain Zero(Bigg City Relocation and flashbacks), Charlie, Coast Guard(from TUGS), Doctor Robotnik, Donald and Douglas, Fire Tug/Fire Chief(from TUGS), Grampus, Little Ditcher, Puffa, Salty, Ten Cents, Toad, and Victor

-Holden Stafford : Bash and Dash, Benny, Bob The Builder(character), Bulgy, Flying Scotsman, Gridinia Bay Dock Manager, Jack(Pack), Sir Topham Hatt

-Jessie Ortiz : Butch

-JLRosieFan98 : Billy(Halifax Fleet), Deep Sea Tom, Frank, Jeremy, Jones The Steam, and Shane.

-Joel The Swedish Engine : Casey Jones(Johnny’s Driver), Johnny, and Luke The Engine Driver

-Jonathan Asiamah : Harold, James’ Driver, Oliver(Pack), and Paxton

-KingofNewAngila : Dai Station

-Kristy Wu Edwards : Koko

-Lachie V : Farnsworth, Homestar Runner, Lofty, Muck, Percy, Strong Bad, T.Jerry, and Toby

-Leo Jones Productions : Bertram, Duncan, Gordon, Gripper and Grabber, Mighty, Packer, and Yaemon

-Liam Fitzgerald : Foduck The Vigilant, and Gordon’s Driver

-Liz Productions5784 : Annie and Clarabel, Belle(Disney), Emily(Thomas), Georgia, and Rapunzel

-Luca Dollar : Ferdinand, Henry, and Ivor

-Madison Thomas : Ashima, Daisy, Elsa, Gina, and Lady

-Mainland Studios : Bill and Ben, and Cormac

-Melissa Taverner : Calley, Mavis, and Rebecca(Theodore Tugboat)

-Michael Neklen : Kevin and Tootle

-Mike The Red Engine : Bedford Buoy, Cerberus, Coconuts, Digby, Jack Skellington, Horrid Lorries #1, #2, and #3, Oliver The Vast, Scuttlebutt Pete, Tex, and Zebedee

-Nathan Bassett : Hodge, Massey Ferguson, Nelson, and Top Hat

-NLM Films : Bobby Barge, Coast Guard Messenger, George The Valiant, Shelburne The Sea Barge, and Stewiacke

-NostalgiaDude1998 : Hank, Peter Sam, and Rex

-Oliver gwr 1995 Thomas the tank engine : Barrington Barge and Logan

-OptimusPrime2471 : Baddeck

-RetroPokeFan : Cranky, George The Steamroller, Hercules The Star Tug, Sir Allen Featherington, Sir Reginald, Terex The Harbour Crane, and Zorran

-Shine Ortiz : Dizzy, Emily The Vigilant, Mary Anne, and The Blue Skarloey Railway Coaches

-SodorSteamworks : Pelle/Radar

-Steam Powered Cyborg : Harvey and O.J.

-Talon334 : Bayswater Barge, Big Bart(O.C. Ship), Clayton, Dispatcher(Theodore Tugboat), Jason, Northumberland Submarine, Owan The Oil Rig, Phillip and Filmore, Tailor (O.C. Ship) Tower(TLETC 1991) and Truro The Fishing Trawler

-Taylor Z : Lillie Lightship

-TB7Studios : Celgreb Bay Dock Manager, Duck, Henry’s Driver, and Warrior

-The World’s Biggest Thomas Fan : Patrick(Pack), S.C.Ruffy, Stepney, and Zug

-TheGermanOfSodor : Alfie and Wartime

-TheMilanTooner : Bertie, Celgreb Station Announcer, Hyp Duckychev, James, Mr.Grumpy, Old Puffer Pete, Puffle, Scrooge McDuck, and Timothy

-TheRed Coach : Gordon’s Fireman

-Thewisetenderengine2001 : Mike and Sir Handel

-ThomasTenCents34526 : Hanzo, Irving, and Zak

-Truck Man : Henry’s Fireman and Rodrick

-TTTEman2002 : Zip

-Tyler3967 : Flynn The Fire Engine and Terence

-Victor Tanzig : Burke and Blair

-Yilin Zhou : Elizabeth, Henrietta, Marion, Piper and Sasha

-Zephyr4501 : Big Mac, Coach Z, Fearless Freddie, Luke The Narrow Gauge Engine, Mr. Bump, Mr.Quiet, Oliver The Great Western Engine, Russ, and Trevor

-Narrators : Andrew Leago, Dueling Express, Holden Stafford, Jonathan Asiamah, Liam Fitzgerald. Liz Productions5784, NostalgiaDude1998, RichardBlue1963, Shine Oritz, Talon334, Taylor Z, TheMilanTooner, and Yilin Zhou

-Troublesome Trucks/Foolish Freight Cars(for both standard narrow gauge, which includes The Slate Cars/Trucks) : Cheeky Engine Productions, Dueling Express, Gabriel Lopez, Luca Dollar, The World’s Biggest Thomas Fan, TheMilanTooner, and Thewisetenderengine2001(room for a few more voices)

-Conductors/Guards : Truck Man (room for 6 more male conductors and guards and 7 female conductors and guards)

-Delivery Trucks : Thewisetenderengine2001(room for a few more voices)

-Fire Fighters : Holden Stafford(room for a few more voices)

-Passengers : “Men” : Jonathan Asiamah, Liam Fitzgerald, RetroPokeFan and Truck Man. “Women” : Melissa Taverner(room for three more female passengers)

-Police : Shine Ortiz(room for 3 males and 2 females)

-Signalmen : Dueling Express, Holden Stafford and Truck Man(room 5 more signalman voices)

-Workmen : Holden Stafford and RetroPokeFan(room for a few more voices)

-Yard Managers : Dueling Express and RetroPokeFan(room for a few more voices)

On hold for the moment

-Electro Gamer : Johnny Cuba, Mike Mulligan, Sam, and Vinnie

-JLRosieFan98 : Jock

-RetroPokeFan : Clemont(from Pokemon The Series : XY)

-Slick Video Productions : Bowser

-Taylor Z : Tracy, Belle(Thomas), Sigrid, and Tyne

-Thomasformers101 : Max and Monty, and Montana's Driver

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ao3feed-lams · 7 years

Text

Home Is Where The Heart Is

read it on AO3 at http://ift.tt/2qQGL22

by hamlintone

Alexander Hamilton didn't expect to go to college: even if he was smart enough, he never had enough money. So when he's offered a full ride tuition to a New York university, he jumps on the opportunity, and takes a flight to Liberty University.

His plan is to throw himself into his schoolwork and to become a lawyer, but not soon after arriving, he meets a group of people who just might teach him that there's more to life than mucking around doing work.

Within these group of friends, one person might just take his heart.

Words: 2087, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Hamilton - Miranda

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: Alexander Hamilton, John Laurens, Maria Reynolds, Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Angelica Schuyler, Margaret "Peggy" Schuyler, George Washington, George III of the United Kingdom, Samuel Seabury, Sally Hemings, Martha Washington, Theodosia Prevost Burr, Theodosia Burr, Hercules Mulligan, Aaron Burr, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Reynolds

Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Maria Reynolds/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Theodosia Burr Alston/Aaron Burr, Thomas Jefferson/Angelica Schuyler, George Washington/Martha Washington, Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Margaret "Peggy" Schuyler

Additional Tags: Fluff, Fluff and Angst

read it on AO3 at http://ift.tt/2qQGL22

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #Hamilton #lams

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popentertainment-interviews · 7 years

Photo

Ellie Kendrick

Levelling the Field

by Jay S. Jacobs

You always think of the bright, shiny places that young actors go to find stardom. However, acclaimed young British actress Ellie Kendrick is making a buzz by literally descending into the muck.

Though she is only 26, Kendrick has been making a name for herself in British television and film for well over a decade. Her first starring role was in a television version of The Diary of Anne Frank. She also had roles in the rebirth of the classic drama Upstairs Downstairs, was in a series of the popular crime drama Prime Suspect and had a strong supporting role in the acclaimed film An Education with Carey Mulligan.

Not long later, her career seems to be exploding. She has spent that past few years in a high-profile role on one of the most popular TV series in the world, Game of Thrones. Now she is courting critical adoration for her starring role in the downbeat independent drama The Levelling.

The Levelling tells the story of Clover, a young woman who has become estranged from her father and moved to the city to learn to become a veterinarian. She is forced to return to the family farm – six months after it was devastated by massive floods and left a filthy, moldy wreckage – when her younger brother suddenly commits suicide. She tries to come to terms with her stoic and uncommunicative father, the state of the old homestead (their insurance did not cover flooding) and the mystifying loss of a beloved brother. Plus, she must try to become comfortable again in a hometown where she no longer feels she belongs.

Even though it was a small script, which would call for a tiny cast and be filmed on a micro-budget, Kendrick was immediately drawn to The Levelling.

“I was really interested to read a really boiled-down script that basically focuses on such a level of character depth in a film,” Kendrick explained to me on a recent phone call from her native London. “It’s normally more common in theater that you see a small group of characters that are really explored, so I was really interested in that. I thought that the character Clover was such an exciting one, because she was so complex and flawed.”

These flaws and dichotomies made the role catnip for the adventurous young actress.

“She didn’t know herself… She was making so many mistakes that you could see,” Kendrick continued. “The fact that it’s a bit of a role that’s going to require a huge amount of emotional complexity and intensity; that stuff is really exciting to explore as an actor. I was very excited to read it. I was just thrilled that I ended up being given the part, because it was something that I knew as soon as I read it that I really wanted to do.”

As she pointed out, the hardest stories to tell are the ones with limited characters and limited settings. While there were several bit parts in The Levelling, essentially the film has two major characters that Kendrick interacts with the most. There were also long stretches when it was just the actress alone. This was her first starring role in a movie, and for huge portions of the screen time she would be carrying the load completely.

“It was a challenge, certainly,” Kendrick agreed. “It’s much harder to do that stuff in some ways than if you’re part of a huge production with lots of characters and special effects, computer graphics and all that stuff. It’s a whole new set of challenges that you have to undertake, when there’s only three of you really in the cast, and you’re on your own most of the time.”

However, she felt confident through reading the script and dealing with the writer/director that it would all work out.

“The character is so well written and the film was really carefully paced. I was able to work with Hope Dickson Leach, the director, quite closely to make sure that it didn’t feel too daunting, it didn’t feel too terrifying. We made sure at all times that I was completely aware of where Clover was in her head, even when I’m doing things without speech. I’m completely aware of what’s going on in her head and where she’s at emotionally in that moment.”

Dickson Leach, a former debutante who had previously worked on several short films and television shows, chose a world very different from her own lifestyle for her directorial debut. However, she had a surprisingly intense vision of this world, devastated by flood, poverty, filth and depression. The writer/director gave Kendrick a good amount of leeway with the role of Clover, though the actress acknowledges that leeway was not always necessary.

“The story remains very much Hope’s words, Hope’s idea, but she was fantastic at involving all of us really in the creative process,” Kendrick said. “We had limited rehearsal time because it was a micro-budget feature, yet she always made sure that we felt involved. There would be times where I would say, ‘I don’t think she would do this or say this.’ Sometimes we’d find another way of doing or saying that particular action or that line. Sometimes she’d say, ‘No, just stick with me on this’ and then we’d find out who was right. But she was a really collaborative director.”

Kendrick was pleasantly surprised by the sense of surety that Dickson Leach brought to the production, particularly as someone who had never made a full-length film before.

“I was really surprised it was her first feature, because she has such a level of tradition and calm control, even in the face of a very stressful film,” Kendrick explained. “On a fully-working farm, on a micro-budget for a four-week shoot she remained completely in control and conducted herself with real poise and warmth.”

The Levelling opens on a central mystery which can never be 100% explained. Kendrick’s character of Clover has a younger brother named Harry (Joe Blakemore) who has just killed himself – or if their father Aubrey (David Troughton) is to be believed the death may have been accidental. The rest of the town, police included, do not buy this theory. The suicide occurred after a long night of partying, after he has been given complete control of the family farm.

The film shows many of the reasons that probably led to Harry’s death. However, there is no way that anyone can ever know why he was so downhearted that death would seem to be the only viable option.

As an actress, Kendrick tried to come up with a backstory, but even for her it is an enigma.

“I think it is very important as an actor to try fully, if you can, to justify everything that happens in the script with a kind of mental process to go along with it,” Kendrick says. “You’re not just saying the words, you know why the character is saying the words. Why she’s doing X or Y. There’s a reason behind all of it. One of the most important things for me when I’m starting to approach a role, especially a film role, is I would create loads of backstories, often linked to memories that I’ll create. I was doing all of that with the Harry character.”

However, like Clover, Kendrick may never know exactly what it was that set Harry off. And perhaps that is the way it should be. It certainly is the way of the world.

“I invented all sorts of stories which helped me to get a latch on him and play the role of Clover. However, I think one of the things I really loved about the film is that it does not seek to completely explain Harry’s death. I think that’s really important. Something that really struck me was how freshly Hope was seeing this story, because that’s the nature of grief. You can never really get to the bottom of it, to the answer. You can never get to a black and white version of events, because that’s not how life works.

“I really liked that even until the end there’s still a bit of ambiguity because that’s part of what Clover has to learn on her journey: things can't always be solved like an equation. Certainly, emotions can’t be boiled down to simple yes or no answers. She has to learn to confront her emotions as complex and unpredictable things that need to be shared, as opposed to solved.”

Kendrick thinks it’s not completely solved, what happened to Harry, but of course you can see the instigating factors of whatever happened.

“Clearly, he was depressed and he was alone on the farm,” Kendrick said. “I don’t know what it’s like in the US, but in the UK there is a lot of depression in rural farming communities, especially with young men. That’s something which isn’t really talked about here very much at all. It’s often covered up. It was interesting choosing to highlight that silencing of male depression that happens in rural communities. That was certainly huge instigating factor.”

Part of it was hereditary, as well. Aubrey, the father, is bad about talking about his feelings and making space for his children to do so. Clover has become estranged from the father and moved away from the family farm, which has the inadvertent effect of cutting her off from Harry as well. The mother is gone, but her memory lies heavily on the farm, particularly in the months that the dairy farm and the whole area was devastated by flooding and storms.

“All of those things I think create a heavy cocktail that puts Harry’s life in danger,” Kendrick said. “Try as she might, Clover can’t work out exactly which thing it was, which caused it. She’d like to blame Aubrey. She’s terrified of blaming herself. Really, the answer is not important. She has to learn that in the future she has to stop blaming and start talking.”

Ironically, even though Clover and Aubrey were very much estranged, in many ways they were very similar. As an actress, Kendrick enjoyed establishing that relationship with actor David Troughton playing her dad.

“David Troughton is a really well-respected theater actor in the UK,” Kendrick explained. “He’s worked a lot with the Royal Shakespeare Company and is on a radio show called The Archers, which is really popular here. He’s a very experienced actor, who was a lot of fun to work with. He’s a very nice guy, but he also dedicates himself to the work and making sure that he does it exactly right.”

Even though Clover fools herself that she and Aubrey have nothing in common, it is obvious how close their familial bond is on the screen.

“There were a lot of similarities,” Kendrick said. “Most of them were pre-written into the script. A temperamental thing. A way that they have both come from a culture of silencing emotions, of denial and of seeking to blame other people, then running away from the truth. All of those dangerous things that can be seen sometimes as quintessentially British qualities which we’ve all got to try and get over.”

While much of this was drawn out in the script, Kendrick and Troughton picked up on little ticks in each other to make the point even more explicit. They added little subtle actions and attitudes that made the ancestry obvious in clever and nuanced ways.

“Some of my favorite scenes that Hope wrote – without dialogue or with very little dialogue – are the milking scenes we did together,” Kendrick explained. “We were wearing overalls which were the real-life milking overalls of the father and the son farming team who worked and owned the farm that were filming on…. Gradually over the course of the film and through these milking scenes, through these moments when they’re not talking, but are physically working together, they start to become closer.”

There were even moments where the actors tried to adapt the same physicality.

“There’s one moment where we’re both leaning up against the milking parlor wall wearing the same outfit and looking out,” Kendrick continued. “The characters can’t see how similar they are, but visually the audience is able to see that. In terms of language, it was already there in the script, but visually Hope worked towards creating little vignettes like that which make it a bit clearer. It’s just natural, isn’t it? When you’re playing father and daughter, you end up trying to figure out each other’s rhythms and work together in that way.”

Of course, the hard and dirty work of a dairy farm is also illustrated in more stark terms. One of the most disturbing moments in the film is when Aubrey tells Clover – a budding veterinarian and animal lover – that she had to kill a baby calf. (This was done off camera, thank goodness.) The audience hopes that she would refuse, though the scene points out that this kind of thing is all part of running a farm.

“It’s important that that moment is in there because what Hope is very good at doing is investigating the ambiguity of situations,” Kendrick said. “On the one side, farmers are the stewards of life. Genuinely, they care for and know the animals they look after. Certainly, the farms that we looked at did. On the other hand, if a male calf is born a dairy farm, then that calf won’t be useful to the farmer and so he will be killed. It’s important that there wasn’t a rose-tinted view of what farming life is about in the film.”

However, does Kendrick think she could do it if you were in her position?

“It was really necessary for Clover there to have that moment,” Kendrick continued. “She’s grappling between the identity of herself as a farmer who has grown up on her family’s farm, and the identity of herself as this vegetarian veterinarian semi-activist. We see those two identities clash in that moment where she must kill the calf. I don’t think it’s something I could do. No. I’m a vegetarian myself and I don't think I’d be able to do it. But it says a lot about the state that Clover’s in emotionally that she is able to push herself to that extent.”

This is particularly true since the death of the little calf also had greater symbolic gravity in Clover’s life.

“The physical brutality in that moment is important because that calf, as many of the other nature elements in the film do, represents in part Harry and in part the part of herself that she's trying to kill off to be stronger. The weakness in herself or how she sees the side that’s desperately sad and grieving and that needs to find words, but can’t. So, I agree, that moment for me feels like it’s certainly a quite disturbing moment, but I think it’s one that's really important.”

She laughed and reiterated, “But I wouldn’t be able to do it myself.”

Kendrick, who lives in London, had some experience with the farm lifestyle growing up, so it was not completely foreign to her when she and the cast and crew arrived in Somerset to work on the real farms that made up the sets of The Levelling. However, she acknowledges that while she had grown up on the countryside for part of her life, and she was aware of what goes on in farms, she probably was a little guilty of idealizing the lifestyle.

“For pretty much anyone who doesn’t live on a farm or know how it works, you think of a nice place with lots of cows and sheep and everyone’s getting along well,” Kendrick admitted. “Of course, farms are working places. They’re not about stroking the nice animals. Dairy farms are about milking twice a day without fail, every day of the year. Even on Christmas day. They’re about getting up in whatever the weather – the rain, the snow, the sleet – and making it work. They’re about, as we said, killing the young males if it’s on a dairy farm and they can’t be of use.

“On the farm that we worked on, they were also about working with animals,” she continued. “About caring for them and at times even nurturing them. They’re interesting spaces. They’re much more complex than the outside eye might allow, or might see. It was fascinating to be on a working farm as we were doing it. We even learned to milk the cows. That was really important for the physicality of the roles; that we got it right and made it look like we’d been doing it a while.”

Of course, another reality of farming, particularly in this story, was that everything was so dirty and muddy. Kendrick spent a lot of time in streams, in muddy holes and out in the rain, basically just getting filthy. This also took some getting used to. As a visiting actress, was she craving having a nice long shower and some clean, dry clothes?

“All of us, all the cast and crew, had that feeling for the first couple of days when we worked,” Kendrick laughed. “Most of what you see on the farm – I’m afraid to tell you – it isn’t mud. It’s cow excrement. We all ended up getting covered in that at one or another point of the shoot. At first, before you abandon your city ways, you think: ‘God, this is awful. I want to get myself clean. Get home to scrub myself and have a shower.’ Then quickly you adjust to it.”

She soon realized that if she spent all her time worried about the dirt, she would never get anything done there. It eventually just became another building block for the character in her mind.

“I really relished the chance to literally get down and dirty with this role. To roll up my sleeves and properly get down to digging and plunging into that dirty river and mucking around on the farm. It’s not something you get to do very often. Especially women on a film set, normally you're in clean sanitized studios with green screens. This was a slice of real life and one that I relished. I loved being in that environment. It was very lucky for us that we were able to shoot it on an actual working farm, because it meant that what you see is real. We were milking those cows for real.”

In recent years more and more farmers, and people in general, are losing everything to the storms and floods like the one that was dramatized in this film. Which suggests a basic question. What are Kendrick’s feelings about climate change? What, if anything, can we do about it?

“I think that the climate change issue is a massive one, and one that will be very difficult to go into in great depths in a 20-minute interview,” Kendrick laughed. “Of course, it’s hugely affecting the way not only that farms are run, but the way that the world is running and the way that our population will be affected in the next coming decades. I find it really scary. Like the film, there’s no easy answer to it. We all try and do what we can, but it’s terrifying to see the rate of this climb to which things are going, and how strongly that is affecting rural communities and farming communities.”

Furthermore, the storms which form the backstory of The Levelling and the destruction the audience sees in the area were very real, she explained.

“I don't know if you’re aware, but the flooding of the levels which provides the heart of the film in that area of Somerset, it really happened,” Kendrick said. “That area is still years on recovering from the devastation of that event. Most of the policy decisions are made in big cities like London, where I live. In big cities, we all feel very far away from these rural communities. That’s dangerous, because that’s when they start to be forgotten. Climate change and bad policy making can not only affect industry and destroy community, but take lives as well.”

Though she has had sizable roles in several other films, including the acclaimed Oscar-nominated film An Education, Kendrick has mostly made a name in British television. Beyond the obvious buzz-worthy role on Game of Thrones, she has also starred in such series as the reboot of Upstairs Downstairs, Prime Suspect and The Diary of Anne Frank. The Levelling is her first feature film lead. How is working on the film different than some of the previous work that she had done on television?

“It was a real challenge because I was in every scene on the film,” Kendrick acknowledged. “I had to be incredibly disciplined and work very hard, do a lot of preparation and just solely concentrate on that project for those four weeks. I was pretty much living in the head of that character for that time, which is not something that I normally do, especially not in television. I suppose it was the closest thing I’d ever done to method acting, which isn’t something I necessarily believe in, but I had to think in Clover’s head for so many hours of the day that she started to overlap my own thoughts.”

Kendrick admitted was quite scary at first, particularly because she was living far away from home. She said it was strange: sometimes when she plays a character that goes through intense experiences and emotions, when she is doing it every minute of the day and not seeing any of her friends and family, it can start to take over.

“I suppose that happened in a way in this film,” she said. “But, it wasn’t entirely unpleasurable. It was exciting to be taken over by this brilliant role that Hope had written. I had to be more disciplined. It affected me much more emotionally than most of the roles I’ve done. Normally – especially in TV – you’re hopping in and out. You’ll do one day on one week, then two days on another, then you’ll do four weeks solid of filming, and then you’ll have the weekend off. It’s much more piecemeal. That level of exposure to this role meant that I could really properly drill down into it and spend time with it in a pure and intense way.”

The film also shows how it is weird and difficult to return home after you've moved on. Undoubtedly, Kendrick’s family life is a lot less dramatic than Clover’s, but how does it feel being out there working on TV and films then to go back and see the people and places she’d known growing up?

“Part of performing as another character is always trying on another life, trying on another brain almost,” Kendrick said. “It’s very strange to go through that experience and then go home to friends and family who have known you all your life. The only thing I could compare it to is the experience of if you've gone on a holiday on your own. You come back to your home airport a couple of weeks later and suddenly all your habits, things that you used to take for granted, for maybe a day they all seem strange and bizarre. That’s a little bit of what it’s like when you come out of a role that you've been playing for a long time, or for an intense period. Suddenly when you return to your own personality, you can be a little bewildered by what’s going on. But there’s not really space for that because you're on to the next project.”

But then again, isn’t the next passage its own form of a trip?

“It's a very strange mess that you start to take on. On one side, you become intensely attached to a role. You get into their head. Into every personal thought. Their way of speaking, talking, walking and their tiniest movements, which portrays what kind of a character they are. You have that attachment at one hand. Then the other you must be able to be completely detached from them at a moment’s notice. At the drop of a hat. For example, on The Levelling, I had a day and half in between finishing filming that and playing another character on something else. It’s a weird dichotomy that you must cultivate as an actor, but one strangely I find myself enjoying. I don’t know what that says about me, but I am grateful to have a chance to do it.”

Speaking of being grateful for chances, Kendrick currently has a rather important role on one of the most beloved shows currently on television, HBO’s medieval hit Game of Thrones, based on the novels of George RR Martin. Kendrick has played Meera Reed over the last few seasons of the series. What is it like to be part of such an international cultural phenomenon?

“It’s wonderful to be part of Game of Thrones because of the way that they are able to tell the stories they do on such a huge scale,” Kendrick said. “To reach such high audience numbers and with such huge production values. It’s brilliant to be part of that. It’s like nothing I’ve ever been involved in before. It’s a very different commitment to the one I made in The Levelling. It’s more piecemeal. You hop in and out more. It’s a whirlwind. You’ll never meet even a quarter of the people who are involved in making the production.”

Elements about that huge scale television making are exciting, and provide a real contrast to projects like The Levelling. On the film, there was a very small crew. Kendrick knew everyone’s name by the second day. She was having them over for dinner in the bungalow she was living at in Somerset. They all formed a very, very tightly knit team.

“Of course, [Game of Thrones] is different in terms of its scale, cast numbers and all of that stuff. It’s a challenge that I really relish when I’m asked to hop between those different kinds of environments. It’s great to be given the chance to try different ways of working. Both are brilliant, but in different ways.”

When we tried for a preview of what will be coming for her character in the upcoming seventh season, she good-naturedly demurred from giving even vague, non-spoiler-ish details on her character’s connection to Jon Snow (Kit Harington) and their respective parents.

“Very nice try,” Kendrick laughed. “I am not able to tell you anything. I feel like you all probably know as much as I do, because we’re only given our own part, our own scripts to read, the parts that our character features in. So, who knows? It could be doing that, but I wouldn’t even have a clue, because I wouldn’t have seen the element of the scripts which are dealing with that. It’s all a mystery to me.”

Speaking of iconic roles, one of the earliest roles that Kendrick played was Anne Frank in a miniseries of the legendary World War II book The Diary of Anne Frank. It’s such a classic important story, was that tough for her to take on as a young actress?

“That was really scary approaching that,” Kendrick admitted. “I was really daunted when I was given the role. It was a strange one. It was my first big role, so on one hand I couldn’t have expected to be given this opportunity. On the other hand, I was absolutely petrified, because as soon as I got it I thought: how am I going to do this? This is terrifying because not only was I entering a professional world which I had only dabbled with before then, but I was appearing in a TV show in which I was in every single scene apart from two across the whole series. With an amazing cast. Approaching a really iconic historical figure, who was so important to do justice to.”

This opportunity taught Kendrick something very elemental about herself as an actress. She liked challenge. The fact that it scared her made it more important to her.

“It was terrifying, but then I began to find a real sense of relish in terror from that moment,” Kendrick said. “The way that I choose my roles, it's almost like thrill-seeking for me sometimes. I found it so scary that the achievement of just having got through it was exhilarating. Then I realized that I probably do my best performances when I’m at my most afraid. Now, the roles that I choose, I gauge them by how much they scare me. If they scare me, I say this is something I’ve got to do.

“That was exactly how I felt with The Levelling,” she said. “It terrified me. I thought here is a real story that I’ve got to do justice to. I don't know how I'm going to do it, dealing with huge issues I could mess it up at any moment. I can’t predict how this is going to go, but I know it’s something I want to be involved in. It’s exactly that same feeling. The first time I had that was when I approached the Anne Frank role. I realized that it was probably good pattern to continue, at least for now, in choosing my next role. It was a formative experience for me.”

It has even formed her search for dream roles. More to the point, when asked if there was one fantasy role that she’d love more than anything to play, Kendrick said there really wasn’t a specific one.

“That’s a really good question and one that I get asked a lot,” she said. “The answer isn’t a simple one for me, because for me it’s always about how it’s been written. It’s not just the idea of what a character is. It’s how the script is created, how the words come out and how it all meshes into a complete drama. I suppose I couldn’t give you a simple answer of saying there’s one character that I’ve always wanted to play. It’s more that, just as many actors, the thing that I love most is something that is well written. For me roles like Clover which are very complex, difficult, sometimes even unlikeable. Also, of course, not completely reduced to their femininity or who they’re attracted to or who’s attracted to them. All of those things I look for and am excited by.”

Then one dream role did occur to her. She allowed that there was one character that she really wanted to play, and that she had been fortunate enough that she had already had the opportunity to perform the part.

“When I was 11 years old, I played the Artful Dodger in the musical Oliver! at my school,” she laughed. “I would say that was a role I always wanted to play. I saw the musical when I was about five years old and I wanted to do it. When I was 11, I did! So, lucky me, I achieved that goal early.”

So now, as Kendrick leaves Clover behind, we must wonder where she believes her character will end up. The film leaves it where it looks like she’s going to be home for a while, but had Kendrick considered when she was planning her out where she’d be in the future? Like maybe 10, 20 years from now, is she still going to be on the farm, is she going to be a veterinarian or is going to go in a totally different direction?

“That’s an interesting question,” Kendrick said, thoughtfully. “I suppose that the film leaves off where it does for a reason. You as the audience have to decide. You’re allowed to make that decision as to where you think she’s going to be. For me personally, I feel like she’s not going to give up being a vet, but I think that the most important thing is that she’s for now staying on the farm. She’s making herself vulnerable to her father. She’s opening up to him. For the first time, they are forging a connection that they both so badly need to make.

“Whatever happens, she started talking to her father and they’re letting each other in,” Kendrick concludes. “I suppose the ending of the film is the beginning of the rest of their lives together. Whatever happens next, Clover and Aubrey are beginning to re-forge the father and daughter relationship that they need to. I guess for me personally I feel like she stays on the farm for a while, but she wouldn’t give up being a vet, maybe she even tries to combine the two. But who knows?”

#Ellie Kendrick #2017 #Actress interviews #The Levelling #Game of Thrones #Jay S. Jacobs

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ao3feed-hamilton · 7 years

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by hamlintone

Within these group of friends, one person might just take his heart.

Words: 2089, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Hamilton - Miranda

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Additional Tags: Fluff, Fluff and Angst

from AO3 works tagged 'Hamilton - Miranda' http://ift.tt/2qQGL22

#IFTTT #ao3feed #Hamilton #fanfic

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icanneverbesatisfied · 7 years

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Forget What We've Been Told-- Part Three

Collaboration with: @fullytenaciousstranger who couldn't post today, but is fully okay with me posting!

Warnings: angst + obnoxious man

Tags: @prettyoddemily

@secretschuylersister

Nervously, I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. Behind me, Peggy was intricately braiding my hair into an elegant bun, a few pins sticking out from her pursed mouth.

“Eliza, I know you don't want to do this anymore than Peggy or I, but it's just one party, and you can fake a sickness halfway through if need be.” Angelica spoke from far behind me, sitting on her bed. “It'll be over before you know it.” She stood, and I gaped at her appearance.

“Angelica, you look beautiful.” She looked like a goddess, her dress the color of a primrose in springtime. Angelica’s dark skin practically glowed, and I knew her every move in the ballroom would be purposeful and graceful. A small silver ornament was nestled in her hair, reminiscent of an angel’s halo. I pushed down the jealousy rising in my chest.

“As do you.” Angelica responded, buckling her glossy shoes on.

“Really?” I said faintly, staring at myself in the mirror. I took in in my appearance. My dark hair had been twisted into an elegant updo, and rouge liberally applied to my cheeks by Peggy. A dark red lipstick stained my lips and I tugged at the low neckline of my emerald green dress, trying another smile in the mirror. It seemed as fake as it felt.

“Girls, are you ready?” My father appeared in my peripheral vision, and I turned to him. After rejecting Alexander, he had acted as if our relationship was fine, when in reality it been been ripped to shreds. I stiffened and stared down at my chestnut-colored, heeled shoes.

“Yes, we’re ready.” Angelica regarded our father coldly and snatched up Peggy’s gloved hand, brushing past him. My father frowned at her slightly, but turned to me.

“Believe me when I say this is going to be a very important party for you, Eliza.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. He simply nodded knowingly and squeezed my shoulder, ignoring my uncomfortable facial expression. I didn’t get a chance to push past him before he hooked his arm through mine, leading me down the hallway, and then the grand staircase. Below me the ballroom gushed with energy and people, and the chandelier hanging in the center of the room sparkled.

I watched as Angelica and Peggy hurried off and out of my sight, and I turned to my father. “Thank you, father, but I can take it from here.”

I shook his head. “No, Eliza. There's someone I want you to meet.” He pulled me away from the foot of the ornate staircase, and to a small group of people dressed in obnoxiously coloured clothes.

My father tapped one of the men on the shoulder, and he turned towards us. “Oh, how dare you- ah, Mr. Schuyler! What a wonderful party!” The man exclaimed, greeting my father warmly.

“Thank you; there's someone I want you to meet.” He swept his arm out towards me, and the man's gaze raked greedily down my frame.

“Elizabeth Schuyler, it's lovely to meet you.” I said, and sighed quietly, shifting around uncomfortably and crossing my arms in front of me. I didn't even know this man, but he was already beginning to irritate me.

“Thomas Johnson.” He drawled in a bored tone. In my father's mind, Thomas was obviously a prestigious individual. He had light blond hair that had been secured into a slick ponytail at the nape of his neck, and unattractive green eyes the colour of river muck. His face held all the signs of a person raised to believe they were much better than the people around him, and that they existed only for his pleasures and whims.

“Now, if you'll excuse me, I’d like to talk with my sisters-” I started to announce, but my father cut me off.

“That is not necessary, Eliza. You should spend some time with Thomas, get to know him a little better.” He said, pushing me towards Thomas. “Go, take a walk.” My father suggested, already turning away to chat with the rest of the group.

“I'm sorry, but I would be much more comfortable with Angelica and Peggy. I should hope you understand.” I started to turn away, but Thomas grabbed at my wrist.

"Absolutely not.” He froze, then continued in a more light-hearted tone. “Your father has said what you should be doing, and as his daughter you should be listening to him.” Thomas said, tightening his grip on my wrist. “So, let's take a walk.” He lead me out of the spacious ballroom, and into the gardens. I had to admit that I was grateful to be out of the crowded room, the noise fading behind me.

“Could you let go of my wrist? You're starting to hurt it.” He reluctantly dropped my wrist, and I let it fall to my side, tangling my fingers in the soft, green material of my dress.

“How long have you known my father?”

“Since I was fifteen.” He offered no other information, and I nodded my head.

“Well, um, how did you meet him?” I asked, biting my lip. My earlier thoughts of dislike were only becoming further reaffirmed.

“My parents were part of a project with him.” He stopped suddenly. “For a woman, you ask quite a lot of questions.”

I stopped dead in my tracks, and looked him in the eye. “Excuse me?” I breathed out, scarcely able to imagine that my father had thought I could get along with this man.

“Didn't your father ever teach you that women are supposed to be seen and not heard?” Thomas questioned.

“No, because my father is somewhat sensible.” I blurted, my hands curling into fists.

“How dare you speak to me-”

“Excuse me, but what the hell, man?” I whirled around, and caught sight of Peggy and Hercules. A few years back Hercules Mulligan had become a fast family friend after Peggy and I met him through Alexander. Peggy and him had retained a special friendship throughout the years, and I considered him a friend as well. Thank goodness he was here. Breathing out a sigh of relief, I hurried towards my youngest sister. She pulled me into a hug, and patted my back lightly.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned, releasing Peggy. “Are you okay?” Hercules asked me, and I nodded.

“Thank you, Hercules.” I said, and he smiled at me. He turned back towards Thomas.

“Now you and me are gonna have a little talk…” I heard him say as Peggy lead me back inside. She pulled me into the area behind the staircase that was always deserted at our father’s parties, and took my hands in her own.

“Are you really okay?” She asked me, her eyes sparkling with worry for me.

“Yes, I'm fine.” I repeated and smiled reassuringly.

“If you say so.” She breathed out a sigh of relief. “Are you ready to rejoin the party?”

“For a little while, I-”

“Eliza? Eliza, there you are!” My father said, turning into the hiding spot. “Come with me, I have an announcement to make.” He hooked his right arm through my left, and his left arm through Peggy's right. He shooed Peggy away as soon as we reached the crowd, and she turned back towards us in panic.

My father pulled me up a few of the steps, before clearing his throat loudly. “I would like to make an announcement!” He exclaimed, and the party started to gradually fade into an impatient silence.

“I am all too happy to announce my daughter, Eliza's, engagement to Thomas Johnson.” He said, and I had to fight the urge to scream aloud.

“What?” I whispered, biting my lip, begging myself to look happy. Why hadn’t he told me his plans? "Oh my God,” I spoke, my words almost inaudible. Please don't let my face betray my heart.

The crowd started to clap, and I spotted Angelica in the very center of it. She was clearly fuming, and under other circumstances I would have laughed at the face she was making. Dark spots peppered my vision and I felt my heartbeat increase.

My father raised a glass. “To your future union, Eliza. May you always be happy and satisfied!” I fought for a smile, and nodded, agony blossoming throughout my body.

“Thank you.” I said, trying my hardest to look only at Angelica. The crowd began to dissolve, resuming their activities. “Now if you'll excuse me, I’m- I’m off to go find Thomas.” I blurted out, and hurried down the stairs and out the door, in dire need of the fresh night air.

-Angelica’s Perspective-

“Father!” I shouted, rushing back down the stairs. I had taken Eliza to her room after the last guest had left the party. She was a mess, sobbing so hard she was gasping for air, muttering about how she could never be happy now.

“Angelica! Did you enjoy the party?” He laughed heartily. “I bet you'll be excited to finally have a brother in the family!” He came towards me for a hug, and I stepped back.

“No. I did not enjoy the party.” I stated, pushing my shoulders back and raising my head confidently, trying to make myself look as tall as I could.

“Well, why ever not?” He asked, his smile drooping.

“Because you've ruined her! You've ruined Eliza!” I shouted. “How can you not see it?”

“I'm making a sacrifice because I know what's best-”

"Sacrifice?!” I practically screamed, the word echoing around the large room with an eerie resolve.

“Yes. It's a sacrifice I'm making because I love her, and I know what's best for her.” He said, setting down the wine glass he was holding. “You should be content and happy with my decision.”

I let out a shocked breath. “I love my sister more than anything in this life, I would choose her happiness over mine every time!” I yelled, taking a step towards him. “Eliza is the best thing in our lives! Never lose sight of the fact that you have been blessed with the best child!” I took another step towards him, and he took a step back. “Congratulations!” I shouted, and pushed him lightly, already preparing to turn around.

“Angelica!” He roared after me, and I stopped moving.

"What?” I spat.

“I'm not sorry.” He said, not a tinge of regret in his tone.

I turned towards him, looking him full in the face. “I know my sister like I know my own mind, you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind. I know she'll never love him, but she'll just say ‘I’m fine.’” I said, letting my anger fuel me. “She'll be lying.” I breathed out, and turned on my heel, running up the stairs.

#collaboration #hamilton #hamilton fic #angst #Thomas Johnson #Alexander Hamilton #Eliza schuyler #Peggy schuyler #Angelica schuyler #philip schuyler #Hercules mulligan #impending doom #fullytenaciousstranger #prettyoddemily #secretschuylersister

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