Triage: Initial Thoughts
Hello! Venus back at it again with the 4-5 AM theory time! This time we’re looking at Shidou’s second MV, Triage!
I’m going to be going through my various thoughts on everything as usual, going point by point to analyze each thing. I’ll be referencing Triage, his first MV Throwdown, and the always-fast audio drama translation by @onigiriico!
Alright, let’s do this!
Shidou’s kids died immediately, but his wife had a chance to live.
I’m basically just going to give a quick play by play of what I think happened in the video.
Surprise, Shidou has kids! And a wife, but we figured that already. They’re all very cute and all until they fade out like ghosts pretty early on. Before that happens, though, I think that, chronologically, the opening sequence of Shidou walking with some groceries happens first.
He’s just going about his day, walking around, having a great time. He’s intending to take stuff back to his family and cook dinner or whatever he usually does that we see in the cute scenes.
Then, though, he gets a phone call. He answers it (this is the untranslated “Kirisaki desu” part; please let us know if you find a full translation of what he says on the call there!) and we move on to the next scene. However, later, at 1:57, we hear the line die. I think that this is probably Shidou getting a phone call from the hospital. He sounds casual in his initial response because he probably assumes it’s work related, but once he hears what happened, he drops the line and immediately heads over.
I think Shidou’s kids must have died immediately because of Throwdown. Throwdown has absolutely no references to his kids (though he does mention liking children and stuff like that in his first audio drama, which now kinda stings) and, were he also trying to save them, I’m sure there would’ve been at least some references.
I think it’s far more likely that, whatever happened, both his kids died immediately, but his wife was in a condition where he could still try to save her. That’s when Throwdown occurs. Shidou probably focused intensely on trying to save his wife as a way to cope with the death of his children. Then, after his wife officially died, it really hit him that he had nothing left, and he was forced to process it. That’s when he started feeling all the guilt and wishing for death.
This isn’t really relevant, but my best bet is a car crash. It seems like a likely and viable way that his kids could’ve died instantly while the wife could’ve kept living. As a minor note on that, he’s also walking back with groceries, which could indicate that someone else (the rest of his family) might’ve had a car. I don’t remember if Shidou mentions anything about driving or anything like that at any time, but if I had to call a method of death right now, that’s what I’d go for.
NOTE: I do want to disclaim this by saying it’s also possible that one of his kids was the flower person in Throwdown. He gives a receipt to one of his kids, so that could make some sense. I need to go back and compare the flower person in Throwdown with the people in Shidou’s family now that they have appearances. I also need to reread his first audio drama; he says something about it being fitting that Es is judging him, which could check out if his crime relates to trying to save his kid instead. If I am wrong and it was one of his kids that he was trying to save, then everything about what I’m saying still checks out; just swap everything I say about his wife with one of the kids.
Shidou purposefully showed us the least forgivable parts of his crime in Throwdown.
Looking back on it, Shidou painted himself in an awful light in Throwdown, and I’m sure it was intentional. After all, he was trying to get us to give him a guilty verdict. If you say that a prisoner like Muu might have been altering what part of her story we received in order to get her desired verdict in the first round (innocent), Shidou could absolutely do the same thing with a guilty verdict.
He doesn’t show us any of the context of his loved ones and how much he loved them; that was all stuff we had to read between the lines of. We see him butchering plant after plant only to end in horrific failure without ever seeing him succeed at anything surgical. (He still should’ve hypothetically been saving lives while doing all of this; it’s not like he was ONLY killing people.)
He even shows us the horrified reactions of the loved ones of patients he killed. I can only imagine that he would do that if he was trying to spark a negative reaction in us.
In contrast, this MV is very straightforwardly showing how the day he lost his family went for Shidou and directly examines what verdict Shidou wants (more on this later). I think, therefore, that this is probably a much more honest view of the situation than Throwdown, at least in terms of how Shidou perceives the truth.
Shidou is constantly plagued by the guilt of what happened.
The simplest way to explain this is with this image:
When showing Shidou’s family turning to ghosts, he views the man that he used to be as dying with them. Shidou, as he was, is dead. Still, what happened clearly still impacts him. That’s pretty obvious, but I’m talking down to the details. He mentions kids and liking them in both of his audio dramas. Further, take this lovely image:
Pancakes. Shidou made pancakes for his kids. In BOTH Minigrams 3 (Pancake) and 24 (Pancake: a Second Trial) Shidou is directly shown talking about pancakes and their relation to children. He really wants Amane, the young child, to try some. It seems like he used to make pancakes for his kids before they died. He’s very clearly not recovered in any sense. That’s not surprising, but it’s still something to point out.
Triage takes place almost entirely before and after Throwdown.
That sounds a little confusing, but all I mean is that Throwdown is completely isolated from this MV. Some parts of this MV happen before the events of Throwdown; those are the ones featuring Shidou’s wife and kids, as well as the ones where he simply looks younger. The other parts are clearly looking back at the same time frame, but are from Shidou’s present perspective, here in Milgram. Those are the ones where he reflects on his verdict or directly addresses what verdict he wants.
Most directly, I think the part at 2:14 indicates this. Shidou, looking back on the death he caused (knives in the pomegranates and other food, dead flowers, receipts from the surgeries that we also saw in Throwdown), says “I want to be INNOCENT / I want to live.” That’s him, in the Milgram prison, right now, coming to terms with the fact that he actually, genuinely wants to live right now.
In the audio drama, he’s clearly conflicted. He still says that he wants to die, that he wants to atone for his sins and that dying is the only way he can make it up to the people he killed. He also, though, says that, at least for right now, he wants to live. Futa and especially Mahiru are on death’s door, and there’s no telling what other injury might occur. He believes he’s essential to saving lives within the Milgram prison (and I think he’s 100% right).
He even directly references this in the song lyrics, talking about “extracting the fang.” The fang is clearly Kotoko, given that Milgram has referred to the damage Kotoko does with fang imagery before and given that that’s what he’s currently healing. He has to be the one to save them because he’s the only one who can; as a result, to save lives, he has to care about his life right now. While he’s still unsure of what final verdict he wants, he knows that he needs to stay alive, at least going into trial 3.
VOTE: INNOCENT
Personally, this one’s a no-brainer. Es theorizes in the audio drama that Shidou only harvested organs from braindead patients, and though he never outright confirms it, based on his responses, it seems to me like that’s true. That means his crime isn’t as severe as we initially thought it was.
Additionally, he’s right; he is indispensable to us right now. He outright says in the audio drama that if he stops giving Mahiru care, she’ll die, whether or not anything else happens to her. That basically tells us that voting Shidou guilty means Mahiru dies. That’s not good, and I’d rather avoid prisoner death when we think it’s possible.
I also just don’t think it’s smart to change verdicts on him here. If we decide that, after all is said and done, we can’t forgive Shidou, we should do that with the third verdict. Here, we want to leave both options open. Right now, Shidou is torn between wanting to live and wanting to die. If we switch to guilty, we’ll ruin any chance he has at recovering a will to live and a will to atone through any means other than death. If we want to preserve the option of forgiving him in the end, I think we have to forgive him here. We can debate whether his actions were forgivable or not in the last round.
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Can you do Alfred and Kagetsu’s reactions to finding out s/o is pregnant?
(I've been sitting on this one a little while-- the two puppy dog husbands!!!!!)
Alfred: The golden retriever prince is naturally completely on board with the idea of starting a family with you.
It’s an intimidating idea, at first, until he remembers that you’re just another person, like he is at the end of the day.
Titles aside, you were two people who loved each other more than anything. And if you wanted a child with him, then he was going to do everything he could to provide that for you.
So when you finally break the news to him that your months of trying were successful, Alfred could hardly contain a sliver of emotion.
“Alear!! Oh, Alear!!” He wrapped you up in a massive bear hug, nearly knocking you over as he shifted between tears of joy and laughter. “We did it!!!”
“We did!” You giggled, enjoying the sunny glow of your husband’s happiness. “We’re officially going to be parents. In…I think they said I was two months along.”
“Two months? Already?!” He gasped, “That means we only have to wait seven more instead of nine!! This is such great news, darling! Oh, my gods, we’re…w-we're going to be parents!!”
He then proceeds to pepper you in kisses from head to toe, revelling the bounty of good fortune that befell you both.
Alfred wants to tell everyone right away, but somehow you convince him to take a step back and just take in the moment…privately, between the two of you.
“I’m not ready for everyone to know jsut yet.”
“What ? You don’t want to say anything?? But Alear, you’re the Divine Dragon!! You’re my wife!!!! Everyone will want to know right away! Oh, and then we can have a wonderful celebration, a-and we can gather up the royal families and have everyone attend!”
“That’s what I want to avoid.” You replied, much quieter than your husband who was practically bouncing around with great excitement.
You took his hands, a shy flush creeping onto your cheeks.
“I just…want this to be just for us. At least for a little while longer.”
“Really?” He looked confused, as though the request you made wasn’t something he could comprehend.
You squeezed his hand, smiling nervously.
“I’m very excited to have a baby with you, Alfred, and I know we’ll tell everyone and they’ll all be happy for us! But…right now, I just want it to be, you know…our thing.”
“Ohh…I see.” Alfred nodded, and beamed at his wife. “You want it to be our little family?”
“It just takes a lot of pressure off. Not the king’s heir, not the Divine Dragon’s child…just Alfred and Alear’s baby.”
“Just a normal papa, and a normal mama, who will soon be blessed with a beautiful baby.” He chimed in, drawing you into his chest and peppering your face with dozens of kisses.
You broke into a laugh, trying and failing to resist his sweet affection.
Alfred would indeed hold to his promise and would not let the announcement slip until you were ready. Whi ch was torture for him, because he wanted everyone to know how ecstatic he was! Thankfully you only made him wait a week or two…though he would claim it was a difficult week.
Mainly because his sister and friends were teasing him for acting so “creepy” when he was even more happy and excited than usual.
The surprise was worth it, though.
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Kagetsu: He had already expressed to you how wildly in love with you he was. He thought it was impossible for him to love you more than he did already.
There could not possibly be more room in his already full heart!
That’s what he thought; then you told him the news.
“Kagetsu…I’m with child.”
The impossible was achieved with those three small words.
“Y-you…you what?”
Kagetsu’s voice was barely more than a squeak. He was choked up with emotion, trying to process the news you just gave him.
You nodded your head, tears starting to build in your eyes as you repeated the news.
“I’m with child, Kage. I’m…I’m three months along, already.”
“You’re-?!” He gasped, his hands quick to grasp your shoulders. His eyes were blown wide, floored with the information you were giving him.
First you were pregnant, but now you were already three months along?!
“I-it explains all the weird behavior, doesn’t it? The sickness I was feeling, the headaches and the tiredness…Framme’s the one who confirmed it, and then we double and triple checked with Pandreo just to be sure.”
“Oh, Alear…oh, my Alear…!!” He could barely piece together a sentence, let alone a thought.
Kagetsu, who was always so chatty and happy to tell you exactly how he’s feeling was speechless. It was shocking to witness.
It was all the swordsman could do to gather you up in his arms, and hug you to his chest as tight as he possibly could.
You were somehow able to wiggle your arms free, if only to loop them around his neck as he buried his face in your hair.
“Ah…I take it you’re happy about the news, then?” You asked with tentative optimism. Kagetsu gasped softly, and pulled back to look right at you.
The tears that had gathered in your eyes had already overflowed from his. But beyond the tearstained cheeks was a smile so full it made your own heart sing.
“I c-cannot be any happier than I am, right now, in this moment.” He replied with a deep sincerity,filling you with warmth.
That man truly loved you with every facet of his being.
You cupped his cheeks, wiping away the tears that just couldn’t be stopped. He kissed your palms, trailing kisses down your wrist before he found your forehead, your nose and at last, your lips.
“Oh, my wife.” He shuddered, stroking your hair, his heartbeat loud and thundering with joy against your hands. “Alear…Alear, we’re going to be parents!”
“We are. Before we know it, we’ll have a little one to show around the Somniel.”
“I can hardly wait!!” He grinned, “Alear, I didn’t think it possible but…I truly love you more than anything in the world.”
“I love you, too.” You kissed him, tenderly, earning yourself one last beautiful moment of peace and happiness before Kagetsu could contain himself no longer.
He made sure to announce to the whole world that he was, indeed, an expecting father.
And that his brillaint, flawless, perfect, goddess-like wife who could do no wrong ever and he loved more than any living creature has ever loved something…was pregnant.
It took a while to live down that embarrassment (but he was so cute when he did).
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