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aeliagioia · 2 years

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Rules: List the first lines of the last ten (10) stories you published. Look to see any patterns you notice yourself and see if anyone else notices any. Then tag some friends.

1. Another Time Around the Wheel

The wind howled and tree branches continually battered the windows, while the limbs threatened to crash down taking the power lines with them. Snow had been falling for the better part of the day and now that the sun had set, it was even more bitterly cold.

2. Kodachrome

Ian stirred the moment he sensed Mickey moving away from him in the lush lavender-scented hotel sheets. Partially awake but mostly still asleep, he yawned.

“Whereyagoin’?”

“Shh...” Mickey tried sneaking out from under Ian’s arm but the taller man drew him back against his chest.

3. No One Here Gets Out Alive

Mickey opened the oven and the aroma of pizza rolls wafted out, filling his nostrils and making his stomach growl. Knowing the Triple Cheese ones were Ian’s favorite, he grabbed (and actually paid for) two boxes of them before Ian cashed out the drawer for the day.

4. Simple Seconds

"Wanna dance, handsome?" Ian watches Mickey’s face soften; he'd been looking for him in the middle of the dance floor. His cheeks take on the slightest bit of pink and it's not just from the fifth beer he's almost done drinking. Ian wraps both of his hands around one of Mickeys.

"Your leg ok?" He hesitates. "Ey - you didn't drink too much did you? Your meds -"

"Everything's fine, Mick. Dance with me." The redhead gives his husband's hand a slight tug and raises his arms to hold him around his shoulders.

5. Anything For You, Ian Gallagher

“Up at the goddamned ass-crack of dawn to drag suitcases through a crowded fuckin’ airport...”

Ok, so fine. I wasn’t in a great mood.

I don’t like gettin' up early, I don’t like big crowds and being in unfamiliar places. So obviously being at O’Hare at almost the time that the fuckin’ sun was coming up was not my favorite thing.

6. Gonna Watch You Shine, Gonna Watch You Grow

It’s a totally boring, nothing out of the ordinary kind of Sunday in May in the Gallagher-Milkovich household.

They sleep late, fuck, have breakfast, go for a swim and fuck again. After a mid-afternoon nap, they awaken around five o’clock, Ian convinces Mickey to go to Sav A Lot with him.

“It’ll be quick, I promise.”

7. Now It's Three In The Mornin'

Bleary-eyed but too hopped up on uppers to sleep, Ian had just pulled his street clothes out of his locker and started to change when one of his regulars showed up with a pocket full of cash and a bullet full of coke five minutes before the 17-year-old was supposed to clock out. It took exactly three seconds for him to decide to work some overtime. He whipped his t-shirt up over his head and barely got his clothes back into the locker and slammed the door shut when Ron was peeking his head in the back room where the dancers changed. 

8. I Will Die On This Hill

“I’m telling you, I can.”

The man’s voice echoed throughout the expanse of the cavernous underground space. The sound of dripping water and a soft, yet distinct and ominous scritch-scratching noise in the distance reminded each of the individuals sitting at the round table that they were in a tunnel deep underneath Manhattan. New Yorkers in their rat race thinking nothing was more important than the next sales call, the next rooftop gala event, went about their lives completely oblivious to the goings on below.

9. A Hat, A Bat, and That’s Not All

Donna’s voice was so loud, David missed what she said the first time. He moved his phone away from his ear and she repeated herself.

“David! GOOP! Your article!” She shrieked.

“Wha?”

“Twitter! Just go look at Twitter!” She told him, still shouting.

10. The Way We Get By

As soon as he woke up that morning, Mickey knew Ian was going to be waiting for him to say something. There was a weird energy in their bedroom almost as soon as Mickey registered being awake. He yawned and cuddled into Ian’s chest, kissing his sweaty skin. Regardless of the season or temperature of the bedroom, Ian always slept hot, a perfect polar opposite to Mickey’s perpetual nighttime chill. Like with many other things in their relationship, they evened each other out. He felt his husband’s hand run up and down his bicep, warming him and Ian kissed his forehead.

Sooo there are a few things I know I do. I begin with characters waking up or mid-way through action or a conversation. There’s rarely a big set up at an introduction - if you've read my stuff before you have a decent idea of what you're in store for.

Anyone see other patterns? This is like an exercise for class lol

@can-i-go-with-him @energievie @filorux @notherenewjersey @shameless-notashamed @wildxwired

#Opening lines #last ten fics #patterns #writers writing #gallavich #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #shameless #fanfic #ao3 #fanfiction #schitts creek

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luv4fandoms · 5 years

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The Crüe Girls [Ch 4]

The Crüe and I finally got the inspiration up to work on the story more! Life has been busy for a lot of us, and motivation has been low. I think from now on instead of trying to plan out super long chapters we are just gonna go with the flow of what comes to us. So here is Chapter 4! As always this story stars myself (Liz), and these lovely ladies! @xxmotleyfuckingcruexx @rockersbox @livingdeadharley @miamc2282008 and @an-occasional-dreamer .

Warnings: Cussing? Lol

Word Count: 1,932

Part 1, Part 3, Masterlist

“Guys...I think I'm in love” Tommy sighed while sitting on the couch.

“You say that every time a girl comes along”Mick stated, looking over at the dummer who had sat next to him.

“Yeah but this time it's different, I'm gonna take Giulia out on a date soon, I really think she's the one” Tommy explained.

“That's what you said about Erica” Vince stated from chair.

“And Sophie” Nikki added from the kitchen.

“And-” Mick started but Tommy cut him off.

“Ok I get it, you don't have to be assholes”

“Sure we do” Nikki smirked, returning with a beer.

“You sure Harley would like that?” Tommy teased, causing Nikki to simply roll his eyes while he say down.

“Unlike you, I'm not going to change myself for a chick”

“Who said I'm changin? Giulia likes me how I am”

“She hasn't had to deal with you for long” Mick spoke before taking a drag of his cigarette, and earning a laugh from Nikki and Vince.

“Whatever man” Tommy brushed it off.

“And besides. Harley's got a wild side to her, I can tell, she just hasn't embraced it” Nikki smirked.

“Oh, we all can see you wanna embrace more than just her wild side” Tommy laughed, earning a shove from Nikki but a smirk nonetheless. Mick just shook his head, which caught Vince's attention.

“You seem awfully quiet over there Mick” the statement causing everyone to turn to their guitarist.

“Yeah dude, what about Liz huh? Think she's a secret party girl?” Tommy laughed.

“I think she's a lot more mature than you three”

“So she's just your type then” Nikki chuckled

“So you gonna try to get that?” Tommy asked, earning a glare from Mick.

“You three idiots do realize that it's possible to enjoy someone's company at times where you don't have your dick in them, right?”

“Yeah but where's the fun in that?” Tommy asked earning laughs from Nikki and Vince. Mick simply shook his head and took a drink from the vodka bottle, muttering about stupid teenagers.

“So, think you'll get any further with Mo?” Nikki asked, turning his attention to the blonde.

“Man I don't know what the hell her problem is. There is no way a chick can stay that angry about something stupid like knocking them over, for this fuckin long” Vince sighed.

“Maybe you are the one who should try not being yourself” Nikki stated, pointing his beer at Vince.

“Fuck you Sixx” Vince replied earning a chuckle from the man.

“They said she was the type to hold grudges” Tommy added, earning a groan from Vince.

“Why do you care?” Mick asked, causing Vince to look at him.

“what is the real reason you're so angry at the fact that she isn't falling to her knees for you” he added, Vince simply rolled his eyes at what he was insinuating.

“There is no reason, it's just annoying” Vince replied.

"Whatever you say kid" Mick added, before Nikki spoke up.

"I think you want her because she doesn't want you"

"The thrill of the chase" Tommy laughed.

"Why would I go out of my way to get a girl who is clearly blind, when I have girls falling for me every night?"

"Don't know man, that's your problem to sort out" Nikki shrugged, before the conversation turned to new songs.

Razzle's pov

I hung up the phone and sat down with a sigh, the smile never leaving my lips.

"I don't think I have seen you frown in the past four days, not that I'm complaining love" Mike said while sitting next to me on my hotel bed. We had finally stopped for our next gig and I had called Mia as soon as I could.

"Is it that obvious?" I laughed.

"That you are bloody head over heels? Crystal mate" Mike laughed.

"I just haven't been able to get her off my mind" I blushed.

"Little Razzle is in love!" Mike exclaimed causing me to roll my eyes.

"Come off it mate"

"Never" he smirked before adding sincerely.

"I'm happy for you love"

"Thanks" I smiled

"Just don't get too distracted, we are still on tour remember" he winked while standing up.

"Of course" I laughed.

"Get some sleep Romeo" he laughed while closing my door, I looked at the phone once more, the smile returning.

Liz's pov

A few days had passed since we chilled with the guys, and every night Mo had been sneaking out. On the first night I simply thought she needed air so I fell back asleep, but when I heard the door open again the clock read almost four in the morning! The next two nights were the same, and tonight I was determined to find out where little Mo was running off to. The other's hadn't seem to notice yet, so when it came time to leave that evening I wasn't shocked by Mo's quick excuse.

"I think I'm gonna head out and see some of the town instead" she replied when Giulia asked if we wanted to tag along. Nikki and Tommy were wanting to hang out, according to G, Tommy said Vince wouldn't be there, and to relay that to Mo in case she wanted to come. Mick was back at his house since he didn't live with the other three, and I didn't want to be a fifth wheel of what I knew was sort of a double date, so I simply stated that I was going to stay at the house. After the girls had left I waited a couple minutes before I left as well, and it didn't take long to spot Mo down the road.

"Where are you sneaking off to every night?" I asked no one as I made my way after her, ducking down alleys when she would glance backwards. I saw her duck into the rainbow and I quickly made my way over to a window. Glancing inside I watched her walk up to a table that held four very familiar looking guys.

"No fuckin way" I breathed as I looked over four of the original five members of the one and only Guns N' Roses.

"So this is where you've been sneaking off to? Why wouldn't you tell us?" I wondered out loud as I thought over my options. I could either one, walk back to the house and wait, or two, walk in and let her know that the cat's out of the bag and ask why she felt the need to keep it a secret….

Looking myself over in the reflection for a minute, I nodded, option two it is. I made my way inside and spotted Mo at the bar, making my way over to her I stopped right behind her.

"So this is where you have been sneaking off to" I smirked when she jumped, before spinning around.

"Liz! What are you doing here?!"

"Following you"

"I knew I felt someone behind me!" She stated, more to herself.

"So you have been sneaking out at night to hang out with Guns n' Roses?" I asked before ordering a drink.

"Maybe"

"Why?"

"Because Axl wanted to get to know me" she stated.

"I was asking why you felt the need to sneak out, but holy shit really?" I asked before taking a sip of my vodka and coke.

"Yeah, the day Mia and I went to the record store, we met and he said he wanted to get to know me, but we all know the rumors about him and his temper, so I didn't want you all to get over protective, so I figured that-" I cut her off by raising my hand.

"Has he been treating you good?"

"Yeah"

"Then that's all that matters"

"You act like we're dating" she stated.

"Wouldn't blame ya if you tried" I winked.

"I have a feeling you would rather try with someone else, or should I say some others" she said while glancing back at the table.

"You wouldn't be wrong" I laughed remembering just who was at the table.

"Come on, Harley and Giulia won't be back for awhile," she smiled.

"This is true" I laughed, turning and following her back to the table, but not before earning a laugh from her when I asked.

"When did you become the bad influence?"

"Guys, this is my friend Liz. Liz this is Izzy, Duff, Slash, and Axl"

"Nice to meet ya" I smiled.

"You too" Axl smiled while Mo took her place beside him.

"Have a seat" Slash said while scooting over in the booth, I smiled and sat down, catching Duff sending Slash a quick glare before turning to me.

"So you're one of Mo's roommates?"

"Yup, decided to come see what L.A's nightlife had to offer" I smiled while looking over at Mo while Axl draped his arm across her shoulders.

"What did you find?" Slash asked, resting his arm on the seat behind me. I smiled, my eyes glancing from him, to Duff and back.

"Found out I may have to come out more often" I smile, earning laughs from the boys.

The saying "time flies when you're having fun" never made much since until tonight. Before I knew it, it was almost four a.m. and we were all either well buzzed or drunk. I still couldn't figure out of Mo and Axl were close friends or on the verge of dating, but she wouldn't stop smiling, so either way, I was happy for her. As we exited the bar Axl asked us once more if we wanted him to walk us back to the house.

"We're fine sweety I promise" I laughed.

"How come he's sweety?" Duff asked, coming up behind me and wrapping an arm around my waist.

"You're all sweety, it's a southern thing" I laughed.

"So now that you've seen what L.A has to offer? You gonna come out more often?" Slash asked, coming up on my other side while lighting a cigarette.

"Maybe" I smirked.

"Let us know when you want to, we can show you all the cool places" Duff smirked.

"I'm sure you two could" I nodded.

"But we better get home before the others have our heads" I laughed, Duff and Slash gave me a quick hug while Axl said his goodbyes to Mo.

"It was nice meeting you all" I smiled at the group.

"You too, let's do it again" Axl nodded.

"Lets!" And with that the boys walked one way while we walked the other.

"Ok spill, is there something there?" I asked Mo once we were far enough away.

"You two were pretty cozy tonight, and as an outsider it looked like y'all were together" I added.

"Honestly...I don't know" Mo replied.

"Do you want there to be something?"

"I mean...I wouldn't be mad" she laughed but added.

"But like I said, I just don't know"

"That's understandable, y'all just met what? Four days ago? No need to rush. Take it from me, rushing into something never ends well" I told her.

"Says the woman who was flirting with not just one, but two guys." She laughed.

"Harmless flirting. I refuse to be the Yoko of GNR" I laughed.

"So if Duff or Slash asked you out?" She smirked.

"Shit don't put me in that predicament!" I laughed as we made our way up to the house. We quietly entered, but as soon as we shut the door the light turned on, and we were met by four curious pairs of eyes.

Well there is chapter 4! I hope you all enjoy it! If you would like to be added to the perm taglist for this story just ask.

(Perm taglist)

(For some reason it is not coming up with some people when I type in their blog names)

@supersoldierballerina @bllrklv @xxbookqueenxx @kingbouji3 @redhotvinyl @letslyn @sixxmarz @anxious-diabetic @dopplebeater @ceruleanrainblues @criminalyetminimal @pfft-halsey @grxvityb @the-tiny-writer @not-so-quality-imagines

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still-single · 4 years

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new HEATHEN DISCO for Sun Feb 23 2020 <-- LISTEN

Brand new show for the week. Very good one, more in a psych-folk bag but overall thrumming with the pulse of our unstable times. Check it out here.

Tracklist below:

FACS - Alone Without

Spacemen 3 - Velvet Jam

Terry Reid - Sleep

Horse Lords - Peoples Park

Space Opera - Prelude No. 4

Cowboy - Please Be with Me

Helen Money - Coppe

Metal Mountains - Flicker Within/Without

East Village - Here it Comes

Riki - Spirit of Love

Marcie's Still Waiting - Swamp Thing

Club Music - Industrial Beam

Lifeguard - Bosa

Dif Juz - Pass it On Charlie

Surface of Eceyon - Untitled

Future Sound of London - Dirty Shadows

Link Wray - Fire and Brimstone

Beatrice Dillon - Square Fifths

Marian Henderson - First Boy I Loved

Mick Greenwood - To the Farside

The Velvet Underground - I'll Be Your Mirror

The Carrie Nations - In the Long Run

The Mantles - Waiting Out the Storm

Vacant Gardens - Slow Diamonds

Wildflower - Light in the Sorrow

The Chills - Pink Frost

Lowland Hum - Thin Places

Connections - 2 Makes 2

Catherine Wheel - Don't Want to Know If You Are Lonely

Jeff Parker - Del Rio

White Heaven - My Cold Dimension

The Bug vs Earth - Cold

Wizzard - Meet Me at the Jailhouse

Calibro 35 - 4x4

The Flesh Eaters - Disintegration Nation

Die Krupps - Wahre Arbeit, Wahrer Lohn

Prurient - Time's Arrow

Stuck - Bells

Primo! - Best and Fairest

Es - Chemical

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welcometothepenumbra · 5 years

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BONUS: THE RITA MINUTE 3 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MISTA STEEL!

VOICE (FROM TV): …you see many techniques like this, here at the Galactic Paper Spaceship Grand Prix. It’s the fluting at the tail that gives the extra level of control—

RITA: Yeah, yeah, just show me the ship again!

VOICE (FROM TV): Its engineering team calls it the Manta Stinger Mark II. Now, let’s look at this beauty up close…

SOUND: PAPER CRUMPLING & RIPPING. RITA GRUNTING & MUMBLING UNINTELLIGIBLY.

VOICE (FROM TV): Made of only a single sheet of uncut A4 paper, the Manta Stinger has shattered records. Its design, which mathematicians have called “technically impossible,” took its team fifty years and nearly two hundred million creds in funding to achieve—

RITA: Done! Now let’s see this baby fly!

SOUND: FLAP.

Whoooaaaaaaa.

SOUND: COMMS BEEP.

OH! A call!

Hi, hello, this is Rita’s house, Rita speaking.

Oh, Frannie, I’m so glad you called! I’m up to some very important business. I decided I was gonna get into makin’ paper spaceships, well actually first I was gonna get into antigravity yo-yos, but then I was flippin’ the channel over to the Mars yo-yo convention, and I got stopped on this Galactic Paper Spaceship whatever and I think I really—

Huh? What do you mean, how was the party? What par— (GASPS) Mista Steel’s birthday party!

No, of course I didn’t forget! And besides, I still got time, don’t I? Mista Steel’s birthday party ain’t until 7 PM on December 24th, and I specifically remember this Grand Spree or whatever it’s called started at 6 PM on the 23rd—

SOUND: EXPLOSION (FROM TV).

AH! Stupid stream! Gonna give me a heart attack…

VOICE (FROM TV): And as per GPSGP tradition, that bomb marks the twenty-four-point-fifth hour of our competition. It is now 6:30 PM on December the 24th.

RITA: Oh, there it is! The heart attack! Alright, bye-bye, Frannie, I gotta call you back, I got a party at my apartment in… thirty minutes!

SOUND: COMMS BEEP.

Okay, okay. Okay. It’s okay, Rita. You were prepared for this. You made a party checklist, so you wouldn’t forget to do anything. And, well, you forgot about the checklist, so maybe next time, that goes on the checklist too. But for now you just… gotta… find it.

SOUND: PAPER RUSTLING.

It’s just gotta be on one’a these paper spaceships, right? Can’t be more than a few… hundred. A few hundred. It’s no biggie. Really.

It was a surprise party anyway, right? It ain’t like Mista Steel is expectin’ nothin’. As far as he knows you two are just gonna go to a movie, and you’re gonna buy the first popcorn and he’s gonna buy all the popcorn after that, so I mean anything’s gonna be a nice surprise compared to AH HA HA! Here it is!

Come to Rita, you sneaky little shippy! Alright, let’s see, here…

Recipe for one Mista Steel’s best surprise birthday party ever, by Rita. Item one: Rita! Item two: snacks. Item three: convince Mista Steel you forgot when his birthday was, so that he doesn’t think you’re planning a party. (GIGGLES) Item four: tell Mista Steel you wanna go see a movie on his birthday, but your car is broken and Frannie is dead so he needs to pick you up. Item five: more snacks, items six through nine, even more snacks…

Yep, everything good so far. Looks like I checked off everything on this list OH NO!

I forgot the last thing! Item ten: invite Mista Steel’s friends.

Well, Rita, this is quite a pickle you got yourself into. Planning a party for your best boss’s loved ones in half an hour? Some would say it can’t be done. Maybe there’s a lesson to be learned here, somewhere under all these paper spaceships. But that would take time, so instead, you’re gonna pick up that comms, and you’re gonna make some calls, and you’re gonna—

SOUND: CLUNK.

—oh, no, I dropped the comms.

SOUND: COMMS BEEPS.

Ah, it’s ringing! Hello? Hello, comms? Hello, comms! I miss you!

SOUND: PAPER RUSTLING.

There! Gotcha!

SOUND: COMMS BEEPS STOP.

Hello, this is Rita’s house, starring Rita, how can I help you?

MICK MERCURY (FROM COMMS): Hey-hey, just the Rita I wanted to talk to!

RITA: I know that voice… hey, wait a minute, aren’t you the one who keeps callin’ and tryin’ to sell me phone books from thirty years ago?

MICK (FROM COMMS): No! I mean, yes. But that’s not why I’m calling! It’s me, Rita, Mick Mercury! Juno’s best friend?

RITA: Well, I don’t know about that.

MICK (FROM COMMS): Listen, I just wanted to tell you that I got your message yesterday and I’m on my way.

RITA: Message… oh, right! I did call you!

MICK (FROM COMMS): You did, that’s right! And then you stopped mid-sentence and said something about paper spaceships and I thought, hey, how come nobody’s built a car out of paper yet? It’d be pretty cheap, right? Sell like gangbusters! So I spent a few dozen hours drawin’ up some plans, a business model or two, and—

RITA: Mista Mercury, Mista Mercury! This is all really interestin’ and of course I am going to want to know all about how I can get in on the ground floor of this business venture, but first, we got somethin’ more important to deal with: Mista Steel’s party, in thirty minutes!

MICK (FROM COMMS): Jay’s party is in thirty minutes?!

RITA: Oh no, you forgot too?

MICK (FROM COMMS): Yeah, completely! I thought it started thirty minutes ago, and I was just calling to say sorry I was so late!

RITA: You… really? You’re here??

MICK (FROM COMMS): Almost! Just give me five minutes to find a place to park my bike and I’ll be right in.

RITA: Yes, yes! Thank you so much, Mista Mercury. This is gonna be the best Mista Steel’s birthday ever!

MICK (FROM COMMS): But, hold on a sec, do you think there’s something wrong with the phone books idea? Because like I figured people sell antique furniture, right, so why not antique phone books? It’s just that I did a lot of dumpster diving and just got a whole bunch of tetanus just for—

RITA: Alright, I’ll see you soon, byeeee!

SOUND: COMMS BEEP.

Whew. Well, that’s one down. Practically took care of itself.

Now let’s see, who else… OH! I know! I’ll call Mista Steel’s other friend!

SOUND: KEYBOARD CLICKS.

Just gotta run this decryption software, embed a virus or two, and… I’m in!

SOUND: COMMS BEEP. THEN STATIC.

SASHA WIRE (FROM COMMS): Hello? Who is this?

RITA: This is Rita! Hi!

VOICE 1 (FROM COMMS): Agent W, we need your full attention here?

WIRE (FROM COMMS): Yes, fine, just give me a moment. Alright, Rita, out with it. What’s this all about? Who put you up to this? Was it the Neptunians? Yoblonsky’s men, did he get you this signal?

RITA: What? Oh, no, Sasha, I just got this signal all by my little old self. It’s all in a day’s work for the one and only Rita—

WIRE (FROM COMMS): Stop toying with me. How do you know my name?

RITA: Oh, the boss told me years ago. He talks about you a lot, y’know. “Grr, that Sasha Wire! She sure is great! Agent of Dark Matters! I oughta teach her a lesson, give her what I owe her!” That kinda thing, I think. Usually I ain’t listenin’.

WIRE (FROM COMMS): Teach her a lesson? Give her what I owe her… wha– what does that even mean? That can’t be– this is about the December 25th deal, isn’t it? That’s classified information! How do you know—

RITA: Actually the whole deal is goin’ on on the 24th. That’s kinda why I was callin’ you, ‘cause I didn’t want you to miss it!

WIRE (FROM COMMS): The 24th… we were off by a day.

Agent. Agent! Put that down and come here!

VOICE 1 (FROM COMMS): But Agent W, this is highly explosive—

WIRE (FROM COMMS): And this situation is more explosive, trust me. Put it down. I think I’ve got a lead on the December 25th deal.

RITA: Ooh, wow, you must be important, huh? It takes like a whole three people just for you to write down an appointment.

WIRE (FROM COMMS): Alright, Rita, or whatever your name is. Enough games. I’m only going to ask this once, and you had better not lie to me. We have ways of finding that out. We have ways of making you regret it.

RITA: Why would I lie? I just want you to come to the party!

WIRE (FROM COMMS): The party… write that down, Agent. Might be code.

(TAKES A BREATH) Alright, Rita. So. Who do you work for?

RITA: Mista Steel.

WIRE (FROM COMMS): Mista…

We’ve talked before, haven’t we.

RITA: Yeah! Hi again, Agent Wire! Mista Steel’s birthday party is in twenty minutes and I know you’re really busy but it’d be nice if you’d just—

SOUND: COMMS BEEP.

Uh, hello? Agent Wire? Miss Sasha? Hello? Huh. Guess she… doesn’t wanna come.

Well, that’s alright! I guess I’ll just call one’a Mista Steel’s other friends, like… l-like…!

Huh.

SOUND: COMMS BEEP.

Ooh, ooh, that must be one now!

Hello, this is Chez Rita brought to you by Rita, how can I help you?

MICK (FROM COMMS): Yeah, hey, Rita? It’s Mick again.

RITA: Mista Mercury! I was startin’ to get worried. I thought you said you were only five minutes away.

MICK (FROM COMMS): Yeah, I’m still just looking for ya. Hey, speaking of which, how many wheels does your place have?

RITA: None at all! Are you offering?

MICK (FROM COMMS): Why, would you buy them? ‘Cause I could get you some wheels easy, just give me a—

Hey, wait, you said your place has got no wheels? That’s, like, exaggerating? Like you only have a few, right?

RITA: No. None of the apartments in Hyperion City got wheels that I know of, Mista Mercury.

MICK (FROM COMMS): Wait, apartment? Who said anything about an apartment?

RITA: Don’t be mad, it’s just where I live, I ain’t ever known no other way!

MICK (FROM COMMS): I ain’t mad– I mean, I’m not mad! I just thought… so when you said you lived on Lakeview, you meant, like, a street named that?

RITA: Uh… yeah. Lakeview Street. Where– where are you?

MICK (FROM COMMS): Oh, that explains it! Whew. For a minute there I thought you meant, like, your place had a view of a lake, you know? So I went and looked for the only lake I could find, and basically all there is around it is a big junkyard, so. I guess that’s not it, is what you’re saying.

RITA: But… there ain’t any lakes in Hyperion City.

MICK (FROM COMMS): Yeah, yeah, I know, somehow I got it in my head that you lived in Valles Marineris. Weird, right? (LAUGHS)

Yeah, anyway, do you think this party’s still gonna be going on in, like, fourteen hours? Because, that’s about how long it’s gonna take me to get there. The old hovercycle’s not as zippy as he used to be.

VOICE 2 (FROM COMMS): Hey, you! This is private property!

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT (FROM COMMS).

Get outta my junkyard.

SOUND: BLASTER SHOTS (FROM COMMS).

MICK (FROM COMMS): Sweet shining nebula! Gotta go, Rita, love ya, see ya in fourteen hours!

RITA: But, Mista Mercury—!

SOUND: COMMS BEEP.

Wow. He’s a real mess, ain’t he?

Not like you, Rita. You got your whole act together. And you still got fifteen minutes to call and—

SOUND: CLUNK.

—oh, no, I dropped the comms again.

(SIGHS) Alright. Time’s a wastin’!

***

RITA: I’m tellin’ ya, the boss is impossible to plan a party for! I called so many people, his one friend, his other friend, and everybody else I could think of, but nobody can make it! Valles Vicky’s busy with her wife, the Prince of Mars said he can’t afford a phone, and Cecil Kanagawa, well, he really did want to come, but then he was talkin’ about the stuff he was thinkin’a bringin’ so I decided we better not.

What? What? Frannie, you gotta do somethin’ about the volume on your comms. Everyone else always comes through loud and clear and you just sound like you’re talkin’ with a mouth full of paper spaceships, which coincidentally just so happens to be how I tried to convince the Prince of Maaaaars that I needed medical attention but it didn’t even work so don’t try.

Does he have any work friends? Frannie, I’m his work friends.

(SIGHS) Everyone from his HCPD days either moved off Mars or wants Mista Steel dead, and that’s the kind of drama you really don’t want at a birthday party, Frannie, not unless you think it might be really really really boring— (GASPS)

No, wait, that ain’t true! There’s one cop who doesn’t want Mista Steel dead! I'm pretty sure!

Thanks for the idea, Frannie! I’m gonna give him a call right now!

SOUND: COMMS BEEP. COMMS BEEPS.

C’mon, c’mon, c’mon…

CAPTAIN KHAN (FROM COMMS): God damn it, Loo, for the last time, I told you I’m not taking calls today!

RITA: You are now! This is Rita, from Rita’s house, home of the Rita, and I got a question for you!

KHAN (FROM COMMS): Yeah, wow, geez, forceful. Kinda tempting to just do exactly what you say, when you yell it like—

Wait. Rita? Like… Steel’s secretary? We’ve talked before, right?

RITA: You bet, buster! And I ain’t gonna hang up this phone until I get an answer!

KHAN (FROM COMMS): Alright, geez, just get to it, the kids are waiting for me.

RITA: Mista Steel is having a birthday party in five minutes! And also, would you like to come?

KHAN (FROM COMMS): Do I want to… what? In five minutes?

RITA: It is okay if you are a little late, so long as you bring snacks!

KHAN (FROM COMMS): Uh… no. That’s my answer. I’m not. No, I’m not gonna do it. Not gonna go to Steel’s birthday party in five minutes.

RITA: …Oh.

KHAN (FROM COMMS): So, uh… you have a good evening, ma’am.

RITA: But but but but but but but but but— (CRYING)

KHAN (FROM COMMS): Oh geez, oh no, oh fuddlenugs…

NOOR KHAN (FROM COMMS): Omar! That had better not be work on the phone! We were just about to start wrapping presents!

KHAN (FROM COMMS): Yeah, uh, it’s not work, Noor! Just a… crying lady! Be right out!

NOOR (FROM COMMS): Omar!

KHAN (FROM COMMS): I said I’d be right out! Thank you for respecting my space!

SOUND: DOOR SLAMS (FROM COMMS).

(SIGHS) Alright, come on, calm down. What’s this all about?

RITA: (HICCUP-CRYING) I ju– I ju– I ju– I ju– I just wanted to make a good birthday party for Mista Steel, and I kept tryin’ but nobody can make it and I just wanted it to be perfect and the best forever is that too much to aaaaaaask… (SOBBING)

KHAN (FROM COMMS): Alright, shhh, shhh. Calm down, now. It’s alright. (COUGHS) Um, hey, look, Rita… I just can’t do it. Reason one: I don’t even like Steel. Reason two: it’s Christmas Eve! I’ve got my hands full over here. Full of presents and babies and a whole turkey, earlier. That didn’t last long.

RITA: Christma Zeve? Now you’re just makin’ things up!

KHAN (FROM COMMS): I’m not! It’s an Earth thing. And anyway, I’m too busy—

RITA: Busy with what?

KHAN (FROM COMMS): I don’t know. First we’re gonna wrap all their presents and put them underneath the tree. Then I dress up as a big happy giant in red clothes and try to steal the presents while they hit me with a stick to make me spit out all the chocolate coins I crammed in my mouth, and maybe later we’ll go from door to door and ask for letters cut out in the shape of different guts and things.

RITA: That… sounds… really complicated and fun.

KHAN (FROM COMMS): Yeah, I don’t know. Earth traditions are kinda free-form. Feels sorta like we improvise it most of the time.

RITA: Well, can I bring Mista Steel there?

KHAN (FROM COMMS): No, Rita. This day’s for family. Also, we’re supposed to have fun on Christmas. And Steel? Well, Steel ain’t exactly fun.

RITA: That’s true. But— (SNIFFLES) What am I supposed to do about his birthday party?

KHAN (FROM COMMS): Alright. Fine. You need some wisdom? You need old man beardo to come down from the mountain and give you his ten amendments? Well, I don’t got ten. I only got one. But here it is: you know what the true meaning of Christmas is, Rita?

RITA: No. I don’t care about Christmas. I care about Mista Steel! An’ it’s his birthday! And it ain’t even Christmas, you said it’s Christma Zeve, and—

KHAN (FROM COMMS): Alright. True meaning of birthdays, then. Christmas is probably somebody’s birthday. That’s just math. But anyway, the true meaning of birthdays is this: you didn’t die yet.

RITA: Hmm, yeah.

Captain, I don’t know what that means.

KHAN (FROM COMMS): It means… I don’t know, you could be dead! You know how easy it is to be dead? People do it every day. Some people know it’s comin’, some people don’t, some people are scared of it, some people aren’t. But the fact is that once you go dead there’s no going back, so, like… it’s pretty special that you’re not right now. So… on your birthday we just… mark the day you started living. We celebrate it. You get your loved ones all together and you kiss ‘em and love ‘em because, hell, you’re not gonna be able to do it forever. And that means no matter how many friends you got with you, no matter how your life’s going today, no matter how many people you left behind… that means today is pretty special. Always.

RITA: (SNIFFLES) Wow, Captain Khan. That was really nice.

KHAN (FROM COMMS): Yeah. It was, wasn’t it. (COUGHS) Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go hug every single one of my kids at least a couple times.

RITA: Okay. Have a good Christma Zeve, Captain Khan.

KHAN (FROM COMMS): Yeah, you too, Rita. And tell Steel… enh, just give him a hug, okay? Poor sucker looks like he needs it.

SOUND: COMMS BEEP.

RITA: (DEEP BREATH) Well, Rita? I guess it’s just gonna be you tonight. You’re just gonna have to be enough fun for everyone. Oh, wait, that’s really easy.

SOUND: DOORBELL.

Hello, who is it?

JUNO: (THROUGH THE DOOR) It’s Juno. Open up.

RITA: Be right there!

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

Alright. Just gotta be as fun as four dozen people. Easy.

SOUND: KNOCKING.

JUNO: (THROUGH THE DOOR) Rita!

RITA: Comin’, boss!

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

Surpriiiiise!

JUNO: Oh, no. No, you didn’t. Please tell me you d—

Oh. You actually didn’t.

RITA: Didn’t… forget your birthday?

JUNO: No, you didn’t throw me a big surprise party. I was worried I was gonna show up and there would be like fifty people here. (SIGHS) That’s a huge relief, honestly.

RITA: It… is?

JUNO: Yeah. Y’know, on the way over here I got myself so worked up over the thought that I actually convinced myself you’d invite a cop. Like, I don’t know, Captain Khan or somethin’.

RITA: So, you’re… so you’re– just so I’m sure. You’re not upset then, that it’s just you and me, and nobody else and we really are goin’ to see a movie?

JUNO: Honestly, Rita, it’s been a long day. I think a movie’s about all I’ve got in me.

Mind if I, uh, powder my nose before we go?

RITA: Uh… sure.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

JUNO: Nice paper spaceships, by the way.

RITA: Thanks, boss.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.

Huh. I guess… nothin’ did go wrong tonight, really.

How come this feels too easy?

SOUND: DOORBELL.

Oh, there it is! Oh no, oh no, oh no…

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

Mista Mercury, hi, hello, glad you could make it but now you gotta go, I’ll talk to you later—

PETER NUREYEV(!): Mister… who?

RITA: Mista—

Oh. It’s just a delivery man.

NUREYEV: Indeed it is. Tsar Shipping, at your service. Sign here, please.

SOUND: SCRIBBLING.

And there you are.

RITA: But… I didn’t order any flowers—

NUREYEV: Goodbye.

SOUND: DOOR CLOSES.

RITA: Huh.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

JUNO: Rita? Who was that?

RITA: Uh… just a delivery man, boss.

JUNO: Oh, good. Had me worried it was somebody coming for a party. Guess I’m jumpier than I– thought…

What are those?

RITA: Uh, flowers? Card says they’re for you.

JUNO: Can– can I… can I see ‘em?

SOUND: CRUMPLING.

RITA: I mean, they are yours, boss.

JUNO: Does the card say anything?

RITA: It just says… happy birthday, Juno. Aw, that’s nice, ain’t it? Must be from a client who knows where I live and also knew you were going to be here at exactly this time today. Sweet.

Uh, boss? You okay?

JUNO: Yeah. Yep. I-I’m fine. Probably just… jumping to conclusions. Hey, uh… what if we go to that movie now?

RITA: In just a sec, boss. But first…

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

Nnnyah! Happy birthday, Mista Steel! And merry Christmas.

JUNO: Yeah. Thanks.

Wait, what the hell’s a Christmas?

RITA: I don’t know. Captain Khan told me to say it.

JUNO: Captain Kh– why were you talking to Captain—

RITA: Oh! Ah! Would ya look at the time! We’re nearly gonna be late for the movie, let’s go, Mista Steel, I won’t take anythin’ but the best seats in the house!

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

JUNO: Yeah, alright. Be right there.

Dahlias and roses… huh.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

SOPHIE KANER: In honor of this story about being thankful for those around you, we would like to finish this tale a little differently.

KEVIN VIBERT: We at The Penumbra would like to express our thanks to the following people:

SOPHIE: Firt and foremost, to all of our supporters on Patreon who make this project possible. We could not do this without you.

MUSIC: STARTS.

This half-season your contributions have bought us equipment, security, knowledge, and time. This show would be only a shadow of what it is without you. Thank you.

KEVIN: We would like to give special thanks to our $30 per episode supporters Atha Lang, Vron, Charlie Spiegel, Minchowski, Jamie Gunter, and the Princess and the Scrivener. Your generosity genuinely stuns us. Thank you.

SOPHIE: We would also like to thank the actors who lent their voices to this episode, including: Kate Jones as Rita, Stefano Perti as Mick Mercury, Sophie Kaner – that’s me! – as Sasha Wire, Jason Mellin as the Dark Matters agent, Elliot Sicard as Omar Khan, Joshua Ilon as Juno Steel, and Noah Simes as… well, you know who.

KEVIN: We’d also like to thank the people behind who worked behind the scenes to make this show we love, including: Alice Chung, Kat Buckingham, Noah Simes, Mikaela Buckley, Ryan Vibert, Scott Gallica, Grahame Turner, and I would like to thank Sophie Kaner.

SOPHIE: And I would like to thank Kevin Vibert.

KEVIN: And more than anyone else, Traveler, we want to thank you. You who write stories about us, who draw art of us, who talk about us, who think about us, who lend your ears to us. You who board our train for parts unknown time and time again. Thank you.

SOPHIE: The year’s end comes upon us, Travelers. But don’t worry, we’ll see you again in March, when season two continues. So rest up, prepare yourselves, and have a very merry… birthday.

(LAUGHING) I might cry. I have to do it again.

#juno steel #bonus

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brn1029 · 2 years

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On this date in music history…

May 19th

1960 - Alan Freed

American DJ Alan Freed was indicted along with seven others for accepting $30,650 in payola from six record companies. Two years later, he was convicted and given a suspended sentence and a $300 fine.

1967 - The Beatles

The Beatles held a press party at manager's Brian Epstein's house in London for the launch of the Sgt. Pepper album. Linda Eastman was hired as the press photographer for the event.

1973 - Stevie Wonder

Stevie Wonder went to No.1 on the US singles chart with 'You Are The Sunshine Of My Life'. His third US No.1, won Wonder a Grammy Award for Best Male Pop Vocal Performance. This song was the second single released from the album 'Talking Book'.

1973 - Paul Simon

Paul Simon released the single 'Kodachrome' named after the Kodak 35mm film Kodachrome which became a No.2 hit in the US. It was not released as a single in Britain, because the BBC would not play the trademarked name.

1976 - Keith Richards

Rolling Stone Keith Richards crashed his car near Newport Pagnell, Bucks, after falling asleep at the wheel; marijuana and cocaine were found by the police resulting in another fine for the guitarist.

1978 - Dire Straits

Dire Straits released their first major label single 'Sultans Of Swing', recorded on a £120 budget. The song was first recorded as a demo at Pathway Studios, North London, in July 1977, and quickly acquired a following after it was put on rotation at Radio London.

1979 - Abba

ABBA started a four week run at No.1 on the UK album chart with 'Voulez-Vous' the group's fourth No.1 album.

1979 - Eric Clapton

Eric Clapton held a party at his Surrey house celebrating his recent marriage to Patti Boyd. Clapton had set-up a small stage in the garden and as the evening progressed, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr ended up jamming together along with Clapton, Ginger Baker and Mick Jagger. The all-star band ran through old Little Richard and Eddie Cochran songs.

1979 - Supertramp

Supertramp went to No.1 on the US album chart with 'Breakfast In America', the group's only US No.1. It featured three US Billboard hit singles: 'The Logical Song', 'Goodbye Stranger' and 'Take the Long Way Home'.

1980 - Ringo Starr

Ringo Starr and his future wife were involved in a car crash less than half a mile from where Marc Bolan was killed, the car was a write-off but Starr and Bach were not seriously injured.

1984 - Bob Marley

Bob Marley and the Wailers started a 12-week run at No.1 on the UK album chart with the compilation album 'Legend', released to commemorate the third anniversary of Marley's death.

1988 - James Brown

James Brown was arrested for the fifth time in 12 months, following a car chase near his home, he was charged with assault, resisting arrest and being in charge of illegal weapons, he was given a 6 year jail sentence.

2001 - Mike Sammes

Mike Sammes founder of The Mike Sammes Singers died aged 73. He worked with Tom Jones, Cliff Richard and featured on The Beatles, ‘I Am The Walrus’ and 'The Long And Winding Road.'

2010 - Led Zeppelin

'Stairway To Heaven' was named the UK's favourite rock song in a survey by listeners to radio station Absolute Classic Rock. Led Zeppelin had two other tracks in the top 10; ‘Whole Lotta Love’ was voted at No. 4 and ‘Rock 'n' Roll’, from the group’s fourth album, was at No. 7.

2013 - John Lennon and George Harrison

A guitar played by John Lennon and George Harrison sold for $408,000 (£269,000) at auction. The custom-made instrument, built in 1966 by VOX was bought by an unidentified US buyer in New York. Harrison played ‘I Am The Walrus’, on the guitar in a scene from Magical Mystery Tour in 1967. Lennon used it in a video for Hello, Goodbye later that year. After playing the guitar, Lennon gave it as a 25th birthday present to Alexis "Magic Alex" Mardas, a member of The Beatles' inner circle in the 1960s.

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toxinwing · 3 years

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Well, that was indeed a Monaco race! Not the most exciting, but not exactly boring I’d say. A perfectly reasonable race.

So then, congrats to the podium finishers, Max, Carlos, and Lando! All kept their heads down and made sure to not make any mistakes. Not much else to say there.

Well done to the rest of the top ten finishers, too! Checo was pretty close to Lando at the end there and, if it was any track other than Monaco, he probably could’ve gotten a good few passing opportunities. Seb got a great finish today, all the way up in fifth after getting a neat pass on Pierre. And Pierre was able to keep Lewis behind him, even after the pitstops. Lewis made the most of a kinda meh day for Mercedes, Lance thankfully didn’t catch that potential penalty, and Esteban and Antonio round out the top ten, both getting a good couple of points for their teams.

Good job to the rest of the race finishers, as well! In order they were Kimi, Dan, Nando, George, Nicholas, Yuki, Mazepin, and Mick. I will admit, I wasn’t paying as much attention to the backmarkers this race, but I’m sure they did the whole racing thing as well as they could. I was either distracted by other stuff going on with me (chatting with parents about corner names and the history of Monaco, to name a few things :P ) or distracted by stuff that happened in the race. Speaking of which...

Tough luck for the two drivers who didn’t get to see the checkered flag. Charles didn’t even get to start the race due to a broken driveshaft that wasn’t able to be fixed before lights out. And Val ran into that nasty issue with his wheel simply not coming off during his pitstop. A real rough one for him. Hoping for a bit of better luck for both next time out.

Next time out, by the by, will be in two weeks time in Azerbaijan. Another street track and another track with some quite narrow areas of the track. But we do get some nice, long straights as well and there’s a bit of a short history of uh...interesting races coming out of there. So something to look forward to!

So, until then, that’s my liveblogging done. Hope y’all have a lovely rest of your day. Later!

#Nick Liveblogs F1 #Monaco GP

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freenewstoday · 3 years

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New Post has been published on https://freenews.today/2021/03/28/bahrain-grand-prix-hamilton-holds-off-verstappen-to-win-thrilling-f1-season-opener/

Bahrain Grand Prix: Hamilton holds off Verstappen to win thrilling F1 season opener

In a nail-biting finale, Verstappen’s car looked to have the speed to secure his 12th grand prix win and in the closing stages the Dutchman did briefly take the lead, only to hand it back to Hamilton after running wide off the track.

“Amazing job guys,” said Hamilton, talking to the Mercedes team radio. “I’m so grateful. Everybody back in the factory … working so hard. I know we weren’t quick enough but we managed to do it.”

Bidding to win a record eighth world title, Hamilton appears to have a real fight on his hands given the speed of Verstappen’s Red Bull car.

“It’s of course a shame, but you also have to see the positive,” Verstappen told Sky Sports. “We’re putting the fight on to them (Mercedes), so it’s great to start the year like that.”

Hamilton’s Mercedes teammate Valtteri Bottas finished third, though he was 37 seconds adrift.

“I’m disappointed with how it went,” said Bottas. “Lewis and I had different strategies today — from my side things could have been better.”

READ: Hamilton has ‘spoken to Bahrain officials’ about human rights issues

Seesaw race

This was Hamilton’s 96th grand prix win and his first season-opening victory since 2015.

“Max was all over me right at the end, but just managed to hold him off, one of most difficult races I have had for a while,” said Hamilton.

The opening lap had to be halted within a minute after Russian Nikita Mazepin, who was making his F1 debut, crashed his Haas car into the barriers at Turn Three.

In last season’s Bahrain GP, Romain Grosjean’s car burst into flames after going into the barriers at the same corner on the opening lap.

The Frenchman’s Haas car split in half from the force of hitting the race barriers and was enveloped in flames, before Grosjean made a miraculous escape.

READ: How Romain Grosjean’s family inspired him as he was engulfed by flames

Verstappen had started in pole, but with the Dutchman and Hamilton each twice pitting the race seesawed until the very end.

Lap 53 proved pivotal to Verstappen finishing second. According to the Formula1.com website by putting all four wheels over the white line when overtaking Hamiton, the Dutchman had violated track limits and was told to let Hamilton retake the lead.

READ: ‘Hopefully I’m back as a better driver,’ says Fernando Alonso

F1 great Michael Schumacher’s son Mick, who was making his F1 debut, finished last in the Haas, while Fernando Alonso had to retire after his Alpine car suffered brake failure and engine problems.

Sergio Perez got Formula1.com website’s vote as driver of the day after the Mexican racer finished fifth after he had started the grand prix from the pit lane due to a technical problem with his car on the formation lap.

The F1 season’s second race is the Emilia Romagna Grand Prix at Imola in Italy on April 16.

Source

#Bahrain Grand Prix: Lewis Hamilton holds off Max Verstappen to win thrilling F1 season opener - CNN #motorsport

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f1 · 2 years

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FP3: Perez leads Red Bull 1-2 in final practice session of the season at Yas Marina

Red Bull’s Sergio Perez led team mate Max Verstappen in the final practice session of 2022 where drivers encountered a number of issues in the Abu Dhabi heat. Perez led 30 minutes into the session on medium compounds as the soft-shod Mercedes traded top spot with him, but the Mexican driver emerged on soft tyres for his qualifying simulation with 15 minutes left and consolidated his position with a time of 1m 24.982s. Verstappen finished 0.152s off the pace having run wide at Turns 5 and 16. READ MORE: Binotto ‘pretty relaxed’ over ‘speculation with no foundations’ regarding his Ferrari future Halfway into the session, a red flag was brought out to recover a piece of debris that had flown off the front-right wheel of Pierre Gasly’s AlphaTauri and landed on the exit kerb of Turn 9. Lewis Hamilton is under investigation for failing to slow and passing another car as the red flag was deployed but the seven-time champion finished third and just over two-tenths off the pace, with Mercedes team mate George Russell another two tenths off in P4. Before that red flag Lando Norris’s McLaren sprung a front-right brake fire and Sebastian Vettel reported a similar problem a few minutes later. Norris continued to finish fifth, his team mate Daniel Ricciardo eighth, while Vettel took ninth. Between the McLarens were the Ferraris of Carlos Sainz in P6 and an audibly unhappy Charles Leclerc in P7 – that pair split by 0.001s. Alex Albon had a near miss with Norris at Turn 8 with 20 minutes left but the Williams driver went on to round out the top 10 ahead of Alpine pair Esteban Ocon (P11) and Fernando Alonso (P12), who were split by 0.003s. READ MORE: Wolff says Abu Dhabi sits in the middle of Mercedes’ ‘table of doom’ forecast as he assesses chances of victory repeat Yuki Tsunoda took 13th for AlphaTauri with his team mate Gasly 15th after that wheel issue, with Valtteri Bottas splitting the pair for Alfa Romeo. Haas were next in the order as Kevin Magnussen took 17th and Mick Schumacher 18th, leaving Zhou Guanyu and Nicholas Latifi rounding out the order. via Formula 1 News https://www.formula1.com

#F1 #FP3: Perez leads Red Bull 1-2 in final practice session of the season at Yas Marina #Formula 1

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sknews7 · 4 years

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WATCH | The incredible sound of a V10 F1 car: on-board Schumacher’s F2004, driven by his son

• Ferrari accomplished its 1000th Grand Prix at Mugello.

• The milestone was achieved at a monitor owned by the corporate within the hills of Tuscany.

• Michael Schumacher’s son, Mick, drove his father’s title-winning 2004 automotive earlier than the race.

Ferrari did not enable their below performing automobiles to decrease the importance of their 1000th Grand Prix. They invited members of the Ferrari motorsport membership to attend the weekend’s race at Mugello, and had seven-time Method 1 champion Michael Schumacher’s 2004 automotive on monitor.

The F2004 was pushed by Schumacher’s son Mick to mark the event. The F2004 is the automotive the German drove to his seventh and final championship title. In 2013 he suffered critical head accidents in a snowboarding accident in Switzerland.

Driving his father’s championship-winning automotive wasn’t the one motion of Mugello for Mick, he completed fifth in his F2 race earlier on Sunday, sufficient to see him change into the factors chief within the championship.

Mick is a Ferrari academy driver, and has reportedly been linked with a transfer as much as F1.

The on-board footage of Mick driving his father’s automotive is sufficient to give anybody, with a contact of petrol in your veins, goosebumps. The V10 engine sings to a pink line of 18 300r/min and produces between 630kW and 750kW. The automotive weighs simply 605 kilograms and is 4.5 metres lengthy, and constituted of moulded carbon fibre and honeycomb composite construction.

The automotive’s designers are Ross Brawn, Rory Byrne, Aldo Costa and John Iley. The F2004 was totally dominant in 2004, it gained 15 out of the 20 races together with 30 podium positions and 12 pole positions.

Schumacher’s workforce mate Rubens Barrichello gained two races within the season and completed on the rostrum 14 occasions.

However final Sunday belonged to Mick Schumacher, replete within the burgundy overalls that the workforce’s primary drivers additionally wore to commemorate the workforce’s first GP in 1950.

A closing thought on the video is that the V10 engine is the very essence of the game, and whereas the evolution of energy models sees the game powered by turbocharged hybrid engines, it does really feel good to listen to the V10 once more.

KEEP UPDATED on the latest Wheels news by subscribing to our FREE newsletter.

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#newspaper news covid media photography coronavirus instagram art magazine india journalis

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ranger-of-estel · 7 years

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A Legend Returns Chapter 3

Leonard guides the team through the job at the museum, but nothing ever goes quite like expected. And when his nightmares return, he goes to the one person who can ground him.

Read it on AO3

Alexa

Leonard watches the city stream by as Sara moves across the rooftops. Mick is riding the motorcycle he’d taken earlier, and Ray has flown ahead to disable the surveillance. “Remember Sara,” Leonard glances from the live feed to where Gideon has pulled up a map. “The museum’s system may be down, but the building across the street also has cameras.”

“Got it,” she replies, dropping into an alley a couple blocks out and then darting through the shadows.

“Raymond?” he drawls.

“Ready to override the camera feed on your mark.” He replies cheerfully.

“Mick?”

“Good as soon as Captain knocks the system down.” He replies gruffly.

“Alright,” he glances as the feed, Sara hesitating just outside of the furthest camera. “Now Ray,” She doesn’t wait for confirmation before darting forward.

She easily cracks the lock on the security box, adjusting so the camera is pointed toward the now exposed wiring. “Len?”

“You’re going to pull the first and fifth wires out.” He doublechecks the image against his outline. “leave the fifth one out, then touch the exposed end of the first one to the place the wires feed into the wall. It will create a surge and the system will reboot.” He motions to the box, “You’ll have a little under six seconds to get through the door before the alarm will be functional again.”

“Alright,” he can hear the smile in her voice. “Here goes, three, two,” she hangs out the wires, “One,” there’s a spark as the wire comes into contact with the metal, and then she’s slammed the box shut and is through the back door. “Mick?” she asks before Len.

“Inside,” he replies shortly.

“On my way to meet you guys!” Ray jumps in.

Len is again left with nothing more than watching through Sara’s camera as she moves to the second floor where the amulet is displayed. He is amazed with how little the feed jerks about, a testament to Sara’s grace and fluidity. He watches as Raymond grows to his normal size, sees a glimpse of Mick keeping watch when Sara turns. He glances at the timer in the top corner of Gideon’s display. “You have three minutes and twenty-two seconds until the next guard passes.”

“Let’s do this,” Ray replies enthusiastically. The angle of the lens keeps him from seeing much of the actual swap. He can see Sara’s hands on the glass, a thin beam of light from Ray’s suit hitting the locking mechanism and then a flurry of movement as the amulet is replaced by the replica.

“You ready to get us out of here?” Sara’s voice breaks the silence around him, and he can see Mick once more as she approaches the other man.

“Take a –”

He’s cut off by Jax’s voice and the sound of shouting in the background. “Guys, we’ve got company.”

Leonard hears Sara swear, “Get the civilians out of the area.”

“Already working on it,” Nate replies.

“Mick, Ray,” Sara’s voice has dropped, “Alexa.”

Len’s head jerks up at the word, but before he can comment Mick replies. “Got it.” And takes off with Raymond hot on his heels.

“Len,” Sara’s moving again as well, “I need you to get me onto the roof.”

That’s not the plan…not even close. But he doubts she’s without reason, “Take the next left.” He instructs, “Then there will be a door on your right. It’s a break room that cuts across to the stairs.” As she nears the door he adds, “you’ll need the security card.”

“Thanks,” he watches her move, waits until she’s reached the stairwell to continue.

“Because it’s a converted house there is no direct roof access, you’ll have to take the balcony.” He thinks back to the previous day. “There was a release at the top and bottom of the doors, you should be able to slip out without breaking the glass.”

She follows his instructions, making quick work of the lock and then swinging onto the roof. As she moves to the far side he sees lights flashing, moving down the road at top speed. “You two out?” she asks, slipping into the trees.

“Yeah,” Mick’s voice replies first.

“Going to help the others,” Ray jumps in next, “You get the medallion back to the ship.”

“Try not to destroy the whole city,” He can hear that almost smile in her tone. “Rip?”

“Already on it Miss Lance.” Rip speaks for the first time, reminding Len of his presence. He hears the others communicating, discussing location and strategy. But knows he can be of no assistance to them. After a couple minutes of silence the former captain turns to him, “They’ll be quite alright I assure you.” He shakes his head, “They’ve become something rather impressive in our absence.” Len isn’t exactly sure how to respond, so he remains silent. His own mind still processing all the information, and how little he’d actually done.

Sara’s voice reaches the room moments before she does, “Split up and get back to the ship. I’d rather not have another face off against their ships.” She sits the medallion on the table, then moves toward the captain’s chair, glancing back to Len and Rip. “I’d strap in boys.”

They do, and as soon as the others are on board Sara takes off, slipping them into the timestream without any obstacles. The moment they are safe the room breaks out in cheers and shouts; Nate and Ray highfive, and he catches Amaya lifting onto her toes to press a kiss to his partners cheek. Sara’s patting Jefferson on the back while Stein pulls Rip aside. While no one is brushing him off, Leonard feels very much on the outside. He slips away; missing both his partners frown, and the disappointment in Sara’s eyes as she looks around and finds him missing.

Leonard looks up at the sound of the doors opening, finding Sara leaning against the door frame with two bottles in hand. “We missed you in the galley.”

“I find that doubtful,” he slips a bookmark between the pages and sets the book beside him on the bed. Motioning her into the room with his head.

“We did though.” She approaches, offering him a beer, which he accepts. “This was your victor too.”

“We both know that’s not true,” he shifts, making room for her next to him. “Though I did wonder, Alexa?”

She offers an almost smile, drawing his attention to the silver band on her finger as she spins it absently. “A standard back up plan for when things don’t go as planned.” She shrugged, “Seemed fitting.”

“You have Mick set something on fire as your plan B?” he asks, one brow raising.

“He set off the smoke alarms and sprinkler system, maybe singed the ceiling. At the same time Ray triggered one of the alarms.” She takes the open spot next to him, knees pulled up so she can sit facing him. “Maestro has no aversion to violence, but doesn’t want to fight his way through large crowds and security either. It’s the best way to prevent casualties.”

“And here I thought you just wanted the attention.” He smirks, “Not bad Canary.”

She smiles, then tilts her head. “Maybe next time you’ll come with us, show us how to improve?”

“We’ll see,” he replies, “But in the meantime.” He reaches over, pulling their stack of cards from the shelf and holds them between them. “If you’re not busy?”

Her eyes light up, though she keeps her expression mostly neutral. “I think I can make a little time.”

Soon they are both on the floor. Leonard sitting with his back to the bed, Sara stretched out on the floor across from him. “So, why haven’t you captured Maestro yet?” he asks, beginning dealing the cards between them.

“Right now he isn’t causing any real damage, but he does make it a lot easier to pinpoint potentially dangerous items before they cause issues.” She replies with a small shrug.

“Letting your enemy do all of your leg work,” he’s smirking again

“Exactly,” she places a card between them, “And once he stops being useful, or becomes a greater risk. Then we catch him.”

They fall into silence for several minutes, each of them focusing more on the game. Leonard finds himself relaxing; for a moment everything is back to how it used to be. No Oculus, no Legion or Time Masters. Just a Crook and Assassin playing cards to pass the time.

Several more turns pass before Sara speaks again, her tone light. “Ray intends to add you to the meal and chore wheel soon.”

“Chore wheel?” He looks at her skeptically. “When did Boyscout turn into mother hen?”

Sara chuckles, “When he was without his suit for a while. He spent a lot of time on the ship while we were on missions.” She looks up, amusement in her eyes. “He even started packing us lunches.”

“What happened to his suit?” Leonard asks, drawing a card.

“Nate had to destroy it in feudal Japan,” she shakes her head, “We couldn’t replace it until we got back to 2017 again.”

“Mick said something about going back…teaming up with Scarlet and your friend with the bow?” He replies.

“Fighting the Aliens, yeah.” She’s smirking. He just lifts a brow, and she recount the story as they continue to play. Answering his occasional question until, all to soon, she’s bidding him goodnight. “Amaya is more morning person, I should get back before she’s asleep and I have to avoid injury.”

He scoffs, “Like she could hurt you,” he gathers the cards, “Goodnight Sara.”

“Night Len,” she smiles, then steps into the hall once more.

The next day is slow. Jefferson has made several dozen muffins of varying types for breakfast. After which he claims something in the engine room needs maintenance. Raymond, and Nate are both ecstatic to go experiment with the amulet, which garners less concern than Len believes it should. Sara heads to the study, intending to map Maestro’s next move. Mick grabs a six pack from the fridge, telling Leonard that he’ll be in his room watching old movies if Len would like to join him.

He considers, but in the end opts for having Gideon update him on what he has missed while away from the team. A task that fills the day, and cuts into a portion of the next one. Over the following days he finds himself talking with the rest of the crew more, getting to know the new kids as well as catching up with the originals. And while Nate reminds him of a less useful Raymond, Amaya has stubbornness and fire that he respects.

Ray animatedly recalls their visit to Camelot, referencing Sara as Lancelot with very clear indications about the Lady Guinevere. Mick fills him in further about the zombie incident, and he notes the professor shudder at the word. Jax talks about the moon landing, and Mick’s singing, which gains more than a little amusement. Even Stein is pleased to recall his time impersonating a great musician. He hears stories about dinosaurs, the mob, and Sara insisting that Queen Anne had seduced her. He meets Axel; and while complaining about the uncleanness of rats he finds a smile tugging at his lips as his partner shows the tricks he’s taught the little creature. Sara still meets him to play cards most evenings, and he spends the hours he cannot sleep upgrading his coldgun.

“Did you really think you could sneak around me Leo?” Lewis sneers.

“I came, escorted by Chronos, just like you asked!” he replies, gaze shifting to the armored figure next to the left. “Where is Lisa?”

“In her room, where she will be staying.” He replies.

“We had an agreement, Lisa’s freedom in return for my surrender.” He growls.

“Except, you didn’t really intend to stay did you?” Lewis motions to Chronos, who steps into the other room before pushing a bound and gagged Sara to her knees between them.

“Sara!” the word is out before he can stop it, forcing his voice and expression neutral. “What about her?”

“I caught her on the edge of the property while you snuck around in here.” He bends down, raising her with a hand against her collar. “Shame really, she’s a pretty girl.”

“Let her go,” Len warns.

“Or what Leo?” Lewis looks at him, “I still have Lisa, do you really want to risk her life?”

Sara is looking at him, tears shimmering in her eyes. But it’s not pain, not hurt or anger he sees in them. It’s regret, it’s the way she looks as if she’s let him down, and it tears him apart. “Let Sara go, and I give you my word, no more tricks.”

“I’m afraid it’s too late for that,” There’s a sickening crack, and Sara crumples to the floor.

Leonard wakes with a jerk, heart racing as he fights the sheets away from his body. The nightmare, the memory of that prison the Legion had put him in, terrifyingly vivid still weeks after his rescue. He goes to the shower, leaning against the wall as the water runs down his back, reminding himself that he’s awake, that it was all an illusion. But he can’t shake the image of her empty eyes, of cradling Sara’s lifeless body in his arms.

So once he’s dressed he turns to leave, intending to locate her just to settle his mind. Before he can do so the door opens, Sara stopping only half a step from walking into him. “Oh…hey,” she looks tired, uneasy even.

“Hey,” he responds, head tilting slightly, “Can I help you?”

She nods, “I wanted to run something by you,” she motions above them, “Gideon said you were still up.” She looks at him curiously, “If you aren’t otherwise occupied.”

He steps to the side, offering her space to walk in. She enters, moving to sit on the floor with her back against the bed while he leans back onto the small desk. “What is it?”

“I’m not having any luck finding Maestro’s next mark, and I know that everyone is tired of being cooped up.” She shrugs, “I was thinking about taking us back to 2017 for a couple days, just so everyone can unwind.”

“And you’re asking me?” he frowns

“I’ve done the whole dead, not dead thing…it took some time before I was ready to face my family and friends.” She shrugs, “I just don’t want you to feel like I’m forcing you to face them if you don’t want to.”

“I’m fine,” he shrugs, arms crossing over his chest. “I was meaning to ask you about taking the jump ship to visit Lisa anyway.”

“Jump ship’s gone.” She leans her head back against the bed. “Rip took it.”

“Where’s Hunter going?” he frowns.

She shrugs, “Didn’t say, just that we didn’t need him anymore.”

“Wait,” Leonard’s arms fall back to his sides, “You mean he quit?”

She offers a crooked smile, “I doubt that’s the way he’d have worded it.”

“Well he’s hardly here to defend himself,” he moves to sit down next to her, “But he’s got one thing right.” He glances sideways at her, “You are perfectly capable of running this ship.”

“You feeling alright?” she frowns, reaching up to touch the back of her hand to his head.

“Mr. Snart is perfectly healthy, though he did –”

“Gideon,” he warns, then looks at Sara.

“That’s better,” she smirks, “For a second there I thought you’d gone soft on me.”

He scoffs, “It would take a lot more than dying to change me that much Birdie.” They both pause as he finishes, Sara looking in surprise as he kicks himself for letting the nickname slip. It had been a term somewhere between flirting and endearment before the Oculus.

She must see his concern, rising to her feet and skimming the bookshelf until she finds the pack of cards. “Up for a game Len?” He just nods, and they both settle into the familiar pattern again. They’ve just gotten through the second round when she begins to yawn, “I should turn in, there will be a few extra things to do tomorrow with Rip gone.”

“Stay.” He reaches out, grabbing her wrist as she begins to rise. He releases her just as quickly, sighing as he rises to his feet beside her. “It’s early morning by now, and you’ve already said your roommate doesn’t like being disturbed.” He’s looking at something past her shoulder, but he’s dug himself this far he may as well finish. “Not like we’ve never shared this bed.”

He watches her consider, opening her mouth as if to answer then just offering a small smile. “Alright, but don’t go getting any ideas Crook.”

He smirks, “Wouldn’t dream of it Assassin.”

Without asking permission she goes to his dresser, grabbing one of the larger sweaters before disappearing into the bathroom. By the time she returns the lights are dimmed and he has the cards put away. She crawls into the bed, and he slips in beside her. They begin with their back’s to one another, but before long he can feel her face nestling between his shoulders, fingers playing with the material of his shirt.

His skin feels like a live wire wherever she touches. He’s always been hyper-aware of this much contact, but it makes him less uncomfortable with Sara. In fact it’s the most relaxed he’s felt since his return. It’s not long before she drifts off, breath warm through the material of his shirt and of on her hands draping over his side. He never dreamed he would miss contact like this, miss the warmth of another person. But he does; and he allows himself to be lulled into sleep by faint feeling of her heartbeat pressed against his back.

Chapter 2 (x) Chapter 4 (x)

#Captain Canary #A Legend Returns #Leonard Snart #Sara Lance #legends of tomorrow #Chapter 3 #My fic #Alexa

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agentmarymargaretskitz · 7 years

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If you're still taking OTP asks: 4 and 20 for Captain Canary, 29 for Raily, 7 for Whouffaldi. Thank you! :D

4. Who likes to walk around the house naked and who tells the other to go put some clothes on? Sara is absolutely the one who walks around naked when it’s just her and Leonard. He’ll tell her to put clothes on though only if it’s hella cold and she’d walking around in next to nothing.

20. Who falls asleep in the others lap and who carries them to bed? They’re both actually guilty of it. Sometimes the other carries them to bed, but most of the time they just fall asleep together on the couch.

29. Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires? How is this even a Raily question? We have R A Y P A L M E R. The man who had an entire restaurant reserved for the most awkward double date with fifth-wheeling Barry ever. He absolutely pulls some crazy stunt and inevitably injures himself. So Lily winds up driving him to the emergency room. Sometimes Mick ends up tagging along to tell Haircut how stupid of a plan it was, he already knows Lily loves her idiot boyfriend.

7) Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”? Clara said ‘I love you’ first- Orient Express much ;). But Twelve definitely ends an argument with ‘I love you’ because he’s lost Clara once, he won’t let it happen again.

#incendiaglacies #ask box #legends of tomorrow #ray x lily #raily #captain canary #whouffaldi #meme

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wallpaperpainting · 4 years

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torentialtribute · 5 years

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Paul Pogba is not Cristiano Ronaldo – so don’t treat him like he is

Depending on your information service, Paul Pogba is either agitating for a move to Real Madrid or agitating to have his salary doubled at Manchester United . Either way, he is a problem that needs sorting.

And, without a doubt, he has looked better under Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. Better, yes – but twice as good as the player Manchester United thought they had captured when he signed?

Hardly. Pogba was considered the type of midfield powerhouse who could propel United to the title under Jose Mourinho .

Paul Pogba's future at Manchester United is, once again, under growing scrutiny

As it stands, even with the Solskjaer-inspired resurgence, United are still in a fight to make it into the Champions League next season. And while it would be wrong to lay the blame solely at Pogba's feet, equally, it does not sound like the level of return that merits an escalation to £ 460,000 a week.

That is the figure being mentioned to secure Pogba's next contract, which probably means it is the figure he has been told he could earn with Real Madrid. Maybe he could get even more, if he publicly flirts with the idea or signing for longer at Old Trafford. He wouldn't be the first.

Yet is he worth it? Does anything we have seen from Pogba so far suggest he should be rewarded in this way? He is having a good second half of the season.

Yet any Footballer of the Year shortlist would have to burn through a page or more of names before alighting on his. And for close to £ 2m each month isn't that what Manchester United should be getting? The best. More influential than Virgil van Dijk, improving faster than Raheem Sterling, more valuable to his team than Eden Hazard. A player at the pinnacle of his game. Is that Pogba? Not yet, it isn't.

Pogba scored twice at the weekend as United recorded a 2-1 victory over West Ham

It's not Alexis Sanchez either, yet his salary that has set the benchmark for wages at Old Trafford, his arrival that sent the rest of the squad scuttling to their agents for renegotiations.

Yet Sanchez has not proved worth his wage, so why should United feel compiled to make the same mistake twice? They cannot continue to be the club that is panicked into costly maneuvers. Maybe it's time Ed Woodward tried calling a few bluffs

If Real Madrid because Pogba, and Pogba's people think he's a £ 460,000 player, then ask for a fee apposite to his status. Because Pogba isn't Cristiano Ronaldo. When United loses Ronaldo they must have feared coming up against him in the Champions League again.

And those fears proved correct. Ronaldo has won the Champions League four times since the left, Manchester United zero. Nor have they defeated Real Madrid in their three meetings since Ronaldo changed sides.

And in the two games he started, he scored. Is that what we could expect from Pogba in opposition? Would he change the dynamic at his new club? Would he leave United among Europe's also-rans?

He would have been a different player to the one we have seen; one capable of the odd moment of devastation such as the killer passes against Tottenham and West Ham, but also periods of anonymity.

Pogba was excellent as Manchester United got used to a record-breaking run that got Solskjaer his permanent gig , but he also played every minute as United lost four games in five against Arsenal, Barcelona and Wolves, twice.

His prolific scoring run also came to an end until Saturday's penalties. The last score from open play on February 18, against Chelsea in the FA Cup.

Pogba improved under Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's guidance but is he worth his wage demands?

And he's an excellent player. Nothing here denies that. What must be judged whether he is a player worth £ 460,000 a week to Manchester United, when there can be no guarantee he will not become detached or inconsistent, as certainly seemed to happen when Mourinho was in charge.

Since the talk of Madrid ground – which Pogba has done little to discourage – it could just be argued his form has already suffered.

It's the biggest call of the summer: to keep Pogba happy or let him become Real Madrid's latest expensive problem.

Woods called on spirit of Seve

Seve Ballesteros hated being called the car-park champion. It was one of the reasons he took such pleasure in sticking it to America in the Ryder Cup. He thought the tag disrespectful. Actually, it was the opposite.

Ballesteros's recovery from near the wheels of a black Ford Cortina at Royal Lytham in 1979 was the mark of a true champion. Golf is a game of yardages and precision. Most of the shots professionals have been calculated and practiced a thousand times.

It is what they do when this comfort zone reveals their true nature. Ballesteros was a genius around a golf course; so is Tiger Woods. His putt on the ninth green at Augusta was the encapsulation of greatness. Like Ballesteros in the car park, the shot was the result of an error.

Tiger Woods won the Masters on Sunday for the fifth time in his phenomenal career

Woods hit to a dreadful part of the green, 80 feet shy of the pin, putting downhill across two level changes and a sideslope. Every time the ball rolled down towards another small plateau it would gather speed. It looked impossible to control. So this was not the type of putt any professional would have practiced, because no professional would envisage ending up in such an alien corner.

It would be like practicing hacking out from underneath a gorse bush – or from the members' car park. That stuff isn't meant to happen. Nobody gave Woods a chance. It was a three-putt for sure. Woods hit it 12-foot.

To clarify: the putt traveled much farther, but the momentum from Woods's putter carried no more than 12 feet. Gravity did the rest. He left it as close as he could without it dropping. And he played many holes more perfectly than the ninth; but it was what he did to escape from trouble, his improvisation, his feel, that set him apart.

Nearly 20 years ago, I sat at the back of the 17th at St Andrews on the third day of the Open, to write a piece about the iconic Road hole and how the professionals dealt with this unique challenge. It was a bad idea.

Unless they were in trouble, most came in exactly the same way. Until the final group, a ball arrived from an entirely different route, took a line that had yet to be explored and ended up just perfect. Tiger Woods.

Those moments of inspiration are when you see the man.

Barton's a thug … who would've thought it?

Let's call it the Brexit effect. A treacherous path is chosen, sensible warnings are made against it, those warnings are proven accurate, but those who made the decision continue in denial of reality.

Think back to 2016. A no-deal Brexit was never on the agenda. "The free trade deal that we want to have with the European Union should be one of the easiest in human history," said Liam Fox. He didn't mention crashing out as option one. Crashing out was not on the menu.

Now it is what this gaggle of incompetents because people to believe was voted for, rather than admit they got it wrong. That was resigning from the EU, as predicted, a precarious, complicated process. That it would leave the country poorer, and the poorest regions facing crisis.

Joey Barton faces allegations of serious assault after an incident with Barnsley's Daniel Stendel

Fleetwood Town are standing by Joey Barton, who is expected to be interviewed by South Yorkshire Police this week about an allegation of serious assault. Of course they are – to suspend or fail to support him pending investigation, would imply chairman Andy Pilley was completely wrong when he put his club in the stewardship of a violent thug.

And Pilley does not want to admit he was wrong, so he stands by his man, even though that man may have left Barnsley's manager looking for his teeth in the tunnel.

Meanwhile, at Ipswich, fans are jubilant having been relegated to League One less than halfway through April. They have to be.

Otherwise they must admit that, in the circumstances and given the budgetary restrictions, Mick McCarthy was doing a superb job keeping the club free of relegation trouble, and if the football was less than expansive, it was necessary to survive

Instead, they made his life a misery and the quit. The managers that have succeeded him, Paul Hurst and Paul Lambert, have won a grand total of four games in all competitions this season.

McCarthy won more than that between August 5 and August 19, in his final campaign. He won 17 games in total before walking out, prematurely, with a 1-0 win over Barnsley. Yet to display unhappiness at an upcoming fixture list that may include trips to Scunthorpe and Rochdale next season would, in many cases, involve admitting being misguidedly harsh on McCarthy.

And in our post-truth, post-referendum age , that would never do. So no deal was always the aim, Barton is perfect for Fleetwood and McCarthy did a rotten job not getting Ipswich relegated.

Everybody's happy.

Vunipola's view can't be a shock to England

There is a movie, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert that pretty much sums up our rosy take on minorities. Three drag queens head off on a tour of the Australian outback, encountering bigotry, homophobia and transphobia as they go.

That is, or course, until they meet an Aborigine community, where they are welcomed and understood. You see, the Aborigines have experienced prejudice, too. They see through the painted exteriors, and recognize the humanity within.

Not at all like the real world then. The world in which Muslim parents are appalled that homosexuality remains part of sex education classes and, in 2013, about half the gay Jamaicans responding to a national survey said they had been the victims of homophobic violence.

Billy Vunipola was warned for controversial social media comments in support of Israel Folau

Perhaps this is why English society is so troubled by Billy Vunipola.

We want the benefits of those with a Pacific Island heritage, because they have physical characteristics that are made for modern rugby; we just don't want to think or feel like Pacific Islanders, because that offends our sensibilities. That way we can keep our new colonialism palatable.

Israel Folau, born in New South Wales to Tongan parents, said some offensively unpleasant things about homosexuals going to hell.

His view may be archaic and wrong, but these are not entirely uncommon beliefs among religious fundamentalists or various faiths. As he will not desist from speaking out, however, it may cost Folau his career.

Vunipola, whose Tongan mother is also a Methodist minister, expressed his support, and has placed his career in jeopardy, too. Channel 4 have dropped him from promotional duties, and he will be summoned for questioning by the RFU.

Strange that Vunipola's reactionary references appear to have tasks his employers by surprise. Who would have imagined a player with Pacific Island blood, might hold views consistent with aspects of Christianity practiced in those territories?

Israel Folau's comments about homosexuals going to hell is likely to cost him his career

Why couldn't Vunipola just be built like them, but think like us? There's a good boy.

Now, it could be argued that as Vunipola has lived his life in the west he should have embraced the progressive virtues of tolerance.

Yet beliefs are a choice; culture is a choice. Just as it was our choice to adopt an Australian, with Pacific Island heritage and put him in an England shirt.

And now we vilify him because he's not like us?

Palace have wasted a season

Once again, faced with superior opposition, Crystal Palace only tried to win the game having lost it.

At Tottenham, they were 2-0 down before getting on the front foot late, and delivering several scares; against Manchester City, the same scoreline sparked life and Palace actually pulled a goal back before being caught by a counter-attack.

Yet this isn't a weak squad. It is potentially a match for any of the six teams above them in the Premier League table, yet too often they go out to play with minimum ambition.

Crystal Palace had a wasted season with Roy Hodgson employing such cautious tactics

Leicester are seventh, but Palace have been home and away this season. They have beaten Wolves away, too. If Palace lose Wilfried Zaha and Aaron Wan-Bissaka this summer, Roy Hodgson's caution may be justifiable.

This season, however, has been a waste.

Going into Monday night's fixture, the league table stated that Tottenham are as far off the top two as Leicester are away from the top six: 16 points.

Whatever mitigations for two transfer windows passing without investment, it cannot be said to have worked.

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