#mhajules

[mental-health-advice]

I just had the worst panic attack I've ever had. I just started scratching my whole body a lot and kinda hyperventilating. I've never experienced this before, I think I've had small short anxiety attacks but I'm not sure. I think the cause was that I saw a bed bug last night and when I stepped in the shower I started thinking about it. I used to have a really bad bed bug problem and I used to scratch my skin off because of it. Do you have any information or anything to help me?

Hey hun, 

I am sorry you went through that, it sounds very stressful and unsettling. I am glad you reached out to us. 

I want to start off by saying that I know panic attacks can be really uncomfortable and frightening. And sometimes during a panic attack your brain can convince you that you’re dying, and that can be overwhelming, so I do want to say that even though it might truly feel that way while it’s happening, try to reassure yourself that that’s just your brain convincing yourself of that, but it is not actually the case. 

When it comes to coping with or calming down from anxiety or panic attacks, different things work for different people, so you’ll probably have to try a few things out to find what works best for you. However, breathing exercises are often helpful, so I will go through one with you right now. 

For this one, I ask you to sit or lay down comfortably and put your hands on your stomach. After you’re do that, feel free to close your eyes if that helps you relax more and inhale deeply for 4 seconds through your nose (while focusing on how your stomach is expanding), hold it for 4 seconds and then exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds (while focusing on how your stomach is deflating). Keep doing that, over and over again, for as long as you need. 

Something else, that can be very helpful, are grounding techniques. Again, different things work for different people, but my favorite one is usually called the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 grounding exercise, and it goes like this: 

name 5 things you can see (notice their shape, color, what they are for…) 

then, name 4 things you can touch (notice how it feels, the temperature, the texture…) 

name 3 things you can hear (you can snap your fingers or clap your hands, or something like that, to count as one sound if needed, but try to focus on each sound and figure out where it is coming from…) 

now, name 2 things you can smell (it can be your clothes, your hair, your recently washed hands, and try to figure out what it smells like and why it smells like that, what kind of smell it is…) 

finally, name 1 thing you can taste (you can get some food or gum for this one, or a beverage, or even brush your teeth or focus on the temperature of a glass of water instead) 

There are so many other grounding techniques you can try, we have a page on that here.

Mindfulness can also be very helpful, and there are apps that can help with that, the ones I know are Headspace and Insight Timer, and although both have paid features, you can download both apps for free and there are free mindfulness features in both of them. We also have a page on mindfulness here if you want to learn more about what it is and how it can help. 

And, if you want more ideas on how to cope, we have a page concerning how to calm yourself from anxiety and/or panic attacks here. This page has a lot of suggestions on how to deal with anxiety and panic attacks, and can be very enlightening as well. 

I also want to point out that scratching can be a form of self harm if it’s done with the purpose of hurting yourself, so if that’s the case, here are some helpful links you can check: 

we have a page explaining more about what is self harm here.

we also have a page with alternatives to self harm here.

there’s a page of distractions here.

and also, a page with reasons not to harm yourself right here.

Lastly, I do have to say we are not professionals so unfortunately we can’t help as much as professionals can. So if it’s a possibility for you, I always recommend getting professional help. We have a page about getting helping here if you want to know more about it.

Please feel free to reach out to us again anytime. 

I really hope this helps at least a bit, you deserve the best, be safe. 

Jules

#mhajules #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #panic attacks #anxiety

[mental-health-advice]

Any advice on stopping cutting (self harm) I’m really struggling, I’ve tried drawing on myself but this doesn’t work.

Hey hun, 

I’m sorry you’ve been struggling so much, I am glad you reached out to us. 

Firstly, I want to tell you that we have a page on self harm (click here) in which we go through self-help ideas, how professional help can help and so many other topics that can be very helpful for someone struggling with cutting. 

I also want you to know that different things work for different people, so it’s not unusual to have to try different alternatives/coping mechanisms until you find the ones that work best for you. 

With that being said, I’m going to go through some coping mechanisms you can try to use. I want to say I believe it’s helpful if you make a list of all the ones that work for you, whether the list has 2 or 15 alternatives, so it’s easier for you to know what you can do when you’re struggling. 

So, if you want to self harm because you’re feeling angry, some good alternatives are: 

going for a run 

writing your feelings down on a piece of paper and then ripping it apart as many times as you want/need

getting a pen or a marker and just scribbling onto a paper as hard and as much as you need (be careful with the surface underneath the paper for this one)

If you feel sad, some good alternatives are: 

watch your favorite tv show or movie 

watch funny videos on YouTube 

treat yourself with something you like to eat

If you’re wanting to physically feel something, some good alternatives are: 

holding ice in your hands until it melts

take a cold shower or a cold bath 

drink really cold water 

There are more alternatives for different situations, I got most of these from this website (they have more if you want to check). But I also recommend you take a look on our list of alternatives here and are list of distractions here as those could be extremely helpful as well. 

In addition to that, I’d recommend you to check our “reasons not to self harm” page here. 

One other suggestion is, to make it harder for you to give in to the urges, throwing away what you use to harm yourself with can be very helpful. However, I do have to say this is often a really hard step to take so it’s better to do that with support, so on that note, is there any friend or family member you could open up with about this and maybe ask for help? 

Lastly, I also need to tell you that we are not professionals, so unfortunately we can’t help as much as they can, so I recommend you seek professional help if that’s something you can do. Here is our page on getting help. 

Please feel free to reach out to us again anytime. 

I really hope this helps at least a bit, you deserve the best, be safe.

Jules

#mhajules #mental health advice #mental health #advice #advice blog #self harm #anonymous #cutting

[mental-health-advice]

I'm not depressed- but I have two friends who are. I've grown to have this tendency. Every time they say they are feeling a bit down or mention their actual diagnosis, I get an urge to cut myself. It's hard to explain, but I want for them to hurt ME instead of themselves. been told that I try too hard to solve other people's problems, but I doubt that's true as I've speculated that I have very narcassistic tendencies. A couple nights ago I actually did it and theres now a bunch of cuts? Help????

Hey hun, 

I am sorry you’re struggling so much, I am glad you reached out to us. 

I want to start off by saying we do have a page on self harm here, where we go through ways to help yourself, ways to help a loved one and questions such as “why do people self harm?”, so that could be helpful if you are willing to look into it. 

Different things work for different people, so it is often needed to try more than one thing before you figure out what works best for you but I will go through some coping mechanisms you can use to help yourself to stop hurting yourself. 

Also, I do want to say as much as you want to help your friends, it’s probably better to put yourself first and take care of yourself, because it’s way harder to help anyone if you’re also struggling badly. Also, do you know if they are getting some sort of professional help? That can be very helpful in treating depression and also self harm and the struggles you’re having. Here is a page on getting help that can be very helpful if you want to get help, and you can also send the link to your friends so they can also work on getting help. Unfortunately, we are not professionals and can’t help as much as a professional can, so I really encourage you and your friends to check the page.

Now, for the coping mechanisms you can use to deal with the urges to self harm, there are some alternatives you can try, I will give you some examples: 

free write (write down whatever you’re thinking at that moment, even if it makes no sense)

draw on yourself

hold ice

watch a favorite tv show or movie

watch funny videos on YouTube

I got those here and there are so many more there (for when you’re angry, or for when you’re sad, when you’re scared). We also have a great page on our blog with alternatives to self harm here. 

Distractions can also be helpful when you want to hurt yourself, a few distractions you can try are: 

take a hot bath or shower 

sing along to your favorite songs

start learning a new language

call a friend (you can talk about anything, you don’t need to talk about the urges if you don’t want to)

color-coordinate your wardrobe 

I got these on our page for distractions here, and there are so many more if you want to check it out (including a list of helpful and distracting sites under the “Games/Apps/Websites”category).

I’m also going to give you the link for our “reasons not to self harm” page here as it can be very helpful, especially in finding motivation to resist the urges, I’d also recommend you to try to make your own list of reasons not to self harm so you can also have that resource.

Lastly, I want to give you the link for the page we have with number of helplines all over the world (here) and for the page we have with web counseling resources all over the world (here), as those can also be amazing resources when you or a friend is struggling. 

Please feel free to reach out to us again anytime.

I really hope this helps at least a bit, you deserve the best, be safe. 

Jules

#mhajules #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #helping friends #self harm #anonymous #depression #cutting

[mental-health-advice]

I feel embarrassed of feeling jealous of my friends. I see lots of posts celebration my friends’ birthdays on Instagram and Snapchat. But when it’s my birthday nobody seems to remember or care to celebrate it. It’s not that I consider birthdays super important, but every year it’s the greatest reminder of the fact that I don’t matter to people around me. Those celebrating posts are so happy and intend no harm ofc so I think I’m ugly for thinking that way. What can I do to get rid of this idea?

Hey hun, 

I am sorry you’re struggling with that, it sounds upsetting and hurtful. I’m really glad you reached out to us. I want to start off by saying that any and every feeling is valid so there’s nothing wrong with feeling jealous of your friends or having those thoughts. 

Although you said you don’t consider birthdays super important, it seems like you want to at least get a message from close friends, because if you don’t it makes you upset, right? Have you thought about reaching out to your friends and telling them about that? These are just guesses, and I could be wrong, but maybe they don’t make a big thing out of your birthday because you might have expressed at some point that you don’t consider it super important, so they don’t want to upset you by making a big deal out of it. Or maybe they are so caught up in their lives and maybe you don’t have your birthday public in any social media, so they are not reminded of it. These are just a few things to consider as possibilities. I would really recommend you to talk to your friends about it if that’s something you think you could do. 

Other than talking to people around you about how you feel/about this idea, I’d definitely recommend you to try to tell yourself some positive affirmations whenever you start having thoughts like “I don’t matter to people around me”. That could mean searching in your brain for proofs that you do matter to people around you, or just reassuring yourself that you matter to a lot of people even if you don’t feel like it. It’s not an easy thing, and you might not truly believe it at first but just try to keep reassuring yourself and fighting against the negative thoughts with positive thoughts. 

I do want to say that different things work for different people, so you might have to experiment different things until you find what makes you feel better and what works for you. But one idea is searching on the web or just on Tumblr for positive affirmations and trying them out when negative or self-deprecating thoughts come your way. 

Mindfulness could also be helpful to get your focus out of that thinking pattern and feeling less overwhelmed by it. Two apps for that that I know about and recommend are Headspace and Insight Timer, they are both free but they do offer in-app purchases. However, they both have free mindfulness exercises and guided meditation. Also, we have a page on mindfulness, talking about what it is and how it can be helpful and other things, if you want to give it a look just click here. 

Lastly, distractions can also be helpful in moments like that because it also allows you to focus on something else, we also have a page on distractions here with ideas on how to distract yourself if that’s something you’re interested in.

Please feel free to reach out to us again anytime. 

I really hope this helps at least a bit, you deserve the best, be safe. 

Jules

#mhajules #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #birthdays #birthday

[mental-health-advice]

Hello! I am here wondering how to deal with trauma. Firstly, I experience depersonalization almost every day (it’s basically an out of body experience where I feel like I’m watching myself while floating above myself, I feel like a robot, like my thoughts and emotions aren’t mine) and I was wondering if I could get any advice on how to deal and cope with this as well as flashbacks from my childhood about my abusive parents. Thank you :) - Jules

Hey Jules!

We have the same name, I think that’s pretty cool :) I see you’ve been struggling lately and I want to help you. First of all, I want to say you sound like a really strong person, I’m really sorry you’ve been through that, you definitely didn’t deserve it. 

I want to make sure you’re safe so if you haven’t done that yet, do you think it’d be possible to look into getting out of that abusive household? It’s always something that is important to consider, maybe another family member or a friend could help you with that. Or if you have a job, you might be able to try to save money so you can afford somewhere else to stay.

Also, do you have a support system at all? This is really important, even if it’s made out of online friends. It can be helpful to try to make a list of everyone in your support system so you can make use of it, and if you feel like you don’t really have a support system, you can try to build one. Maybe you can even try looking into group chats here on Tumblr as a start. You don’t have to go through anything on your own. 

Now, based on what you described you feel, I believe you’d benefit from grounding exercises, they could help you cope! I don’t know if you have ever tried one but I will go through one with you. But before I do so, I want you to keep in mind that different techniques help different people so here is a list of other grounding exercises so you can try and find what works best for you.

So, for this one, I need you to look around and name 5 things you can see, try to pay attention to their shape, to their color and what they are used for. 

Then I need you to touch 4 things, paying attention to the texture, their color, what it’s for, how it feels to touch it, is it warm or cold? Is it soft or hard? Really focus on the sensation. 

Now, please try to pay attention to 3 sounds, it can help to close your eyes and really focus, it can be anything too, you can even clap your hands or snap your fingers or knock on something and make that count as a sound, just focus on the sound a little bit and pay attention to where it’s coming from, is it a pleasant sound? Is it a loud sound? 

After you’re done with that, try to find 2 things you can smell, it can be anything. Maybe your hair smells like something, or your clothes smell like perfume, or maybe your hands smell like hand sanitizer or soap… Really focus on it for a minute, do you like this smell? Is it sweet? Is it a strong smell? Do you know why it smells like that? 

And lastly, one thing you can taste! This one can be a little tougher but just getting some food, or some gum, or even any beverage can help make this one possible. What does it taste like? Is it sweet? Is it cold? Really focus on that and try to gather as much information about that taste for a minute. 

You can repeat this exercise as many times as needed. It’s usually called the 54321 grounding technique! 

Another thing that could be helpful in your situation is practicing mindfulness. It can help you stay more present and there are apps that help with that, the one I know about, and that a lot of people I know use, is called HeadSpace and it is a free app and it allows in-app purchases but it offers a few mindfulness exercises for free. That’s also something you could consider trying. Here is a link we have about mindfulness so you can learn more about it, including some mindfulness activities. 

I do need to say that psychotherapy is one of the best resources to dealing and working through childhood trauma, and since we are not professionals we can’t help as much as a trained therapist can. So if that’s an option for you, at all, I’d recommend you to look into it and give it a try. Here is a link we have on getting help, that can also be helpful to check out. 

I really hope this helps at least a bit, you deserve the best, be safe. 

Jules 

#mhajules #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #jules #childhood abuse #depersonalization #trauma #flashbacks

[mental-health-advice]

Introduction Post

Hey there! My name is Jules and I'm a new blog admin here at MHA.

I'm 20 years old, I'm a bisexual cisgender female and I'm fascinated by the human brain and behavior. I'm joining this awesome blog with the hopes to be able to help all of you in the best way that I can!

Looking forward to hearing about your feelings, thoughts and struggles and hopefully help you live a better and happier life in some way! 

#mhajules #introduction post #new admin