#men are more likely to get custody if the mother accuses him of child abuse | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vouam · 23 days

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just found this guy’s answer to a question on quora (“is misandry a problem in the US?” or something of that nature) and was wondering what your reaction to it would be. there are some points i wouldn’t be sure how to refute, though it’s certainly not enough to change my radfem beliefs lol. i’ll copy and paste it since i can’t send ss in anon

Q:“is misandry prevalent in today’s society?”

A:“I would say so.

Woman: doesn't want a child so she secretly aborts it.

Man: doesn't want a child and is forced to pay child support for 18 years while being ridiculed as a dead beat dad

Woman: my body, my choice

Man: has his genitals forcibly mutilated for no good reason at birth

Woman: free drinks at the club on ladies night

Man: there is no men's night. Drink prices increase to cover all the free drinks ladies get

Woman: oh please keep yourself safe

Man: forced to sign up for selective services (a.k.a. draft) at 18.

Woman: complains about low paying job

Men: 67% of work place injuries happen to men, 93% of work place fatalities happen to men. No one bats an eye

Woman: mostly automatically given custody of children no matter what

Men: you can see your children on the weekend only and pay for child support

Man: simply accused of abusing a woman and goes straight to jail.

Woman: beats the man senseless and if the man defends himself goes to jail. If he doesn't defend himself he still might go to jail or if he is lucky police will tell him to quit making a big deal about it. Has 1 place in the country to go to for sheltering battered men despite the fact that women are the perpetrators of domestic violence some 40% of the time. Woman, have countless battered women shelters to go to.

Man: gets raped by woman at gun point being forced to give oral sex and held captive for days. Society has a good laugh

Woman: gets raped and her perpetrator is rightfully punished. No one is laughing about it. Woman gets psychological help and all kinds of assistance from society. Also if she makes false accusations of rape, ruining a man's life, no one says a thing about it and she is free to go on accusing.

Men: penalties for the same crime as women are much longer sentences.

Men: comprise 60 some % of homeless population

Men: comprise of a majority of suicides

I could go on but it's only going to anger the feminazis more and more”

reading crap like this makes me so mad tbh, like i understand moids don’t have easy lives just because they’re moids but GOOD FUCKING GRIEF it’s like they just can’t fucking get enough of acting like society wasn’t built by men for men. 🙏🙏 sorry it just gets me upset. anyway love ur blog!!

Oooof this is a really great ask so thank you for sending this in! I guess I’ll approach this by answering each one individually (although I might repeat myself)

Men pay child support while women can just have an abotion

This is a very strange argument. Because firstly not every country has fully legal abortions. 47 countries only allow it for health reasons, 43 to save the mother’s life and 22 it is fully illegal. A lot of men like this seem to forget that there are other countries on this planet. I’d personally rather be the gender that has to pay child support for an unwanted baby. Even in the case of legal abortions, abortions are not easy to go through. It is mentally very difficult and can be an invasive procedure. Women are shamed for having abortions in every country, even the most ‘accepting’ places.

Circumcision

I am very against circumcision and this was probably his most valid point(?) But his point excludes the fact that FGM is practiced in many countries and cultures. And while male circumcision is usually done for religious reasons claiming its ‘hygienic’ and has little to no bad side effects while FGM can kill women and girls, and is done for far more malicious reasons that I can’t even begin to describe.

Men’s drinks night

Does he know the implications of what ‘buying a woman a drink’ means?? Yeah, I’d much rather be a man in this situation 😭

Drafted at 18

I am against anyone being drafted, and I’m against any military work period. But men made this rule because they deem men to be brave and strong - a stereotype designed to benefit them.

Work place injuries and fatalities

Most injuries and fatalities happen with manual labour, construction/factory work etc. Same stereotype as listed in the point before this.

Custody over children

Again, this happens due to a stereotype that benefits men. Women are ‘better parents/nurturing’ while men are not and should go out there and work and achieve their goals while women stay at home. Literally designed to benefit men. Also, a lot of men view the custody struggle as a privilege because they cannot be bothered to be fathers.

Going to prison because of a simple accusation and less abuse shelters for men

This is the craziest point because men do not go to prison over some random accusation pulled out from thin air. In order to accuse someone of abuse, you need extensive indisputable evidence. Even then, the police will not take it seriously or the defence will win the case for whatever reason. These are the hardest crimes to prove in a court and the statistics show this. Less abuse shelters for men because they are far FAR less likely to be a victim. Yes, its’s sad but this literally proves misogyny is a thing rather than misandry - because I know damn well which sex I’d rather be in this instance.

People laugh at male rape victims and women are given full support/legal justice

I addressed this in the previous point. Women are ridiculed and not believed/not given justice at an extremely higher rate than men.

Longer male prison sentences

Same stereotype that I’ve said before about being stronger/braver vs weak/nurturing. The stereotype was made to benefit them. Also this ignores that a lot of the time there are other aspects to a crime that result in a higher sentence given. For example 1st degree murder done for financial motive vs sexual motive.

Larger male homeless population and male suicide rate

I guess this is more of a question of why men are more likely to be homeless or commit suicide. Make suicide rate studies suggest it’s harder for men to admit mental health struggles/reach out for help. Again, it’s sad but the strong brave stereotype was designed to benefit them, like I’ve said before. Permanent homelessness is largely due to addiction, mental health, childhood poverty, financial crisis, loss of relationships to family/partner. These can all happen to women, except a lot of the female homeless population are trafficked, resort to prostitution, enter abusive relationships to escape the streets. In a lot of countries, people seem to think its 99% men that are homeless, but its usually not. You just typically only see male homeless people sitting/sleeping on the street in public spaces - that’s a more terrifying place for a woman to be compared to a man.

—

I guess this guy’s main problems is that he:

- Thinks USA/Europe/western countries are the only places that exist

- Can’t see that bad things that happen to men are actually a result of stereotypes designed to benefit the male population

- Makes up statistics in his head that aren’t true

- Has a crazy victim complex

- Can’t see that the women’s position in his scenario is actually worse

I hope this helps with any future debates and refutes! And I hope I explained myself well enough 😭

#radblr #radical feminism #misogyny #misandry

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lastsonlost · 4 years

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These women have dedicated their lives to addressing a crisis of masculinity

Some have academic backgrounds or at first campaigned for women's rights

They believe society has developed a creeping antipathy towards all things male

So who are they — and what are the issues they are fighting on men's behalf?

The gender pay gap. The lack of women in top jobs. The #MeToo movement and the exploitation and abuse it exposed. There is a damning list of evidence that the fight for equal opportunities and rights for women is far from over.

This makes it all the more surprising that a small but increasingly vocal band of women is fighting for justice — not for women, but for men.

These women have dedicated their lives to addressing what they see as a crisis of masculinity and the unfair treatment of men by society.

They come from academic backgrounds or began campaigning for women's rights before focusing on problems of the other sex.

Of course, it is not the case that women's advancement can come only at the expense of men. And no one could deny women still face huge obstacles on the road to equality.

But the campaigners believe that in its attempts to rectify historical wrongs towards women, society has developed a creeping antipathy towards all things male, and this is knocking men's confidence at a time of intense cultural shift.

They fear that many men and boys are neglected, ignored and excluded. This, they say, is why men's mental health problems are on the rise. Suicide is now the biggest killer of UK men under 45.

Some of their views are highly controversial, and some activists have been accused of ignoring the harm done to women by men, or excusing it.

So who are these women, why on earth are they doing this — and what are the issues they are fighting on men's behalf?

COURTS PUNISH MEN – AND KIDS LOSE OUT

Alison Bushell, 57, from Suffolk, runs a social work consultancy.

Britain's family courts are engaged in practices that separate fathers from their children, knowingly or not, Alison believes. She says: 'The pressure groups springing up, some of which are advising the Ministry of Justice on domestic violence cases, have an anti-male agenda.'

In 20 years as a statutory social worker she saw a lack of effort to keep families together and an 'airbrushing out' of many dads.

'I see fathers marginalised and excluded from their kids' lives,' she says, 'while mothers are supported by out-of-date gendered views of parenting within the courts, and health and social services.'

And so, she believes, custody of children is often automatically given to women even when that isn't in a child's best interests.

'False allegations are more prevalent than people realise and supervision orders disproportionately happen to fathers.'

Every day, Alison gets calls from men who haven't seen their kids for up to five years. 'Having lost contact with their children, such men sometimes turn to alcohol or drugs out of sheer desperation.

'More become depressed. I had a client who took his own life. I believe the allegations against him were a major contributing factor.'

Alison has faced several complaints of bias while representing — largely male — clients in court, but none has been upheld.

Disillusioned and concerned to highlight these inequities, she left statutory social work ten years ago to set up consultancy, Child and Family Solutions. The agency works with families going through bitter separations, and carries out assessments for the Family Court and local authorities.

She has also worked with male domestic abuse victims. 'It has given me huge respect for those daring to speak out, because there is so little help available. It is a national scandal that so few refuge places are available for men.'

In England there were more than 3,600 beds in safe houses for women in 2017, but just 20 for men. The charity ManKind Initiative, which Alison supports, has told her that only 36 of 163 beds now available in refuges or safe houses are earmarked for men.

'Since Office for National Statistics figures state that 40 per cent or more victims of domestic abuse are men, this is alarming.

'When will people realise that holding on to a gendered narrative in domestic abuse is harmful?'

As for gender politics, Alison admits she has performed a volte-face. 'In the 80s I spent time at Greenham Common and lived in a women-only house. I even had a badge declaring 'a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle'. How times change.

'I can now be found reading [neoconservative author] Douglas Murray or listening to a talk by [Right-wing psychologist] Jordan Peterson.'

WHY I'M FIGHTING FEMINISM

Belinda Brown, 54, is a social anthropologist and co-founder of Men For Tomorrow. A widow with two children, she lives in London.

When she met her second husband, social scientist Geoff Dench — known as the architect of the socially conservative Blue Labour movement — Belinda's activism was ignited.

Together they set up Men for Tomorrow to research male problems — and fight against what they saw as a tendency to 'neglect or ignore issues affecting men'.

Shortly after their 2009 marriage, however, Geoff was diagnosed with a rare brain disease, progressive supranuclear palsy. He died on June 24 last year, aged 77. Belinda nursed him until the end.

She plans to continue his work by exposing what she sees as a deliberate attempt by feminist activists to undermine the traditional family unit.

She writes and speaks on a range of topics concerning men for platforms such as The Conservative Woman website, and carries out research aimed at reinforcing 'traditional' values.

As an anthropologist, she learned about feminism during her studies, but disagreed with much of what she heard.

'I was always aware of my own power and the power of other women,' she says. 'While I knew there were injustices which needed rectifying, today I see more injustices afflicting men.

'Most men work extremely hard to provide for their families, often at considerable cost to themselves. For women to ignore these sacrifices and instead blame men for all the problems in the world, it's divisive and damaging to gender cohesion.'

Belinda has worked for homeless charity Shelter, where like Alison Bushell she was shocked by the high proportion of men she saw.

'Almost all the rough sleepers were men and family breakdown was the reason so many were without homes,' she says.

'During divorce settlements it was always the wives who gained ownership of the house, leaving husbands stranded.'

According to charity Homeless Link, today 84 per cent of the homeless are men, and their average age at death is just 44, half the average male lifespan. She also draws a correlation between the current epidemic of gang-related knife crime and the rise in fatherlessness. Most of the offenders, she says, come from broken homes, according to her research.

As for the future of gender relations, she has this to say: 'I hope one day soon feminism will be seen as an interesting period of history, but one which caused tremendous damage to society.'

BOYS NEED MORE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT

Sonia Shaljean, 49, founded award-winning community interest company, Lads Need Dads. Married with three teenage sons, she lives in Essex.

Sonia has observed men at their lowest ebb during her 20-plus years as a substance misuse counsellor and anger management specialist within the fields of alcohol, drugs, criminal justice and homelessness.

'I was struck by how many of those men had grown up either without a father or with an abusive or unsupportive dad,' she says. So she founded not-for-profit Lads Needs Dads in 2015, with an initial grant of just £4,000.

The organisation has a team of trained male mentors, who encourage emotional intelligence in boys aged 11-15 with absent fathers. It also provides opportunities for youngsters to take part in outdoor activities, learn practical life skills and volunteer in the community.

She believes it helps to have a woman at the helm. 'If it were a man leading an all-male organisation, it could possibly be disregarded by some women.

'Our aim at Lads Need Dads is to provide support, guidance and encouragement — and a much-needed male voice to enable boys to open up.

'It's so rewarding to watch boys' self-esteem, emotional stability and motivation grow. They perform much better at school, too, as well as having improved relationships at home.'

According to the Centre for Social Justice, 1.1 million young people have little or no contact with their fathers, while 2.7 million live in lone parent families.

In his book The Boy Crisis, Dr Warren Farrell explains how fatherless boys, and to a lesser extent girls, tend to have less empathy and are more likely to break the law. According to a Unicef report on the wellbeing of children in economically advanced nations, including the UK, 85 per cent of youths in prison have an absent father.

Sonia was keenly interested in the link between fatherlessness and offending, in part because she started her career in a civilian role at the Metropolitan Police, where she managed a Community Safety Unit and helped refer victims and perpetrators to the right services.

Later she worked for the charity Refuge, setting up two women's refuges in South East London alongside volunteering on a national helpline for a men's charity that provided therapeutic programmes for men wanting to change their behaviour.

Sonia is keen to point out that not all boys growing up without a father end up as a statistic, saying: 'Other protective factors come into play, such as encouraging boys to join clubs and take part in sports, where they can find positive male role models.

'We aren't here to replace fathers. In fact our programmes have reunited many boys with their dads after years of absence.'

FATHERS PAY THE PRICE IN DIVORCE

Stacey Camille Alexander-Harriss, 41, a family support worker and children's novelist, moved to the UK from America ten years ago after meeting her English husband online. He's a City finance director and they live in Ilford with their two dogs.

A former Art and French teacher, Stacey now works supervising contact between fathers and their children after family breakdown, at Alison Bushell's agency.

'We tend to work more with dads than mums, as they seem to be the ones who have difficulty retaining a relationship with children after divorce and frequently become depressed in the custody battle.'

She believes this is the result of systemic inequalities and a bias towards mothers. 'Women hold all the power, especially when it comes to custody.

'It's unfair that dads have to pay for all the legal costs, paying people like Alison to advocate.

'Often men with good jobs from affluent backgrounds end up taking out loans. Even if you win you spend so much on this insane game.

'When mothers notice there is a maternal bias they realise they can say whatever they like about their ex. I've heard accusations of terrorism just to get custody. It's so ugly. And when mothers refuse to seek help for their emotional problems they tend to place the blame on men.'

Her books deal with troubled families — Myrtle Takes Tea, published under the pseudonym Alexander Stacey, is about a lonely nine year old with mean teachers and parents with money problems. All that matters to her is her prized toy rabbit Earl Grey.

Stacey thinks setting an example is a way to heal these injuries and help families.

'All the tools I use in my work are drawn from examples set by my own parents who were loving, strong and wise. My father was an orthopaedic surgeon and he and my mother were married for 40 patient years until they both passed away. I try to teach fathers about the importance of discipline, responsibility, self-reliance and confidence.'

I HAD DEATH THREATS - AND A BOMB SCARE

Erin Pizzey, 80, founded women's charity Refuge. She is now a patron of the charity Families Need Fathers. She lives in South London and is divorced with two children.

'I'm all for equality of the sexes,' Erin Pizzey says.

'But equality isn't the endgame for those feminists who believe women would be far better off without men.'

This may sound odd coming from the founder of the first women's refuge.

It's nearly 50 years since, aged 32 and with two young children, she set up The Chiswick Women's Refuge as a place 'where women could meet and use our talents'.

'Both my parents were violent and my mother beat me,' she says. 'So when the first battered woman came through the door and said 'no one will help me', I knew what she meant.'

The London house became women's charity Refuge — and led to the creation of hundreds more women's refuges. And yet Erin became a pariah, as she insisted many female victims were also violent.

'Of the first 100 women who came into my refuge, 62 were as violent or more violent than the men they had left,' she says.

'Therefore, domestic violence can't be a gender issue, it can't be just men, because we girls are just as badly affected.'

She became a hate figure for saying so. 'They branded me a 'victim blamer'. 'After a bomb scare, the police suggested my post be sent to them for inspection.'

In the Seventies, she tried to set up a refuge for men, with little success. 'The rich men who were willing to fund my projects for women refused to give any money to male victims.' Now she works with Families Need Fathers and is a patron of The ManKind Initiative, a charity which supports male domestic violence victims.

The subject may be becoming less taboo. Police in England and Wales recorded nearly 150,000 instances of domestic violence to men in 2017, more than double those in 2012 — which in part reflects a greater willingness to report problems.

The 2018 Crime Survey for England and Wales recorded that 7.9 per cent of women (1.3 million) and 4.2 per cent of men (695,000) have suffered domestic abuse.

It is women who are far more likely to be victims of extreme violence. Government figures show, for example, that 73 per cent of victims of domestic homicides from 2014 to 2017 were women, while most killers were male.

This leaves male victims in a difficult situation, which Erin is working to address. She says: 'I am fighting for my son, my grandsons and my great grandsons, so that they might have a future where men are no longer demonised.'

The War On Masculinity by James Innes-Smith will be published by Little Brown in spring 2020.

#the women demonised championing mens rights

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yinyangswings · 4 years

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L&L Single Parent AU

So I was kind of inspired by @musicfeedsmysoul12 headcanon of the Love & Legends MC being a single mother. As I also like that AU I decided to give it a go. I tried to keep it as different as I could to @musicfeedsmysoul12‘s which is here.

It’s a bit long so I’m placing them in the Read Below

August Falke

The kid is a shy and quiet five year old bio daughter of MC, and is incredibly mature for her age. The father was abusive towards both of them, and MC managed to leave.

It was after a particularly bad beating where MC realized that if she didn’t leave, she probably wouldn’t live much longer and she would be damned if she was going to leave her daughter in the hands of that man.

She basically blackmails him with the threat of going to the police to get him to leave them both alone.

Sophie is protective of the girl and babysits when MC has to do multiple shifts for work.

August is still initially suspicious of MC, and still very angry and argumentative with her over it. He doesn’t have as hard of time letting go of the idea of MC being the Witch Queen, because of her daughter.

However she takes a lot longer to trust him because of the anger and suspicion.

When MC ran away after the whole ice crystal incident, all the little girl saw in her mind was Mommy running away from Daddy.

It takes her a lot longer to trust August after all this and she is pretty much glued to her mother’s side, and never really lets any of them out of her sight when alone with her mother.

She was a shield for her mother back in Chicago, she’ll be her mother’s shield now.

She does her best to keep away from him for a little while in season 2, even after her mother reconciles with August, much to his confusion and concern.

August is aghast when MC explains the reasons for her daughter’s behavior around and general distrust of him.

The very idea of someone laying a hand on either MC or the little girl makes him sick. Even at his angriest he wouldn’t have dreamed of channeling his anger into hitting either of them.

With her permission he tells the others, and she’s honestly surprised and relieved with the reactions.

They all make sure both mother and daughter are alright and know they are willing to listen if they need to talk.

The kid winds up making a connection (and reconciling) with August due to her love of horses. The two obsess over horses which amuses MC. She begins to come out of her shell because of this, though she is still generally shy.

In general she follows Solaire and Ryland around the castle when not following her mother. But she begins to open up to the others after a little while. Her favorite person to stay with is Saerys. He has no problem teasing the others that he’s the favorite.

Reiner is a close second and it takes very little persuasion to convince him to teach her how to play the piano

August is extremely protective of MC and the girl, even more so after MC tells him of the abuse. Almost vicious, especially when he goes to Chicago and they run into the father. It’s really only because MC is there that stops August from beating the man into a pulp.

She calls August ‘papa’ when they are visiting the Falke Inn during Season 3

He’s surprised to say the least and has some explaining to do with his mother.

MC tells him later that she can ask her daughter to not call him that if it makes him feel uncomfortable, but he reassures her it doesn’t.

The little girl isn’t with August and MC when MC is sent back to Chicago. So she’s quite startled and scared when August is brought in injured, and her mother is nowhere to be found.

She barely leaves August’s side and tries to be as helpful as she can. When her mother comes back, she is pretty much glued to her side.

When the WQ’s curse begins to affect her, MC practically begs August to take care of her daughter, panicking at the idea of leaving her alone. August tells her that there was no way he would leave the girl alone and he would raise the girl if MC doesn’t survive.

He does also swear to MC he will do anything in his power to make sure she doesn’t die.

August’s parents find her adorable and Asta absolutely dotes on her. As far as she’s concerned, she’s the girl’s grandmother now and becomes that . Bayard takes a little bit longer to warm up to the girl, in part of her shyness around other men, but eventually he grows close with her.

August’s sisters become incredibly protective of her. Especially Heloise.

August asks the little girl if he can marry MC first, because her comfort is just as important to him as MC.

When he and MC talk about having other kids, August is quick to assure her that he sees the girl as his own daughter as well.

Saerys

The kid is the adopted 8 year old daughter of MC. MC had been dating her father when he was killed in an accident when she was 5. Her mother didn’t want custody of her because she had started a new family, so MC took her in.

The kid at first doesn’t like Saerys, due to her bio mom choosing her new family over her and fearing that MC would abandon her too if she winds up getting a family with Saerys.

Especially when Saerys runs away and MC runs after him to try and convince him to come back. MC tells her that she would have come back, but it takes a few days for her to forgive her.

In season 3 while in Chicago, they run into bio mom who basically ignores her right in front of her new family at the coffee shop.

It just breaks the kid and she just storms off, which leads to a frantic search from both MC and Saerys. It’s Saerys who finds her in a park.

It does lead to a heart-to-heart conversation between the two, and Saerys promises that he wouldn’t ever make MC choose between either of them and that as far as he’s concerned, she’s his daughter. Her mother didn’t know what she was losing.

It’s Season 4 where she starts calling both MC and Saerys Mom and Dad. Saerys is stunned, but MC just smiles. It’s a very happy day for them.

Saerys in turbo mode never attacks the girl, and is incredibly protective of her in that mode.

They don’t tell her right away about what happened to MC with having half of Saerys’s soul. MC does tell her a few days after just so she doesn’t find out by other means. The girl understandably freaks out, though is more freaked out that MC died than the soul part. She likes Saerys more because of that.

The demon souls don’t know what to make of her. On the one hand a child. On the other hand it’s not her biological child. MC is not pleased by this.

Saerys is protective of her and MC, like extremely protective of them. That little girl begins to learn self-defense from Saerys.

He begins to teach the girl the demon language. He has to try really hard to not laugh when she says curse words in demon language and try to scold her when MC figures it out.

Initially she’s scared of Saerys’s Demon God Mode, but she gets used to it.

She’s initially nervous about meeting the other demons, because unlike MC, she doesn’t have any demon connection other than Saerys. After all, just like what the Demon Gods say, she’s not biologically MC’s. Saerys is quick to remind her of the promise made in Chicago.

Altea Bellerose

The kid is the four year bio son of MC. He was conceived via in vitro. His other mom unfortunately died due to an illness, and he doesn’t really remember her because he was so young. All he remembers is Mama being sad for a little while after Mommy left.

At first Altea is still suspicious, because anyone knows that Reiner has a soft spot for protecting children. WQ would totally use that against them. However as she watches them, and she can clearly see MC loves the boy. Something the WQ wouldn’t be able to act out

He is absolutely enthralled by Altea, like full on staring before growing completely excited over Altea’s magic. And begins to ask a lot of questions to MC’s embarrassment.

Altea finds it adorable.

The little boy winds up following Altea wherever she goes as much as possible, though MC tries to distract him as much as she can when Altea is researching in the library so she can read more than two words.

Altea gives the boy the nickname ‘Little Shadow’. It fits.

Altea begins to teach the boy how to speak French and he just loves it.

Being a princess thing was a shock for MC and a big worrying factor for her, because she wondered what that would mean for her and her son. She’s a ‘commoner’ and a single mother. She doubts Altea’s parents would be happy with her or her son.

She’s right.

Altea is protective over him, especially with her parents attitudes towards MC and the boy.

Altea’s parents take a little while to accept MC and the boy, but when they do they become rather attentive grandparents.

Lionel loves the idea of being an uncle

When Altea gains her wings, she and the boy go flying. It’s fun for the kid, but the other retainers and Reiner have to watch as MC nearly has an aneurysm watching the two of them fly around.

Reiner Wolfson

The kid is a seven month old bio daughter of MC. The father, while not physically abusive, was incredibly manipulative towards her but she put up with it. However, when she discovered he was cheating on her, she broke up with him.

She found out a week later she was pregnant. When she told him just so he would know, he first denied the baby being his and accused her of being a cheater, before ultimately saying he wanted nothing to do with the baby.

Reiner (and the other retainers) were just stunned by the infant. They all pretty much become protective from the start.

It’s easier for them to figure out that she isn’t WQ due to the fact that the girl is only a few months old and she’s been gone for several years. And Reiner’s spies would have discovered offspring of the WQ way before this.

Admittedly when they first arrive, they are suspicious. The baby girl does not understand why people hate her mommy initially and just begins bawling when August begins to yell at MC. Cue panicked attempts to get her to calm down before MC manages to do so.

She enjoys teaching Reiner the song of her people on the piano...AKA bashing the piano keys with her tiny hands. MC apologizes multiple times but Reiner just laughs and laughs and says it’s understandable and he’s just happy that she seems to be enjoying herself.

She enjoys listening to Reiner play the piano though, and usually falls asleep listening to it.

When MC gives herself up to the generals, her only thought is that her daughter is safe with Reiner and the others, and she can live with that.

MC’s initially hesitant to get into a relationship due to her daughter’s father and that whole experience with him, though her heart warms whenever she watches Reiner with her daughter

This is even more evident when Reiner asks her to marry him. At first she’s really hesitant, but then sort of realizes that Reiner loves both her and her daughter and accepts

The baby senses something is wrong with her mother in Season 3, and gets fussy a lot easier when being held by her.

Reiner is super protective of her and of MC, especially when they get word that WQ intends to keep her alive and raise her.

Example of this is when Magnus makes a veiled threat in season 2 when the Generals attempt to get MC again that if they cannot have the mother, the daughter will do. Reiner fires an arrow at him so Magnus understands what he would have to deal with if he even attempts that.

Reiner is not a happy man when he finds out about the girl’s father, which is early on in Season 2. It surprises MC quite a bit, but also makes her heart skip a beat.

Ryland absolutely adores her. Almost rivals Reiner in the protective streak.

The baby is in that age range where everything goes into the mouth. It’s cute at first until she starts trying to put Reiner’s arrows into her mouth.

Then cue panic and trying to gingerly get her to release the arrows.

When MC and the baby meet Reiner in Chicago, the baby is so excited to see him, though he doesn’t recognize her. It leads to a lot of confusion on her part, and breaks MC’s heart.

Reiner thankfully takes it in stride (he just assumes the father looked similar to him).

Reiner formally adopts the girl after he and MC marry, making her his heir. They happen to run into the girl’s biological father after the papers are signed. Reiner has some choice words with him, but does thank the man for at least helping create his daughter.

She’s his daughter in his eyes, no matter who disagrees.

He and MC do talk about whether they want another child. They decide that if they do decide to have another child, they will treat and raise both of them with the same amount of love, but there isn’t a rush.

Iseul Idreis

The kid is a three year old adopted son of MC. He’s a very quiet kid and just tends to stare at everything and everyone.

Iseul didn’t want to be the one to watch the both of them. Because children=a lot more responsibility

Iseul initially doesn’t understand what the kid wants when he just stares...and stares...and stares some more at different things, but mainly him.

It’s...actually quite off-putting to start off with.

It takes him a little bit to realize he just stares because he wants to and doesn’t really have anyone his age to hang around.

He gets used to him and eventually begins to understand what the boy wants when he stares at him. MC is there to help him out on that

It’s a slower burn relationship because of Iseul’s hesitance of being responsible for the kid and MC’s hesitance of him and the situation in general.

The two begin to bond through the kids' interest in archery. Like when he and MC watch Iseul training, it is the most interest MC has seen him take in an activity other than being read to.

Eventually Iseul develops a soft spot for the kid

Ishara absolutely adores him. Becomes grandma Ishara pretty quickly.

The rest of Iseul’s family follows suit and his siblings are so protective of him.

He is spoiled so much by Iseul’s family.

It is revealed that he was a test made by the WQ using Magnus and then discarded him, followed swiftly by making MC.

Both Iseul and MC decide to wait until he’s older before telling him this as it would confuse and scare him at this point.

He becomes a very gentle and quiet brother for Iris, who will go to him if she gets annoyed with their parents. He generally leaves her to her own devices, but is the occasional partner-in-crime

Iseul and Ishara fully plan on him drinking from the well as well.

The dragons at first actually scare him...and they learn that he would be the first one killed if a wild animal attacked because he just freezes when he gets startled. He gets used to them, but still.

Helena Klein

The kid is a ten year boy that MC adopted. He is the son of a friend that died. His mother was murdered by his father, and he had no one else. He was unfortunately witness to this, and at the start is mute due to the trauma.

Both MC and Sophie are protective of him, and whenever he has nightmares MC just holds him until he falls back asleep.

When MC and him arrive, he’s understandably terrified, but is then really confused. MC makes an excuse as to why she arrived with a ten year old boy. She doesn’t tell anyone the truth for a little while, though she suspects Helena was figuring it out before she told her.

He begins to develop magical abilities, that they can only assume was because they were sent there. Helena begins to teach, though she is extremely hesitant due to how she learned and was taught by the WQ

Helena is protective of the boy and the boy is actually pretty protective of Helena, especially when he gets the Spark Notes version of the abuse she suffered from the WQ. Like he literally stands in front of Reiner and the retainers when they go to arrest her to protect her.

It’s really hard fro him to come to terms when she forgets everything in Chicago, but tries to help her as much as MC does.

He begins speaking in later seasons, only a little at first but eventually starts talking completely in Season 5

It is a very happy day for MC

He starts calling MC ‘Ma’ and Helena ‘Mom’ in Season 6

Helena begins crying uncontrollably when he calls her that the first time.

When Alain is killed, the boy worries about Helena’s mental state a great deal afterwards, and has flashbacks of when his mother was killed.

Alain Richter

The kid is a one year old bio daughter of MC and the result of a one night stand. MC doesn’t remember much of that night other than she had consented, though it can be considered dubious consent at best (especially if you ask Sophie). She looks exactly like her mother.

She manages to convince the other Generals that she had made this child as an experiment, but does confide in Alain that the girl is biologically hers.

He’s understandably hurt and confused, but she confesses that she really doesn’t remember a whole lot that night.

This opens a completely different can of worms for Alain, who really, really, really wants to kill the man.

Alain winds up adoring this girl. Like he holds her for the first time and MC sees him relax in an instant and his guard goes down just as fast.

The same can be said about the baby, who calms down rather quickly when given to Alain.

Becomes overprotective Papa the moment he sees her.

When WQ learns of the child, she sees the toddler as her own and begins to make plans to take and raise her.

This terrifies MC because of her memories of what WQ has done and she knows she could never let that happen.

MC uses her love for Alain and her daughter to fend off Jinhai’s creatures when they escape.

When his heart is frozen, the girl seems to sense it, leading her to not like being held by him. MC knows he’s truly back when he picks her up, and she giggles, and then hugs him..

She begins crying out of relief which scares the shit out Alain, who fears she’s hurt.

She tells Alain if she doesn’t survive to take care of their daughter in her stead. He at first denies the request, but when she makes it practically an order, he complies, albeit reluctantly.

When they’re in Chicago, they run into the baby’s bio daddy. It does not go over well when the man insults MC in front of Alain, especially when the man mocks the toddler as well.

MC is pretty much convinced that anyone who tries to be in a relationship with their daughter when she’s older is going to have one hell of a fight on their hand.

#lovestruck #lovestruck headcanons #love & legends #reiner wolfson #august falke #iseul idreis #saerys #altea bellerose #alain richter #helena klein #mc #jamfics

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and-then-there-were-n0ne · 4 years

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facts about divorce:

in most (51%) of cases, both parents decided on their own (out of court) that the mother was to receive full custody

in 29% of custody cases, the decision was made without any third party involvement

in 91% of cases, the decision for the mother to have custody was made without court involvement

of those who go to court, 70% of men who seek custody of their child receive it

abusive parents are more likely to seek sole custody than nonviolent ones

of those 70%, at least one-third reportedly committed domestic violence against the mother or the child.

allegations of domestic violence have no demonstrated effect on the rate at which fathers are awarded custody of their children, nor do such allegations affect the rate at which fathers are ordered into supervised visitation

women who mention having been victims of domestic abuse in court are less likely to receive custody of their children than women who didn’t

75 children in the US were murdered between June 2009 and April 2010 by abusive fathers who won custody battles

“For example, A.M. cuts the throat of his eight-year-old daughter as ‘punishment for his ex-wife’ (January 2000). E.P. strangles his eightyear-old son and declares: ‘I wanted to punish my wife’ (May 2002). M.G. strangles his two children (September 2002) and writes to his ex-wife and mother-in-law: ‘I hope your life may be a nightmare and you will live long enough to suffer remorse for this’. R.G. stabs his two children to death (April 2004) and shouts to his ex-wife: ‘I killed them because of you, so you will know what it means to suffer’.” All these articles were published by an Italian national daily newspaper (La Repubblica) or a Trieste daily newspaper (Il Piccolo). In Italy, there have been real massacres (for example, in October 2002 a man whose wife had left him stabbed the whole family: wife, mother-in-law, son and brother-in-law; another killed seven people: ex-wife, mother-in-law, brothers-in-law and neighbours, and killed himself)

contrary to the MRA claim that women make false allegations of abuse to get leverage in divorce/custody cases, evidence shows allegations of abuse are actually rare, and substantiated in most cases. Out of the accusations that were found to be deliberate lies by the courts, most were fabricated by men (21%) vs women (1.3%).

sources: (1) (2)

#divorce #mra #court bias

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mellicose · 4 years

Note

"In Western society, it's becoming quite obvious that woman are the more privileged class" ???????? excuse me???

That's not a direct quote, but, um ... yeah.

We get more attention and opportunities in school, and therefore we are graduating in greater numbers from universities. We are bound to get the job before an equally qualified man. We hold the vast majority of buying power - basically, most adverts are geared to attract us.

We get to play Grrrl Power/Independent Woman, yet it's still a societal norm that if we are hetero, men should still pay the bill, and they are looked down upon if they request a 50/50 split. Also, if *we* offer the split, we can rescind the offer at any time without being judged negatively by society. We can openly admit to having a separate bank account. He, on the other hand, will be crucified as greedy, because "AllMen R Assholes".

If we marry and decide it's over, we get favored in family court, even if we are objectively bad mothers/administrators, or if we were the ones who cheated and broke the marriage. No custody for him. And if he wants sole custody? Oof. He's gonna bankrupt himself, even if he's got proof she's a bad mother, because "AllMen R Terribel Parents".

It's only now that alimony is equal - before, you decide it's over, court still ruled that he still pays your way even of you're an Independent Woman(tm). IE, you get the house. He sleeps in his car. And he has no say because "AllMen R Deadbeats".

Due to changing social mores, it is now considered noble for a man to raise another man's child. Not because the father is dead - simply because the other man left and the poor woman's left in a lurch with nary a mention of irresponsibility on her part. He will discipline, love, and educate the child as his own. If he slips up, he will be judged very harshly. If he's too good, he will be suspected of foul play because "AllMen R Repists". OR, alternatively, the woman will choose a man she damn well knows is bad, willingly expose her children to danger, and when tragedy happens, she remains the primary victim - not the children, because "All Women Deserve To Be Believed. "

Additionally, women doing the same with another woman's children isn't quite so required, and the repercussions for slipping up are far less harsh.[see evil/sexy stepmother trope]

Women are given less jail time than men for the same crime. [See, like, court documents anywhere]

Sexual deviancy toward minors is seen as cool shit when women do it [see commentary beneath any article about a female teacher raping an underaged boy]

In many places, men cannot accuse a woman of rape due to a faulty physiological argument ("If he's hard, it means he wanted it", which is not true - ask any man who has gotten are hard after being frightened, or while sleeping).

They can accuse a man ... but not a woman. That's why there are far, far, FAR too many young men walking around with pain they cannot utter due to abuses perpetrated against them by mothers, aunts, sisters, female cousins and friends. And even if they did, how would the woman who hurt him be prosecuted? And the paralyzing shame after an assault/abuse isn't only a female problem. Men feel it too.

I can go on, and on, and on.

Lately, the zeitgeist is leaning steadily toward a more female-centric consciousness, so I bet these issues are things no woman even thinks about ... unless someone they love is touched by them.

So ... yeah. Unclutch your pearls and open your eyes. Our vaginas ain't magical. Bad women exist.

And we're all out here eating a shit sandwich.

#men and women #relationships #misandry #is almost institutionalized nowadays #let's not destroy the next generation of young men #they quit #civilization breaks down #women are important too of course #but I'm tired of being told how sacred and brilliant and wonderful we are #the people who spout that haven't been to an all girls school 🤣#uglywettie discourse

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tervacious · 5 years

Link

Oh. Oh wow. Okay. [cracks neck] [stretches arms and hands] [loosens fingers]

After the rage has dissipated, after overcoming alcoholism as a coping mechanism, even after a new and beautiful family comes on the scene, a great sadness still persists - and likely always will.

That's the message from men talking about their experiences of abortion, a voice rarely heard among the passionate multitudes in the US abortion debate, though abortion rights supporters argue that this group is an outlier and does not speak for the majority of men involved in an abortion. Currently, the usual male perspectives that feature are legislators pushing to restrict abortion procedures, drawing the ire of pro-choice supporters accusing them of trying to legislate women's bodies. But now would-be fathers denied by abortion are speaking out.

You mispelled “women”. It should read “would-be fathers denied by WOMEN”. That’s what they are mad about. That’s the cause of the rage, alcoholism, and sadness. A woman said NO to them. Not an abortion. Abortion isn’t a free-floating miasma that just randomly takes “fatherhood” away from Teh Menz. A WOMAN said NO.

An Alabama abortion clinic is being sued by a man after his girlfriend aborted their unborn baby - at the six-week stage - against his will in 2017. The case is the first of its kind because the court recognised the man's unborn baby as the plaintiff and the father as the representative of his baby's estate. "I'm here for the men who actually want to have their baby," the man told a local news agency in February. "I just tried to plead with her and plead with her and just talk to her about it and see what I could do. But in the end, there was nothing I could do to change her mind."

Currently in the US, fathers have no legal rights to hinder the abortion of a pregnancy for which they are responsible. State laws requiring that a father be given a say in, or even notified of, an abortion have been struck down by the US Supreme Court.

"I was in my 30s living the good single life in Dallas," says 65-year-old Karl Locker. When a woman he was seeing told him she was pregnant, he says he felt "like one of those wolves with its leg caught in a trap".

Nevertheless, he decided he had to support her - and the pregnancy. "I tried everything, I offered to marry her, to take the baby myself, or to offer it up for adoption," Mr Locker says, explaining that he felt keeping the child would be the right thing to do. "She said she could never give her child up for adoption - it didn't make cognitive sense."

Those women are just hysterical bitches, huh Karl? Not at all trapped by what YOU DID TO HER, no, you’re the trapped one, who just can’t understand the concept that babies don’t materialize by magic, there’s this whole PREGNANCY thing involved. You know, that thing that abortion ends? And then you, Asshole of the First Part, Mr. “I’m here for the men who actually want to HAVE THEIR BABY” what baby are MEN having? Did you mean “force a woman (and in your case a literal girl) to have a baby FOR YOU?” You did, but you’re too busy channeling the actual root of Patriarchy Itself to say it plainly.

In the end he drove the woman to the clinic and paid for the abortion. Afterwards he says he moved to California as he couldn't bear the knowledge of what he'd done.

"I didn't know how I was going to survive; I wasn't going to jump off a bridge, but I probably would have drank myself to death," says Mr Locker, who believes that reconnecting with his faith and starting a family with another woman saved him. "I've thought about what happened every day for the last 32 years."

Wah. Thirty-two years of making something all about you. You’ve already talked too much, and here we have an entire article of your babbling to get through.

Men are usually involved in an abortion in one of four ways, all of which can leave men traumatised when they come to reflect afterwards on their roles, say those running counselling groups for post-abortive men. Sometimes men coerce a woman into having an abortion against her will; others say they will support the woman's decision either way, while steering that decision toward abortion. Some men find out about the abortion for the first time after the fact, or the abortion goes ahead against their wishes.

What polling has occurred indicates that a majority of women say they do not regret having an abortion, but fewer studies have been done on men's reactions. What data there is for men comes from post-abortive support groups, which is dependent on men seeking them out, making it difficult to make any broad statistical observations. But the accounts include commonalities such as feelings of anger, guilt, shame and deep sadness on anniversary dates.

I gather from the actual data that the vast majority of men do not regret women having an abortion, because most men don’t whinge away like the dudes in this article do about the subject. In fact, the vast majority of men support abortion rights and every woman I’ve known who had an abortion did it entirely on her own with no support from the man in question. (Ironically, men ARE responsible for 100% of abortions, given they are the ones who didn’t wrap up their shit and then pull the fuck out, but let’s not get into the weeds about who did what to whom, or who bears the actual burden of pregnancy, and how no man on earth can ever come close to grasping the reality of pushing an entire human out between his legs. We have some serious straight-faced entitled WHINGEING to do.)

"Men are meant to be protectors, so there is a sense of failure - failing to protect the mother and the unborn child, failing to be responsible," says 61-year-old Chuck Raymond, whose 18-year-old girlfriend had an abortion in the late 70s when he was a teenager. "There is incredible guilt and shame about having not done that."

Yeah Chuck, you did fail, spectacularly. Guess what? The thing about failure, even when you’re not the one who bears all the physical rammifications, is that there are fucking consequences. You failed to protect a teenage girlfriend as a teenager yourself, and all you’ve learned is how to bitch about poor widdle you. I wonder what she learned.

Mr Raymond says he thought a child would have interfered with educational plans and his military training at West Point military academy, where cadets are not allowed to be married or be raising children. "Once I was involved in training, I got caught up in everything and suppressed the event, keeping it out of my consciousness. Years later though, I realised that a tragedy had occurred, and we had made a tragic choice."

He likens the mental and emotional anguish that can follow an abortion to battlefield post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

So you pressured a girl into having an abortion so your career wouldn’t be effected, but now you have PTSD and pretend it was because of a tragedy that “occurred”. YOU were the tragedy, my dude. YOU were the tragedy that happened to her.

The Supreme Court's landmark Roe v Wade decision issued on 22 January, 1973, is the best-known case on abortion, for having legalised the procedure across the United States. But two later cases had more of an impact on men, says Allen Parker, president of The Justice Foundation, a conservative law centre in Texas.

After the 1976 Supreme Court decision in Planned Parenthood v Danforth, the father's consent to an abortion was no longer required. In its 1992 Planned Parenthood v Casey decision, the court went further, saying fathers are not entitled to be notified about an abortion.

"There's so many contradictions around all this - it's abortion first, and be damned if otherwise," says the Reverend Stephen Imbarrato, a Catholic priest and anti-abortion activist. Before entering the priesthood, Father Imbarrato got his girlfriend pregnant in 1975 and steered her toward having an abortion, finding out decades later she had been carrying twins. "Men regret lost fatherhood, as men are inherently called to be fathers."

This entire article is like a primary resource for identifying abusive violent violating men who then turn around and instead of realizing what horrifying people they were, they double down and advocate for abusers and violators to have EVEN MORE POWER OVER WOMEN AND GIRLS. Because, you know, they have feelings and emotions now, or something. (Also, really fucking weird for an ostensibly celibate Catholic priest to claim all men are inherently called to be fathers, but then I guess he did his due diligence already by knocking up a girl and then forcing her to abort her twins.)

But others argue that the number of men traumatised by abortions are outliers.

Gillian Frank, a historian of sexuality at the University of Virginia, says that the 1992 Planned Parenthood v Casey decision found that "in most contexts, where there was a stable and loving relationship, men and women made the decision together". "And when men are absent from the decisions, it is often because there is a risk of violence or coercion in the relationship. These decisions [by the courts] rested on the fact it is not a child, so the situation is not analogous to child custody."

There is disagreement on the ratio of women who have abortions without telling men, or in spite of them, or because of them. According to the Guttmacher Institute, a research and policy organisation that analyses abortion in the US, half of women getting abortions in 2014 said they did not want to be a single parent or were having problems with their husband or partner.

Fancy that.

"It has been recognised time and again that when people say they are arguing for men's voices to be heard it is actually more about being able to control women and to regulate their decisions," Mr Frank says. "And I don't see it as men have been absent, quite the opposite, men have always been vocal about women's ability to control their reproductive destiny."

Before Roe v Wade, he notes, this took the form of women having to go in front of a panel of usually male doctors to plead their cases for an abortion, and it continues today with "the men controlling pharmaceuticals and the men behind desks making decisions".

Also that whole pesky laws thing, solely constructed by men, but I mean that’s totally ancient history, right?

"Outside our clinics, it's typically men who are leading the protests and clambering onto cars to yell over the fence with bullhorns," says Sarah Wheat who works for Planned Parenthood in Austin, the Texas state capital and a major battleground over Texas legislation on abortion. Planned Parenthood is an organisation that provides sexual health care services, of which about 6% involves abortion, Ms Wheat says.

"It's usually loud and intimidating, designed to shame, stigmatise and intimidate. And when we go to the Capitol it feels very similar with the legislators. From our perspective, it feels men are still overrepresented."

Indeed, much of the pushback against men's involvement in abortion is steeped in the historical context of a patriarchy telling women what to do.

"There is a disconnect," Mr Locker says. "Men have a responsibility - as they should do - hence their wages get docked with child support if a baby is born, but at the same time they get no rights on an abortion going ahead."

“Men being forced to pay money to support a baby is totally a good reason to give men the power to force a woman to have a baby she doesn’t want.” There, I fixed it for ya, asshole.

"People don't see it, they keep men out of it," says Theo Purington, 34, whose pregnant girlfriend got an abortion in 2006 against his wishes, leaving him "depressed and a mess". The experience led to him becoming involved in pro-life advocacy and counselling post-abortive men enduring similar struggles.

Post-abortive men. I’d be happy to abort every single one of these men myself. Then they can find out what “post-abortive” really means.

"If men had to sign off on an abortion, I think you would see a 50% drop, and that's why the [abortion providers] don't want men involved," says Mr Purington.

Yes, the “abortion providers” are totally the reason why. Big Abortion. Huge business. Right up there with Viagra.

"The greatest injustice in this country today is that a man cannot protect his unborn child from abortion [in the same way as] men protecting our children is part of our responsibility."

Shut the fuck up. You couldn’t even manage to take responsibility for the one job you had in this story, which was not to fucking impregnate your girlfriend against her will. You had ONE JOB and couldn’t even do that. I hope you die a horrible death.

Amy Hagstrom Miller, who runs Whole Woman's Health, a company that manages seven clinics that provide abortion in five states in the US, says: "Yes, men are clearly involved at the beginning, in terms of getting the woman pregnant."

But she adds: "When it comes to her body, then there is a line that is drawn. It is the woman's pregnancy, she is carrying it in her body, and you don't get to tell someone what to do with their body and force them to carry to term - once you do that you start going into terrifying areas."

Ms Hagstrom Miller says that the abortion rights movement hasn't helped itself by framing abortion as just a woman's issue. "Abortion benefits women and men and families. Millions of men have benefited from having access to abortion."

She notes that over 60% of abortion patients are parents already - a figure supported by the Guttmacher Institute - and that at her clinic many couples turn up who are wrestling with an unplanned pregnancy and all the complex issues surrounding it. Some factors they consider are what size of family they want to have and how a new child would impact their current situation or family.

Okay, the reason the issue is framed as a woman’s issue is because this is a pitched battle over women’s bodies since no one actually cares about the fetus, including the men. Yes, men do benefit from abortion. That’s why the vast majority of men support it, not because they give a shit about women and female autonomy. Yes, “families” have benefited from abortion, in that women are the usual heads of families so it stands to reason. The idea that we all need to change tone to make Teh Menz feel better is annoying as fuck when those same Menz are trying to make The Handmaid’s Tale into a fucking documentary. Especially since the tone you seem to be advocating for is to an economic one, and women and our decisions are dehumanized enough under capitalism.

But, counter those involved in post-abortive counselling, it's what can happen further down the line that is not being acknowledged or spoken about enough due to the politics and posturing.

"Because of the rhetoric out there, people can't address what is there, which is a sense of loss, and affects men and women and whether you went into it pro-choice or not," says Kevin Burke, a social worker and co-founder of Rachel's Vineyard, which runs weekend retreats for post-abortive men and women. "But you are not given permission to speak about any of that, so you can't process it."

Why do men like to pretend so hard they need “permission” to speak about anything? The bastards can’t shut the fuck up about literally anything, but they need permission to talk about the very thing they themselves set into motion all of a sudden?

Mr Burke adds how he has found through his counselling work with imprisoned men from racial minorities that the fallout from an abortion can be heightened if a man previously experienced difficulties growing up.

"The abortion experience for men, especially with previous father loss, abuse and trauma, can contribute to the other issues that can lead men to express their grief, loss and rage from childhood abuse, and their abortion experiences, in destructive ways," Mr Burke says. "What we have learned is they seem to interact in a kind of toxic synergy."

Women are to blame for men’s trauma, the loss of their fathers, racism, out of control incarceration, crimes men commit, and of course women and girls who are impregnated by these men and don’t want to be have never experienced any of these things themselves. No “toxic synergy” for women, oh no, that’s a special Man Feel, which they need special permissions to express because they have no institutional power.

Commentators note you don't have to be an anti-abortion advocate to feel sorrow over an abortion, or be haunted about whether you did the right thing. Hence, Mr Burke explains, later on many men and women carry a huge amount of moral and spiritual wounding.

Ms Hagstrom Miller says she would like to see the debate "moving away from a conversation of rights to a conversation about dignity and respect, empathy and compassion" - a point not that far from sentiments held by some of those against abortion.

"I hate it when you have people outside abortion clinics shouting things like 'You are going to hell'," says Mr Locker, who has joined prayer groups outside clinics.

"For one it's not getting the job done [of dissuading the woman], and it shows no compassion, and just condemns the mother, who is feeling just as much like she has a leg caught in that trap too."

The pregnant woman ALSO “feels” she has her leg caught in a trap! Wow, he’s such a Nice Guy (tm), he cares so much, such equality! I mean, the actual fact of being pregnant and not wanting to be is, like, whatever, but she has feelings like men do, like HE did! Now he’s valid and can make the decisions for her because they are equals, see!

In the meantime, we could be hearing more from increasing numbers of post-abortive men, says Ms Bonopartis. She puts this down to a combination of the technological advances in ultrasound revealing more of what is occurring in the womb and the revelations of the passage of time since the Roe v Wade decision.

"It's changing now, men are fed up," Ms Bonopartis says. "Men had bought into how they have no say in this and that if they speak out, they are against women, but now the impact is being felt by more and more of them as the repercussions of 45 years of abortion are being seen."

The last forty-five years of abortion are WAY more important than the last 10,000 years of abortion, because NOW men are FED UP because THEY had NO SAY bitch how about you shut the fuck up too, you embarassing excuse for a female?

tl;dr Lucky you, I wish I hadn’t read it either.

#abortion #someone call the waaaahmbulance #some men are hurt in their feels

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jeanvaljean24601 · 4 years

Text

Teen Mom: Ranking the Most Insane Feuds of All Time!

From on-camera brawls to social media feuds and legal threats, the cast of Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2 sure know how to go hard. Moments that made you cringe 'cause they were so painful, or smile ear-to-ear. Scenes that were fights, or made you fight back tears.

The franchise really does have it all, and as such, it's become one of the most entertaining in the history of the reality TV genre.

Below, we look back at some of the MTV gang's most explosive feuds, and however you might rank them, this much is undeniable: Way back then. Not so way back then. Last year. Last month. Last week. Probably right now. There is no shortage of beef.

NOTE: We’ve saved the craziest for last, so we suggest that you a deep breath, sit back, grab a hat and hold the f--k onto it …

When Briana DeJesus joined the Teen Mom 2 cast in 2017, she was not welcomed with open arms. In fact, she quickly became persona non grata at her first get-together with the cast - with one exception. Jenelle Evans, Briana said, “is the only one who was acting like her s--t ain’t stink. Plus she was the only one who wasn’t acting fake and choosing sides.” Leah Messer’s response was to “pay no attention to those who try to bring you down … they’re just envious of where you are and how well you’re doing.” As we'll get to in a bit, relations haven't exactly gotten more amicable since.

Maci Bookout and Taylor McKinney's relationship has produced three kids, and they seem very happily married ... most of the time. Like, 85 percent of the time. Bookout alarmed fans with the confession a few years ago that revealed some trouble in paradise: “Eighty-five percent of the time we’re good to go … Fifteen percent is hell. All of our stress and emotions, we take out on each other. When the cameras leave, we’ll drink and freak out. It’s always literally the smallest things. It’s such small stuff but it blows up. It’s not going to go away.” Yikes ... but at least they've had plenty of time to work on things?

So Jenelle has this weird thing about Chelsea -- she accused her of copying her because she made a website for herself after she'd already made her own, because making a website is something totally special and unique. She also kind of accused Chelsea of copying her when she gave birth to Watson the day after Jenelle gave birth to Ensley, which is just wild. On another occasion, Jenelle went off about Chelsea ignoring her older daughter, Aubree, after having Watson, insinuating that she's a bad mother. Chelsea liked a tweet from someone who called Jenelle "pathetic" for bringing up Aubree, which is pretty much the most she's ever participated in this feud.

This one is pretty weird -- one time Babs "jokingly" threatening to "kill Kail" during an Instagram Live session with Jenelle. Lowry was understandably not amused and threatened to quit the show over Barbara's threats. That didn't happen, of course, and it's no longer an issue since Jenelle and her family are no longer on the show, but how bizarre, right?

Brooke Wehr was never a Teen Mom 2 cast member, but due to her mercurial relationship with Jeremy Calvert, her impact was felt just the same. A few years ago, the couple's engagement ended after Brooke accused Jeremy of cheating on her with multiple women, one being a Teen Mom 2 producer, another being her best friend, and a third possibly being his ex-wife Leah Messer. Brooke even shared a screen shot of a text message conversation between Jeremy and the best friend as proof, while Calvert responded in a drunken stupor that yes, maybe he did sleep with Brooke's best friend, but ... only because Wehr slept with some other guy first. Or, as he put it, Brooke was "f-cking his brains out, every day," and he was single, so "my dick was happy to do whatever the f-ck it wanted to do, and it did." Shocking that these two didn't work out ... but neither party was completely off base with their allegations. Just saying. Jeremy and Leah did hook up.

Briana hooked up with Luis in a bathroom while she was drunk, and she got pregnant. They tried to make a relationship work, but he cheated on her and was generally just not great. He's never really been around for their daughter, Stella, but he did come back around last year for a bit. Briana even decided to give him another shot -- except this time, she got the clap. So yeah, they're not on the best terms.

Devoin is the father of Briana's first child, Nova, and they haven't gotten along for many, many years. Briana says that Devoin is a deadbeat dad, Devoin says that Briana won't let him be an active father, it's this whole thing. However, things got especially bad last summer when Briana let him take Nova for an overnight visit and he ended up getting drunk while he was with her alone at a pool. More recently, she criticized him for not giving her any money to help with Nova.

This feud has been going on for years, but has taken on many new forms due to ever-changing circumstances and new tensions. The main point of contention for awhile was Javi's relationship with Briana DeJesus, who came on board the cast of Teen Mom 2 in 2017 amid a lot of controversy. Bri and Kail are bitter rivals (more on that later), so it's not surprising that Ms. Lowry would take issue with DeJesus hooking up with her ex ... or proposing to her. Kail was so salty over Javi's new relationship that she even canceled plans to collaborate on a pair of memoirs with Marroquin. android tv boxThese days, the two of them seem to be doing OK for the most part, but of course that could change at any moment.

Jenelle and Leah used to be friendly, but then things changed -- possibly because Leah became so close with Jenelle's mortal enemy, Kailyn Lowry. Jenelle has thrown plenty of jabs at Leah on social media, like the time she claimed CPS removed the twins from Leah's care and that there were more shocking details about all that that no one knows about. She's also criticized Leah for allowing her daughter to wear makeup and short skirts for cheerleading. As for Leah, she doesn't really seem to pay too much attention to anything Jenelle's ever said about her, although she did speak out after David killed Nugget, Jenelle's dog.

There was a time when Jenelle and Farrah were friends, but no more -- to be honest, both ladies seem to have trouble maintaining friendships with anyone. Jenelle has made remarks about Farrah's plastic surgery and her adult entertainment ventures, and Farrah has called Jenelle out on her bad parenting and her horrific taste in men. After Jenelle left David last year, Farrah offered her support, then ultimately decided to block her on social media because it's none of her business.

Jenelle didn't like Cheyenne from the moment MTV announced she was joining the cast of Teen Mom OG because of some tweets she'd made about white people several years ago. But the feud really started last year when Jenelle made a comment about Amber Portwood's assault charges -- Cheyenne tweeted that Jenelle "should be the last person throwing shade." Jenelle told her that she had no clue what she was talking about, then Cheyenne hit back with "Coming from the real racist, dog killer, abuser and honestly the most unstable individual I’ve witnessed.. GREAT STATEMENT.. get custody of ALL your kids and stay out of court before you talk about me." Jenelle tried to come back from that by calling her a "replacement," but Cheyenne said "And you're fired... soooo?" Beautiful.

Mackenzie has often criticized the network that made her a D-list star -- she once blasted both MTV itself and Teen Mom viewers who have been critical of her relationship with Ryan, particularly her decision to let him drive to their wedding while he was so high that he lost consciousness behind the wheel. "It’s easy to show the ‘half truth’ and portray it as a whole," Mackenzie wrote in a lengthy social media tirade. "But that’s ok because regardless of what happens, whether right or wrong, you’re considered scum.” She's also accused MTV of making her and her husband look bad with editing, but we'd argue that Ryan has always made himself look bad just because of who he is as a person. android tv box

Jenelle Evans' relationship with David Eason has been suspect from the start, even to members of their inner circle - and their own families. One of the loudest voices of disapproval of Jenelle is David Eason's sister. Her complaints were nothing new - Jenelle's a bad mom, a violent criminal, a drug addict, etc. But just because Jenelle's heard these criticisms before, that doesn't mean she took them lying down. In a public Facebook exchange that was at once amusing and horrifying, Jenelle tore into Jessica Eason Miller, accusing her of child abuse and hard drug addiction. Jess shot back by accusing Jenelle of going to great lengths to keep her numerous abortions a secret. Needless to say, these sisters-in-law won't be meeting up for cosmos anytime soon.

Following a slew of gossip stories shared by her co-stars a few years ago that she deemed unflattering, the Carolina Hurricane unleased her legal fury ... to widespread mockery. Jenelle sent cease-and-desist letters to a number of her co-stars, including Leah Messer, Chelsea Houska, and Chelsea's father, Randy Houska. She also took legal action against peripheral friends such as Ryan Dolph, and even her own mother, Barbara Evans. It's yet another reminder that Jenelle is not someone you want to mess with. Not because there's any legal merit to what she was alleging, but just because she's certifiably bonkers and when you kick a hornets' nest of that size, you open yourself up to all kinds of mayhem, bedlam and chaos.

Farrah hasn't gotten along with her former co-stars for years, but on one memorable occasion, she hopped on Instagram to allege that Lowell is a closeted pothead and Baltierra is secretly gay. Yes, for real. Catelynn was unable to defend herself as she was in rehab at the time being treated for various emotional issues; Tyler simply dismissed Farrah's claims as the ravings of seriously unstable woman. Probably the best way to conduct one's self in that situation, but they don't always brush it off. Tyler later stirred the pot once more when he said MTV was right to fire Farrah for her porn career, to which Abraham responded with an iconic word salad in the third person. android tv box

Catelynn has also attacked Farrah over the years - who could forget when she called her fellow Teen Mom a "hoe bag," or when she pretended not to know who Farrah was and instead started talking about Farrah Fawcett? What about the time that she charged out during Farrah's reunion fight with Amber yelling "TRASHY BITCH"? And then there was the time that Catelynn posted this just before Farrah's canceled boxing match with Hoopz. Stay classy, everyone!

This was a feud no one saw coming. Apparently Ryan was active on the dating app Tinder, despite the fact that he's, ya know ... married. When Mackenzie found out about this RIGHT AFTER they tied the knot, she was understandably not pleased. Catching your husband swiping and chatting with other chicks after you married him days earlier? Insane. But, instead of taking out her frustrations on Edwards himself, she decided to let loose on a random girl he was chatting with online. Edwards' Tinder Girl was the undisputed victor in this one, destroying Mackenzie's argument simply by stating, “Your husband is the one on Tinder.” Enough said, really. Incredibly, they stayed married, Mackenzie got pregnant ... TWICE. To quote the legendary Kieffer Delp, "You know how choices be."

Jeremy has never been a fan of David and Jenelle -- he spoke out against the homophobic remarks that got David fired, and he got into a spat with Jenelle after she was shown pulling a gun on that guy (he called her a "dumb bitch" in case you forgot). Later, David commented on a photo that Jeremy shared to tell him that he looked "like a bitch," and Jeremy went off on him in a long rant that concluded with "keep f-cking with me and I'll fly my ass to nc and I'll show u what kind of bitch I am pretty boy." So yeah, they don't like each other.

Where do you even start with these three? Ryan and Maci have experienced their share of rough patches over the years as they've struggled to peaceably co-parent their son, Bentley, but in the past, they've always been able to sort out their differences eventually. But then Ryan started doing heroin and brought Mackenzie into the picture, and that's not really the case anymore. Maci thinks that Mackenzie enables Ryan, Mackenzie thinks that Maci stresses Ryan out -- it's a mess. The two ladies have said plenty of nasty things about each other over the years, while Ryan went in and out of jail and rehab. Like we said, it's a mess. Poor Bentley.

Farrah has said a lot of things about the network that made her famous, like that time that she bizarrely claimed that MTV forces stars of the Teen Mom franchise to continue having children, even when they'd prefer not to. Abraham also accused the producers of encouraging Amber Portwood to attack her during their reunion show melee (more on that later), and even claimed she was fired from the network for partaking in "adult" pursuits on the side. Even more amazingly than the fact that she threw around the term "hate crimes" to describe how MTV treated her? The apparent fact that the folks who made her famous are actually willing to continue working with Farrah. Or were, until she finally got fired or quit, depending who you believe. With Farrah, every day is another day in the Post-Truth Era.

Where do we even begin with this. In late summer 2019, a 911 call was placed from Javi's home, following a dispute there. No charges were filed, but the truth came out. You see, Javi had recently gotten engaged to Lauren, with whom he welcomed his second son. Not long after that, he got busted cheating on her, banging one of the members of his CrossFit gym ... IN HIS BATHROOM while Lauren was asleep (or so he thought) IN THEIR HOME. As if that weren't crazy enough, he then called Kailyn to mediate; Kail later put him on blast, claiming he'd been cheating on Lauren back when she was pregnant and chastising him for wanting her to "clean up their mess." Don't worry, Javi posted a cheesy apology on Instagram, for everyone to see, and it was all good with Lauren after like 12 minutes.

There's always been some seriously bad blood between Farrah and Debra -- remember that time that she hit her in the early days of Teen Mom OG? Deb forced Farrah to become a mother when she insisted she wasn't ready, she didn't support her after Sophia's father passed away, and she was just generally awful towards her. Things got so bad between them that at one point, Farrah said that she'd wished that her mother would "just f-cking die already." They've been estranged for a long time now, although Farrah does sometimes allow Deb to see Sophia.

Jenelle Evans and her mother, Barbara, have always had a tumultuous relationship, with Babs unafraid to dish it out as much as she's forced to take it. In previous years, they would fight a lot and trade zingers (such as this classic image), then eventually put it behind them. For a good long while, Jenelle and Babs were at each other's throats more often than not, and the stakes couldn't have been higher. Barbara now has permanent custody of Jenelle's oldest son, Jace, and Jenelle has mostly come to terms with it. Thankfully, they're not fighting so much these days -- yep, they're actually managing to get along. For the moment, anyway.

Things neared a boiling point between Amber Portwood and Matt Baier after he vowed that would never marry her ... because she wouldn’t marry him on the spot in Las Vegas, obviously. “I will not marry her,” he said. “I will not marry her now, ever! I’m not gonna let her [brother] dictate my life. That f—king f—got. She wants to marry her brother. That’s who she wants to marry. F—k her. She just humiliated me on TV. I’m done!” Matt, who was livid at Amber’s reasoning for not eloping in Vegas - her brother Shawn not being present - went on to tell a producer, “I don’t care who you have to give oral pleasure to, keep the Amber and Matt wedding thing off [the air]. She just embarrassed me in front of 12 million people.” We’re pretty sure you did that to yourself, Matt …

As if it wasn't bad enough that Matt Baier offered Catelynn Lowell a Xanax before a press event, casting serious doubt over whether or not he remains drug-free, he ultimately took a lie detector test to prove his faithfulness to Amber Portwood ... and failed. The polygraph revealed that Matt made sexual advances toward other women during his relationship with the Teen Mom star, and that was it for her. "Trash! TRASH! I got you money. I got you deals! And you tried to f--k her! F--K YOU!" Their breakup, which was a long time coming, was not undone despite a stint on Marriage Boot Camp ... though she did meet crew member Andrew Glennon while on the set and went on to have his baby. Matt also got married (seriously) to Jen Conlon. Funny how life works out. h96 max tv box

Perhaps the longest-running feud of the franchise, Chelsea Houska and Adam Lind face off mostly through their lawyers these days, because the derelict of society can't stay out of trouble or pay child support. In recent years, he's failed drug tests with meth in his system, and he's also been arrested more than once for domestic violence. Because of all of that, he's only allowed to see his daughter with Chelsea at a visitation center (which he rarely seems to do), and he gave up his parental rights completely for his other daughter, Paislee.

Amber and Jenelle have never interacted all that much since they were on different shows, but still, Amber felt the need to speak out after one of David's many abuse scandals -- she ranted about it on Instagram, calling him names like "bitch" and "disgusting clown." Jenelle told her to leave her family alone, and she also said "You’re the one who went to jail for domestic violence but you’re sitting here pointing fingers at my husband?" Amber then threatened to beat her up, because of course she did. Their feud was reignited months later when Jenelle started saying that it was unfair that she got fired when Amber got to keep her spot on the show. Amber never responded, but a source did report that “She doesn’t feel the need to get into a feud with Jenelle with everything going on in the world right now."

This feud has been going on for a long, long time, and it started back in the day when Jenelle needed Kailyn to post bail for her, but then she never paid her back. These two have traded insults over the years, and Jenelle was actually low enough to leak the news of Kail's pregnancy with Lux. Since then, they've been making snide remarks about each other on social media, with David even joining in to insult her about things like her weight and her sexuality. Most recently, Jenelle took a break from her newfound body positivity to call Kail "a giant compared to me," and Kailyn hit back by saying that at least she has custody of all of her children. Classic stuff there.

Nathan and Jenelle were terrible together, and things didn't change after they broke up. The big issue was that she didn't waste any time in getting with David, and David has always hated Nathan. Like, a lot. The feeling became mutual after a while, and Nathan started claiming that Kaiser had told him that David was abusive. Nathan once even tweeted photos of some suspicious bruises on Kaiser that he said were from David hitting him with a stick, but Jenelle turned it around, suggesting that Nathan was the abusive one. Nathan has been talking about getting custody of Kaiser for a while now, but of course he has his own issues on top of everything else.

Amber Portwood and Farrah Abraham’s iconic beef may never be topped, at least in terms of how it came to a head on an MTV reunion special with the cameras rolling. It was pretty standard - or at least it was until Farrah said that Amber's then-boyfriend, Matt Baier, looks like a pedophile. With Farrah and her then-boyfriend, Simon Saran, just trolling Matt incessantly, Portwood hit her breaking point off camera. She stormed the stage, trying to fight Farrah, hurling insult after insult at her rival, and even throwing a punch that missed. Baier and Farrah's father, Michael, then got into it physically, forcing security to break it up. Crew members stormed the stage to pull Amber away from Farrah and it was all a mess. An epic, chaotic and glorious mess. h96 tv box

The bad blood from their epic reunion fight lingered long after the dust settled and only worsened in the years since.. Farrah said Gary Shirley should have full custody of Amber’s daughter, and that Amber needs to stop "using me to get attention … I want nothing to do with [her] criminal behavior or lying evil groups of people [she associates] with.” Fast forward to 2019, in the wake of Amber's arrest for assaulting Andrew Glennon (below), Farrah said again: "I do not speak to others who are very vulgar and abusive. I haven’t spoken to her. I feel that children, adults, family members, everyone associated should be treated with care, love. And that’s where the society and the world is going. I really hope that, not only Amber, but I hope Catelynn, I hope Maci… gets some help. They seriously need it." Vintage Farrah word salad.

This feud never really stops, but boy does it take more twists and turns than we can even count. Most notably, Javi started dating Briana, and even proposed to her in 2018, resulting in a lot of bitter feelings from Kailyn. THEN, he broke up with Briana and started dating Lauren Comeau ... who quickly became pregnant with his child, prompting more feelings from both Kailyn and Briana. THEN Kailyn revealed that after his split from Briana, but prior to him impregnating Lauren, Javi tried to bang Kailyn repeatedly. After that, it came out that Javi was actually juggling all three women at the same time. Who has the energy?

One of the best, for obvious reasons. As we mentioned, Bri's was dating Kailyn's ex-husband, Javi Marroquin, a move that effectively drove a dagger into the heart of their friendship - whatever that consisted of. They had a very heated argument at one reunion, and at the next, they wanted to physically fight each other. First, Kail invited Briana for a private chat in a room backstage, but Briana left before things could get bad. Later, when it was time for all the girls to to onstage together, Briana tried to attack Kailyn, but security guards were able to keep them away from each other. They don't do reunions together anymore, but they do get sassy about each other on social media!

There's a lot here, so let's just breeze through, all right? Kailyn met Chris at college, she slept with him when she was still married to Javi, and he ended up impregnating her when the marriage was over. He was never around throughout the pregnancy, and she even said he had another girlfriend, though he did show up for the birth and for a little while after. Kail has said that things went bad a few months later, and she's even claimed that he broke into her house and broke a window in her bedroom at that time. Still, she had a big thing for them, and they hooked up every now and then. Eventually, he got her pregnant again, and she soon got an order of protection against him. Right now, she's nearing the end of that pregnancy, and things don't seem to be much better with Chris.

Nothing funny about this one. On July 5, 2019, Portwood was arrested and charged with two counts of domestic battery and one count of criminal recklessness with a deadly weapon after she struck her boyfriend, Andrew Glennon, in the neck as Glennon held their son James in his arms. She then threatened to commit suicide by overdosing on pills, and used a machete to attempt and break into the room where Glennon was hiding with their son. She was convicted on felony charges of domestic battery and intimdation, and she's currently on probation. Later, audio recordings were released in which Amber could be heard verbally abusing Andrew, and in one she even admitted to punching him in the face. There's no contact between them now, and Amber has been allowed visits with their son. h96 tv box

Where do we even begin? Jenelle and David have always gotten in awful fights, and they've only gotten worse as time has gone on. In the beginning, they argued a lot, but a couple of years ago, she called 911 in hysterics, claiming he pushed her down so hard she thought he'd broken her collarbone. She called again a few months later because she'd locked him outside and he was beating the door down. Last year, she left him for a while after he killed her dog, which resulted in them losing temporary custody of the kids, and she even got a restraining order against him after telling a judge she feared for her life. She went back to him, but things definitely haven't been good -- she recently left him again and threatened to get a restraining order. She didn't, and we guess things are supposed to be OK right now, but it's only a matter of time until things get bad again.

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chuffyfan87 · 5 years

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Hiding. Part 31b

Trigger warnings for discussion of abuse and assault.

-x-

“I only gave her what she deserved.”

"Which was?"

“I hurt her in the same way she hurt me!” He took a calming breath. “But only emotionally. I never laid hands on her.”

"But that was the night she admitted to hospital with extensive bruising to her face and abdomen. How do you explain that?"

“I can’t explain it.”

"The injuries were consistent with a vicious assault. An assault that your estranged wife claims you were the perpetrator of."

“I thought we were here about the boys? Not about my alleged assault.”

"It all forms the reasons why Ms Duffin feels that you should not be allowed custody of the child in question. Do you wish to outline your reasons for why you feel that she should not continue to maintain full custody?"

“She’s unstable. Emotionally unstable. She experienced post natal depression after Jake. She’s not a good mum, too busy with that partner of hers. Her mood swings are a bit extreme and can cause issues for both the boys.”

"Ms Duffin has admitted on record her issues with post natal depression for which she sought treatment and did not suffer a reoccurance of the problems in her subsequent two pregnancies. Can you give an example of her unstable behaviour impacting on the children?"

“How many more of your stupid questions am I going to have to answer?” Andrew asked.

"Enough so I'm satisfied that we possess all the facts of the matter. Now, please, if you wish your accusations of emotional instability to be considered then we need concrete examples."

“Look at her? Do you think she can raise children to be happy and healthy?” He gestured towards her hand, “Ask her how she got that. She probably smashed up another mirror. It wouldn’t be the first time.”

"I cut it on broken glass. I dropped a mirror and was trying to clean up." She mumbled.

“Of course you did.” Andrew answered back.

"Charlie was there when it happened! Ask him!"

“She dropped a mirror, caught her hand on a piece of glass tidying up. I had to remove it with tweezers.” Charlie replied as he gave her hand another squeeze.

"See!" She retorted.

“Anything else you’d like to add Mr Bower?”

Andrew shook his head, “No.”

The custody panel then dismissed them to wait outside whilst they deliberated.

Arriving back in the foyer Duffy headed towards the main entrance.

Charlie sighed. That had been tough. He couldn’t imagine what Duffy was feeling. He watched her, not sure whether to give her time to herself or go and talk to her.

Reaching the street she stood with her back against the wall. She hit her head back against it a couple of times in frustration before bursting into tears.

Charlie sighed as he saw her begin to cry.

She immediately sensed his presence without opening her eyes. She sighed and allowed herself to be enveloped in his embrace.

He didn’t speak. All he did was hold her tightly.

Several minutes passed before she spoke. "I screwed up didn't I?"

“No sweetheart, no, you didn’t.”

"He's talked his way out of all of it hasn't he? They're gunna think I'm the one that's not a good parent."

“You don’t know that.”

"He had an answer for everything. Then he brought up what happened yesterday..."

“Which we both explained.”

"We lied though." She whispered.

“We bent the truth a little. That’s all.”

"Andrew knew we were lying."

“But his representatives didn’t, did they?”

"You think he won't tell them?"

“It’s his word against ours.” Charlie reassured.

"It didn't happen often..." Duffy sighed. "He made it sound like it was all the time but it wasn't."

“What didn’t?” He asked.

"The mirrors."

“Have you ever hurt yourself because of the intensity of your emotions?”

"I just hated the image staring back."

“Why? What do you see?”

"Worthless, frightened, not good enough."

“It’s ok to be frightened, but you’re not any of those other things you tell yourself you are.”

"Maybe not now. You make me into something better than I am."

“I didn’t do anything.”

"You saved me."

“I love you for who you are.” He replied.

She smiled. She let out a breath as she looked back up at the imposing building. "We should probably go back inside shouldn't we?"

“Yes darling, I think it’s time for us to go back.” He kissed the top of her head and released her from his embrace.

They walked back inside and after a few moments were called back into the room. Though she'd been more subtle during the first meeting, this time Duffy made a point of taking hold of Charlie's hand as they walked past Andrew and into the room.

His thumb stroked the back of her hand, “We'll be alright. I promise.” Charlie whispered.

She sat down and rested her hands on the table, trying her best not to play with her engagement ring but finding she couldn't help fidgeting due to nerves.

“We have reached a decision.”

Duffy held her breath as she stared at the table.

“We believe it to be in the best interests of the children to remain with their mother, based on the evidence provided. However, I do believe Mr Bower should be allowed access to see his children and I’m suggesting this would be through a contact centre, every 2 weeks for 1 hour 30 minutes.”

"And if Jake refuses?" Duffy asked, relief coursing through her. "He's six years old, I can't exactly carry him there against his will."

“If he refuses, you must inform your solicitor.”

"OK. Thank you."

“I hope you’ll be relieved with the outcome.”

Andrew banged his fist against the table in anger and annoyance.

"I am thank you." Duffy smiled before leaving. Once outside she turned to Charlie buttoning her jacket as she did so. "Oh, I left my scarf inside! Can you go and fetch it for me please? I don't really want to go back inside there again."

Charlie nodded and kissed her cheek. “I won’t be a minute. Ok?”

"Yeh, I'll be fine. I'll wait for you here." She smiled.

He kissed her cheek again and disappeared inside to retrieve her scarf.

She opened her bag to retrieve her car keys when suddenly a hand went across her mouth from behind.

“Shut up!!” He hissed down her ear and threw her backwards against the wall.

She felt her head hit the wall with great force and the edges of her vision go blurry. She tried to struggle and scream against his hand.

“This is /not/ over! Do you understand!!”

She tried to fight but he was stronger and dragged her into an alleyway between the buildings.

“You are pathetic and weak!!”

She froze as he began to pull at her clothing.

“You used to always enjoy this. What’s changed?” He taunted in her ear. Before he was suddenly dragged off, thrown against the wall and punched in the mouth. Charlie had luckily seen what had happened.

Duffy tried to gather her torn blouse around herself as she curled up in a ball on the damp ground crying.

Both men began to fight. Charlie’s anger got the better of him.

"Please stop!" She begged but her voice was barely above a whisper.

Charlie threw a final punch at Andrew which knocked him out and crouched down in front of Duffy, “Baby, you ok? Did he hurt you?”

"My head." She mumbled, her eyes struggling to focus on him.

Charlie called an ambulance, he didn’t like Duffy’s presentation.

He was right to as a couple of minutes later she was sick.

“Oh baby.” He sighed, why did Andrew always ruin everything?!

"Did I fall?" She asked, confusion setting in.

“No sweetie. It’s ok, the ambulance is on its way.”

Spotting Andrew lying on the ground nearby she panicked, pulling herself into a tighter ball.

“I did that. Don’t worry about Andrew, please.”

"But... Police... You..." Her face showed her frustration at her jumbled words.

“Try and not talk. Just stay calm, ok?”

She groaned as she was sick again. Everything was going blurry again.

Charlie prayed the ambulance would get there soon!

A few minutes later the ambulance pulled up and Josh jumped out. On seeing the scene in front of him he gasped. "What the hell?"

“Duffy’s banged her head, has so far remained conscious but has vomited twice.” He sighed, “I knocked Andrew out when I smacked him in the jaw. He was trying to rape her.”

Josh hesitated slightly. He knew that Andrew was the more severely injured patient but his personal feelings were clouding his professional judgement. “They both need help, I know that.” He mumbled.

Luckily for both men Josh's colleague jumped from the back of the ambulance and went to treat Andrew, leaving Josh free to treat Duffy.

Charlie was rubbing his knuckles, they were bruised and cut.

Josh began to examine the back of Duffy's head. There was a small amount of bleeding but no swelling. She let out a hiss as he pressed the area.

"The lack of swelling is concerning as its a pretty nasty knock." Josh commented as he ran a torch across Duffy's eyes.

Charlie nodded, he glanced at Andrew who was still out of it.

"Come on Duffy, keep your eyes open for me!" Josh encouraged.

Duffy was obviously struggling with the simple request.

Josh clearly noticed something as he quickly but gently lowered Duffy to the ground and moved back slightly, pushing Charlie with him.

Before Charlie had chance to speak Duffy began to have a seizure.

Charlie began to panic further. “I shouldn’t have left her.” He muttered.

"I don't understand." Josh replied as he studied his watch to time the seizure.

“I headed back inside. I shouldn’t have. I knew Andrew would be waiting for her, it didn’t go to plan.”

"You couldn't have predicted he'd attack her in broad daylight outside a court." Josh replied, moving back towards Duffy as she began to come out of the seizure.

“Is he alive?” Charlie asked, indicating to Andrew.

"Yeh, he'll be fine. You bust his jaw pretty good though." The other paramedic replied.

“Good.” He replied.

"Duffy, can you hear me?" Josh asked her.

She mumbled incoherently.

Charlie felt sick with worry. “Duffy, darling. I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”

"Let's get her to hospital. She needs a scan to check what's going on."

Charlie nodded. He took a deep breath. They waited for a second ambulance crew, before taking both Andrew and Duffy to hospital.

After a flurry of activity at the hospital Max eventually came to find Charlie in his office about an hour later.

His fingertips stroking over a picture of him and Duffy that was on his desk. In his own little world.

"The scan results are back."

“Is she ok?”

"Given time she should be. We'll know more once she's fully conscious. She has a compressed skull fracture. The seizure complicates matters. It's not the first one she's had according to her notes."

“What? She’s had this before?” Charlie frowned, “She never mentioned it...”

"There's two prior seizures listed on her notes. One last December and then another one dating back to when she was approximately 17 years old."

“I knew about the one when she was pregnant with the twins but I didn’t know about the first.” He replied. “Can I see her?”

#chuffy #charlie and duffy #charlie fairhead #lisa duffin

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raybansandcoffee · 5 years

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Okay, I know given that what I’m currently writing involves Jeremy Renner that I can’t exactly avoid what the news is reporting today. I’m going to speak on this now and until there is absolute evidence showing something one way or another I won’t be addressing it again.

I am the child of divorce. It sucks. Custody battles suck. Being tossed back and forth between parents sucks.

I was in a relationship with a guy that I’m fairly certain had Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It’s not easy to be constantly gaslit in a relationship and led to believe that you are doing horrible things when you actually aren’t.

As someone who remembers what the public side of Jeremy and Sonni’s divorce proceedings looked like what four years ago I find all of this suspicious. If either of my parents had done ANYTHING that threatened my safety that the other would have IMMEDIATELY done whatever it took to protect me. The claims that Jeremy threatened Sonni’s life and his own are nearly a year old. Why wait? If someone threatened to kill me and I thought it was credible I would’ve done something immediately. Also, some of the texts she released were from when they were going through their divorce originally. That was four years ago, I read a text where she said “Ava is almost 2″ that’s a long time to wait to try to do this. Especially when you consider their custody battle was long and drawn out originally. She’s sued him before to get more money because the $13,000 a month child support she was getting wasn’t enough. I know people who live on less than that a year. Their original divorce had statements from people accusing Sonni of using drugs and alcohol when Ava was an infant and if I remember correctly her leaving an 18-month-old Ava by herself in their home so she could go out and party with her friends. It’s also super convenient that after what I assume was a profitable campaign with JEEP, being starring in the highest-grossing film of all time, and as the press is beginning on his first children’s movie that suddenly it’s the right time for Sonni to come forward. That makes me feel like she has ill intentions because if her true intention was the safety of Ava she would’ve reported it IMMEDIATELY.

Based on what he shows the world Jeremy is a devoted Dad. Can that mean that he’s made mistakes? Yes. Can that mean that he’s done things wrong? Absolutely. But does that make the allegations of his ex-wife (who openly claimed “she bagged an Avenger” and according to friends that she tried to extort Jeremy for money and citizenship) correct? No, it doesn’t, it also doesn’t mean she’s lying.

What I am writing is pure fiction. The character of Jeremy in what I am writing is rooted in reality of what I know about him but is also a 100% fictional character I developed completely on my own. So for the time being, I will continue to write this as it is. I will not be stopping or changing the character to not be Jeremy, he is what inspired this and it’s not my intention to change that. If allegations are proved then I will obviously be forced to reconsider it. As a feminist and someone who has suffered emotional abuse in a relationship, I don’t condone that sort of action, from men or women. I also believe that cancel culture is fucking toxic. People make mistakes, myself included. I am far from perfect and if you’re reading this you likely aren’t perfect either because you’re human. Humans make mistakes and hopefully learn from them.

My hope is that what is best for Ava is how this ends up. Whether it’s with her mother, father, or someone else. This little girl is 6 and deserves the chance to have a wonderful life, not one constantly being scrutinized by the press and the public. She deserves the world. She deserves to be protected. She deserves a whole lot better than this.

I’m happy to discuss this in private but for now this is all I will be saying to address it.

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orthographewrites · 5 years

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♀( changed my mind, i wanna meet robin’s mom )

A DRABBLE FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF ROBIN’S MOTHER:

There was a mixture of bitter resentment and disgust that traveled through her veins as the childlike hums of her daughter broke the otherwise silence around the kitchen. The quiet ticks and tacks of a keyboard filled the gaps, causing her lips to purse and the wrinkles around her eyes to stretch and narrow as she turned to face the younger woman.

“Quiet down, Lydia.” A demand, not a request. She should know better by now than to mess around with her mother’s peaceful mornings. Her fingers moved across the table in which she sat, grabbing for a package of cigarettes and a near empty lighter – eyes yet stuck on her daughter, a sigh of disappointment to reek through her next words. “I damn hope you aren’t wasting your time reading that god-awful blog still. You got better things to do around here.” Her thumb swept across the ignition, once, twice before the flame covered her sight and brought her attention elsewhere. ( @alicemorganwrites )

“It’s… not stupid, mom. It’s… you learn a lot.” Lydia’s face peeked over the laptop screen, meeting up with her mom for a moment before she quickly broke contact and glued herself back to the page in front of her.

A huff of smoke landed in the air with an exhale. A smack of the tongue against lips as the raspy feeling of toxicity pulled at her lungs, soon to laugh sharply. “Of course you’d say that, dear.” She often found herself to wonder what would happen if she simply spoke the truth about the person behind the words. His name rang through her head like a rotten memory of her long, lost youth, of how she had allowed herself to get enchanted by her ex and tricked into a life of early motherhood. Years stolen, her beauty slipping her grasp. Perhaps the two of them would have worked it out, perhaps not. That gnarly child of theirs had marked the beginning of their end, that much she did know.

Stenmark. The last name that came with a punch of reality. She inhaled another puff of smoke into her mouth, biting her teeth to hold it back. How two gay men had managed to get their hands on not only one, but three, children was beyond her – considering how it was barely legal for the two to exist by the time their claims sent her family into a whirlwind of chaos nor had it seemed they spared any time to drag the poor boy into their eccentric lifestyle. If one could call it that. To think such people had the right to accuse her and her ex of abuse when they had been the ones to slowly groom her son into thinking they had something to offer. Niklas was the one with a temper, the one that had triggered their fights – not her. She was, and always would be, a disciplined mother. It was a parents’ job, by the end of it all, to put their children back in place when they went off the rails and refused to listen. Society had gotten soft throughout the years, that was all.

Lydia had proven herself to be brighter in a lot of ways in comparison, although far from as successful as her seemingly half-brother. She was obedient and didn’t cause an unnecessary fuss but seemed unable to pull herself away from this old link of theirs. When Lydia had brought up Robin’s name around the dinner table the first time, her mind had refused to connect the last name to anything of significance. She had asked to borrow money for a book of his, casually mentioning he was the owner of some travel blog she had been a fan of for a few years. Not until she had provided her mom with a second part of facts about how he was born and raised in Sweden, Linköping to be exact, the dots connected.

Once dinner was dismissed with a swift “I’ll think about it”, had she grabbed for their laptop and put Robin’s name into the search bar to confirm her thoughts – most leading her directly to this blog of his and some adverts about the book Lydia had been talking about. It didn’t interest her and instead, the focus had landed on a short Wikipedia page written up, surprised to find her own name written up.

Biological parents: Niklas Ryberg and Mona Ljungdahl.

Adoptive parents: Stefan and Lars Stenmark.

Adoptive siblings: Sofia and Hugo Stenmark.

Robin had gone out of his way to travel for fun, at first it seemed, and then teamed up with some other man to create a blog of sorts. They had split up after a few years and Robin had continued his own, growing by the year and could now even call himself a published author. It was surreal to read and dwell back on. He lived an active lifestyle, in more than one ways, rolling with ideas and prompts to get him forward in his career.

Could she say much of anything about Robin outside of that? Not really. She didn’t know him, nor did he know her. They were nothing but harsh memories to each other, a window into what her life could have been like if she had fought for his custody. Switching one bland child for a successful one. Or, a harsh reminder of something wasted alongside Niklas. Where would her life have led her if she hadn’t stopped for a family break? Would she have been the one to grow big and famous? Perhaps married someone rich who understood and appreciated her? Questions no one could answer and ones that made her feel ten years older by the beat.

Mona exhaled one last time, pressing the butt of the now burned down cigarette against a make-shift ashtray that stood to her left. Her eyes, this time devious in a way, met back up with her daughter. A cough entered the air between them, her hand waving in front of her as she called for Lydia’s attention. “You know, Ly, I think there’s something I should be telling you about that little hero of yours. You’re old enough to hear the truth.”

#i did it!!#the half sister and the mom is finally in action c':#ive been sitting on this for way too long but omg #meme: robin stenmark #other; lydia ljungdahl #other; mona ljungdahl

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thefeministherald · 6 years

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Sophia thought that once she asked her abusive ex-partner to leave, life would improve for her and her children. Instead, she said, he continued to exert control over her, accused her of neglecting the children, took her to court to win custody – and ultimately convinced the family court to take his side. Sophia, whose real name is not being used to protect the identities of herself and her children, told BuzzFeed News she had reported her ex to the police after she was left fearing for her life, and that medical professionals found no evidence of the neglect he had accused her of. But, she said, her former partner was allowed to cross-examine her in court, using the involvement of social services against her, and the court decided to grant him residency. Sophia is now taking antidepressants and is unable to work, and she has to rely on food banks to feed her children when they come to visit. She does not dare challenge the decision made by the judge, fearing that she may lose access to her children altogether. Her experience is not unique. Survivors of domestic abuse have called for a radical overhaul in the family court system after a report, released today, found systemic gender discrimination in the family courts is putting children at risk. The report, from the charity Women's Aid and Queen Mary University London, found that harmful attitudes towards domestic abuse survivors from lawyers, the judiciary, and employees of the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (Cafcass) are leading to women being discriminated against in the family court, which in turn is putting children at risk. Following Sophia's split from her former partner, the children were seen by a number of medical professionals over several years, who she said found no evidence the children were suffering from neglect. She also told BuzzFeed News she called police a number of times to report incidents of violence, including one in which she feared for her life – which was the catalyst for her telling him to leave. After her ex-partner left, Sophia said, he continued to exert control over her by criticising her parenting, which led to social services being involved and ultimately to her losing custody of her children. Despite being "angry, upset, and shocked" by concerns about her children's welfare, she said she complied with all of the professionals' requests and took them to appointments as directed, until these were discontinued when no issues were found. "It was easy to say 'these people have been involved' and 'these people have been involved'," she told BuzzFeed News. "It was easy for them to say that there had been issues in the children's care. It was a very dirty use of it – I was really shocked." She added: "He was trying to control [me], he was trying to get what he wanted and get the children. Not to have the children, but to leave me without the children – it was completely that." Sophia said she experienced coercive control and physical and emotional abuse in the relationship, some of which was witnessed by the children, with one intervening to protect her at the age of just 3. She said she suffered "years of being dragged about" her house. Her ex-partner would control her finances, choose her clothes for her, and encourage her to get pregnant repeatedly, she said. At the time, she said, she "didn't know much about domestic violence and the way it develops". "I got bruised on two or three occasions," she told BuzzFeed News. "The children witnessed some of it, and there was shouting." Eventually, she asked him to leave after one particularly violent incident. "I said to myself, 'Is this the bit where I die?' "Everything slows down, but I thought 'I've got legs' and kicked him, kicked him where it hurts, and ran for the house phone and called the police," she told BuzzFeed News. However, she said, as she had retaliated to defend herself on one occasion, the first Cafcass worker dismissed the violence as mutual, referencing it in only two lines of their report. The second Cafcass worker, she said, resubmitted the first worker's report without asking any of their own questions. Kirsty O'connor / PA Wire/PA Images Share Pin ADVERTISEMENT "I have to put away the shame and say 'thank you for this blessing'," she told BuzzFeed News about using food banks. "You get extra treats at Christmas and Easter, and it's lovely. I'm so grateful it's there. It's really tough to parent in this situation." Sophia said that she feels she cannot appeal – a solicitor once warned her that doing so may result in her ending up with less access to her children. But she feels completely let down by the family court system. "Nobody understood, nobody got it, nobody cared," she told BuzzFeed News. "I believed that if I sat in the courtroom and didn't throw dirt back, with my integrity the judge would see the truth. I was completely wrong – that didn't happen. I was utterly shocked. "It's hard to be a part-time mum. It's hard to miss things, to catch up, to have a text message relationship with them. If the court wasn't fair and the judge wasn't fair, where do we go with that?" And Sophia's isn't the only one. The report collected quantitative and qualitative data from 72 women living in England. Researchers found a prevalence of damaging gendered stereotypes and harmful attitudes towards domestic abuse survivors and mothers, which they say is putting survivors and their children’s safety at risk and preventing women from accessing justice. One-quarter of survivors who responded to the survey said that they had been cross-examined by their abusive ex-partner during the court hearings; more than 60% said that there were no special measures in place at the court – such as separate waiting rooms, different entry and exit times, or a screen or video link – to prevent them from having to come into contact with their abuser. Almost 70% of the women surveyed said that their abusive ex-partner had also been emotionally abusive towards their child or children, while almost two in five said their abusive ex-partner had also been physically abusive to the children. Survivors said they were seen as unstable by judges, barristers, and Cafcass officers, or were blamed for their abuse, or disbelieved. Rachael, whose real name is also not being used, was taken to court by her ex-partner, who wanted access to their child. He has a string of previous convictions for violence against women and men, and had served time in prison for attacking her while she was pregnant. She also had a restraining order against him and had reported him to the police several times since his release from prison. Her ex-partner had also been violent to her child, she told the court. She intervened at the time to stop the abuse, but never reported it to police, she said, fearing the child would be taken away. "He is extremely violent," she told BuzzFeed News. "He does cocaine and other drugs socially. He was abusive at home, had no patience with [my child], but he wanted me to give him contact with my child." Rachael said she was completely unprepared for her experience of the family court and was shocked that the judge told her former partner that despite his previous actions, he had a right to see his child. "I thought, I don't have a criminal record, the justice system in this country is amazing. They will see him for what he is," she said. "I had evidence, police statements. I thought, There's no way he'll get access to my child. I went in there confident that no one else would allow him access, but it didn't go that way." The court ruled in her ex's favour, which Rachael said put both her and her child's safety at risk. The judge insisted that her ex-partner knew which school their child was attending after she moved house to protect herself, and granted her violent former partner supervised contact, which would then lead to unsupervised contact. Rachael was also cross-examined by her former partner in court for three hours, which she said was "the worst experience of my life". "It was horrendous," she told BuzzFeed News. "I've never, ever experienced anything like [it] and hope I never have to again. He asked about my sex life, about previous relationships, [said] my ex-partner was abusive – he was trying to make out it was me that sought out abusive men." Rachael believes her partner only took her to court as another way of maintaining control. She estimates she paid £15,000 in legal fees, but he represented himself. After her child refused to go to visits, he now has only indirect contact – letters and phone calls. "They're not interested in the actual child," she said. "Even when we were together he wasn't interested. It's about coercion and taking control." Provisions were due to be brought in by the government to prevent abusive partners from questioning their victims in court, in the Prisons and Courts Bill, but the legislation was shelved after Theresa May called a snap general election last year. "They called the election and scrapped that," Rachael said. "I was devastated. I was over the moon when it was going to parliament, but they're not going through with it, they're not bothered. "[The government] need to realise it's an epidemic and it's not going to get any better. It's not going to stop unless they do something about it." MPs and charities are now demanding that rules to stop cross-examination of former partners be introduced in the Domestic Abuse Bill. As yet, there are no specific commitments in the proposed bill to address the family courts’ failings, with the consultation process due to close on Thursday. Labour MP Jess Phillips told BuzzFeed News the findings of the report, titled “'What about my right not to be abused?' Domestic abuse, human rights and the family courts", were "no surprise." "It's what we've been saying for two years now," she said. "And nothing has changed in that time. The head of the family court, James Munby, is leaving this year and promised to reform it in his time, but when the legislation fell nothing has changed. The government has got to incorporate this in the [Domestic Abuse] Bill." Will Bremridge for BuzzFeed News Share Pin Labour MP Jess Phillips Phillips said that that harmful attitudes towards mothers are entrenched in the family court system. "It's horrendous," she told BuzzFeed News. "I have hundreds and hundreds of cases where women have been failed by the family court system. "There's no doubt in my mind that there's a bias against victims of domestic abuse in family court. In a lot of cases they collude with perpetrators. They make women go on mental health assessments – they believe they're unstable. And the problem is a lot of women just give up and allow violent partners access to the children." "If you're a violent perpetrator", she added, "you are not a good father – that's the beginning, middle, and end. It's not a personal matter – that's not good parenting. If you're a violent perpetrator, it should be considered that you're a failing parent." Phillips said it is a "massive disservice" for people to think that "family courts are skewed in favour of mothers. I've never seen a case where that's been the case." Katie Ghose, chief executive of Women’s Aid, said: “We know that perpetrators of domestic abuse are using the family courts to continue to control and abuse victims, and that the sexist attitudes entrenched within the family courts are enabling that abuse." “It is a matter of urgency that the government bans the unacceptable practice of the cross-examination of victims by abusers," Ghose said. "Survivors have been waiting over a year since the government committed to bring this legislation forward. "We also want to see compulsory and ongoing training for all professionals – from judges and solicitors through to court support staff and Cafcass officers – on domestic abuse co-delivered by specialists like Women’s Aid. This must cover coercive control, post-separation abuse and how children experience domestic abuse so that all professionals can identify and understand domestic abuse to effectively safeguard children and non-abusive parents throughout the court process." Shazia Choudhry, professor of law at Queen Mary University of London, said: “This research indicates that the human rights of these survivors to their family life and to be free from discrimination are not being given sufficient effect in the domestic family courts. "Moreover, there is evidence of the family courts failing in their responsibility to prevent and investigate acts of violence towards these survivors and facilitating or failing to challenge a climate of gender discrimination within the courtroom. The findings of this research are deeply concerning and requires urgent attention from both the judiciary and the legal profession.” A Ministry of Justice spokesperson said in a statement: "Domestic abuse destroys lives and children’s futures, which is why the Government has set out measures to better protect victims and bring more offenders to justice. “We will legislate to ban the unacceptable practice of abusers cross-examining their victims in the Family Court as soon as possible. “The law is clear that the child’s welfare is paramount, and it is for judges to determine what is best for the child after careful consideration of the facts in each case.”

#family court #domestic abuse #misogyny #feminism

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unjustfamilyjusticesystem · 2 years

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Justice not being served in our family justice system

There is a disgusting thing going on in California, and across the country. Children are being left fatherless and left to believe that their fathers are monsters.

I am the wife of a man who has lost his kids to an ex-wife who is a liar, master manipulator, and a multi-felon. My husband hasn't had any contact with kids in 6 years.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

This is my husband's story to tell so I won't get deep into his story but I will skim the surface to give you a glimpse into the California Family Court System. The venomous, vipers called judges, attorneys and clients. My husband was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few years back. If you know anything about bipolar then you know that when untreated and unmedicated things can get quite obscure and crazy. When I use the term "crazy" I mean "crazy" in the real sense of the word. My husband would have delusions and outbursts. He would also get paranoid. People with bipolar disorder can be abusive at times both verbally and physically. A lot of times they may even become what is called hypo or hyper-sexual and stray from the marriage.

Their marriage was on very rocky ground and when they decided to divorce they agreed AND signed court documents that stated they would share custody. My husband ended up being homeless off and on for a few years and lost contact with any and all people who he thought cared about him. His family went against him and left him to his own devices with no support whatsoever. The divorce ruined him.

His guilt got the best of him and so he decided to tell his ex-wife that he cheated on her... a side note, (his cheating did not occur with me. I didn't meet him until years later). That is when the lies and manipulation began. She decided to go begin working for a law firm to gain inside information about the court system.

A little back story...the ex-wife's mother and one of her friends, at the time, both used the family court system to keep the kids from their fathers. Her mom did it. Her friend did it. Why wouldn't she? She saw that it worked.

The sick thing is that the court has allowed this to happen to many fathers. The men are left to be raped time and time again by the very system that is set in place to protect not only families, children but also the fathers. The ex-wife has a long arrest record and is a multi-felon with the latest offense being just back in 2021 and yet the court is more than likely unaware that they are siding with a manipulating, lying felon. She is a career criminal. My husband has been arrested on a misdemeanor many years ago when he was in his early 20s. Her first arrest dates back to 2014.

There are two little girls caught in the middle of all of this left believing that daddy doesn't love them anymore. As far as they know daddy is this abusive cheating monster.Who really wins? Certainly not the kids. This is parental alienation and it is child abuse.

There have been many accusations made against men, my husband being one of them. Some accusations are true but so are very much false and in my husband's case, never proven. CPS got involved and found absolutely nothing!

Now on to the truth about custody issues: The following information is from 85 Secrets Fathers Need To Know To Survive The Corrupt Divorce Courts and Save Their Children;

1. Fathers are 8 times more likely to kill themselves than the mother. (There are approximately 21 suicides by fathers who have lost their children to the other parent because the court system fails to investigate. The judge and attorney play god and listen solely to the mother who is more than likely seeking revenge or at the very least out to hurt the father.)

2. Family courts are run unconstitutionally and unfairly

3. Under the constitution and U.S. supreme court case law, family court judges have no legal authority to assign custody of a child or terminate any parental rights WITHOUT "CLEAR AND CONVINCING EVIDENCE" (a high standard) that a parent is harmful to a child.

4. “Visitation” arrangements are harmful to children. Common sense would tell you bringing up children with 86% female influence and 14% male influence would be bad. Scientific research has now proven this. When children go out in the real world with this limited perspective, they fail.

5. Forty percent of mothers reported they had refused visitation to their ex-husband to punish the father.

6. Men cannot win custody, or even get equal time with their children, without showing that a wife is totally unfit. This is clear discrimination based on sex and is illegal under the highest laws.

7. Mothers often covet children due to fear of economic loss, low self-esteem, and malicious revenge.

8. Today men are guilty of domestic violence and child abuse until proven innocent

9. What is the maximum amount that they can take out for arrearages in child support under the law? ANSWER: The answer is provided in 15 USCS § 1673. Although most creditors can only take 25% of your “disposable earnings,” child support is divided into three categories: 1. If you are supporting others, no more than 50% of your income. 2. If you are not supporting others, no more than 60% of your “disposable income,” unless arrears are more than 12 weeks, which it can go up to 65% of your “disposable income.” Disposable income certainly includes income only after taxes and social security are removed

10. When judges deny proper due process, any order they issue is null and “void” with no legal effect or force. Whenever they refuse to hear witnesses, evidence, or testimony and do not abide by proper notice procedures or other due process requirements, their orders are void

11. BASICALLY FAMILY COURT JUDGES ARE THE MOST PROLIFIC CRIMINALS YOU WILL EVER MEET. They seem to break the law with immunity about every 5-10 minutes on the bench

12. Lawyers want custody battles to drive a $3,000 divorce to a $100,000 divorce when the couple has assets to pay. This profession attracts mercenaries with no morals. Stories of two attorneys sitting down and talking about “how much they can take this couple for” abound

So there you have it in a nutshell. The driving force of the corrupt family courts. These are but a few issues. I will bring more to your attention as I can do more research.

My prayer for doing this is to bring awareness or more awareness to the American people regarding the family law system. I hope to have wives of husbands contact me to band together to try to get legislation changed.

Please understand that I do know that it is not only women who lie and manipulate the family court system, however, I am an activist on behalf of men because I am the wife of such a man that is being kept from his children and has been for 6 years. With no end in sight unless God opens up that door. I am a woman of faith and I am I prayer warrior so I am fully aware that God is much bigger than this situation, the judge, the attorney, or the ex-wife. I have a front-row seat, therefore, I am able to see the lies at play.

May you be richly blessed!

Until my next article please head to https://www.change.org/FathersHaveRightsToo to READ, SIGN and SHARE

#FathersHaveRights #FathersMatter #StopParentAlienation #Family

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i-am-very-very-tired · 3 years

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Angelina Jolie has cowritten a book with Geraldine Van Bueren QC and Amnesty International. Know Your Rights and Claim Them: A Guide For Youth “details the rights promised in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, starting with the history of child rights, and providing a clear description of the types of child rights, the young activists from around the world who fought to defend them, and how readers can stand up for their own rights”. It has been blurbed by Malala Yousafzai and Greta Thunberg, two young leaders who know a thing or two about rights, even in the face of those who insisted they were too young to claim them.

In support of the book, Angelina covers The Guardian Weekend, giving her most candid interview in years, and since the book is about children’s rights, the purpose of the book dovetails with her children’s experience. Which, inevitably, leads back to her contentious and ongoing custody case with Brad Pitt.

Angelina explains that for 20 years through her work with the UNHCR and Amnesty, she’s met so many children who “live with the effect of their rights being violated” and “then I had an experience in the States with my own children”. From there, while she cannot discuss her legal situation in detail, she confirms non-verbally again that there was abuse, that she did “fear for the safety of her children”.

This is not new. Nearly five years ago, Angelina filed for divorce from Brad Pitt after an incident on a plane. It has never been made public what exactly happened on the flight but it reportedly involved Brad and Maddox, who was 15 years old at the time. An investigation ensued, and Brad was cleared of criminal wrongdoing, but there’s so much more to abuse and abusive behaviour than what meets the criminal standard. Whatever went down permanently broke the family and, as Angelina tells the Guardian, “I’m not the kind of person who makes decisions like the decisions I had to make lightly. It took a lot for me to be in a position where I felt I had to separate from the father of my children.”

And the “a lot” part of it suggests that while the plane incident wasn’t isolated. Later in the interview, she describes it as an entire decade:

“While refusing to discuss details about her divorce, [Jolie] has said that the experience has been traumatic and has left her feeling “broken”. What have the past five years taken out of her? There is a long pause. She cups her face in her hands, and looks ready to burst into tears. “I mean, in some ways it’s been the last decade. There’s a lot I can’t say,” she repeats. “I think at the end of the day, even if you and a few people you love are the only people who know the truth of your life, what you fight for, or what you sacrifice, or what you’ve suffered, you come to be at peace with that, regardless of everything going on around you.”

Brad and Angelina separated in 2016. Needless to say, problems were building in the five years preceding that. Some of which she alludes to, specifically when talking about Harvey Weinstein, who comes up when she’s asked when she first stood up for herself in Hollywood. Harvey Weinstein is currently in prison, a convicted rapist, and he’s denying the allegations from his jail cell in the most Weinstein way possible – by accusing her of using him to sell books, like Angelina Jolie would have to namecheck Harvey f-cking Weinstein to get her books sold, lol, and also by suggesting that since she’s so beautiful, like, what else does she expect?!

As gross as that is, it’s also the patriarchy, and toxic masculinity. And, devastatingly, enough people buy Harvey’s brand of f-cksh-t rationalisation because, ultimately, the way the system has been set up over centuries, women are not to be trusted. She was assaulted – and it’s being brushed off by her assailant: she’s so beautiful, I couldn’t help myself…so I tried to help myself.

We don’t have to spend any more time confirming what almost a hundred women and so many more witnesses have already confirmed – Harvey Weinstein is a predator. So… why did Angelina’s husband, Brad Pitt, continue working with him, knowing how she felt, to the point where she refused to attend promotional events for Weinstein projects. And remember, back in the time of Brange, they were always a team when it came to press and marketing. With a few exceptions. Clearly Weinstein was one of them.

“Sources close to Brad” tell TMZ, the website that often feels like it’s the voice of the men’s rights movement, that “he never "teamed up" with Weinstein for "Inglourious Basterds" -- he was simply part of a movie that Tarantino directed, which happened to get distributed by TWC.”

In the Guardian interview, though, Angelina mentions another film, Killing Them Softly, that Brad produced and that he approached The Weinstein Company to distribute. The “sources close to Brad” make no mention of that to TMZ. Because, well, those are the facts.

The Weinstein problem, however, was clearly one of many between Brange that resulted in her leaving the marriage and it may have been surmountable as a standalone if not for whatever problematic behaviour he was allegedly exhibiting within the family. Angelina through their custody case is advocating for the right of her children to be able to voice their concerns. Three of the six Jolie-Pitt kids reportedly want to testify, and the judge who was recently disqualified shut down that request.

And so her purpose for writing the book is directly related to her personal situation. The United States has not ratified the rights of the child:

“Discovering that the convention on the rights of the child has not been ratified by the US has given her a sense of purpose: rather than simply fighting for her children, she can see it as a bigger human rights cause. She is trying to put a positive spin on her situation. “It has been so horrific that I almost have to see it as a godsend to be in a position to be able to fight this system. It doesn’t start with the violation [the plane incident]. It’s so much more complicated than that.” She says the lack of ratification has had a significant impact on her battle: “My 17-year-old, for example, has been denied a voice in court.” She is referring her to their son, Pax, apparently one of the three children who would like the opportunity to speak about his family situation and is being told he cannot.

That may change since an appellate court found in Angelina’s favour that the judge had a conflict of interest but just last week, Brad’s legal team appealed to the California Supreme Court to contest that ruling. Interestingly that piece of information dropped just a couple of days before this Guardian interview – and Brad was contacted by the journalist for comment on some of Angelina’s remarks. So he and his reps would have known, ahead of time, that this was coming. Let’s not be so naïve to think that he wouldn’t have been strategising a counter to her claims.

And he certainly has the power to do so. Not unlike Jon Voight, Angelina’s father, who comes up in conversation here, particularly when she talks about her mother not having a voice in comparison to the big Hollywood actor she was married to:

“I realised when I was young, the person who had a public voice had more power than the very kind, decent woman at home doing all the right things and making all the sacrifices.”

Angelina obviously has considerably much more influence than her mother, and yet, even Angelina Jolie has been side-eyed, her motivations doubted, in an industry and a society that is still set up to benefit straight white men.

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fanguine · 6 years

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the reason i'm so invested in pointing out the unfairness in feminism is because every day i see more and more evidence that especially western cultures (coming with western feminism) are using men as scapegoats for anything.

if there's a report about a paedophile you'll instantly think of a gross old man molesting little children, but rarely does anyone pay attention to the cases of adult women raping and abusing boys, playing it off as that they should enjoy it/be happy they got laid instead of recognizing that it's still a paedophile who traumatized (probably repeatedly and many) by sexually abusing them.

when you hear about domestic violence, you’re most likely to think of a man beating his girlfriend, wife, or life partner. so: usually a man physically assaulting a woman. yet many people don’t know that more than 40% of domestic violence victims are men (and those are just the numbers that came forth with the abuse they experienced). not only that, but if they call the police, it’s as certain as death that they’re going to be arrested even though they’re not the perpetuator. recently, shelters for battered men are opening, after an insane amount of time of few to none existing. so what happens? women complain that since male shelters are opening, the money isn’t going to female shelters, of which there are plenty and receive quite a lot attention already. then claim that men could just seek shelter in women’s shelters, which is nearly impossible considering that most male domestic violence victims are going to get laughed at and brushed off, or sent away as they’re seen as a threat, rather than a victim in need of the support that women are granted.

“Maybe I am wrong about this, and maybe this is a super feminist men's shelter. I hope that I am. Even though all survivors of domestic violence deserve safe spaces to heal and services that will help them with whatever needs they have, in a reality where resources are scarce, we need to be careful with what we prioritize. It is also crucial that the gendered aspects of domestic violence are at the forefront so we can attack the toxic elements of masculinity at its roots as we work towards a world without interpersonal violence.”

this is the last paragraph of the link above. to sum it up: women are more important than men, they should be prioritized at all costs, they’re humans of higher value and men are not. instead of just sharing and trying to help everyone, we’re supposed to let male shelters run out of support so that they soon won’t exist anymore, and men are back to having absolutely no support, right? that’s a great priority there, really...

masculinity is also not toxic. it’s been made to be seen as toxic, but the only unhealthy thing i can see here is the extreme narcissism and self serving attitude that comes with femininity (for women, of course, because men who are feminine get called pussies anyway). besides, lesbian couples have the highest domestic abuse rates of all, yes, higher than heterosexual couples, whereas gay couples have the lowest rates, so i doubt that toxic masculinity is really that real. but i won’t be getting further into that.

now, back to the abuse.. we see it in media and in real life: when a woman defends herself from a man who is attacking her, she will be applauded even if she kills him (sometimes especially, but i understand that most people get that sense of “got what they deserved” when such a thing happens).

when a man acts in self defense, he’s called a monster. this is one of the more scary and, to me personally, stomach churning topics. not only does this render the victim helpless and unable to fight back at all, forcing them to bear the abuse. when they do fight back it’s usually because they’re pushed to their limits. just like women, right? except for a few little details, because the woman can accuse the man of having hit her first and the majority of people will believe her and condemn him. she could also call the police, hell, the victim could call the police, and it would be the victim that gets arrested.. not to mention that everyone knows the connotations of hitting girls. the man could get blackmailed, the woman could hurt herself and claim it was him who did it, alienate him from friends and family who want nothing more to do with him, etc etc... not to mention that this “men aren’t allowed to hit women” thing isn’t something that goes both ways. never have i ever heard someone say that women aren’t allowed to hit men, to hurl things at them, and ruin their self worth with verbal abuse.

you see this double standard often. it manifests in many shapes and forms. one of them is that when a man checks his partner’s phone, it’s a red flag (that it is, indeed), but when a woman does it, it’s okay because “she’s just making sure he’s not cheating!” not only am i a firm believer in that if you can’t trust someone, you shouldn’t be with them, but also that this is invasion of privacy regardless of who does it and what gender they are. it’s weird, it’s scary, and a bad sign generally if someone is obsessed with knowing anything and everything you do. it’s not okay for men, so it’s not okay for women either.

another thing would be sexualization and objectification. we’ve seen it everywhere: feminists fighting for women to be seen as more than just sex objects, as people of their own right. this sounds great, doesn’t it? i fully support it! what i don’t support however, is the sheer hypocrisy in it. for every article or story you find about how gross this objectification is, you’ll see one about men’s bulges, stars revealing the size of a man’s penis, and there’s various other examples like women grabbing men’s asses or crotches without a warning, demanding they take off their shirt/show their abs, and so on..

another sexist thing that many will not notice until they go through divorce is how the mother always gets favored when it comes to child custody, regardless of whether or not she is fit to raise a child (or more). around 82.2% of custodial parents are mothers, whereas only 17.8% are fathers. towards the middle/end of the documentary “the red pill” you can see more on this. though i recommend the movie as a whole, which is about a feminist getting involved with the men’s rights movement to find out what they are fighting for, first skeptical, but then realizing that it’s not just a bunch of fedorabros protesting for their right to make kitchen jokes - these are men, people, with legitimate issues that are being shut down entirely by a feminist movement that claims to fight for equality, but really only aims to empower women. in the end, she no longer considers herself a feminist (neither did i, after that movie), and i believe also joined the men’s right’s movement.

now there’s so much more than i have mentioned, this is just a scratch on the surface of a mountain of issues. i don’t believe in screaming the loudest in order to be the most right. but these are real issues men face, and it’s heartbreaking that they get ignored because “women need it more” or “women are more important” or even “men don’t deserve support”. i hope that someone listens.

#feminism #men's rights #men's issues #men are wonderful #it really says a lot that the popular suggestions to 'men are' were #'men are trash' and 'men are slaves'#so im going to add more #men are beautiful #men are important #men matter #men are human #men have feelings

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