#maybe i’ll find it one day

[aimseytv]

my favourite part of streaming is when i say hey gamers and chat says hey and then i immediately explode into a pile of neon yellow goo

#i thought of this in a dream #not sure what it means #is there a hidden meaning? #maybe i’ll find it one day #are we all truly just yellow goo inside? #my identity is meaningless #life is meaningless #i hate planes

[valoale]

I painted Pansy last summer and I realised I never posted it and quite frankly forgot this existed

I like it, though

#I should make more portraits #I had a plan to do a portrait of everyone but then I got unmotivated #maybe I’ll continue my series one day #realism is hard u guys #also I gotta laugh how my art style is so inconsistent like everything I do looks nothing alike #like I’m working on that #curating an art style is difficult man #like there was an attempt #waiting 1 to 3 years and see if I’ll find some consistency #hp #harry potter #Pansy Parkinson #Slytherin #the silver trio #vee art

[tessxblxckthorn]

”you gave her a free pass just because you like the way she looks at you!“

excuse me george i love you but have you seen the way HE looks at HER??

LOCKWOOD & CO. | Season One

#don’t know why suddenly tumblr adds glitches to some of my gifs but #maybe one day when i find out why that happens i’ll fix it but for now you guys gotta live with this bad quality i’m sorry #pls don’t hate me #netflix #recommandations #lockwood & co #lockwood and co #l&co spoilers #l&co. netflix #l&co edit #anthony lockwood #lockwood x lucy #lockyle #lucy carlyle #george cubbins #george karim #my gifs

[pininiu]

Got stressed so I drew the BP LIs while imagining them say comforting words

NakedToaster: “I knew you could do it, honey.”

Quest: “Looks like angel deserves a well-earned rest.”

nightowl: “My cutie is always so amazing!”

xyx: “Never doubted your abilities, love.”

#blooming panic #nightowl blooming panic #nakedtoaster blooming panic #quest blooming panic #xyx blooming panic #The lines are just what I was imagining them say while I was drawing #I’m trying out some brushes for rendering #one day I’ll find a sweet spot #or maybe not #keeps the art process fun #and tedious at the same time

[catmanbowser]

BART BART BART BART！！！！

I draw him…a lot too…

#bart allen #impulse #dc #catman's art #all the barts i could find hehe #in my folder #i know i draw kon a lot but i have him too #lots and lots of he #maybe i’ll render he one day #the guy ever #this is for the bart people out there (looking at 3 people i know) #bartple #barple #<- bart people #i want to draw more bart but </3 busy

[nightswatchdisbandmentera]

A big part of the reason why I’ve always been rather unconvinced by the theory that Rhaegar carefully and purposefully planned for Jon to fulfill or even be a part of tptwp prophecy is that it kinda goes completely against a very key but underrated theme in Jon’s arc: that he is an unfactored force that often comes in and completely upends the status quo. Jon has always occupied the space of a compromise candidate. Think of the Night’s Watch election. Jon was the compromise, not the main candidate. But because those who could’ve risen to the occasion were either dead, unavailable, incapable of coming to a stalemate, or unwilling to take up the job in the first place, Jon’s name was put forth. Even in him being the KiTN, Jon is the compromise after all his siblings are believed to be dead or unavailable. He’s never in consideration until the very last minute when there are no other options left. So it doesn’t make sense to say that Rhaegar ever planned for him because Rhaegar already had a perfect option: Aegon! Dany’s HOTU vision even shows us that Aegon was perfectly curated to be the promised prince, and he was even given a king’s name to set the stage for his heroic journey. Some people have tried to reason that Rhaegar knew that a child of ice and fire would be the promised prince, but there’s actually nothing in the text to suggest that he at any point stopped believing that Aegon was the prophesied savior. Unless stated in future installments, the text shows us that Rhaegar fully believed Aegon to be the main subject of the prophecy…but as we know, things changed. Rhaegar died, and Aegon died after him. So what else could Jon do but rise and become a compromise candidate, just as he’s always been?

#jon snow #rhaegar targaryen #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #tptwp stuff #have a LOT of thoughts on this subject tbh #but they’re all jumbled rn and I’m tired and can’t think straight as of now #maybe I’ll find time to write more extensively about this with quotes and stuff - one day tho

[flowercrowngods]

ronance yearning hours

Mornings like this are becoming Nancy’s favourite thing, with the rising sun painting the room in golden light that always, always lands on Robin, who usually sleeps long past sunrise when she can. Nancy lets her; there’s nowhere for her to go anyway on this slow Saturday morning in Steve’s house, and the boys will only wake in an hour or so.

Nancy has taken to using that time to watch the picture of absolute serenity that is a sleeping Robin, with her cheek smushed into the pillow and her hair falling over her face in a way that never fails to make Nancy smile.

It also never fails to make her fingers twitch, itching to reach out and brush that hair behind her ear and see if her cheek is as smooth to the touch as it looks.

It gets stronger, this urge, with every slow Saturday morning that she wakes in the same bed as her. The journalist inside her wants to find a better word for it, a stronger one, to avoid repetition and ensure clarity. But all the words are big and carry implications for which Nancy is not yet ready.

She refuses to call it longing, this need inside her to touch and linger. She refuses to call it yearning, the way she looks forward to Friday nights at Steve’s with Robin and Eddie, or the way it fills her chest with excitement and giddiness just to think about sharing a bed and waking next to her and watching as all the things that overwhelm Robin on a daily basis are held off for at least another hour yet.

What’s in a word? she’ll scoff when it comes to interviews and articles and hours of agonising over sentence structure and synonyms.

But it’s on mornings like this that she realises that some words require bravery and tenderness rather than simple contemplation and calculation. Some words take time.

Beside her, Robin sighs quietly in her sleep, and Nancy shuffles closer. Because if she can’t be brave with words yet, not even with herself, she can at least be closer.

Using the momentum of a moment unguarded, her right hand comes up before she can stop it, finding a home on Robin’s cheek as she slowly, reverently brushes the hair out of her face and behind her ear. Her touch is light, fingertips ghosting over soft, warm skin — and feeling that softness upon her touch, she wonders if falling in love with Robin would be just as soft, just as gentle; just as warm.

Not a second later, Nancy pulls her hand away as if burned, her heart racing in her chest as if it were signalling her to run, you should be running, i’m racing like you’re running for your life before you’re caught and found out. Nancy balls her hand into a fist and scoots further back on the bed, feeling a heaviness inside her chest that has only been there for a few of these mornings. A fear. A panic.

Because terrible things happen when Nancy Wheeler wonders about love and touch and tenderness. And worse things still, because it’s not supposed to be like this. Not with Robin.

So she stays on her side of the bed, watching the sun dance along Robin’s skin, her hand still warm, the ghost touch of Robin’s soft cheek still present. And she watches, hand cradled to her chest to stop herself from reaching out again. She watches and wonders if maybe she should start using bigger words, because the pit in her chest is growing larger with every passing second and she needs something to fill it.

~*~

It happens again the next week. And the week after that. It seems like the first time broke something in Nancy, or maybe it came alive, but either way she can’t really stop reaching for Robin now. And her repertoire of words is growing with each Saturday morning, too. Longing, aching, yearning — they are classics. But there’s basking, too. Hoping, wishing, and imagining. God, does she imagine.

She imagines Robin’s lips turning up into a smile with Nancy’s hand on her cheek, she imagines her hand coming up to capture Nancy’s and just holding it. Or an image that makes her heart race again: kisses brushed to her knuckles. Or her lips.

She imagines, and she wishes, and she longs. But there’s also belonging. In fact, there’s a whole novel Nancy feels she could write in those early morning hours. A thousand pages dedicated to all the words that exist around Robin Buckley. Words that live inside Nancy; that part is important.

Four weeks have passed and the feelings have only grown stronger, developed more words that will forever remain between her and the morning sun. And Nancy can’t stop herself from trailing the back of her finger along smooth, warm skin, the touch too light to disturb the sleeping beauty.

Sleeping Beauty, who stills and stiffens minutely, but Nancy is too mesmerised to notice until it’s too late.

“You’ve gotta stop this,” Robin whispers, her voice hoarse from sleep, and Nancy’s heart leaps out of her chest in panic and embarrassment.

“Sorry,” she whispers, pulling her hand back toward her chest. She’ll explain. Robin had something on her face that Nancy brushed away, that’s all. It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s—

“Or I’ll fall madly in love with you if you don’t.”

Oh. Oh?

Oh.

Nancy swallows as her thesaurus dissolves and all words escape her. She blinks. Robin’s eyes are still closed but there’s a shadow of a smile on her lips, dimpling the skin that Nancy caressed just seconds ago.

There is the chance to just ignore that this ever happened, with Robin not looking at her, not making this moment real yet, on the brink of sleep and wakefulness. All she’ll have to do is wait. It’s the best chance she’s ever going to get, to forget about all this and get over it. Over her. Over whatever she has been building inside herself under the light of the rising sun over the past weeks.

All she’d have to do is remain still and silent and wait for Robin to fall back asleep.

But there was something about big words and bravery, and even though her thesaurus has left her and the thousand pages of things to feel, to say, to do, to think around Robin have torn themselves up because they were bleak and bland and not enough, Nancy feels brave on this particular morning.

Because the world hasn’t ended yet in all those weeks that she’s been thinking about Robin. In fact, the world has stopped ending since she started seeing Robin for who she is. And in a world where bravery is not about surviving, it is always about love.

And maybe that’s what she feels, maybe that’s what she wants, what she allows herself to want when she lays her hand on Robin’s cheek to caress the softest skin and gently comb back the strands of hair that are threatening to fall back over her face again. Her beautiful face that’s pulling up into a smile now — and Nancy is not imagining it. In fact, she’s smiling, too. She’s smiling so wide that a tiny little laugh bubbles past her lips.

Robin scoots closer, eyes squinting open now, as if to make sure this is real. As if she’s feeling the same. As if she meant it, what she said just now.

Nancy swallows thickly when Robin tucks her head under her chin, her body curling into Nancy’s, finding one of her hands to hold it. She still feels too raw, too vulnerable, and she wants to ask. Wants to be sure. Wants it to be real.

“Five more minutes,” Robin says, already on her way back to a deep sleep. “And then we’ll talk about this. I’ll tell you all about this girl I like. Think she might like me back. And she’s so warm.” She buries a little deeper into her side to chase that warmth that is now filling her whole body.

And Nancy gasps out a laugh this time, a tiny one, gentle and tender and all those words that are slowly coming back to her now that Robin is curled into her side and holding her hand. Her free hand comes up to comb through Robin’s hair in steady motions to lull her back into a slumber.

“Sleep,“ she breathes. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Robin hums, cuddling impossibly closer, and Nancy feels herself drifting off again, too. With a smile on her face. For the first time in years.

#ronance #nancy wheeler #robin buckley x nancy wheeler #robin buckley #one day i’ll stop being pretentious about yearning hours but i am Not Creative and this was supposed to be just floaty but now it’s #not. because uh. i don’t think nancy pov can be floaty. because that girl has seen too much in a way that she’s not allowed to process #but uh. i’m not gonna go on a nancy rant now. maybe this is as floaty as it gets. maybe i can do better. only one way to find out #anyway nancy is yearning #if you saw this earlier no you didn’t. i hit post too soon like a real pro #does this make sense? idk it was written in a discord group chat bc i’m a madman who avoids documents like the plague apparently #dio words

[everwisp]

my unfinished symphony 🥲

#ever arts #homare arisugawa #i had such high hopes for this piece #i was very excited about it in the beginning and then i just burnt myself out #looking at it still brings joy but working on it on the other hand… #i did take long breaks and yeah just can’t find it in myself to finish it anymore #working on this taught me a lot of things tho 🫡 like patience and working smarter haha #maybe i’ll revisit this one day #but until then we have this unfinished beauty that i dont really mind #just think of this as an unfinished painting found in the attic or somethin #gosh and this was supposed to be a tasuhoma pic too HAHAHA

[mattodore]

therapy dog

#river dipping #matthias evanoff #echthroi #ts4 #ts4 edit #👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 gay ppl here you go #one day i’ll revisit the muzzle pose i made… am lazyyy tho #matthias likes muzzles and gags but has no interest in ears or tails. at least not on himself. so ignore the ears… or don’t 🤷 #don’t go to him for therapy btw he will tell you to [redacted] yourself #i have more screenshots of him in this muzzle + collar combo but i didn’t feel like editing them this morning along with this one #when i’m at my desktop again i’ll reblog with some regular screenshots 👍 #i need to make my own cas poses for matthias already bc i just use these same poses every time lmfaooo #i wish i could remember which cas pose had him kneeling… it’s my favorite one but i didn’t have the patience to find it yesterday #like i was Spiralling and was just trying to feel better by looking at my ocs #which. tbf did work a little bit sadly didn’t fix me </3 #actually feeling more normal now tho #going to rewatch the passenger 2023 dir. carter smith starring kyle gallner and johnny berchtold 😁 #and then i think i’m gonna. read. maybe. or write. maybe. #maybe recolor some shirts for theo’s club wardrobe based on some of my favorite brian molko looks #maybe… actually look at my activity and inbox and stop isolating…… maybe. #idk….. we’ll see #time to go crazy over randy bradley everyone give me some space

[epicthemusicalstuff]

I love that you change your pfp to the newest sagas pics <33

Thanks!!!! I absolutely love all the cover art, and I mean, I am a blog about Epic! What better profile picture to have!!!

#Epic the musical #Epic cover art #The only saga I have never had the profile of was the cyclops saga #And I am sad about that daily #Maybe one day I’ll have to find time to change it to cyclops….

[inverse-problem]

once again yearning for a gay robot polycule. and also make it t4t

#I’ve posted about this before but thinking about this again #I know that to make this happen I have to take steps I am working on it #just gotta find people who are amenable which is intimidating #but maybe one day I’ll manage. holding out hope #inverse problem.txt

[night-triumphantt]

it’s Kiyazan anniversary!! Well, it is an hour before midnight so technically it’s tomorrow BUT that matters not the entire world must know now, immediately, ab the reason @cashweasel and I have moved to the goofy pool

#im gonna be abnormal ab them for the absolute rest of the day #as a heads up #kiyazan #oc: Kiara #yazan hadidi #certified blorbo in law #my art #triumphantt art #anyway back to screaming into the void I’m actually always thinking ab them it’s just a fact of life #the sky is blue and I’m two seconds away from talking ab them #at all times #I should go find that ask game and reblog it again #maybe I’ll answer some #or maybe I’ll answer some without being prompted #it’s their anniversary after all and I didn’t even get to do a completely new art bc school ate me alive and spit me out #it’s fine tho this one is like the pair to the other one #reverse cheek kiss #now they both have one #k BYE #see y’all later when I reblog all their art for the millionth time

[smeegamae]

modern au syl to me is. kaladins online friend that somehow has adolins number even though he’s SURE he never gave it to her

#yeah. #kaladin #sylphrena #the stormlight archive #maybe one day i’ll start tagging all these as modern au so i can find them but for now. they’re in the trenches

[boundinparchment]

Also I’m going to admit it: I found my HSR men. Respectfully: Sunday and Boothill.

I’m sorry to all I disappoint for these choices.

#as always I say ‘I don’t find em that interesting but maybe one of them’ #and then I get converted because of containment chamber chatter about character development #it’s a pipeline and you guys are so good with it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #I’m not actually sorry because one day I’ll write something but for now: enjoyment

[cream-and-tea]

pallas in book one is definitely at it-cannot-possibly-get-worse-than-this ABSOLUTE rock bottom but god. there is such a specific flavour to their despair in book two that only happens because of the realization they have at the end of lay me down. like. how do you move on after admitting that everything you believed in was a lie. how do you live with what you’ve done (with what has been done to you). is it possible to pull yourself up out of the pit you’ve dug. what do you do if it isn’t. what do you do if it IS. and once you look at the damage how do you stop looking. past the first layer of hurt there’s just more and more hurt and you were used by the one person who was supposed to keep you safe to cause even MORE pain and no matter how deep you go none of it means anything! it never meant anything at all!! motherfucker your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#pallas’s whole arc in the first book is getting to the point where they go ‘maybe i? feel bad about all this?? actually???’ #i cannot overstate enough that it takes an entire book to get them to that point lmao #and then it’s like. newsflash buddy now you’ve gotta DEAL with that #it really is the mental equivalent of getting into a hot bath of after being out in the cold for a whole day #and the interesting thing about pallas in the first book and their status as a villian and like. their eventual ‘oh SHIT’ moment #is that pallas doesn’t need to realize that they’re a bad person doing bad things #pallas is VERY aware that they are a bad person doing bad things #it’s actually more about realizing the harm that’s been done to them? like as a human being?? #bc they very much have the attitude of ‘well of course i’m doing bad things i was born as an inherently evil person there’s nothing else #i’m capable of doing the most i can hope for is that someone points me in the right direction and i’ll be able to do the hard things #that other people cannot (and SHOULD NOT) do’ #so THATS the mindset that needs to be unlearned before they can start moving forward? if that makes sense? #less ‘shit are we the baddies?’ and more ‘shit have i been horrifically abused?’ #but then after that realization all the blood they’ve spilled is still there. and they should never have had to do that. no one should ever #have to do that. but they did and now they’re starting to see the full extent of what that means #and they have to find a way to live with it. #and it’s absolutely DEVASTATING. #wip: ghost story #pallas #i’ve been working on the book two outline. if you couldn’t tell. head in absolute hands rn.

[ratskool]

I’m like Johnny Truant in the tags of every goddamn post I make or reblog on this site and I’m not apologizing. If you want me to apologize come over to my house and you can talk to the minotaur about it

#House of leaves #im literally going insane these days I should go back to journaling but I’m also afraid of how far off the deep end I’ll go #Literally I am losing it and I’m being serious #I’m so fucking tired of being lonely and being left out and not being able to make connections #Sometimes I feel as if im doing things without realizing and no one is telling me about it #Other times it feels like I must have something incredibly wrong with my face or body and no one will say anything #People make plans and don’t bother to ask me if I want to join and then when I find out there’s a group chat that all my friends are in #Except me and when I asked if I could join I was given a bunch of reasons that were frankly bullshit why I couldn’t join #Are they talking shit about me? I know everybody there it’s not like I am a stranger #Am I just a stranger in this world as I unllikeable? I try my best to be nice and charitable but what am I missing? #Do I black out and say things and do things? Am I more mentally ill than I know? #The only reason (or one of the very few) why I stay alive is because of my horses because I know they would miss me and I already feel bad #Not seeing them everyday #I’m tired of being the odd one out I’m tired of being entertaining when necessary #I don’t want my only friends to be horses because it further alienates me from the rest of society and I just want to be accepted I’m not #Looking to fit in I just want connection and friendship and I can barely seem to manage that #Maybe I’m just not worth it.