maybe i should make my list of johnshi headcanons hmm
but knowing myself i'll probably end up writing another fic and i just cant do this rn, i have a lot of things to do and one wip already uhhhh
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LMAO
Was trying to think of a low-stakes Steddie fic I could write to nudge myself into the fandom better and came up with this idea for the kids playing MASH with Steve as their victim and adding Eddie as one of his potential marriage partners. I was like, "This is perfect! I don't really care about this idea so if I write and share it and everyone hates it, I won't cry myself to sleep after! I haven't spent weeks with the summary stored in my notes, coming up with little fun or interesting details and embellishments to characterization like I have some of my other ideas, this is fine!"
AND THEN
I was showering and thinking about the idea and some lil interesting details and characterization embellishments floated into my head and by the time my shower was finished about ten minutes later, I was just like: "Oh NO. I CARE NOW."
@ataliagold, please save me from myself.
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Fresh breads actually pretty easy one sec I'll send my easy bread recipe when I find it
-recipe anon
Woah, thanks
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i want to play through the worgen starting zone so bad because it's so good but i hate the female worgen models and never play dudes
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i wish i was the sort of person who gave people i like little things. that's such a pleasant quality to have i just never think of it
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I seriously need to get back to writing
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a part of me wants to try to write even longer fics with a second pov but another still feels unsure about it. but like... they are already character-less because i try to don't put any more descriptions in my requests so i might give it a try...
if you requested a long fic and you don't mind it being written in the second person (i think nobody minds bc it's the most popular thing but idk, you still requested to me so maybe you don't mind the third person) let me know. keep in mind that it's not for sure, if it starts giving me the ick I'll go back to my roots but it's just to make sure it's fine with you
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While is still winter💦, here are some of the pieces I did for the drarry zine @hdwickedwixen . I'm happy I could take part in such a fun project!💕
Probably i'll post later my other pieces :3
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before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.
you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"
and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.
it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.
you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.
in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.
the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.
you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.
after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.
the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.
you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.
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