i love you public radio I love you physical media I love you live music I love you directly supporting artists I love you music as human connection. reblog to explode subscription-based music streaming services
saw mcr in chicago last night and it was literally so traumatizing that i couldn’t even enjoy the show or be happy i deadass hate you psycho animalistic band wagon ass idiot mfs so much thanks for ruining my one chance at seeing and hearing and experiencing my saviors of 10+ years. the band that kept me alive by providing me the emotional stability childhood me needed when everyone else around her was dying and made her feel like giving up too. the one chance i expected to feel the most alive i ever have ended up with me feeling so fucking dead and numb inside. the band whose songs literally filled my lungs with the air i needed to stay alive. and an hour before i was supposed to see mcr you selfish stupid idiots crushed my ribcage and stole all the oxygen i’d been saving for 7 hours standing in that crowd. you crushed my ribcage to the point it couldn’t fully expand and i physically could not inhale or exhale. you crushed me until my descending colon pressed against my equally taut and ungiving abdominal aorta and occluded it until i was physiologically unable to get fresh oxygen to my brain. i was a mere 12 inches and 1 hour away from seeing my band when you stupid senseless fucks ruined everything for me. i was ripped from the barrier and left in an oxygen-deprived mental fog for their entire set. i couldn’t even mouth the words to their songs from 50000000 feet away because the action hurt my ribs and diaphragm too much. god forbid i try to sing along without becoming lightheaded and nauseous because my body was so physiologically traumatized that even breathing without anyone pressed up against me had become painful. i was left in a dissociated state from being pulled out of the crowd until i got home. i couldn’t even drink water because my diaphragm and abdominal organs and aorta were still so traumatized and inflamed it hurt to have anything else inside to add to the excess pressure. i stood like a statue almost their entire set. i felt zero happiness, only immense sadness. i was so numb and dissociated while standing there in the middle of the concert watching the screen and listening to each song that the only thing i could feel were the nonstop flow of tears running down my face at the realization of the horror of it all. at some points i couldn’t even hear the actual music. the only thing i could hear was gerard’s words, as if he were speaking directly to me and it was the only thing keeping me present and grounded and somewhat connected to my body. and do you know????how it feels????? to feel fucking dead inside even though your body’s physically there alive in the same moment as the band that had given you so much life as a kid when you felt like you were dying???? and to just stand there surrounded by a crowd of 50000 people and feel deader than ever??? their music couldn’t even bring me out of this physically traumatized state and just made the emotional trauma exponentiate. i am so heartbroken and feel so defeated and let down and purposeless all over again. i will never have an opportunity like that again and it’s such a fucking hard thing to swallow knowing i couldn’t give my inner child her one chance to be that child again, to feel saved and alive and in love with this beautiful thing life has to offer. i hate all 50000 of you and most of all i hate myself for not being physically strong enough to withstand the physical abuse of that crowd. in conclusion thank u for ruining mcr for me and btw if u have a chance pls go get fucked.
screaming bc theres a song (no i wont tell u what one but its by an artisit i dont listen to rly to much except for the last two days but i do like what of her music iv heard) that like. i rly feel like fits a ship (I WILL DEFF NOT TELL U WHICH ONE !!!!! but its like. not one i rly ship tht much but i do think its cute and im slowly getting more into it) in like. a weird way bc like. im not like omg this song is so this ship its so cute i mean the first time i listened to the song which was a while back when it first came out i was like this feels like ppl r gonna talk abt it w tht ship or like the song feels very like. like a fanfiction to me like generally and to me i feel like its like a modern au fanfic for the ship nd i listened to the song again today nd iv been thinking abt tht but the thing is i looked to see if anyone in any context has put that ship with that song before expecting to find lots of stuff but i literally found NOTHING its ubsurddd !!!
i love 'i tamper with the evidence' so much. what if you wrote an entire song and music video about how you're scared the new guitarist is going to overtake you but you still let him duet with you for a solid 50% of it