snapshot: lucy knows. (270 words)
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The door to Sheriff Truman’s office swings shut. But even after the oak latches into place, Lucy can hear the faint ringing of the telephone, where it rings three times before being picked up.
She hears the sheriff greet whoever is on the other line with his familiar drawl. But after a second, he pauses. Then, Lucy hears him say, in a low voice so affectionate she could imagine his smile accompanying it: “Hey, handsome. Nice to hear from you.”
When Agent Cooper returns from his most recent case two weeks later, he taps her desk gently, asking for the sheriff. He’s wearing his windbreaker layered with a dark sweater and turtleneck. To be quite honest, Lucy thinks it's a nice look.
She watches him subtly check his reflection in the glass of her barrier, the tip of his fingers turning his chin to the side for the briefest set of seconds as he assesses himself. When his gaze locks on hers again, Lucy wordlessly directs him down the hall, and he shoots her a grateful smile before walking away.
The oak door to Sheriff Truman’s office swings open, then shut. Though muffled, she can hear Agent Cooper’s bright voice say something – probably Harry, I’m back – before being abruptly cut short.
When her shift ends, Lucy doesn’t see them come out. She shoulders her purse and pulls on her gloves. Slowly, the lights around the station flicker off, and long shadows fill the small quiet spaces, save for the faint glow sandwiched between the carpet and the sheriff's door.
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LUCY & THE SWANS
BALL, CAPOTE & PALEY
The new FX series "Feud: Capote vs. The Swans" depicts a world that Lucille Ball knew all too well - wealth, fame and celebrity. Although she does not inhabit the New York Society of Babe Paley, Slim Keith, Ann Woodward, C.Z. Guest, Gloria Guinness and others, she and her Desilu empire lie just outside of it - her influence on the era keenly felt.
Episode 1 of the teleplay ("Pilot") begins in 1958, and takes us to the executive boardroom of CBS in New York. There, Bill Paley (Treat Williams) holds forth, a photo of Lucy and Desi prominently hovering over his shoulder.
In this room, the Paley and the CBS brass made programming moves played out on a schedule board. The Monday 9pm time slot is occupied by "I Love Lucy", with a small photo of Lucy and Desi (the same one that hung on the wall) tucked into the title card - as if they needed reminding of who they were! The only slight faux pas is that "I Love Lucy" (as a half hour series) did not run in 1958. Its final episode aired in May 1957. It then became an hour-long celebrity-driven musical comedy hour under the banner of "The Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse." Paley and CBS probably wanted Lucy and Desi for a 7th season, but Desi had other plans. He wouldn't kill the Ricardos (metaphorically) but relegate them to specials, interspersed with Desilu productions of new drama and comedy. It is possible that the action of "Feud" in this scene lies somewhere in that murky period between Desi's plans, and Paley's wishes for a seventh season of the half-hour format.
In actuality, during 1958, the 9pm Monday time slot was occupied by "The Danny Thomas Show" (filmed at Desilu) and "The Ann Sothern Show" (produced by Desilu). Monday also featured the Desilu Western "The Texan," making the only half hour of CBS's Monday primetime NOT created by Lucy and Desi "Father Knows Best."
Episode 6 ("Hats, Gloves, and Effete Homosexuals") set in 1978 includes a luncheon conversation at La Cote that mentions Lucille Ball and Lucie Arnaz. Truman's new boyfriend Rick (Vito Schnabel) is a handyman who once fixed Ball's air conditioner in Palm Springs.
Truman has promised to bring Rick to see They're Playing our Song on Broadway starring Lucie Arnaz. Rick says that he met little Lucie while she was swimming laps.
BILL & BABE PALEY
The power and influence of William S. Paley cannot be underestimated. He literally built CBS (the Columbia Broadcasting System) from a small radio station to a multi-media conglomerate, serving as Chairman for much of its existence. He shepherded CBS from radio to television, and was responsible for giving the green light to Lucille Ball making the transition from "My Favorite Husband" to "I Love Lucy," bringing her real-life husband along for the ride. Without Paley and Lucy, CBS would not have gotten a foothold in an industry dominated by the National Broadcasting Corporation (NBC).
Paley's second wife was socialite Barbara Cushing Mortimer, who he married the year before he met Lucille Ball. Mortimer is best known as Babe Paley, and she was Truman Capote's favorite of the Swans. In "Lucy's Barbershop Quartet" (1963), the group needs to find a replacement singer for the group and Viv suggests the unseen character of Barbara Cushing, who is a soloist in their church choir. Although Lucy, Viv, Thelma, and Dorothy were definitely not swans (more like Danfield Ducks) the writers were tipping their hat to the big boss's wife.
A few years later, in "Lucy Meets Danny Kaye" (1964), Kaye telephones Bill Paley to see if he has any spare tickets for his show to give fan Lucy. The best he can do is tickets to "The Jackie Gleason Show." Paley does not appear, nor do we hear his voice.
In real life, Paley and Ball were both in the first group of inductees to the Television Academy Hall of Fame in 1984. Ball and Paley sat at the same table together at the ceremony.
In 1976, he joined those paying tribute to Lucy on "Lucy and CBS: The First 25 Years." Paley and his wife Babe had homes in Manhasset Long Island, and Squam New Hampshire, respectively known as Kiluna Farm South, and Kiluna Farm North, where they entertained a myriad of celebrities, Lucille Ball among them.
TRUMAN CAPOTE
On screen Lucille Ball had little to no interaction with writer Truman Capote. But in her personal life, Ball was guest at at least one of his lavish parties. Gary and Lucy's photo album included a photo of the Mortons at a December 13, 1975 party hosted by Capote, Allan Carr, and John O'Shea in Lincoln Heights, a wealthy neighborhood of Los Angeles. The 'mug shot' was part of a party game where guests were 'arrested' and forced to pay bail in order to get released. The money was usually donated to the host's favorite charity.
In July 1978, Capote joined Lucille Ball at Westbury Music Fair to see Lucie Arnaz perform in "Annie Get Your Gun".
Capote's one foray into acting was in Neil Simon's Murder By Death (1976), a camp comedy send-up of Agatha Christie-style murder mysteries where Capote played the eccentric host, Lionel Twain. The film featured a few stars with close connections to Lucille Ball.
Peter Sellars (Sidney Wang) starred in Will The Real Mr. Sellars...?, an oddball film from 1969 with a very brief cameo by Lucille Ball courtesy of hidden camera footage.
Elsa Lanchester (Jessica Marbles) famously guest-starred on "I Love Lucy" as a woman who may - or may not be - a hatchet murderess. In 1973, she appeared on "Here's Lucy" as kooky bank robber Mumsie Westcott.
Although screen writer Neil Simon never wrote for Lucille Ball, or even appeared on the same screen with her, they did share credits on two television shows. He was a staff writer on “The Garry Moore Show,” which Lucy appeared on in 1960. Simon and Ball were both featured on “Bob Hope’s World of Comedy” (1976), but were not onstage at the same time. It was Lucie Arnaz who worked closest with Simon. She starred on Broadway in They’re Playing Our Song (for which Simon wrote the libretto) in 1978. She then took over the role of Bela in Simon's Pulitzer Prize-winning Broadway play Lost in Yonkers in 1992.
MISC. SWANS
Vivian Vance doing an in-character commercial for Swan dish soap on "The Lucy Show." Swan was made by Lever Brothers, and was discontinued in 1974.
SWAN SONGS
LUCY: "Would you begrudge an expectant swan her song?"
RICKY: "You seem to forget that this particular swan has no talent." ~ Lucy's Show Biz Swan Song (1952)
LUCY: “It’s time for that swan to hit the come-back trail.”
FRED: “That swan’s got a little ham in it.” ~ The Indian Show (1953)
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twin peaks sexuality headcanons
warning: very long
my god do I have THINGS to say about this show and 99 of them are about albert
so I thought before my feed is entirely twin peaks, I’d give my thoughts on the Outrageous Gay Tension of this show with some context
also ignore my handwriting, I’m very sick at the moment and have taken a lot of paracetamol (be more responsible than me kids)
spoilers for all 3 seasons, sorry
DALE COOPER
he/him
transmasc (FTM)
bisexual
listen. listen. trucoop is real rosencoop is real it’s all real. i love coop more than i can describe (which is weird considering I’m gay) and i heavily head cannoned him as trans and bi the second he drove onto my screen. i think he’d prefer men but women are also his cup of tea, or coffee rather. anyway he deserved better and he deserved to give Harry a little kiss.
HARRY TRUMAN
he/him
cisgender male
bisexual
i originally would have said Harry was gay, but I’m not a big fan of relationship erasure. yes, he is with josie. that’s why he’s bi.
i think Harry would have had a crush on some guys at school but would have bottled it down, until coop came to town, and he suddenly had a gay crisis. if i had to pinpoint a moment, i would say his initial realisation would have been when coop steals his nose (best scene) and he would have come to terms with it by the end of season 1.
even harry is not immune to the eyes of Dale cooper.
LAURA PALMER
she/they
cisgender female (but questioning her identity)
biromantic lesbian
first up, I’d like to give my consolidation to Laura palmer and anyone who may be reading who ever experienced something like her. she is my favourite character, apart from Coop Harry and Audrey, and i think she deserved so much better.
PERSONALLY i think she and Donna had a very strong emotional romance but not necessarily a physical one. i think that her experiences with men caused her to do a big ol’ comphet and assume she liked being intimate with men. in reality, i think she wasn’t actually attracted to them but was doing it, alongside all the canon reasons, to reject her feelings to women.
and James happened, i guess.
DONNA HAYWARD
she/they
demigirl
homoflexible
idk whether i just see my identity in donna, but i think she definitely isn’t 100% female. i can’t explain it at all, but i just get the vibe.
as for her sexuality, obviously she and Laura had their thing, but i think her romantic tension with literally all. the. female. characters. initially made me think she was a lesbian. but, we have the James factor.
fucking James (my reaction whenever he is onscreen btw)
i think that her emotional intimacy to Laura would have naturally led her to the other emotionally intimate person in Laura’s life. i think James is the closest thing she has to Laura left, which is so sad. i love donna, idc what the widely accepted opinion is. i believe the ‘Just You’ song scene is her grappling with her feeling with maddy. i mean tbh if my girlfriend died and then her identical twin came back, i would probably be weird about it too.
AUDREY HORNE
she/they
trans femme (MTF) (i couldn’t fit it on the picture sorry)
biromantic demisexual
AUDREY AUDREY AUDREY AUDREY MY BELOVED
when i tell you i came out of twin peaks 15% gayer it is BECAUSE OF THIS GIRL. i love her storylines, her dialogue, her friendship with coop. it all feels so realistic! and her dancing!
back to the sexuality and gender thing, which is what this post is about, i personally believe her crush on coop came from a place of seeing a happy trans person comfortable in their identity and finding that beautiful. then translating that to love.
as for being biromantic, c’mon. donna and her definitely had a thing going for a bit. her demi sexuality comes from a place of her extreme discomfort in sex work (which is valid if you aren’t demisexual, by the way, but combined with her virginity until she forms a meaningful connection, the pieces fell into place for me. yes i am also demisexual and yes i am totally biased.)
ALBERT ROSENIFELD
he/him (because he is Him)
trans masc (FTM)
gay as fuck
“I love you, sheriff Truman”
I’m sorry??? excuse me?
albert is gay in so many ways it’s not even funny. with coop. with Harry. with gordon in season 3. and my trans headcanon? idk i just sort of vibed with it. normalise head canonning people as gay or trans with no reason.
also i love the idea that Denise, Albert and coop are just a group of trans fbi agents. we already have Mulder from the x files we need more (tell me if you want an x files version of this)
GORDON COLE
he/him
cisgender male
bicurious
i honestly can’t tell if David lynch would curse me for this post or just shrug it off
anyway. gordon didn’t strike me as being particularly fruity until season 3, when he had his whole trans power speech and those weirdly domestic scenes with albert. like, pop off little fbi husbands. i think he’s still working through period-typical biphobia and isn’t ready to say he’s bi. but i think with time he will be.
someone needs to take me away from this show for like a week and sit me down with some literature. I’d just gay headcanon it anyway (looking at you Sherlock Holmes)
BOBBY BRIGGS
they/he
demiboy
bisexual
the more i watch this show, the more i think to myself…”Bobby is…me?”
idk whether it’s dana ashbrook’s truly unhinged and amazing performance, the weird nervous gay energy and the lack of masculinity for a character who would normally be obnoxiously masculine. i love him so much.
i think Bobby would struggle in the gender norms of being the child of a military man. and the sexuality norms of being the “bad boy” in school. i firmly believe that he is bisexual, because let’s face it, everyone in this godforsaken show is bi. find me ONE straight character. ONE STRAIGHT.
SHELLY JOHNSON
she/her
cisgender female
heteroflexible and demisexual
SHELLY IS A LITTLE BIT GAY BECAUSE I SWEAR TO GOD AS I WAS WATCHING THIS I WAS THIS CLOSE (HOLDS FINGERS TOGETHER) TO KISSING MY TV SCREEN.
shelly seems like the sort of person to have been raised with certain heteronormative values. but, i think after going out with Bobby, i think she’d have a little sit and think and say “huh maybe i would kiss a girl.” she hasn’t, yet, but that’s just because her crushes so far have been on men. if she met the right girl, she would.
i think her demisexuality comes partly from trauma and also because we need something in common because, if i haven’t made it clear, i LOVE HER.
HAWK
he/him
cisgender male
gay
don’t be lying about that poetry being for your girlfriend hawk. this is the only character where i will defy canon, fold my arms and say no. i love that hawk got a bigger role in season 3, and i think that based off all i know about him (being the best character) i would headcanon him as being gay. why? idk. look at him?
hawk would totally just rock up one day with a guy on his arm, no explanation, and say nothing until Lucy stumbled into asking him about this guy. and he’d just be like “oh this is my husband. yeah we’ve been married for 6 years. you were at the wedding, we just didn’t tell you it was a wedding.”
iconic.
also i had hair envy the entire show, i wish that when i straightened my hair it was that luxurious.
LUCY BRENNAN
she/her
cisgender female
bisexual
I’m sorry Lucy, no one is THAT frazzled and not sapphic. it’s a rule.
i feel like Lucy would consider herself straight until she was taught about the internet, got a Facebook account, and promptly shut it down, but before doing that saw the word ‘bisexual’ and felt weirdly drawn to it. Andy was, of course, super supportive if a little confused. she’s still figuring it out.
i feel like she’d wear sweaters in the bisexual colours and be very happy whenever someone noticed.
ANDY BRENNAN
he/him
cisgender male
straight ally (but not really)
Andy is straight, but like more in a straight with a question mark way. maybe if he hadn’t dated Lucy, maybe if they hadn’t fallen in love, he would have caught feelings for a guy. after Lucy came out, he did some thinking, but decided to keep it to himself. who knows, maybe his tulpa is “kinda gay” (obligatory Buffy reference)
WE ARE DONE LADIES AND GENTS AND PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT EITHER BUT STILL HIGHLY ESTEEMED.
so, thoughts? I’m gonna do a part two with the season 3 exclusive characters, and some characters i forgot, like Norma, ed, Hank, josie, James….and Wyndam Earl. OH and Denise
thank you so much for bearing with me, and love y’all 🫶
(not as much as I’ll ever love Shelly)
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twin peaks anon here! i know you mentioned liking lee cooper and i would love to hear any thoughts u have on that if youre up for it :)
Sorry this took so long, but the semester is FINALLY coming to an end!
• Ok, so Cooper’s pretty awkward, we can all agree on that, but he’s surprisingly very open with physical affection & such. He often initiates hugs, fist bumps, pats on the back, a nudge to the ribs… it wasn’t long before he found out that everyone down at the station is ticklish somewhere. But all that well-intentioned mischief comes back to bite him in the ass when they start poking & prodding at him
• Harry is the one who worked up the nerve to see if their resident special agent was ticklish & was over the moon to find out he’s indeed very ticklish. Extremely so, even
• He was even more thrilled to find out that he doesn’t fight back at all once you start. He just curls up in a ball & laughs his head off
• If questioned about his lack of defense, he blushes profusely & says he “refrains himself for their own good” cause he doesn’t wanna hurt them
• Lucy LOVES to flutter her nails over his neck & ears cause he has the cutest giggles when you target those spots
•Speaking of, when he giggles his nose scrunched up & he has this million dollar smile on his face & his eyes are squeezed shut & I am sooooooo normal about this
• If you get a good spot he has this hearty belly laugh that’s so infectious & just full of pure joy. Sheriff Truman has been caught with full on heart eyes when this happens
• Ok but we NEED to talk about how he hangs upside down from the ceiling with his damn metal shoes in nothing but boxers & a tank top. Utter lee behavior (yes Harry walked in on him once, of course he took advantage)
• Albert discovered Cooper’s sensitivity years ago while working on a case & has never let him live it down to this day. & since Albert’s already so blunt & a dick he gets mean with 😈
• Gordon also found out pretty early on while working with him & likes to squeeze his sides to make him jump & squeak. Lord help him if Gordon wants to point anything out cause everyone within a 5 mile radius will hear
• If pressed on the subject, Cooper will admit he enjoys being tickled & thinks it’s fun but it’s not something he wants to advertise
• Cooper’s pretty much a walking tickle spot, but his worst ones are his armpits, belly, thighs & knees. You can get him laughing from the other typical spots too
As you can see, I’m obsessed with our most favorite special boy
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