#long covid is fucking awful

[future-mrs-diavolo]

UGH I guess I'm gonna have to get my long covid to somehow fuck off cause WE'RE BEING DENIED DRAG SPRITES.

Gotta do everything myself I swear to fucking god.

#obey me #obey me mammon #obey me asmodeus #i miss making art #i miss a lot of basic things #long covid is fucking awful #so dont expect to see these quickly #i dont know if im gonna be able to sit up much each day

[plutoprophecy]

Dude im gonna be twenty in like. Half a year

What the actual fuck

#Fucking covid man. I feel like im still stuck at like 16 maybe 17. Like i know im older its just. Weird to think of myself as an adult #Like. A functional and responsible adult #Who's a university student #Aging is not scary to me but being perceived by other people is #I might get a bachelors then masters degree in like. Five or so years. And actually start working #Man what the fuck im not ready for that. I want to be an English teacher but the fact that i will be responsible for the education of #children in the future kinda scares me when i think about it. Im just some fucker who likes to draw Blorbos from Things. And elves #Im lich rally just a guy. A creature. Hope im not gonna be as awful as some of the older teachers are lol #long tags #pluto.talkz

[dazais-guardian-angel]

went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠

#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years #not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion #so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all #but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all. #it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid) #and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable. #but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him #i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted #and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried......... #the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms #i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still #and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :))))) #insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case #i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!) #but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man. #it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/ #why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly??? #while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING??? #if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now #but no that's too much to ask from people 🙃🙃🙃 #shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience #and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over #he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday #and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now. #i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again.. #i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh #(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh) #at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*

[plexippusangel]

I either need to accept that I am just a way stronger person than this friend and can handle way more while still being able to engage with the world as a person, or recognize excuses as excuses, accept that I am not valued and be done or. Maybe both. Idk. It might be somewhere between the two. I am just sick of regular life stuff rendering him unable to spend any time with me, and of him being unable to bear any of the details of my life, when I would move mountains to rekindle our friendship. Though I'm starting to wonder if I still would.

#faer personal files #i just. really didn't want officiating his wedding to be our last hurrah of friendship even though i did kind of feel it coming #also i'm really sick of being infantilized for my chronic fatigue i am a grown adult and i know what i'm capable of #ugh. maybe i'm just being awful and not understanding in which case i'm too much of a rancid person to be his friend i guess #but i don't think that's the case #idk i'll never forget when i couldn't see this dude for a year even masked up outside for covid but when another of our old friends came up #from her job doing COVID RELATED CROWD CONTROL FOR THE FUCKING ARMY he went on a hike with her mask off #and i think that says a lot about what our friendship's been for years honestly. if he can't bear my company idk why i try #if i'm just an interesting prop for conversations and occasions but not a friend. i can't accept that #i am an interesting prop for conversations. the disabled genderfluid bisexual genius who lost everything bc of said disability #but i didn't lose everything i just have to fucking rebuild on new ground. and i am doing that. i whine on occasion but i am so strong #and i do know how to interact with people without traumadumping i haven't on him in YEARS but his concept of me crystalized at age 21 #or something like that i guess. idk it just breaks my heart #bc for a long time he was my person. he was the only person who knew the authentic me. more even than my sisters at times. #and yeah that was a little unhealthy but at the time he craved that!!! #and then i grew up and stopped needing him like that around the same time he stopped wanting that and it should have been fucking fine #but like. even senior year of college when i was sick it was already starting to fall apart #like i remember being on a small hike once being exhausted and jokingly being like you gotta carry me back and then being like #no really i might actually need an arm to lean on by the end of this walk if i'm gonna make it back to the car i really don't know if i can #and he said no bc he didn't want to look straight. who the fuck CARES??? i could barely walk i was stumbling my way back annoying him going #too slow. fuck. and that really has been what our friendship has been for years. the minute my house wasn't the most convenient place it wa #more or less dead idk why i keep dragging this horse around #idk why i keep letting him break my heart like this it's so stupid he's never gonna care about me like he did when i was quick and brillian #but never quite as smart as him in his view. fuck him. i'm smarter. just bc i was a little gullible or paranoid at times bc of the #FUCKING CPTSD doesn't mean i was dumber than him. the fuck??? there's something wrong with me i swear idk why i hang on #anyway i'm irritated. but i'm also reluctant to throw away somebody who's seen me through key points in my life. so.

[blujayonthewing]

once again thinking about how never leaving the house or being around other human beings makes you actually insane but also I am living in an era of both widespread disabling plague and near universal disinterest in avoiding plague at the same time

#and even the people who still give even paltry lipservice to covid #friend a month ago: do you want to come over? everyone in the house is sick but it's rsv not covid :) #friend now: I have not stopped coughing for an entire month #not that the lipservice to covid helps either she's been doing karaoke at a local bar every week all year #and anyway it just... feels kinda hopeless regardless... almost all my friends have preschool/ daycare age kids #or rightwing families #or work in schools or hospitals #this has all been true the entire time but now it's also like 'aw is everything okay?' if I wear a mask around them indoors #2021 when 'everyone present is vaccinated' felt like it actually mattered sure was nice #I don't want covid and I very do not want long covid and I STILL do not think that is weird or irrational of me but!! fuck me I guess!! #anyway I'm married and have the internet so I'm not COMPLETELY isolated but I am still... mostly...... you know #and like! okay what is the alternative!! I wanna go to my friends' house and lay on their floor and get jumped on by toddlers #I wanna invite people over for dinner! I wanna have movie nights!! I wanna see and talk to and touch other people sometimes!! #and like... you Need to as a human being. you need those things #I feel like I'm withering away #haha his sucks dot jpeg #about me

[placeinthisworld]

.

#over sharing/ confessional / rant incoming!!!! #besties I am having!!! bad bad feelings like bad feelings lately and….ts said it herself you know when it’s time to go!!! #also tolerate it has been EXCEPTIONALLY all too personal at this point it kinda makes me sick #like I ….don’t know what to do bc I never wanted to be in this position I am even in it just happened…. #and everything during COVID happened so fast and I don’t even recognize that person version of myself anymore and I don’t want to be her #I miss pre COVID me and going out (…and being single I wasn’t even single long enough in my young adulthood!!!!! fuck!!!) COVID changed me #(badly!?!) #I am feel all sorts of stuck which is why I feel like I’m taking the ts aw breakup a little too personally too like ouchie am I looking #at my own future but with less success and $$ obviously like!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not happy and idk how to talk #about it!???!!!!!! fuck!!! #familiarity breeds contempt!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #anyways….gonna try to sleep here tonight and not be angry but once again it’s difficult

[nicelytousled]

:(

#i wam crisps but i dont want to be sick again #i have covid its fucking ruining me #truly in an awe inspiring amount of pain and if i stand up for too long i throw up #loving life loving life

[loveofastarvingdog]

well guys at least i know i don’t have brain fog or any lasting effects from having covid! it’s all just because of my bad sleep and eating habits :)

#timothy's txts. #helpful things to learn at midnight when you feel awful about not being able to memorize a speech for over an hour #that you used to be able to memorize in under a half hour #guy who preemptively feels awful all the time #and then feels awful in the moment #i’m already so sick of tomorrow #and sick of the hope of earlier #because i cant go back and fix it and it’s too late and i am so so sick of it #and i’m sick of being miserable #and sick of sucking at functioning #can’t wait for wednesday. can’t fucking wait #tw swearing #said i wouldn’t go to bed until i got this stuff in so goddamnit i’m either pulling an all nighter and going to work without sleep or i’m #exploding the whole world forever #ask to tag #tw long covid #tw covid

[raeathnos]

.

#it’s been over a year since I had covid #I was diagnosed two months after I had it with long covid (mild thankfully but still) #I think it may finally be starting to get better? #I’m still really tired and achy all the time #and I still have the awful rattling cough #but I’ve felt that in the past maybe like two or three months they haven’t been quite as bad #and then I went into my basement which has consistently smelled like rotting meat after I had covid #you guys #it smells normal #it doesn’t smell like rotting meat anymore #I’ve been down there four times between the last two days when I first noticed #I thought maybe it was a fluke or something #but it smells normal #I wanna cry #like holy fucking shit I walk in the basement without feeling like the smell is gonna make me puke #I’m gonna fucking cry am I finally getting better? #when I got diagnosed they said there wasn’t a lot of info and symptoms might be permanent #and like I was lucky cause my symptoms were mild #(never mind actually having covid that fucking hit me like a truck) #but like it’s been over a year and I was resigned to just dealing with it for the rest of my life #I cannot believe #I know I said it seems like the other symptoms are improving #but here’s hoping they fully go away too #I’m gonna fucking cry holy fucking shit

[danmeireader]

.

#ro talks #im worried about long covid :( i'm getting better but now im increasingly getting short of breath D: #theres zero indication for me to get a chest xray but i'm curious (anxious) to know what my poor fucking lungs look like. #every single covid patient CXR i saw was fucking awful

[terriblysheepish]

Does anyone else ever get like super fucked up by the common cold or should I be worried

#I've been having awful flu-like colds for as long as I can remember #Like it knocks me out a few days. I get congestion. I get body pains. I get a fever #I can't get out of bed. I'm tired - and the bad symptoms go away within like 2 to 3 days #But the congestion stays for /weeks/ like 1 to 2 weeks minimum #This has been happening even pre-covid like I just cannot handle the fucking common cold #Therin talks

[the-rat-house]

I am attempting to move focus back to here... starting by doing all the dash games I've been tagged in.

That'll take a bit orz

#ooc #non rp #(am i scrolling through the entire list of tv tropes for one? yes. is it insufferable? yes) #(but i have nothing but time. especially since ive been sick for a week.) #(not covid! took two home tests and got one at the pharmacy that all say im good) #(but tomorrow i am going in to see if it is the flu. which if it is then i can cross that off my bucket list) #(i do not have 'get the flu' on there but ive never gotten it before so new experience! an awful one that costs me money!) #(anyways that trope one should be done tomorrow i gotta focus on something else tonight that list is so fucking long)

[ranger-kellyn]

.

#up way too late bc i'm stressing over having to go back IN to work this week #bc the area director has basically told us 'it doesn't matter how many people get covid we are going back' #and like this is it #i just know this is going to be how i catch covid #i've avoided it this long but this is it #and we dont have admin leave for covid anymore #and like sure i've got leave built up but it's just....it's fucking with my head something awful #head feels like it's gonna explode bc like theres just never any time to recover from ANYTHING #bad news after bad news after bad news after bad news #it never fucking ends #negative

[fantabulisticity]

I have a sore throat and have to quarantine AGAIN ✌️

#so fucking tired #i really hope it's Strep or a cold or allergies or something #i've never had seasonal allergies before so i don't THINK it's that but it's hard to know #so i got swabbed and am waiting for the tests to come back #rapid strep was negative. am still waiting on long strep test and long covid test. #i don't feel too bad honestly my throat just hurts and that's it #i don't feel awful just sore #personal #illness tw

[drtanner]

I'm angry today so you're getting a Rant™.

There's not a single day that's gone by in the last four years where I haven't been viscerally, incandescently furious that so much of the awful bullshit we're suffering through today and will continue to suffer through for the foreseeable future could have been prevented. We could have had cheaply and widely available vaccines for COVID that were distributed rapidly to everyone all over the world, but we didn't get those because a handful of rich cunts didn't want to waive their patents for those vaccines. We could have had a proper lockdown that kept everyone safe for long enough that those vaccines could become effective and the virus could die out, but we didn't get that because it would have made the line of rich people feelings go down too much for a little bit. We could have knocked this on the head in less than six months, we had the opportunity to do that, but that opportunity was stolen from us because the rich couldn't stomach losing even a tiny shred of their profits.

During the one meaningful lockdown we did have, the smog cleared up from a few places but global emissions didn't change at all, because global emissions are almost entirely generated by industry and industry didn't stop during that lockdown. We discovered that remote work was incredibly beneficial to thousands of people and that productivity even improved in many cases while people were working remotely, but now our governments are badgering people to get back to the office because they don't want their corporate rent portfolios to lose value or for Pret a Manger to go under, except in the case of disabled people who are too sick to work, for whom remote work suddenly does exist and means they're lazy and workshy if they don't "do their part". Speaking of which, there are now thousands more disabled people than there used to be, because this virus that we're now pretending doesn't matter anymore is turning out to have devastating long term health consequences like brain fog caused by leaky blood vessels and permanently reduced physical condition similar to that caused by Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. We've had waves of strikes in the last couple of years, which tracks with workers' rights movements in the wake of other, previous pandemics like the Spanish Flu and the Black Death, which were able to take off because so many workers had died or become too disabled to work that those who remained were able to bargain more persuasively for better pay and conditions, but that's the extent of actual change that's happened in the wake of this ongoing global disaster.

We could have knocked all of this on the head back at the start, but this shitty Pandora's Box is now irreversibly opened and we are never going to be able to close it again. We're continuing to be ravaged daily by a disease that is still killing and permanently disabling people but our governments really want us to pretend it's all gone now, while the world around us is actively on fucking fire.

I would like it if people rioted about this.

#Tanner talks

[onlyharper]

A Plea For Help

Hi folks. I try not to post personal posts usually since who wants to listen to that you know. Right now I'm posting because I need help.

My name is Harper and I'm a transwoman who lives in the south and I'm short for rent by about $600 in total. I've been ill on and off for the past two months due to getting Covid again or Long Covid and tbh my mental health has been fucking awful. I rather not be homeless here as it's not safe for me and I've done so much to get this far.

I haven't ate in a few days and I'm not asking for food money. I can go a while without eating. If it goes past the goal, I can But I don't except it. It would be nice though.

Any help would be appreciated. Any at all. Please. I'm begging. I hate asking for things but it would be helpful to me. Thank you. If you can't help. Please like and reblog. Thank you.

P.S. Please ignore the names on the apps. One is a deadname. The other is too not be harassed like I have been before. Thank you. The apps have nicknames since idk how Tumblr is for this stuff.

Peyton Pals: @harphazardly

Venice Monet @mindnum

Cashmere Applications $Generallyalive