#literally got adopted and then had to eat like it was the great depression

[syncrovoid-presents]

Researching for my hazbin fic (A Cannibal's Guide on Living Comfortably) has also made me realize that my adoptive family (and me in relation to my birth family) actually suffer from cultural loss. And this ties to my adoptive family being half french like Alastor.

This is sort of a personal ramble about my experiences and how it relates to cultural loss. Just thoughts I've been having that's making me rethink a lot of things from my life.

(Technically I'm not but that's a whole other thing. I was found as a kid and never allowed to learn about my birth family or heritage so yeah. I'm just whatever people say I am. Means I have double the cultural loss, both from the people that raised me and my own! Yippee! <- sarcastic)

Both my parents are half french and grew up in small communities where there was very very high English vs French tensions. Both of my parents parent's decided that it would be best to give their children the easiest life they could so they raised them as English as possible.

They weren't allowed to learn french and were punished if they tried (both by family and the community. It was a lot worse where my mother grew up), and weren't allowed to continue any traditions, songs, or anything culturally French. Assimilation was the best chance at a future, but meant that they lost all ties to culture that wasn't acceptably English/colonial.

They were born a long time ago, so this was during the era of corporal punishment in school, my mother wasn't allowed to wear pants, my father was punished repeatedly for using his left hand, etc. They were also forced into churches because that's what The Good English Do, even though neither are religious now nor would they have been forced to if the hatred against the french hadn't been so strong.

The small town my mom grew up in had a segregated neighbourhood for the french, and her family fought to cut all ties. Her mother was french but was forced to only speak English and cut all ties to her family.

I don't know as much for my father, but it was his father that refused to teach or share anything French because of the hardships he went through growing up (he also ran away and lied about his age to fight in the war too young, so he likely faced heavy trauma too)

While neither of my parents are half english, they were able to pass as english at the expense of their cultural identity and connection to their family. I've spoken to my mother about it and she says white culture is genocide, but I don't know if she realizes how it hurt her too (not to say the french did nothing wrong. They were colonialists and took part in genocide as well)

It's weird to realize. I was put in french immersion and while my french isn't great, I've realized that my parents did that to give me the only opportunity I could have to learn about their lost culture. They learned a bit from me and would use french words and sometimes share translation quirks their parents had caused by learning english after french.

I grew up thinking that because I don't know anyone I'm related to that i had no culture. I've realized that part of the reason it feels that way is because anything non-English was forced out of people. The more you could pass as english the heavier the assimilation is. To join the oppressors is to sacrifice culture, history, and family, but that's a choice both my parents parent's made and it's one we all struggle with.

As far as I go, I don't know my precise ancestry, but I do know my birth grandparents fled from a country that was dealing with fighting for independence and a highly struggling economy. I'm not supposed to know that or know anything more, but from what I can guess and based on what people have said I look like (closest thing I got) my ancestors dealt with fighting against being colonized for centuries, their culture and history actively being destroyed and demonized, and the language borderline dead because of it (isnt the british imperialism great? <- sarcasm). A bit over a century ago it would have been the cause of much prejudice and hatred, but like my adoptive parents parent's they traded culture for assimilation.

It's.... weird. There's not much I can change nor not much I can do with this information movie forwards. It has helped me connect my experiences more with that of cultural loss, especially those felt by others who don't know any birth family. Because I pass as white (I do not know my genetics, so I'd rather say that than call myself white. Especially because what ancestry I do know I have weren't historically called white and faced discrimination by white folks) I previously thought these experiences could not apply to me.

As a side note, I do hold the belief that orphans like me, or others that lacked any family for much of their lives are part of a "hidden" minority. I faced a lot of extra difficulties, social pushback, and was treated worse than my peers because I am an orphan, as did different foster siblings I had over the years. Adoption means either never speaking about my life to pass as "normal" or speak about it and face the consequences. Every person's experiences are different when it comes to this, but it really changed the expectations adults had on me and forced me to be more mature, resilient, perfectionistic and less reactive to my peers. The expectation was if you acted bad you didn't appreciate having a home and therefore didn't deserve it. What others kids could get away with can be what loses your home when you grow up an orphan.

Anywho, circling back to my fic I'll be adding some elements of my experiences in there too. Not as the main focus, mind you, but some of the struggles of adapting/assimilating to the majority to avoid discrimination will be present (as well as some French (more focused on Creole French history. It was something a few of my french teachers focused a lot on) ). Just background info, I'm as of yet undecided on how much of a character study it will all be, but if it does go into it more then these themes will be present

#syncrovoid.txt #personal #ramble #delete later #to delete later #cultural loss #colonialization #british imperialism #at least mention of it anyways #tw cultural loss #tw foster care #foster care #actually orphan #idk if that is a tag but perhaps others can relate #ignore thos lol ill probably delete later and be sad i shared such personal information #also been thinking about this because my family recipes is just depression era food #literally got adopted and then had to eat like it was the great depression #and spent more years living in unfinished homes than anything else #electricity? a privilege. running water? as long as one faucet works that's good enough. heat? wood fires. food? stole some sometimes lol #upside is that i have a lot of skills and whatnot. downside is that SOMEHOW i grew up like it was nearly a century ago??? #literally didn't get a phone until like 2 years ago #grew up spending most of my time in the woods too. modern world? nope! forest! #ALSO THR LOSS ONE FEELS WHEN THEY SEE PEOPLE TEAR DOWN THEIR FOREST IS REAL AND INTENSE AND THE WORST LOSS I HAVE #also while my adoptive mother doesn't practice vodou she is considered a spiritual healer that shares ties with vodou #it is a closed thing tho. either their own spiritual practice or a cult so. but it doesn't hurt anyone and aims to heal but can be demonized #obviously not the same HOWEVER the feelings of bring in that environment and then suddenly not and realizing that basically no one #knows anything about it? has insulted it at best or will think you're crazy for talking about it? having a different point of view on life #because of it? #like. obviously it isn't the same thing and i can claim not level of connection to vodou nor the history of those who practice #but is sorta get it. kinda. in my own way. it absolutely sucks

[thoughtfulfoxllama]

I wish I could just fully understand and know how to deal with my trauma

Even more than that, I wish more than anything I didn't have to go through the stuff I did. And I'm just mad that everyone I grew up around either actively harmed me, or stood by and let it happen

I never felt safe at home. My mother and uncle were in & out of jail, and drug addicts. My uncle was an alcoholic, who repeatedly attempted suicide in front of me. In the rare event they were both out of jail, they would shout at each other all the time, punch through walls & doors, and in one case, push each other across the room (leading to my mother dragging me out of the house, and trying to make me sleep on a park bench over the night)

And then there's how they'd treat me. If I got bad grades (basically, below A+), they would yell at me, telling me if never be worth anything. My mother told me that I'd better get a good job, so she can have somewhere to live when her mother dies. She lost custody of her little brother because of all the drugs she was on, and just needed to go to rehab for 6 months. I literally begged her, crying to go, but she didn't think it was worth it (showing how much she values us)

My uncle claimed he loved me, but treated me as "one of the guys" (and, I'm just saying, the fact he was in his 30s-40s, buying beer for teens, and letting his 4 year old nephew drink one is sus). That's when he wasn't dragging me out of bed in the middle of the night to eat dinner (giving me horrible rug burn on my chest after dragging me all the way to the kitchen), or burning me with a cigarette

And my grandmother, she basically raised me. She said she didn't want to lose another grandchild (my mother abandoned my sister with her paternal grandparents, and my older brother was taken away because she did Meth when she was pregnant with him). But, she said she'd never stop her from seeing me

The issue is, she neglected me. Anyone who knew me after 2016 knows about the time I had a 104° fever for 2 days straight, and I didn't go to the hospital (thankfully, the fever broke before I did). But the fact she knew her children were delinquents, and still got them to watch me is unbelievable. She continued to let them watch me, even when both of them had restraining orders, because they were too horrible to be around kids. But no one was there to advocate for me, so I had to live through that for 15 years

And then there's the mental stuff. I was horribly bullied at school (and still preferred it to home, which she knew, so that should've told her something), and she didn't question why. I was eventually diagnosed with ADHD & Depression. I'm self-DXed with Autism, but most places won't do adult testing. So, what did my grandmother do: she ignored it. She lied whenever someone asked if I was ever tested for ADHD or Autism (I never was, but she repeatedly said I wasn't). And I don't blame my teachers anymore (because there's apparently a stupid law that they're not allowed to even bring up the possiblity of a kid having some disorder), but I blame her for not caring enough to even look into it. And for instilling ableism I'm me, so I never considered the possibility (well, I considered it several times, but I refused to accept it, because I couldn't bring myself to actually look past my preconceptions until I was adopted)

Eventually, my life settled down when my Great-Grandmother had a fall, and we moved in. She didn't much like me, but we avoided each other for the most part. Then, my grandmother died. She never taught me to live on my own (I couldn't even do laundry). I lost 40 pounds in 2 months because I was just too depressed to eat. I still don't think I'm over it, because even though I'm mad at her, she was the woman who raised me

And I won't deny that religious trauma is real for most people, but the LDS Church helped me alot, and continues to help me. I have a community that actually cares, friends who genuinely like me, and a philosophy & theology that teaches I am divine, worth loving. I have issues with the culture (such as my worth being defined by my work), but ultimately, it does more good in my life

And I don't know how to deal with any of this. I still deal with self-hatred, occasional outbursts (which further deepen the aforementioned self hatred), and a general "eh" feeling (it's way worse without my meds, and I've had a few bursts of real happiness recently)

I don't want to hang on to the past. But I don't know how to deal with everything (because this doesn't even cover it all. I never mentioned things like when I was SAed when I was 5, because it wasn't done by anyone I was related to).

#tw neglect #tw abuse #tw ableism #trauma #child abuse #child neglect #tw sa mention #emotional damage

[billdecker]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

I got tagged by @mashbrainrot (at first I was like who is this?? and then I was like oh it’s you!!!) and I would tag other people but it’s too warm and I don’t know who would want to be tagged so consider yourself tagged

Were you named after anyone? My great-grandma, Sarah-Jane! Although I’m just a Sarah Ann.

When was the last time you cried? Earlier today. A couple of days ago my dad brought around some homegrown potatoes for me so I made an amazing potato salad, bit into it and one of my teeth just crumbled away. I have a big tooth/dental/dentist phobia and they aren’t taking emergencies unless really serious because of the covid backlog, so I’ve got half a jaggy tooth for the next month. So I’ve been pretty much crying every day because my teeth are like a medieval peasant’s anyway because of breakdowns meaning I neglected myself and I just feel very depressed and sad and embarrassed about it all.

Do you have kids? Nope. I have two nieces. Me and D have been together for 22 years and never even discussed it.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? It depends on the person I’m with.

What's the first thing you notice about people? I don’t even know how to answer this one because I don’t meet any new people because I don’t leave my flat lol

Scary movies or happy endings? Seeing as I don’t like scary movies then it would have to be happy endings

What is your eye colour? Blue

Any special talents? Absolutely nothing

Where were you born? Stoke-on-Trent

What are your hobbies? Writing. I’ve been doing a lot of reading this year too, more than I usually do. Gardening! That’s my new favourite thing to do. The patch by my flat is probably only 2m by 1m but I’ve done a lot with it and I have loads of planters too. My instagram this year has basically just been photos of flowers

Have any pets? I have a cat named Cecil who we adopted in 2016. He’d been hit with a white van and suffered a smashed jaw and other broken bones. He was so anxious at the adoption charity that he remained up a corner and nobody wanted him. The charity were surprised we actually wanted him. He’s a gorgeous, neurotic little pain in the arse who threw up this morning because he insists on trying to eat his moulted hair. If I wasn’t living in a tiny housing association flat then I’d have a couple more cats.

What sports do you play/have you played? I used to play football but that’s it. I love watching sports but hate playing them. Absolutely loathed P.E and felt like I’d been blessed when my GP stopped me from doing it at school because I had a growth disease in my knees. Until then I’d literally purposely injure myself to get out of it

How tall are you? 5ft 5.5inches.

Favourite subject in school? History and art. I kinda enjoyed English but the books we read were shit (apart from Adrian Mole) and I really resented Ted Hughes’ poetry. Once I left school to finish my GCSEs at college, I loved English.

Dream job? I used to say to have my writing published but I’d find that far too anxiety inducing because of people reviewing it. Maybe a florist??

#i got tagged!

[howofhappy]

chapters 7-9!

Chapter 7 describes the positives of living in the present. This can be done through flow and savoring. Flow is a state of intense absorbent and involvement in the present moment. A flow state can be described as a natural high. It can only be achieved when there’s a balance between skill and challenge, meaning that if something is too challenging, you won’t be able to get into the flow of it. In October, I tried to get into the programming software Python. I would feel like I was understanding it, but then I would get an error for no reason and all enjoyment would be lost. The challenge was too much for me to actually enjoy and enter a flow state. Reading this chapter made me think back on when I’ve experienced flow states in my life. In 2019, I got really into making yarn crafts, and would spend literal hours straight braiding yarn  to make the perfect macrame wall hanging. Being in that flow state allowed me to focus and kind of meditate. All I was thinking about was braiding and no outside worries could get to me. The author provides multiple ways to increase flow, but I found the sections on adopting new values and engaging in smart leisure to be the most interesting and applicable to my life. By adopting new values and being open to new things, you’re opening up a world of possibilities when it comes to flow states. As you always say, ABL… always be learning. If you “always be learning” (lol) you’re always open to new flow states! I spend the majority of my free time watching the Infographic Show and Kurzgesagt on YouTube, so I am constantly learning new things and get into a flow about it. Smart leisure is when you use your brain during your downtime so that you feel more accomplished after your rest period. In my downtime, I go on a website called Brilliant, where you do daily math, science, and computer programming lessons. Yes, it’s work, but I’m still enjoying doing it in my free time. Another way to live in the present is to savor your surroundings. One can savor something when they step out of the moment and review it. This is like the saying “stop and smell the roses”! Savoring can lead to intense and frequent happiness, more extraversion, less neuroticism, and less depression. Three strategies for savoring that stuck out to me were celebrating good news, taking pleasure in senses, and seeking bittersweet experiences. I had so much fun at my best friend's 21st birthday party. Not because we did anything particularly fun, but because I love her. The entire day was so full and celebrating my best friend, that I savored our moments together the entire day. When it comes to savoring my senses, I feel like Remi in Ratatouille, specifically when he sees the food dancing. By taking time to savor flavors and scents, it makes life feel a little bit more luxurious. I really liked the study where people who focused on the sensory experience of eating chocolate found the chocolate better than those who didn’t do that! Lastly, seeking bittersweet experiences really spoke to me. In high school, I did the musical "Addams Family", and there was a song titled “Happy/Sad” where Gomez was savoring the happy and sad emotions he feels because Wednesday is growing up. I feel this Happy/Sad emotion in relation  to my college experience, because I’ve had great moments, but thinking about it coming to an end is sad. So, I obviously found the study about college students interesting as a senior. Students who wrote about their college experiences and focused on graduation being close showed an increase in happiness and savoring behaviors in their everyday life. 

Chapter 8 spoke about the importance of committing to your goals, mentioned the benefits of adhering to them, listed the different types of goals, and then gave recommendations on how to pursue your goals. People who have goals/dreams are happier because they have something to actively work towards. I won’t list all the benefits for pursuing a goal, but some are that it adds structure to our lives, increases self esteem, and helps us cope. Since I’ve left for college, my mom has picked up so many hobbies and set goals for herself involving them. It was like her goal was raising me successfully, and now that she accomplished that, she had to pick up something else. So, she started to play tennis, pickleball, and began scrapbooking. She has a daily schedule of when she does every one of her activities, and it provides structure in her life. The author lists these types of goals; intrinsic, authentic, approach, harmonious, flexible & appropriate, and activity goals. In 2023, I had goals of doing more community service and reading 12 books throughout the year. I think these goals can be classified as intrinsic and authentic goals. Intrinsic goals are ones that are personally rewarding, so in my case, reading 12 books would be an intrinsic goal because reading more will make me feel more knowledgeable and feel rewarding/accomplished. An authentic goal is one that is rooted in personal interests and core values, so in my case, that would be volunteering more. In high school, I always wanted to donate blood, but my parents would never sign off on it, so volunteering my time by donating blood now is an authentic goal because it reflects what I want to do, not what my parents want. Two recommendations for committing to goal pursuit were owning your goals and taking baby steps. One can own their goals by making it their own. When I don’t want  to study for something, my mom always tells me to “pretend that I like it”, which is basically owning my goal. Studying for an exam is boring, but if I find one thing that peaks my interest, I can become involved and make it special to me. Breaking down big goals into smaller ones also promoted goal acquisition. Seeing things smaller than they actually are makes it more manageable. The book highlights a study where people who broke down their large goals into smaller ones were better able to accomplish their goals and kept up the goal-achieving behavior for six months.  

Chapter 9 spoke about the importance of taking care of yourself, specifically through spirituality, meditation, exercise, and faking-it. Happiness comes from behaviors you do that have a positive impact on your body. We take care of ourselves in order to maximize happiness in our day to day lives. I’m not a religious person, but I can totally see how religion makes people happier. 47% of people who attended church regularly said they were “very happy”, which is amazing considering that it’s nearly half! I used to joke that people who are ultra-religious always seem so happy and if that's the key to happiness, maybe I should start doing that (not really tho). This ultra-happiness may be because of the social support systems that exist within churches and the boost of self esteem one gets from feeling as if they are unconditionally loved by God. On top of this, I think religion makes people happier because it provides a sense of comfort that there is someone looking out for you. I am more of a spiritual person. I have my fair share of crystals, I meditate, and I like to think the universe has unconditional power. Spirituality is the search for something that is larger than oneself, and in my mind, that is the Universe. Part of spirituality is sanctifying everyday behaviors, which is something I do. When I go into nature, meditate, and read, and take it as a time to reconnect with the Universe and recharge. That is a sacred act in my mind, so it makes it more significant and important to me. Meditation is also mentioned as a way of taking care of yourself. The goals of meditation are to be non judgemental, non striving, patient, trusting, open, and to let go. Meditation is something that I practice and encourage others to do, even though it’s difficult. People who meditate have higher levels of relaxation and are more aware/alert. Neurologically, these people also experience more activity in their left prefrontal cortex. In my experience, meditation helps my body and brain recover. We spend so much of our time thinking about everything, that it feels good to have 20 minutes of quite literally nothing. 

[recovering-from-depressi0n]

October 24

Hi, it's me. It's been almost a year, and everything's still practically the same or worse, for an instance I'm back at my mom's. I needed to due to my health which is pretty deteriorating. I might have lupus, tomorrow I'm seeing the neurologist and she talked to the rheumatologist so there's that. I can bearly eat. I cut my hair, I loves my long long hair, but as they say, resentment is stocked at the hair, and it was really showing. I'm sad about that, it will take around five years for it to grow back ad before. I started talking back to Patrick, it's been a wreck, we fight a lot and I stop talking to him and he always comes back but he's not really there but he wants me to be there, it's not healthy for neither of us. It gives me so much anxiety. There's another situation, I got into a fight with my dad's girlfriend, she started it, it was the first time something like this happened, she finally showed her true colors and I told my dad I never want to see her again, so now I cannot go to the lakehouse when they both go, and it's been more that a month that I haven't visited. So that's breaking my heart. Also, güerito died and I was and still am so destroyed about it, it was leukemia according to the vet. We adopted three dogs but had to return one because she didn't get along with the rest of the dogs, she was being aggressive. Then there's Moka, uncle Wild gifted him to us, he's got beef with Chato though. I've had multiple fights with my brother, we went out and he drugged me, drugged me bad that I had a black out and I still don't have a clue how did I get home. Then we fought and it got physical and I broke his glasses because of money, he's such a tight ass bitch, he threw the money to my face and started calling me names and other horrible things that I don't even remember because my brain blocks them. On the bright side, I might still be able to finly graduate this year, but the teacher that was my "friend" stood me up and I had to find another sinodal and it took me time and she took more than a month to read my thesis and reply. Also, I stopped talking to my cousin since summer, she promised me she was going to visit and stay for a month and we even had a list of places we were going to visit and shit. And I was so looking forward to it, I was so happy about it, but she stood my up and she told me she was going to come but only for two days but because she was seeing a guy who was visiting the city from Peru, so she wasn't coming to see me, but the guy, so I said fuck it and cut her out. She always uses me and I'm so tired of being disappointed and hurt by everyone I just rather be alone at this point. At the beginning of the year I wrote a lot, I journaled a lot, went out a lot while I was living at my dad's. But that energy along with my health left my body and mind like a bird to the point I can't leave the bed or shower myself. I am really hurting and I'm so depressed but I can't show it, I guess it hides behind my illness, but I'm going through it alone. And it's not only the physical pain but my soul's that makes me feel that it would be soothing and that I deserve it, the calm of ending it all. I just spend my days sleeping, on tiktok and Netflix or just fooling around. I don't talk to anyone, have literally no friends, zero. Not even my German class "friend". I stopped believing on whatever, I feel so alone, helpless, with no idea where my life will point me at. My "best friend" came to visit me to the lakehouse with his fiancé but she I don't know, she expected a better treatment that I could offer, I tried my best with my illness and I don't have a maid, I am a great host that I know. But she didn't have it. She told me she was going to invite me to her wedding and obviously she didn't. We were friends since we were 9yo. So that ended as well. I don't know what's wrong with me, no one stays no one wants me, no one wants to be around. That makes me feel miserable even though I try to look strong on the outside.

I've had great weekends on the lakehouse with my dad and my sister thats what I hold on to. I haven't really fought with my mom and that's a lot. I'm saving money for next year to go on a trip with my sister.

I dont know if I left something out, but that's all that came to my mind and I needed to vent.

[korasonata]

Joe and Cleo model streams extended cut Part 2! (Streams 3 and 4)

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STREAM 3

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Cleo (reading chat): “Be careful with that thing” Im very careful with knives. Except for that time when I wasn’t.

—

Cleo (in response to chat asking about her friend Corpse): Corpse is not my husband. Ok? And they wouldn’t be anyway. Because they.

—

Cleo: I’m very confused Joe. I don’t know how to feel.

—

Cleo: Ok. I can do that. We can do that chat! I believe in you and myself…I- I don’t. I’m not gonna lie, I don’t.

Joe: That’s why you got me here to believe in you!

Cleo: Awww, thanks Joe!

Joe: You’re welcome Cleo!

—

Cleo (reading chat): “Black beer or clear beer?” No beer! I don’t believe in beer, it’s fictional. That’s just how it goes.

Joe: Yeah. Some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you.

—

Joe: One of my viewers asks “are you and Cleo real life childhood friends?” Yes, obviously as you can tell from our accents—

Both: We grew up—

Joe: On the same block—

Cleo: Yeah.

Joe: Uh, along the Thames there—

Cleo: Yes.

Joe: You know, we took different paths in life. Cleo obviously went to university and perused geology and teaching, whereas I ended up with an asbo and a bunch of weird telekinetic powers and things just kind of went wild from there.

Cleo: Yeah.

Joe: But now we’re back together again.

Cleo: Yeah! I mean— I mean after you saved the world a few times. It’s, ah…it’s necessary it— it felt right. To come back together.

Joe: Yep. It’s just— it’s just…it was time.

Cleo (reading chat): You thought Joe Hills was from Glasgow? Oh no no no no no no. No no, same— it’s a cockney accent, can’t you tell?

Joe: Yeah, that’s why I’m so good at rhyming.

Cleo: *snickering* I don’t think they believe us.

—

Joe: What is the British equivalent of a coffee shop?

Cleo: Umm…a coffee shop.

—

Joe: It looks like piece 3/4 will make sense at some point in the future.

Cleo: But today is not that day. And to be honest, tomorrow’s not looking great either.

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Cleo (reading chat): *laughing* Joe thinks everyone is as well adjusted as he is!

Joe: Oh, I’m terribly adjusted! Do not adjust your Joes! It won’t help, we’ve tried!

—

Joe (reading chat): “You all heard Cleo say Joe would look good in shorts right?”

Cleo: *heavy sigh*

Joe: I mean, I’m gonna say, I’m not getting as much exercise as I used to, so it’s- don’t get your hopes up Cleo.

Cleo: I- I-…I mean, there’s only one person I wanna see in shorts and it’s not you, so we’re all good.

—

Joe (in British accent): Spot on.

Cleo: Better. You’re getting better at that you know. You’re not great, but you’re getting better.

Joe: Yeah. Well the thing is I need to be able to blend when I’m there. You know I don’t wanna call attention to myself in my accent.

Cleo: …Joe?

Joe: Yeah?

Cleo: Nothing you ever do is blendable.

Joe: …That explains why I’m so bad at painting. And making margaritas. Just kidding, I’m great at making margaritas. The secret is to get real Cointreau.

Cleo: I…Don’t— I’ve never really had a margarita.

Joe: WHAAAAAAAAAT??!!?!

—

STREAM 4

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Joe: So, I’ve got to cut up the last couple pieces from my fourth page out of 17.

Cleo: Is this where I tell you I’ve got about 6 pages left on the dot?

Joe: Out of how many, though?

Cleo: Out of about…14?

Joe: Wow, so you’re like, halfway there.

Cleo: Well, literally the instructions say I’m halfway there. Although—

Joe: Oh really? They congratulate you on that?

Cleo: W—no, they—they—……thanks Joe…

—

Joe: I bet whoever makes those models, now that you and I are getting them back in vogue, it’s like “oh no! If only I hadn’t sold the last one to Cleo, I could sell 1000 of these today.”

Cleo: I mean, I don’t think anybody in the stream is going to go out and buy one when they’ve seen what it’s done to us. And our souls. Or lack thereof.

—

Joe (reading chat): “If Joe is Jar Jar and Cleo is Padme, who’s Bail Organa?” …I dunno, VintageBeef.

Cleo: *laughing* Just—Just VintageBeef.

Joe: Just VintageBeef.

Cleo: It just is! You and I both know that, so you guys need to know it.

Joe: Yeah, cause like I don’t think Bail Organa had any kids.

Cleo: Yeah he did, he had Leia.

Joe: Well, but he adopted Leia.

Cleo: Ok.

Joe: And VintageBeef seems like, of all the Hermits, the one to most likely actually have the capacity to take on that sort of responsibility? I don’t know…

Cleo: No no, I can— I’m just running through the Hermits in my head, and I’m just like yeah that—that reads. That reads pretty well.

—

Joe (Dude bro voice): Has your heart even been weighed by Anubis, bro?

Cleo (dude bro voice): *laughing* Do you even lift? (Regular voice)…or no. That’s the opposite of what you want to do with a heart…

—

Cleo: I threaten to murder people all the time. One might say it’s part of my brand.

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Cleo (reading chat): “Death threats are Cleo’s love language” *laughing* You’re not wrong.

—

Cleo: I’ve made plenty of mistakes! Learn from me! Like plenty of mistakes, which is why I’m doing this in my 40s. Joe just made his mistakes faster, that’s why he’s doing it in his 30s.

SILENCE

Joe: …Most of the jokes I wanna make about that, I—just in case my kid is tuning into the stream I’m gonna not—

Cleo: *laughing*

Joe: Because I am legally required not to disparage my ex-wife in front of her.

—

Cleo (in response to someone saying Joe’s hands are sufficient): No, my hands are sufficient. Joe has dexterous, wonderful hands. Get it right chat.

—

Cleo (about her Garrus mug): Next stream I shall use this for my beverage which I shall pretend is coffee. Which is what I used to do to the children at school.

Joe: Wait, you would pretend you were drinking coffee? What were you actually drinking? Rum?

—

Joe: My best is still the same, but my worst is getting less bad.

Cleo: That’s depressing and accurate. All at the same time.

Joe (tiredly): Yay! I strive for accuracy in all of my depressing statements. Cause it makes it harder to rebut them.

Cleo (softly and with care): I know.

—

Cleo (mocking people who push boundaries): If you were a PIN, what would you be?

Joe: *laughing* Like a PIN number?!

Cleo: Yeah!

Both: *laughing*

Joe: If you could be any PIN code—

Cleo: If you had an—what—what was your favourite PIN code, for example?

Joe: What’s your favourite 4-digit number?

Cleo: *laughing* What’s the 4-digit number you remember most in the world?

Joe: What’s the easiest to remember 4-digit number?

—

Cleo: I’m not going to get sushi from the Asda!

Joe (voice steadily getting higher): Oh my gosh, I am so glad that my face camera is off when we do those collab streams with Xisuma. Because like *laughing through the pain* a lot of them are just me screaming internally, but I’m not pushing to talk. And the reason I’m not pushing to talk is I’m also kind of screaming externally? And it’s just like, it’s just— *very high pitched incomprehensible gibberish*

Cleo: You—you do wonder sometimes with, with—with him. *laughing* See, thing is sometimes I’m not sure if he’s being serious or not, so—

Joe: If he says that he buys sushi at the Asda, I’m like 99% confident that he’s being serious.

Cleo: *laughing* He’s adorable and needs to be protected from this world.

#hermitcraft #hermitblr #zombiecleo #zombie cleo #joehills #joe hills

[cimmunist]

I did Cimmerian, now it's time for Clef! Like before, the one on the left is my main interpretation and the one I use in mine and my friend's, @bluethepearldiver, AU Gods and Pawns. The one on the right is the @ask-dr-cimmerian version. I put a more detailed overview under the cut, feel free to skip the blog version if you don't want spoilers.

GaP/Main interpretation of Clef:

Species: Immortal human (in most of the versions of the AU)

Age: Unspecified, really fucking old

Gender/orientation: Doesn't use labels, but if I have to specify he's non-binary, on the acearo spectrum and mostly prefers men

Pronouns: Any, prefers he/they

Ethnicity/nationality: Middle eastern, comes from Eden

Job: Department Head of training and development, an O5 or field agent in some of the versions of the AU

Appearance: 5'7'' plus size man, though weight fluctuates during the story, as he forgets to eat during a lot of stress. Two eyes, right is green, left is blue and hazel. Has sharp teeth, covered in scars, the biggest one being the x shaped scar on his chest, later on, gets a snake-shaped scar carved into his right arm. Naturally black/dark brown hair that's greying, uses his reality-bending to make it blonde because he's too lazy to dye it. Always carries around a star-shaped pin.

Personality & health:

Outgoing, charming loudmouth

Lies quite a lot, likes to tell clearly exacerbated stories (people just got used to it)

Cheerful and easily excitable

A huge bastard, loves to tease his friends and coworkers

Not afraid to speak his mind when needed, can be quite abrasive

Avoids confrontation when it comes to personal matters

Doesn't get angry easily, but when he does he gets quiet and stern

Will never cry in public, usually just in private or in front of people he trusts

Struggles a lot with PTSD (which is a problem when you can literally bend reality around you) and later on depression

Relationships:

Love interests: Bright, Kondraki and Cimmerian

Exes: Lilly (abusive + a God, bad combination), Kushim (friend's oc)

Friends: Aaron/Administrator/O5-1A (work acquaintance), Joseph Tamlin (brief old friend), Etienne Baudelaire (old friend, friend's oc), Lilith (best friend), Sophia Light (close-ish work friend), Maveth (friend, oc), Dory (old friend, oc), Lucy (old friend), Raphael (old friend)

Family: Brother to Eve/O5-1B and Kineret (oc, deceased), brother-in-law to Adam, uncle to a bunch of kids including Abel/076 and Cain/073. Had a daughter, Rut, with Kushim and a daughter, Meri, with Lilly.

Trivia:

Mostly known for two things: his great distaste and disrespect to gods, and his talent to almost dying but somehow getting away still alive (lovingly called a cockroach by the grim reaper for it)

Has literally fought gods 3 different times and survived, this list keeps on growing, somebody stop this man

Favourite hobby is probably annoying the death itself

How his immortality works: after he dies his body heals and he comes back to life

Loosely followed the 4231 canon, with some big changes to fit his backstory

Deathly afraid of deep water and drowning (ironic for an immortal)

Literally considered a Saint in one of the religions? Absolutely despises that fact

Real name is Abishai, but doesn't mind going by Abby or any of his many, many nicknames

Actually physically fought Adam Bright before, wouldn't mind doing it again

Very close with his sister

His other sister, Kineret, died saving him. He has major survivor guilt over it.

Actually helped create the foundation, since his sister is the founder, but dipped almost immediately after and started working for the GOC

Rejoined many years later, in exchange for protecting Meri and letting him see her from time to time

Meri was born around the time ancient rome still existed and he was actually able to raise her, they're very close

Met Jack sometime in the 1920s-30s, he was Clef's first real friend in the Foundation

Actually the reason Kondraki got recruited

Contrary to popular belief, he can play on his ukulele very well and can write songs, he just chooses not to

Knows a lot of languages

Both a reality bender and a reality anchor, unable to be affected by other reality benders

Actually is a lot more powerful reality bender than he lets on

Got his X shaped scar on the chest from Lilly

Used to travel a lot and didn't liked to be tied to one spot

Blog version of Clef:

Species: Nephilim, half-human half-angel

Age: 98, looks ~40

Gender: Non-binary/genderqueer

Orientation: Oriented aroace/ ace demi-homoromantic

Pronouns: Any

Ethnicity/nationality: Mixed middle eastern, raised in Cornwall

Job: Liaison for the Ethics Committee

Appearance: 5'5'' plus-sized man. Has three eyes, one right green one, two left ones, one blue one hazel. Has sharp teeth, is covered in scars, the biggest one being an x shaped scar on his chest. Has burn scars on his feet. Has naturally black/dark brown hair, dyes it a lighter colour. He usually keeps his hair in a braid. Flowers grow out of his hair.

Personality & health:

The loud, annoying yet charming bastard of the ethics committee

Has generally a laid back, jokester personality

Very devoted to his family and friends

Not the type to get mad easily, when he does get angry he just gets quiet and stern

Never cries in public, just in private

Little bastard man, loves teasing his coworkers and husband

Struggles a lot with PTSD and paranoid delusions, but is slowly doing better

Relationships:

Love interests: Cimmerian, later on Bright and Iceberg

Ex: Lilly

Friends: Kondraki (old friend), Bright (old friend), Tiffany Okely (work friend)

Family: Bastard child of an angel, raised as an only child of a single mother. Had Epon with Lilly, later on, had an "accident" named Melody with his husband, adopted a step-parent role to Cimmerian's older daughters May and Eliza

Trivia:

Roughly follows the events of 4231

Raised Epon for the first few months to year's of their life before they were found to be anomalous and forcibly taken from him

Regularly checks up on his kid and leaves her small gifts

Semi-omniscient, ever since he was born he could just see and know things others couldn't. Perfectly aware of the fact Cimmerian is a demigod, even before their husband finds out himself. Uses his omniscience to check up on Epon and make sure they're okay.

Used to be very close with Bright before Cimmeriam swooped in and stole the man, slowly rebuilding that relationship

Cannot play the ukulele for the life of his and has no intentions of ever learning

Had a lot of bucket and cowboy hats but gave them all to Melody

Cimmerian made the mistake of allowing them to pick out Melody's clothes when they were little, now they have Clef's sense of style, oh no

Is afraid of water, shouting and slamming things is a major trigger of theirs, they also dislike deer and antlers for obvious reasons

Suffers from chronic scar pain in her legs

They have exactly 0 respect for any of the o5s

One of their hobbies is gardening

Pretty much majority of their scars were caused by Lilly

Alto Clef is their chosen name and god help you if you deadname them

Loves cats, they're her favourite animal

The platonic marriage with Cinmerian was their idea

Child of 001 /J

#scp #scp foundation #spooky arts #dr alto clef #dr clef

[umisabaku]

Could you give us an excerpt of your knb fantasy fic or the really depressing one pls

Also I love your work and am planning to read shine the brightest soon <3

Haha, sure, I can post an excerpt! I posted the opening scenes here a long time ago, but since someone else was asking about Fantasy AU lately I figure there’s no harm in posting another scene. Although we are still a long way away from being done.

Also, thank you! I hope you enjoy Shine the Brightest =)

Here’s a (properly angst-ridden) scene from the second chapter, which is the first KiKasa chapter, with an under the cut for length:

-

Kise looks at the two frozen dinners he has just finished microwaving and he thinks this probably constitutes some sort of child abuse.

How did people do this? Work and come home and take care of a kid? People did this all the time and he literally can’t even comprehend how. And it was expected. This is how mankind continued the species.

His parents did this. His sisters do this. Maybe it’s easier when there are two parents?

He sighs. The larger part of him recognizes that he can’t marry someone just to have someone to take care of his kid, but it’s actually supremely tempting.

He takes one of the microwaved dinners to Yuki’s room, bracing himself before knocking on the door.

“Go away!”

“I have dinner,” Kise says.

The door creaks open and Yuki glowers at him. “You’re kidding me. This again? I’m pretty sure this is child abuse.”

“I’m eating the same dinner!” Kise bristles, despite the fact that he had been thinking the exact same thing.

“Don’t you know how to cook?” Yuki sneers.

“Just take you dinner and be thankful,” Kise growls, shoving the food at Yuki.

“I don’t want it! I’d rather starve!” Yuki pulls his hands back just as Kise lets go and the food splatters all over the floor.

“Goddamn it, Yuki,” Kise says, tired, (So very, very tired), “I’m trying, OK?”

“You’re the worst!” Yuki says. “I don’t want to live with you! I want to live with my uncle!”

“You don’t have an uncle,” Kise snaps without thinking. “If there was anyone else in the world willing to take you in, God knows I wouldn’t have.”

The words hang there for a few seconds, and it’s like both of them can’t believe the words were actually said. Kise is immediately appalled, and he wishes he could rewind this whole day. “Yuki—”

“I hate you!” Yuki says, “I hate you so much! Just die!”

And he slams the door in Kise’s face.

*

Kise sprawls facedown on the coach and kind of wishes he would just die. Failing that, he really wants to get completely shitfaced drunk. But he knows himself well enough by now to accept that’s a terrible idea so he resists.

He rolls over so he can stare at the ceiling. This is not what he expected being thirty would be like. He thinks about fifteen-year-old Kise Ryouta and he wants to sob. That kid had been so confident, so sure of his own greatness. And yeah, Kise knows where it all went wrong, he knows exactly how he ended up where he is today, and he knows he was broken long before Yuki ever came into his life.

All the more reason why he should not be taking care of this kid. Maybe he should see about putting Yuki up for adoption, just about anyone in the world would have to be a better parent than he is.

His stomach grumbles, reminding him that he never actually ate dinner. (It’s still sitting on the kitchen table, cold now and completely inedible). Yuki has got to be starving too.

Kise gets up to try again, intending to make amends. He knocks on Yuki’s door, ignoring the food that is still on the floor (he’ll clean that up later). “Yuki? How about we go to Maji Burger. Or—or you can pick where we eat. We need to talk about things.”

He’s not sure exactly what he’s going to say, but he’s definitely sure that something needs to be said.

“Yuki? Come on, I know you’re hungry. There’s no point in ignoring me, kid, I can stand here all day.”

This is a gigantic lie. Kise doesn’t have that much patience. But it always seemed to work when his parents used it on him, so he thought it had been worth a shot.

When the silence continues Kise remembers he is the adult in this relationship and also that the door doesn’t lock so he grabs the door handle and announces, “I’m coming in—”

—Only to find the window open, and a completely open room.

#Mikki writes #I have asks! and I'm answering them! #this is my anon tag #knb fantasy au will be finished someday #Kuroko no Basuke #kikasa #fic I wrote #fic i will finish one day

[glitterytidalwavedragon]

Sorry All - Things just got out of hand.

How do I put this?

I was in a very bad headspace for many months. I was taking my meds, for those who don’t know, which is many of you, I have depression, anxiety, PTSD and ADHD. This is important as to what happened with my brain, but it is not an excuse either. I try hard not to make excuses and to take ownership for my actions. Yet, there are times when it all gets the better of me.

I know some of you might not ever read this nor care. I am okay with this getting lost in the pile of none anime things I have posted here on tumblr, sometimes these post have to happen just so I can feel better. This may end up as one of them. So let me begin.

As the school year started I planned to wait until the first month of school was over to see how things would go with the new COVID restrictions. I work with special education peoples in contained classrooms. I was not a teacher this year as the classroom I was promised got revoked and I was the equivalent of a paraprofessional. So much for my masters and hundreds of dollars’ worth of state test. Anyway, so I was working, keeping with code and enforcing code. What I and others did not realize was part of the code was not suspending students.

I understood that they had been out of school for a long time and many feel or felt that they needed a ton of supports to get back into school. I get it, TLC was the way to go and keeping them in program as much as possible. But when students leave literal scars, I mean bleeding wounds that healed into scars or getting punched so hard you choke back vomit, something needed to be done.

But nothing was.

I and others became punching bags. We would get hit with desk, tables and chairs and those same peoples would receive an iPad and sent back to class where they would repeat this over and over. We had students tell us they knew if they acted this way they would get what they wanted.

It was hell and there was no other job. This job was the only job we had as no one was hiring. Districts laid off hundreds, if not thousands of teachers and other workers. Our job market was flooded with highly educated people looking for jobs. Quitting meant the rent wouldn’t get paid. Food wouldn’t be on the table, and bills would pile up.

Work was hell on Earth and I had little say. We tired speaking out and we were told to suck it up and to be positive. We lost so many staff from this, including the teacher who mentored me for nearly six years.

Then there was the isolation. My best friend and I had each other but we missed our families. She was lucky and got to visit hers. Mine rarely called. My relationship with my family is complicated. But it hurts when they get to see each other, visit each other and you rarely get a call. When I tried reaching out I was told to suck it up and be an adult. That no one could see anyone only to find out siblings went across state lines to see friends or do favors for each other. Then I lost a few friends due to falling out.

This and the continue struggle with my sexuality. To put it short, I am bisexual and I have family who believes bisexuals do not exist. We are just people who can’t make up our mind and are the grosses kind of sluts and should figure it out. That fucking sucks. Because sometimes I do think I like women more then men, usually when a guy is being an asshole. But in the end, I love both.

Besides being very loud in their homophobic view, because there is so much more I won’t even touch here, they are also very racist. I am sure I don’t have to explain what with BLM and them. There is just no talking to them in short. So feeling forced by work, my family to stay in the closet and isolated, my mind was just not there.

I began writing more and more fanfic which attacked the reader character or characters. I began expressing hate for myself in my writing. I gain so much unhealthy weight and began skipping meds and starving myself, eating once a day if you even call cereal a meal.

I was just so unhappy that it showed in everything.

I thank whatever higher power for my best friend. I firmly believe it was their faith in me and things getting better as to why I am here today. Also the new kitten which we adopted, cute thing she is. But it got so bad I would break down crying because I thought I was an awful cat mom for not playing with them all the time.

Things are starting to look up, which is great. New job, I got to see my family (reconnected with some at least), consistent med taking and eating better (firstly by eating at all). I never forgot my promises to tumblr, I just couldn’t fill them while so messed up.

My Kaiba fic was when I decided to stop. I began seeing the self-attacks in the sequel and you all deserve so much better than that.

So here is to a new start.

Thank you.

#Fanfic update #fanfiction update #update #what happened #apology #trying to get back into the swing of things #I'm sorry

[onceuponaloonatic]

just a little something i meant to post days ago oops 

Sana should be happy Nico was in such a good mood. The girl had been feeling all the bad vibes her parents had for the past few weeks and it had definitely been putting a damper on her mood. And while Sana had been worried about her, there was too much going on otherwise that she was sort of distracted. But now that her parents had been out for a month with no attempt to contact her, she was starting to feel a bit more comfortable. And now she was just feeling bad for missing out on time with her favorite little girl.

Admittedly, her last few weeks hadn’t been great. Every time she went out she was paranoid she would run into her parents. She would obsessively lock all of the doors every time she was at home, and she had even bought better home security for them. She couldn’t help it, she was so paranoid about everything. Mina and Jihyo had been absolute angels in helping her. Jihyo drove her to therapy and always made sure she was eating enough and doing well. Mina would check in on her every night and hold her when she wasn’t feeling great. Even if Mina was still recovering from her depressive episode, she was still looking after Sana the best she could, and Sana had been so thankful for that. Thankful for her. And thankful to Jihyo too. But during all that paranoia and restlessness she hadn’t been able to spend much time with her daughter. 

Sana would admit, at first Nico being in a great mood had been amazing. She missed spending time with her daughter like this where both of them are able to enjoy it without their minds on something else, but she did get tired eventually. 

“Mommy!” When Sana came to pick Nico up from school, her daughter had jumped on her. Literally. “Oof hi baby.” Sana giggled, instantly moving to hug Nico and pick her up. “How was your day?” “I got jellies mommy!” Nico said excitedly, practically bouncing in Sana’s arms. “Oh yeah? That’s great. Let’s go say bye bye to your teacher, okay?” Sana asked, moving towards Nico’s teacher. “Hello, thanks for all your hard work today.” Sana always said that to Nico’s teacher. Her daughter’s teacher worked hard, and Sana was always sure to thank her for it. “Of course. Nico did great today. During recess we played candyland and then during class Nico won our addition competition. She got every question correct.” Nico’s teacher smiled at how much Nico was squirming around. “Uh-hum! I got jellies!” Nico smiled. “Yeah you did.” The teacher giggled. “Well it seems like today was a great day. Nico we need to get home, auntie Momo is making us dinner.” “Really?!” Nico asked excitedly. “Uh-hum. Mama and Ka-san are both going to be working late and Auntie Nayeon is with your cousins at their grandmother's house.” “Yay!” Nico giggled. “Yup, it’ll be fine. Say thank you and goodbye to Miss Kim, okay Nico?” 

“Bye bye Miss Kim!” Nico said excitedly. “Bye Nico-ya. See you tomorrow.” The teacher waved as Sana carried them out of the classroom. Nico cuddled closer to Sana, wrapping her arms around Sana’s neck. “I missed you mommy.” Nico smiled. “Baby you saw me this morning.” Sana giggled, carefully fishing her keys out of her pocket to unlock her car. “I know. Still missed you.” Nico smiled. “Wel I missed you too princess. Let’s hurry home and maybe Auntie Momo will let us watch Totoro with her after dinner.” Sana tapped Nico’s nose. “Yes! Totoro!” xx 

Momo made them yakisoba for dinner, and Nico loved eating it. Sana was just thankful Momo was able to come over and cook, she hated relying on take out as much as she did when Jihyo and Mina weren’t home. Plus, Sana liked the company. Even if she was feeling better, there was still that paranoia from her parents. So having company really helped lighten her mood. “I heard you got some jellies today kiddo.” Momo mentioned over dinner. “Uh-hum. I got every question right.” Nico smiled, taking another bite of her noodles. “That’s great Nic! Your mommy has always been bad at math, do you like it?” “I teach physics Momo.” Sana rolled her eyes. “I’m great at math.”

“I love math Auntie. Miss Kim says I’m the best at it.” Nico giggled. “That's amazing kiddo.” Momo smiled. “You’ll probably have your mom beaten soon.” “Really?” “Sorry baby. I went to college and learned a lot of math. But if you ever decide you like physics, mommy can teach you it in the future.” Sana giggled, reaching for a napkin to clean off Nico’s face. Nico smiled at her and resumed eating messily. Since Nico was so picky, Momo had made her special yaki soba with just chicken, noodles, sauce, and mushrooms. Nico had recently discovered she loved mushrooms, after finally relenting to trying them when Kazumi convinced her they were going to make her tall. She fell in love and now asked for them in almost everything they made, even if there were times it seemed a bit odd. 

“Mommy said we could watch Totoro.” Nico said after a bit. “Oh yeah? Well I would love to watch Totoro with you.” Momo smiled. “We could get some popcorn, and some jellies.” “Yes!” Nico was practically bouncing in her chair. “Only if you eat all of your food though okay?” Momo prompted. “Okay!” “Momo we don’t have any popcorn or candy, Mina doesn’t like it when we keep that stuff in the house.” Sana pointed out. “It’s okay, we can walk to the convenience store. I’ll pay.” Momo offered. “You really don’t have to-”

“Nonsense. It was my idea.” Momo nodded. “Anyway, Nico be sure to eat all your food so you can have more jellies.” “Okay!”

xx 

Nico was practically skipping the whole way to the convenience store. Sana made sure to keep a tighter grip on her than usual, just to be sure she didn’t run off. After buying Nico’s favorite candy and some microwave popcorn. Momo goes to set up the movie while Sana and Nico make the popcorn. “How come Ka-san doesn’t like popcorn?” Nico asked as Sana put the popcorn in the microwave. Nico pulled on her hand, holding her arms out to be picked up so she could see the popcorn in the microwave. 

“Ka-san doesn’t dislike popcorn, it’s just not good for us. Popcorn is like candy, it’s a special treat.” Sana explained. “Oh. I like popcorn.” Nico mentioned, looking closer at the popcorn. “Yeah me too.” Sana smiled, kissing Nico’s cheek. She didn’t know why, but seeing Nico excitedly watch the popcorn was just making her melt. It was just so cute, she couldn’t help it.

“Pop!” Nico smiled when the popcorn started going off.

“Pop.” Sana repeated with a smile. Once it was ready Sana put it in a bowl and brought it over to Momo, who immediately held up a candy for Nico. “Jelly!” Nico smiled. “Thank you Auntie Momo.” “Of course Nico.” Momo smiled. “Now come cuddle with Auntie.” Nico excitedly climbed into Momo’s lap, Momo wrapping her arms around her. Sana knew what Momo was doing. She and Nayeon had both been looking into adopting another baby recently. From what she understood, they were looking for a kid slightly older than Nico, but Momo was still using Nico as a bit of practice. Their kids hadn’t been little in a while, and Momo had always been self conscious about spending time around kids. Momo always talked about how perfect Nayeon was with kids, and how much she doubted herself. Sana always tried to reassure her that she was great, but even after raising three kids, she was still unsure of herself sometimes. After the movie, Momo has to leave to facetime Nayeon and her kids. 

“Auntie Momo has to go?” Nico asked, hugging Momo tighter. “Sorry kiddo, I need to go talk to Nayeon and your cousins.” Momo explained. “Okay…” Nico nodded. “Here, give the jellies to Neul Unnie, Jae Oppa, and Zumi Unnie.” Nico handed Momo the rest of her bag of candy Momo had bought her. “Oh Nico this is your candy-”

“It’s for Unnies and Oppa.” Nico nodded. 

“Okay.” Momo sighed, accepting it. “I’ll see you tomorrow Sana?” Sana nodded, kissing Momo’s cheek. “See you tomorrow Momo.” Sana smiled. “Bye bye Auntie Momo!” Nico waved, giving Momo a tighter hug before letting go and moving back to Sana’s side. “Let’s go take a bath, yeah?” Sana offered. Nico nodded, practically buzzing from all the sugar she had just consumed with the popcorn. 

This is where things started to go wrong. Nico was on a sugar high, a bad one. And Sana was just trying to give her a bath. 

“And and during class Somi was telling me that she’s going to be Elsa tomorrow! We can wear whatever we want tomorrow!” “Oh yeah?” Sana hummed, trying to get Nico’s strawberry body wash onto her, however she kept squirming, which was making it difficult. “Uh-hum! Can I be Elsa too?” Nico asked. “No no wait, I want to be Totoro!” “You don’t want to be a princess?” Sana asked.

“No totoro!” Nico insisted. “Totoro has big hugs and I want big hugs like Totoro! Or mommy!” “Aw thanks sweetie.” Sana sighed. SHe was running out of energy fast. She wasn’t normally like this around Nico, normally she had an almost endless amount of mom energy. But today, she was just tired. She had been emotionally exhausted for the past few weeks and she had given two three hour lectures today before going to get Nico. And right now, she was just starting to get tired fast. And Nico’s fidgeting was not making it any easier. “And-and I want totoro lunch! With mush-mush, chickin, and rice.” Nico explained. It was adorable how she said mushroom, but Sana was fading too fast to do her normal cooing over her baby. “Okay. We can tell Ka-san when she gets home.” Sana hummed, still trying to get Nico still enough to put her body wash on. 

“Hu-um. And I also want strawberries and watermelon. And and can we see Auntie Chaeng and Auntie Tzuyu tomorrow? I drew a picture of Auntie Chaeyoung’s body drawings! And I want to see Emi Unnie. She lets me draw body art on her!” Sana was happy to see Nico this animated. She was just tired. “I can see if we can go see them.” Sana nodded, finally getting Nico still enough to put body wash on her. Nico was still talking and Sana was just half listening. She knew that was awful, and that’s not how she normally was with Nico. She just wasn’t in the right headspace. Not yet.

“Having fun?” Sana nearly started crying when she heard Mina’s voice. She looked up, seeing her wife leaning against the doorframe to Nico’s bathroom. “Ka-san is home!” “Yeah, I can see someone had a little sugar.” Nico giggled.

“I got lots of jellies.” Nico informed.

“Lots huh? Sounds fun.” Mina smiled. “Now let mommy finish off your bath.” Mina giggled at Sana’s struggle. Nico finally was still enough for Snaa to finish, and once she was done Sana wrapped her up in a towel hug. By this point, Nico’s energy was fading, fast. “Sleepy?” Sana asked, dressing Nico up in her favorite pink pajamas. “Nu-uh.” Nico nodded. “Let’s go see Ka-san, okay?” Nico nodded, following Sana out of the bathroom and towards their bedroom. Mina was on the bed, scrolling through her phone. “Ka-san!” Nico hugged Mina. “Hey baby.” Mina smiled, kissing Nico’s head. “I got this. Go take a rest.” Mina mouthed to Sana. Sana smiled at her, watching Nico cuddle closer to Mina. She nodded, moving to Mina’s other side to cuddle her. “Ka-san, story?” “Sure. I’ll go get one.” Mina hummed. “Be right back.” Nico fell asleep in the middle of the story, cuddling as close to two of her moms as possible. Mina and Sana both smiled, kissing Nico before tucking her into their big bed. “Thanks Mitang.” Sana sighed once they were in the living room.

“Of course.” Mina smiled. “Wine?” “Sure.” Sana nodded. “Still, I love her so much but I’m just- a little tired.” “You haven’t been on mom duty for a while now, it’s okay.” Mina smiled, moving to prepare two glasses of wine. “She’s not too bad though.” “No, just when Momo and I give her candy.” Sana smiled.

“That's why she doesn’t get candy.” Mina reached out for Sana’s hand. Sana held Mina’s hand tightly, giving her a small smile. “She has been doing better lately. She even started eating mushrooms.” “I know. I’m so proud of her.” Sana smiled. “When is Hyo going to be home?” “She said less than an hour.” Mina mentioned. “I can’t wait.” Sana moved to cuddle Mina. Mina wrapped her arms around Sana, holding her tight. “I missed mommy Nico time, but you know what I missed just as much?” “What?” “Misana time.” Sana smiled. “And once Hyo gets here it will be perfect.” “I can’t wait.” 

#twice #misahyo #misahyo au #minatozaki sana #park jihyo #myoui mina #nico #namo

[creativewritingpracticestudio]

Upcoming Fics That I’m Working On:

If it has a line through it, it’s been completed!

Guns N Roses:

Axl Rose NSFW alphabet

Duff McKagan NSFW alphabet

Slash Hudson NSFW alphabet

Izzy Stradlin x Reader smut fic: He gets turned on when you eat a popsicle in front of him.

Older!Axl Rose x Reader smut fic: You’re his younger girlfriend, and the media is saying a lot of awful things that make Axl feel insecure, so you show him that you love him for who he is, no matter what the paparazzi wants to say about it.

Duff McKagan x Reader smut: size kink.

Slash Hudson x Reader(no smut): You and Slash are a laid back couple, and you accidentally forget about Valentine’s Day, so Axl plans a fancy double date for the two of you, and for him and Stephanie.

Izzy Stradlin x Reader x Axl Rose threesome smut fic: Axl’s been flirting with you and teasing Izzy about possibly stealing you from him for the entirety of the tour, so Izzy fucks you senseless in front of Axl to show him who you belong to(also, Axl joins in towards the end.)

Steven Adler x Reader Hurt/Comfort Smut fic: After Steven finds out that his girlfriend cheated on him with Axl, and that it’s been recorded for a song, he’s hurt. So, he comes to you for comfort.

Izzy Stradlin x Reader Hurt/Comfort and Angry Smut fic: Izzy can usually put up with Axl’s outbursts. But when Axl decided to turn his anger on you, that’s when Izzy’s had enough.

Axl Rose x Reader Hurt/Comfort fic: An argument with Axl turns into him confiding in you about his childhood abuse as you hold him in your arms.

Izzy Stradlin x Reader Smut fic: Stephanie wants Axl to go on a date with her, but the tables for two always take forever, so they decide to make it a double date. How? By setting Izzy up on a blind date with one of Stephanie’s friends, AKA you. Izzy’s less than excited, until he sees how hot you are. Maybe the night won’t be a waste, after all.

Older Axl Rose x Assistant!Reader Smut: You’re Axl’s younger assistant, helping him out backstage. But this day isn’t like most others; Axl’s got a little problem, and it definitely requires your help, but it might be a little above your pay grade. (Hint: the problem requires you to do some work on your knees.)

Older! Slash Hudson x Younger!Reader Smut fic: You’re Richard Fortus’s 20-something niece who he brings with him backstage one night to introduce to his bandmates, including the famous Slash. Unbeknownst to him, you and Slash instantly like each other, and begin dating despite the large age difference. It’s a great relationship; the only issue is making sure Richard doesn’t find out.

Slash x Reader Song fic: Based off the song “Do I Wanna Know” by Artic Monkeys; Slash meets the reader at a bar one night and is instantly taken by her; he begins to come see her there every night, even though he knows that it will probably never go anywhere(or will it? You gotta read to find out!)

Older! Duff McKagan x Reader blurb: watching art restoration videos in bed while eating takeout.

Slash Hudson x Reader angst-fluff fic: During a heated argument, Slash says something to you that he shouldn’t have. You get angry and try to leave, but Slash can’t lose you.

Duff McKagan x Reader fluff fic: You and Duff adopt a pig together!!! :)

Duff McKagan x Reader x Steven Adler Smut fic: You and Duff have been together for a long time now, and he finally works up the courage to ask you-will you have a threesome with him and his best friend, Steven? Obviously, the answer is yes, but how will it go?

Izzy Stradlin x Reader Fluff: You meet Izzy after he becomes sober.

Older! Insecure! Izzy Stradlin x Reader Smut: Izzy’s feeling insecure about his age and the age gap between you and him, so you decide to cheer him up ;)

Duff McKagan x Reader Smut: Duff walls in on you looking at porn magazines, and wants to join in. Stuff goes down.

Current! Axl Rose x Reader Smut: You’re Slash’s daughter, and you’re having a secret relationship with Axl. Slash catches the two of you having sex.

Izzy Stradlin x Reader Smut: You and Izzy are two close friends. You’re tired of being a virgin, and you just want to get the first time having sex over with, so he decides to help you out.

Sub! Steven Adler x Femdom! Reader Smut: A self-indulgent fic of mine where Steven finally agrees to let you dominant him in bed. This was literally just an excuse for me to write Steven being all innocent and flustered and shit, btw. I won’t include pegging in this, but I’m really close to writing a pegging fic. This will have degrading, praising, bondage, and basically just you babying the fuck outta Steven while he acts all innocent and confused.

Sub! Steven x Femdom! Reader Smut: Steven likes sitting in your lap, and you like embarrassing him in front of his bandmates. So, when he’s sitting in your lap at a band practice and gets hard, you naturally decide to have a little bit of fun.

Current! Steven Adler x Younger!Reader Fluff and Smut: You’re a younger, famous singer who Steven falls in love with. He decides not to tell you, out of fear that you couldn’t possibly feel the same way, but he actually couldn’t be more wrong.

Current! Axl Rose x Daughter! Reader Fluff: Axl discovers that he has a long-lost daughter who’s been living in a group home, and decides that he has meet her.

Current! Axl Rose x Reader Smut: As was requested, this is an absolutely dirty fic; spit kink, choking, daddy kink, etc. Axl shows zero mercy, and it’s very sexy.

Mötley Crüe

Tommy Lee x Reader Smut fic: overstimulation kink.

Mick Mars x Reader Smut fic: You write him a love letter before every concert, just to boost his self esteem. This time, however, you’ve got a surprise; the letter isn’t as innocent as usual(basically, you sext him through a letter, and he has to read it in front of his bandmates.)

Oblivious!Tommy Lee x Reader Smut: You’re really horny, but Tommy, being his energetic and slightly ditzy self, doesn’t seem to be getting the hints. Guess you’ll have to show him in a hands-on way.

Mick Mars x Reader Fluff fic: Mick’s back is hurting him, so you give him a nice back massage.

Tommy Lee x Reader Smut fic: You and Tommy are a hedonistic couple with one goal: experience as much pleasure as possible without dying. Your relationship is sex, drugs, and alcohol, and that doesn’t change tonight: the two of you go to a party, get high in a broom closet, and explore each other’s bodies.

Tommy Lee Prompt Fic: “Wow, do you want subtlety to go with that makeup look? Because you don’t have any.”

Nikk Sixx Prompt Fic: “Your stamina is admirable. I wouldn’t be able to fuck ten groupies in a row and then still have the energy to get a hotdog.”

Mick Mars x Reader Smut Fic: You and Mick are taking a ride through town on his motorbike, when you decide to tease him, knowing he can’t do anything about it. Just wait til the two of you get home.

Vince Neil x Reader Sugar Daddy Headcanons

Nikki Sixx x Cheating!Reader Angst: A dark, angsty fic about you cheating on Nikki when he’s at his lowest point.

Tommy Lee x Reader Fluff: You buy Tommy some roses as a joke, but he turns out to love them a lot more than you expected him to.

Hanoi Rocks

Andy McCoy NSFW alphabet

Razzle Dingley x Reader Smut fic: kinky cuddles

Platonic Razzle Dingley x Reader prompt fic: “Your stamina is admirable. I wouldn’t be able to fuck ten groupies in a row and then still have the energy to get a hotdog.”

Nasty Suicide x Male!Reader Smut fic: Just sweet, fluffy smut!

All Members x Reader Smut fic: Literally just a gang-bang fic, not even gonna lie. You have sex with Michael, Razzle, Jan, Andy and Sami at the same time, and it’s basically the best experience of your life.

KISS

Eric Carr NSFW Alphabet

Ace Frehley NSFW Alphabet

Paul Stanley x Reader Headcanons-Headcanons about a gender neutral S/O who’s dealing with depression and can’t feel happy or sad.

Bruce Kulick NSFW Alphabet

Eric Carr x Reader Fluff: A cute fluffy fic about you and Eric having a beach day!

Ace Frehley x Reader Fluff: Just you and Ace cuddling and watching movies.

Marilyn Manson

Marilyn Manson NSFW Alphabet

Older!Marilyn Manson x Reader Smut: Hooking up before a concert.

John 5 x Pinup! Reader Smut: Reader looks like Dita Von Teese, and John sees her before a concert and decides to meet her.

Marilyn Manson x Reader x Ozzy Osbourne Smut fic: Threesome.

Dating Daisy Berkowitz Would Include

Daisy Berkowitz NSFW Alphabet

Dating Marilyn Manson Would Include

Daisy Berkowitz x Reader Smut/Fluff: Just you and Daisy doing couple shit, with a little bit of smut.

Twiggy Ramirez x Reader Angst: A songfic based off of the song Mechanical Animals; You and Twiggy are in a toxic relationship like in the song: he’s empty and unfeeling, you’re always angry and explosive, and the only thing keeping the two of you together is drug addiction.

Slipknot

Young Joey Jordison x Reader fic: No smut, just life on the road.

Iron Maiden

Nicko NSFW Alphabet

Ramones

Joey Ramone NSFW Alphabet

Joey Ramone x Reader Smut: An awkwardly sweet fic about you and Joey being each other’s first times.

Joey Ramone x Reader Smut: Based off of the part of my NSFW Alphabet for Joey, where I mentioned his dirty secrets, which are that he likes to be rough/give orders, and that he likes red lingerie.

Metallica

Lars NSFW Alphabet

Current! James Hetfield x Plus Size!Reader Fluff/Slight Smut: You think that no one can pick you up due to your size, so James proves you wrong.

Johnny Thunders

Dating Johnny Thunders Would Include

Johnny Thunders NSFW Alphabet

Poison

Bret Michaels NSFW Alphabet

Skid Row

Rachel Bolan NSFW Alphabet

Snake NSFW Alphabet

Dating Snake Would Include

Scotti Hill NSFW Alphabet

Rob Affuso NSFW Alphabet

Dating Scotti Hill Would Include

Dating Rob Affuso Would Include

Van Halen

Eddie Van Halen NSFW Alphabet

Ratt

Warren Demartini NSFW Alphabet

The Beatles

The Beatles x Reader Fluff/Smut: The four guys pull a prank on you, but it goes too far and they make you cry. They decide to be sweet to you to make up for it..and by sweet, I mean sweetttttt ;)))

LA Guns

Kelly Nickels NSFW Alphabet

Phil Lewis NSFW Alphabet

Kelly Nickels x Reader Smut: Just some nice smut between you and Kelly!

Machine Gun Kelly + His Band

JP Cappelletty/Rook NSFW Alphabet

Nine Inch Nails/Trent Reznor

Trent Reznor NSFW Alphabet

Dating Trent Reznor Would Include

Type O Negative

Peter Steele NSFW Alphabet

Def Leppard

Steve Clark NSFW Alphabet

Aerosmith

Joe Perry NSFW Alphabet

Rammstein

Till x British! Reader x Richard Smut: A threesome between Till, Richard and the reader; they really, really like your accent.

#guns n roses #motley crue #mötley crüe #hanoi rocks #marilyn manson #marilyn manson x reader #marilyn manson smut #axl rose #axl rose x reader #duff mckagan #duff mckagan x reader #izzy stradlin #izzy stradlin x reader #steven adler x reader #steven adler #slash x reader #slash #mick mars #mick mars x reader #nikki sixx #tommy lee #tommy lee x reader #kiss #razzle x reader #razzle #razzle dingely x reader #motley crue smut #mötley crüe smut #vince neil #classic rock

[behind-the-hood]

Hey babes, been a while, huh? So, I've been thinking about how I want to get back into the flow of things, and with that came my update on what all's been going on. And it's a lot. So I'm going to hit the big points and my pets, because they are my babies ❤

So, I got divorced, which was great. He's stolen my half of our last tax return he was required by our divorce agreement to give to me, and kept my stimulus checks, which is not great, and I will be taking him to court when my lawyer says the system isn't as slow as a snail on glue.

I've got myself a new boyfriend. He's...the best thing ever ❤ I don't wanna get too mushy on you guys, but imma marry that man ❤ We've been together for over a year now, and in that time we actually lost his mom...and that one still hurts me. She...didn't die in a pleasant way, and I hate that she won't get to see us get married or see her first grandbaby or any of the things she was so excited to see and do...😞

On a less depressing note, I got a lot of new pets. I got a job at the vet, and day four into my job, a couple of big ol' king shepherds came in; they were strays. (I theorize they came from a puppy mill.) Anyway, I adopted the female, and the male was sent to a shelter for german shepherds. Korra, that's what I named her, started getting fat not too long into my owning her. Or so I thought. A couple months later, I went from owning one dog to owning eleven. She had been pregnant and we were in major denial, lol. Anyway, the birth went well, all the babies were healthy, even the runt was doing good at first. She didn't end up making it, she was half the size of the others and some time into the second day, she stopped eating. Korra was sad when her baby died, but after about ten minutes of leaning over the runt protectively, she let me take her. I don't know if her instincts said it was best for the other puppies or what, but she eventually let it happen. After the eight weeks were up, and with the help of my childhood friend, we got all the puppies new homes. I kept one, named him Mikey. She and her parents kept a couple. She named her puppy Fonzie, and her parents named theirs Butch. All three get to go to the park on Sundays and play together. Korra doesn't go too often because she's protective of Mikey and we're working on that, but for now, she's too aggressive and by no means a small dog, so baby steps.

Edit: Captain passed away in November. It was particularly upsetting to me because he was sick before I left for Arizona for a few weeks, and I wasn't going to go if I thought he wasn't going to make it, but everyone insisted he'd be okay and that I should go. He didn't make it, and I hate that I didn't get to say goodbye...but he passed in his sleep at the vet, and he was on medication that kept most of his pain at bay...and that's probably all I could ask for...because they had called the day before asking if we wanted to have him put down, and we never got to make that decision...I feel like it was better that way...it always hurts more to have to put them down...Edit over.

My boyfriend and I also got a kitten. It's cute; he's never really had a pet of his own before and he's super excited about it. I wish I could describe to you the wonder and amazement on his face when he saw Victor use his litter box for the first time 😂 He just picked right up on it, and my boyfriend was so proud 🥰How we came about getting Victor is a little bit more depressing. Or stressful. I don't know; I'll tell you what happened and you can decided. His mom had a few cats, and Big Girl was pregnant. She had four little babies, one of them being Victor. I kept making jokes about wanting to keep him, but my boyfriend and mom were both adamant that I had more than enough pets--which is fair because I do, lol--anyway, they were hitting about seven or eight weeks old when my boyfriend and I were leaving one morning. He was taking me home before he went to work. He turned on the car and we heard a blood curdling screech from in the hood. I panicked and got out just in time to see a kitten run out from under the car dragging its front paw and trying to get away. I caught him and started panicking and crying because his paw was bleeding and I could see bone and I was just in a frenzie. My boyfriend had to get to work though--sometimes his work ethics are cute, sometimes they are frustrating 🙃--so I called my mom on the way to my house and told her what all had transpired and to have a crate ready because we were going to the vet. She called the vet to let them know ahead of time and when we got there, Victor was immediately taken back and examined. Long story short, the belt in the car had cut through two of his finger bones but the rest of the cut was superficial. They decided he would need surgery and sutures. We agreed, we paid, we prayed he lived through the surgery, and then we waited. Good news is that Sweet Baby lived, he barely had a limp despite almost losing his paw, he hated his sutures, and now he runs around and plays with Theo like nothing ever happened, lol. And my boyfriend just adores Victor, and it's very cute 🥰

Anyway, I couldn't stay at the vet because I kept getting sick and breaking out in hives and, turns out, I'm allergic to nearly everything under the sun except for foods and lizards 🙃 I decided to go into real estate like my mom instead, and I just finished up all my classes and am ready to go into the thick of it!! Wish me luck in that endeavor 😁👍

So anyway, I can't think of anything else at the moment. That's my life update--Oh! I got covid from my mom. My quarantine ended literally two days ago, but I only had a cough. That being said, I've been suffering from a sinus infection for well over a month now, and got my period in the middle of it all, so that was awful 🙃 But! All of this is to tell you that I'm hoping to get back into my writing soon, and can present you guys with all the things I never got to finish or would totally love to start!! 😁

There's no set date on when I think I'll have anything ready, but I'm hoping over the next month or so, I can put out the third part of the Papa Makedon series out. I also hope over the course of the week I can start looking at all the asks I'm sure tumblr never told me I had 🙃

Love you, babes!! I hope you all have kept safe and healthy, and I hope to get back with you soon 😁🤙

---

Here's my sweet girl Korra with all her babies. I believe they were about a couple days old at that point.

And here's my Mikey, as a wee one and as a big boy ❤ He's turning one on August 3rd you guys~ 🥰

And here's little Victor (please excuse the food on his nose, I thought it was adorable, lol. I've just mostly got videos of him, and not too many pictures 😅)

#i feel like everything that needed said was said above #but i like to abuse tags sooooo #heres some pictures of my babies 😁 #enjoy ❤ #life update #bhndthhd

[askintothevoids]

The Epilogue:

Roman and Virgil:

They never did get married, because they didn’t want to. Virgil believes it to be a british social construct to control women and the lower class, and Roman believes marriage to be bad luck.

They did get into that huge funky war that we were talking about, and had to put Babe with Protection. After weeks of convincing, Valentine, Mac-Kenzie, and Junius fought by Virgil and Roman’s side, and they won after 5 years of fighting.

Virgil fulfilled his lifelong dream of making Bonner regret his words, and plunged his mother’s dagger into his chest. Something about Bonner that Virgil never mentioned was the fact that the man often shared the same words as his former husband, so perhaps that fueled his anger. After a lot of crying, Virgil came to the conclusion that maybe he’d leave the fighting to Angie, and hire a royal therapist.

There was more to Virgil’s story than that though, he did raise Babe with his beloved partner, Roman, after the war. He made an excellent father. Anne even came back and apologized, earning her role back into Virgil’s and his son’s life. He even got to see his nephews more often.

Seeing that his son is now only 12 years away from being a full fledged adult (to him that isn’t very long), Virgil now has to see that Babe is very different from other children. Honestly, he never thought his own very very dead mother would be assisting in the parenting of his child, but hey, Virgil has to remember that he isn’t always right, even if he can see the future.

Meanwhile Roman pursued his love for music and theatre, he even opened a music program for Oteriphanne, showing the lovely folks the beauty of music that isn’t just only about killing the French and Brits in order to stop deculturalization of their land (though that’s not a bad topic, Roman literally just wanted 14th century vampires to enjoy Spice Girls and it worked).

He obviously, but admittedly very awkwardly, learned how to parent a child. Roman wasn’t as picture perfect as he would’ve liked to be, he did after all accidentally make his son cry many times. Like Virgil, he now sees that their kid is different. His son’s ears are full of words that he can’t understand, but hopes to try his best to ease Babe’s worries and hardships in life.

Through five years of virgous studying, Roman became a quarter fluent in Pterannan. With even more studying and training, he finally became a fully trained Knight and earned his spot next to Virgil with his forementioned music program (turns out teaching a population several new skills, means he bettered the population which is a requirement to become a king when you're not blood related to royalty).

Still there’s somethings that Roman still regrets, he never did come to an understanding with his stepfather, who was his namesake. Nor does he see Remus and his husband as often as he wishes he did. And he kinda wants to buy a cow.

Even after being together for almost 10 years, they still love each other, and yes, Virgil still calls a phone, a magic box because some things never change.

Patton:

After he and Logan adopted the children from the Dragonwitch au that they accidently orphaned, Patton certainly was trying his best to keep going, and he did a pretty alright job.

Patton single handedly traveled across the country from Florida to Indiana with four small children whose identities he had to hide along his.

Once he had made it to the David-Dase residence, he explained what had happened and asked for help, and here’s what happened.

Nicholas and James owned property in rural Saskatchewan, which they had inherited from Jane Phoebe David (James’ deceased mother) and never really knew what to do with it. So in order to keep their son’s husband and their new grandchildren safe, James and Nicholas let Patton and their grandchildren live there. It was a good spot for them, it kept the reporters away from Patton and kept people away from Daniel, Jane, Harper and Buddy.

After receiving help from James and Nicholas, Patton had to figure out how to explain his disappearance to the police so that he could gain some form of normality, and a good enough job to support his growing family.

Stuff didn’t exactly go well at first. Still grieving over his separation from Logan, he did often find it hard to smile for his children, nor did he find it easy to explain to them that they couldn’t out in public without being hidden from the world’s view. It didn’t help when his O’Pa (Janus Van Den Bosch-Brzozowski) passed away from a deteriorating body, it was for the best, but it hurt to lose another parent.

He kept going though. His brother, Patton Reyes-Baker, moved in with him and got a job helping a local beekeeper. It wasn’t so bad, grief can strengthen some bonds. His step father, Remus, visited every so often, it was clear that he probably wouldn’t be around much longer either.

He’s doing a pretty good job raising those kids. Still it doesn’t help that Patton wishes he did it with his beloved. There have been many long nights of waiting and crying. There’s a good chance that Patton won’t move on until old age, which could be a good thing for a certain someone. Overall, if he were to describe it, it’s like the worst nightmare and the best dream ever at the same time.

Patton did get to open that diner, he did get to take his puppies home with him, and he did teach his kids how to ride bikes (except Buddy), but it still wasn’t the same. For all he cares, he’s still a married man.

Hymnthian:

Being one of the oldest motherfuckers ever, Hymnthian is still kicking it. Under Virgil and Roman’s rule, he’s pretty happy. He does find some common ground with his great (times a couple hundreds) grandchild though. Babe’s remarkable ability to hear the dead often comes in handy for a grieving widower. In return for hearing what his dead wife has to say, he teaches Babe how to play To-Ouch, an Oterian instrument.

Janus and Remus:

As you might've heard earlier, Janus passed away. It’s important to remember that death is an important part of life. In Janus’ case, they were fine with it. After an aspiring career as a ballerina and potter, not being able to use your hands or foot can often be depressing. When their body finally gave out, Janus figured it best if their sister took their place. Janus died comfortably and happily. What else can I say that will convince you? Death isn’t always a bad thing.

Remus O’Malley-Gator was a different story. After the death of Janus, he found himself once again lost. He visited Patton, Patton, and his step-grandkids every so often. Remus spent most of time adventuring, looking for some kind of fulfillment. I suppose that sounds bad, but I always write a bittersweet ending.

Camila and Lotte:

After spending most of her adult life in the void, Camila was beginning to feel hopeless. Her sons were already grown and had found their soulmates, while she had still had nothing. Camila wandered for a while, universe after universe, she turned up with nothing once again.

With Janus having passed, their replacement would soon have to come in. And well, she was certainly surprised. Camila had no idea Janus had a younger sister! Lotte had been frozen for over 200 years, and arrived fresh from the fridge at the ripe old age of 48.

Camila had her fair share of trying to tell this beautiful, intelligent, strong woman that she was from a soulmate universe and that Lotte was her long awaited soulmate. Let’s just say, it took her a couple years.

Lotte had her share of pining as well. I mean, Camila is an equally beautiful, intelligent, strong woman who was tall (every short lesbian’s weakness).

She found her footing as her sibling’s replacement eventually, while she didn’t wield a shepherd's crook but having arms of pure steel sure did come handy when dealing with the dangers of the void.

Eventually, you know that their had to be an equally cute lesbian void wedding, where Patton and Roman became cousins, so that’s cool.

Logan:

As the only void dweller that actually only lives in the void, his life, honestly, sucks.

As the years go by, Logan’s hair only gets grayer and his yearning only grows stronger. He builds his tough exterior up once more, with some dull hope still intact. Logan knows the probability of never seeing his husband and kids again, and lets the gnawing feeling eat away at him.

But you know what? He did get to be cool Uncle Logan (his Ultra Secret Oterian Code Name was Protection) for about five years. He loved the shit out of Babe, even taught that boy some french and how to clear his mind even when people’s thoughts are louder than all shit.

Then he had to give Babe back to Virgil and Roman, knowing he should take the offer to live in Oteriphanne, he did.

Nothing became of it, he’s just a guy in a country full of vampires. There’s nothing there for him after all. Logan knows Babe isn’t his to parent, and chooses to keep his distance so he doesn’t crowd Roman and Virgil. Maybe in a few years, he’ll risk his life. For now, he’ll just become a grizzled middle aged man.

#tw death #tw death mention #tw loneliness #tw war mention

[marauders70s]

a collection of dumb hp-p&r text memes

dumbledore, gesturing: could a depressed person make this???

mcgonagall: your hand is literally rotting off

---

harry: sometimes I feel like arguing with you is like arguing with the sun.

hermione: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I AM SUPER CHILL ALL THE TIME.

---

pansy: you look awful

draco: what up bitch i just ran a 5k

pansy: really?

draco: no i threw up blood in the shower

pansy: that fight with potter really got ya down huh

---

harry: hey ron are you okay

ron, wearing the locket, staring straight ahead at a tree: yeah i'm fine it's just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I'm always tired.

harry: hermione it's your turn

---

sirius, at any minor convenience: everything hurts and i'm dying

---

goyle: I once knew a guy for seven years and never learned his name. best friend i ever had. we still never talk sometimes, because he's dead.

---

oliver: sometimes you gotta do a little work so you can ball a lot.

mcgonagall: that is incorrect

---

james, during house arrest: If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.

lily, from the couch: oops

---

snape, at a christmas dinner: I can still smell her hair at night

dumbledore, pouring a generous amount of mulled wine: Put some alcohol in your mouth to block the words from coming out.

---

ron: hermione, i'm not using your color coded talking planner

hermione: we need to get good grades on our OWLs!

ron: there's nothing that could motivate me to use it

hermione: well, there's nothing we can't do if we work work hard, never sleep, and shirk from all other responsibilities in our lives.

---

harry: Professor, I wanna go home early. Ooh, hold on actually, hang on. Yeah, no, I wanna quit and never come here again.

---

ron: i'm going to tell you all my secrets

hermione: you don't have to do that

ron: I once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks

ron: I didn't actually break charlie's wand all the way I just hid it and forgot where

ron: I don't know who scrimgeour is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.

ron: when they have 2 sickles a scoop on salamander eyes i'm not sure where the rest of the salamander goes

ron: when i was a baby fred turned my teddy into a spider and i got so scared my mum took me to a mindhealer and they wrote a textbook about me

ron: i once threw a garden gnome so hard that it hit my sister in the face and began attacking her

hermione, looking up from her book: what did ginny do?

ron: she bit it and it ran off.

hermione: classic

---

severus: no matter what i do nothing bad can happen to me. i'm like a white wizengamot official who pretended they were mind-controlled after the fall of the dark lord

lucius: I resent that

---

sirius: thank merlin my great uncle alphard just died so I am fluuuuusheeeeeed with galleeeeooonsss

remus: I'm going to regret this flatshare

---

seamus: i passed up a gay halloween party to see this troll. Do you know how much fun gay Halloween parties are? Last year I saw three Peverell Brothers make out with three Viktor Krums. It was amazing.

---

luna: We need to remember what's important in life. Friends, unpredictable creatures, and school. Or unpredictable creatures, friends, school. It doesn't matter. But school is third.

---

tom riddle: I totally hear you, but I also don't like what you're saying. So if you say no, I will release a giant snake in the bathroom

---

luna: would you like some -

hermione: no! I am going to run for minister of magic someday, so no, thank you. I mean, not that I haven't - I ate a brownie once at quidditch cup party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable, actually. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there wasn't any potions in the brownie, it was just an insanely good brownie.

---

sirius: do i look like the kind of person who drinks water

---

neville: flying is the worst. I know it keeps you healthy, but merlin, at what cost?

ron: okay, you don't have to join the pick up game -

neville: no no i want to be included. i'll come

---

james: What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me.

sirius: that's not right

---

mcgongall: I think you’ve got several options. They’re all terrible…but you have them.

peter: this career counseling session is getting a bit intense

---

neville: how are you handling the...breakup...

ginny: I’m gonna buy some sweat pants and a Gilderoy Lockhart novel. Might as well lean into it.

---

dumbledore, in the staff room, extremely intoxicated: Who hasn’t had gay thoughts?

---

james: Goodbye, Lily Evans, my head girl partner. Hello, Lily Potter, my fallopian princess.

lily: i should have never married you. or at least made you wear a condom

james: what's a-

---

sprout: I’m a simple lesbian. I like pretty, dark-haired women, and man-killing plants.

---

sirius: A couple more rules: if you ever read a sad book, you have to wear mascara so we can see whether or not you’ve been crying. There’s no noise allowed on Mondays. And no magic after breakfast.

peter: er i'm sorry this was the dorm assigned to me...

---

remus: Hogwarts Library is headed by the most diabolical, ruthless bureaucrat I’ve ever seen. She's like a death eater but instead of avada kedavra and crucio she uses shame and shhhing.

james: she wouldn't let him into the restricted section without a note

remus, choking back tears: I AM A PREFECT

---

pansy: I have never flown the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.

---

hermione: If I had a stripper’s name, it would be Equality. for house elves and all beings.

ron: if i had a stripper's name it would be sugar striped candy pole for my -

harry: hermione, DON'T -

---

sir cadogen: You know, in the 1880’s, there were a few years that were pretty rough and tumble here at Hogwarts. This depicts kind of a famous fight between Morpheus Rane, a prefect in Slytherin house, and Wilhemena Batlock, a Hufflepuff seventh year. The original title of this painting was ‘A Lively Fisting.’ But y’know, they had to change it for…obvious reasons.

---

bellatrix, in the afterlife: i regret nothing. the end.

---

harry: I don’t want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.

tofty: I'm sorry but you WILL have to repeat your history of magic OWL

---

james: Lucky for me, I’ve processed all my feelings. And I’ve gone through the five stages of grief - Denial, anger, picking on Peter, cat adoption, reckless dueling, cat returning to the adoption place, reading all Martin Miggs books in the series (what i was picking on peter for actually), and not giving a flying fuck.

remus: you can't say fuck

james: oh great i'm going to have to start the process all over again.

remus: peter, you'd better run

---

dudley: I’m allergic to magic candy. Every time I eat more than 80 sweeties I barf.

fred: how about...81

---

sirius: I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.

remus: this is why we can't date in public

---

neville: I’m gonna get drunk and then I’m gonna order a three course meal where each course is made of dessert.

---

arthur: I promised myself I was not going to cry tonight, and I’ve already broken that promise five times. But I will not break it a sixth.

bill: dad maybe you shouldn't give a toast while fleur's family is still here

---

gilderoy: I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know I’m doing it really, really well.

---

pansy: Use him. Abuse him. Lose him. That’s the Parkinson motto.

draco: I thought the Parkinson motto is don't look at me you whore.

pansy: the motto is really more like a chapter book.

---

harry: You’re ridiculous and pureblood rights is nothing.

voldemort: wow

---

tonks: I would like a glass of red wine and I’ll take the cheapest one you have because I can’t tell the difference.

sirius: cheers i'll drink to that

remus: put. the bowl. down.

---

eh, and just one for the road: “I wonder who else was born in Eagleton. Voldemort, probably.” – Leslie Knope

#parks and rec #hp memes #incorrect harry potter

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #449-450

(both from yesterday)

What do you dislike about the house you live in? It's in the suburbs. Have you thought more about your funeral, or your wedding? My hypothetical wedding. Dinosaurs or unicorns? DINO BOIZ. What do you think of Maroon 5? I like some of their old stuff, and one or two of their newer songs, like "Payphone." What about Coldplay? I enjoy them. Fall Out Boy? Love 'em. Katy Perry? She's okay, I guess. There are a few songs I enjoy. Have you ever snuck into an R-rated movie when you weren’t old enough to see it without parents? No. What is your favorite Disney show? I don't have the slightest clue what's on Disney nowadays. What do you miss most about elementary school? Digging tunnels in the sandbox during recess with my friends. :'( When was the last time you saw the person you had your first kiss with? The start of February 2017. Hard to believe it's been four whole years... Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? Ha, yes. Mom got me a little sign that says, "If I can't wear my flipflops, I'm not going," lmfao. All I wear are flipflops. What's your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I LITERALLY couldn't care less. I wear pjs in public sometimes; it really depends on where I'm going. What was the most severe punishment your parents gave you when you were growing up? Taking away technology was the worst. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? Mom goes to a few different ones, depending on proximity and price. Have you ever owned any pet birds? What kinds/colours? I have not. I used to want a cockatiel for a long time, though. Do you pay much attention to your YouTube recommendations? If so, what was the last video that caught your attention? Kinda, I guess. I'm not sure what was the last recommended video I clicked. What has been the happiest time of your life so far? It's complicated. Most of my best memories are from high school with Jason, yet at the same time I was HORRIBLY depressed. I think my most pure happiness when I was really progressing with recovery. Moving on from him, losing tons of weight, feeling motivated... Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity? Who? My two biggest celebrity crushes ever have been/is Link Neal and Mark Fischbach. Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? Nah. Admitting fears isn't a big deal to me at all. What website do you spend most of your time on? YouTube. What did you have for dinner last night? A chicken sandwich. What could you talk about for hours? Meerkats, Silent Hill, Mark... Do you have a lamp beside your bed? Yes. What's your favorite ice cream topping? Chocolate syrup. What was the last TV show you binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender. Would you rather eat burgers or tacos? Oh, burgers for sure. I don't likes tacos. Did your mother change her maiden name when/if she got marred? Yes. Do you use TikTok? Nope. Are you closer to your mother or father? Mom. Do you own any costumes? No. Would you care if your SO went to a strip club? Hm. So long as they're not laying hands on any of the strippers and they ASKED me first, I don't think I'd care? I'm pretty sure I'd also only be okay with that if we were a long-term couple where very strong trust has been built. How helpful are your parents to you? Would they help you to pay for your first apartment? College? Where does the line end? They are so, so very helpful and I'm pretty sure would go to the ends of the earth to help me in any way they could. I know they WOULD help pay for the things you mentioned, but it's not something I want them to do. I want to be able to financially provide for myself, one day... Have you ever had to evacuate due to natural disaster? No. What video games did you have when you were growing up? LOADS. I looooooooved video games. What was the first election you ever voted in? This last one, actually. Can you hear anything right now? Yeah. I'm watching Gab play the Resident Evil 3 remake on hardcore mode. What's the coolest, most unusual pet you can think of? I've always thought sugar gliders were quite interesting as pets. I wanted one for a looong time, but I am not informed on how well they do in captivity and if it should even be legal for me to truly want one anymore. Have you ever seen a UFO or other weird object in the sky? By definition, it was a UFO. Sometimes I do even wonder if it was an alien spacecraft, given JUST how strange that shit was. I won't explain it again, just 'cuz I've done it in many surveys before. Are there any albums you know every single lyric to? I could probably nail Ozzy's Black Rain. What's your go-to painkiller? Advil. Does your mom have a celebrity look-alike? No, but there's a celebrity with her exact name. Do you think it’s pretty when 100s of balloons are let loose into the sky? NO NO NO NO NO that shit is SO upsetting. Where do you think they end up??? It's littering. Animals get choked and tangled by them all the time. What do you draw more than anything else? Definitely meerkats. Have you ever visited someone in a psychiatric home or ward? No, but people have visited me in one. Have you ever received a parking fine? No. Are you in any group chats? Who's in them? No. Do you have a lisp? No. Do you have an Instagram account? Do you use it often? I have three, but one's pretty much dead. I don't post stuff regularly on my other two either, really... Can you parallel park? I would absolutely hit another car. Have you ever played paintball? Did you get hit? No, that shit's dumb. You can get really hurt. What was your favorite fairy tale when you were a kid? Maybe Little Red Riding Hood? Are your parents still together? If not, do you know why? No. Mostly financial disagreements, but I know there's stuff I don't know. Have you ever been evicted? Why? Yes, because we couldn't keep up with rent. Have you ever worked as a manager or supervisor? Noooo. What was the last thing you voted for? So Snake Discovery (a reptile channel I love) hosted an enclosure build-off recently, and the winners were selected by fans via voting. The guy I voted for got 3rd. What's the most amazing animal you've ever seen in captivity? I've been very close to an elephant at a zoo once. They're magnificent. Having been to Sea World as a kid (I would NEVER go now), I also saw the killer whale show. As much of a spectacle as it was, it was animal abuse regardless. Do you like white chocolate? It's okay in small doses. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. Do you talk to your pets? Um, duh. Have you ever adopted a stray? (Cat or dog?) Cats, yes. Do you read about any mythology? (Greek, Roman, Norse, Egyptian, etc) No, not by my own will. I DO love mythology, I just... don't read it. Do you ever use bath bombs? No. Have you ever gotten angry at an employee and complained to the manager? No. Have you ever sent your food back at a restaurant? Yes, because they got my meal wrong. I was REALLY shy to do it, but I made sure to do it politely and apologetically. Do you sleep in a bra? What mad lad sleeps in a bra???????????? Has your ex ever gone out with someone close to you? No. Can you suggest someone funny on YouTube? I'll go for someone what isn't my obvious vote, ha ha. There are truly so many, but Garrett Watts is high on the list. Elena Bateman, too. Can you do a handstand? No. Has anyone close to you ever been suicidal? Yes. Have you ever broken someone's heart and didn't care? Tyler sure acted like I did, and to be entirely frank, I didn't care very much, but only because it was a HUGE overreaction and I knew he'd be fine quick. What color is your hairbrush? It's just a white comb. Who was your most recent call from? My psychiatrist. Have you ever watched someone die? Only animals... It's the absolute worst. Are you currently "seeing" someone? No. Are you friends with someone who's autistic? I might be, but I know my niece is on the spectrum. Do you like humans? To be entirely transparent... I think I wish humans were never a thing. We've done so, so much harm to the planet, some things irrevocable. Earth would be a much healthier, far more peaceful place if we'd never existed. Do you like pandas? I love pandas. P.S., fuck outta here if you're one of the people who don't support conservation efforts for them. That shit blows my mind. What do you think of Evanescence? They're great. Amy's voice is absolutely incredible. I don't even think that's an opinion, but global fact, ha ha. What do you think of Avenged Sevenfold? I like some of their stuff. I haven't heard a whole lot though, honestly. What do you think of Halestorm? ^ Do you think you are attractive? God no. I don't see me as an attractive person at all. Do you like dinosaurs? I love 'em; I was OBSESSED as a kid, and my first aspired job was a paleontologist. Do you like lasagna? No. Do you share a room? No. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, actually. Have you ever been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks? I think my longest was three. What can you do that none of your friends can do? I dunno. Why did you last go to the airport? Mom and I were dropping Sara off so she could go home. Who was the last person to see you in your underwear? My mom. Who’s the most attractive female you’ve ever seen? Maybe Alissa White-Gluz from Arch Enemy? Or my friend Alon. I'm certain there's more, because women are just so fuckin beautiful asdkfajlwejkrjqwe Red, white, yellow, or pink roses? I actually like the original, rich red. Do you think someone would ever want to marry you? Well, two people have, but one absolutely doesn't anymore and the other knows that it's not healthy or emotionally safe for either of us to imagine that at this time. I don't know if anyone ever will again. Do you like Thanksgiving? No. Like I enjoy the focus on thankfulness, but the history isn't right and I don't enjoy the food. Do you ever wear colored eye liner? No. Have you ever used a darkroom? No. Have you ever been "popular"? No. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Yes. Have you ever been told that you dress like a slut? No, not that how someone dresses has any relevance to their sexual activity. What’s your most recent obsession? Final Fantasy X jfccccccc. Video games or board games? The former. Are you scared of tarantulas? As much as I talk about them... you can probably tell I have a massive interest in them, ha ha. However, even though I love them, they're still sorta scary. Like, threat poses are no joke. And it's terrifying on the very rare occasion they hiss. During Covid, do you wear a mask or no mask? I'm fully vaccinated, and yet I still wear a mask because I'm a considerate human fucking being. Do you have a PlayStation 4? No, but I reeeeaaally want one. :/ Have you ever played Fortnite? Nah, not my type of game. Do you like anime? Yeah. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah. I was always SO excited as a kid when Dad would take the boat out for a fishing trip. Have you ever played Kingdom Hearts? I've played some of it with Jason. I wasn't a fan of it. Have you ever built a snowman? Yes. DC or Marvel? I don't really have a preference.

----------

Do you prefer your nails long or short? Why? Short, because I can't keep my nails long for the life of me. I pick/peel my nails badly. Do you have any vinyl records? No. Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? It's extremely fascinating. Would you have a big cat (like a tiger) for a pet if you could? No. I could never provide the environment they need, and it's simply not safe. They are not domestic animals, and even the ones that seem most tame can surprise you. What are your favorite smells? Cinnamon rolls, coffee, lilac, fresh baked bread, barbecue, etc. Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? I'm not sure, actually... What is your favorite thing to do on The Sims? Surveys have a lot of questions about those games... I only ever played the ones that focused on animals, and I think I most enjoyed breeding them and naming the bbz. :^) And watching their behavior. Which hair color you've had has been your favorite? Red. If you were stupid-rich, would you ever actually want a mansion? No. I do not need all that room, nor am I wasting my money on such excessive space. What drinking games have you played? None. Do you take lessons for anything? No. Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? No. If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? Only black. Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? Curtains. If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? One is a snake and the other is a cat, so. Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? No. Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? Nothing besides what you mentioned. Are you lonely? I'm way too lonely for it to be healthy. Do you like pineapple? Yep. Have you ever seen fireflies? Yes; they're endemic to here. Have you ever trespassed? As a kid, yes. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did sometimes. Are you afraid of heights? Yes. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? No. Have you ever written a poem? I've written a lot. Would you ever be a tornado chaser? FUCK TO THE HELL NO. What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? I hate bbq sauce. Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No. Ever thought about writing a book? Yes. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? Yes. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Nope. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? No, only the first one with Tyler. It was aight. Have you ever had a black eye? No. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven't seen a picture of Jason in years, and I don't want to. Not because I care about how he looks now, it'd just be extremely triggering to see his face. I still find Sara gorgeous. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? N/A When was the last time you were scared? Ummmm I really can't say I know. What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? "Disturbia" is where it's AT. There's this synthwave edit of it that I positively adore. Can you speak binary? No. Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? A family pet, yes. Do you like boys with long hair? UGH yes. Do you like root beer? Not really, no. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really. Do you ever dream of yourself dying? That's not all that rare in my nightmares. What song always makes you sad? I think two songs are tied for what makes me most sad: "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin and "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White. Were you mean as a little kid? No; I was a sweet kid. Have you ever tried spam? No, it looks SO gross to me. How fast can you run? This is pathetic, but I don't think I CAN run. My knees are too weak. I think my weight coming down on them would just make me crumple over. Have you ever bought something from Spencer's? Yeah. Have you ever been on a diet? I've tried diets many times. Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I almost always just listen. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Jason. I miss his memory every day. I say "memory" because it's been years, and I have no way of knowing who he is today. How many cars are parked at your house right now? One. Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? No. Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? Not personally. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings with extremely hot sauce at Buffalo Wild Wings. Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? Um yeah, no. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? No. I don't like sprinkles in general. Do you know how to do the moon walk? No. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yes, somehow. Onion rings or french fries? French fries, for sure. Who is the best cook that you know? Dunno. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was a kid. I don't remember the age, but I was old enough to decide myself that I wanted them pierced. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They have their own places now. Do you like fried rice? Yessss. Are there any animals you refuse to touch? Some bugs. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? I don't believe so, no. What makes you feel lucky? That I have the family I do. What is something nice going on in your life right now? Just the gym-going, really... Who’s the worst person you’ve encountered on the Internet? An old friend I just knew as Shakes. If death wasn’t a consequence, what would you try? Maybe sky-diving, idk. Has a teacher ever told you off? No. Have you ever told off a teacher? No. Do/did you take school seriously or not? I certainly did. How do you usually cope with breakups? Not well. I obsess over how something's wrong with me and I'm not good enough for anyone. Disney princess or Disney animal movies? Animals, for sure. What's your favorite Katy Perry song? It's evading me right now... Have you ever made/tried friendship bread!? Omg, I forgot that was a thing! I actually have. I've completely forgotten the gist of it or even how it tastes, but I remember I loved it. What do you want to know about the future? If I'll ever be content and happy. What's your biggest insecurity? My weight. Ever found something disgusting in your food while eating out? No, thank god. Does the area where you live have a good or bad reputation? A very bad one. Are there any holidays that you don't celebrate? Yeah, like St. Patrick's Day, among some others. If you could find out who you're gonna marry right now, would you? Yes. Save myself time and heartbreak. How important is it to you that your partner has the same religious views? I wouldn't date someone very religious. If they're more tame about it, that's fine, but I'd prefer to not date a religious individual. Do you own a Wii? Yeah. I've kinda been wanting to play Guitar Hero or Rock Band lately on it... Do you like a lot of cheese on your pizza? "A regular, reasonable amount of cheese." <<<< This. I really don't like when things are so cheesy that it leaves a ridiculous trail when you try to separate pieces. Have you ever been made fun of because of your sexuality? Not directly to my face, but I can guarantee people I know had certain ~opinions~ on it when I came out. I also like just came out as pansexual versus bi, and I'm not even telling a lot of people in my personal life because I know they'll find the concept absolutely ridiculous. What would you do if you found an abandoned animal? "Depends on what type of an animal it was, and whether it was friendly or skittish." <<<< This. I'm obviously not going to try to usher a rabid dog over to me (I'd call a rescue or something if the animal appeared potentially dangerous), but if the animal appeared safe, my heart would absolutely lead me to try and get the animal to come to me so I could take it home and try to find the owner. Have you ever kissed someone who had a tongue piercing? No. What singer/band do you think deserves to be more famous than they are? Jonathan Young from YouTube. He is INCREDIBLE. He deserves to be picked up by a label so badly. What is your favorite PlayStation 1 game? The original Silent Hill, no competition. Do you think objectum sexuals are real, or attention seekers? I really can't imagine someone pretending to want to fuck their car for attention. I don't get it AT ALL, and it's weird as shit to me, but I mean, I don't think people can control what they're attracted to. How far out of your age bracket would you date? 21-early 30s, probs. Have you ever had an STD? No. Have you ever tried pho? No. Pick one: Crash Bandicoot or Spyro? Spyro!!!! I have the original trilogies of both series, but Spyro is where it's AT. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? I'm unemployed, but I wouldn't work at a job that didn't, honestly. If you could dye your hair any color right now with absolutely no restrictions, what color would you dye it? Maybe like a galaxy-esque mixture of layered colors. I've wanted that for YEARS. Have you ever known a white supremacist? This region is swimming in them. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Do ladders scare you? Climbing them does, yes. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Yeah. Have you ever thrown up on anybody? Unless I did unknowingly as a baby, no. How many people have you turned down when they asked you out? Uhhh two or three, maybe? What is your favourite kind of fruit cobbler? I actually haven't tried enough to have an educated favorite, but I can say I love peach. Do you hear any other people talking right now? I'm watching a let's player play Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, so I hear her, obviously. When was the last time you started a new medication? It's been a while, idk. What is your favourite type of nut? Cashews, I guess. I don't really like nuts, but I definitely like cashew bars. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? ... Domino's lmaoooo. Did you ever watch The Rugrats when you were a kid? Yeah, I loved that show. I even had two video games. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yes. Can you name all 50 US state capital cities? No. Can you tie balloons? I can't, actually. Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today? Yeah. I wanted Sara's advice on something I'm dealing with. On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day? One of my sisters' was yesterday, actually. What did you/are you having for dinner tonight? I had Special K cereal. Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Strawberries, apples, bananas, (sometimes) broccoli, other things that aren't coming to me. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? My friend Girt. What flavor was the last cupcake you ate? The cupcake itself was chocolate, and the icing was uhhhh... blue? Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight? I haven't done anything of note. I'm probably going to bed soon. What’s the age difference between your parents? Two years, I think. When was the last time you ate an apple? Today. I have been on a big sliced apples w/ peanut butter kick lately. Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? I have soda every day. :x Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? Mom brought me a Reese's home today when she went out with a friend. How many different towns/cities have you lived in? Three. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special? Poems, yes. Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Not very much physically. Emotionally... I don't know. Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? What flavor is it? No. Ice cream is my #1 comfort food, so that's a big "keep out of the house."

#survey #surveys #random questions

[love-geeky-fangirl]

Ranking every Teen Drama I have ever watched

(Updated)

The Secret Life of the American Teenager

+ young Shailene Woodley and Molly Ringwald I guess

- everything else. Even Shailene Woodley's and Molly Ringwald's performances weren't that great because the writing is just oh so bad. The background music is bland and repetative and it sounds like out of some teenager's YouTube chanel. The plotlines are ridiculous and convoluted, which isn't neccessarily such a bad thing, because it is a teen drama show after all, the problem is the show seems to take itself too seriously. Other entries on this list also have ridiculously convoluted plotlines, but I'm ranking them highed because they don't take themselves too seriously and don't claim to be realistic like this show does. Seriously, from the title it suggests like this was going to be a real, uncensored look into high school but it's the furthest thing from it. Not to mention how problematic it is- God forbid someone suggests that a 14-year-old pregnant girl gets an abortion or gives the baby up for adoption without being seen as a terrible and despicable person.

Otp: Marc Molina x a job somewhere far, far away from these kids

Notps: every single pairing on this show

Best moment: literally none

Weirdest moment: "I'm such a whore!" "Well, you're my whore." What were the writers thinking??? Was this supposed to be romantic??

We Children From Zoo Station

+the aesthetic, the casting of Christiane, Detlef and Axel

-this was such a letdown. Honestly I was so hyped for it after seeing the trailer since I've read the book and didn't particularly like the movie- I feel like it's hard to fit all of Christiane's story into 90 minutes. That's why I was so excited about this show. Christiane's story covers so much, so it's easier to make it into a TV show when you don't want to ommit anything and butcher the story. But they somehow managed to do it anyway. They changed so much for no reason and completely erased Christiane's childhood trauma, which was important in the book. Now, I know you can say that it's just a loose adaptation, so it doesn't have to follow the book word for word. But I feel like if you already decided to tell her- a real person's story- you should at least do it authentically. Imo they shouldn't have tried to make the setting vague. It worked with Sex Education because the story of Sex Education is timeless. However, Christiane's story is not timeless. It's a true story set in the 1970s. If they were making a new show from scratch, I would have liked it. But this is an already existing story and they’re supposed to be just retelling it. My last issue is a nit pick but I wish the actresses playing Stella and Babsi were reversed. It just would've fit better.

Otps: all those kids x sobriety

Notp: Christiane x Detlef

Best moment: Christiane's first time in Sound was pretty true to the book

Weirdest moment: when Detlef became a gigolo because he needed money for his dog. Who tf thought of that?

Pretty Little Liars

+ makeup, style, the theme song, the drama and mystery that always kept me guessing, the cliffhangers at the end of each episode that made it so addictive, Emily's coming out story, Hanna and Spencer had some good lines

- the mishandling of some serious issues (namely eating disorders), romantization of student-teacher relationship, the timeline not making much sense, these writers seem to put more thought into the characters' outfits than the storylines

Otps: Emily x Maya, Hanna x Caleb

Notp: Ezria

Best moment: Hanna and Caleb in the shower (the sexual tension was cuttable with a knife)

Weirdest moments: Aria asking Ezra out in the middle of a make-up test (it was supposed to be cute but it was just cringy), Spencer trying to block A's text messages on a laptop, in the middle of a park (what? Spencer, you were supposed to be the smart one!)

One Tree Hill

+ Brooke, the theme song, Chad Michael Murray

- the casual drinking and driving (I mean seriously these kids play a drinking game at a party and then casually hop into a car and drive home??), too much basketball and cheerleading (that's not a bad thing per se but I just don't really care about neither of these things), it just seems too stereotypical and kinda bland?? I couldn't really get into it

Otp: Naley

Notp: Peyton x Nathan

Best moment: Naley by the dock

Weirdest moment: "I guess I'm just a riddle, wrapped in a mystery inside a bitch." It's not really a bad moment but a cringy line. I guess the writers though they were being clever but it just sounded bad.

Dawson's Creek

+ the clothes, the 90s aesthetic, the 90s soundtrack, many movie references, Pacey is a sweetheart, Jen is a feminist icon, dealing with mental health issues through Andie (it's rare to see in shows as old as this)

- the slutshaming of Jen really hasn't aged well, the storyline of Pacey being statury raped by his much older teacher was mishandled (it was either treated as scandalous, cool or in Andie’s case somehow shameful), same goes for Jen’s backstory- it was mentioned she was raped at 12 by an older man and then never brought up again, Dawson is the most unlikable protagonist ever and his friendship/relationship with Joey is codependent and possessive, the dialogue is sometimes pretentious and unrealistic, the timeline doesn't really add up- I can never tell what time of the year it's supposed to be, because it looks like it's always fall for some reason. And how did they sophomore year have two homecomings?

Otps: Pacey x Andie, Pacey x Joey (yes, both at the same time)

Notp: Dawson x Joey

Best moments: Jen helping Joey when that jerk was spreading rumours about her and then Jen and Joey locking Abby in the closet together (I love it when they stick together instead of tearing each other down), Pacey and Joey bickering

Weirdest moments: when Joey was upset because Dawson didn’t want to tell her how often he “walks his dog”, when Jen was about to have a treesome at a party and Dawson walked into the room and carried her out despite her kicking and screaming

Glee

+ funny, Sue Sylvester's iconic, great covers and a way to find new songs, the performances are aesthetically pleasing, lgbtq+ representation, tackling of serious issues, coming out story, a father who’s accepting of his son’s sexuality right away despite not really understanding it (it’s so rare to see, that’s why it’s so refreshing), the plotlines are ridiculous but at least the show doesn't take itself too seriously

-as I already said the 1st season was great but after that it just seemed like the writers made up a checklist of hard issues they should tackle and tried to tackle every single one of them while covering every single song and it just fell flat. Prime example- Quinn ending up in a wheelchair getting into a car crash to warn us from drinking and driving, singing I’m Still Standing and then suddenly being able to walk normally after. a few episodes Rachel and Finn got almost all songs, while other characters were criminally underrated and underused (Tina, Quinn, Mercedes). The teachers are questionable to put it mildly. Cringy moments- Finn singing You're Having My Baby to Quinn in front of her parents when it wasn't even his baby! Also no one except of Kurt looks like they could be in high school. And why are these cheerleaders wearing their uniforms 24/7??

Otps: Brittana, Sam x Quinn, Tina x Artie (unpopular opinion, I know), Mr Schue x unemployment

Notp: Quinn x Finn

Best moments: Quinn giving birth to Bohemian Rhapsody

Weirdest moment: Rachel's gross and painfully awkward crush on Mr Schue, Mr Schue joining the Glee club on the stage for a performance of Toxic and girls in the audience cat calling him (Ewww)

Euphoria

+ Zendaya's and Jacob Elordi's performances, tackling of serious issues such as drug addiction and overdose, anxiety and depression, abusive relationships and abortion in a better manner than most (if not all) teen dramas, the aesthetics, makeup and wardrobe, the musical number in the finale, the special episodes giving us insight into the characters' psychology, toxic relationships not being romanticized (which is sadly rare), teenagers sounding like actual real life teens (no "I reject reality" crap)

- lack of comic relief (why so serious all the time), sexualization of teen characters (I know this is something many teen dramas are guilty of but it's the most evident here), too much nudity (I know some of you are going to come at me with: "But it's realistic!" So what? It is realitic that teenagers get naked when they go into shower but does it mean we have to see it?? It seems to me like this show is trying too hard to be "boundary pushing" at times and ends up being scandalous just for the sake of being scandalous), these characters just aren't believable as high school juniors to me (they sound like high schoolers but they certainly don’t act, look or dress that way). There's no reason this show couldn't have been set in college.

Otps: Rue x sobriety, Nate x prison

Notps: Nate x Maddy, Cassie x McKay

Best moments: "You did this to me!" and the musical number in the season 1 finale

Weirdest moment: the fact that Maddy lost her virginity at 14 to a 40-year-old man being mentioned so casually because apparently she was "totally in control". Excuse me what??

Skins

+ style and makeup- each character has a signature trademark (Sid and his beanie, Effy's eyeliner, Cassie's soft eyeshadow), their British accents, I'm pretty sure this is the only teen drama that follows multiple classes, teenage characters being played by actual teen actors, the characters looking like average people you meet in high school and not as if they just walked off the runway, dealing with serious issues such as drug abuse, eating disorder, parental abandonment etc (yes, some people claim the show romanticized it, but I disagree. It's not the show that romanticized it- it's the fans. The show tried to portray the dangers of drugs as well as possible. Think about it- every time characters used drugs it ended in a disaster. In the pilot they thought that Cassie overdosed and ended up crashing a car while rushing into the hospital. In later season Effy hit her friend in the head with a rock because she was having a bad trip. That's not romanticizing drugs.), Effy is iconic and honestly the first episode was enough to get me hooked

- every single teacher being a creep and having a thing for a student at some point, the show can get too dark and unncessarily dramatic at times. Did that many people have to die? Did Chris's death really have to be this graphic? Timeline doesn't really add up- are 8 episodes supposed to cover the whole year? It would've made more sense if there were more episodes in a season.

Otps: Chris x Jal, Emily x Naomi

Notps: Sid x Michelle

Best moment: ooh baby it's a wild world

Weirdest moment: Chris's graphic death

The OC

+ more grounded in reality than many others on this list, the theme song, the love stories, Seth and Summer are funny, the friendships are believable and the whole group has great chemistry

- too many unneccessary fights, Luke is the worst, everyone is way too casual about drunk driving, these parents are WAAAY too chill (I know this can be said about many teen dramas but it's the most obvious here. How did the Roberts and the Coopers let two 16-year-old girls go to Mexico alone?? With no supervision?? What?)

Otps: Seth x Summer, Ryan x Marissa

Notp: Luke x Marissa

Best moments: the “oh no, there’s only one bed” in the Mexico episode, Seth and Summer's first kiss and that kiss at the yacht, Ryan and Marissa's first date by the pool

Weirdest moment: these parents letting their teenage kids go to Mexico alone. It's irresponsible when they're 16 but apparently they let them go there and party every year. What?

Gossip Girl

+ every episode having a clever title, the style, the makeup, the 00s soundtrack, the glamour of it all (it feels like reading a very gossipy magazine!), all the scandals, this show never pretends to portray the realitic teenage experience so it can pretty much be as far-fetched as it wants to and you can’t question it, it gives you a chance to live the fantasy of being super rich, living with a penthouse, riding a limo to school and going to parties in New York City every night

- the final reveal doesn't make any sense, just like with PLL these writers seemed to have put more thought into the outfits and makeup than into the plotlines, romantization of a toxic relationship, having every two straight characters date or hook up at some point, which just felt forced, mishandling of serious issues (Blair's eating disorder, Eric's suicide attempt and Serena and Jenny's sexual assault from the pilot being brought up when it's convenient but not really dealt with and brushed off at other times), sexualization of teen characters

Otps: Dan x Blair, Serena x Nate

Notps: Chuck x Blair

Best moments: the Thanksgiving flashbacks, Blair and Serena running around New York and taking selfies in stolen dresses, Nate and Serena’s first time (although it was better in the books) and then their kiss at the white party, the sheer scandal of "I killed someone", Dan giving Blair a plastic tiara to make her feel like a princess

Weirdest moments: Chuck's father returning from the death and then dying again, by yeeting himself off the roof

Freaks and Geeks

+ probably the most realistic teen drama there is, the characters dress the way I can see actual teens dressing, funny, but also heatbreaking at times, probably the only teen show that included an intersex character, the characters being a little stereotypical but self-aware at least, young James Franco and Jason Segel

- the bullying being a bit too much at times and it's a bit unrealistic that the teachers would do literally nothing about it, too short- I will never understand why this got cancelled

Otps: Daniel x Kim, Lindsay x Nick, Amy x Ken

Notps: Sam x Cindy

Best moments: Sam breaking down at the end of Garage Door, Daniel and Kim getting back together in the rain

Weirdest moment: Cindy doing a 180 and becoming super mean when she started dating Sam.

Gilmore Girls

+ so many movie, literary and music references, the quotable lines (what a great way to learn about new movies, books and bands! It’s so unique for a TV show to make you smarter), the witty banter, the comfort of the first few seasons (it really feels like wrapping a warm blanket around yourself while holding a hot cup of coffee, I can’t explain why, but it’s such a comfort show), the quirky small town with many unique festivals, many entertaining and snappy fights where everyone has a point, characters dealing with real world problems (seriously, how often do you see a storyline about termites? Or a teenager with zit cream on a teen drama show?), this is also one of the few shows where teenagers are shown to have rules and restrictions and curfews (finally some kids growing up with strict parents representation) and doing homework and studying and not just partying and drinking and having sex all the time and that’s so refreshing

- but while it is refreshing to see teenagers waiting to have sex and not doing it behind every corner, the show is kind of sex negative. Every single time a (female) character loses her virginity it ends in a disaster. Even when she loses it after she’s married! It doesn’t make any sense, unless the writers just really hated women. Also slutshaming (”I got the good kid!”) ewww. The money and budget doesn’t make much sense on the show either and the girls seem immune to calories. I know some people might come at me for this with: “But it’s just a show!” but I think it’s harmful to show beautiful, thin women eat nothing but tons of junkfood all the time and never excersize and then fatshame people who do excersize but aren’t fortunate enough to be blessed with amazing Gilmore genes, and then throw around tactless references to eating disorders.

Otps: Lane x Dave, Jess x Rory

Notps: Lane x Zach, Rory x Dean, Lorelai x Christopher

Best moments: Then She Appeared, Rory’s valedictorian speech, Lorelai’s graduation

Weirdest moment: Lorelai and Christopher getting married in Paris at 4am. That’s not how it works in Europe. Do Americans think every single Europian country works like Las Vegas, where you can just get married whenever you decide??

#teen dramas #these are just my opinions #so don't take it personally #u might disagree #but idrc