#listen okay. let queer people dress and be boring.

[findafight]

I am a hardline Steve is a "boring queer" truther. Yes he's bi and genderqueer!! Does he change pronouns? Nope! It's easier to use he/him and he doesn't care. Does he wear anything other than high waisted mom jeans and sweatshirts? Absolutely not. Just because gender means next to nothing to him both for himself and in regards to attraction doesn't mean he's going out of his way to do anything about it. He knows he looks like Just Some Jock but he's comfy!! His ass looks good! What more is there to clothes than that!

He goes to bed at ten and wakes up at six-thirty for a run before work. His favourite show is M*A*S*H. The most outlandish thing he's done besides Monster Killing is name his rescue cat WoodChipper because it kept trying to eat his porch.

#genderqueer steve Harrington #steve harrington #listen okay. let queer people dress and be boring. #let him be boring not everyone is exciting or looks queer or is Weird #steddie #eddie is like bro you are so aggressively normal why. and steve is like huh. idk. im comfy? i like sleeping early? #also YES this is nd steve with texture and temperature sensitivity because he's my blorbo i can project on him #stranger things #finda's rambles #he doesnt wear makeup because it Feels Gross it is such a bad Feeling.

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 

All hail Incitatus the king 

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 

oh god is that hamilton 

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 

Me internally vs externally 

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 

?

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap 

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

?

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

?

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

#opera #opera tag #results #screencaps #captions #caption #caption this #caption contest #this seems to have gone over well and I am Pleased

[lonelypond]

BETWEEN US

NicoMaki, Love Live, 3.6K, 1/1

Summary: Nishikino Maki and Yazawa Nico have many challenges ahead, but they get through them together.

Between Us

Is this what love is? Not a fire that bites painfully but two people laying so close to feel every breath, hands nearly touching, eyes on the brilliant stars opening themselves up suddenly, sure enough to share truths they speak into the night, this solitary space, this private moment between them.

Nishikino Maki spoke first, always the more impatient, curious about Yazawa Nico’s state of mind. “What do you want to do, Nico-chan?”

“Nico wants to show everyone that little and cute can be strong, sexy smart, talented, funny, hard working, successful….I’m tired of how the world treats cute girls like Nico. Nico is a star.” Nico flung her arms out, to encompass the sky. “They should be in awe.”

I am, Maki said to herself, and then thought, why not say it out loud. This was all new, why not be bolder.

“I am.”

Nico squeezed Maki’s hand, a reward for honesty. “What do you want to do, Maki-chan?”

No one said Maki’s name like Nico. It had been Maki’s anchor through the continuing craziness of Muse, Eli’s taskmaster torture, qualifying, Honoka’s collapse, then starting over, right as they discovered these new feelings, a gift from all they’d been through.

“I want to use the Nishikino fortune for new things, good things, to stop propping up out dated ways and awful people. I want to find new ways to help…” Maki was a person of specifics and she had a list. “Girls, gays, empaths, people fighting bigotry, neurodivergents, water protectors,” Maki thought of Rin and giggled, “furries, us, our friends, the world.”

“Maki-chan will do great things.”

“Once I’m 30.”

Nico Yazawa considered. This was so new and 14 years from now, when Maki was a doctor and her trust vested, seemed as distant as the nearest star Nico could see. But Nico knew naming goals was the first step to achieving them, even if it seemed a wild fantasy.

“Nico will be there.” Not flashy, just quiet determination.

Nico heard Maki gulp. She was probably tearing up and couldn’t speak. Nico didn’t really expect her too. Sharing was such a new trust. But Maki’s hand carefully kept precise palm to palm contact with Nico’s. That said everything.

“Marry Nico.”

Maki sighed. “No one can know.”

“Okay.”

YAZAWA NICO FINISHES FIRST INTERNATIONAL TOUR WITH SPRING SPLASH IN HONOLULU

NISHIKINO MAKI BEGINS RONIN YEAR SOLO WORLD TOUR SURFING IN MAUI

Sunrise. Quiet beach. Her own choices. Is this what contentment felt like, Maki wondered. Finally, moments of quiet to listen for the important things. Leaning against her duffle and board, dressed in a striped rash guard, bright lavender board shorts, and a faded denim “You Are On Native Land” cap, Maki stretched, watching the horizon as a lone speck appeared in the distance, jogging toward her, not actually growing much as the distance closed, Maki thought with a private grin. Nico, running in an oversized hoodie and bikini bottom, gasped dramatically, reaching a hand for the water bottle Maki held out as a lure.

“Still running 5Ks every morning?”

“10K when I don’t have a concert or rehearsal. Nico is a boss.”

“Umi would be proud.”

Nico dropped and did ten fast pushups in the sand next to Maki, “Not if Nico told her it was only to make girls swoon.”

“Girls?” Maki arched an eyebrow, hand sweeping through her hair.

“Girl.”

“Fiancee.”

Nico laughed, rolling toward Maki, pulling her down into a playful, sandy kiss. “Ready to upgrade to trophy wife?”

“Yes.”

But there was no hurry that morning. Both had put their other lives on multiple 15 plus hour flights and fallen briefly off the grid to sit side by side on this hidden beach, the tide surging, a rare treasured morning to share.

“Went to the symphony last night. Monica Mancini sang, Henry Mancini’s daughter,” Nico hummed the Pink Panther theme, “Nice voice, more your thing than Nico’s though. She sang a lot of Johnny Mercer. And some new stuff. Nico was taking notes.”

“You’re great on stage Nico-chan, but I guess you can always learn from other performers.”

“Nico is learning songwriting.”

Maki pushed against Nico, “Going to try to get me to put Nico Nico Ni to music again.”

Nico’s mood turned serious, “I miss watching you play.”

“I miss playing.”

“When Nico gets her penthouse, there will be a baby grand.” Nico let her hand settle on Maki’s, “Working with a portable keyboard now. And Umi’s giving me advice, so many books...I’m so busy reading, there’s no time to party.”

“Good.”

“Hey, do you have any plans tomorrow night?”

Nico stared at Maki for a moment, but there was only earnestness in the amethyst staring back, “Not since you got here.”

“I’ve been talking with some of the elders, volunteering on Maui, learning about healing plants, and aloha ‘āina.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s really cool. I’m going to get Papa to invite some of the teachers and doctors I’ve met to give seminars for us. Aloha ‘āina means so many things, but it’s mostly being determined to take care of each other by taking care of the land. It’s very land based and tradition based, here in Hawai’i,” Maki picked up a handful of sand, “but it’s caring and not soft...exactly...when you meet Kai, he’ll explain it better. We’ve been invited for dinner, his uncle plays the ohe hano ihu.”

“What’s that?”

“ A nose flute, not for big concerts, more personal...Kai says his uncle has so many stories about it being used in courting rituals.”

“Is Maki-chan taking notes?”

“Maybe.” Ah, Maki’s sexy, best musician in the world grin. Nico missed that one a lot on the road. A killer cute band was no replacement for the brilliant, lovely pianist who’d so boldly wrapped Nico’s heart in music.

They were in the teasing phase now. “Do you have to keep courting a cute girl after marriage?”

Maki shoved into Nico again, “Well, duh…”

Joint laughter, rolling out to meet the tide.

“We’re getting married.” Maki said quietly.

“Just need to take our passports to pick up the license and go to the shrine. We filled out everything else online.” Nico glanced at her bare legs, “And Nico brought a kimono. Although Maki-chan looks sporty cute just like she is.”

Maki had a far off look, not paying much attention to Nico. Happy to wait ‘til Maki drifted back to the beach, Nico was going to enjoy memorizing her favorite scenery, Maki’s beautifully expressive face, now relaxed and open, thoughts waves and clouds in constant motion. Nico knew the solitude here allowed Maki to relax, there was no family pressure, their phones were off, nothing on either of their schedules for at least the rest of the week. A rare moment to sit with each other, sharing this beauty.

NISHIKINO REAL ESTATE GROUP BUYS LARGE LUXURY TOWER NEAR NISHIKINO MEDICAL CENTER

SUPERSTAR REFUSES TO GIVE UP PENTHOUSE APARTMENT TO NISHIKINO HEIR

Fast food. School girls lingering from Otonokizaka. Two people shoved into the booth furthest from the door and windows, sitting on the same bench, hip to hip, back to the rest of the room.

“So many memories in this place.” Nico unwrapped her burger.

“So many french fries.” Maki dipped a sample french fry in her chocolate milkshake.

“Another meal Nico paid for. You got rich not paying for food.”

“Hey! You were too proud to let me pay.”

“Nico is still too proud.” Nico tapped her fingers on the table. This late afternoon, for this clandestine meeting, they’d allowed themselves the indulgence of wearing their braided gold and platinum wedding band, Maki added the simple diamond Nico had bought her for their engagement.

“Is this going to work? Us actually living this close together without rumors starting?” Maki had been worrying. So many comments in the press and on social media.

“Everyone already has us at war. Nico’s a selfish poser, Maki’s a spoiled brat. Enemies to lovers.”

“Not funny, Nico-chan.”

“Nico will throw a huge party before I leave on my next tour. My new landlord will threaten very publically to throw me out of the building. Everything will flare up, but Maki-chan will continue to do boring future doctor things and by the time Nico gets back, all anyone will be talking about is Nico’s new album.”

“They’re not boring future doctor things.”

“No, they’re smart, saving the world future doctor things and Nico is so proud.” A quick kiss on Maki’s palm.

“Meanwhile…”

“Meanwhile, Umi and Eli install a secret hatch above the decorative staircase centerpiece of your expensively designed main room.”

“I’m going to miss you, Nico-chan.” Sadness.

Time to change the mood. Nico dipped a french fry in her strawberry shake and fed it to Maki. “How’s studying going?”

Maki leaned, chin in hand, frowny. “I could be more motivated.”

“So B?”

“A minus.”

“Nerd.”

“ ‘s dull." Maki said, chewing slowly. "But have to stay on track with the family benchmarks.”

“Yeah.” Nico decided to talk about happier things, “ooohh, did I tell you Eli’s setting up a foundation for Nico as her graduation project. We’ve already donated tickets to queer youth groups in every city on the tour and Nozomi’s setting up mentor programs.”

“Expect a large anonymous donation.”

“Expect a large not so anonymous thank you.”

“I’m just proud that you’re doing things to actually help people. I want to do more.”

“You’re studying to be a doctor, Maki-chan. That’s hard. Nico’s got it easy. All Nico has to do is” Nico went into her signature gesture, “Nico Nico Ni and everything gets brighter.” Nico suddenly remembered she shouldn’t have let her catch phrase out full voice during what was supposed to be a secret meeting, but this was a low traffic period so no one seemed to notice.

“I couldn’t get that out of my head, the first time I saw you do it. It was annoying.”

“But you loved Nico.” Nico snuggled closer, enjoying a chance to feel Maki next to her.

“But I loved Nico, all of Nico, the bold, brash, terrible liar, the kind, caring sister, the determined ally and friend, the hard working and talented performer.”

“Nico wasn’t a liar, Nico was an optimist.”

“Private chef,” Maki cough giggled.

Nico grabbed the french fries as Maki reached for another one, “Confiscated for cheekiness.”

“Give me those.” Maki grabbed, Nico dodged, french fries flew loose and they giggled their way through the next few minutes until Nico leaned forward to whisper in Maki’s ear.

“So are your parents still in New York City?”

Gulping, suddenly completely flustered, Maki nodded.

Nico bounced up, offering a gallant hand, “Nico will walk you home.”

“Fancy.”

“Only the best for Mrs. Yazawa.”

“That would be Mrs. Nishikino.”

“We’ll wrestle. Nico will win.”

“Optimist.”

Nico’s hand on Maki’s waist was a gentle guide into the autumn night, two hats pulled down, two collars pulled up, Nico in a mask to protect her voice. “Wait and see.”

Maki leaned into Nico. This night, unlike too many others recently, felt just right.

HEAD OF THE NISHIKINO MEDICAL GROUP COLLAPSES, HOSPITALIZED

NICO NI NEW YEAR’S CHARITY CONCERT SELLS OUT IN MINUTES

Nico had never been so sick. She’d lost count of the medicines she was taking to sleep at night, and then the additional ones added to get her through tonight’s concert. Then she could rest. Go to her Mama’s house and get babied for a bit. Maki had been so sad at Christmas, with too many family obligations to fly to Los Angeles. Nico had gotten through their Christmas Eve quick chat and then collapsed, barely moving until yesterday’s rehearsal, which wiped her out.

Pounding on her hotel room door. What the hell? Phone pinged, the Maki-tone.

“Open your door, Nico--chan.” Maki sounded angry. Was she pounding? Nico felt even fuzzier, slumping to the door, opening it to fall against a tall, angry Maki, beanie over her hair, sunglasses, and a mask.

“Nico-chan?” Now Maki’s voice sounded tearful.

“Hi, Mrs. Yazawa.” Nico croaked out, hoping to make Maki at least giggle.

Strong arms swept her up, Maki striding across the room, putting Nico gently down on the bed, Maki immediately examining every bottle by Nico’s bedside, “What kind of quack put you on all this?”

“Don’t know.”

“Don’t know? You don’t know.”

“Trainer found ‘em…recommended.”

“You should be in a hospital.” Maki’s voice broke.

“Concert, charity, millions. Nico Nico Ni.” Nico had no idea if what she was saying made sense.

“Cancel. Refund. I’ll make a bigger donation.”

“Nico is a trooper.”

“Nico is a zombie. What the hell kind of irresponsible moron gave you all this?” Maki crashed all the bottles to the floor. “Did they inject you with anything?”

“It’s LA, Maki-chan, the beautiful people never stop.” Nico coughed. It hurt like 50 Umi arrows to the chest, “Nico is a beautiful people.”

“Nico-chan…” Maki was kneeling next to the bed, desperation and weariness lining her face. She’d never travelled well, Nico realized.

Nico managed to flip so she was on her side, managing to smile at Maki, “Hey pretty girl.”

“I am going to sue that quack into despair and destitution.”

Nico blinked, suddenly aware that Maki should be in Tokyo. “Why are you here, Maki-chan?.”

“Hanayo heard a rumor…”

“Did anyone see you?”

“I don’t care.” Maki’s head dropped to the bed, “Papa collapsed...and you’re like this and hiding it from me…and letting some greedy idiot try to kill you...if anything happens to you, Nico-chan…” And the tears, Nico could feel them as she reached for Maki, hot, heavy, rolling off pale cheeks.

“Nico will be fine.”

Maki shook her head.

“Look at me, Maki-chan.”

Maki raised her head. Her eyes were bright. She was always so bright, so caring, her native prickliness a fortification against all the emotions Maki didn’t know how to process.

“I will be fine.”

Maki surged up, her arms drawing in Nico, whose heart was really not rested enough for tackled into bed by the redhead of her dreams. “Maki-chan, you’re going to hug Nico to death.”

“Don’t say that.” Maki’s arm twitched for a minute like she was going to shove Nico away, but then Nico found herself pressed as closely as she’d ever been against a clothed Maki, which would have been amazing if she could breathe. So Nico let a cough out and Maki loosened her hold.

“Let Nico sleep.”

“Okay. But I’m not going anywhere.”

Nico had closed her eyes, muttering, “...love you.”

“I love you too, Nico-chan.”

A-RISE STEPS IN AT LAST MINUTE FOR NICO NI

NISHIKINO MAKI CHECKING OUT STANFORD RESEARCH FACILITIES, POSSIBLE PARTNERSHIP

Nico is officially spoiled. Another morning waking up to Maki curled up by her side...She’d shipped everyone else back to Japan, tour over, a solid break until Nico’s doctor cleared her for rehearsal. Nico sat up, teasing tumbles of red hair, Maki had been very clear that Nico had to clear the steroids out of her system first. But at least Maki hadn’t banned other forms of exercise.

“I’m not asleep, Nico-chan.” Maki mumbled, sounding totally still asleep.

“Thanks for coming to rescue Nico.”

“Don’t make me do it again. I might have to go back to school.”

“I thought you were joining the Board Of Directors ahead of schedule?”

Maki opened her eyes, stretching, “Order pancakes. And bacon. And orange juice. And muffins.”

“Brunch in bed.”

“I’m not leaving until I have to.”

Nico reached down to kiss Maki’s forehead, “It’s been nice having you here.”

“Then come home.”

“Nico is working on it.”

Maki raised an eyebrow. Nico sounded excited. “Is there something I don’t know about?”

“It was supposed to be your Christmas surprise, but Nico’s agent was still negotiating.”

What could Nico’s agent be negotiating that would be a Christmas surprise for Maki?

“I’m going be the main character in a TV drama, based in Tokyo.”

“Really?”

“Really. I didn’t get to be there when your Dad ended up in the hospital and I’m so sorry…I knew you needed me, but...this is our life...” Maki nodded as Nico gestured at the hotel suite, continuing, “And I knew you were going to be super busy with family stuff so I pitched an idea and two production companies jumped on board. Nico is taking a paycut and ownership, but all you’ll have to do is come upstairs and Nico will be right there, at least for six months.”

“Nico-chan…” Maki sat up.

Nico put her arm and pulled Maki in, Maki dropping her head to Nico’s shoulder, “We get through the tough stuff together, Maki-chan. We always have. I love you.”

“Love you.” Maki was falling asleep again. Nico would add coffee to their brunch order. Maki had to be awake enough to sneak out and catch a plane.

YAZAWA NICO TO STAR IN DOCTOR SMILE

DOCTOR NISHIKINO MAKI TAKES OVER FAMILY MEDICAL PRACTICE

If she didn’t have Nico, Maki would probably just live with a grand piano, a huge bathtub, and a couch to eat take out on, Nico thought as she sank into lavender scented steaming water.

“It’s not funny, Rin. And I don’t need weekly updates about who Nico’s kissing on the show.” Maki sounded aggravated. Nico giggled. She’d come home early from a weekend meet the fans event and snuck into Maki’s luxury tub to recover. Candles were lit, Idol music popping.

“Wait a minute, Rin. I think…” Maki’s steps sounded hasty and she was suddenly in the door of the bathroom.

Nico winked. “Hi Maki!”

Maki made a grumbly noise and turned sideways, “No, I’m okay, Rin. There’s just a surprise in my bathtub…” Maki glanced at Nico, “Rin says hi. And you have to stop using my cases, Nico-chan.”

“Did Rin say that? And who says Nico does?”

Maki glared, “Where do you even get your information?”

Nico raised a finger to her lips and winked.

“And that red wig. It’s awful. People think you’re making fun of me.” Maki listened to her phone. “Shut up, Rin.” And the phone went in her coat pocket.

“What did Rin say?”

“Nvermind.” Maki muttered.

“Maki-chan…” Nico splashed at Maki.

“No one would ever call me Dr. Smile.”

Nico guffawed, slapping water everywhere. “I miss Rin.”

“If I had Umi’s bow, I wouldn’t.”

“You love her.” Nico leaned back, watching her wife, who had flopped on the nearby chaise. “So who thinks Nico is making fun of you?”

“Papa.”

“PFfffffff…who cares.”

Maki glared, ‘“We’re trying to keep his stress levels low.”

“Red headed doctors are the best.”

“But I like your hair; it looks like you.”

“But our daughter will look like Dr. Smile.”

That threw Maki’s train of thought completely askew. The closest she could get was imagining Cotaro when she first met him with bright red hair.

“I wonder if our children will look like you? All your siblings do.”

“And they’re cute. But our children will be NicoMaki cute. I’ve seen your baby pictures, you were adorable.” Nico leaned back, smiling up at Maki. “Nico can’t wait to have a family to come home to.”

“You have me.”

“And I love it.” Nico blew lavender scented bubbles at Maki, “But you, me, the cutest children ever in the universe, and Christmas morning.”

Maki couldn’t keep the huge grin back. “I can tell them all about Santa-san.”

“But we’re not spoiling them too much.”

Maki pouted at Nico.

Nico giggled, “That’s what our parents will do.”

Maki got up, taking off her coat, sliding out of her jacket, unbuttoning her shirt halfway and slipping out of her pants. Then she sat on the edge of the tub, feet in the water, toes teasing Nico’s legs. “You’re going to tour less, right.”

“Nico’s not touring now. You’re going to cut down your hours, right, Maki-chan.”

“Just started the search for an Executive Director. And put the LGBTQ+ Health Centers proposal on the fast track.”

Nico leaned over, her chin on Maki’s thigh, “We’ve worked really hard for this.”

“We have.”

“I think Mama knows.”

Maki laughed, “It was that morning she surprised us at breakfast, wasn’t it?”

For once, Nico was the one blushing. “Nico needs…” Nico’s arm slipped under Maki’s shirt, a casual touch on Maki’s back, “more elegant pajamas for entertaining company.”

“No you don’t.”

“You like it when Nico borrows your shirt.”

“No, I love it when Nico-chan borrows my shirt.”

“Nico loves your pajamas.” Nico’s fingers started tracing patterns.

“Ha!” Keeping her cool with Nico this close had always been impossible so Maki just lowered herself into the water, pausing for a messy, wet kiss, “Let’s skip dinner.”

NISHIKINO MAKI AND YAZAWA NICO: DETAILS OF THEIR WHIRLWIND COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE

The interviewer leaned forward as Maki ran a hand through her hair. She was relaxed in a light gray Tadashi Shoji corded lace sheath dress, and confidently answered her question, “It was a long day, my eyes were so tired everything was blurry and I got in the wrong elevator. Nico had just gotten pics of the Ayase twins and we started talking about high school.”

“Talking?” Nico snorted, standing behind Maki, hands in the pockets of bright pink Victoria Beckham trousers, the matching blazer falling open, “It was all Nico’s sex appeal. Nico is irresistible.”

Maki leaned her head back, a private smile for Nico, “Nico is irresistible.”

“Is it irresponsible to take so much time off from your responsibilities to take a world tour honeymoon and then start a family?”

Nico chuckled, her hands on Maki’s shoulder, “We’ve planned carefully. And they’re our businesses. Nico never understood people working themselves to death, not taking time for family. We want to change corporate culture.”

“You’ve always been ambitious, Nico. What’s your next project?”

Nico winked, “That’s just between us.”

“No hints for our viewers, Maki?”

Nico leaned down, arms around Maki’s shoulders, whispering something in her ear. Maki’s full, flaring blush could have been a picture from high school. The interviewer laughed.

“Nice to see you two worked out the Penthouse Wars.”

“Nico is a reasonable person.”

Maki threw back her head, laughing, “Sure, that’s why.”

“Well, Nico is certainly a top…”

“Nico-chan!”

“I love you, Maki-chan.” Giggling, Nico kissed her wife’s cheek.

Nico might have been the only one to hear Maki’s muttered, “I love you, Nico-chan.” But it had always been true.

A/N: Another AU Yeah August request, it started out as Married Rivals, but I was reading a Dolly Parton songwriting book and in the songs about love chapter there were these lyrics from "Between Us":

In our love let's share a friendship between us Always close enough to talk things out Let's be honest with ourselves and each other And our love will never know mistrust or doubt

So I just started writing conversations.

#NicoMaki #Nishikino Maki #Yazawa Nico #married #married life #fluff #minor illness and angst #au yeah august

[scatterpatter]

Corren - 1 through 100 - You did this to yourself.

FUCK YOU *UN-IRONICS YOUR ASK*

UNDER THE FUCKING CUT

1. What do they smell like?

Bad. Do you think their party is able to regularly take showers? I thinketh the fuck not. ... Pine and old books when he can self care tho.

2. What is their voice like?

Listen I know Corren, being taller, would be more likely to have a deeper register but you'll tear "tenor Corren" out of my cold dead hands

3. What is their biggest motivator?

Spite.

4. What is their most embarrassing memory?

When he first met his BFF Alondra, he was so antisocial and good at ignoring people that she actually got the impression he might have been hard of hearing. She never let him live that down. (one day I'll finish this fic i promise)

5. How do they deal with/react to pain?

"I will keep all of my pain in here, and one day I'll die." ... Okay but listen he's squishy so he takes like one hit and is bloodied up. Someone get him a healer. Pls.

6. What do they like to wear?

He likes his cloak. Its weighty and soft(well. WAS soft. got a bit of wear and tear these days.) and like. Who doesnt love cloaks.

7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?

Ohhhhh fuuuccck this one's tough. I might have to go with Torvid honestly. While the entire party has had a positive impact on him(and trust me I was this close to picking Alistair), Torvid's been more of the one to call him out on his bullshit and to, oh I don't know, talk about your emotions? Ever??? Yknow BEFORE they become too much to handle and he absolutely breaks down???

8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?

Alistair's cooking.

9. Describe the way that they sleep.

Good luck finding him NOT cuddled up with at least one dog. Tbh he just enjoys cuddles in general.

10. What is their favorite food/kind of food?

FUCKIN. GIVE HIM A GOOD STEAK. THIS BOY IS MOSTLY CARNIVORISTIC.

11. What do they feel most insecure about?

As tempted as I am to say "His cooking", it's actually his singing.

12. How do they like to dress?

"Comfort over flashiness tbh. I gotta go ADVENTURING in whatever I wear after all."

"... Also don't you DARE perceive me as cishet."

13. How do they react to feelings of guilt?

Call him a genie because he will BOTTLE THAT SHIT UP.

14. How do they react to/deal with betrayal?

Denial :D

15. What is their greatest achievement?

Shrike: Killing his dad

Me: NOOOOOO

EDIT: WAIT THIS WAS ANSWERED IN Q99 WHAT THE HECK

16. What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep?

Somehow more of a dick than usual. Snappy and cranky and just. Mrehhh.

17. What are they like when they’re drunk?

Doesn't get drunk often, but when he does I imagine he's actually giggly and a little clingy. It's cute :)

18. What kind of music do they enjoy?

*Opens my Corren playlist* Oh yeah. It's either full edgy alt rock or indie alt "depressed millenial" tracks.

19. Are they right or left handed?

FFFuuhhhhck uhhhh well

Looking over my old art I can't seem to pick a dominant hand(I've even drawn him handling his sniper with either hand???????????) so like oops guess he's ambidextrous.

20. Fears?

The dark, the ocean, dying alone and forgotten, his friends losing their trust of him

21. Favorite kind of weather?

Rain!!!! Especially cool rain like what people often get in fall months.

22. Favorite color?

Indigo!!!

23. Do they collect anything?

Books :3

24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?

Cold weather by far.

25. What is their eye color?

Electric blue!

26. What is their race/ethnicity?

Well his race is a homebrew race known as Marelienth. Uhhh ethnicity? Idk he's from a mountain town way up north *shrugs*

In human aus I imagine him as half-Mongolian half-Norwegian so ayee

27. Hair color?

Black!

28. Are they happy where they are currently?

No :D He loves adventuring with his party don't get me wrong but he still has a lot of trauma to unpack. ... Also he was just possibly broken up with soooo. :/

29. Are they a morning person?

NOPE.

30. Sunrise or sunset?

*motions to above question* Sunset.

31. Are they more messy or more organized?

More organized, actually!

32. Pet peeves?

*unravels a list. It's all shit the party has done. Mostly Alistair.*

33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?

HOOUSIDSJFK- HE- Y-YEAH HE SURE DOES

His amethyst pendant used to belong to his brother, Julian, and he gave it to Corren right before they were separated so you BET it's sentimental as shit and he wears it daily.

34. Least favorite food?

Mecha's usually a great cook but one time trolled him with some absurdly spicy curry he couldn't handle and he's never forgiven them.

35. Least favorite color?

Hmmm. Maybe... yellow?

36. Least favorite smell?

He spent a year with his party in a damp cave and no showers, so uh. I'll give you a guess.

37. When was the last time they cried?

Literally last night in our game's timeline :D Full breakdown and everything!

38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried?

Torvid :D He was there to comfort

39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured?

One time they were in combat and Corren took a few hits and was down to about 2hp or so. He had a temporary level thanks to Kieran, which boosted his HP a little bit. When he teleported them to a safe town, though, well... Torvid was waiting for them so that's cool. But uh. Yeah that temporary level wore off then and there, dropping Corn Cob to exactly 0hp and he just- flopped down face first in the snow and started dying then and there KJNDKLFNSLKN

40. Do they have any scars?

:)

Do you want to talk about the scar over his eye from a fight he got in with his dad or like. The scars on his limbs from the time he was literally experimented on.

41. Do they struggle with any mental health issues?

:)

Undiagnosed+Untreated Anxiety, Depression, DPDR, PTSD, just to name a few

42. Do they have any bad habits?

Running away from his problems, definitely.

43. Why might someone dislike them?

He's a pretentious nerd. He can be a dick if he doesn't care about you.

44. Why might someone love them?

He's an adorable nerd! He's a hopeless romantic and oddly enough an optimist. He's passionate and driven too!

45. Do they believe in ghosts?

Well ghosts are like- a canon proven thing in his world sooo. Yeah.

46. Is there anyone they would trust with their lives?

His party. Well- most in his party.

47. Are they romantically interested in anyone?

Nethyl :)

48. Are they dating/married to anyone?

He's dating Nethyl and they're in a happy and healthy relationship :) *politely ignores canon*

49. Do they like surprises?

NO >:(

50. When is their birthday?

Heroya 5th! I think. I don't wanna check, assume it's this.

51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday?

"You guys celebrate your watchdays?"

Jokes aside, he mainly just treats himself to a nice dinner and a new book or something :)

52. Do they have any family?

Two older siblings: Julian and Mila. His parents are Andreas and Fanya!

53. Are they close to their family?

... *Coughs*. He was close with his siblings, but Mila died and he hasn't seen Julian in 30 years. Was close with his dad but last time they saw each other, they fought and Corren might have killed him so. ... Yeah. :/

54. What is their MBTI type?

FUCK uh. I... N... T... J? INTJ. Sure.

55. What is their zodiac sign?

In Sekrezia: The eagle

In our world: Uhhh. Idk. Capricorn????

56. What Hogwarts House would they be in?

Uhhh. Ravenclaw??? I know almost nothing about HP :/

57. What D&D alignment are they?

THIS ONE'S EASY- lawful neutral!

58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?

:)

Used to have typical nightmares, nothing special. Nowadays though he often dreams of being underwater. Not drowning, though. It's... weird. He doesn't like those.

59. What are their views on death?

He's a necromancer lol.

Death is inevitable, though. It's a necessary part of life. Death is not an entire loss, though. One lives on in the memories others carry of them, in the love they hold in their hearts. Death is complicated, but that's okay.

60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?

Alistair :)

61. When bored, how do they pass time?

Dog time :)

62. Do they enjoy being outside?

... Ehhhhhh?

63. Do they have an accent?

Technically??? It's an accent from where he's from but like. I just barely tweak my own voice when I rp him so? Damn Corren I'm sorry you've been cursed with east coast dialect.

64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?

"Damn who's the rich bastard here?" (cake is kinda a delicacy in their world- not like elites only but not NEARLY as common as it is here)

65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say?

Reassurance mode to whomever he's with. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm okay. Remember what I told you, death is a natural part of life, yeah? I don't have any regrets, I'm okay... Just. Thanks. For giving me a chance. Thank you. Thank you."

66. How do they feel about sex?

I SWEAR he's allosexual. I'm just bad at writing allosexuals.

67. What is their sexuality?

He doesn't really know how to pin it down, so he just calls himself "queer". Definitely not straight, that's all he knows.

68. Do they become squeamish at the sight of blood?

AHAHA no. He's hella desensitized

69. Is there anything that they find really gross?

Skulking cyst. Look it up at your own volition. It's. NO.

70. Which TV Trope(s) best describes them?

It's 12:21 in the morning and I'm NOT about to scroll through a bunch of tv tropes just. just. NERD stereotype.

71. Do they enjoy helping people?

Yyyyes? Only really if it's the people he cares about.

72. Are they allergic to anything?

Bullshit.

73. Do they have a pet?

WINGTHARA!! HIS SKELE-DOG!!!

74. Are they quick to anger? What are they like when they loose their temper?

Oh yeah he's all bark and no bite. He usually just throws a little fit and/or yells.

75. How patient are they?

More than he should be :/

76. Are they good at cooking?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?

Oh yes he insults the others all the time. No particular favorite, he likes so spice it up.

78. How do they act when they’re particularly happy?

Stim. Stim. Stim. His eyes get all sparkly and he. He.

79. What do they do when they learn about other people’s fears?

He will do everything in his power to assure they won't ever have to deal with their fears alone- You afraid of spiders? It's his job to get the spiders from now on so you won't have to deal with them.

80. Are they trustworthy?

Oh yeah. He's like Rapunzel- doesn't break promises.

81. Do they try to hide their emotions? Are they good at it?

Oh yes he tries to hide it. And yes, he's awful at it.

82. Do they exercise regularly?

Yes and no? No like- exercise regimen, but the amount of travelling and fighting they do is just- a workout in and of itself

83. Are they comfortable with the way they look?

Yeah! He's cute and he knows it baybie!!!

84. What are some physical features that they find attractive on people?

He,,, he likes someone who's physically stong,,, Muscles are,,, aaaaa >///>

85. What kind of personalities do they find attractive?

Someone he can nerd out with :)

86. Do they like sweet foods?

Impartial to it. He won't turn sweets away but he's not crazy about them either.

87. What is their age?

43, the equivalent of- I think someone in their mid 30s?

88. Are they tall or short or somewhere in between?

He's 6'8" :) Which is actually normal for his race

89. Do they wear glasses or contacts?

Sometimes! I like to think he has reading glasses or something like that.

90. Do they consider themselves attractive?

HE'S CUTE AND HE KNOWS IT.

91. What is their sense of humor like?

Julian tainted his sense of humor and now he finds the most dumb shit hilarious. Think very millenial/GenZ humor like "I wish I was Jared, 19"

92. What mood are they most often in?

"I don't get paid enough for this" or Fear.jpg

93. What kinds of things anger them?

People who don't keep their FUCKING WORD. Oh and like. Yknow. Half the shit his party does.

94. Outlook on life?

Again he's??? Oddly an optimist? In the "Things will get better and that is a fucking THREAT" way, but still optimist!

95. What kind of things make them sad/depressed?

Talk about his family :) Or the fact that his boyfriend might want him dead :)

96. What is their greatest weakness?

He's squishy as fuck. He goes down easy.

97. What is their greatest strength?

He's extremely intelligent and great with magic and his sniper!

98. Something that they regret?

Not doing more to stop his brother when he tried to resurrect their sister

99. Biggest accomplishment?

Either convincing an entire town his name is Torren or accidentally convincing some very OP people that he's secretly a dragon.

100. Create your own!

FUCK YOU I SPENT LIKE 2 HOURS ON THIS. NO PROOFREAD. IVE ALREADY DESIGNED CORREN'S AND NETHYL'S HYPOTHETICAL KIDS. ANYWAYS THEY'RE TWIN IRINAGA AND I'VE NAMED THEM AFTER THE DNDADS TWINS: THEIR NAMES ARE LARK AND SPARROW.

#LONG POST #LONG LONG POST #Corren #FUCK YOU DREWSKI <3

[bemusedlybespectacled]

imagine a 50 shades fic where Ana rediscovers kink with someone who actually knows what they're doing, isn't a creepy stalker, actually listens to what she wants, cares about her and her consent, helps her find out actual information about it... and also like, with femdom

I mean, at that point it might as well not be 50 Shades, like it’s trying to make Twilight without the Mormonism (Jewish rewrite of Twilight DO IT) but like. Okay. I feel like there’s two ways of doing it, and I like both for different reasons.

One way would be to play it 100% straight. Like, we’re talking about someone who thinks that being kinky means you’re evil, essentially, like she’s constantly worried he’s going to kidnap and murder her. And the narrative supports this: like, of the two kinky people we meet in the story, one of them groomed a foster child with serious emotional issues and the other one hurts women who physically remind him of his neglectful mother.

So imagine a recently-divorced Ana (who’s still only like 27 because Jesus Christ she got married young) (let’s ignore the two kids because they were plot devices anyway GET AN ABORTION ANA) who is still dealing with the fact that she was in an abusive relationship, but hasn’t really decoupled the kink from the abuse. Like, she doesn’t get that while the kink was part of the abuse, the kink wasn’t the origin of the abuse. But it’s been a while and she wants to start dating again and she’s got this really weird craving for kink. And she thinks to herself, “What the fuck? Why do I want to relive my abuse?” and she wrestles with it for a while but finally she’s like, “SURE FINE I’LL JUST GO AND WATCH.” 

And so she goes to a kink club and she’s brought her own car so she can’t be driven home and she’s not going to do anything, she’s just going to watch... and then she meets like a cute girl who’s like, The Anti-Christian. Like, Ana (and Bella) spend a lot of time rhapsodizing about how everyone they meet is just so alluring and physically attractive and rich, and they are just humble ugly nerds. But “humble ugly nerds” is like 75% of the kink community, and the other 25% are the queer anarchists with asymmetric hairstyles. So she meets someone who is a lot like her, like they both were English majors in college or something, and like, just watches her practice self-tying while they talk about Thomas Hardy or whatever. 

And then she goes home and she’s not even turned on (seriously y’all shibari is actually so slow and kinda boring), but she comes back the next month anyway. And like, part of the story is figuring out that sometimes kink is just being a sex nerd and that she’s not a bad person for being kinky and neither is anyone else, and the other half is figuring out that actually Ana is A Big Ol’ Switch and there are some very sexy scenes where she gets to be in control for once and it’s something that everyone involved is into. Also, strap ons happen.

The OTHER way it could be played would be for cathartic laughter at all the shit Christian pulled, which is not as emotionally compelling but would also be HILARIOUS.

“So, um, when do we sign the contract?” “What contract?” “You know, the contract of all the stuff you’re allowed to do to me.” “Uh, I mean, sometimes people do that because they think it’s sexy, but practically it’s really stupid? Like, you can just tell me what you like and then we can just... do those things. It’s not like they’re legally binding.” “They’re not?” “No, of course they’re not, you can’t make contracts against public policy or for illegal things like slavery. They’re just for window dressing, no one actually– don’t tell me, your ex pulled some shit.” “It was more the non-disclosure agreement than the contract, I never actually signed the contract.” “He made you sign a WHAT?”

#personal #Anonymous #50 shades of grey #jinkies

[purplesurveys]

1185

survey by xflirtykaosx

Alphabetti Spaghetti (3/3)

Please believe. - P

How many pages did the last book you read have? I don’t even remember the last time I opened it; but if I have to guess, it’s probably anywhere between 600–800 pages.

What do you like on your pancakes? Soaked in butter, with peanut butter and maple syrup on the side. My dad will also sometimes mix bacon into the batter, and it always turns out delicious.

Do you like small parties or large parties more? I love going to any kind of party, but I like large ones just a little bit more just because it’s easier to blend in and go unnoticed for the most part. I usually feel pressured at smaller parties.

What was the last exam you passed in? I have no idea. Maybe a history exam? I remember taking a Rizal exam right before the pandemic started and I never got the results for that since classes were canceled shortly after. I’ll never know if I actually passed that test haha.

Do you think paw prints are cute? Yesssssss.

How much would you pay a neighbour to do your lawn? We have someone in the village who does that, and my mom usually gives him a tip of I would guess around ₱100.

Ordinary pens, scented pens, gel pens or felt tip pens? Ordinary. The other ones write horribly.

Are you a people person? I’ve grown to be one over the years. I do like my alone time, but I have the most fun with a person or two or ten around me.

Do you put pepper on your scrambled eggs? No. I never use pepper myself, actually.

Who, except yourself, has the nicest pet? Angela’s, at least one of her dogs are. Hailey is super nice and she doesn’t really care what you do with her hahahaha.

What's your favourite piece of clothing? Right now, probably my IVP sneakers since they’re my newest purchase. Other than that, my mom jeans are always super reliable.

What place have you gone to that you never would again? Police stations that I had to visit to cover stories for my journalism classes. Maybe it’s other people’s passion – and I thought it was mine at one point, too – but once I found myself in places like that I slowly realized that I didn’t have the fire for journalism I once thought I had.

What do others seem to have plenty of and you have little or none? Nice photos of themselves. I’m very camera shy.

Is pink a nice colour, an okay colour or icky? I personally love pink, so.

Give me a description of a great film plotline? ...I don’t feel like it :(( I also haven’t watched/rewatched any films in a while, so my memory is a bit rusty.

What do you have in your pockets? Nothing I’m wearing right now has pockets.

Do you listen to podcasts? Not really. I’m part of the minority that finds podcasts a little boring.

Have you ever played Poker? I’d guess I’ve tried playing it one or two times, but I’ve never understood the rules and I probably just did some random moves when I did try it.

Do you have a pond in your garden? No.

How about a swimming pool? We don’t.

Do you like Poptarts? I loooooove Pop Tarts and I wish we had more flavors here :( and that they weren’t so expensive.

Do you write notes on post-it notes? Sometimes; but lately I’ve mostly just been making to-do lists on my laptop. Writing takes too much time considering how hectic my job is.

Quiet darling, shh. - Q

Do you ever use the word quaint? Very rarely. I never really get into situations where that word would be most fitting to use.

Do you know what quantum physics is? I know of the term from watching The Big Bang Theory, but I don’t know what it refers to.

Are you a quiet or loud person? Depends on the people I’m with, my general mood, and my level of comfort.

Do you usually ask a lot of questions? I never do. I feel like that’s a weakness of mine, too. My mind never wanders too far, and I’m only able to recognize good questions when someone else raises them.

What's your favourite quote from a film? “Rome. By all means, Rome.”

Favourite quote from a song? “Now I’m told this is life, and pain is just a simple compromise so we can get what we want out of it.”

Are you quick witted? In what aspect? Not always; but yeah, I guess it comes out sometimes. I’m pretty good at witty or funny comebacks, especially with people I’m comfortable with.

Do you find the word queer offensive? Er, no?

Roses are Red and Romance is dead. - R

Do you listen to the radio often? I used to, since I once drove to school everyday and I liked having the radio on - especially in the morning, since there was a morning program I was hooked to. But now that I’m at home 24/7, I don’t really tune in anymore; I don’t even have the slightest clue what songs are trending rn.

Do you prefer rain or snow? We only get rain, so.

Have you ever ran into someone and injured you or them due to it? Fortunately no, for both circumstances.

Do you listen to rap music? K-Pop groups always have their own rap sub-unit, so yeah I’ve definitely been more exposed to rap these days.

Do you find pet rats gross or nice? Why? I guess it’s cute when they’re pets, since I’m sure they’re harmless. Not so much when they’re big black filthy rats that are house pests and probably carrying a lot of diseases.

Have you ever been to a rave? No. I’d love to experience it once.

Are you somewhat of a rebel? Nah.

How about reckless? Now this hits the spot more, especially when it comes to money lol

Do you prefer red, black or purple dresses? Black, then red, then purple. I don’t wear a lot of the latter to begin with.

Do you know how to reload a gun? I don’t; I’ve never even held a real gun before.

Do you remember your first best friends Mum's name? I don’t think I ever met her mom. Our friendship was super short-lived and didn’t go beyond preschool.

Do you have a good or a bad reputation? Idk, you’d have to ask other people for this I think.

What song do you request most often on the radio? I’ve never requested a song to radio stations.

Do you prefer rice or tofu? I need rice for literally every meal, otherwise it won’t feel filling. I like tofu too, but I only have it occasionally when it comes with some dishes.

Have you ever held a rifle? Nope.

Do you know a Robert? What's he like? I have an uncle-in-law named Robert. He’s very nice, and super intelligent; he’s from New Zealand but currently lives with my aunt and their family in Vietnam. Since he’s from a different country, he has lots of fun stories and different perspectives to share at family reunions, which makes me always want to sit at whichever table he’s at so that I can be part of interesting conversations.

Do you like rollercoasters? No.

Been to Rome, Italy? Nope.

Are Roses your favourite flower? They’re one of them.

So sweetheart, lets fan. - S

Do you feel safe in your neighbourhood? Yeah, I mean that’s kind of the whole point in living in a gated village. I’d be pretty alarmed if I ever hear of a crime happening here.

Whose the Patron Saint of your Country? St. Lorenzo Ruiz. I actually didn’t know that for a fact, so thanks for the Google search and impromptu lesson!

Do you put salt on your fries? Yessssssss, I need my fries to be very salty. Unless it was already seasoned with something else, I’d find it boring if it wasn’t salty enough.

Do you think we are all born the same? In some ways, yes; in some ways, no. I know everyone is born as humans worthy of love and respect, but when it comes to factors like privilege then that’s when circumstances start to get all different.

When did you stop believing in Santa? I never bought it. I used to always get frustrated that I was never allowed to meet Santa (none of my relatives ever played as him), and that he apparently just likes to leave gifts at midnight. Not seeing a Santa made me doubt and eventually I just kinda stopped buying it by the time I was like 5.

Do you think the name Sarah is pretty? Erm, it’s fine but I find it a little common.

Is Saturday your favourite day of the week? Fridays are, but Saturdays are a very close second.

Have you ever watched Saved By The Bell? Opinions? Nope.

What about the Saw films? Opinion? I haven’t, but I know they’re my eldest cousin’s favorite so it must be a good series.

Are you easily scared? In certain ways. I hate jumpscares for one, and I easily get offended by them.

What's your secondary language, if any? English.

Name all the things you can see from where you're sitting? The entirety of my bedroom.

What's the last sentence you spoke out loud? “JAY KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY”

Have you changed your default settings on your computer? Some of them just to change some aspects of the appearance, but I didn’t do a complete overhaul.

What year did you turn seven in? 2005.

How important is sex in a relationship how important is sex from 1-10? For me, probably like a 3 or 4.

What is your favourite shade of blue? Sky or royal.

Shade of Purple? BTS purple, I guess? Hahaha.

Favourite shape? I don’t have one.

Do you know a girl called Sharon? Nope.

How about Shari? Nope.

Do you shave your arms, legs, pubic hair and/or somewhere else? I shave, but not all of these areas.

When was the last time you were sick? May 2020 was the last time I felt like death.

What's the worst side effects you've had due to a medication? I’ve never gone through side effects from a medication.

What does your signature look like? A very lazy scribble of the first and last letters of my whole name.

Do you like silk? What do you own that is silk? It’s okay, but I never actively search for it. I have one set of silk pajamas but that’s it.

Do you sip or drink hot drinks fast? As much as possible I don’t like getting in contact with hot beverages. I wait for them to cool down considerably before I take my first sip.

How about with alcohol? Sure, I like to take them fast so that I don’t feel the nasty burn on my tongue.

Do you have sisters? How many, what ages and what're they called? Nina is turning 21 this year.

Is your grandmother older than sixty five? Both of them are, yeah.

Do you slam doors often? Nope.

Have you ever slapped someone in the face? For what reason? Yes. Because he had slapped me first. I was in so much shock that my first and only instinct was to hit back.

Do you snack a lot or just eat big meals? I like letting myself go hungry then reward myself with a very generous serving to eat in one go.

Do you smile more often, or frown? Smile.

Are you wearing socks? No, I haven’t worn any in a while.

Do you say sorry too often? Yes.

What's a sound that always soothes you? This. I always play it before turning in, or when I need to calm down.

Do you carry a lot of spare change? How much is on you now? Not so much anymore, since I’ve been increasingly going cashless.

Do you own a swimsuit of the Speedo brand? I don’t think so.

Do you like sunflowers? They have a personal meaning to me, so yes. It’s not my ultra favorite, though.

#survey #surveys #i just realized the author never wrapped this up :( #so i guess we're stopping this at S hahahaha

[peacockwinchester]

Lucifer x Winchester! Author

Nonverbal-ish author? Supportive Luci? Of course Imma write that!!

~Misha~

I sat in the bar, relishing in the absence of my brothers. I loved them, really, but they just didn't understand. Dean was worse than Sam, but Sam didn't really grasp it either. They didn't understand my habits or my triggers and it was hard enough for them to grasp my queer identity. I sighed.

The bar was loud, but I could forget about that. I wasn't here to drink. It was easy to stay on my own in this crowded establishment.

"Hey handsome," a familiar voice came from behind me.

I jumped, not expecting company. I turned to see Lucifer standing behind me. I blinked.

"Mind if I sit?" he asked, sitting anyway.

"What do you want?" I frowned.

"Just wanted to talk. Where are the idiots?" Lucifer put his feet up on the table.

"Bunker," I replied, scooting away from his feet.

"Then why are you here? You don't drink."

"How did you-"

"I was in your brother, Misha."

"Oh. Makes sense."

"So, why are you here?"

I looked up at him, briefly making eye contact. His blue eyes were listening, he was completely focused on me. It didn't make sense. He shoulfn't care. Maybe he wanted to kidnap me or something. But he already would've. Could I confide in him? Would he react like Sam and Dean? I had to try. I needed someone to talk to.

"When I... When I get really emotional... I can't speak. My throat just closes up. Dean and Sam, they don't... It's hard for them to wrap their heads around it. And sometimes I can't do things or I get panicked because of the environment, or sometimes things bother me, like light or sound and they just don't get it... Dean tries to hold me to the same standard as Sam, and I can't be like him... It's like Dad all over..." I sighed, hoping Lucifer wouldn't make fun of me.

Lucifer looked at me, his eyes boring into me so much that I looked up at him again. We locked eyes, and for awhile, I wasn't bothered by the eye contact. I felt like we were the same.

"I might not have experience feeling like that, but I know how it feels when people hold you to the standards of your siblings. Dad always wanted me to be just like Michael. But I couldn't because I'm not Michael. I'm Lucifer, and I was cast out for being myself," Lucifer sighed.

"I get that," I nodded.

I remembered thd first time I asked my brothers to refer to me as a man. They looked at me like I had two heads. Of course, Dean told Dad and he kicked me out for a bit. But the years before Dad went missing allowed me to be myself. And now I'm a man. People look at me and they know who I am. They know I'm not a woman, even though I look like it.

"How about we forget about those douches? Just for the night," Lucifer grinned.

"What do you have in mind?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Just trust me. You'll love it," Lucifer stood, reaching out his hand.

I sighed. What did I have to lose? I took his hand, allowing him to pull me up. Lucifer gave me a huge grin, before everything disappeared.

I blinked. We were outside a building. Old-timey music floated out the doors. I could hear people laughing. I looked at Lucifer. He was wearing a tailored suit. He gestured for me to look down. I obliged and saw my flannel was gone. I was wearing a beautiful vintage dress.

"What-" I started to ask.

"I thought I'd take you dancing," Lucifer shrugged.

"Where are we?" I blinked at him.

"Brooklyn, 1944."

I looked around. A smile spread on my face.

"I'll follow if you lead," I grinned.

Lucifer looked surprised that I was up for this. He grinned after a second and dragged me into the building. We were immediately swept up by the dancing couples. Lucifer showed me how to dance. I would have normally been anxious by the sea of people, but Lucifer's presence was comforting and his hands never left mine.

When he spun me around, I felt my skirt spin with me. It was the best feeling in the world. The song ended too soon. Lucifer looked down at me, breathless with joy.

"Is this okay?" he asked.

I grinned from ear to ear. I couldn't speak, but for once it didn't bother me. I flapped my hands ecstaticly. To make sure he knew what I meant, I made a little heart with my fingers. Lucifer grinned back at me.

Before I could think about it, Lucifer kissed me. I was surprised and it took me a second, but I kissed him back. Lucifer pulled away.

"Sorry, was that-" he began.

I shook my head. I leaned in and kissed him again. When we pulled back, Lucifer was blushing.

"Oh. Ok. I guess you liked that," he smiled slowly.

I nodded and pecked his cheek.

After a few hours, Lucifer took us back to the bar. I was back in my flannel and he was back in his normal clothes. I sighed, not wanting the night to end.

"Can we do that again? I think that was the most fun I've ever had," Lucifer laughed.

I nodded in agreement. Can you hear me, Lucifer? I asked, testing a theory.

"Yes," he replied out loud, nodding a bit.

Could you hear me in the bunker? I asked again, remembering all the warding we'd placed.

"Yeah. I could," he nodded.

I grinned. Lucifer was a little confused, but I think he figured out that I would talk to him a lot while I was there. He smiled a bit.

He leaned in and kissed me. I kissed him back, ready this time. He was the one who pulled away. I leaned in.

"I think I love you," I whispered into his ear.

Lucifer looked at me, a little shocked, but I could tell he was happy.

"I think I love you too," he smiled.

I flapped my hands happily and made a little noise to show my joy. Lucifer grinned from ear to ear. He slipped his arms around my waist and leaned in.

"You're my favorite human, Misha," he whispered.

I grinned and kissed his cheek. He kissed my cheek in return. I have to go now, I said.

"I know," Lucifer sighed.

He let me go reluctantly. As I reached the door to the bar, I looked back. He was still standing there, watching me. I made a little heart with my fingers and raced outside.

#supernatural family #supernatural #lucifer supernatural #supernatural imagine #spn fanfiction #spn imagine

[scoobydoo-nbla]

ummm song i like and want other people to listen to

“Pristine” by Snail Mail

This song goes so far too hard and has lyrics that have stuck with me since I first heard it (and then listened to it for a full week straight). It’s also really fun to sing because she has literally all of the range. The artist has said it’s about unrequited love but I think it could really be about any kind of all-consuming love.

Favorite lyric: “Is there any better feeling than coming clean?”

“Paranoid Android” by Radiohead

Low-key mad that Radiohead gets undersold as that whiny band who does “Creep” because while “Creep” is relatable but super whiny, “Paranoid Android” fucking slaps and it’s literally just about how fucking boring we’ve all become.

“Because” by Elliott Smith

It’s a cover of a Beatles song but I think the harmonies are really beautiful.

“Comfort Crowd” by Conan Gray

It’s basically like “bellyache” by Billie Eilish but more about fucking up and needing a support system than just a song about murdering someone and regretting it.

“Lullaby” by The Cure

Okay so this song is weird as hell but I love it so much. Laurence Tolhurst pretty moan/whispers the whole song but the guitar combined with the hushed, subtle lyrics sound soooooooooooo good.

Actually just listen to all of The Cure’s album Disintegration it’s so good.

“Thinning” by Snail Mail

It’s just a really good song about battling mental illness and trying to get back on track

“Ivy” by Frank Ocean

It’s just a really good song about relationships that have no way of working out but both parties are trying to put effort into nothing and also Frank Ocean’s are amazing as always.

“Forrest Gump” by Frank Ocean

The lyrics are kind of cute in a dumb kids being dumb kids way.

“Prom Queen” by Beach Bunny

I personally find it relatable and it’s nice to know that someone else shares my experiences. (TW: discusses eating disorders and self harm)

“Georgia” by Phoebe Bridgers

This song is really mystical and dreamy and definitely one of those songs that needs to be sung while standing in a lake surrounded by pine trees in November while it’s misting and windy while wearing a sheer white dress and letting it blow back (aka Florence Welch style)

“Running Up That Hill (Deal With Good)” by Kate Bush

This song has a lot of imagery in it and has a similar vibe to “Georgia” but is less low-key

“Townie” by Mitski

Idk if this counts as punk necessarily but I think it’s really badass and fun to sing along to

“Motion Sickness” by Phoebe Bridgers

It’s got a REALLY good metaphor and really good lyrics.

“Paul” by Big Thief

It’s kind of like “Lullaby” but less kind of creepy and more soft but it’s still whispering and I think it’s a really good song to listen to at night by candlelight/make out to.

“Linger” by The Cranberries

It’s mostly nostalgia, but this song is really fun to sing and has a lot of emotion.

“Talia” by King Princess

King Princess is the queer icon we need but don’t deserve and needless to say, I love this song (even though it has the same name as a diva who was in the drama club my freshman year)

“Grace” by Jeff Buckley

Jeff Buckley went OFF. This didn’t need to go as hard as it did but it does and it’s amazing

#thanks for listening #snail mail #radiohead #elliott smith #conan gray #beach bunny #phoebe bridgers #kate bush #hounds of love #stranger in the alps #townie by mitski #mitski #bury me at makeout creek #big thief #the cranberries #king princess

[ckret2]

And because I'm also curious, what is the weirdest thing you have had to learn/research for a story - to the point of "Damn, that's weird. Even for me"?

Every single time I’m writing a nonhuman character—like, say, a dragon, or a giant pteranodon made out of rocks, or a robotic spider—and I realize that the character is gonna be banging sometime soon and that means I have to put at least a little thought into the mechanics of how that works for their species, I have to go to google and type in “spider genitalia” and go please show me scientific diagrams and not weird horny things, please show me scientific diagrams and not weird horny things, please show me—

At this point, my weirdometer is broken. In the past year, off the top of my head, I’ve had to look up:

- what color smoke does a fish give off when you toss it in a volcano? (answer: boring gray smoke. I thought it might be black, which is why I checked, but nah.)

- almost a whole day on researching how volcanos melt rocks when magma is actually colder than their component rocks’ melting points (answer: the melting temperature of rocks is lowered when the pressure on them is reduced or when they’re mixed with water, both of which happens when rocks are forced up through the mantle toward a volcano)

- I was only looking up how rocks melt into magma because I was trying to figure out how to build a glass melting kiln and realized lava wasn’t hot enough to melt glass (much less rocks), so how does a fire get hot enough to melt glass? (answer: if you add extra oxygen to a fire it gets hotter, so you’ve gotta have some way to pump extra air over the fire fast enough to increase the heat but not so fast it also blows extra heat away)

- listen. listen I did… a lot of research on lava. (did you know that most volcanoes form on the borders of tectonic plates but a few come from tiny pinprick holes in the middle of tectonic plates instead? These are called “hotspot volcanoes” and Hawaii is one! The reason Hawaii is a long line of islands is because the tectonic plate on top of the hotspot keeps moving and so the volcano keeps punching new holes up through the plate! The biggest island is the newest and the smallest are the oldest & most eroded, and if you look off the southeast coast of Hawaii a new island is currently being formed by a volcano underwater, and if you look northwest off the coast of Hawaii there’s a bunch of eroded-away underwater islands going off in a dotted line! If you keep following it long enough at one point the underwater islands make an abrupt turn in a different direction because millions of years ago that’s when the tectonic plate Hawaii is on hit another plate and started floating in a different direction! Did you know that we didn’t even know tectonic plates existed until like the 60s?!)

- when was vaseline invented (patented in 1872; also it wasn’t “invented” so much as “discovered,” it’s a byproduct of pumping up oil)

- is it safe to put vaseline on snake junk (yes, in fact it’s often used by veterinarians when they have to prod around to figure out what a snake’s sex is)

- Which frequencies do AM and FM radio operate on, no the EXACT frequencies, how different are they from each other (AM is on 535 kHz to 1605 kHz, or 535 thousand Hz to 1,605 thousand Hz. FM is on 88 to 108 MHz or 88 million Hz to 108 million Hz. Humans can hear from 20 Hz to 20,000 Hz. A Hz, or Hertz, is basically “how many times does this thingy vibrate per second.” So the lowest AM frequencies are vibrating about 26 times faster than the highest sound a human can hear, and the lowest FM frequency vibrates about 55 times faster than the highest AM frequency)

- What was gay life in the 1920s in New Orleans like, no not the 1920s in San Francisco or New York I want New Orleans, no not what gay life in New Orleans is like today I want the 1920s, no not gay history in New Orleans back to the 1940s I want the 1920s and only the 1920s and specifically the 1920s, I will take earlier if you have it but don’t you dare try to tell me about the first gay Carnival krewe in 1958 again— (… this one’s a work in progress)

- how to translate “in the grass” from Old English into modern English in a way that lets you make a grass/grace pun in Middle English (as best I can work out, Old English for “in the grass” is “in þæm græse,” and græse evolved like græse > græs > gras > grass, where “gras” in Middle English is a potential spelling for either “grass” or “grace”)

- I mean, we’ve all had to look up “what were historically-used terms for queer people in the 30s/in the 20s/in the 10s/in the 1800s/etc” and then, tiredly, had to look up “were there any historically-used terms for queer people that don’t sound even more queerphobic than they did back then?” (Fun Victorian trivia: “Greek love” was used as code for gay love because Greek mythology was one of the only places where gay romance was readable—if you had a good enough education to learn that—because it’s Greek and therefore it’s Art and that makes it okay. Another late Victorian term, based on a now-outdated presumption of a correlation between gender identity and sexuality: “sexual inversion,” which means that a given person inverts the assumed gender roles for their assigned sex. So someone AMAB who’s called a sexual invert would, under this theory, be expected to act/dress/present as a woman AND want to/try to fulfill a woman’s gender roles AND would, “like a woman,” be sexually & romantically interested in men. Obviously, this is uhhhh, Not Good by modern standards—but it was an idea put forth by some of the first modern European psychologists to be like “the healthiest thing to do for these folks is let them live out the gender they say they are and to let them screw the way they wanna screw!” so it was an actual step in the right direction. AND it was put forth in an era when sexual preference wasn’t seen as something you’re hardwired or born with but as simply an action you can choose to pursue or not pursue, like deciding to participate in or not participate in a sport. As far as I can see this is one of the first European frameworks that presents queerness as something you are rather than something you do, so a step toward our general modern perception. What I don’t know is how widely the term was known/used in queer communities rather than in psychiatric circles.)

- Exactly how deep is Charles River in Boston (sorta 15 to 20 feet deep, it only gets deeper than 30 feet in a few small spots)

- Exactly how tall are the mountains around Death Valley (god I don’t wanna look this up again, thousands of feet, the tallest is like 11k feet)

- If you’re flying from New Zealand to Mexico but like, not in a plane, you’re just out there flying, what islands are in the area that you might pass over (if you don’t hit either French Polynesia or the Pitcairn Islands you’re kinda SOL until you reach the Galapagos. Also, all three of these island chains are over volcanic hotspots!)

- how fast can a bigass US battleship go (the bigassest ship the US Navy has is Nimitz-Class Aircraft Carriers and they can go 30 knots, which is 34 mph, which sucks. screw that, just get in a car and drive across the ocean)

So like. Aside from bracing in terror every time I have to google animal junk because I KNOW what nightmares are out there? It’s kinda hard to sort out what’s weirder than the rest, because like. I’ve gotta look up everything. Nothing’s weird when everything’s on the table.

Speaking of the potential nightmare-inducing potential of researching animal junk: I wasn’t even looking for this information, I was trying to find out what the breeding season for deer is, but this is what I found out: did you know that when male deer are planning to go get laid, they bend their heads down and pee on their own faces?

You, you know exactly what character had me doing deer research in the first place.

If I have to be haunted by this unwanted unasked-for knowledge, so does everyone else.

#about my writing #gothamopossum #ask

[riathenowheregirl]

Gold Dust Women: My Favorite Witchy Singers

Okay, before you burn me alive with “Where’s this certain artist?!” or “Why is this certain artist not here?!” or “Who even uses Tumblr these days?”, uhmmm me bish?? It’s my safe zone. Okay, the last question was a joke. 

Can I just say that the amazing women on this list are artists I listen to all the time. They’re my favorites, so chill (I’m open for suggestions tho). This is not Rolling Stone or Billboard magazine, it’s just ya girl’s good ol’ tumblr blog. Also, I’m not saying that all of them are literal w i t c h e s, it’s just that they portray the same aesthetic through their art and music. 

Alright, now that’s settled, let’s start.

1. STEVIE NICKS 

Do I even need to explain this? Stevie is undoubtedly the Etheral Queen of them all, the Pioneer, the O.G. Supreme whose lyrical soul and spellbinding voice echoes from the distant past to the inevitable future. Everything about her oozes with witchcraft and magic starting from her iconic top hat, to her millions of intricately made shawls, down to her platform boots. Only Stevie Nicks could pull off such Not-of-this-Era outfits and she has been doing it CONSISTENTLY. She’s in a timeline of her OWN. If you listen to her music, you would notice that every song of hers is poetry, like she’s telling a story or conjuring the unknown. She’s every witchy woman’s icon and that’s a fact.

Stevie is an untouchable yet gracious legend, we’ll always be a part of her sisterhood until the day of earth’s decay. Forever the Queen of Rock N’ Roll. 

Current Favorite Stevie Lyrics:  “ You can fly swinging from your trapeze, scaring all the people...but you'll never scare me.”  |   “Once in a million years a lady like her rises. Oh no, Rhiannon, you cry, but she's gone and your life knows no answer.”

Notice how I used the word “current”? Because it always changes depending on the state my life. Here’s a more detailed post on why I love her.   

2. KATE BUSH 

“Heathcliff, it's me, I'm Cathy, I've come home, I'm so cold! Let me in through your window!”

The eccentric beauty, Kate Bush made a genius, artistic move by writing a song about the book, Wuthering Heights, written by Emily Brontë in the 1800′s. Mind you, she was only 18 when she wrote and was the first song written by a female artist that landed on top the charts. Her voice is almost as distinctive as Stevie Nicks. While Stevie’s more nasal, commanding, wailing rock n’ roll goddess, Kate’s voice was high-pitched, alarming, ghostly, queer, and fairy-like. Everything about her is Performance Art. This is a woman who is not afraid to express herself.

For starters, you might think her music is strange and weird. Trust me, I felt the same way when I first heard her songs. But then, it began to grow on me leaving floral patterns on its path. 

Favorite Kate Bush Lyrics:  “Do you want to feel how it feels? Do you want to know that it doesn't hurt me? Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making? You, it's you and me.”

3. FLORENCE WELCH 

This one is as obvious as Stevie Nicks. Florence Welch from the band, Florence + the Machine, is a poetess, a screaming banshee, and a full-pledged Sister of the Moon. She even started a witch coven during middle school. From her red carpet looks to her everyday outfits on Instagram, Florence vibrates powerful witch energy. Not to mention she has a song called “Which Witch” and that haunting music video for Big God with levitating women. Flo is not a woman to trifle with, I’ll tell you that. 

Photos courtesy of @lillieeiger

In all her songs, Florence will bind you with magic and it’ll leave you breathless. If Stevie’s songs are poetry, hers are spells you could sing out loud. Also, if you haven’t seen her house tour, go check it now! 

Favorite Florence Welch Lyrics: “'Cause I am done with my graceless heart so tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart.”  |  “And in a moment of joy and fury I threw myself in the balcony like my grandmother so many years before me.”

4. LANA DEL REY

Remember when Lana used witchcraft to hex Donald Trump? It was all over the news and Twitter went wild. She was later quoted saying, “I really do believe that words are one of the last forms of magic and I’m a bit of a mystic at heart.” Oh, and she also did a collab with Stevie. 

We. Stan. Forever.

There was even a time that I MEMORIZED the monologue in the music video for Ride. ALL OF IT, HUNNY. 

Lana’s hypnotizing vocals together with her sixties baby doll dresses and Priscilla Presley hair is enough to convince me that she’s not of this era. She has a deep understanding of the beauty of past generation and the looming sadness and nostalgia that comes with it. Whenever I listen to her music, I imagine myself as a rockstar’s muse who is involved with the mafia but then I decided to leave him while taking his gun and convertible. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Favorite Lana Del Rey Lyrics: “Well, my boyfriend's in the band. He plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed. I've got feathers in my hair, I get down to Beat poetry. And my jazz collection's rare, I can play most anything.”

5. LORDE 

David Bowie didn’t call her the “future of music” for nothing. Just two albums under her belt, Lorde already proved that she will one day become a legend herself. Her music narrates an unparalleled interpretation of the anguish and fleeting charm of our youth. She knows what we’re feeling because she’s been there herself and is on the road to healing just like us. 

I think the message she’s trying to say is that we’re constantly losing grip on our innocence, and that life is often wicked so we need to accept that, grit our teeth, get on with it, and make art. She can also see color when she hears music. 

In my opinion, Lorde is one of the greatest artists of my generation. 

Favorite Lorde Lyrics: “The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy till all of the tricks don't work anymore, and then they are bored of me.”  |   “That slow burn wait while it gets dark, bruising the sun, I feel grown up with you in your car. I know it's dumb.” 

6. FKA TWIGS

Honestly, FKA Twigs is literally art in living form, a celestial angel that nobody can easily decipher. This woman has more talent in her fingertips than I could ever have in a lifetime. She somehow reminds me of a young Kate Bush; fearless, experimental, with an intoxicating voice. She never stops reinventing herself and it’s beautiful.

In FKA Twigs’ world, there are no limits, just endless galaxies. She pours her whole being in all of her songs and it shows. She’s not for the faint of heart, let me tell you that. 

Favorite FKA Twigs Lyrics:  “And I don't want to have to share our love. I try but I get overwhelmed. All wrapped in cellophane, the feelings that we had.” 

7. SKOTT 

I say this all the time, but I cannot write without Skott’s music blasting on my earphones. She grew up in a “forest commune run by outcast folk musicians” and was not exposed to contemporary music until her teen years. You would notice it in her songs. 

It’s hard to explain why, but listen to Skott’s music when there’s thunder and rain outside, then you’ll know why this woman is witchy. I kind of want her to be more popular and known, but then again, I also want to keep her to myself. Scratch that, LISTEN TO SKOTT’S MUSIC NOW. 

Start with Glitter & Gloss. 

Favorite Skott Lyrics: “Like an empty canvas, hear me cry. Like a masterpiece, I'm in your eyes. Now your colors are in front of me, we're a picture-perfect oddity.”

8. FIRST AID KIT 

I fell in love with this sister duo when I first heard their song, Emmylou, while browsing YouTube. It’s one of those moments of instant magic. Klara and Johanna Söderberg are a coven of their own. I would describe their music as “Woodland Folk laced with runes and wild flowers”. 

Their voices compliment each other so much that it reminded me of Simon & Garfunkel (they even performed their own version of America in front of Paul Simon!!!). First Aid Kit has this Woodstock seventies vibe, and you know me, I live for that sh*t. 

Favorite First Aid Kit Lyrics: “ When I run through the deep dark forest long, after this begun, where the sun would set, the trees were dead and the rivers were none. And I hope for a trace to lead me back home from this place, but there was no sound there was only me, and my disgrace.”

9. ZOLA JESUS

Zola Jesus’ music deserves to be played with an orchestra inside an abandoned castle in Transylvania while it gently rains and you’re wearing a white nightgown as you roam its empty halls. Is that too much?

 Not at all. 

Like Skott, I listen to Zola whenever I’m having writer’s block. If I ever finish my book, I’m gonna have to thank them. 

Favorite Zola Jesus Lyrics: “I'm on my bed, my bed of stones, but in the end of the night we'll rest our bones, so don't you worry. Just rest your head cause in the end of the night we'll be together again.”

10. ZELLA DAY 

Photo Credits to Harper Smith

I LOVE ZELLA DAY’S MUSIC OH MY GOODNESS. My favorite songs of her are Sweet Ophelia, Hypnotic, Man on the Moon, and Hunnie Pie. ESPECIALLY HUNNIE PIE. I cry whenever I hear that song. It’s just so pure, calming, and beautiful. 

Her music belong in the psychedelic era. 

People labeled her as the “happier version of Lana Del Rey” but I think she’s in a league of her own. She deserves more recognition, honestly! 

Favorite Zella Day Lyrics: “The older we get there's an ocean of people in places we've chosen and you know how mama keeps saying “we've gotta stop the games we're playing””. 

Hope you guys approve of my list! I really like sharing stuff that I love! Feel free to message me for more suggestions, I’d really appreciate to know more witchy artists out there. We’re all in a huge coven of sisterhood. 

Thanks for reading!

Love, 

Ria  🌙

P.S.

Please follow my blog!!! THANK YOU  🔮

#Stevie Nicks #Kate Bush #Florence Welch #Lana Del Rey #Lorde #FKA Twigs #Skott #First Aid Kit #Zola Jesus #Zella Day #Witchy Singers #Witches #Witch #coven #music #witchy music #witch music #magical women #Women empowerment #personal

[jgroffdaily]

[This article appears in the September 16, 2019, issue of New York Magazine.]

Within minutes of my meeting Jonathan Groff, he asks if I would like a slice of cherry pie, and then, only a short time later, if I would like to be eaten by a giant plant. The first I readily accept because Groff and the rest of the cast of Little Shop of Horrors have thoroughly analyzed the desserts they picked up for a bus ride down from New York to the suburban Philadelphia puppet studio where they’re rehearsing for the day, and they’ve all concluded it’s the best option. The idea of being eaten by a plant seems a little less palatable, considering the contortions involved in entering the hippopotamus-esque maw of the man-eating Audrey II, which is operated by several puppeteers, and because I’m not sure if Groff is making a serious offer. I learn quickly that he is always offering you things, and those offers are always serious.

The puppet in question represents the largest form of Audrey II, a sassy carnivorous horticultural oddity that convinces Seymour, an awkward flower-shop assistant, to commit murder in the pursuit of fame, fortune, and a suburban life with the original Audrey, a human who works with him. The day I visit, Groff, playing the misfit Seymour (despite good looks that actor Christian Borle, who plays the maniacal dentist, Orin, describes as “scrumptious”), and his castmates are climbing inside Audrey II one by one, figuring out how each of them will die. Wearing a hat from Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s “On the Run II” tour, Groff jumps inside wielding a floppy machete, which is so un-aerodynamic it keeps getting stuck in Audrey II’s lips. Groff suggests a real machete prop would be sturdier, and they try substituting an umbrella, which flies out more cleanly. Michael Mayer, the director, says with satisfaction, “It’s a belch!”

Staging this revival of Little Shop is “illegal fun,” as Groff puts it. The original ran from 1982 to 1987 but never transferred to Broadway, at the insistence of writer-lyricist Howard Ashman, who wanted to preserve the show’s off-kilter spirit in a smaller space. Ashman and composer Alan Menken would go on to fill the Disney Renaissance — which consisted of films like The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast — with the Marie’s Crisis–ready melodies and queer subversions you can already hear in Little Shop (Ashman died of aids-related complications in 1991). Despite a Broadway staging that kicked off in 2003, this version is staying put at the Westside Theatre Off Broadway in hopes of preserving the quirky spirit of the original. There’s a lot of laughter in rehearsal as well as dress codes like a “kimono Wednesday,” which Mayer enforces by handing me a spare kimono when I drop in that day.

I can’t imagine anyone who is consistently involved in or adjacent to homicide having a better time. In addition to playing a murderously nice guy in Little Shop, Groff stars in Netflix’s David Fincher–produced drama Mindhunter, playing an FBI agent who interviews serial killers; the show is based on the real work of John Douglas, who was one of the first criminal profilers. Considering he’s no big fan of true crime, Groff is somewhat confused about how he became a poster boy for gore and mutilation, though he’s enjoying the texts from friends who point out that even when he does musical comedy, there’s a dark edge involved. A few days after we meet in Philadelphia, we’re talking over breakfast at the cozy Grey Dog in Chelsea, where he insists on paying for everything, picking up all the water and utensils, and getting up from the table to refill my coffee cup when it’s empty.

Groff signed up to star in Little Shop this spring after careful consideration, by which I mean he got the offer and then listened to the original cast recording on repeat for a whole weekend. He’d never played Seymour before, unlike the majority of white male theater actors, but he had positive memories of seeing the first performance of the 2003 Broadway version just after high school, when he was rehearsing the role of Rolf in a non-Equity tour of The Sound of Music. “I wanted to make sure that I’m bleeding for it eight times a week,” he says, which is his measure for doing musicals; he wants to make sure he won’t get bored with the material. Even now, when I assume he might want a break from it during rehearsals, Groff still has the album on repeat. “I never went to college, and I’m not educated, really, so I couldn’t say, like, intellectually why that is,” he says. “When I listened to it, it shot through my heart.”

There’s a clue, however, in the way he remembers obsessing over the film version of the show as a seventh-grader, standing in his kitchen with the song “Skid Row” on repeat — specifically when Seymour sings, “Someone show me a way to get outta here.” It was an appealing message to a closeted kid whom Groff describes as just “a sweaty, uncomfortable person with a secret that was so deep-rooted I wasn’t even flirting with the idea of being myself.” With a little distance from that version of himself (the child of a phys-ed teacher and a horse trainer, growing up in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and occasionally having to clean stables on the weekends), Groff recalls the kinds of tells that seem obvious in retrospect, like, say, listening to “Skid Row” on repeat. Or developing an obsession with I Love Lucy, which he still watches before going to bed. Or dancing along to the Donna Reed’s Dinner Party album when his parents weren’t home. There’s a similar longing in Little Shop, which has the queerest kind of perspective on its central couple, as Audrey and Seymour imagine an unreachable, heteronormative life away from skid row and where she looks “like Donna Reed.”

If there’s a murderous kinship between Little Shop and Mindhunter, it extends to the shows’ shared skepticism about that white-picket-fence-style normalcy. Holden, Groff’s profiler character, is a cardboard cutout of a man with a girlfriend who introduces him to 1970s-style sexual liberation, but he is ultimately more fascinated with the deviancy of the killers he’s interviewing. To play him, Groff shuts down his charisma, amassing such emptiness between his angular jaw and his eyebrows that you wonder if he’ll slip into deviancy himself. It’s a performance of square, even sinister straightness that feels close to the best-little-boy performances of closeted queer men, though what seems to thrill Holden most in the show are his interviews with killers. “Sexuality is so complicated, and the people I’ve ended up working with who have cast me in straight parts are interested in looking at things in a complicated way,” Groff says, noting that he feels the argument about whether gay actors can play straight, or vice versa, has gotten “sillier” as time goes on. “Being out and gay and being myself, it allowed me to find people that weren’t closed-minded.”

Groff came out when he was 23, without directly consulting his agent, after he’d become an idol to the nation’s theater teens of Facebook by starring as the sexy, rebellious, tousle-haired Melchior in Spring Awakening. “I was so compartmentalized,” he says, “singing about sex but then not talking about it.” He remains thankful for the way Mayer, who also directed that show, choreographed the explicit sex between himself and Lea Michele’s Wendla clinically, without asking them about their own experiences. He hadn’t spent too much time worrying about the aftereffects of coming out on his career, which were more limiting in 2009 than they are now. “I did think I might not be seen as a romantic lead, but ultimately I was okay with that,” he says, explaining that he was in love at the time and didn’t want to hide it. “At 23, I’d rather just have a real romantic relationship than pretend to have one with a girl.”

Several years after coming out, Groff booked a leading role in HBO’s Looking, a comedy-drama about gay men in San Francisco, which he calls one of the most fulfilling roles he’s had. The series ran for two seasons and got a wrap-up movie but never quite found a viewership, even among queer audiences, instead receiving, as he puts it, “a total mixed bag of very extreme reactions.” Some of that was because people just didn’t like the show — which was often slower, more interior, and whiter and fitter than people may have wanted — and some of it was because it was “carrying a lot of weight; there wasn’t a lot of specifically gay content on a major cable network.” To Groff, making the show opened him up to the possibility of using material from his own experience in his work. Among the cast and crew, “we would talk about stories about PrEP and uncut dicks and monogamy,” he recalls, among “so many stories about anal douching,” and those anecdotes would make their way into the scripts. He was used to a sort of “closeted training of the mind” to abstract himself from his own experience. Looking taught him he could use it.

Recently, Groff has developed an ability to end up near the center of cultural sensations. He stepped in for Brian d’Arcy James as Hamilton’s fey Britpop version of King George III midway through the show’s Off Broadway run. It was a somewhat ideal gig, given that he was onstage for only about nine minutes a night, performed crowd-pleasing kiss-off songs, met Beyoncé, earned a Tony nomination, and got a lot of reading done backstage. This fall, he’s in Disney’s sequel to Frozen, where he returns to play Princess Anna’s rugged (at a Disney-appropriate level) love interest, Kristoff. In the first movie, while Idina Menzel’s Elsa got the vocal-cord shattering “Let It Go,” Groff sang only a few lines of melody between Kristoff and his reindeer, Sven. This time around, he’s putting his Broadway training to use with a full-length solo. It’s the second one he recorded for the movie, since the writers had one idea for a Kristoff piece (“a jam”) but then canned that song while promising Groff they’d write something different, which he didn’t quite believe. “Then they fucking wrote that other song,” he says, characteristically effusive. “I was like, Wow, and the animation of the song is so brilliant.”

As personable as Groff is and as successful as he has become — and as beloved, especially among theater fans and people like my mother — there’s a point at which he maintains a certain distance, in what feels like a way to stem his own impulses. He doesn’t use any social media, though he did consider it when Looking was struggling, before he realized “I’d have to be good at it and want to do it, and I don’t.” He has never thrown himself a birthday party, because the impulse to make sure everyone’s having a good time would stress him out too much. In behavior that reminds me of both a secret agent and Kim Kardashian, he regularly goes through and deletes all his texts after responding to each of them. “I want to make sure I get back to everyone,” he says, holding his iPhone up in front of me to reveal the remarkably few surviving messages.

Before Groff gets up to leave breakfast and travel to rehearsal by way of the single-speed bicycle he rides around Manhattan, we end up talking about the larger trajectory of his career. Considering that he’s scaling down for a revival run of a musical Off Broadway, was he ever the kind of actor who thought of his work as building up to something? A big film? A franchise? “I think I gave that up when I came out of the closet,” he says. “I gave up the idea that there was an end goal or ideal or some kind of dream to work toward.” An image appears in my mind of the life Audrey sings about in Little Shop, a place that’s comfortable, traditional, and expected, somewhere that’s green. “When I moved to New York, what I wanted was to be on Broadway. That happened and then I came out, and it’s sort of been anybody’s guess since then,” Groff says. “I like when something makes me cry or I can’t stop listening to it. Okay, I want to do that.”

Little Shop of Horrors is in previews and opens October 17 at Westside Theatre Upstairs. Buy tickets here.

#jonathan groff #interview

[iamthehousethatfloats]

dickie and gyro with 26!

So, @neopuff sent me this prompt a HUNDRED YEARS AGO and as I was trying to find something to do for her birthday (I’m late, it was Saturday, SORRY) I stumbled across it. A departure from Scroldie but our favourite unlikely besties, so I thought it was appropriate for International Carro Day! Enjoy!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARRO MY FRIEND!! 💕💕💕

🔭🔬🧪

Gyro Gearloose stood in the doorway of his lab under the Money Bin, systematically banging his head against the door frame.

‘Dickie, will you hurry up? If we’re not up in the board room in the next five minutes, Mr McDuck will cut our funding. You’ll be responsible for losing a lot of people their unpaid internships.’

‘Pfft, Grandpa Scrooge isn’t going to cut any funding. He just likes to torture you.’ Dickie dismissed, rifling through the suitcase she’d brought home from college. She hadn’t even been back to the mansion yet, let alone unpacked. Now she was beginning to realise that hardly anything she’d brought home was actually her own. She appeared in her next catwalk look seconds later, with a plush velvet blazer tossed casually over her shoulders and oversized sunglasses falling lopsided on her beak.

‘What do you think, is purple my colour?’ She grinned.

Gyro glared. ‘You look ridiculous.’

‘Shut up, I look great! It’s all about making an impression, Gyro. If we want the board to listen to our ideas, we need them to remember us.’

‘They know who I am, Dickie!’ Gyro groaned, exasperated.

‘Well, isn’t that part of the problem?’ Dickie intoned with a wink. She held out the jacket and squinted in his direction, visualising.

‘You know what, actually I think maybe purple is your colour.’ She remarked.

Gyro deadpanned. ‘What?’

‘Maybe part of the problem is this whole... thing? You know?’ Dickie gestured vaguely at Gyro’s entire body. ‘Sure, you’ve got style Gyro, but your style screams ‘I’ve got a massive stick up my butt’. Maybe if you loosen up, play it a bit more approachable, you know... Jonathan van Nest it up! Queer Eye for the Science Guy. That sort of thing.’

‘You’re talking gibberish. Again.’ Gyro grumbled.

‘Oh, you know those references. Don’t lie.’ Dickie laughed. ‘Look, I’m sure this little preppy bow tie and waistcoat combo gets you plenty of tail feathers in the gay clubs but this buttoned up look, twinned with your winning personality, it’s not the most power dressing combo.’

‘Wait, what?’ The blood all seemed to leave Gyro’s face. He went entirely white. And then he turned rather pink.

‘What?’ Dickie frowned, replaying her words in her head, trying to figure out what she’d said wrong.

‘Why did you say that?’ Gyro managed, looking like he might be about to self combust.

‘Say what?’

‘Do you think I’m... that I’m a...’ he trailed off, and Dickie frowned, trying to put the pieces together.

‘A raging homosexual? Yes. Of course I do. Of course you are.’

‘I- but- I... who have you been talking to?!’ Gyro spluttered.

Dickie froze. ‘Uh... you? I mean not this you, but still, you. The you in my world...’ Then her brain caught up with her mouth and she realised her misstep. Gyro’s face had turned the same purple as the jacket she was offering him. ‘Ohhhhhh. So here, you’re not...’

‘No.’ Gyro said sharply.

‘Okay. Cool.’ Then Dickie frowned again. ‘But I mean, you are... aren’t you?’

‘Well... I... I suppose. Yes. Goddamnit Dickie, this is none of your business.’ Gyro flushed an even brighter shade of puce.

‘Of course it is Gyro, we’re best friends!’

‘We are not.’

Dickie rolled her eyes and ignored him, as was her way. But even she had to notice how uncomfortable he was, and so she immediately turned her intensity level down several notches.

‘Okay listen, you don’t have to wear the jacket.’ She said. ‘I’ll wear it! I’ll be fabulous enough for the both of us.’

She went to shrug back into the plum coloured velvet, but Gyro stopped her.

‘Dickie... hold on.’

‘Hmm?’

Gyro didn’t look at her. Instead, he stared rather intensely at his own feet.

‘Alright, give me the damn jacket.’

Dickie grinned in utter delight. ‘Really?’

‘Yes, really. But if we don’t get this funding approved and Mr McDuck so much as looks at me funny, you’re fired.’

‘You can’t fire me from an unpaid internship at my grandpa’s company, but sure okay, if it helps you sleep at night to think you can.’ Dickie twirled around in excitement while Gyro ignored her, and carefully slipped his arms into the jacket. As soon as he stopped to smooth out the lapels, Dickie gasped.

‘You. Look. Fabulous!’ She squealed. Gyro flushed again, and she fought the urge to hug him. ‘Come on, let’s go smash ourselves a boring board meeting. And then afterwards we’re going for cocktails!’

‘You’re not even old enough to drink!’ Gyro objected.

‘Technicalities.’ Dickie rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, and Gyro?’

‘What?’ He asked, exasperated. Dickie grinned again and went to pop a folded up handkerchief into the breast pocket as a make shift pocket square. He really did look very dapper indeed. She stood back, admiring her work.

‘I think purple really is your colour!’

#gyro gearloose #dickie duck #international carro day #duck fiction #HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARRO!

[lywinis]

Daisy + Coulson = five times Daisy stopped herself from calling Coulson "Dad" (BECAUSE YOU WRITE THEM SO WELL)

FIVE TIMES MEME - GIVE ME A SHIP, AND A SITUATION, AND I’LL WRITE YOU 5 FICLETS ON 5 TIMES THAT SITUATION OCCURRED

1. 

“You’re going to be fine,” Phil said, his voicesoothing in her ear as she raced through the hallways, her boots pounding theconcrete of the tunnels. “Make another right at the fork here, then headstraight past three doors, then enter the last one on the left.”

“I’m not going to ask how you have a HYDRAbase laid out by memory,” she snarked, even though it was out of breathsnarking that sounded more like whining when it actually was given life withher voice.

“They’re boring and don’t ever change thelayout,” Phil replied. “They had two designs in the forties and they don’t wantchange, not like that.”

“I still don’t get why they’re trying totake over,” she huffed, counting doors. “It’s not like we don’t still havemilkshakes and racism—”

An explosion in the distance rattled thecompound, and she skidded to a stop in front of the last door.

“You know what you’re looking for?” heasked.

“Yep,” she said. “Server room, plug in theUSB key, get the data downloaded, then out. Is it getting hot in the landingzone?”

Muffled gunfire over the comms confirmedher suspicions.

“I’ve got to handle something,” he said. “Meetin one hour two klicks south of here, Quake. Don’t be late, or you’re grounded.”

“You’ve got it, Da—Director. Be careful.”

“Of course.”

 ------

2. 

“You’re up late,” Phil said, plopping downbeside her on the couch.

She shrugged, offering him the bowl ofpopcorn mixed with chocolate candy, grinning as he dug out a handful. There wassomething mindless on TV, an old B-movie with a dude who had a massive chingetting beaten up by undead. Good brain candy, not a lot of plot to follow.

“Can’t sleep?” His tone was one of concern,not one of censure. That was the thing about Coulson; when not in directdanger, his mothering instincts took over and he tended to be a broody hen whenit came to their wellbeing.

Daisy hummed, swallowing her M&M andpopcorn mouthful. “More like my brain won’t shut off.”

“So you’re watching horror movies?”

“More like classics,” she said, gesturingwith the remote as she leaned over, flopping so she rested against his side andhe’d tucked a companionable arm around her. He’d forgone the ever-present suit,though she couldn’t say he looked out of place in the worn Def Leppard shirt(though it was definitely a dad band) and pajama pants.

“You want a classic, you’d watch YoungFrankenstein,” he said.

“Mel Brooks?” she tipped her head back andpeered up at him. “I didn’t think you were a man of sophistication. Aren’t youall about the old reel propaganda and dad stuff like World War IIdocumentaries?”

He snorted. “I can still have a good time,jeez.”

“We’ll see about that,” she said, handinghim the remote. “You pick next.”

------

3. 

“Stop fussing with it,” Daisy said, standing ontiptoe to straighten his collar for what felt like the umpteenth time. “It’sfine.”

“I still feel like I need a tie—”

“If you touch that tie rack, I will ejectall of them out the window at 30,000 feet and May will help me,” Daisy said,swatting at his hands. “Tie is too formal this time.”

He lifted his brow at her in the mirror,watching her hide his tie rack behind another of his suit jackets.

“So, who died and made you fashion coordinator?”he asked.

“The fact that you were going to go todrinks with Captain America in a full black suit that screamed ‘Look at me, I’man Agent of SHIELD! I couldn’t be casual if I tried!’, that’s who,” she said.Her hands met her hips as she gave him a challenging stare in the mirror. “You’vegot game, Coulson, don’t be nervous. He asked you out, so you know, rock thedad vibe and do the dressed down ‘just off work’ look, like you just paid thesitter and are out for the first night for you in a couple weeks.”

“I should make you do burpees for that,” hegroused, though his lips were twitching even as he said it. Her answering smilewas enough, honestly.

“You’ll kill it,” she said. They could feelMelinda taxiing the plane, the dull roar as the VTOL for the BUS kicked in andshe docked them in the hangar. Daisy swore the queer feeling of them slowingdown and changing direction in what was essentially a jumbo jet would never stopbeing weird for her. “And I really, really want to snap your walk of shame, so takeyour time.”

“I really am going to make you do burpees.”

------ 

4.

“Breathe,” he said, cupping her face as hervision cleared. “Take a deep, slow breath for me. Match me.”

She focused on his voice, letting herbreathing take on his rhythm, inhale-beat-exhale-beat-inhale—

“I killed them,” she said, feeling bilerising up in her throat as she said the words.

“Daisy,” he said, forcing her face up soshe was focused on his eyes, too grey like the powder that covered this dustycavern she’d hollowed out for them with the last of her strength. “Look at me.”

She could feel the tears welling up as shedid.

“You did what was necessary,” he saidsoftly. “I’m not going to say there was another way—hell, we might look back intwenty minutes and see a whole other route to get here, where we are now—but I’malso not going to condemn you for saving our skins.”

“I just…I never wanted these powers to hurtpeople,” she said, her voice breaking on the last word. “It was never supposedto be like this.”

“I know,” he said. He pulled her close,gathering her against his chest, and the solidness of him there, and breathing,was enough to bring her a sense of focus and clarity. She clung to him like alifeline, shuddering. She didn’t know how long she wept, but he held herthrough the last shaking sob.

Jemma cracking a glowstick caught both oftheir attention. Daisy’s eye was drawn to Jemma’s face, to the bruising she’dendured at the hands of the AIM subcell that had taken her captive. She feltCoulson’s arms relax, and she sat back, tucking her hair behind her ears. Theothers were already setting up bivouac for the night to let her gain herstrength back; Mack and Bobbi were getting food together and laying out emergencyblankets.

She had her family. That would be enough toget by, until she could put this load down and catalog the hurts anddecompress.

It was always enough.

“Thank you,” she whispered, reaching outand squeezing Coulson’s hand.

“Any time,” he said.

------ 

5.

“Hey, hey, stay with me,” she said, pattingCoulson’s face. He was out like a light, the cut across his brow bleeding freely—thankfullyshe knew that headwounds were bleeders so she didn’t freak out more than she alreadywas. “May, we’re gonna need a Hail Mary.”“I regret ever letting him teach you that phrase,” she huffed over the comms. “Ishe conscious?”

“Not yet,” she said. “He got clocked prettyhard by that aftershock.”

“All right. I’m bringing in the Quin. Getto the edge of the field and don’t show your position until I uncloak. I’mgonna need you to make a run for it, if you can. Mack is with me and can straphim in.”

“Okay,” she said, frowning. “He’s heavierthan last time. Has he been getting fat?”

“Muscle,” May said. “That serum packed onat least twenty pounds of it.”

“Jeez,” she grunted, shifting Coulson intoa fireman carry as she listened carefully for the telltale whisper of the Quintouching down. “You’d think he’d at least have a dad-bod to go with the dadpersonality.”

“If he were awake you’d be grounded.”

“Exactly why I’m saying it now.”

“We’re here.”

The hum of the Quin got louder as the cloakslipped away, revealing the craft close to a hundred yards from where she washiding, and Daisy took off at a jog so as not to jostle Coulson too hard. Shehanded him off to Mack and they got him strapped into the gurney at the back ofthe plane even as Melinda blipped them off the radar once again and took themback to base.

------

+ One Time She Did: 

“Daisy.”

She turned from where she was leaningagainst the window, looking out at the cars below and really just enjoying thesunshine since their extended stay underground.

“I just heard the big news,” Coulson said. “I’mglad. You two always were a good team.”

“Ah,” she said, feeling the flush rise upto her ears. “Thanks.”

It had taken bravery far greater than thefeats she’d done as Quake to pop the question to Jemma, but it had been allwell worth it. She bit her lip, hiding her grin.

“You know,” he said, strolling to thewindow and looking out with her, standing shoulder to shoulder. “I’m reallyvery proud. Of you both. You’ve both overcome a hell of a lot of stuff thrownat you in such a short amount of time, and you’ve become stellar agents alongthe way. You’re exactly the kind of person I was looking for when I brought youon board.”

“A hacktivist with just enough knowledge tobe dangerous?” she asked.

He smirked, tucking his hands in hispockets. “Someone who gave enough of a damn to try and change the world.”

“Someone like you, you mean.” When he didn’tanswer, she looked at him. He was far away, his eyes distant as he looked outthe window. “…Coulson?”

“Hm?” He blinked, seeming to come back to himself.“Sorry. I was remembering when I was that young and full of my own bullcrap.”

She shoved him, gently against his shoulder.“You’re still full of bullcrap.”

“Probably,” he said with a grin. “But Iwanted you to know that I really am proud of you.”

“Thanks,” she said. “I’m glad you came by,because I kinda wanted to ask you something.”

“Shoot,” he said, giving her an awkward pairof finger guns. She supposed it was only awkward because it was Coulson, and hemanaged it at some of the best times.

“I was wondering if you would, uh, walk medown the aisle?” she asked. She rubbed the back of her neck, cutting her gazeaway. “I don’t really have anyone else I’d rather do it, and I mean, you’rebasically my dad anyway and—”

She cut herself off, clenching her jaw. Oh,that was the wrong thing to say. She’d never wanted him to know that she lookedat him like that, he was already sensitive about that sort of thing and—

He sniffed. She looked up and found himwiping at the corners of his eyes with his thumb.

“I’d be happy to,” he said, his voicethick, like he’d gotten something caught in his throat. He coughed softly, meetingher gaze then. “I’d be honored.”

“Thanks,” she said. “I just…is this gonnamake things weird? Me calling you Dad?”

“Weirder than they already are?” he asked. “Idoubt it.”

“Good,” she said. She leaned into him, andhe wrapped an arm around her. “You want to go get some food? I’m hungry.”

“Hi hungry,” he said, and she could hearthe laughter in his voice. “I’m dad.”

“You are so lame,” she squawked, shoving at him even as he laughed at his ownterrible joke.

#lywinis writes #lywinis memes #Capsicoul #Bioquake #at least in the background #readmore because whoo that was 2k words I wasn't expecting LMAO #waverly-earp

[apicturewithasmile]

I am super fucking bored and want to procrastinate going grocery shopping so I decided to answer every fucking ask (that I liked) of that LGBT ladies ask list.

EDIT: I’m halfway through and I gotta say: If you wanna watch me lose my shit as the questions progress into more and more biphobic and misgynistic territory then you came to the right post on tumblr dot com.

1. How do you define your sexuality? ---- bisexual and queer 2. At what age did you first realize that you like girls? ---- pfff... 13? 5? 21? Who knows? 3. At what age did you first come out? ---- 13ish 4. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it? ---- I don’t know? Friends? I don’t think they reacted in any particular way because it was just an off-hand comment of mine and I hardly remember anything about it. 5. How out are you? ---- Very out. Could hardly be outer. 6. Has coming out lost you any friends? ---- Not sure about one friend who sorta stopped contacting me after I mentioned I’m bi. But we were growing apart anyway so maybe it’s a coincidence. 7. What is your current relationship status? ---- I have a boyfriend. 8. How many LGBT friends do you have? ---- Too many to count but still not enough. 9. Do you have any LGBT relatives? ---- Not to my knowledge but I don’t know many relatives of mine. 10. Have you ever cut your hair super short? ---- It is super short right now! (just had my pixie recut) 11. How often do you wear flannel? ---- Never. 12. How much do you like cats? ---- A LOT! 13. Do you wear skirts and dresses? If so, how often? ---- In summer I won’t be seen dead in pants! In winter I do wear pants more frequently but I consider dresses and skirts to be my natural form! 14. Do you wear high heels? If so, how often? ---- Rarely. Only for special occasions. 15. Do you have any tattoos? If so, what of and where? ---- Nope. 16. How accurate is your gaydar? ---- I think it’s okay. 17. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? ---- Yes. 18. How do you feel when platonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends? ---- Let them do whatever they want. 19. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? ---- Unfortunately yes. 20. Ellen or Portia? ---- Neither. 21. Is your nose pierced? ---- No. 22. Would you ever want to get married, if not already? ---- Nopey nope! (unless it’s for financial/bureaucratic reasons) 23. Will you wear a dress for your wedding? 24. Would you ever want to give birth? ---- Meh. I like children and in a different timeline I definitly have some but... not in this one. 25. Have you ever watched The L Word? ---- No and I don’t plan to watch it since I’ve heard nothing but negative stuff (trans- and biphobia) from sources whose judgement I trust. 26. Have you ever dated a guy? ---- I am dating a guy right now. 27. How do you feel when someone uses the word gay to mean stupid, dumb, or boring? ---- it’s annoying and homophobic 28. How many rainbow items do you own? ---- Not that mayn actually but I do have some bi merch. 29. Have you ever been to a pride festival? ---- Yes, in Berlin and Brighton. 30. Have you ever celebrated National Coming Out Day (October 11)? ---- Not really celebrated but acknowledged its existence, I guess. 31. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence? ---- I have never heard of that. 32. Have you ever worn a woman’s suit? ---- I.... guess so? I don’t know. 33. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing? ---- Do my boyfriend’s shorts count? 34. Do you eat meat? ---- No. 35. Do you consider yourself a feminist? ---- Yes. 36. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity? ---- Elton John 37. Are you religious at all? ---- No. 38. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peak or staring at a cute female woman? ---- probably more often than I even notice I do. 39. What is your ideal first date? ---- Coffee date! 40. Are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, dyke, or tranny? ---- I use neither of those for myself and also wouldn’t use them for anyone else unless they explicitly told me it was okay. 41. How outdoorsy are you? ---- Little. 42. In general, has being open about your sexuality affected your relationships with other females women (jesus fucking christ stop calling women “females”!!! we’re not cattle)? ---- I don’t know. Maybe it has intensified some friendships just because I started being more authentic. 43. How much makeup do you typically wear? ---- Usually none at all, sometimes lipstick and when I’m feeling very fancy some mascara and eye liner. 44. Have you ever attended a gay or lesbian wedding? ---- No. Well.... I was at a wedding of a bi women and a bi man but I know some fractions of the LGBTQIA+ community wouldn’t say this counts. 45. Are you more feminine or more masculine? ---- I’m... me? I guess others would say I’m more feminine. 46. How long is the longest relationship you’ve been in? Are you still with that person? ---- 1 1/2 years and counting :) 47. Have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters? 48. Do you think it is possible for someone to truly be a 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed in favor of one gender? ---- I think the person who wrote this question has a very wrong understanding of what bisexuality is; and the way this is phrased makes it really sound like “do you think bisexuality exists or is everyone really just gay or straight?” 49. Have you ever wished you were completely straight? ---- No. 50. Do you watch any LGBT YouTubers? ---- Alayna Fender, Ash Hardell, ContraPoints and Lindsey Ellis 51. Do you wear any combat boots, Doc Martins, or Timberlands? ---- I have a set of boots with floral print. 52. Have you ever been hit on by another female woman (djkbdnkmg)? ---- Yes. 53. How athletic are you? ---- Not at all. 54. What are your views on gender identity and bathroom use? ---- Let people be whatever gender they want to be and fucking let them pee!!! 55. What is your opinion of septum/bull nose piercings? ---- Not for me but looks good on some people. 56. What does equality mean to you? ---- It means equality. 57. If you are not a lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other females women? ---- okay I’m starting to hate this list of questions more and more the further down I get. Has this person ever talked to a bisexual person before??? Has this person ever talked to another WOMAN before??? “If you’re not a 100% lesbian then.... how much percent lesbian are you?” 58. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend? ---- Never had a girlfriend. 59. Have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you? ---- No, but my name is rare in my country. 60. How flirty are you? ---- VERY! “Flirty” is my middle name. 61. Are you a virgin? ---- No but virginity is a shitty concept that should be abolished. 62. Do you listen to any LGBT musicians (i.e. Tegan & Sara, Melissa Ehteridge, Chely Wright, Elton John, Sam Smith, George Michael, Adam Lambert)? ---- ELTON JOHN!!!! Also Sia, David Bowie, Janelle Monáe... 63. Have you ever been told that you are too pretty to be gay? ---- No and I’m not gay anyway. 64. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality or gender identity? If so, please explain. ---- Not that I can remember but I did have to listen to some biphobic bullshit in my lifetime. 65. Have you ever driven an SUV, Jeep,  or a pickup truck? ---- I can’t drive. 66. Are you or have you ever been a tomboy? ---- No. 67. Agree or disagree: Everyone is at least a little bit gay. ---- Again, I think the person who wrote this is forgetting the existence of bisexuality and pansexuality and any other m-spec variation. And also... straight people exist. 68. What personality trait are you most attracted to? ---- Know that tumlr post that’s like “name a non-sexual act that turns you on” and someone responded “when they reply to your sarcasm with something even more sarcastic” 69. Boobs or butts? ---- Both. 70. Beer or wine? ---- Wine. 71. Do you have a favorite lesbian movie? ---- Don’t really watch “lesbian movies”. 72. From 1-10, how attractive are muscular women? 73. From 1-10, how attractive are women who wear glasses? 74. From 1-10, how attractive are women who are covered with tattoos? 75. From 1-10, how attractive are curvy/plus-size women? 76. From 1-10, how attractive are women with short hair? 77. From 1-10, how attractive are masculine butch women? 78. From 1-10, how attractive are highly intelligent women? 79. From 1-10, how attractive are tall women (i.e. around 6 feet or taller)? ---- If you think I’m gonna rate women on a scale like some misogynistic fuckboy then you are wrong! 80. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? 81. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? Have you? ---- “Has a girl ever perpetuated a bisexual stereotype that I want to confirm so I can continue distrusting bisexuals?” 82. Do you carry a purse? ---- Usually I have a little backpack but I also have purses for spexial occassions. 83. Do you wear any hats such as snapbacks or beanies? ---- I wear a bowler hat in fall/winter 84. Have you ever pretended to be completely straight? ---- What is it with that “completely” straight? As if someone can be half straight. Newsflash: Bisexual people aren’t Gay Lite or Straight with a dash of Gay. 85. Would you ever date a trans girl? ---- Yes, of course I would. 86. How well do you think LGBT women are portrayed on television? ---- Usually not that accurately. 87. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s much older than you? ---- Hmmm... usually the women I fall for are closer to my age. Men on the other hand... I like them old! 88. Do you have any celebrity crushes? ---- Yep, lots. 89. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military? ---- Potential murderers, just like anyone else in the military. 90. Do you believe in love at first sight? ---- No. But I believe in attraction at first sight. 91. Have you ever been told that you look gay (i.e. like a lesbian)? ---- No. 92. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? ---- In your friend circle. 93. Is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? ---- Yes. 94. Have you ever had a one night stand? ---- Yes. 95. How often do you wear a bra? ---- Most days but in summer I sometimes go without one depending on my outfit and the temperature. 96. Have you ever been part of a softball team? ---- No. 97. If you could live your life all over again, would you still be attracted to other women? ---- Yes. 98. What stereotype about LGBT women do you disagree with the most? ---- I disagree with all stereotypes because the function that stereotypes are supposed to fulfill is to give people permission to single out a group of people and judge them. Some people fit a stereotype - so what? Doesn’t mean all other people from that group do the same. 99. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? ---- Take your time, be kind to yourself, talk to other queer people. 100. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to come out?  ---- Put your own safety first. If someone doesn’t accept you then they don’t deserve being a part of your life.

#about me #ask thingy #oh the low-key biphobia in this one is too much for me to not be passive aggressive about it #((((:

[esperanzafuentes-archive-blog]

new year → reyza

Where:  London Skybar

Summary: Reyna takes Esperanza to London Skybar so they can ring in the New Year together. Turns out... they can never be just friends. 

Written with: @reynasantos​

Reyna has surprised Esperanza earlier by telling her to get dressed in something sexy and formal because they would be leaving at nine. That was all the instructions she gave her ex because they were going to bring in the new year together. Now, they were at the London restaurant Sky Bar for their first actual date. The thing was, Reyna honestly didn’t know how to act with Esperanza. She was used to the woman being scared of being public, and even though she was out now, she had no idea how she felt about PDA. She kept asking herself if she liked holding hands, if a kiss on the cheek would be okay, or if she could wrap her arm around the woman’s waist. Unfortunately, each answer came with an I don’t know. Now, she had left to the bar to grab them both some drinks and was walking back to the beautiful but mystifying woman. Reyna wanted to bring the new year in with her, but she was also more nervous than she let on. “Hey,” she said with a small smile. “Here you go.” She handed Es her drink and then took a sip of her own. The area around them was beautiful. Eventually they would have a complete view of the fireworks in the sky when the new year rang in. “So, do you like that I dragged you out tonight?”

Esperanza hadn’t exactly questioned her ex when she was told to be dressed by nine. The brunette had looked up at Reyna from her glasses, and sheet music full of notes...it was easy for her to agree. Anything that would get her from giving herself a headache with the work in front of her. In the hours that Rey has given her, Esperanza has gotten done up and had found a short but flowy long sleeved navy dress that she had quite frankly forgotten all about . The Sky Bar was by far the most beautiful view of London Es has seen. She felt the artist in her just taking in what was before her, wanted to keep it in her memory for future reference. Pulled out of her own head, she faced towards the bar in the direction Reyna was coming back in, the cellist thanked her and gave her a nod. “Honestly, yes. If you hadn’t, I’m sure I would’ve called it a night before midnight.” She admitted, taking a drink from her glass. It was true that she wasn’t much of a partier, but she was keen to be spending time with Reyna outside of the mansion. That while big, could feel stuffy quick. “How’d you choose this place?”

“I’m glad I saved you from turning seventy early then,” she teased lightly before taking another sip of her drink. She had managed to get them a small high top table to sit at, so she leaned forward to make sure she heard Es when she spoke. “One of my cast mates actually. He’s from here and told me it’s the most romantic way to bring in the new year. Since we’re starting new, I thought it was an appropriate first date,” she said with a shrug as her finer traced the rim of her glass. She had been thinking of the best way to find out Es’ preference when in public, and well, had come up with what she thought to be the least painful method. “So, when the clock strikes twelve, am I giving you a kiss or waiting til we get back to the mansion?”

Esperanza purses her lips to keep from smiling at the joke but her eyes gave her away. The brunette just valued sleep, that was all and every New Year was the same. Drink till you were drunk and couldn’t see straight, watch your friends make irreversible mistakes then go home after the ball dropped. A couple of years of that and Esperanza had gotten bored and declared herself the New Year’s DD. “The guy certainly know’s what he’s talking about because it’s stunning.” She brought her glass up for a drink and tilted her head at Reyna’s questions, a little confused. “Isn’t the whole point of the clock hitting twelve kissing someone? To welcome the New Year with love?” She asked, a smile tempted her bail her out of it.

Seeing Esperanza almost smile was always cute to witness. The woman honestly was insanely beautiful, and Rey adored just about every inch of her which she had shown when they were younger on many occasions. “It is,” she said with a nod. “I’ll introduce you when you start up practicing again. Everyone wants to meet you actually,” she said with a playful roll of the eyes. While she was never against showing Esperanza off, the show brought a ridiculous factor to it. People who saw her every day and could just ask how her night was instead watched the show. It was slightly creepy. She teased and called them stalkers all the time. “It is,” she said with a nod. “But I don’t know how you are with PDA and things like that. I’ve never been with you when that was a thing.”

At the mention of meeting them, she felt a pang of discomfort just because she had always been someone that liked to keep her professional life just that professional. But, Esperanza wouldn’t let that discomfort give her away. Plus, it wasn’t that deep. She always made things more serious in her head anyways. Smart but an over thinker by default. She’d meet them at some point anyways, it wasn’t like she could escape the cast when she was down in the pit. Esperanza also acted as if her entire life wasn’t on display for the world to see. “Aright, yeah, that’s fair.” She had to remember that Reyna didn’t know her as someone who was out and not as nervous about being queer in public. “PDA is fine, Reynita. A lots changed, babes.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t share you too much. While I’m out and whatever, I’m still a fairly private person. Enough of my life is being shown through the show, so I don’t need to divulge even more,” she said with a shrug. She never gave away too much in interviews before either. Sure, she’d gush about a significant other from time to time, but some details were hers. Most celebrities were the same. They had to keep some things to themselves to feel sane. “I know a lot has,” she said after taking another sip of her drink. “It’s just learning what has and hasn’t. I was always a pretty strong personality even as a kid, so a lot of things with me have remained. I’m more patient now though. I would never pull what I did with you in high school as an adult. Yeah, I was frustrated, but that gave me no right to push you to do anything,” she finally admitted. She needed to. If Esperanza was willing to give her another shot, then she had to start honestly. “When that clock strikes midnight, my goal is to not mention our break up ever again, so whatever needs to be aired out for us to start fresh and be as okay as we can be, I think we should do it now.” Reyna would rather rip off the bandaid than slowly unpack things. Luckily with them, the damage was mostly on her end. She was literally the definition of a bone head. “That is, if you’re up for that. If you’re not, that’s okay too. I’ll still kiss you at midnight and date you. I promise, no more ultimatums from me to get my way. It’s manipulative and honestly, just not fair. It leaves very little room for communication. I’m a brat and dramatic, but that doesn’t mean I have to be an asshole.”

Fame was definitely going to take some getting used to, all Esperanza really wanted to do was create things. Getting on IKAG was more of her trying to push herself out of her comfort zone, to meet new people and find whatever she was actually looking for in her sabbatical. Esperanza hadn’t figure figured out what it was but she’d given herself a year to figure it out. Her ex wasn’t wrong when she said that there was a lot to learn, on both ends really. Esperanza played with the rim of her cup, making small circles as she listened to the actress. “I think that’s a good goal. I mean— how much more is there to say about it?” She asked, tilting her head, “I mean, it’s been over ten years, we were incredibly young, ambitious in our own rights, and in love.” She explained with a sigh, to think back to when they had originally gotten together was pure, and intense and honestly, Esperanza for a long time had chopped it up to it just being that— a first love. As she would show her though, make she had been lucky enough to find that person early on. Shame that it had gone downhill but again, age would prove that it was probably for the best. “Is there anything else that you want to say about it though? I don’t would hate for there to be something that gets lost in.... all of this, y’know?” When Reyna mentioned that she’d like to date her, Esperanza straightened up for a second, “Wow, look at you. I would love that, really, Reynita. I don’t think it was manipulative, especially given our age. We really were just trying to make things work.” She reassured, giving a shrug. When Reyna called herself a brat, the cellist rolled her eyes and mentioned that there was only room for one brat In their relationship. “You’re not an asshole.” The brunette said, taking one of Reyna’s hands in herself and giving it a squeeze.

Reyna didn’t know what more there was to say about it honestly, but she wanted to make sure there weren’t any hard feelings. Resentment was a killer in relationships, and well, that was what she was trying to avoid. “You’re okay? You still have some walls up, and I don’t think even you notice. You’re pretty oblivious when things don’t involve music,” she said with a small chuckle. “I can’t really tell if this is something you want since you’re kind of just going with the flow that I set I guess.” She didn’t know how else to put it, and she hoped Es could still read her enough to know what she meant. Reyna had apologized which is what she needed. Holding it against Esperanza that she just left the next morning wasn’t going to do anything. Yes, it hurt because they were girlfriends and best friends, but nothing could be done to change it. Reyna rolled her eyes but kept a smile on her face at Esperanza’s comment. “Yeah, well, I figured you would hate it if I was sleeping around in the house, and if I’m exclusive with anyone then it better mean something because these goods aren’t free.” Reyna wasn’t someone who committed often which would most likely be shocking for Es to hear. She fooled around a lot in college, and only had like two serious relationships since they broke up. One could say she didn’t like commitment after everything, and well, she wouldn’t be able to argue it. “Mm I can be one for sure. You don’t see it often, but my ego and alpha mentality can make me a bitch, but I embrace it. If I wasn’t as picky about how I like things done, I wouldn’t be where I am. Our relationship isn’t a place I want that to be though. I can’t always get my way which is hard for a controlling person to accept, but that’s what’s fair. It wouldn’t be a relationship if I dictated everything.” She rubbed her thumb against Esperanza’s hand that was now holding her own and just enjoyed the fact that they could actually talk maturely now. It was a big change from teenage hormones.

At the mention that she still had walls up, Esperanza pushed her lips to the side, giving it a thought. Maybe it was something that she hadn’t realized because it had been so long. It probably happened over time, a slow build up to what had happened. Esperanza had always used music as a coping mechanism but in college, it definitely intensified, when it became the only thing she did up until her accident. To which she turned to boxing, all of which her only played into her need to have an outlet. “I think music has just been my thing, Reynita. Y’know? It’s been a constant in my life and it’s been the one thing that’s always been there. I definitely don’t realize it,” She explained, almost nervously picking at at her fingers. She huffed playfully when Reyna said that she’d hate her sleeping around which... the other wasn’t untrue and she bit the inside of her cheek, “I mean— I don’t want you to be with me because you think I’d be jealous.” She told her, her eyebrows pulling together, Esperanza knew that it probably wasn’t the only reason but still. She wanted Reyna to be sure. “That’s fair and valid, I definitely want things to be fair between up and there be a balance in our relationship. You’re right though, it wouldn’t be.” It was good that they could actually talk to each other without it ending in a screaming match or tears.

“Hey I get it,” she said with a smile. “I’m not someone you ever have to explain your love for music to. We might have different specialities, but that’s something we’ve always shared. I’m just telling you that it’s hard for me to read where you are with all this.” Typically Reyna would try to make Esperanza jealous so she could see where the woman stood or other little tests, but she was trying to not be a little shit. Communication had to be better if they were gonna work. The shit she usually did with people wouldn’t fly. Esperanza would call her out on it in a minute, so talking about things even if it made her uncomfortable was best. “Babe, I would never be with someone or do anything for that matter if I didn’t want it,” she said with a laugh. “I’m not a self sacrificing person. For the most part, I always look out for me and put me first. The only times that isn’t my default is with those I love. So, I wouldn’t mention wanting to date you if it wasn’t something I wanted. I’d just do my own thing.” While some people wouldn’t openly admit to being selfish, Rey definitely knew that about her. She was an immensely loyal person, but only to those she loved deeply. If you were in her inner circle, she’d die for you. Otherwise, she wouldn’t give you a passing thought. “Yes, balance which means you have to tell me what you want too. I know you’re more quiet and let your actions do the talking, but you’ve got to talk to me for me to know what page you’re on. It’s beautiful that I can read you so well and you me, but I won’t be able to 24/7.”

“I know, I know. But it’s become more than just that.” She explained, wanting to really explain what was going on in her head. It was going to take her a lot to work on stopping that habit of turning to art and boxing. As someone who would rather avoid confrontation, Esperanza just took time outs, to find whatever peace she was looking for. The brunette would always come back to the situation with a clear head even if it meant avoidance. That wasn’t going to slide with Reyna at this point.   The brunette laughed, noting that it was something good to know that she wouldn’t do something to make her jealous. Plus, doing that would completely destroy what they were trying to do in bettering their relationship. “I’ll work on it, Reynita. You’ve just got to give me a second to re-wire my brain, yeah?” It wasn’t that she needed completely undo the work she had done, just when it came to Reyna, Esperanza needed to be more direct with her needs, wants, feelings, the whole ordeal. It was the only way to make them work and truthfully, the cellist couldn’t imagine letting Reyna go again over anything petty. If it happened because they realized that they just weren’t compatible anymore, fine. They had tried and it didn’t work but over miscommunications or no communication, she couldn’t let that happen. “Te quiero, si? Ningunas de las pendejadas que hice antes van a pasar otra vez. No tengo medio de estar contigo.” With her words, the younger woman brought Reyna’s hand up to her lips and pressed a kiss against it.

Reyna luckily had grown more patient and secure in herself over the years. While patience still wasn’t a forte, she didn’t need to know everything right then and there. As long as she knew where Es stood in the moment, she was fine. Everything else, well, it would come. “Take all the time you need, Es. Honestly, I’m not going anywhere. You’re too hot to lose my attention,” she joked before adding a wink for good measure. Honestly though, her ex had only gotten more good looking with age, and she was not about to complain about the boxing. All she had to say about the woman’s body was damn. That about summed it up. “Yo te quiero tambien,” she said with certainty because she did. Not loving the woman was never an option. It was more hating that she had to learn how to live without her for so long. “I know you don’t. You’re kind of on a TV show for gays. I think you’re way out of the closet,” she joked. It was true though. Everyone was going to know they were a couple which was more than they typically would bargain for. “You know, my family has already asked me when I’m bringing you back home. Luckily, my schedule doesn’t allow much time off, so you can dodge it for awhile.”

She scrunched her face up at Reyna’s comment of her being too hot to lose interest. She definitely didn’t give herself credit and was often oblivious to people pointing those things out; while Reyna had known her forever and was being honest, Esperanza couldn’t help but blush. She was glad that there was still feelings there after so many years of hurt later, the more time they spent together, Esperanza couldn’t believe that they spent so much time apart. The mind crazy things to cope. “I’m actually still in the closet, didn’t you know?” Esperanza joked with a playful chuckle. At the mention that her family was already asking for when she’d be going back home, surprise without a doubt over took her face. Not because she’d be out at home with Reyna but because she’d be... home. It had been twelve years, the last time she was home was when she left for Boston and she hadn’t been home. Esperanza hadn’t even stepped foot in the state. Being home was something that she couldn’t even begin to imagine. “I think it’s going to take a second before I can show up there again. I mean, Abuela is ready to beat me up.” The cellist admitted, the last time she had seen the neighborhood grandmother, Esperanza had made her get on a train to Boston and then flew them out to Cuba once the borders had opened up. Each time Abuela asked her to go home instead and Esperanza refused both times.

Reyna shook her hand at the woman’s antics. The playfulness that Esperanza had was one of her favorite things about the woman. Her brother had already started teasing her about how whipped she was going to be which she’d never admit, but she knew was going to be true. “Can I stay at yours tonight,” she asked before biting her lip. Did she want the woman beside her? Absolutely. She also just loved how affectionate Es was. Her words didn’t say much about her feelings, but her reaching out for contact said plenty. Reyna squeezes Es’ hand to give some silent reassurance. “It’s okay, take your time. I honestly probably won’t be going back for a few months, and when I do, you can decide if you want to come or stay. We can always come up with some excuse that I’ll back.” She knew it would be hard for Es to step back into the world she has left behind so long ago. The singer had explained as much to her mother. “Whatever you need. Plus, my family will probably come out here at least once. Well, some of them at least.”

A warmth filled her when Reyna posed the answer and some how, she was still surprised about her ex wanting to be with her. It was something that she never saw in her future. “Please do.” Esperanza said with a nod, she still didn’t have a roommate. The brunette was unsure where the girl had actually gone but they hadn’t stuck anyone else in her room yet and the other girl’s name was still on her door. She didn’t question it, maybe the other just needed a break. The last time that Esperanza had seen her, she was knees deep in work. She never seemed to take a moment off. She did speak as she looked at Reyna and was still in sort of awe of her, of who’d she become other had become. The brunette hummed thinking about going back home, what that would mean and the exploration that she would have to give. She would have to do a lot of warming up and work before hand to make sure that it wouldn’t be an issue. Truthfully, she never thought she’d have to retuning to Washington Heights. As much as she loved it, she left it behind long ago and had come to terms with that heartbreak. “No, no, I can’t make more excuses.” She explained, shaking her head, sighing. “Plus,” Esperanza kept going, lowering her voice a little bit, “They’ll see us plotting an excuse.” At her own words, she offered a laugh to let Reyna know that it was mostly a joke. But it was true, there wouldn’t be able to hatch any sort of plan with cameras in their face 24/7.

"Good because beyond wanting you because of how beautiful you look tonight, I also just want to hold you and fall asleep," she said with a shrug. Reyna was very sweet once she was with someone, and no one knew that better than Esperanza. She had literally seen her grow from a little girl and saw the path she was heading towards. It was different to be with someone who had seen the majority of your life. Hearing that Esperanza wasn't going to look for a way out surprised the singer, but she was happy to hear it. The Heights just wasn't the same without the woman. Well, at least to her. Even though she'd never said anything, she had always hoped she'd run into the musician when she went back home. She laughed when she heard Es mention how they really couldn't hide much anymore, and she was right. They couldn't hide anything with all the cameras. "You're right. Man, all those years hiding, and now we took it too far," she joked lightly. "So, any New Years resolutions you want to share, Es?"

Esperanza blushed deeply, and fought the urge to kiss the other, just because she could hold off until the clock stuck midnight. She did chuckle for a second, noting to her that it was probably the only thing she could do by that time was sleep. “I know, goodness, we went from one extreme to another, aye?” She joked, shaking her head, maybe one day they would find some balance in how much they shared. At the question of resolutions, Esperanza took a drink from her glass, letting the liquid go down before she went on. “Oh, no. I don’t do New Years resolutions. There’s too much pressure, most have no plans, and aren’t realistic.” She explained with a shrug, taking another drink. “I find that the best way to really to change is little goals, throughout the year.” Esperanza didn’t look down on others who did, in fact she applauded them. Especially if they had the self discipline to make a change. “Have you got one?”

“We really did,” she said with a small laugh. It was actually odd how much the tables had turned. She wasn’t upset about it though. New Years resolutions were dumb to the singer as well. It was because of them that she used to hate going to the gym the entire month of January. Everyone wanted to lose weight and all that crap, so the place was absolutely packed. That didn’t mean that she didn’t have her own goals. “Oh yeah definitely,” she said with a smirk. “My goal is to give you more orgasms than anyone else has. You know, like a marathon. You up for it?”

“Reyna!” She exclaimed her entire face becoming red as she looked away from her. She couldn’t stand her, in the most loving way. Her most forward attitude was something that she had always found attractive, especially when compared to her own, more timid one. It took her a second before she looked back at her, still shaking her head in disbelief. “Calles mal, sabes?”

Reyna just looked at the other woman with the most innocent look she could muster and just shrugged her shoulders. She laughed when Esperanza finally found her voice to speak again. It was always adorable how flustered she could make the woman. “So is that a yes or a no for being up for it,” she asked with a tilt of her head. Reyna bit her lip as she looked at her girlfriend? She actually had no idea what to call the other woman. But, she wasn’t about to clear that up in the least romantic way ever. “You love how forward I am and how much I want you. Do you want me to tone that down and want you less?”

Esperanza looked at her from her lashed, lips pursed together, scrunched up. Her lips melted into a smile and she rolled her eyes playfully, of course she was up to it and Reyna would probably not let her be quiet about what she wanted. “What am I going to say? No?” Esperanza said with a chuckle, teasing the other. She learned her chin on her hand, and looked at Reyna loving, her head tilting her head. “Don’t you dare tone it down.” The brunette muttered, before pulling up closer to her, her mouth by Reyna’s ear and she whispered, “How much do you want me?”

The smile completely lit up Reyna’s world. It was good to be in position to make the woman smile again instead of being filled with sadness. She never thought they would be able to be in that position again. “You could, baby,” she said nonchalantly as she moved herself to mirror Es’ position. “Why should I give the brat what she wants?” When Esperanza moved closer and whispered into her ear, a small shiver moved down her spine. “Considering how wet I am for you right now, I’d say a significant amount,” she whispered right back.

She wasn’t going to say no, if she had, well, that would be the day they would have to talk things out again. Though the brunette had always said that she would deny Reyna if it ever came to that, she knew it wasn’t true. Everything felt so natural around Reyna, like coming into her own skin but they were older, wiser and could handle their hormonal. Well, more than before. Esperanza’s places her free hand on the other’s leg, gently making its way up the exposed skin before stopping and going back towards her knee. “Is that so?”

Reyna wasn’t someone to back away from a challenge, so when she felt Esperanza’s hand making its way up her leg, she spread them subtly to allow the woman more access. She’d silently dare the musician to finish what she was hinting at starting. “Why don’t you find out,” she asked with a shrug before leaning over and pressing a kiss to Es’ cheek. “I mean, I’m not wearing any underwear, so it shouldn’t be hard. It didn’t go with the skin tight dress.”

Esperanza bit gently on her lower lip, trying to make a choice. Knowing that either one had a consequence, the brunette wasn’t someone who would do things when there was a possibility of them getting caught. Peering eyes, around them but too caught up in their own worlds and nights. She felt her breath hitch in her throat coming up to a decision and her hand had a through of its own, Esperanza definitely got closer again and not touching her where Reyna might want. “Do you want me to?” Esperanza asked, but in her head she had ultimately come to her own decision on what to do.

Reyna's eyes closed and her breathing shallowed a little as Esperanza's hand trekked upwards. This moment had definitely been a fantasy of hers before with the woman besides her, but she didn't think it would ever happen. "Yes," she said assertively. While Esperanza was definitely the brat who skirted around answers, Reyna was the forward and direct one. "And I want you to kiss me."

A smirk played on her lips, keeping her bottom lip between her teeth. She breathed against her skin, and Esperanza took her other hand, caressing Reyna’s face. Her thumb stroking over her cheek and God, did she want to. She wanted to give Reyna want she wanted. It took her a minute before she took the one that was teasing her bringing it up to the other side of her face as she pressed a kiss upon her lip. Gently, Esperanza pulled away before she arched a brow and shook her head, “No.”

Reyna tilted her head and leaned into Esperanza's touch. However, when the second hand moved away from where she wanted it, the most she almost huffed. However that process was interrupted when Esperanza placed a soft, brief kiss on her lips which she happily reciprocated. Getting half of what she wanted wasn't bad. "No," she asked with a confused tone. "Why no exactly?"

She placed another kiss on her lips before eyeing the clock. “Because when have I ever been someone to do that in public, mm?” Esperanza questioned softly and she moved closer against Reyna’s ear, before she started placing a trail of slow kisses down her jaw. “Plus, it’s fun to watch your squirm for once.” The cellist admitted against her skin.

"Mmm I didn't know," she said with a shrug. "You used to do nothing in public, love. You told me a lot has changed, so I was testing it out." Her voice was teasing as she looked at the other woman through her eyelashes. Reyna tilted her head to the side to give Es more access to her jaw and neck. "You can totally make me squirm whenever you want," she said honestly. "You always could. This sexy, subtle confidence just had to come with time. I can handle this kissing in public thing though. What else is a green light outside of the bedroom?"

Reyna wasn't wrong, a lot of things had changed and maybe it would keep changing with a few more weeks or months. It would be fun for them to find those limits and how willing she would be to push boundaries. Right now, thought, she'd rather not get kicked out of the place they were in.  Feeling Reyna tilt her head, Esperanza moved to kiss down her neck just a bit before she looked back at the girl before her. "I like being able to make your squirm, it's a fun little thing to do. I'm not sure just yet what else is green-lighted. I think we can figure that out together, don't you think?"

When Esperanza stopped kissing down her neck, Reyna leaned forward and placed another sweet kiss on the cellist’s lips while cupping the other woman’s cheek. After a few seconds, she pulled away and smiled. “Feel free to do it whenever you want. I enjoy this feisty side of you. As for finding more green light activities, I’m down. Maybe we can find new stuff we’re into together,” she said seductively. If they were open, she’d happily start exploring her sexuality. The toys they could order and places they could explore were exciting. “Maybe I can order us some things.”

"Ah, I don't know if I can keep this up," Esperanza admitted with a chuckle, she could only keep up a facade for so long. The brunette raised her eyebrow questioningly but not entirely hating the idea of them introducing different things into their sex life. She was willing to try just about anything once before writing it off completely. "Yeah, we can do that. I mean, it couldn't hurt, right?" She kissed her again and all she could do was just look at Reyna loving. "Wow," Esperanza said, shaking her head for a moment, "I can't believe we went so long without being in each others lives."

Reyna couldn’t help but laugh when she heard Esperanza’s admission. Her being this forward and teasing was definitely not her default temperament. It was a fun way to switch things up, but never something that could be done for long periods of time. “That’s okay. We both know I prefer to be the one holding the reigns anyway. I’ll just probably be more subdued until I figure out how you are in public. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Reyna was trying to be as considerate as possible. She honestly wanted things to go much better than their last time, which honestly would be hard to top in some instances. “We’ll have a safe word to make sure it doesn’t. You’ve got to come up with it though. Something your shy self would use.” Plus, Reyna would usually be the one leading with things or the one doing them to Es. It was better if the woman picked a word she’d actually remember and use. “We were definitely stubborn and scared,” she said after smiling into another kiss. “I’m happy we’re here though. If I was going to have someone drive me crazy, I’d rather it be you.”

As the true, bratty sub she was, Esperanza liked when someone else took the lead more. She didn’t mind it for her own pleasure but she didn’t enjoy for an extended period of time. It worked that Reyna felt more comfortable on that end anyways. She was grateful that Reyna was giving her time to figure out what she was truly comfortable with in public, just to be extra sure as to not have a meltdown about it unexpectedly. As of right now, except for having sex in public, she didn’t really have a list of things that were on her ‘no-no’ list.  At some point, she figured that she’d be up to try it. “What if we went with like, traffic light colors? Red; full stop. Yellow; approaching my limit.” Esperanza suggested, they had already naturally been using that sort of language when the cellist mentioned that a lot of things that normally didn’t have a green-light before did now. “I’m not going to drive you crazy, bruta.” The girl muttered softly before kissing her once more, smiling into it. It was still so strange to her, this thing that she wouldn’t admit that she wanted for so long had become a reality. She wouldn’t dare mess things up.

“That could work, love,” she said with a nod of her head. It was basic and something she would definitely remember. To her it would be easier for her to remember that than something random like manatee. Somehow the two of them had spent a good two hours sipping their drinks, talking, and just enjoying each other’s company. When her phone that was on the table  lit up from a text message from one of her siblings, she saw that it was already eleven fifteen. “I’m pretty sure we will drive each other crazy from time to time, but that’s okay. The good relationships always come with a small side of  it,” she said with a shrug. That’s something she had learned from her own parents. The two of them had been in love since they were teens, and while they fought and went nuts, they still always loved each other. When Es pulled away from another kiss, Reyna nipped at her bottom lip. “Thanks for being a brat that day in the kitchen. If you hadn’t been, I don’t know how long this would have taken.”

Esperanza had heard of people using strange language as their safe words, and she sort of understood that. Words that normally wouldn’t be said in the bedroom would definitely throw the mood but she wasn’t sure that she’d be able to remember it fast enough, especially in the case if she wanted something to stop. Seeing the other’s phone light up, she was surprised, had they really already killed a couple of hours? She wasn’t complaining, timing flying that fast was good and with the new year approaching made things that much more exciting. Reyna wasn’t wrong, she had been lucky enough to see that with her own parents. As a teen she would hear her mother groan about her dad but in the same breath say that she loved him and it was the purest form of love she had ever seen. Reyna was the closest thing to that sort of love she had experienced herself.  “I’ll take one relationship with a sprinkles of crazy.” She said with a laugh that turned into her smiling, learning back with her hands balled up and placed on her hips like a superhero. “I mean, call me captain Brat.” Esperanza explained jokingly before dropping her pose back towards Reyna, “No, I don’t know how long it would’ve taken either. Too long though.”

“How do you manage to be one of the sexiest women alive, but also a major dork,” she asked because she was genuinely impressed and confused. Esperanza was someone who didn’t have to do anything to draw Reyna in, and she was probably the only person who could say such a thing. When she put her hands on her hips, the singer could only smile. “I’ll get you a hoodie with that printed on it,” she promised seriously. It would be cute. As soon as Es was closer, Rey ran her fingers through her hair and lightly scratched her scalp. “I really missed you. I don’t think I’ve said that enough, but even though I acted like I didn’t, and I acted as if I was fine with this not being a thing anymore, I wasn’t. I wanted it, but didn’t know how to go about getting it.”

“Sexiness I didn’t have a say in, it came with age” Esperanza explained, tilting her head, “As for the dork in me has been a sort of always been apart of me, babes.” The bookworm admitted with a smile, knowing at the other probably knew that. As a kid, she was studious, her head stuck in books as she read on her fire escape. Most of the time if Reyna or the kids who were like her sibling wouldn’t come and pull her out, Esperanza would lose the day there. “Don’t get me a hoodie, I have to keep my identity a secret.” She joked. Esperanza let out a soft breath, closing her eyes feeling the others finger through her hair. “I missed you too,” The cellist began as her eyes fluttered open, “I think it had a lot to do with pride, me not being home and trying to avoid spaces you’d be in.” Esperanza admitted, “but I’m glad that all of that can be left where it belongs.”

"You got finer with age, but you were always sexy, Es. At least to me." That was true. Sure, Esperanza was always the much more nerdy one of their circle in school, but Rey always found her to be attractive. "How about you have it to just wear in your room when you're practicing for hours on end? I'll have to make sure I pack you snacks or something. You always forget to eat." Reyna always worried about how much of a perfectionist the woman was. Nothing was ever good enough, and Es would spend hours upon hours stressing over a sheet of music. "You know, I always hoped you'd come home," she said with a light laugh. "Whenever I wound up at your folks' place, I'd always have it written on my face that I was disappointed you weren't there. Your mom caught it more than once. That woman sees everything." The last part she mumbled just because it had been honestly aggravating. "I'm excited to do things with you. It's new, but not. I get to go on dates with you and kiss you whenever I want without worrying about who's around. It's nice."

Esperanza had never seen herself as someone who was sexy. She had heard it before, sure but her nose always wrinkled and she would fight against the title. There had only been one person where that wasn’t the case and that was Reyna. “Alright, you’ve got yourself a deal. Just while I’m rehearsing, to remind my cello that I’m the only brat between us.” She joke, she definitely could get frustrated with herself and her instrument. Most would take a walk and then revisit the piece, but Esperanza got obsessive, and wouldn’t leave things alone until they were absolutely perfect. Days like that were long and took so much out of her. But it was in her nature. She couldn’t stop until it was perfect. Eating without a doubt became a second thought and a lesser priority. “Wait, how would you wind up at my parents place?” She asked Reyna, confused at what she had said. Esperanza had never heard about Reyna being in her house, sure in the neighborhood, that was expected but in her parents place? This was the first time she heard of it. Usually, her mother wouldn’t shut up about seeing Reyna, she didn’t miss the opportunity to bring it up. The woman had so much love for her. So if there was something her mom wanted her to know, she would have by now. “It’s a good change of pace, dontcha think?”

“I swear, my only competition in your life is your cello,” she joked lightly. And it was honestly perfectly fine with her. Getting in between Esperanza and her craft wasn’t something she ever wanted. The singer was often fine rehearsing lines or laying on the bed with headphones on while Es rehearsed. That’s how they used to do it at least. Now, she’ll do that but also poke around the house or city and wait for the cellist to text her or something. “Your mom never told you,” she asked with a furrowed brow. “I’d wind up there every New Years when I was home. Your parents and my parents are still really close, so they always throw a party together with their grapes and music. They’ve seen me once a year at least since we broke up.” She found it odd that Es’ mom hadn’t told her, but maybe she just didn’t want to cause her daughter pain. Her being at home while Esperanza wasn’t was hard for the woman, so she probably didn’t want to make the musician guilty either. “I do. It’s almost midnight. I hear the fireworks in London are absolutely amazing, but who could be surprised? We are in a country doing it right and being run by a woman.”

“Honestly yeah. The day that I chose you over perfecting something on that thing, that’s how you’ll know que estoy bien enculada contigo.” She half joked, she could already feel herself getting completely whipped by the other. As a teen, Esperanza really worshiped the ground Reyna walked on. She could do no wrong. The brunette would gush about her to anybody who would listen— as best friends of course. “I didn’t know they threw parties.” Esperanza muttered, pursing her lips together. She had called her parents every New Years, and maybe she had just been oblivious to their surroundings. How had she missed it? Why hadn’t her mom told her? “I knew that our parents were still close, I’d get calls on my birthday from your folks which was always sweet but I didn’t know they were ‘hosting New Years celebration’ close. Grapes and all.” It made her wonder if that would be happening that night, in their time. Had it already begun? Would they call her their time before the new year rang in? Esperanza shook her head at the though; as if it would make the thought go away. She wouldn’t think about it, her folks for the most part always did what was in her best interest. Maybe they were just protecting her. Whatever. Maybe some things were better left unsaid with her parents. “You’re not wrong, men touch things are they almost automatically fall apart.”

“Noted,” she said with a nod and smile. “Although, I’ll never ask to come before your music. I love hearing you play, and I knows important that is to you. I don’t have to be your whole world. I’ll be happy with just being a really valued part of it.” Reyna didn’t want to take over anyone’s life. Honestly, she was someone who enjoyed being domesticated while still allowing another person to still have their hobbies, space, and independence. Spending time with Es was something she absolutely loved, but she didn’t need to take up every second of her time to be content. “She probably didn’t tell you because she didn’t want to make you feel guilty about not going home or feel weird about me being there, babe. Plus, it took your mom awhile to come around to the whole I used to be romantically involved with you thing. Once they found out, she connected the dots pretty quickly.” Reyna did her best to never out Esperanza to her parents and so did her parents. They never mentioned Es’ romantic life or anything of the sort. It was a topic they all skirted around. If her mother asked why they didn’t talk anymore, Reyna would just shrug and say that they grew apart with college. Around them people were starting to get more and more excited as the clock ticked closer to midnight. Reyna smiled because the new year already looked pretty promising. “One of the reasons I swore of them honestly. Well that, and you kind of ruined me from a young age. What woman can have a best friend with curves like yours and that smile and not go gay,” she asked teasingly.

Part of the issue in Esperanza’s past ‘relationships’, if they could even be called that, was that she felt suffocated in them. Having people breathing down her neck wasn’t her strong suit, especially when they demanded her attention away from her music, her art, whatever she was using to scratch the itch. The brunette reassured her that she was a valued part in her life, taking the other’s hand in hers, locking their fingers together. “Yeah, maybe that was.” She said with a nod and at the mention of it taking her folks a lot to come around. Esperanza remembered the day she realized that she got a call from her mother and the absolute heartbreak in her voice. For a little bit, she wondered if Reyna had said something out of spite before she eventually reminded herself that Reyna wasn’t that type of person. No matter the amount of hurt. She wouldn’t do that to her, Esperanza in her heart of hearts knew that.  “I didn’t ruin you, you meanie.” The cellist exclaimed, taking a drink, then playing with the rim of her glass. “I dunno, you tell me. If I remember correctly, you were the one that made moves on me.” Esperanza teased softly before she got off of the high chair she was on, leading them over to one of the big windows that faced towards the water, where the fireworks would eventually go off over.

One of the things Reyna did love about Es was how she said things more through action. It took awhile to master figuring that out since it was often in the little things, but once someone did there was constant reassurance about where they stood in the cellist’s life. “I’m pretty sure they’ll be okay now, Es. I mean, if it has to be a woman, it might as well be me is something I’ve heard from your family before, so I think we’ve got a good shot,” she said with a laugh. “And to be fair, my dad has said the same thing about you.” It was odd how much her family wanted her with Esperanza. They said that the musician made her lighter which was true but shit, it had been a lot to handle when they were apart. “You totally did, but in the best way, so don’t feel bad about it,” she replied with a wink. Reyna followed Esperanza’s lead through the crowd to wait for the show to start. “I did, and I was so damn nervous. But seriously, I couldn’t handle you biting your lip and looking at me anymore. It drove me nuts,” she huffed as she leaned against the taller woman.

It was interesting to her that her parents had said to Reyna that if it was going to be anyone, that it might as well be her. Maybe it was because they didn’t talk about that part of her life, but they had never said it to her. The trip to see her parents on their home turf might have to happen sooner rather than later. It wasn’t a bad thing, but she had waited so long for her parents to even say anything, and they wouldn’t say this massive thing to her face. To their defense, that probably wasn’t a conversation to have over the phone. It was good to know that on both of their families thought the same way at least. She wouldn’t argue with her, mostly because Reyna had gotten under her skin too. Sure, at some point she would’ve figured it out but if it wasn’t for that night, Esperanza might’ve been confused and scared for a lot longer. The brunette looked at the other for a second and she realized how at peace she actually felt, the same kind of happiness that lingered anytime she was around Reyna when they were teenagers. “I’m glad you did, I don’t think I would’ve muster the courage to ever. Just continue with my longing looks and roll my eyes every time you mentioned that Jake kid.” Esperanza recalled with a laugh, but still cringing at the thought. He had to have been the most annoying boy on the planet and sixteen-year-old Esperanza couldn’t fathom what Reyna actually liked in him. “You drove me out of my mind, every sonata I had to write was about you.” The cellist admitted, every single one had been about the actress, before they were together, during, after, not that she would admit to after. Esperanza just couldn’t get her out of her head.

The mention of Jake took Reyna back. He was honestly a sweet guy who worshipped the ground she walked on. It was nice, but it seriously did nothing for her. “You know, Jake and I are still friends,” she asked with a chuckle. “Before you get all cranky, he’s engaged and stupidly happy. But yeah, I couldn’t take it anymore. Our little ways of flirting were like torture. You’re lucky I only kissed you that night honestly. I really wanted to pin you to my bed, but I lasted what? Another week before that happened,” she said with a chuckle. She was not the definition of self control. Hearing that Es had written music about her made a very genuine smile appear on her face. It was so sweet. “Really? Have I heard them?”

“I wouldn’t get cranky.” She said playfully defensive of herself. In high school, she was cranky, Esperanza would change the subject and not care for him. But that was because she was helplessly into Reyna and didn’t want to hear about how he had everything she wanted. “Maybe less, honestly.” Es always thought that she wanted to wait, the reason she had was because she wanted the whole fairytale scene that she’d grown up watching. In its own right, it was that but she hadn’t expected it to be with a woman, let alone with her best friend. Thankfully, she had no regrets about it. She felt so comfortable and safe, she couldn’t of imagined it any other way. “I think you’ve heard... one of them, at least.” Esperanza has written it before she had  the courage to tell Reyna that she was in love with her. Not that it was a big mystery but Esperanza fumbled over her words when she was overwhelmed and music was the only place she could get it right. That first one she held close to her heart, she’d does reworked it over and over and over as the years went and came. “I played it for you before I told you that I loved you for the first time.”

“I know, I’m teasing,” she said before turning towards Esperanza and kissing her on the cheek. “If you thought that you had to worry about me with someone else, then I’d have to pinch you or something. Although, it would be a great excuse to smack you on the ass.” Her tone was playful as she lowered her voice towards the end to make sure no one eves dropped. “Probably less,” she agreed with a shrug. That night had been incredible. She honestly had yet to top it. So many people talked about how awkward their first times were or with people that didn’t wind up meaning much, but hers was the complete opposite. The beauty of it was how both of them were so trusting and open. “Wait — that one? I loved that piece. I still remember it. I’ve wished I had it so many times.”

“Not after him, I didn’t.” Esperanza mentioned, smiling ever so slightly as she felt Reyna against her cheek. She teased her gently and told her to do it anyways, knowing that she could only win with whatever the other chose. “We were quite crazy after that.” She said with a chuckle, shaking her head, there was a time where they just couldn’t keep their hands each other. It was a miracle that more people weren’t suspicious of them earlier on. “Mmhm, that was the one I wrote and realized how intensely I felt for you but couldn’t think of the words to even begin to explain it to you.” She said with a shrug, looking over at her... Reyna. “I’ll play one of the revised versions for you.” Esperanza whispered softly into her ear, putting her hand on the others waist, as if she could bring her any closer to her body. Placing a kiss on her hair, she started there for a second before putting another one.

Reyna smirked at the other woman and just shook her head. Honestly, she didn’t need to have an excuse to smack the woman’s ass, but she’d happily take one if it was given. “Baby, who are you kidding,” she asked with a smile. “We will probably be just like that again. I’ve just been giving you time to adjust before having marathons in bed again.” That much was true. She knew the cellist needed time to process and thought that would be easier without the fog of sex. “How do you do the most romantic things and not tell me about them?” Her voice was honestly laced with awe because it wasn’t every day that someone wrote a musical piece for someone. She was going to say more but heard the countdown beginning around them. Not really caring much for the fireworks herself, Reyna turned herself in Es’ arms to face the other woman. When the countdown got to five, she got on her tippy toes. The words, “will you be with me,” were whispered in Esperanza’s ear just as the countdown ticked down to the new year.

“Thank goodness.” Esperanza joked, shaking her head, she didn’t have the stamina she had as a kid anymore. Well, that wasn’t entirely true, but still. However, the brunette was glad she was being given that time— if they had jumped straight into bed together, there was no telling how long it would’ve actually taken her to get her head in straight around Reyna. Esperanza’s eyebrow quipped up, smiling, not answering her question. She preferred to just do things and let them be known when they needed to be. Esperanza just wasn’t good at putting her words together to accurately convey her thoughts and feelings, thus the music, the art work, through the ones of Reyna were hidden away somewhere else. Probably never to see the light of day until they were much old and cleaning out some storage unit, the forgotten pieces of art lying in some portfolio. Feeling her shift in her arms, Es could only look at her, brushing her hair a little away to better see her features. Reyna truly was one of the most beautiful women she’d ever seen, no one had ever compared and no one ever would. “Pensaba que nunca ibas a preguntar.” She joked right before the countdown got to one and as it did, Es kissed her softly— ringing in the new year as the fireworks went off.

Reyna chuckled lightly at the woman. Esperanza definitely gave off the innocent vibe to most people, but that's definitely not all there was to the cellist. The woman was definitely very sexual when she wanted to be. She simply had to be comfortable enough to let that show. Reyna wondered how many other romantic things she didn't know about, but she knew she would only discover them when Esperanza wanted her to. That was fine though. It kept life full of little surprises. Reyna smiled into the kiss and let her arms dangle loosely behind Esperanza's neck. She let it linger for a few moments before pulling away. Again, she was the one with little control. "If you keep kissing me like that, then we won't see any of these fireworks because I'll just want to get you in bed."

Esperanza didn’t really have a ‘feisty’ side so to speak, she was true to herself and what you saw was what you got. Except when it came to sex, a hidden side of her that only a handful of people had gotten a change to experience, but none as intensely as Reyna. She got greedy with Reyna. Esperanza bit her bottom lip gently, giving her a smile,  before kissing her again. “I think I  just want you to see a different type of fireworks.” She teased, her hand following the curve of Reyna’s waist, resting comfortably on her hip. Truthfully, she’d leave now if Reyna wanted her, all she wanted to do was take her dress off anyways and she wouldn’t do it with an audience.

It was so different to see how affectionate Esperanza was in public now that she was older. The difference was  night and day, and she knew it would take her a minute to learn to expect it. Right then it still caught her by surprise each time even though she was very good at hiding it. "I already got what I wanted here. I wanted to make sure I asked you in a way that was romantic, so if you don't care about leaving then trust me, neither do I," she said honestly with a shrug. Feeling Es' hands on her was insanely addictive, and she'd much rather feel them with less clothing on. "I'd much rather see your firework display."

Esperanza’s nose scrunched up when Reyna mentioned that she wanted it to be romantic and she shook her head. “Que romántica.” She teased, she hummed before giving her a nod. "Yeah, let's get out of here." Esperanza placed one last kiss on the other's cheek before maneuvering them through the crowds that had gone back to dancing, the fireworks making a beautiful backdrop. With their finger laced, she managed to get them out into the street and Lord, did it take everything for her not to kiss her against the building.

“With you, always,” she said with a shrug. Being romantic with the cellist was simple to her. It also helped that Es was very low maintenance and never required much. The smallest of thoughts meant the world to her. It was touching and really cute. Reyna followed her out of the building and onto the street easily enough, and as soon as her feet hit the sidewalk she hailed down a cabbie. “You can’t tempt me with that and have us wasting time out here,” she said matter of factly and opened the door for the woman. “After you.”

She pursed her lips together and knew that Reyna was right, she couldn't tease her and then expect her to hold out the walk back to the mansion. It hadn't been that bad of a walk but with the growing want, a cab didn't seem like a bad idea. Esperanza thanked her and as she climbed in, wishing their driver a happy new year, she waited until Reyna was in the back with her so that she could place her hand on the other's knee. "Do you reckon the house is a mess?" The brunette asked, her head resting on Reyna's shoulder, her eyes looking up at her.

Reyna settled into the car easily and smiled when Esperanza leaned against her. She turned her head to press a kiss against the cellist's hair. "Most likely," she said with a chuckle. "I'm also sure there is going to be a lot of sex going on. I mean, if there isn't, then these girls aren't bringing the New Year in right." Honestly, they were in a house filled with other single, hot women. It didn't get any easier than that. "As long as no one is in your room or my room, then I don't care."

“Oh yeah, I didn’t even think about that.” Truthfully, she had forgotten that the other women in the house would be jumping into bed with each other. She didn’t blame them though, over twenty, gorgeous, single women? It was a recipe for disaster or just a good reality show. Esperanza had been so focused on herself, that she didn’t care to give anyone the time of day and now with Reyna, even less. “I doubt anyone will be in mine.” She assured, “Who’s your roommate?”

“Not surprising,” she said with a laugh. “You kind of don’t notice much or think outside of your own bubble. I think it’s cute though.” It didn’t take long for them to get back to the mansion. Reyna happily paid the cab driver before opening the door and getting out first. “How about we make them all jealous and have the loudest room in the house,” she asked with a smirk and wink.

Esperanza playfully placed a bite on Reyna’s shoulder when she mentioned that the cellist was in her own bubble. “I do not.” She whispered against her skin, Esperanza just didn’t keep things that weren’t of value for her. It took too much head space. She thanked both the driver and Reyna as they stepped out onto the front of the house. Still with their hands together, she gave her a little squeeze, “They’d never believe it was coming out of my bedroom.” She admitted with a chuckle, Esperanza wasn’t embarrassed that that was her reputation in the mansion— in fact she liked it like that. She enjoyed that there was still things that people didn’t know about her.

Reyna closed her eyes and gently gripped Esperanza’s thigh that was beneath her hand at the bite. The cellist was just mean. She knew how much of a turn on biting was for the actress. “Do too, brat,” she said as she led them into the mansion and just bypassed anyone who would be around to get to Esperanza’s room. “I have to shatter this innocent bubble you have them all buying into,” she said with a smirk before pining Es against her own door and kissing her.

Following Reyna, she gave little waves to the women that they passed, but she couldn’t get the words out to wish them a Happy New Year before she was whisked away. Not that she minded at all. “You just want them to know that I’m off limits.” Esperanza muttered against her lips, kissing her as she reached behind her to try to open the door of her bedroom. For now, there were just a couple of things she wanted to continue doing behind closed doors. Plus, there was quite a few kids that were running around the house.

“That too,” she replied happily once they got into the room. “I don’t share well. Never have, and I honestly most likely never will when it comes to you especially.” Reyna wasn’t as much of a brat as the other woman, but she could be when she wanted. She didn’t tolerate people flirting with someone who she loved. That was never going to fly, and she’d let that be known fairly quickly. “Now, as much as I love talking to you babe, let’s get you out of this dress.”

Esperanza wasn’t one to play into other people’s flirting, quite often she ignored it— knowing that all they really wanted was a quick hookup and then on to the next. Esperanza couldn’t be bothered by it. The slightly possessiveness tone in Reyna’s voice almost caused the cellist to become completely undone, God, did she love it. Nodding and not replying to Reyna, she just reached back to undo the lower zipper that was on her back to loosen the fabric a little bit. Since it was an already flowy dress, Esperanza was able to slip out of it, to reveal that Reyna wasn’t the only one that had overlooked undergarments.

When the dress fell, Reyna’s mouth nearly dropped. Nearly. Esperanza was the biggest sneak. She wouldn’t inform people of things, but instead show them if it ever was appropriate. For instance, not mentioning all night that she wasn’t wearing anything beneath her dress. Trying to show some self restraint, she turned around and moved her hair to the side to show Es her zipper. “You’re beautiful as always, but we’re not in a rush. We’re off tomorrow, so I plan to make good use of the whole night. So undo me please?”

#thread: new year

[omgericzimmermann]

Queer Eye for the Recently Out NHL Player

hi, I’m back.

You can also read this on AO3

Jack regretted agreeing to this the moment his doorbell rang. He shoved Puck behind his knees and opened the door to a crowd of five men – four of whom would be good on defence – and a handful of cameras.

“Hi Jack!” the small, adorable blond said, grabbing his hand and forcing him to shake it. Jack shook it and tried to shoo Puck back into the apartment, since she was trying to get out into the hall to sniff all the guys and the camera men. “And who’s this?”

“Um, this is Puck,” Jack said, letting go of the unfairly cute one’s hand and stooping to wrap his arms around Puck’s legs. He hoisted her off the ground and stepped back to let them all into the apartment. Puck wagged her tail happily. “She’s a rescue.”

“She’s got just the prettiest eyes,” the cute one said, continuing to stroke Puck’s head and getting a tongue to the face for his efforts. To Jack’s relief, he laughed.

“This is – this is how you live?” the redhead asked, scanning the apartment. When Jack answered in the affirmative, he turned and immediately started petting Puck as well rather than look at Jack’s apartment. It wasn’t that he was a slob – Jack knew he wasn’t a slob – but…

Well, it had been five years and he hadn’t unpacked.

“Okay, Bitty, Dex, can I borrow Jack for a tour of his closet?”

Justin. His name was Justin. Jack had learned their names – had been conclusively lectured on their names and their personalities and their skillsets by Tater – but they’d vanished from his head the second the Fab Five walked in the door.

Bitty – who was, unfairly, cuter in person than on TV – stepped back from Puck and ducked into the kitchen with one of the cameras following him. Dex turned to look at the living room like it was causing him personal distress. Jack followed Justin down the hall.

“I don’t think we need Puck for this part of the tour,” Justin said, gently.

Jack looked down and realised he was still carrying his dog. Suddenly very aware there were cameras on him, he set her down and followed Justin into the bedroom. He heard the tell-tale tacking of Puck’s claws on the wood floor while she sought out her favourite toy to show to the new people in the house.

“Okay, so we know from all your interviews and post-game videos that you know how to dress yourself for formal events,” Justin said, gesturing at the suits that lined half of Jack’s closet. “So we know there’s the potential for greatness somewhere in there. What we’ve got to deal with is the every day.”

His eyes flicked over Jack’s outfit and Jack felt like shrinking.

“Is this what you wear when you’re going out?” Justin asked, gesturing at all of Jack.

He correctly interpreted Jack’s silence as confirmation.

“So, babe, you look like you’re dressed to rob a Burger King,” Justin told him gently, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “And now, I know it’s hard, I really do, my husband spent half his childhood in Iowa. It can be a hard habit to break, but if I can break him, you can believe I’m going to break you.”

Jack stared at him, and then nodded slowly.

“Tell us Jack, what do you do for fun?” Adam asked, flipping through the stack of coffee table books Dex had unearthed somewhere in one of Jack’s boxes. “Because we watched a lot of your interviews in preparation for this episode, and you don’t give the fans a lot to work with.”

“I keep pretty private,” Jack said.

“Sure,” Adam said. “But the thing is, according to your teammates who put you up for this, you keep pretty private from them too, and you’re supposed to be friends. How do you spend a Saturday night?”

“Usually at a game,” Jack said.

“If you don’t have a game,” Adam prompted. “Okay, maybe not at night. What do you do with a day off?”

“Go to the park with Puck,” Jack said. At her name, she came trotting up and leaned against his leg, presenting her head for scratches. Jack obliged.

“And you run, and throw the frisbee,” Adam supplied. “Anything else?”

“Look at birds,” Jack heard himself say. “I did some photography in college.”

Adam smiled and adjusted his glasses. “See? Now we’re getting somewhere.”

To Jack’s dismay, he walked into the kitchen in time to see Bitty open the pantry, stare at the mostly barren shelves in complete silence for the count of five, and then close the doors. He shook his head like a doctor declaring a patient dead, and then turned around. When he saw Jack standing there, he jumped and pressed a hand to his chest over his pineapple printed shirt.

“Lord, you gave me a fright there, Mr Zimmermann. I didn’t hear you come in,” Bitty said.

“Is my pantry that bad?” Jack asked.

“Honey, the only thing you’ve got in there is protein powder,” Bitty said, not unkindly, but like he was going to cry. Jack, stricken, tried to apologise. “No, sweet pea, you don’t need to apologise. It’s not your fault you’ve been an athlete all your life. We’re just gonna have to go grocery shopping. Get all the basics in place, and then I can teach you some nice, easy recipes to mix in with your chicken and broccoli. How’s that sound?”

Jack thought it sounded boring, but fine. He left out the boring comment.

“How do you spend your time at home?” Dex asked, although he wasn’t looking at Jack. He had a measuring tape out and was taking down the dimensions of the sunken living space. With his plain – although Jack felt sure they were designer – jeans, white t-shirt, and the pencil behind his ear, Dex seemed like he was the most straight-laced in every sense of the word. The only outward indication that he belonged in the crew of a show called Queer Eye was the fact that instead of a belt, his jeans were held up with rainbow suspenders, and he’d cuffed the sleeves of his shirt.

“Reading or watching Netflix,” Jack said, and wondered if that made him incredibly boring.

“Sounds like me,” Dex said. He stood and slid his tape measure into his pocket. “Quick question though. Did you buy all six pieces of furniture you own at Ikea?”

Jack was evicted from his apartment by Justin and Derek at the crack of dawn on day two.

“Tell me about the look, Jack,” Derek requested. “Because it almost looks like you just haven’t cut it from playoffs yet, but you’ve clearly shaved so…”

Jack awkwardly ran a hand through his hair. It was fluffy, and had always been fluffy. The only time it did anything useful was when it was wet.

“Oh, um,” Jack said. “I just never really know what to do with it.”

“Right,” Derek said. “And this week, we’ve all agreed, is about helping you feel comfortable enough and settled enough to make a connection with the place you live, and the people you spend time with. But you also need to work on making a connection with yourself, right? It’s okay to look in the mirror and think you look good.”

Jack squirmed. “Mostly I look in the mirror and think I look like my dad.”

“Nah, you’re way hotter than your dad ever was,” Justin said from the driver’s seat.

Jack snorted.

“Was that a laugh?” Justin asked, delighted.

“Bro, I think it totally was,” Derek said. “Okay. Let’s fix your hair, man.”

After he finished getting his haircut, and listening to Derek’s lectures on his personal grooming routines and the importance of moisturiser, and after he’d finished clothes shopping with Justin – which was a harrowing experience – he was passed off to Adam.

“So Jack,” Adam said, taking him on a walk through the park near his house. Adam had collected Puck - or the film crew had, Jack didn’t know and didn’t ask - and Jack’s camera and although Jack didn’t normally take pictures when other people were around, he experimented with the idea of feeling comfortable enough to loop Puck’s leash around his wrist and snap a few photos of the sunlight filtering through the leaves, and of a small child attempting to clean melted ice cream off her wrist.

“You’re not big on being in front of a camera,” Adam said.

“I’ve been in front of a camera my whole life,” Jack replied.

“Right,” Adam agreed. “I know. I’ve been a huge hockey fan since I was a kid. I even played in juniors, believe it or not.”

“Really?” Jack asked. “When and where?”

“I was in the USHL, Waterloo, Iowa. We would’ve never met,” Adam said. “But I knew who you were. Everyone did. Is that why you did it?”

Jack shrugged. He’d never answered directly the question of why.

“I guess,” Jack said. “It was...I guess I figured there was a chance it might carry more weight if it was me who went first.”

Adam nodded like this made sense and Jack raised his camera to take another picture. By the end of the trail, Bitty was lounging in the sun, letting the rays soak into his golden skin and his near glowing hair, his chin tipped back to get even more sun directly on his face, although his eyes were hidden behind sunglasses Jack felt sure were designer. Jack snapped the picture.

“And that’s why you decided to be on our show?” Adam asked.

“I figured as the first openly LGBTQ+ male hockey player, I owed it to my community to represent,” Jack said, deadpan. There was a beat, and then Adam burst out laughing. “Also because Tater and Thirdy more or less made me.”

Adam clapped him on the shoulder. “It seems to me - if I may - that you’ve been on a bit of a quest to be authentically yourself for a few years, probably since you started planning your coming out. And that’s what we want to do with you this week. We want to help you get to the point where you can really be yourself with your teammates. We’ve figured that maybe you could have some of them over for dinner on Saturday as your final event. Does that sound reasonable?”

Jack had been over to Tater’s apartment a lot, and to Thirdy and Marty’s houses, and most of them had been over to his apartment once or twice, but usually just to stop by and pick him up for something else. Having them in his apartment for a whole dinner seemed like a lot, and also like it was probably a good goal. To be himself, genuinely, with the teammates he was closest to, in a space that he intended to settle into.

“Yeah,” he said. “That sounds good.”

Adam nodded and clapped him on the shoulder again, before depositing him in front of Bitty.

“So, mister, are you ready to go grocery shopping?” Bitty asked, springing to his feet with a sunny grin aimed in Jack’s direction.

to be continued

#the ghost ship scribbles #queer eye au #i'm back from the dead very briefly #zimbits #of course #it had to be done