Always
Laudna didn’t know Imogen was in town.
What a strange thing, to have been seeking someone so desperately and to be unaware that she was in the same town, that she was in the same building. Laudna didn’t know, and she didn’t know until she dug through her bag looking for something suddenly unimportant when she saw the tell-tale glow of the tracking orb.
The tracking orb she’d gotten re-attuned just days after the group had been split. They didn’t need to find Otohan anymore; they needed to find their friends. Laudna needed to find Imogen. And here she was, somewhere close. Upstairs, according to the orb she clutched so tightly in her hands that her knuckles turned white.
Upstairs. Imogen and the rest of their friends must have gotten a room in this inn earlier before Laudna and the others had arrived.
Laudna hurried up the stairs and followed the orb to a room at the end of the hall with a dull light visible under the door—probably a single candle. She nearly walked in with no warning but realized at the last moment that doing so would alarm Imogen and anyone else inside, so she stowed the orb away and knocked instead.
It took a moment for Imogen to register who she was looking at when she opened the door. She looked exhausted, her hair a frazzled mess and dark circles under her eyes. Worry filled Laudna’s chest—was something wrong? Had Imogen not been getting enough sleep? Were her nightmares worse now? Imogen stared at her for a moment, mouth gaping.
“Laudna?” She said. Then, mentally, her thoughts timid and nervous, Laudna? Is that really you?
It’s me, darling, Laudna replied, and tears sprung to Imogen’s eyes as she pulled Laudna into a tight hug.
“Thank Gods you’re okay,” Imogen said into Laudna’s shoulder. She could feel her shirt wet with Imogen’s tears and instinctively ran a comforting hand over the back of her head. “I tried so hard to get in touch. I was so afraid that you—that you were gone.”
Laudna hugged Imogen tighter and pressed a long kiss to the top of her head, inky tears trailing down her own face now. “Oh, Imogen, I was so worried for you, too. I knew you must have been all right—you’re so capable—but when we didn’t hear from you…”
“Somethin’ wrong with the magic,” Imogen murmured. Her hands gripped the back of Laudna’s shirt, and she made no move to let go, but Laudna gently eased out of the embrace.
“Your scars…”
They’d grown so much in the past couple of months. Laudna took Imogen’s hands in her own and softly rubbed her thumbs over the red marks there, then cupped Imogen’s face where the still-purple traces of electricity spread over her cheeks and framed her eyes. A glance at Imogen’s thigh told her they were spreading downward, too.
“Oh.” Imogen looked away. “It’s—it’s fine. They still don’t hurt or nothin’.”
“What happened?” Laudna glanced over her shoulder at the empty room. “Where are the others?”
“Oh, they’re just out lookin’ around,” Imogen said. “Ashton and Orym?”
“Same thing. Maybe they’ll run into each other, too.”
“Come on,” Imogen said, “let’s sit down. We got so much catchin’ up to do.”
“That we do,” Laudna said. She kept her hold on Imogen’s hand as they closed the door and sat together on the bed. She felt giddy now as reality began sinking in: Imogen was back at her side; she was all right; the search was over. She could finally stop feeling so hollow missing her precious friend.
“I missed you so much,” they said at the same time, and they broke into a fit of laughter.
“It feels like it’s been so long,” Imogen said. “We were just tryin’ to figure things out after the solstice. Made some new friends, saw Chet’s home. But mostly we were just trying to find you again.”
“Us, too,” Laudna said. “We didn’t know what to do—whether we should stay and wait or go looking. We thought about having one of us go back to Jrusar and stay there in case you all came back, but we were afraid to separate ourselves any further.”
“I’m so sorry we couldn’t reach you,” Imogen said, squeezing Laudna’s hand tight. “I tried. Every day. That’s…where this came from.” She gestured vaguely at her face with her free hand.
“Oh, darling.” Laudna tucked a stray lock of hair behind Imogen’s ear. “It’s not your fault. We’re here together now, aren’t we? We were always going to find each other again.”
Imogen sniffed and nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “Yeah. Always.” She rested her hand on the side of Laudna’s neck and rubbed her thumb over the delicate skin there. I can’t believe this is real.
Laudna’s heart picked up speed a little. She’d had a lot of time to think without Imogen around about what they had and what their future could hold if they ever got one. She’d gotten to thinking about that cottage in Heartmoore, going to sleep and waking up next to Imogen without the threat of impending apocalypse, the gardens they’d grow and the horses they’d raise. There really was nothing purer than the way Imogen looked at horses, and there was nothing more Laudna wanted than to watch her play with a new foal from their kitchen window while she baked Imogen’s favorite dessert.
And thinking about those things had gotten her thinking about what people who live together usually do. Things she hadn’t considered for herself until recently.
Laudna laid her hand over Imogen’s, holding it in place against her neck. I know, she said. I was so afraid I would never see you again.
Imogen took a deep breath. “I should—I should probably tell you something,” she said, and she pulled her hand away. Laudna immediately missed the warmth of her palm, but she was more concerned about Imogen.
“What is it? Is something wrong?”
“No,” Imogen said. “I just…let somethin’ slip to the others a while back, and they kinda implied they were gonna meddle. And I—I don’t wanna—” She broke off to gather her thoughts. She was getting nervous the way she did in a crowded room or after a nightmare, and Laudna comfortingly squeezed her hand. “I just think you should hear it from me,” she finished eventually.
“It’s all right, darling,” Laudna said. “You know you can tell me anything. I’m here for you, whatever it is.”
Imogen nodded and swallowed hard. “Laudna, I’m in love with you.”
Laudna blinked. “I—I’m sorry, what?” Surely she must have misheard? Maybe the joy of seeing Imogen after being separated for so long was making her hear things.
“I’m sorry,” Imogen said. “I know I’m not really what you’re lookin’ for, and—and this is so trivial and unimportant, anyway; I just didn’t want the others to get to you first and make things weird—weirder.” She shook her head. “Maybe I shouldn’t’ve said anything.”
“No, no—” Laudna clapped her other hand over the one she was already holding, her heart beating so hard and so fast that its tempo must have matched that of a living person. A giddy smile spread across her face. “You’re—you’re in love with me? Like, you want romance, and kissing, and…? With me?”
Imogen’s cheeks flushed bright red. “Well, I—yeah. But, I mean, it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. I’m no Nightmare King or anything.”
Laudna couldn’t help but giggle a little at the badly masked bitterness in Imogen’s voice. “Darling,” she said, “I’m not in love with Ira. Don’t get me wrong, he’s super hot.” Imogen laughed a little, and Laudna smiled fondly at the sound. Oh, how she’d missed Imogen’s laughter. “But he’s not you. I could never love anyone the way I love you.”
“And…how’s that?”
Imogen looked at her with a desperate mix of hope and fear, as if she could tell what Laudna meant but couldn’t allow herself to believe it. Laudna stroked the backs of her fingers over Imogen’s cheek and trailed them through her hair in a motion she knew would soothe Imogen’s nerves.
“I’m in love with you,” Laudna said, mirroring Imogen’s own confession. It felt so freeing to say it aloud, to know those feelings were reciprocated. And whatever reassurance Imogen needed, she’d be happy to give. “I love you in a way that I can’t even find words for, Imogen; we’ve had this talk before. I just didn’t realize what it meant.”
Imogen let out a breathy laugh. “You’re serious?”
“Deadly,” Laudna joked. Her breath caught as Imogen hooked her hands around her neck.
Are you sure? Is this really okay?
I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life, Laudna said. Please just kiss me.
No sooner had Laudna gotten the last word out than Imogen’s lips were on hers, hands desperately gripping handfuls of Laudna’s hair. Laudna eagerly kissed back, reveling in how right this felt. Imogen’s lips weren’t soft; they were cracked and strong and warm, and Laudna found herself pushing further into them until the two of them clumsily fell back onto the bed.
Imogen’s chest heaved with laughter as Laudna propped herself up on her elbows from where she’d collapsed into Imogen. “Sorry,” Laudna laughed. “I guess I got a little overzealous.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Imogen said. Her eyes shone as she reached up to move the curtain of Laudna’s hair and caress her face. You’re perfect, she said. You’re so perfect.
Not at all, darling, Laudna said. She leaned down to kiss Imogen again.
Yes, Imogen said. You are. You’re perfect—and beautiful—and—
Her thoughts became scrambled and her breath hitched as Laudna shifted overtop of her, brushing the inside of her thigh with her knee to keep her balance on the bed.
Imogen? Laudna pulled back. It wasn’t until she could see Imogen’s face that she realized how flushed she was, and that there was a reason her thoughts had fallen apart so suddenly. Oh. Oh.
Finish on AO3
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