#like oh my god i was so fucking out of it the entire thing feels like a fever dream wdym it was only friday đ
slumber party
in which there's only one bed. fem bau!reader x spencer reid
fluff!
warnings/tags: dark humor, (the word molest is used jokingly once but in my defense your honor its completely on brand for early seasons cm humor, if u cancel me u have to cancel the whole cast those are the rules, its just a joke cause reader always flirts w him aggressively, pls don't come for me i have a wife and children and three boyfriends to take care of,) mutual pining, bullying and death threats as flirting, they love each other so much and bicker like children, glasses spencer, (moans), emily and rossi are mentioned bc canon means fuck all to me, i think thats it but this is my most out of pocket duo so if i'm wrong lmk
a/n: just a silly little thing that i cooked up, not a masterpiece but i think its cute!! I hope u enjoy!! lmk what you think!! looooveee youuuu
âOh, there is no way.â
Your duffel bag hits the dingy carpet as Spencer is still closing the door behind you.Â
âWhat? Is itââ
You give him a look over your shoulder, eyebrows raised as if to say, what are you going to do about this?
But he only manages to meet your eyes for a split second before theyâre back to the singular queen bed, darting over the white sheets and pillows like he might find another mattress if he looks hard enough.Â
Sharing a room with Spencer, you can handle. You've done it before. Whenever the team has to pair up at a hotel, you two are an obvious choice. And while you occasionally butt heads, mostly you adore each other and it's great.
But sharing a bed is a whole other situation.
One you were not prepared for. And evidently, neither is he.
Watching his big anxious eyes flit around the room nervously, you feel sort of bad for your reaction. You know you can be a bitâŚÂ abrasive, sometimes.Â
âItâs fine, Iâll justâIâll see if I can share a bed with Emily or JJ in their roomââ
Just then thereâs a knock at the door. Spencer looks relieved to have something else to focus on, turning back around and quickly undoing the latch again before opening the door to reveal your favorite raven-haired SSA. Emily leans past the doorjamb, eyes immediately honing in on the awkward sleeping arrangement.Â
âOh my god! You guys too?â
âWhat?â You and Spencer ask at the same time. Emily raises her eyebrows at this and glances between you, but otherwise doesnât comment.Â
âMe and JJ only have the one bed. I thought it might just have been us.â
You frown. There goes your plan of sharing a room with them.Â
âWhat about Morgan and Garcia?â
Spencer snorts.
âSomething tells me Penelope wouldnât be too torn up about it if that's the case.â
âHotch and Rossi?â
The room goes quiet and a little chilly as the thought disturbs everyone equally. Emily frowns deeply.
âI donât even⌠I canât picture that.â
âCan we please not try to picture it?â
âGreat. Okay, well. I just wanted to make sure everyone is suffering equally. Good luck, champs.â
âThanks,â Spencer mutters dryly. Emily smiles, eyes darting between the two of you for just a moment too long, before pushing off the door frame and disappearing from sight. Once the door is closed again, a heavy silence ensues. âIâll⌠I can take the floorââ
âItâs fine, Spencer. Iâm not going to make you sleep on the floor. Weâre both grown-ups. Besides, we like each other, right? Itâll be like a slumber party.â
âIâve never had one,â he admits. His glasses slip further down his nose as he frowns. Your fingers itch to push them back up.Â
âThen Iâm happy to be your first,â you tease, facing him fully with your hand on your hip and barely resisting the urge to add, Iâll be gentle. âDo you want the shower first or can I?â
Spencer has a habit of looking you up and down like he doesnât realize heâs doing it. Some might find it odd, but his utter lack of social graces is, lucky for him, incredibly endearing to you.Â
âYou can have it first,â he says, meeting your eyes again. âJust donât do that thing where you get the entire bathroom soaking wet.â
âAw. But I love doing that. Itâs my favorite part,â you tease, scooping up your bag once more.
Twenty minutes later youâre emerging from the bathroom with damp hair, clad in loose shorts and a college hoodie.Â
âNice outfit,â Spencer says from the spinny-chair at the desk, examining your outfit choice with a scrutiny you wish youâd been prepared for. Really, you wish youâd known ahead of time youâd have a roommate and brought some alternate sleeping clothes. âI had no idea you felt so passionately about⌠Scooby Doo?â
âShut up right now,â you grit, tossing your bag into the corner of the room and tugging your hoodie down over your cartoon-patterned shorts as far as you can.Â
âWhat?â Heâs laughing as he brushes past you on his way into the bathroom, bearing his own bag. âItâs a good look for you.â
Your face is burning as you choose the side of the bed furthest from the door. Springs creak underneath your weight as you sink down, sitting with your legs hanging off the side for a moment before swinging them up onto the mattress, leaning against the headboard and side-eyeing the empty space next to you. Thereâs really not very much of it. The bed feels even smaller than it looks.Â
From the bathroom you hear the sound of the shower squeaking and starting up againâa cacophony of droplets against tile on the other side of the wall. You try not to be nervous as you imagine Spencer filling the space beside you in just a few minutes, hair wet and in pajamas. And yet you spend each second wondering if heâs almost done, wondering if the shower will finally sputter to a halt, and once it does, wondering how long itâll be before heâs out again. Itâs ridiculous how impatient you're gettingâand by the time you finally watch the door knob twist you feel crazy.Â
âI think that was your longest shower yet, Dr. Reid.â
The teasing affords you a moment to ogle him head to toe, taking in his choice of pajamasâtonight, familiar plaid pants and an MIT crewneckâas well as his hair which has already begun to dry. Briefly you wonder if he does that thing guys do, where they lean down and haphazardly dry their hair with a towel because they have no concern for its texture whatsoever. But you kind of doubt it, because his hair always looks so soft.Â
âYou were sitting here waiting for me?â He chuckles, and honestly youâd been expecting a shyer response. But you adapt quickly.Â
âMaybe I was. Big spoon or little spoon?â
âHa-ha.â He opens a drawer in the dresser and begins unpacking his clothes into it. It's a funny habit of his. You never unpack your duffel. âYou took the better side of the bed.â
âUh, yeah. Iâm the woman. I get to do that.â
âWell you should know that if an intruder breaks in, Iâm not fighting him off. Youâd probably have a better chance than me.â
âAnd my chances will be even better if heâs distracted with you first.â
âSo Iâm just bait?â He scoffs, looking back at you. Strands of wet hair hang so prettily around his face, like the perfect frame around a work of art. You smile sweetly from your spot on the bed before playfully biting at the air in his direction. The message goes unspoken but reads loud and clear. Of course you are. You make such good bait.Â
That gets a blush out of him and he has nothing else to say as he turns back to his drawer. Happily you lean back against the headboard, stretching your legs out and bouncing slightly in place. Beneath you the mattress springs groan and squeak in protest.Â
âI hope you're not going to be this irritating all night.â
It's clearly lighthearted, but you promptly stop and frown at his back.Â
âCall me irritating again and see where you end up sleeping tonight.â
âI just donât see how youâre even more hyperactive than usual right now. Has anybody ever told you that youâre crepuscular?â Spencer asks, finally sliding the drawer shut and going to shut the overhead light off. Your eyes narrow.Â
âObviously nobody has told me that.â
âIt means yââ
âIâm most energetic within the few hours around dusk and dawn. Contrary to your belief, Dr. Reid, other people are also capable of looking up words in a dictionary and remembering what they mean. Are you going to stand in the corner all night or are you gonna come to bed?â
âI am,â he scoffs, clearly embarrassed and shy and embarrassed of being shy. âIâm just⌠you look like you kick in your sleep. And hog the blankets.â
You shrug, folding your knees to your chest and hugging them quaintly.Â
âIâve never had any complaints. In fact, you should be so lucky to share a bed with me. All five star reviews, baby.âÂ
You toss a suggestive wink in at the end, which seems garish enough to break the tension so that Spencer can stop lingering in the corner like a sleep-paralysis demon and move to carefully take his place next to you. He almost mirrors your position, but his legs are too long to quite manage your level of compactness and so they simply fold underneath him. A few silent moments go by, in which you have the dumbest smile on your face and you keep glancing over to the side, waiting for him to be looking back at you.Â
âThis is already the least relaxed I have ever been in a bed.â
âGood thing weâre not going to sleep yet.â
Finally he looks at you, a casual mix of hesitance, concern, and moderate curiosity coloring his features.Â
âWeâre not?â
âOh, my god, Spencer,â you snort. âIâm not gonna molest you. We have to do slumber party stuff, remember?â
He flushes again, glancing at the digital clock in his bedside table.Â
âBut itâs late. We should go to sleep.â
âAt slumber parties you have to stay up until you literally canât keep your eyes open anymore. Those are the rules. I donât make them.â
Still, your insistence that you follow the international code of sleepover law goes unabided by Spencer. He simply leans over to flick off his lamp, bathing the room in darkness.Â
âI appreciate the effort,â he says, and your eyes havenât adjusted but you can hear the rustle of sheets and blankets as he gets under them, âbut unfortunately we have to be awake and alert in five hours.â
âYouâre no fun,â you huff, but climb under your own side of the cover and scoot down until youâre flat on your back, covered in blanket and hands folded on your sternum.Â
Spencer doesnât respond.Â
Itâs silent for maybe five minutes, during which your brain doesnât slow down at all. Maybe you are crepuscular. Or slightly nocturnal. You have nothing but energy.Â
In an attempt to get comfortable, you try adjusting your position.
The mattress squeaks.Â
You do it again.Â
Another squeak.Â
A second goes by, and now youâre intentionally jostling about, squeaking the mattress as much as you can.Â
âWould you stop that?â Spencer says, voice already gravelly with sleep. You manage, but youâre already devolving into a fit of giggles. âIâm going to smother you with this pillow,â he threatens, but you hear the disgruntled smile curling his words.Â
âIâm sorry, Iâm sorry. Iâm just not in the mood to rest.â
Another moment passes. He sighs deeply. You smile into the dark.Â
âWhat are you in the mood for?â He asks flatly, and youâve won.Â
âTell me a secret,â you immediately demand in a hushed tone, flipping on your side to face his back. âSomething youâve never told anyone else.â
âI donâtââ
âShh! You have to whisper it. Those are the slumber party rules.â
âI donât have any secrets,â he whispers, clearly flustered, and to your delight, rolling to face the ceiling. âNone that youâd want to hear.â
âOh, now thatâs just not true. Youâre an enigma, Spencer Reid. You fascinate me.â
Youâre only sort of kidding.Â
âIâŚÂ fascinate you?â
âCompletely. You know, ever since you moved your desk across from mine I get distracted just staring at you and wondering what youâre thinking about. But youâre very⌠hard to read, sometimes. I think itâs because youâre a Scorpio.â
âThe position of the stars at the time I was born has no bearing on my personality.â
âFine,â you concede, still in a glorified stage whisper. âBut that doesnât mean you donât display the archetypal Scorpio traits. Youâre all brooding, mysterious. Kinda, I don't know... intense and sexy and unknowableâŚâ
âSexy?â He laughs, breaking the whisper rule. You grin and let it slide. Youâd hoped he would catch that one.Â
âHey,â you snap, losing the smile immediately and lightly shoving against what you hope is his shoulder. âYouâre supposed to be telling me a secret, damnit. I wonât let your wiles and charm distract me from getting what I want.â
âWhen have you ever let anything stop you from getting what you want?â
Truly, your cheeks are going to start aching with this constant back and forth between poker-faced and huge Cheshire smile.Â
âStop flirting and answer my question, Reid.â
With the amount of times youâve made him sigh tonight he must be dizzy. You chew your lip apprehensively in the silence, picking a loose thread on your pillow. Itâs so pitch black in the room, you canât see him where he lies only a few meager inches from you. But you can feel his presence. You can feel the unexpected bass to his voice when heâs tired and speaking this lowly, which youâve never heard before.
âAll the secrets Iâve never told anyone are just⌠depressing.â
Your heart sinks a little at the way he swallows between words, like that in and of itself was hard to admit. Unthinkingly your hand slides into the small gap of white cotton between the two of you.Â
âNot very good slumber party material, I think,â he laughs self-consciously.Â
âYouâd be surprised.âÂ
The sentiment comes quieter and more serious than youâve been all night. If only you had the words to tell him that he can tell you anything. That you want to hold his secrets for him under lock and key. That you would never, ever do anything less than offer him kindness and supportâeven if it doesnât always seem that way when youâre teasing him.Â
âDo you have any secrets youâve never told anyone else?â He murmurs eventually, so soft it could kill you.Â
And you do. There are plenty of dark ones, probably not all dissimilar from those heâd elected not to share only a moment ago.Â
But you donât bring those up.Â
Instead, you decide to admit to something silly. Still, it makes you nervous as you feel it coming loose in your chest. Youâve really never told anyone this, and itâs perhaps more vulnerable than youâd realized before the words were already leaving your mouth.Â
âI, haveâŚâ You pause to laugh at yourself, and continue on. âI have a stuffed dragon that I take with me on every single case.â
âYou do?â Spencer laughs, so loud and unexpected it almost hurts your ears, angling his head toward you. Blood rushes to your face.Â
âYes. He usually sleeps in bed with me. Heâs an excellent listener and has been the origin of several of my most genius breakthroughs. You remember Gibson Cooper?â
âFamily annihilator from Houston?âÂ
âCorrect. Heâs in prison because Oscar helped me make the Cook Creek Campground connection between the OâHara and Diangelo families.â
âYou have a stuffed profiler dragon named Oscar? Is he here?â
âHeâsâI mean, I wasnât expecting to share a room with someone.â
âSo heâs in your bag.â
âYes,â you seethe, âand I will not be introducing you to him. He doesnât do well with men.â
âYou are genuinely psychotic.â
You huff.
âFine. Iâm sorry I told you anything.â
Youâre about to roll over onto your other sideâbut Spencer surprises you by catching the hand that had been outstretched in his direction. He carefully intertwines your fingers and squeezes gently.Â
âYouâre right. That was mean. Thank you for telling me about Oscar.â His tone is surprisingly teasing, and youâre so uncharacteristically flustered by this rare show of physicality and affection that you canât muster an adequate comeback. Spencer doesnât seem to mind filling your silence, though, sounding a little more solemn now. âIâm sorry I donât have any secrets for you.â
The way his voice gets all thin and scratchy sometimesâitâs like the earnest sincerity just pours out of him. He canât control it. He canât be anyone other than who he is. Maybe thatâs a part of why you love him so much. You wonder if he knows how much you love him. Itâs not exactly a secretâanyone on the team would be able to tell as much. Youâve been relentlessly teased for the way you are with him. For your batting lashes and your lingering touches and your unabashed flirting. But beneath it all is true affection, and nobody doubts that.Â
âItâs okay,â you decide with a squeeze of your own, after a moment of deliberation. âYouâll think of something. âCause, yâknowâyouâre stuck with me for at least a few more days.â
âOh, god,â he laughs, and releases your hand, rolling over to face away from you. But you donât mind. Youâll get lots more time to invade his personal space over the coming week or so. âGoodnight.â
âSweet dreams,â you sing-song, turning away to face the wall with what is perhaps your biggest, stupidest smile yet.
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Your hands around my neck
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: You choke Joel for the first time in bed, and he likes it... maybe even a bit too much.
Warnings: unprotected p in v sex, choking, premature ejaculation, kind of sub!Joel, dirty talk.
a/n: how ironic that lately ive been the most creative that ive been in months. right when writing should be the last thing on my mind.
You were on top of him, and his gaze was glued to you.
To your tits bouncing with your movements, to your parted mouth emanating desperate sounds, to your eyes shutting as you threw your head back, to your nails clawing at his chest, and to where your bodies became one.
He was mesmerized by you like he always was,
and while he lost himself in the pleasure you brought, in how fucking good you were making him feel, and how fuking perfect you looked doing it... he didn't catch the switch in your expression, the mischievous grin pulling at your lips, or the way your hands were suddenly traveling up his chest, until finally-
His eyes widened the moment your hands wrapped around his neck, putting just enough pressure for him to lose his mind.
A groan loud enough for the entire town to hear erupted from his chest, as pleasure so fucking deep into his core took over his body.
"You like that?" you taunted, biting down a grin as you kept bouncing on his cock
"fuck-goddamn-" he could only grunt, his head tilting backward, his eyes just about rolling to the back of his head as his chest rose and fell like he'd just come back to life.
He didn't know what any of this was. What this feeling, this ecstasy, this pleasure came from.
But god it felt good.
"You like having my hands around your neck baby?" you hummed, tightening your hold just enough to watch a needy cry flee his lips "you look so pretty like this" You smiled,
and fuck him, but Joel was gone. he was in another universe, he was in heaven, and he was-
he was about to come
"darlin-'" he tried to warn you
"shh" you stopped him "There's no need to talk now" you shook your head, lowering yourself until your mouth could ghost his "just take what I give you" you said, taking his bottom lip into your mouth and biting "you're doing so good for me baby"
Good Christ and heaven
His pride went flying out the window. Any shame, any embarrassment that he ever could have felt, dissipated into nothing as he heard himself whimper- as he moaned your name like a prayer... as his cock twitched into your cunt, painting your walls with his come.
"fuck-I'm sorry sweetheart-" he started apologizing immediately once he came back down from cloud nine and realized what had happened.
Only of course you were smiling like a kid as you freed his neck from your hold.
"you're sorry?"
"Yeah" he breathed, watching you closely as you moved some sweaty hair out of his forehead "I don't know what happened- I- I've never-"
"That was the hottest thing I've ever seen Joel" You cut him off "Did you like it?"
And at that, Joel couldn't help but chuckle
If it had been anybody else, he would have been mortified, he realized, but with you... there was no such thing
"I think the proof of how much I liked it is leakin' out of you as we speak, darlin'"
You giggled, your eyes trailing to where your bodies still joined, noticing exactly what he was talking about.
"Oh I'm gonna have so much fun with this" you murmured, both of you smiling like idiots as your mouth crushed with one another.
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đđŁđđ¤đŽ đŠđđ đđđ¤đŹ
synopsis: after being away and entertaining others, your husband decides to give you a special something
wrd cnt: 1.1k
tags: cunnalingus, oral, penetration, doggy, vulgar, praise, explicit
a/n: if you couldnât tell been having major writers block + no time to write but this one reeled me back in a bit so i hope you enjoy <3
It was late at night by the time you got home. The house had been quiet all evening, save for the soft hum of your laptop as you explored some new music. But now that the sun had set, there were no more distractionsâjust the sound of your own breathing, the whirring blade of the fan above your head, and the occasional creak of floorboards beneath your feet.
You heard the front door open and close, followed by footsteps coming down the hallway towards the living room where you sat on the couch. Your eyes widened when you saw who it was.
âSunday!â You exclaimed, jumping up and running over to him. He looked incredible, even if he was clearly exhausted from working all day. His face was flushed red with desire, and his black suit pants hung lower on his hips than usual, as his belt was quite undone just as his tie.
âY/n-,â he said, leaning down to kiss you deeply before pulling away. âI missed youâŚquite dearlyâ
You replied breathlessly in agreeance, taking his hand and leading him over to sit beside you on the couch. As soon as he sat down, he pulled you into his lap and started kissing your neck hungrily.
âMmm... I love how good you tastes,â he murmured against your skin as he moved lower down your chest, licking and sucking at your nipples until they hardened under his touch.
To say you were surprised was an understatement, your husband was always quite well mannered, and in control especially of himself.
Before you could express this pleasant concern, be continued further down, pushing your body down and stopping his peppering of kisses just above your waistband.
âPlease donât stop...â You begged softly. âKeep going...â
He chuckled darkly as he pulled your bottoms down, revealing your pretty laced panties.
âSuch a naughty girl,â he whispered seductively. âyou know happens when you tease me like that, donât you?â
With those words still ringing in your ears, he slid his hands around to the front of your panties and began teasing them apart until they fell down around your ankles; now placed on each of his shoulders.
His soft hands spread your legs wide apart and leaned forward to lick along the length of your slit.
âOhh... yes... keep doing that...â You moaned, feeling yourself growing wetter than ever before.
âMmmm... such a tasty little thing,â he purred, moving one finger inside you while continuing to lap at your clit with his tongue. âFeels good hm? Youâre drippingâŚâ He smirked, slipping a second finger inside you, curling them up and down faster this time. âHow does that feel baby?â He asked, before returning to suck your swollen pearl.
âSo good... oh god... more-...â You panted, arching your back slightly to allow him better access to you.
âLike this?â He whispered, increasing the speed of his movements until he felt you begin to tremble against him.
âYes! Oh fuck yes!-â You cried out loudly, throwing your head back against the couch cushions as pleasure washed through every part of your body.
As if sensing your impending climax, he suddenly stopped moving his fingers altogether and instead focused solely on licking and sucking at your clit. With waves of pleasure coursing through your entire body, you squirmed uncontrollably.
âOh my god... yes... right there...â You gasped, grinding yourself against him as best you could while trying not to fall off the couch entirely.
âMmmmm... I knew you liked this,â he chuckled wickedly, pushing you down onto the couch once again. âNow let me show you something else.â
With those words still echoing in your mind, he stood up and placed a knee inbetween your legs, slowly pushing into you as he got close to you. Grabbing your hand, he gave you hold of his erection, stroking himself with your hand slowly up and down several times before letting you do it yourself.
âWhat do you think of that?â He asked teasingly. âSee what you do to me?â
âMhmâŚ.,â you answered quietly with a small nod, feeling yourself grow hungrier than ever before.
As if he couldnât waste another second, he dragged you up and pushed your body against the couch, feeling his chest heavy against your back as your breasts pressed up against the fabric of the apolstry.
âFuck I missed you-â He says, slowly dragging his cock up and down your folds as you hear his shaky breath.
âSunday- pleaseâŚâ You mewl, pushing yourself back into him.
âUse your words, my love.â He breathes against your ear.
You groan in annoyance at his teasing.
He chuckles, and then thrusts his thick cock into your tight, wet heat.
It was like a drug, every movement of his hips, every touch of his hand, every inch of his skin against yours was ecstacy.
After a few moments, his pace becomes steady, and soon enough his hips are snapping furiously against yours.
You moan and writhe beneath him, clawing desperately at the sofa beneath you.
He lets out a deep growl and slams his hands down on either side of your head.
His grip tightens as he pounds into you harder and harder, causing your body to shake uncontrollably.
The friction of his cock sliding in and out of your dripping pussy combined with the roughness of his thrusts and the force of his hands against your body, made you see stars.
Your mouth hangs open and your eyes roll back, as you arch your back and thrust your hips upwards, meeting his thrusts eagerly.
Your fingers dig into his biceps, gripping onto him tightly.
With each passing second, you could feel your orgasm building within you, threatening to tear through you any moment now.
You knew that this wasn't going to last much longer.
"Fuck- I'm so closeâŚ," you cry out, throwing your head back.
His hand reaches up and grabs your throat, squeezing tightly, and pulling you closer to him.
His thrusts grow even more powerful, and you gasp as he slams his cock deep inside you.
"Come for me then, my darling," he purrs into your ear, his voice low and husky.
He releases his grip on your neck and moves his hand down to grip your ass firmly.
You whimper and writhe beneath him, unable to hold back any longer.
"Fuck-!" You scream, throwing your head back once more and letting the orgasm rip through you.
His cock slides in and out of you faster and faster, as his movements become more erratic.
His fingers dig into your ass as he pulls you even closer, thrusting into you one final time before he explodes inside you.
His hips slow their frantic rhythm as he groans and grunts into your ear, his seed filling you up completely; leaving you tilted over the cushions and wrecked.
whimsic4alwasab1 ⢠- do not copy, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own.
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The Leisure Streamer is a Hottie (Chapter Two)
Summary: Rumor had it the top donor of the-strongest-streamers chats get to see him naked! Now that you're the top donor will you get to see the goods or was it just a rumor. Time will tell.
Pairing: Streamer!Gojo x FAB!Reader
Warnings: language, suggestiveness, fluff
A/N: Part two of the highly requested LSIH!! This will probably be a four part series, maybe five IDK yet!! đđđ
Part One
Voices were muffled as someone gently tapped your cheek. Nausea swirled in your stomach as you felt your eyes and eyebrows twitch as you stirred. âHey! Come on! Wake up!â Suguru? Your new boss was calling your name.
âShe saw Gojoâs face; I would pass out too if I had to see his pasty ass.â
âFuck you, Sukuna.â Satoru snapped as you slowly opened your eyes. âHey! Good morning!â
As you turned your head towards Gojoâs voice, you blinked slowly, making out his shape. He was standing at the edge of the couch, grinning as he elevated your legs up. Seeing him like that had your face turning red as you glanced around. Having your favorite streamer elevate your legs was the least embarrassing thing that has happened thus far.
Suguru was crotched next to you, and the whole damn shop's employees circled the couch you were lying down on, watching you.
âYuuji, go grab her a glass of juice.â Geto stands up as Gojo lowers your feet, resting them on the cushions. âMegumi, Nobara, can you make her a sandwich to go with it?â
âOn it, boss!â
The trio heads to the kitchen as Gojo hurries to your side, helping you slowly sit up. âI am so sorry.â You utter out, looking up at the six-three man who smiles, bangs falling in his face.
âPlease don't apologize; I'm glad I was there to catch you.â He glanced at his phone, grinning wide. âSorry, I need to take this call, Satoruââ bright blue eyes leave your face for a second, âmake sure she eats and drinks the food; itâll help with nausea.â
âYes, sir! Have fun on your date!â
âIt's not a date! It's just an employee and her boss going out for lunch!â
âDate!â
Suguru flipped Satoru off as he hurried to the back with the other employees. He was leaving you all alone with your favorite streamer in person. The same person you had masturbated with the night before.
âOne sandwich and a glass of juice!â Yuuji grinned, handing you a plate.
âThanks, Yuuji,â Satoru grinned, waving him off before turning his head to you. âYou heard Mama-Geto, eat. Then we could talk.â
At least your favorite streamer allowed you to eat your food before talking to you. If you werenât sitting on the couch and didnât have some sugar coursing through your veins, you might have passed out for a second time. You were lucky that you didnât pass out for a second time. You sat there in silence, eating the delicious sandwich that was provided to you by your new boss.
Once Gojo sees that your plate is spotless, crumbs and all he turns to smile at you. Heâs so much cuter in person. Which you thought was impossible, seeing that he looked like a freaking God on his live streams. Especially last night when he was stroking his coâ.
âFeel better?â Gojo interrupts your reminiscing of the night prior. The way you jump doesnât go unnoticed. âEasy there, sweetheart. Iâm not gonna bite.â He cocks a pristine white eyebrow at you. âThat is unless you asked me to. Then I would be happy to bite you.â
âOh my gosh.â The way you giggle makes Gojo smile wide. Last night, he was speechless when he first saw your face, not the adorable mochi avatar you designed. You were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his entire life. For you to get flustered over him had him swelling with pride.
The stranger you had shared an intimate moment with via WebCam the night before stood up and sat beside you. âAre you feeling okay?â for the first time since you came, there was concern in his eyes.
âIâm fine, I promise. I was just shocked to see you. Who wouldâve guessed that we lived in the same town.â
âThe world is a small place.â
âIt most definitely is.â
Satoru beamed, holding his hand out to you. âGojo Satoru, itâs nice to meet you!â You smiled wide, grabbing his hand and shaking it, and as your fingers brushed against his, you swear it felt like electricity passed through your fingertips. The sensation was both alarming and comforting at the same time. A strange new sensation that you welcomed.
âSo youâre telling me your name isnât The-strongest-steamer? What a rip-off.â
âOh! So sorry, mochigurl89! So tell me, do you prefer to go by âmochiâ or âgurlâ?â
âNeither.â In between giggles, you tell him your name; upon hearing it, he gasps dramatically, placing his hand over his heart.
âAnd here I thought I hit the jackpot! The daughter of some mochi tycoon! I was having dreams about diving into a pool full of mochi.â
âDamn, you must really like mochi.â
Satoru nods his head, âKikufuku is my favorite! I love the Zunda and cream-flavored ones.â He licked his lips at the mention of his favorite sweet treat.
âReally? I've never tried that kind. Do you know of any cafĂŠs that sell it here in Tokyo?â
âItâs a Sendai specialty.â
âOh, I'll have to try it if Iâm ever out there.â
âHell yeah, are you busââ
âGojo!!â
Your favorite streamer stiffened his head, lurching forward as the front door to the coffee shop flung open. Just as he was slowly sinking to the ground, you turned to the source of the voice. A man with blonde hair, neatly brushed, wearing a blue button-down shirt and a cream-colored suit jacket, walked inside. Honey-Brown eyes scanned the area before landing on you.
âOh, apologies,â The man fixed his yellow and black spotted tie before heading further into the shop, âGeto informed me that Gojo had finally made his way out of his dungeon, but I guess heâs crawled his gremlin ass back down there.â
âUhhhââ
The man was about to turn and head towards the basement when he heard the floorboards creek under Gojoâs weight as he tried to lay underneath the couch. You werenât sure how to react or what to do in a situation like this. So you just let it play out, your eyes focused on Gojoâs feeble attempt to hide himself before darting back to the blonde man storming towards the couch.
Satoruâs attempts to hide him under the smallest space of the couch were rendered useless as he saw the stranger's shadow stretch out on the floor below him. With a nervous laugh, he turned to look up at the man who was glaring down at him as the blonde manâs eyebrow twitched.
âN-Nanamin!â
âDo not call me that! What do you think youâre doing? Why have you been ignoring my calls?â
Gojo grumbled before rolling back to try to hide himself underneath the couch. âBecause you're gonna lecture me.â Nanamin, which obviously wasnât his real name from the way he reacted, stepped around the sofa and gently hooked his foot around Satoruâs leg jerking him away from the couch.
âDamn right, Iâm going to lecture you! That is my job as your PR manager!â
So, the mysterious man was Gojoâs PR manager. He was typically responsible for handling all sorts of business deals and sponsorships and finding indie games for Gojo to play. You had heard on the Discord servers that his PR manager was amazing. Not only did he make Gojo look amazingly good online, but he also helped pick out games that had blown up because of Gojo. Thus benefiting both the Satoruâs channel and the game designer.
People often praised Gojo for his honest reviews and his support of small creators. It's all because behind every good drama-free streamer was a good PR manager. And from how popular and drama-free Gojoâs channel usually was, the tall man standing before you had much to do with that. You also had heard through the grapevine that being a PR manager was a hassle, and there is no doubt that was true, too, because Gojoâs PR manager looked like he was about ready to commit a federal crime.
âYou promised me that you would consider going to San Diego Comic-Con! Mind telling me why I just got an email from the guest board stating that they were sorry that you had declined their offer?!â
âI thought about it and decided I didnât wanna go. Simple as that, Nanamin!â
âYou need to go out there and meet your fans face-to-face. You'll start losing followers if you donât contribute more to your public appearance.â Satoru pouted like a child, grumbling about Nanamin not being his dad. âYou know that Iâm right.â
Satoru sat up, groaning as he motioned to himself. âNanami, what am I supposed to do? Go out on a stage half-naked in my sunglasses?! My followers donât follow me for the games; as charming as I may be, they follow me because they like watching a half-naked man play leisure games!â The mysterious Nanami released an exasperated groan, rubbing his hands through his hair.
âThis is why I keep telling you to do more streams, fully clothed!â
âAgain, my followers prefer it when Iâm half naked.â Cerulean eyes landed on you as Satoru pushed himself off the ground. âIsn't that right, sweetheart?â
Finally, noticing your presence again, Nanamiâs eyes snapped in your direction as Gojo addressed you. For a long second, it looked like he was trying to put together what to say. Before a single syllable could leave his lips, Gojo had his arm draped over his shoulder, pulling him close to his side. The blonde man huffs out a sigh before his shoulders, relaxing the tension leaving his muscles.
âI-I mean, you being half naked is a perk to watching your streams. And Iâm just speaking for myself here, but I enjoy watching your reactions and reviews more than looking at your chest.â
Nanami perked up at the bluntness of your words, which left Gojo in shock. âSee, perfect example, your fans donât just see you as eye candy; people watch you because youâre funny, you make your streams enjoyable, and youâre always giving back to the community that has welcomed you so lovingly.â you
For just a second, you thought that maybe Gojo was listening to Nanami, but when he shrugged his shoulders, giving a little âehâ in response, Nanami threw his hands in the air before dropping them to his sides. There was something almost comical, watching them interact with each other; they got under each other's skin. It was quite the dynamic.
âI give up on you; Iâm going to put my notice in one of these days because of the headache you constantly leave me with.â
âYou would never in a million years, put your never give me your notice.â
âWanna bet?â
The threat had Satoru sitting up straight, dizzy, cleared his throat, âIâm going to pretend that it didnât happen, and Iâm gonna introduce you to my top donor from last night.â A look of panic plastered over Nanamiâs face as he examined you like you were some crazed stalker. âN-No! Look, Suguru needed an artist to help design a new logo for the cafĂŠ! Mochigurl89 just happened to be applying for the job without me knowing.â
âIt's true; I am not a stalker.â You held your hand out to Nanami, who took it without hesitation. After introducing yourself, you bowed at the waist. âItâs a pleasure to meet you.â
âNanami Kento, the pleasure is all mine.â His gaze focused back on Satoru. âNow, enough with the distractions, we have work to do. We have to retract the statement you gave to the Comic-Con committee. We must review new trends and games I found for you to play. Itâs going to be a hectic day, so I hope youâre ready.â
Being a streamer seemed like a busy job. You were eager to have your meet and greet, but it seemed like Satoruâs day was booked. Since you would be working at the cafe, you could schedule your meet and greet for another day. You pushed yourself off the couch, grabbing your saddlebag off the ground and putting it over your shoulder. Seeing you get up, Gojoâs face fell as he rushed after you, holding your wrist and stopping you in your tracks.
âWait, please don't go! I owe you a meet and greet!â
âNo, it's okay! We can rain check for next time. Nanami seems to have a long day planned for you, and I donât wanna interrupt that.â
Satoru grumbled, shooting a glare in the direction of his PR manager. For a moment, you could almost hear the wheels turning in his head before his pout transformed into a mischievous smirk. Satoru took several steps before draping his arm over Nanamiâs shoulder, pulling him tight against his body. Sensing something was at play, Nanami lowered at his client, eyeing him up and down, waiting to hear whatever excuse came out of his mouth.
âYaâ know, I thought you said my fans are my biggest priority.â
Nanami pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling through his mouth. âThey are a big part of your career, but you canât just get away with talking and meeting your fans. There is more to this, and you know that.â You shifted again, eyes darting from the exit back to the two men standing in the middle of the coffee shop. It didnât feel like a conversation you should be involved in, but Satoru had stopped you from leaving. So it wouldnât hurt to stick around and see what he had planned.
âRight, yes.â Satoru cleared his throat, eyes darting towards the counter of the shop. âYouâre so right, Nanami Kento! What would I do without such a great PR manager? Nanami Kento is the best!!â
You were about to ask why he was yelling his name when you watched Nanamiâs pale cheeks flush as he glanced toward the counter. âNanamin!!â Yuuji and another boy practically threw themselves over the counter, rushing toward the taller man. âNanamin! Hi!â Yuujiâs eyes glittered and gleamed, and he held his fist up in front of him. âCould you show me some new moves the next time weâre at the dojo together?! I practically mastered the ones you showed me before!â another boy wearing a beanie dug through his backpack, holding out a laminated folder towards the older man.
âIno, whatâs thââ
âA report on some of the newest trends! I also compiled a list of games I think would be great for Gojoâs channel! I could help you!â
The two young men crowded Nanami with a big grin, stars practically twinkling in their eyes. Not once did the PR manager look uncomfortable. In fact, he almost looked like he was happy to have two young men interested in conversing with him. You couldâve stood there all day and listened to their enthusiastic chatter, but Satoru grabbed your wrist and yanked you out of the coffee shop while Nanani was distracted by his two pupils.
Gojo was laughing as he looked over his shoulder at you, pulling you closer to him as he ran faster. âCome on! We got a train to catch!â A train? Why in the world did you both have a train to catch? When he said he owed you a meet and greet, you figured youâd probably do it in the comfort of the coffee shop.
âW-Where are we going!?â you laughed aloud as you followed him down the street towards the train station.
An hour and a half later, you got your answer as Satoru placed a bag in front of you. âKikufuku! Sendaiâs specialty and my absolute favorite sweet treat!â He opened the bag and pulled out a small box, placing it in front of you. âGo on! Try one!â You werenât sure where Gojo was looking, looking through his dark sunglasses and the black mask covering his face so he wasnât recognized in public. But as he sat in front of you, motioning to the box, you could feel his stare.
You opened the box without hesitation and pulled out one of the emojis that had brought you to Sendai on your spontaneous day trip because Gojo wanted you to try his favorite mochi. You pulled the rice cake out of its wrapper before biting it. It was chewy and soft; the flavor was sweet but earthy simultaneously, a perfect balance to the sweetness. But the whipped cream in the middle had tilted your head back in near orgasmic pleasure. Satoru wasnât kidding when he said this was his favorite treat. Because honestly, he might have you hooked on it now.
âOh my god, itâs so good!â
âRight!â Satoru asked, yanking down his mask and placing it on the table's surface, allowing him to eat one of the mochi balls freely. âIâm telling you, itâs the whipped cream in the middle!â
âM-Mmmhmm! It is!â
You both sat there munching on mochi while sipping on your Boba, which you had insisted on buying despite Gojoâs protests. He had been kind enough to buy you a ticket and bring you to Sendai for mochi because of a spur-of-the-moment decision. Who knew your tiny, cute little avatar would end up being the reason you got to go out with your favorite streamer? This was a dream come true, and if it really was a dream, you didnât want wake up.
Not even twenty-four hours ago, he was a stranger to you, and now you were sitting across from him at a table at a shopping center. You were laughing and talking like you had known each other for years. You guys had just so much in common. The game shows you watched, to a similar taste and sweets. It felt like the meet and greet/day trip with some of the most fun you had had in years. There seemed to be a spark between you two, and it wasnât because you had lost composure and had masturbated with each other the night before. There was more to it than that.
âOh my god, that was so good, it hit the spot! And it will be well worth facing Nanamiâs rage later.â
Sipping on your boba, you slowly leaned forward, getting closer to Gojo's face. âIs he gonna be mad about you playing hooky with me?â Satoru snorted out a laugh, toying with his face mask.
âSweetheart, if anyone were going to get in trouble for playing hooky, it would be me. And honestly, itâs not the first time this has happened, and it definitely will be the last.â
âOh, so do you take all your meet and greets to Sendai for mochi?â
âNo, just the prettiest girl Iâve ever seen. Someone who has stolen my breath away and has been on my mind since we signed off our call last night.â You looked away momentarily with burning cheeks before slowly glancing back toward Satoru. âIâm being serious. I cannot stop thinking about last night.â
Last night was one of the most unforgettable nights of your life. You were used to having okay days or bad days ever since your ex broke up with you. Since then, you have felt stuck in the never-ending cycle of mundane days. You were going to school, working on commissions, and watching your favorite streamers in your free time. Two great back-to-back days felt weird, but you gladly welcomed the change.
âI can't stop thinking about it either.â
âIâm going to be truthfully honest with you. I have never done anything like that in my entire career, let alone my entire life.â
âThat makes two of us then.â
âWould it be awkward if I said I wanted this meet and greet to be more like a first date?â
Satoruâs words had you inhaling sharply, mid-suck on your boba. So ungracefully, you choked on the tapioca balls, sending milk tea spurting out of your nose as you coughed roughly. Satoru stared at you for a long minute, cerulean eyes going wide before he clamped his hand over his mouth. While you tried to find a shred of dignity, the white-haired man in front of you shook, his face red.
âDonât. You. Dare.â You warned as Satoruâs face turned redder. Despite your warning, Satoru threw his head back, roaring with laughter. He smacked his hand against the table while tears flooded his eyes.
Being mad at him for laughing at your pain was hard when he looked so pretty. There was only one other thing for you to do. You laughed with him. With your laughter joining his, Satoru laughed harder, leaning his head forward, white locks hiding his face while you wiped up your mess with a napkin.
âOh my god, oh fuck! I havenât laughed that hard in a long time!â
âYeah? Iâm glad my suffering could entertain you.â You teased, winning a wide grin in return.
âI was going to say something inappropriate, but I donât wanna ruin the moment.â
Already having an idea of what he would say. âFirst date and Iâm choking on balls?â The only sound of laughter is your own. Feeling as though you made it awkward, you give him an apologetic smile, only to see the flushed cheeks and gentle grin Satoru is giving you.
âSo it is a date?â
âI-I guess it is, yes.â
âWould you be uncomfortable if we take this back to my place?â
Darting your tongue out you lick the sweet traces of milk tea up. âOoor~ thereâs a love hotel just down the road.â Satoruâs eyes widened as he stood up packing the bag before grabbing your hand.
âLetâs go!â Both of you hurried out of the shopping center, completely unaware that Gojoâs mask was left behind.
LSIAH Tag List (AGE MUST BE IN BIO):
@witchbybirth @zoeyflower @missmuffinr @kalulakunundrum
Forever Tag List:
@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe @chilichopsticks
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world war sibling
ryomen sukuna x f!reader
**part of my best friend's (older brother) fic
previous part linked here
--
âyou know, you kind of picked the worst spot for your first.â sukuna mumbles.Â
âthat doesnât help, sukuna. like in the slightest.âÂ
sukuna retreats his original comment as the buzzing of the tattoo gun starts again, accompanied by your death-like grip on his hand and the tears spilling out of your eyes. and he almost feels bad for his slightly snide comment â which was intended to make you laugh â as he leans forward, wiping away the wetness and sweat on your forehead, before pressing a kiss to your cheek.Â
âyouâre actually doing great, princess. i cried like a baby during my first.âÂ
âyeah. it was fucking annoying.â toji mutters.Â
you laugh, earning you a smile from both toji and sukuna, as the former continues buzzing into your arm.Â
toji, who you canât help but find familiar, is sukunaâs most trusted tattoo artist. upon their first meeting, he had bent the rules for sukuna at seventeen (i.e. legally under the age for a tattoo) and since then, had been one of sukunaâs favorite artists in the area.Â
and you could tell why sukuna liked him. he was quiet and serious â sukunaâs favorite type of person â but here and there, would offer some strange story about sukuna from years prior, that made the both of them smile when he recounted the memory.Â
long story short, he was yet another undercover sap. you were starting to think that sukuna had a type.Â
âdid he really cry?â you ask.Â
âthatâs rich coming from him â he picked a worse spot than you did. i had to stop and give him a break before i could continue.â toji mutters.Â
you bite down on your lip as you lean against sukunaâs shoulder, the stinging feeling on the inner part of your wrist making your heart race and your head pulsate, as he whispers into your ear, trying to distract you from the pain.Â
âare you excited for tonight?â sukuna asks.Â
âyeah.â you whisper.Â
âwhere are you going?â he asks.Â
you whimper in response, to which sukuna clicks his tongue, before asking again.Â
âthe bar on sixteenth. theyâŚ.oh my fucking godâŚthey have happy hour after five.âÂ
âfigured i might as well ask you now before the four of you are drunk out of your mind.â sukuna scoffs.Â
after what was a painstakingly awkward conversation between you and yuuji three weeks prior, things were slowly returning back to normal, with the smallest of steps. the two of you went back to studying together, and the week prior, you had returned to your usual weekend plans of going out with him, megumi, and kugisaki again.Â
now and then heâd send you strange buzzfeed quizzes at three in the morning, you would send back pictures of cute dogs at work, and finally resumed your original plans of dinner at your parents every other week.Â
yuuji and sukuna had yet to cross paths again, except for the curt greetings theyâd give each other when yuuji dropped you off or sukuna came to pick you up. sukuna hadnât gotten over the fact that yuuji had punched you and yuujiâŚwell, he was almost too embarrassed to show his face, let alone even ask for an apology.Â
yuuji was always like that, so in his head about whatever it was sukuna was thinking. and while normally, youâd encourage him to just talk it out â knowing how sukuna still felt about the entire thing meant that you had tabled trying to get them to get along for the time being.Â
âthatâs it.â toji states, before pushing off of his rolling chair and rummaging through the drawer at his side.Â
you sit up, blinking the tears out of your eyes, as sukuna leans over your shoulder, the two of you admiring the bloody mess on the inside of your wrist, of a waterlily.Â
âitâs perfect, birthday girl.â sukuna whispers.Â
âyou think my mom will kill me?â you ask.Â
âisnât that kind of the point?â
you laugh as sukuna helps you off the chair and walks you over to the little stand, where toji wraps the area in plastic before walking over to ring you up. and itâs almost a joke â how quickly sukuna snatches your credit card from your fingers, before offering his own.Â
âi was going to use that.â you deadpan.Â
âitâs on me. itâs your birthday.âÂ
âyou know i donât ââÂ
âi know you donât care about birthdays, doll. but iâm not a piece of shit. toji, iâm paying.âÂ
the novelty of birthdays, parties, and celebrations seemed to wear off around the time that you turned twelve. a few embarrassing mishaps â like inviting twenty people to a bowling alley just to have only yuuji show up or not having anyone to invite at all the following year out of mortification led to an almost disdain towards the day.Â
and after that, the plan was always simple. the night of, the pair of you would go out â originally for ice cream, but those quickly transitioned into sugar sweet margaritas two years ago when you turned twenty-one. and while the plan with yuuji still standing for tonight, sukuna was afforded the entire morning and afternoon.Â
it was just another day. meaning you and sukuna were going to eat breakfast together â though you did think the little candle he put in your french toast was a cute touch â before heading to your tattoo appointment. he bought you a new pair of earrings and a ribbon for your hair, but only because he insisted that they reminded him of you earlier this week, and obviously had nothing to do with your birthday.Â
and it was perfect â you were going to walk over to the little arts and crafts store after your tattoo appointment, so you and sukuna could make bracelets together before you had to go to the bar with yuuji. it was yet another silly trend you had seen on tiktok â picking out beads that looked like your partner's eyes â and making bracelets out of them, and sukuna was all too quick to oblige.Â
sammy was supposed to stop over briefly at some point to drop off a gift and sukuna was going to tuck you into bed at the end of the night.Â
you could tell that he was trying really hard to contain it, whatever it was he was feeling over the fact that it was your birthday. because knowing him, if he had his way, heâd be going the entire ten miles and buying you a plethora of gifts and dinners if he could.Â
but it took a few talks for him to realize it actually made you really uncomfortable. which is the only reason he let you limit him to three gifts (a bridgerton season three mug, a new taylor swift vinyl, and another lingerie set, which he claimed was more for him than it was for you).Â
and though it was really simple â two red velvet cupcakes on a random park bench and a quiet night out, but you could still feel it. the excessive amounts of kisses he was placing on your shoulder and the way he was opening the doors, that he was trying his best to go above and beyond to make you feel special.Â
it was sweet. and quiet. just the way you liked it.Â
--
you swing open the apartment door to your worst nightmare.Â
the main room is decked out in streamers, balloons, and a pretty pink banner â all of which sukuna set up the night before when you fell asleep for your breakfast together. you thought it was a little bit over dramatic â decorating the entire place for just the two of you â but you have the slightest hunch that it was more for this.Â
âdid you seriously invite all of them?â you whisper, balling your hands into fists at your side as they all cheer, running over to give you excited hugs.Â
instead of what you were promised â sammy stopping over briefly to bring you a gift â almost everyone you know is milling around in your apartment. yuuji, kugisaki, and megumi but also maki, gojo, sammy, and shoko.Â
even megumiâs sister is here.Â
sukuna mouths i had no idea as sammy walks up to your side, placing a shot in your hand.Â
âdrink up, birthday girl!âÂ
âiâm good, sam. you go ahead.âÂ
âroom is really tense. iâd take it if i were you.â sammy mumbles, before walking off.Â
yuuji walks up to your side, offering you a hug, before pulling back and placing his hands on your shoulders.Â
âi tried to stop it. but sister dearest insisted.â yuuji whispers.Â
âoh god, of course she did. did you tell her i would hate this?â you ask.Â
âi did. and then she said, âwho hates birthdays?â and invited everyone anyway.â yuuji responds, perfectly mimicking sammyâs high pitched voice.Â
you groan.Â
âdid you mention the bowling alley?âÂ
âi did. she responded by saying that means thereâs more cake for us.âÂ
yuuji offers you a pinched smile as sukuna snakes his hand across your shoulder, leaning down to whisper in your ear.Â
âiâm so sorry, angel. i swear i had no idea.â sukuna whispers.Â
âi know. you know how sammy can be. goes a little overboardâŚkind of stubborn.â you respond.Â
âyou have another problem.â yuuji states.Â
the two of you turn to your left, as yuuji lifts his hand and awkwardly scratches at the back of his neck.Â
âyou remember makiâs shitty sister?â yuuji asks.Â
âyeah.âÂ
âsheâs your sisterâs girlfriend.âÂ
you feel your throat dry as you dart your head to the left â to where kugisaki and maki are swirling a glass of lemonade in their hands with geto â and to then to the right where sammy is rubbing circles into maiâs back, the two of them talking in hushed tones with gojo.Â
âthis city is too fucking small.â you mumble.Â
âis it that bad?â sukuna asks, his eyes darting between the two of you.Â
âthatâs the understatement of the year. imagine me and sammy onâŚon like steroids.â you respond, miserably.Â
âalright, well. megumi and i did at least get sammy to get a cake from chaupain, so how about you just eat it in the corner while sukuna and i do damage control? weâll just keep them away from each other and try to get them to leave as soon as possible.â yuuji asks.Â
yuuji looks past your shoulder to where sukuna is standing, waiting for a vote of approval. and given the fact that he basically feels like a fish in water at the current moment, he agrees.Â
--
âletâs see the tattoo.â megumi states.Â
you all but oblige, holding out your wrist for megumi and tsumiki to admire, watching as their attentive eyes note the needle work.Â
âthis is beautiful. why the waterlily?â tsumiki asks.Â
you smile.Â
âlike monetâs waterlilies. itâs one of my favorite art pieces.â you respond.Â
âthatâs neat. itâs very pretty.â she responds, giving you a warm smile.Â
âwhereâd you get it? yuuji has been thinking about getting one.â megumi asks.Â
âdowntown. thereâs a tattoo parlor across from that bar that we did glee trivia at once.âÂ
you watch as tsumiki and megumi give each other a look, the former pulling her soft featherlike touch away from your wrist and crossing her arms over her chest.Â
âwho did your tattoo?â megumi asks.Â
âoh. heâs just some guy sukunaâs friends with. heâs been going to him since he was like seventeen..âÂ
megumi clenches his jaw, before placing his hands at his side.Â
âblack hair, scar near his lip?âÂ
you pause.Â
âyeah. his name is toji. do you know him or something?â you ask.Â
âsomething like that.â megumi responds, before shuffling off towards the drinks.Â
tsumiki gives you an almost apologetic smile, before leaning forward and whispering in your ear.Â
âdonât take it personal. heâs our dad.âÂ
âyourâŚâÂ
âyes, our deadbeat dad. it is rather off putting finding out that heâs had moneyâŚor you know, a job this entire time, and friends, when weâve been trying to make ends meet forever. we always had a hunch that he was there but you know, kind of confirms it if you were there this morning.âÂ
you pinch your eyes shut, before placing a hand on her shoulder.Â
âiâm so sorry.â you mumble.Â
âyou didnât know. iâm going to check on megumi, though, if thatâs okay? you know how he can be.âÂ
âplease.âÂ
you drag your tired legs to the corner of the kitchen island, pouring yourself a shot, before slumping down into the chair. and your very futile efforts of getting a second to yourself are all but squashed when you find satoru at your side, sliding a slice of cake your way.Â
âhi birthday girl.âÂ
you sigh.Â
âhi satoru. thank you for coming.â
âi do suppose i should apologize for showing up. i didnât realize you hate birthdays.âÂ
âi donât hate them, itâs justâŚthe big party thing. not really my jam. for obvious reasons. i just accidentally brought up someoneâs deadbeat dad and somehow brought together the most homicidal pair of sisters in japan into my apartment.â you respond.Â
satoru smiles in response, looking out to the group of them as well.Â
âitâs basically world war sibling in here right now. but your boys are handling the sisters decently well. andâŚ.getting along for once.âÂ
you smile, looking over at sukuna and sammy on the left.Â
âi know, right? itâs actually kind of cute. they keep looking over at each other every few minutes and giving each other thumbs up to confirm itâs still going good.â you mumble.Â
âkind of expected. both of them are half responsible for making your worst nightmare happen on your birthday of all days, it makes sense that theyâd put their shit aside for one second to make it at least a little bit better.â satoru states.Â
sukuna looks over at you, shooting you a weary glance â like heâs trying to gauge how youâre feeling â which you shake off.Â
âplus, at some point, theyâre going to realize that itâs better for both of their interests to get along again. maybe this is when itâll happen and then something good will come out of your birthday.â satoru adds.Â
you pause, looking down to continue demolishing the frosting of the cake with the fork.Â
âyouâre quite hopeful.âÂ
âi mean, yeah. theyâre brothers and they were starting to get close again and thatâs part of it. but at some point, theyâre going to understand that itâs going to cause a real block for both of them if they continue acting the way they do. sukunaâs your boyfriend but yuujiâs been the first person youâve gone to your entire life. canât exactly give one up for the other.âÂ
you smile.Â
âyou think about this an awful lot, donât you?âÂ
âsuguru and i talk about it in bed every night before we go to sleep. it is riveting.â satoru affirms.Â
âiâm glad we could provide some entertainment for you.â you respond, giving him a smile.Â
in the three seconds you look away, whatever tension that was boiling in the room seems to come to a head, when maki and mai seemed to have both reached for the last piece of cake â and both of their guard dogs, kugisaki and sammy, were ready to fight over it.Â
âjust split it in fucking half.â sukuna mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose.Â
âthatâs a great idea! iâll do it for you guys, here.â yuuji responds, before getting four pairs of irritated eyes staring at him, as he retreats his hands.Â
you sigh as you walk up to their sides, satoru on your heels, as you take the spot in between sukuna and yuuji. the two of them give you a pinched smile that barely meets their eyes.Â
âi didnât eat the slice that gojo brought me yet. youâre more than welcome to take mine.â you offer.Â
âokay yeah, thatâs fine. you guys can take the leftovers.â sammy responds.Â
kugisaki rolls her eyes.Â
âwhy should we take it? we reached for it first.â kugisaki mutters.Â
mai turns to sammy, shaking her head.Â
âitâs fine, sammy. you guys have it.â mai responds.Â
âtypical. trying to take the higher ground to look good, arenât you?â maki asks.Â
âwell, leave it to you to make a scene at your friendâs birthday party.â mai mutters back.Â
maki scoffs.Â
âsheâs your girlfriendâs sister. youâre just trying to do the right thing to look a certain way, like you always fucking do. itâs the same shit you do with our parents and ââ maki starts.Â
âokay, guys. thereâs kind of a time and place for this type of thing and ââ yuuji starts.Â
âshut up, yuuji.â kugisaki and maki shout in unison.Â
sukuna clenches his jaw. Â
âokay, seriously. thatâs enough. just take a beat and walk away. all four of you.â sukuna mutters, as the two of them walk off.Â
sukunaâs tone is intimidating enough to get all of them to back off. and you lean back against the counter, watching as they both sulk off into their respective corners, as you rub the sides of your temples. sammy joins you at your side, taking an awkwardly long sip of her lemonade, as you sigh.Â
âare you going to take yuuji and sukunaâs advice next time? i really do hate birthday parties.â you ask.Â
sammy turns to her side, her eyes incredulous.Â
âyou canât be serious. youâre not blaming that on me, right?â sammy asks.Â
you widen your eyes.Â
âwhat?âÂ
âi was just trying to do a nice thing for you. all of these people wanted to see you, for your birthday, and you were just kind of side sweeping all of them. how was i supposed to know that maiâs sister was going to be here?âÂ
you groan.Â
âi was obviously joking, sammy. trying to lighten the mood and all.âÂ
âyouâre the queen of passive aggressiveness. i know you werenât. god forbid, we canât all be like your boy toys and spend our entire life trying to read your mind since you canât seem to say whatever is on it.âÂ
you roll your eyes.Â
âso what if i wasnât joking? you clearly need to hear it when all you do is just what you think is best. i wasnât side sweeping any of them, most of them would have understood if i just wanted to spend the day the way i usually do.âÂ
yuuji tries to interject.Â
âlisten. i think weâre all feeling a lot of things right now ââÂ
âyou donât have to read my mind when there were two people right there telling you that i would have hated it. you just purposely chose not to listen.â you finish.Â
âyouâre shitty. i was just trying to be nice. and then you wonder why i never want to talk to you.âÂ
yuuji can tell it stings from the way your face falls.Â
âsammy, come on. itâs ââ yuuji starts.Â
you suppose you should be thankful that no one got injured this time. because in the split second that sammy tries to shove yuuji away and tell him to butt out of it, he accidentally backs his elbow into the little rack, sending two of the mugs shattering to the floor.Â
it takes one peak to realize that one of them is the one sukuna quite literally unboxed for you this morning. you didnât even have a chance to use it.Â
you turn to sukuna, who gives you what might be the most irritated look youâve ever seen him muster, before he shuffles towards the closet for the broom. youâre sure that sammy takes some type of hint that itâs time for her to go and getoâs able to wrangle the rest of them to leave too as sukuna shuffles up the glass.Â
itâs a quick exodus after that, the room so tense with the heat in the air that almost everyone was scrambling to get out to take a breath. sukuna isnât halfway to closing the door on geto and gojo when the tears start bubbling out of your eyes, warm and hot on your cheeks.Â
âoh, angel. come here.â sukuna whispers, opening up his arms as you dig your forehead into his shoulder.Â
you can hear yuuji shuffling behind the two of you, boxing the last of the leftovers, as you cry into sukunaâs shoulder, making a considerably large snot and tear filled stain on your shirt.Â
âi hate my birthday. this isâŚthis is so fucking stupid, sukuna.âÂ
sukuna rubs circles into your back, before wrapping his hand around your cheek and wiping the mess of glitter and tears away.Â
âlike, i know i shouldnât expect much but i just wanted to have a nice day. itâs so stupid that sammyâs so stubborn that she invited everyone. and i know i should have had fun butâŚbut everything just kept going wrong.âÂ
sukuna can tell that youâre subconsciously reaching for your hair, pulling down on your locks and pulling out strays. because while you had left your picking at your skin habits for bad moments, you seemed to angrily pull at your head when you were tense.Â
âturn around.â sukuna murmurs, as you heave a sigh and continue your rant as sukuna tasks himself with braiding your hair.Â
âtoji is megumiâs dad. and now iâm scared i made him feel like shit by bringing it up. and i know i didnât do anything wrong but if someone just randomly brought up my deadbeat dad i wouldnât feel great about it either.âÂ
âiâm sure heâs not mad at you, baby.â sukuna offers.Â
âand fucking sammy. we were just getting along butâŚbut she always does shit like this. i wasnât blaming her for what happened, but i damn well could have. if literally the two people who know me the best are teling you that i wouldnât enjoy this, why would you go ahead and do it anyways? and then on top of that, a whole fucking scene where she ended up yelling at me.âÂ
âdo you want me to kill her?âÂ
âwould you? she pushed yuuji and it broke our mugs.â Â
sukuna finishes the end of the braid and secures it with an elastic, before placing his hands on your shoulder and swinging you back around to face him.Â
âiâll get you another one.âÂ
âarenât they limited edition?âÂ
âiâll bid on ebay. itâs not a big deal.âÂ
âsukuna.âÂ
âi had to bid on the first two on ebay anyways. i can literally just do it again baby, itâs not a big deal.âÂ
two feet away, yuuji feels like heâs intruding. and living in an alternate universe. because itâs the first time heâs seen you like this with someone else â venting so openly, accepting his affections so freely as he presses a kiss to your cheek and pulls at your wrists to stop you from picking at your skin.Â
and sukuna seems like an entire stranger. brushing his fingers against your cheek so gently, the tone in his voice so uncharacteristically soft as he tries to comfort you. bidding on flowery mugs on ebay, braiding your hair to get you to stop pulling at it.Â
yuuji feels guilty. maybe he really did have it all wrong. because the things that sukuna was doing were so arbitrary, but they were making all the difference at curbing the tears pouring out of your eyes.
maybe he just didn't get it.
ânow mention the good things.â sukuna states.Â
you glare at him.Â
âthere are no good things.âÂ
sukuna spares a glance over his shoulder to yuuji, gesturing for him to join, before looking back at you.Â
âreally? you canât even think of one?â
yuuji catches his drift as he walks up to your side, slinging his arm around your shoulder.Â
âyouâre a smart girl. you can figure it out.â yuuji offers.Â
you roll your eyes.Â
âand now you two are ganging up on me. is this really the time?âÂ
the two of them laugh, even more delighted when you crack a smile for the first time in hours, before the two of them give each other a nod and wrap both of their arms around you.Â
âstill nothing good?â yuuji asks.Â
ânope. youâre both crushing me to death. and you smell.âÂ
sukuna presses a kiss to your forehead and yuuji pinches at the side of your cheek.Â
âhow about now?â sukuna asks.Â
âyou guys are kind of annoying, you know that?âÂ
you pull back, placing a hand on both of their shoulders, and darting your eyes between the two of them.Â
âare you guys being buddies for my birthday or are you actually making up?âÂ
sukuna rolls his eyes.Â
âobviously the latter. we arenât sisters.âÂ
âyouâre fucking kidding. like the two of you are any better.â you state. Â
yuuji scoffs.Â
âthey broke two whole fucking ceramic mug. and ruined a birthday party. sisters are a whole different ballpark.âÂ
âyou punched me in the face and ruined a family dinner. how is that any different?âÂ
sukuna and yuuji both scoff, before yuuji reaches forward to pinch your cheek.Â
âare you going to hold that over my head forever?âÂ
âbasically. for both of you actually.âÂ
sukuna shuffles over to the fridge, tasking himself with stacking the freshly made boxes of cake in the fridge.Â
âi think weâll live.âÂ
--
three days later, with all the leftover heaviness from your birthday gone, yuuji takes you out for drinks on your birthday. and while sammy gave you a halfhearted apology, you swallowed it down for the tiem being and let it go.Â
things were well â with yuuji and sukuna getting along and things being somewhat on the come up with sammy. though that feeling only lasts a few hours before sukuna sends you six calls, the seventh of which you finally answer when you make your way out of the bar.Â
âhi sukuna. you okay?âÂ
you hear a sniffle on the other side of the phone.Â
âhow drunk are you?â he asks, his voice raspy.Â
âwhat?âÂ
âcan you drive or do i need to come get you guys?âÂ
you cover your free ear with your hand, trying to tune out the blaring music, as you press the phone against your ear harder.Â
âi can drive, i barely had half of my margarita. is everything ââÂ
âyou need to come to my momâs house. as soon as possible. leave now.âÂ
âis everything fi ââÂ
âmy dad is dead. as soon as you can, y/n.âÂ
--
an: ok my set up was done sorry for this ass chapter again the next few will be considerably better since i've been planning them out properly
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medialog april 2k24
ok. sick day catch up part two
watched
monkey man - this was gnarly and fun and dev patel, quite simply the hottest man ever to live, is upsettingly hot in this film, like SO hot oh my fucking god
white room - this was a VERY weird movie that (as per the filmmaker q & a) totally flopped at a film festival and never received distribution... you can kinda see why but i more or less liked it. it's about a weird sheltered repressed dude who accidentally sees the murder of a mysterious pop star and then accidentally befriends and falls in love with the woman who was actually the reclusive songwriter and voice of the act... the filmmaker described it as a "journey through genres" and it was very artistically ambitious in a way that maybe didn't totally work but it had some really good stuff about art/consumption/fame/women (my jam) and it frequently looked gorgeous and also all of the mysterious/reclusive pop singer's songs were big late 80s/early 90s style upbeat synth-bombast numbers with lyrics taken from emily dickinson poems which is soooooo funny and a great idea
alien - this is like die hard in that if i'd seen it ten years ago i would not really have understood the hype but seeing after i had a backwards education in film by watching all of the mcu movies and developing curiosity about the question of why they were bad and ugly in such distinct ways and from there developing a nascent and unsophisticated appreciation of the filmic qualities of film i'm like, wow what an incredibly fucking well made movie!!!!!! some things in particular i liked were (1) no substantive backstory for anyone, no dark secrets except the one that really counted, no traumatic pasts, no explanation for how this world works or why anyone was here except needing a job, just giving us the bare minimum to understand the situation the characters find themselves in and trusting the story to do the rest (2) very good spaceshippy spaceship (another way it's like die hard is lots of great Texture, another thing that the MCU lacks which like many other MCU traits was actually a totally fitting design choice for tech bro billionaire tony stark in iron man but simply did not need to expand to Everything...) (3) sigourney weaver so good! ian holmes also very good (4) lots of suspense through silence which is one of the most lost of lost arts in the realm of big expensive Cool Shit Happens cinema!
roy cohn/jack smith - this was a filmed recording of two monologues performed by ron vawter, a gay actor who died of AIDS, each in the character of another gay man who had AIDS - the notorious roy cohn & the experimental cinema icon jack smith. i don't really have much to say about it but i feel very lucky to have seen it and vawter was incredible - i'm glad also that he happened to come to our attention a few months ago because he played the therapist in sex lies & videotape.
mad max: fury road - ok i kept putting this off because the way people talked about it on the internet frankly emphasized to an off-putting degree the ideas in this movie and did not adequately convey to me personally the most important thing about it which is that it Fucking Owns Lmao Wow. we happened to pause it for some reason like 50 minutes in and i swear to you i would have guessed 15, maybe 20 minutes had passed, that's how much it flies by... the coolest shit ever, i wanted to live there forever! also lottie yellowjackets is one of the wives????
mission: impossible 3 - the worst movie in the entire world. we only revisited this one as part of our ongoing marathon with some friends and we spent the whole time complaining about jj abrams' totally inept camera work... seriously watch this movie and look out for (1) every time an already fast sequence is torn up with a zillion stupid little cuts some of which actively prevent us from seeing something that could have been cool (2) every time we get to a new location and the camera starts aimlessly drifting to the side literally immediately because he's afraid we'll get bored if we sit in a location for one whole second (3) every time 3 people are having a conversation and the camera spends the whole time just purposelessly wafting back and forth side to side for, i cannot emphasize this enough, no reason at all. literally nothing in this, an installment of the Stuff Looking Cool franchise, looks even a little bit cool even one time. people hate on 2 for the male gaze of it all re: thandie newton but her character has more personality and agency than ethan's sexy lamp wife in this. the closest to a redeeming value this movie has is that it really feels like part of the goal was to remind everyone of how even though tom cruise jumped on that couch one time he's actually a very normal american heterosexual man (he passes out at one point and flashes back to his wife in her underwear sdksoeroser it's SO dumb) but because he's tom cruise (a total insane freak) he can't convincingly portray that at all and just comes across as insane and maybe a sociopath. "what about philip seymour hoffman" i'm not going to give abrams credit for knowing PSH was a good actor, that's like saying defending a doctor accused of malpractice by saying he knows that feet generally have toes. be serious. i will give a shout out to simon pegg, who is in this less than i remembered but who comes across as the MVP (across what should be a deep bench of a cast!) of making abrams' horrible comic-book-bro-patter come across as something a human might say, mostly so i can also share my friend's insight when i said that which is that it makes sense pegg is suited to the task given that he cut his teeth largely on movies that are parodies of shitty action movies.
mission: impossible - ghost protocol - a wonderful and perfect treat :) i've gone on at length about this one before and really have nothing left to say but it's so good and so specifically good at all the things 3 sucks ass at... my friend was physically squirming next to me on the couch during the burj khalifa sequence, as is right and proper :)
read
beautiful losers - this is a novel leonard cohen wrote in the 60s that is very weird and experimental and i'll be real with you and say i did not get it. it's about a guy whose wife and best friend he had a weird sexual relationship with are both dead and now he's kind of obsessed with an iroquois saint... i am not sure how to describe it but i guess i would say if you think the music of leonard cohen is too optimistic and insufficiently horny for you maybe you would like this. it is probably the most aggressively sexual book i've ever read but not in an erotic way... it's very like about the nastiness of sex and bodies... which i admire ideologically on a certain level but it's really quite unrelenting with it... occasionally there are snatches of deeply beautiful writing though.
listened
sourpatch, stagger & fade - nick put on the vinyl of this and i was like oh that sounds nice and i wound up listening to it a bit... fuzzy indie rock (i'm not educated enough to parse genres more finely than that) that makes for very pleasant background listening
ariana grande, eternal sunshine - i've never kept up with ariana because i just find her voice kind of annoying and i had never heard a song to challenge that UNTIL we reviewed "we can't be friends" at singles jukebox and ariana teaming up with max martin to do kidz bop body talk era robyn turned out to be everything i wanted from her... unfortunately the rest of the album was incredibly boring lol. love that song tho!
maggie rogers, don't forget me - i don't know that i find this one as interesting as her last album or quite as likable as her first (although that might be me somewhat overrating her first because i love "light on" sooooo much) but she's such a capital-M Musician she's always a pleasure to listen to. "drunk" was an early fave but recently i found myself returning a lot to "the kill"
girl in red, i'm doing it again baby! - girl in red comes a lot when other people are talking about the g*yl*rs as one of the actual queer artists they should support but first of all they actually love her and second of all i listened to this album twice straight through and have let some of the songs play on shuffle since and i could not hum you one single line :/
taylor swift, the tortured poets department - speak of the devil! i mean i've talked about this. i like this album a lot - at this point i'm ready to call it easily her best work except for maybe folklore, and honestly i find it hard to assess folklore out of what a special lockdown treat it felt like at the time. i don't expect a world insistent on calling 1989 pop perfection to eventually agree with me but i think people will mellow out about it in time and forget that it was so divisive on release much as has happened with reputation (an album far worthier of scorn if not without its occasional merits) and at the VERY least i think in like 5 years it will be more or less consensus that it's better than midnights.
the starting line, say it like you mean it - i listened to this album mostly to fact-check claims i was making about emo in the taylor swift piece but then i kept listening to it cuz it was kinda full of bops!
fall out boy, take this to your grave - @voidofcourse recommended this as a stepping stone from the starting line for loud guys offering bops and indeed it too was full of bops!
other
an enemy of the people - i saw this on broadway, yes, 1000% literally just because my boy my king my number one guy jeremy strong was in it. the production was interesting and good if not flawless, and although i think some of the younger cast members got a little lost in the old-fashioned theatrical language (even in a new translation) and could have used some direction towards really pulling out the meaning of individual sentences they were saying, the more seasoned actors all did a great job, including, of course, jeremy strong, who got to be shoved into a pit and have pretend ice thrown at him, i'm so happy for him. also the play was incredible? like as a play? i said as much here after seeing it but basically it's about this doctor who discovers that the town baths that are about to open have a contaminated water supply that is definitely going to result in people getting sick and some of them dying, especially since they are being advertised partly for their health-restoring properties for people who are already not doing well, and he's like, wow, good thing i caught this thanks to the help of science so we can change plans, and then everyone else in town is like, but have you considered that would be expensive? why do you hate poor people? (there's a thread specifically about the editor of the radical leftist newspaper going from being the doctor's number one champion to being totally coopted out of both politics and self-interest that was particularly brutal to watch...) like it was truly SO incredibly specifically relevant to some Extremely Contemporary Issues that i was just agog and also it was incredibly fucking upsetting to watch! really really great playwriting, such a clean example of how a work can best encompass & comment on ideas by developing them through character and dramatic action rooted in wants, needs, choices, conflict, etc., a lesson many people could stand to learn. i kept thinking it had burrowed as deeply into the core issues as it could and then it found another layer. this ibsen guy... he really knew some stuff about stuff....
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i'm losing my mind. FTL is for the Gojo girlies fr we're eating GOOD so far.
back in chapter 29 he mentions how he fell in love with our voice first and FTL opens up with the fact that the first thing he noticed about us was our laugh. my fucking heart omfg Kami WHAT.
the amount of references back to chapter 29 is actually insane. Gojo asking her if she even likes parties because he recalls seeing her less and less when he goes to them :(
i'm so curious to see if the mention of Satoru self-projecting is going to be consistent with this sequel. knowing you, it most probably will. omg my heart's gonna hurt i already know it.
the amount of parallels to us and Satoru is crazy. those last two paragraphs really caught my eye when i was rereading. assuming that the "monster" being mentioned is Sukuna, Satoru "never finding out" the reason why Sukuna decided to blackmail him directly relates back to how it felt like we'd never find out the reason why Satoru blackmailed us. omg.
the mention of how we were completely oblivious to how many guys have took an interest/watched us is crazy foreshadowing. the implication of Satoru noticing them and most probably writing them down in his journal, along with the theory of Sukuna somehow getting access to that journal and reading through it, could explain how Sukuna devised that list. AAAAAA KAMIIIIIIIIIII YOU'RE KILLING ME
sorry for the multiple, broken up messages omfg my brain is short circuiting from the anticipation
-âď¸
Wanted to condense this message with the other ^.^
ANYWHO, yes yes everything connects very well đ Iâm trying my best to answer all plot holes as I go bc god forbid I finish ftl and thereâs still unanswered questions (Iâll cry myself to sleep)
Aaand if u read chapter 29 youâll also notice that the reader implies it was love at first sound instead of sight & now we know that thts almost exactly what it was :)) His curiosity sparked from the laugh & spiraled after that đ
A lot of references will be made bc I gotta make sure everything makes sense! I want the story to end & everyone understands everything (if not, Im sure youâll have another breakdown of tfl & ftl put together ^.^)
Oh and if you think Satoru & the reader have parallels, wait tilâ you find out who Sukuna parallels to đ (his parallels are a lot more tame tho⌠I think)
Lastly, the obliviousness was kinda a nod to Gojoâs infatuation in general (im trying not to spoil rn bc we will return to this point soon, trust me) like how he developed a crush & feelings despite never having so much as one convo with the reader!
Itâs kind of a lil life lesson too, shows you how in life youâll never really know if someoneâs yearning for you unless they tell you & many people go their entire lives having had crushed on someone without ever telling them ;)
ANYWAY, IM EXCITED. YALL ARE EXCITED. LETSGOOO đŁď¸
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And before I say another word, I will always feel nothing but empathy for those who suffer chronic pain and I only wish I could make a difference and support these people because I know how much it means to them. Jjahaahaha why the fuck is it so hard for people to talk with me about scoliosis. Epilepsy they're all ears asking me questions. And women with Endo? LOOOVE to talk about their condition. Haa. And of course I genuinely, organically, love to listen to others talk about their chronic illnesses because I know how important it is, and I'm interested to hear their experiences. No hate on women with endometriosis. They just love to talk about it especially when people listen intently. It just hurts so bad how hard it is to get even my own family to give a single fuck beyond "I'm sorry wow changes subject immediately" or "yeah I knew a girl with that back in high school" shit blows my mind. I'm not selfish for wanting an ounce of attention paid to it because I've hardly ever gotten that. I connected to my friend with scoliosis who died of an overdose. Fleetingly, a five minute conversation that meant the entire world, I could cry. The face she made, while telling me what I already know, my truth per se she lived all the same and she lost the battle. God bless her soul and her daughter who lives on. Plus my spinal therapist, Isabella and Ravi, and that is it.
Haha I've known women with scoliosis who are so turned off by me trying to connect. John tells me, well maybe you shouldn't dwell on it. When the fuck do I? Yeah, right now on my tumblr. Irl I dont say a fucking word because nobody has ever cared.
Oh my God, so worth mentioning. When I was younger and naive, I had men find out about my spinal deformity and show so much concern right up to the point they'd say "would a back rub help?" Just to get me to expose my body and allow them to touch my bare skin. I was so fucking foolish. I was so young and so excited anyone cared. I just thought since I mostly spent my time with men, it would make sense they'd show concern. Well, turns out women don't offer teenage girls backrubs. So idiotic. I yearn for anyone to give a fuck. I don't understand why I get fucking interviewed about epilepsy but my spine (bane of my existence, actively ruins almost every aspect of my life, I never have flare-ups, my spine is constantly regressing and worsening. I wake up every morning in a deformed body that is collapsing in on itself. Lol) and I mean whatever. Like I said, I'm hardly asking anything. If things were 5% better. If my family just asked how it's going. I don't give a fuck about anyone helping me with the groceries, I just want somebody to care and it's been like this since my diagnosis. My own parents cut the conversation short every time. What is wrong with the way I speak?
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One of my favorite hobbies is opening the Genius annotations of lyrics I'm checking purely to roast the absolutely ATROCIOUS "analysis" some people throw up with full confidence on that site, oh my god.
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i've thought a lot about it and i have concluded that parents just shouldn't Be Like That about their kids doing sports, you know?
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
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I LOVE going everywhere by bike. Don't need to wait for a bus. Don't need to cram myself into a bus with (urgh) people. Or even worse, what feels like every single student in town. I still get home in about the same amount of time. I'm so so flexible including with places. Like yeah sure, let's go there! I don't care if the next bus station is far away. Doesn't matter to me.
Stayed out late with friends recently. Two of em had to get their family to come pick them up because that's too far to walk and it was too late for buses. A different friend lives like 30 minutes away but always walks and their way goes through a small park where literally no one is at with few lanterns so it's pitch black and I could literally just walk them home and then take the bike which is faster and has its own light and feels and probably is safer than walking those dark ass streets at night alone.
Like. I can just do all that. And yeah, sometimes when I'm not doing too well I feel like collapsing afterwards and yeah, maybe my fingers feel like falling off a lot at this time of year but that's like. SO worth it. I have no idea how people can live and NOT go everywhere by bike. Like if it's more than 20-30 minutes maybe but even with hills.... I fucking love my bike.
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The worst thing about suffering is that it still hurts when the danger is over but no one cares about it anymore because it shouldn't hurt. No one will ever say "I'm sorry that happened to you" especially when they barely say "I'm sorry that's happening."
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i keep thinking it seems odd that i did so much intense travel literally a couple of days ago bc it just felt very smooth and quick even though logically i know it wasn't and i truly believe it's because i was not fucking conscious for it. like i was off my nut to be quite honest
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Vent abt smth that gets on my Nerves
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PLAYED ALL OF SOULSCAPE LAST NIGHT...... RAMBLING SPOILERS IN THE TAGS...... :D
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